


Dreams of Red Horizons

by Yidenia



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Action, Angst, Family, Friendship, Gen, Magic, Shinto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:05:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 207,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8325361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yidenia/pseuds/Yidenia
Summary: Syaoran passes the Final Judgment.This messes up everyone's plans.





	1. Defying the Moirai

The cards shot toward him like bullets, veering before they could hit him so that they spun around him like a whirlwind, faster and faster and faster, the embossed gold glowing so that as they whipped past, streaks of light blazed in the night.

Magic crackled, like tinkling ice and crystal. His own, stretching out and interlacing with this old power: fifty-two spirits that comprised all of magic. They stretched back, interlocking, but they watched him.

From the periphery, he could sense Keroberus and Yue. The Sun and Moon, that flank all events, as the real celestial bodies do to Earth.

They hooked onto him and wrapped around him. Magic sang, and he felt it vibrate through his whole being. The world whited out, before all went abruptly, absolutely dark.

Color was the first to return—blurred shapes. There was a low hum of voices, at first too indistinct to understand, but as time went on, he began to parse the sounds into words.

_…quick…not…time. This…nor………. This is the child……He is our new master, and will guide us to this new world……Want………forget. The past……the future. Look……see……_

Abruptly, it all died down, though magic continued to thrum within him; his heart, his belly, his limbs, the backs of his eyes. As the after-images faded, he looked out to see the cards, slowly sorting themselves back into the deck. Keroberus and Yue's eyes were still glowing dimly, but they were staring at each other, not at Syaoran.

He could sense them, still. Keroberus's sun magic, flaming gold; Yue's cold moon magic, smooth like water.

They were his now. _My guardians._

" _Li-kun_ …" Kinomoto breathed.

She stood, in her ridiculous pink costume that Daidouji made for her. The wand was gone. She seemed unsettled, pale and lost. Her aura shrank down, as if hiding.

"Behold," Yue intoned, "the heir of the Clow Cards."

* * *

"Congratulations," Kinomoto said earnestly. "I'm happy for you, _Li-kun_."

She was not, but she wanted to be, Syaoran knew. She had not even been given a chance, and now she never will. It was a wrench, to have gone through so many months, of getting to know this new world, only for this one night to render it all irrelevant.

"I can't believe it," Kero muttered, staring into the distance. "He didn't have enough cards. The book didn't go to him. How can  _he_ be…? This makes no sense!"

"It is what it is," said Yue, arms folded. His wings were gone, but his figure was still faintly illuminated by his own magic, just as Kero's was. "What's done is done."

"Congratulations,  _Li-kun,_ " Tomoyo managed, though she looked even more worried than Kinomoto. "You must be so proud."

Hard to be, when everyone else appeared so devastated. It was difficult to tell with Yue, but Kero could not have broadcasted his displeasure more if he tried, and Kinomoto was a terrible liar.

Kinomoto shifted as the awkward silence dragged on. "Well… _ano…_ does this mean that…you'll be going home soon?"

Syaoran frowned. "Is that what you want?"

" _Nani? Iie!_ I mean—" she stammered.

"I can't believe it," Kero was still saying.

Kero had been staying with Kinomoto all this time. Yue had also planted himself here in the form of Yukito. And just because she was not Card Mistress, did not mean Kinomoto lost all her magic. She still needed training, now that she no longer had the cards to buffer; Yukito and Kero also needed to adjust. Leaving now would not be wise.

His mother should agree.

But the night was too tumultuous for him to make any promises. He was exhausted, and his mind felt wrecked. He had no idea what his mother would actually say. It was late, and the magic was still humming in his veins; all fifty-two cards now linked to him, tugging here, pushing there. He needed to sort everything out, everything that had happened tonight, had happened over the past year. They all needed to come to terms before he said anything rash.

"I think we should all go home," he said to everyone. "It's…been a hectic night."

"I'm _not_ leaving Sakura," Kero glared mutinously.

"Then stay with her," Syaoran replied, nonplussed.  _Didn't I just say that we should all go home?_

Kero looked surprised, for some reason. Kinomoto glanced at Kero, looking alarmed.

"I'll stay with him," Yue stated to his fellow guardian, moving to Syaoran's side.

"You don't have to," Syaoran looked at him, suddenly discomfited by the notion of the intimidating guardian coming over to his flat. "I'm sure you are tired too, and Tsukishiro wouldn't appreciate having to go all the way back to his house tonight."

Yue remained unimpressed. "I'll manage."

Syaoran liked to think he was reasonably assertive, but something about Yue's response left no room for debate.

" _Arigatou gozaimasu, Li-kun,"_ Sakura bowed slightly.

It was a measure of how tired Syaoran was that it took a moment for him to understand why she was thanking him.

Kero was his guardian now. He should not be staying with Sakura.

There was another long moment of awkward silence before Syaoran turned away, signaling to the others that they should leave. Yue stepped in line with Syaoran as they parted ways from the others. Syaoran could hear Kero and Daidouji whispering behind him, and Sakura's despondent sigh.

_Would be easier if I lost, wouldn't it?_

Yue remained silent, like a spectre. Syaoran was abruptly reminded that the guardian was coming over to his home. His  _home._ Was it clean there? Did he wash all the dishes and empty out the trash? Maybe he could freeze time and clean things up before letting Yue in, although Yue was resistant to Time's effects.

And Kero. Kero did not like him. Syaoran did not like Kero either, but they are now stuck with each other.  _I did not think this through,_ he thought. Not that fudging his own judgment was an option, but just overall, he had not bothered to consider the consequences, either way.

He had done it. Syaoran had done it. He had come to Japan to collect the Clow Cards and they are now his. After a year of toil, in a society he did not belong in and among people he did not know, the relic of his distant ancestor is now in his hands, where it belongs. Yet somehow, he could not feel triumphant, or even relieved.

He passed the Final Judgment with fewer cards than Kinomoto, but most of the cards were hers and had bonded to her, the guardians both established bonds with her in their false forms, and neither of them liked him. She is now without cards but with her own magic in a magical world she had only known through the cards. Tsukishiro is still a high school student who is enrolled in Tomoeda High; however this worked with his grandparents would have to be addressed too. There was no reason for Syaoran to stay in Japan except everything he won still belonged to Sakura.

Overall, Syaoran mused, hunching over as he walked,  _it doesn't feel like I really won._

* * *

 

As they neared his apartment, Syaoran wished he had been braver earlier about telling Yue to go home to his own house. He was feeling almost miserable now, very shaken, and as lost as Sakura must feel. All he wanted to do was be alone and digest the events of the evening. Having the moon guardian around would have been stressful even at the best of times—Yue was tall, imposing, and cold—it seemed to be a downright bad idea when Syaoran felt so rattled.

But the longer they walked, the more courage it took, until Syaoran finally just gave up as his building loomed into view. Yue had been a silent companion the entire time, face impassive, keeping his strides leisurely to match Syaoran's own pace. His presence unnerved Syaoran, and he wished he knew what Yue was thinking.

_Probably upset. Would he be upset? He did lost a battle after all. Probably would not be happy. And he is getting uprooted too. If I go to Hong Kong, he would have to come with me. He probably likes Tomoeda more. **I** also like Tomoeda. I wouldn't want to go to someplace I've never been before._

What a mess.

By the time they actually arrived at the apartment, Syaoran had forgotten all about his concerns regarding the tidiness of the place. He just wanted to lock himself in his room and not come out for at least a week.

Yue stepped over the threshold after him, as inscrutable as ever.

"You live alone?" the guardian asked, startling Syaoran so much that he jumped.

"Uh…" he stammered, " _hai,_ I live alone."

The guardian's pale eyes scanned the place from the alcove. "You have no adult here?"

"Well,  _iie,_ "and then Syaoran remembered his earlier worry. His uniform was just tossed over one of the chairs. "I'm not usually this messy, though."

Yue gave him a look that Syaoran could not read.

"It's just been very busy lately. Between exams—and—you know."

Yue said nothing.

 _This is really awkward._ "I'm going to—uh—would you like something to drink?" He suddenly thought of Tsukishiro and his love of pork buns.  _Blast._ "I can check the fridge to see if there's—I haven't made dinner yet."  _I don't have enough to feed both Tsukishiro and myself but we'll see._ "Let me put some water on."

"I don't drink," the guardian inserted.

"Oh." Syaoran took a moment to analyze that. He had no idea what to conclude, nor what to say now. "Well," he trailed, and then decided he really wanted to get away more than anything else, at least to get his thoughts in order, "you can have a look around,  _ano_ , make yourself at home. Look in the fridge and see if there's anything you want—I don't usually have guests over so…but just grab anything. I'll be right back."

He fled, leaving Yue standing near the front door.

Once in the bedroom, Syaoran took a deep breath.  _Okay, so Yue the moon guardian is here. I need to be a good host, but I don't know how to be a good host. If this were Tsukishiro he'd have accepted tea or something but he'd also help me out by going along. This is a disaster. Don't panic._

He was already panicking.

 _Okay, stop panicking. It's not like you cheated. You won the judgment fair and square. They can't hate you for that, can they?_ Though he did just leave his guest outside by himself. Like an idiot.

He should change into normal clothes; no doubt Yue was  _not_ impressed with the robes, even if they made magic-wielding easier. And he should offer Yue some tea even if Yue said no because that was what he would do with normal people,  _stupid! And I would certainly not just run into the bedroom while they haven't even sat down yet._

Also he forgot to lock the front door.

A quick change into a t-shirt and sweatpants later, Syaoran went to the front door to find that it was already locked. Either it was reflexive on his part, which would be nice and handy, or Yue did it for him.

 _Drat._ Yue did it for him. The guardian probably thought he was hopeless.  _What was I thinking?_ Yue was already unimpressed with how Syaoran was living alone.  _Well it's not my fault I live alone._ But now the guardian probably thought he was not mature enough to live alone—where was Yue anyway?

Yue was in the kitchen. While Syaoran had selfishly changed into more comfortable clothes, the guardian had taken it upon himself to put a teapot on the stove.

"I can do this," Syaoran insisted, "you can go sit down."

"You can sit down," Yue said, looking at him.

It felt wrong to sit down while his guest was boiling water. " _Iie,_ I can handle this."

Yue just stared at him instead of answering.

Syaoran stared back, grew uncomfortable, then turned his gaze to the stove.

They both ended up just standing wordlessly in the kitchen, watching the pot, which meant the water took extra long to boil.

"…Should I use a spell?" Syaoran glanced at Yue for some reassurance. Yue was watching the pot by now as well, and did not react one way or another.

Nervous, Syaoran felt it safer to just let nature take its course.

He would probably mess up the spell anyway. That would really impress Yue.

* * *

 Yue did not eat or drink. Syaoran wished he understood this before he went about making dinner, because he had no appetite and all the food ended up just sitting there. Of course, the guardian did actually say that he did not eat or drink, but like the dullard Syaoran was, he did not draw the obvious conclusions.

In the end, the guardian signaled the end of that particular failure by starting to box all the food, which had Syaoran jumping into action because what was he doing, forcing his guest to box his own food? This did not make any sense. Yue relinquished the job in favor of watching Syaoran, which was its own form of torture; there was no way for Syaoran to even guess at what the guardian was thinking.

After that came the issue of where the guardian should sleep. Syaoran was completely unprepared for this, because he thought when Yue said "I'll stay with him", he meant until after dinner, though in hindsight, Syaoran really should have known better. Not only that, he lived alone and never had guests over. He had no extra bed and the couch was too short for someone as tall as Yue to lie flat on.

"I favor the night," Yue said, as Syaoran deliberated on this dilemma.

 _Moon guardian. **Duh.**_ Syaoran mentally whacked himself, feeling stupid.

"Well…if you need to do anything…" Syaoran chose not to finish that line of thought because it sounded like he was trying to kick Yue out. "I mean…"  _I have to go to bed._ Go to bed while the guest was still up? How was he supposed to do that? Kinomoto would have handled this much better than Syaoran is; she was more personable, had  more friends over, although her brother was in the house and sometimes her father which meant she would have to explain Yue's presence there—but Yue would have gone as Tsukishiro, in that case, and he was friends with the elder Kinomoto already so it would have been much easier and Kero would just sleep in Kinomoto's room and no one would be the wiser and they all belonged together  _what on earth have I done?!_

Yue suddenly reached out, pale fingers splayed over Syaoran's face. The guardian's skin was cool to the touch, hard as marble. Syaoran had no time to react before he suddenly felt very heavy. His thoughts slowed.

 _Tired._ Was it time to wake up yet? He felt as he would if he had partially roused in the middle of the night, long before his alarm clock was due to sound.  _Mm. Must be hours yet._

He felt long arms holding him, and his cheek pressing against someone's shoulder.  _Mama?_ Did not feel like her. His forehead was tucked into someone's neck, but it was not hers. It had been some time since he was held this way. Not sure whom. Some uncle?

_Some…_


	2. Discord

When they were young and living under Clow Reed's watchful eye, Kerberus and Yue had their share of disagreements. Kerberus was designed to be like the sun; exuberant, vivacious, intense in all he did. When joyful, he spread his glee and chased away shadows, and when enraged, his fire burned hot and lethal. He was spontaneous, though unchanging, or at least slow to change. He cared little for others when he was so glowing, and would tackle problems on the spot, relying on his quick wit and brute strength. Yue, on the other hand, was reserved, quiet, and dark. He did not spread his emotions to others, and would often remain unnoticed save when all quieted down and he was the only light left. His temper revealed itself through the subtle yet profound inactions, when he would refuse to do what was expected, refuse to help when he could. Refuse to shine, as Clow had put it, when he did not feel like shining. He was deliberate, yet fluid; he watched, observed, and planned ahead, but he never solved any problem the same way twice.

The two did not always see eye to eye, but they always respected each other's differences underneath. In a way, Kerberus always looked out for Yue, who was the younger of the two, and though Yue was better at handling conflicts, it was often in part because Kerberus primed the battlefield. It was part of what made the two a good team. If they ever quarreled, the reasons were always quickly forgotten. One might say they cared for each other too much. The only time they ever had a serious argument was when Clow Reed died.

Thousands of years later, his descendant gave them another cause.

" _Kero-chan?_ I can go get him," Sakura called out to the sun guardian without covering the receiver. Yue listened with one arm across his torso, hand clutching his robe. He heard Tomoyo inquired in her high, delicate voice, and Sakura muttered back.

Then Kerberus came on the line.

" _Nan desu ka?_ " he demanded.

"I need you to come to the apartment," said Yue.

"Are you joking? I'm not going over there! Do you realize what a lousy night it's been?"

" _Kero-chan…_ I'll be fine," Sakura tried to reassure him. " _Tomoyo-chan_ is with me. If  _Yue-san_ needs you then you can go."

"We need to talk," said Yue.

"Why can't you come over here?" Kerberus asked.

"He lives by himself," said Yue. Even in the days of Clow, this would be concerning. "I put him to sleep but I do not feel comfortable leaving him alone."

"Well Sakura's also by herself, with  _Tomoyo-chan_ , so I don't see what the problem is. Besides, he told me to stay with Sakura."

"Kerberus," Yue switched to old Latin, "I need to talk to you and I need you to come to the apartment."

"Why?" Kerberus followed suit. "I don't even know where the brat lives!"

"I'll give you the directions and meet you on the roof."

" _Not a chance._ "

Yue frowned. "The girl has her cousin with her, and I know for a fact that Touya is coming home soon. She's not going to be alone in the house, and I  _need to talk to you._ Now. Get here."

He gave a quick address and slammed the phone down harder than he meant to, though Syaoran was safely asleep in the bedroom. Due to the spell, it would take more than hanging up the phone to wake him. He stared for a moment into the center of the room, then in the direction of the bedroom where the boy slept. The cards were a slow-churning chaos of magical signatures; Syaoran had not oriented himself with them yet. He would need to, though he was in no state to do so tonight.

Kerberus showed up, twenty minutes later, grumbling with his small tail waving back and forth in displeasure, like a cat. Yue met him on the roof as promised. Below, the streets were quiet, the streetlamps still and silent.

The sun guardian folded his forearms and scowled heavily at Yue.

"It's all the same to you," he accused, "because you have the sentiment of an iceberg, but the kid's a brat and he's going to make life hell for both of us."

"You say that like I had any choice," Yue glared coldly back. "The terms of the Final Judgment were clear."

"Sakura didn't even have a chance! She'd have beaten you easily; he only had what, ten cards out of the fifty-two? And you  _knew_ he was the descendant of Clow."

"His bloodline made no difference."

"Oh I think it did," Kerberus spat. "You can't tell me that you couldn't even beat someone with only ten cards. Clow must have made a mistake in your design somewhere, then. Maybe we need another judge."

"You are welcome to find another, if you can," Yue hissed. "As it is, I did not want this boy to win any more than you do. Fate led me here, seven years ago, and I watched her grow, Kerberus. I watched her brother grow and I watched her grow and while you were busy sleeping in the book, I took care of her, I comforted her when she was sad, I took pride in her achievements. I did not expect the boy to defeat me. I meant to finish him off quickly because I wanted _her_ to win."

"So you underestimated him?"

"Perhaps, but I am not the only one. Has it occurred to you that while Sakura is coming to terms with tonight, that the boy is too?"

"See, you can't even say his name."

" _Li Syaoran_ is just as distraught as Sakura, perhaps more so."

"Oh for crying out loud!" Kerberus yelled. "Now you're just making things up! Admit it! You favored the boy, because he's the precious little descendant of our old Master and you couldn't let go of him even after so long, so now you've messed everything up! But he's a bleeding little piece of trash! As ever, you are a horrid judge of character, Yue!"

Yue's rage darkened his entire form, so that against the backdrop of the sky, he was difficult to see.

"I loved Clow, as did you, but I never thought him replaceable. Not by Kinomoto Sakura, and  _certainly_ not by Li Syaoran. I did  _not_ hold back during the Final Judgment; there were maneuvers I tried that would have  _killed_ him, Kerberus, despite the rules Clow Reed had articulated. Even you should have seen that. He did not defeat me by some stroke of  _luck_ , or any kind of favoritism; Clow did  _not_ design me to favor sentiment, and failing that, the cards would have rebelled, for they, too, are their own judge, and they had also deemed him worthy. If anyone is a horrid judge of character, it is  _you_ , or did you think it was an accident that Clow designated you as the captors' mentor instead of the judge?"

"Clow made you the judge because you would have been terrible at guiding! We both know that!"

"Clow made me the judge because you were always too full of yourself to be able to gauge anyone's character. You were always self-concerned, attentive only to your own achievements."

Kerberus knew this was true, which only made his temper flare hotter.

"I'm not listening to this!" the guardian proclaimed. "I can't believe I flew all the way out here for this! You fool! I hope you're happy now, because you'll regret this—the little bastard thinks he's so wonderful; always has! He doesn't appreciate the likes of us, because to him we're not  _human_ , we're  _beneath_ him, and he'll trample over us until he finally kicks the bucket, and you chose  _him_ over  _Sakura!_ You bloody fool! I'm done with you!"

He flew off, a tiny streak in mid-air. Yue folded his arms, figure still stiff and dark with fury. He was so angry he could not move, and stood there on the roof, trying to rein in his temper before heading back inside.

The boy was still sleeping, thankfully. Yue studied him from the doorway.

 _Is it true? Did I let you win because you reminded me of Clow?_ There was nothing about the boy that even remotely resembled Clow. If anything, Yue was more vicious with him, because it hurt, more than anything, to realize that nothing of Clow remained.

_Did Clow know that you will inherit his cards?_

The child, of course, slept on. He had been on the verge of a panic attack before Yue had put him to sleep. It was a strong spell, powered by the Sleep card, one of the cards in the moon's domain, for obvious reasons.

 _He's afraid of me_. People tended to be. Kerberus was the one everyone gravitated to. The one everyone liked, because he was direct, approachable, and easy to read. Yue was the one in the shadows, who left everyone with that feeling of both awe and uneasiness, who was inscrutable and difficult to grow close to. Between the two of them, they would make a good team, but Kerberus had flown off to be with his favorite card captor, leaving Yue with the distraught child whose world had turned upside down, and did not even have a friend to help him come to terms with what this would all mean.

 _What would Tsukishiro do?_ That was not helpful, because Yue knew what the boy would do: he would ignore the problem and try to alleviate the situation with a light-hearted distraction, and that would be good for a while, but it was not what was needed here. Yukito would be as lost as Yue.

 _You are my master. Surely you can't be all that bad. Clow would never…_ but Clow did not. He was long dead. Still, Kerberus might as well be talking about someone else altogether. Li Syaoran was not gregarious or openly friendly; Yue knew that, having witnessed Yukito's interactions with the boy. But that awful dinner, and how miserable he was—Yue had a feeling Syaoran would have felt far better if he had lost. He had never imagined anyone could be so unhappy after succeeding. Between him and Sakura, Syaoran was the one who needed more comfort, but was not getting any.

 _We all need to come to terms._ Even Yue did, even though he was the first one to announce the verdict. In truth, he had not paid much attention to the boy, and the result had been just as shocking to him as it had been to everyone else. The difference between him and Kerberus was, as ever: Kerberus was impulsive, unobservant, and cared only about expressing his own feelings, while Yue had been determined to do what he should and look ahead, pushing past his own misgivings—and saw that Li Syaoran was probably more terrified by the implications than either of the guardians ever could.

 _That alone proves you are worthy of the power you now hold,_ Yue thought.

If only he could convince everyone else, including Yue's own heart.

* * *

"It's going to be alright," Tomoyo said quietly. She was probably even more devastated than Sakura was, having rooted for and fought just as hard beside Sakura to see her triumph. " _Li-kun_ knows that it's not going to be simple, dragging everyone away.  _Kero-chan_ is here…apparently  _Yukito-chan_ is also here, and he still has to finish school. He told  _Kero-chan_ to stay with you. He's not going to just…force them to leave."

"I know." Sakura stared at the dark ceiling, illuminated faintly by the streetlights outside. Every once in a while, a car would turn and its headlights would swing around the corners.

Kero had returned, fuming, with smoke practically coming out of his ears. He spent the next half hour ranting about how impossible Yue was, how even when they were young, even with Clow, he was impossible, he was ridiculous, absurd. Tomoyo tried to figure out what it was that Yue had called him over for, but Kero did not know. He left before this could be conveyed.

"I'm not going back there," he announced. "I'm not going with that  _gaki_."

Sakura had not considered that Kero and Yue would both belong to Li until Kero freaked out in the park. It seemed too late and too futile for tempers to fly now, when the ordeal was over. She had a feeling Li had not considered this either; he seemed more dazed than anything by the end of it, though a  _lot_ of magic seemed to have gone into him when the Final Judgment was over.

There were a lot of things none of them considered. Sakura was honestly not sure how to deal with the sheer disappointment of not even being given the  _chance—_ after all of that, the past year, getting to know this wonderful world; was it really all meaningless? She wanted to be angry, to cry, but she had no idea how to do so with any grace or tact. Despite everything, she knew that none of this was Li's fault.

Li had never lied about his intentions. Was genuine about everything, actually. It was her fault, if anyone's, for not taking him as seriously as she probably should have. And though she wanted someone to blame, even though he was the source of her anguish, she did not want to blame him.

"Stop that," she said to Kero. "You'll hurt his feelings."

She would never have said this a year ago, when Li first came to Tomoeda. She was not sure if she got to know him better or he changed over the year, but where capturing the cards had once been a competition, lately it had been a collaborative effort to keep people from getting hurt in the mayhem. Sakura personally did not focus as much on owning the cards as she was eliminating the immediate threats, and based on the results of tonight, Li might have been the same.

"His feelings?! What about  _my_ feelings? And this whole thing makes no sense. Why would the Clow Cards show up in  _your_ basement if they were meant for  _him?_ Why would Yue be here seven years ago as Tsukishiro? None of this makes sense, I tell you!"

_He's not really making me feel better._

"It might not," Sakura murmured wearily, "but it doesn't matter now."

"I don't want him," Kero drifted back and forth, and he quickly became forlorn. "I don't want to…I don't want him. I want you, Sakura-chan." His ears were down, his head bowed.

"It's going to be alright," Tomoyo soothed, and did so for the rest of the night.

* * *

Syaoran woke in the morning to Tsukishiro shaking his shoulder.

" _Ohayo!_ " the boy exclaimed, looking like this was somehow normal. "If you keep sleeping you'll be late for school."

Despite understanding that Tsukishiro Yukito was the false form of Yue, it was still very unnerving to realize that behind that grinning facade—and Tsukishiro was  _really_ smiling, eyes and all—Yue was there, probably watching everything. Clearly, Yue's false form was not like Kero's, because there was no way for Syaoran to reconcile the cold, inscrutable guardian with whatever Tsukishiro was supposed to be.

" _Arigatou,"_ he managed.

Tsukishiro withdrew. He was wearing his school uniform. "Come on and get dressed. I made breakfast." He retreated out of the room.

 _Alright, so we're doing it this way then,_ Syaoran thought, whatever 'it' and 'this way' were.

Also he did not do his homework.

Today was going to go so well. At least he was relatively certain that Kinomoto did not do hers either. Or Daidouji.

Likely Tsukishiro too. Unless he did it while Syaoran was sleeping. Which he might have, since Syaoran could not imagine  _Yue_ doing it for him.

Syaoran ended up trying to imagine Yue doing high school math as he got dressed. It was so bizarre that he could not stop, even when faced with said guardian in his false form, presenting the eggs and porridge that he did, indeed, prepare, nice and hot.

"Hope you like it," said the teen. "Not sure about your palate."

"How early did you wake up for this?" Syaoran asked. "I didn't mean to make you."

"It's no trouble at all," Yukito dug into his share, as if this was somehow a normal occurrence for the two of them to have breakfast together. "Sleep well?"

 _Sleep…_ which begged the question— _why_ didn't Syaoran do his homework? He did not even remember going to bed. The younger boy frowned.

"I don't remember going to sleep," he said slowly.

"One of those nights, hm?" Tsukishiro winked.

 _This is not okay,_ Syaoran thought. He was sure of it, but he had no idea how to articulate this, nor the reasons why—he had no idea himself. But it sent a strong feeling of unease—Yue could just  _do_ that to him. This was not something a guardian should do to their master.

Not that Syaoran wanted to be  _that_ kind of master, but…it occurred to him that if the two of them really hated him, they could actually kill him.

"Li-san?" Tsukishiro inquired, looking faintly concerned.

" _Gomen nasai,_ " Syaoran murmured. "I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing important."

"Hm," Tsukishiro took a bite, dismissing the matter. Syaoran had no idea if Yue was saving a conversation for later— _and it's still so **weird** —_but at least he deflected the matter for now. 

* * *

School went well, all things considered. It turned out, Daidouji and Kinomoto did do their homework, probably because Kero did not put them to sleep. Terada was not pleased with Syaoran, but he also did not mention anything to the rest of the class, and seemed to accept Syaoran's excuse ("I was sick last night") with some understanding, even though Syaoran was unable to produce a note from a parent to confirm. He even called Syaoran at the end of class to ask if he was feeling better, and to assure him that he would not be penalized for this ("You're a good student, and I know it would have taken a lot for this to happen"), though he would not be given such grace again.

Kinomoto avoided Syaoran, which was both a little unexpected and just fine by him. He had been prepared to follow her lead, and though it was surprising that she should not want to interact at all, it spared him the pressure of reacting appropriately. He avoided her in turn, figuring that they both needed some time apart to come to terms.

Syaoran still needed to call his mother, to try to convince her to let him stay in Japan for a little while longer. At least over the summer, and then…

 _Take Yue and Keroberus home to Hong Kong?_ He tried to imagine that. The thought of tearing them from the people they loved made him feel sick, especially since  _he_ was the one responsible.

Maybe he could leave them here. They did not want him anyway.

_But the cards need their guardians._

That was the rub.

He was distracted all morning, but when the time came for lunch, he looked out across the yard to see the Kinomotos, Daidouji, and Tsukishiro hanging out by the fence, and all of the sudden he realized that he had absolutely no idea what Yue intended to do that afternoon. Syaoran would have just gone about his business as normal, but nothing about this is normal anymore. He was a Card Master, and Tsukishiro was an immortal magical guardian, bound to protect his cards. Though Yue seemed content to live separate from Kinomoto, that was before the Final Judgment.

Was Tsukishiro going to move in with Syaoran?

 _No._ Syaoran was not ready to face that yet. He spent the remainder of the afternoon anxious and uneasy, to the point where Yamazaki inquired if he was still feeling unwell. Syaoran was not even sure how he should answer this.

When the bell finally rang, Syaoran packed his bag in record time and sped out of the classroom without talking to anyone. He was the first one in the hall, first one to the door, and the first one through the door. So he ran headfirst into Kinomoto Touya.

The collision was so brutal, Syaoran actually bounced back and fell to the ground.

" _Hoe!_ " Kinomoto exclaimed, echoing his sister for the first time since Syaoran met him. " _Kami-sama, gaki,_ what on earth do you think you're doing?"

Syaoran jumped to his feet, though the fall had hurt quite badly. "What does it look like, genius? I'm trying to go home! What are  _you_ doing, blocking the doorway?"

"Are you alright?" Tsukishiro asked from behind Kinomoto, and Syaoran felt his stomach drop.

"I'm fine." If he slipped past fast enough, he might be able to dodge Tsukishiro altogether and still make it back home alone. The plan was easier thought than done, because his limbs were starting to feel enervated, and almost separate from himself.

Kinomoto glared, unimpressed, but stated, "You're turning really pale."

"I'm fine," Syaoran repeated, and managed to brush past.

Down the steps and to the side of the school grounds, Syaoran started feeling a little lightheaded, and thought he might pass out. He was not sure why—he had fallen before, but for some reason the pain from this one lingered and seemed to solidify into a solid presence. He was forced to slow, and then stop, hoping the feeling would pass.

_"Seriously, Yuki, he was clearly in a hurry—"_

_"I just want to make sure, To-ya."_

Tsukishiro materialized next to Syaoran. " _Li-san?_ Are you feeling alright? I think you should sit down. Come."

He took Syaoran by the elbow, and Syaoran could not even resist. At this point, he was not sure if it was from the fall or from the deep, profound wish to sink into the ground. There was a bench, which Tsukishiro sat Syaoran down in, and guided the boy so that he was eventually reclining flat.

The elder Kinomoto loomed over him. "His lips are blue," he noted.

"You should probably consider sumo wrestling," Tsukishiro teased.

"Right, because compared to ten-year-old kids, I'm a wall. That would really impress them."

"Well you're tall enough. All you have to do is eat ten times as much."

"You mean eat as much as you?"

By this time, Kinomoto Sakura and Daidouji had come out.

 _"Hoe!"_ the younger Kinomoto exclaimed. " _Li-kun_ , are you alright? What happened?"

Syaoran was starting to feel well enough to sit up, but what was the point? He might as well just die here.

"He looks white," said Daidouji.

"He fell pretty hard," said Tsukishiro.

More people were streaming out of the school, and Syaoran decided he needed to sit up before he became a school-wide spectacle.

"Slowly—"Tsukishiro began, but Syaoran ignored him.

"Well his lips aren't blue anymore," the elder Kinomoto drawled.

"I'm fine," Syaoran said, yet again. "I need to go home."

"You sure?" the teenage brunette asked skeptically.

"I'll take him home," said Tsukishiro, which was exactly the opposite of what Syaoran had wanted.

"We can all go," Kinomoto Sakura offered.

" _Iie_ , I'm fine," Syaoran protested. "You all have better things to do."

"I don't think that's necessary.  _To-ya_ , I'll see you tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"Listen—" Syaoran started.

"I think I can take care of a ten-year-old boy,  _To-ya._ I've taken care of  _Sakura-chan._ "

"I don't need taking—"

"But didn't you have that errand for your grandparents?"

"It's on the way."

Syaoran gave up.

He barely noticed Kinomoto telling him she hoped he would feel better, or Daidouji echoing. Somehow, he and Tsukishiro made it to his apartment without him being aware of most of the journey. He came to fully to find himself sitting on the couch while Tsukishiro puttered in the kitchen.

He was trying to reconcile the ever-smiling teen with the aloof guardian when the subject of his thoughts came out—in his true form.

"You need to bond with the cards," said Yue.

Syaoran knew this, of course, but though the magic pulled at him, he could not bring himself to move.

After a moment, the guardian approached.

"Why do you hesitate?" he asked, coming to a stop in front of the boy.

Syaoran shifted, folding his arms so that he was hugging himself. He did not know how to answer.

"I would have expected you to be happier," Yue noted. "You behave as if you lost. Did you not want the Clow Cards?"

"Of course I did," Syaoran said numbly. "I knew of them my entire life. The legacy of Clow Reed."

"Then why are you so upset?"

Syaoran looked at Yue then. He was not sure how to confide in him, this angelic being with the silver glow and eyes that betrayed nothing of his thoughts.

After a pause, Yue murmured, "You feel unworthy."

Syaoran sank down a little before he could catch himself.

"You passed the Final Judgment."

"There's more to it though, isn't there?" Syaoran pointed out, finally finding his words. "It's not just about knowing how to use the cards. I was always better than Kinomoto at that. But it's also about knowing when, and to be honest, I think she's better there than me. And the Final Judgment didn't gauge that."

To this, Yue was crushingly silent.

* * *

Yukito showed up at the Kinomoto residence at what was probably one of the worst possible time. Fujitaka was actually home with his children for once, having finally met with one of his rare breaks in-between expeditions. Earlier that afternoon, Sonomi also had one of those incredibly rare days when she was able to leave work hours before her usual time, and came over early in the evening to pick Tomoyo up from the Kinomoto residence in order to take her daughter out to dinner. Neither adult actually expected the other to be present, which led to awkward fumbling, Sonomi admitting to not having dinner ready at home, and the disastrous consequence of Fujitaka inviting Sonomi and Tomoyo to dine with his family, in order to maintain courtesies.

Sonomi adored Sakura and Touya, and the children were fond of their aunt, but putting Sonomi and Fujitaka together in one place was always asking for trouble. Even though they reconciled somewhat after the absurd swimming race through the Flower Card's shenanigans, that did not mean their feelings toward each other warmed very much. Just because Sonomi acknowledged that Fujitaka was not to blame for Nadeshiko's tragic death did not mean she had to like him, and Fujitaka, for all his patience and kind temperament, did not like his cousin-in-law either. Sakura, Tomoyo, and Touya were all mentally writhing in mutual agony while the parents repeatedly stuffed their feet in their mouths. The last thing they needed was another person to maintain appearances in front of, and then Yukito rang the doorbell.

Touya, being the eldest of the juniors and the one with the least tolerance for this sort of nonsense, practically bolted from the table to escape from the ordeal.

" _Kami-sama,_ " he exclaimed when he saw who it was, and instantly slipped outside before Yukito could have a chance to enter. He closed the door behind him. " _Yuki-san_ , I am dying here. Literally, just kill me."

" _Nan desu ka?_ " Yukito exclaimed, bewildered.

" _Oba-san_ is here.  _Otou-san_ invited her to dinner."

" _Hunghhhh_ —alright,  _ano_ —"

"I think I'm going to stay out here for as long as possible. If they ask I can just say that I've taken up smoking."

"Not worth it,  _To-ya._ "

"It's  _torture._ "

"I need to go inside."

" _Nani?!_ Why?"

"I have to talk to  _Sakura-san_ in private."

Touya's eyes narrowed. "What business do you have with my sister?"

Yukito heaved a sigh. "It's about the boy,  _Li-san_."

"Oh. You're joking. What does my sister have to do with him?"

"Well, they go to the same school, attend the same classes, so they have a lot to do with each other."

"What's wrong?" Touya did not let up, and then in a low voice, "Is he really that hurt?"

" _Iie;_ he's much better now. At least from that. But I want to talk to her about this.  _Onegai?_ "

The brunette groaned. "Fine. But do you have to go in right now? If you go in now I have to go in now."

Yukito chuckled. " _To-ya._ "

"Seriously!"

"Your aunt is not so bad."

"My aunt is not so bad. My dad is not so bad. But few things are worse than the two of them together. Yuki,  _iie!_ "

But Yukito already went in.

Sakura handled the dinner with a little more grace than her brother, though even she looked rattled.

"What did you need to talk to me about,  _Yukito-san?_ " she asked hopefully, as soon as they were upstairs and out of earshot.

Yue turned away from her. "I actually need to speak with Kerberus. Is he in your room?"

"Oh…" Sakura looked startled, then a little crestfallen. " _Hai._ He's hiding out for now."

"You may remain upstairs if you wish," said Yue, "but I'd like go to into the room alone, with your permission."

"Oh," said Sakura.

Kerberus was playing a video game on Sakura's computer.

"I'm not leaving," said the sun guardian without taking his eyes off the screen. "I bet the  _gaki_ doesn't even have video-games."

"Did you know he got hurt today?"

"He ran into the elder Kinomoto and fell over. Big deal."

"He's been out of sorts," Yue paused. "You need to give him a chance."

"Not much difference is there?" Kerberus fumed. "Not like  _I_ have a choice."

"You can blame me for this, but the child is blameless. He broke no rules and no vows. He never promised to hold back to allow Sakura to win. He had no obligation to refuse to become Card Master."

"Sure, it's no one's fault. Doesn't mean this doesn't  _stink_ like  _rot._ " The smaller guardian mashed on a key. "And sure, you're alright with it; he's only been ogling you ever since coming here. He didn't call you stupid names and pretend that you're nothing."

"He's not the most tactful child," Yue agreed.

"That's the understatement of the year."

"That doesn't mean he is a bad person by any means. It's been a night and a day and he hasn't bonded with the cards. He's anxious that he wouldn't be a good Card Master."

"Well  _too bleeding late_ , isn't it? He should have thought of that before coming to Japan. Little  _gaki_ should have just stayed home."

"There are many things we all should have done, but there are certain things we should be doing  _now_ —"

"Why? Why bother? No one ever does what they should do, so why should I?"

 "There is more to him than you admit," said Yue, "and instead of asking why the cards came to Tomoeda to find Kinomoto if she was not meant to be Card Mistress, maybe you should ask why he was chosen as Card Master despite the cards coming to Sakura."

"Well that one is easy. You chose him, for some absurd reason."

"He passed. It's not so hard to grasp."

"Well, curious, that, isn't it?"

"Whatever the case, he needs to bond with the cards."

"Well he's such a smarty, he can figure it out. You can even help him, since you seem to be in love with the brat."

Yue clenched his teeth. "What do you hope to accomplish, clinging to the past? Do you think you are doing Sakura any favors? She needs to come to terms as much as all of us, and you're not helping."

Kerberus finally stopped. "I can't, alright?" he snapped. He looked at Yue with the gravest expression the moon guardian had ever seen him wear. "I can't. I hate him. I've never hated anything as much as I hate him right now. I'll get over it, but I can't stand the sight of him right now, alright? So as long as  _His Worship_ isn't summoning me, I'm not going, or else I swear, I will burn his face off."

Yue knew his fellow guardian well enough to realize when he was being absolutely serious.

 _He is a good child,_ he wanted to say.  _In many ways he is better suited than Sakura. He is more thoughtful, more aware of his own flaws. He cares as much as she does. He just is not good at expressing himself._

But Kerberus did not want to listen to this now.

Yukito left.


	3. Disturbance through Space

Sakura dreamed.

She saw a tall wall made of stone, covered in a network of vines. A Chinese woman sat in front, sewing. She was old, with white hair and a wrinkled countenance. Next to her sat a little lamb. Above, stormy clouds rolled, but there was no rain.

Clow Reed materialized from behind Sakura, though he did not acknowledge her. He stepped to the woman, who did not look up. Coming to a halt right in front, he appeared to wait, before realizing he would have to speak first.

 _"I've completed it,"_ he said. His words sounded muffled, though Sakura could understand him.

 _"I see,"_ said the woman.

_"I wish for your blessing."_

She looked up. She was a beautiful woman once, Sakura saw. A noble nose and keen, sharp eyes. Even now, she had that graceful beauty that some old women have, one that was not youthful but weathered and grand.

She inserted her needle into her work and set it aside.

 _"My son,"_ she said quietly,  _"of course you have my blessing."_

It started to rain. The old Chinese woman was no longer there. Clow stood in his cloak, the rain parting above him as if an invisible umbrella were shielding him. Somehow, Sakura knew that his mother had died, that she had jumped forward in time. He was alone at first, but then another figure materialized next to him; a young man, black hair shorn short with a hood falling off his head. Clutched in his hand was the Book.

 _"It is time,"_ he told Clow.

 _"The future is always changing,"_ Clow said without looking at him.  _"I worry for them."_

_"For whom?"_

_"For those who would inherit these,"_ Clow looked down and to the side to gaze at the Book.  _"Small difference, between a blessing and a curse."_

Sakura woke, feeling disoriented and confused. She was quiet through breakfast, turning over the vision in her head to no avail. It had the feel of her regular premonitions, but it made less sense than any she had ever had. It got to the point where her brother grew concerned.

"You're being quiet today,  _kaijuu_ ," he noted. "What did Yuki talk to you about yesterday?"

" _Hoe?_ Oh, nothing."

Touya's eyes narrowed. "Nothing? Not about that  _gaki?_ "

Sakura shrugged. It occurred to her that she should actually talk to Li today, but she was not ready to talk  _about_ him.

Touya studied her for a moment. He appeared to come to some decision, but let the matter go for now.

At school, Li was there early, as usual. Sakura arrived with only a minute to spare, and Terada was already in the front, preparing his notes.

"You," Li tapped the back of her chair, "I need to talk to you later."

 _To me or to Kero-chan?_ Sakura wondered unhappily. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked. "I should have called yesterday to check on you, but…"  _that's a long story…_

He waved it off. "I'm fine."

During the mid-morning break, Li actually moved to lean against her desk while the other students dispersed to use the bathroom or talk with their friends.

"I spoke to my mother yesterday," he announced to her in a low voice. "We decided that I was going to stay in Tomoeda for another year."

Sakura blinked. "Oh."

"You need to learn to control your own magic, even if you don't own the cards," he went on, "and the guardians have ties here. I have nothing pressing at home, so I can stay and help."

"Oh." She was a little floored by this. "… _Arigatou._ That's wonderful." She managed an authentic smile. "I'm glad you're staying."

"Come over to my place tomorrow. You already know how to sense magic, so we can try casting some actual spells."

Despite herself, Sakura was intrigued. "I will." She looked at him, feeling somewhat hopeful.

 _It's something to move on to._ Not to mention, this mean Li was staying another year, and she would not have to say goodbye to a friend.

_Or a number of friends._

* * *

"So," Touya began when he accosted Yukito after the bell rang for lunch, "it occurs to me that you and my sister are both acting  _really_ weird."

"Uh…"

"So is that  _gaki_ , and I'm trying  _really_ hard to come up with a sane explanation as to what could involve the three of you." Touya paused. "Or four.  _Tomoyo-san_ practically counts as the  _kaijuu_ though."

"My friend, there's nothing that involves all four of us," Yukito laughed. "Least of all  _Li-san_. Your sister is a sweetheart and  _Daidouji-san_ isn't too shabby either, but they're fourth graders."

He swung his backpack over his shoulder and slid past Touya to leave the classroom. Touya followed.

" _Iie,_ I'm fairly certain something happened like, two nights ago, or something, because the following day all of you were acting like someone died."

Yukito turned to make a face at him. " _Nani?_ Did not!"

"So you admit it!"

"Admit  _what?_ You're being ridiculous,  _To-ya_."

"You're ridiculous," Touya grumbled, unsure what to make of a stubborn Yukito. "Seriously though, did something happen?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"You seem troubled lately."

"Well, I might be coming down with something."

"…It's May. It's past the flu season."

"Doesn't mean you can't still catch a cold."

"True."

They headed outside, as the weather was warm and sunny.

"We have seven months until we have to take the university entrance exam," Yukito mused.

"Shut up."

"How have you been doing?"

Touya did not want to say. "Why would I jinx myself? I still have seven months to fail."

"You won't fail. You're too cool to fail."

"Somehow I don't think the schools would care very much if I'm cool."

"You know in America, colleges look at things like school grades and extracurricular activities? They look at whether people play sports and stuff. How fat and lazy must the American kids be if playing sports is considered 'special'?"

"Well if Kyoto University would switch to looking at sports instead, I'd be alright with it."

"You're really fixated on Kyoto in particular," Yukito noted.

"Kyoto is beautiful. I honestly don't know what the fuss is about with Tokyo. It's so crowded and crazy."

"But it has everything."

"it's utter chaos. I'd live in a shoebox."

Yukito snorted. "You'd live in a shoebox at any of the dorms. It's not like they're going to give you a  _house_."

"But at least Kyoto is pretty to look at. Tokyo is noisy, everyone wants to go there and stink up the place."

"Spoken like a true rebel," Yukito teased, "rejecting convention and going against the crowd. I can see it now: Kinomoto Touya, making Japan great again."

"Well which college would  _you_ choose?"

Yukito twisted his lip in thought. "I haven't dared consider. I was thinking about maybe studying abroad, though."

Touya blinked. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking about it lately."

 _That's not what's troubling you._ "I never pinned you down for someone who would be interested in such a thing."

"I know. It's surprising to me too." Yukito shrugged. "I'll have to see how I do on the test, though."

"Well where would you go?" Touya asked. "America? You know their food tastes horrible there."

Yukito laughed, a little awkwardly. "Un. I was thinking…a little closer to home than that. I mean, the National Taiwan University is one of ours, basically."

"Minus all the Taiwanese people," Touya scowled, suspicion rising, but it made too little sense to articulate out loud.

"Since when did you have something against the Taiwanese?"

"I have nothing against the Taiwanese, except maybe that _gaki_."

"He's from Hong Kong."

"Alright so he's from Hong Kong. Then I have nothing against the Taiwanese, since I've apparently never met one."

It was Yukito's turn to frown. "You seem a lot more bothered by this than I thought you would be."

"Well I didn't realize my best friend wants to move out of the country altogether," Touya pointed out. "I mean it's a great college, it's definitely a good option, but it's in  _Taiwan._ "

"Well if you get into Kyoto and I get into Taiwan, we can still crush you at the Athletic Meet."

"Oh please, Kyoto would wipe the floor with you. What does Taiwan have that Kyoto doesn't? Besides all the Taiwanese students."

"Like two thousand varieties of pork buns?" Yukito raised his eyebrows. "They have a fantastic restaurant there, serves like a million of these things."

"Oh," Touya exclaimed, instantly feeling better. "You're going there for  _that?_ The world makes sense again."

* * *

 In the afternoon, Syaoran got home to find Yue leaning against the wall by the window, facing the door out of the apartment.

Syaoran stared for a moment, and then dropped his groceries to the ground so he could remove his shoes.

"I'm alright, I swear," he told the guardian. "I appreciate your concern, if that's why you're here, but I know you must have other plans for the weekend; I don't want you to feel obligated to come here all the time. Tsukishiro has a house, Kinomoto likes to hang out with you, it's…really fine."

"Are you kicking me out?" Yue asked flatly.

" _Iie,_ " Syaoran replied instantly, though a second later he wondered if he would have liked to do so if it were not absolutely rude. "I just meant…" he trailed, and then wondered if he should just give up.

"You need to bond with the cards," said Yue, after a moment of silence. "The longer you wait, the more unstable they will become. They might escape the book to cause havoc again, and it would be harder to capture them than the first time."

Syaoran looked in the direction of the book, lying on the table, quiescent. Somehow, initiating any sort of bonding process felt wrong, presumptuous.

Though he wondered if this was how to get rid of Yue.

"Child," the guardian moved away from the wall. Syaoran allowed him to approach. As he did, Yue knelt down on one knee to be at eye level with Syaoran.

 _He is very tall,_ Syaoran mused absently.

"Clow Reed created these cards when he was a full grown man, meant for fully-grown men to use," Yue pointed out. "Whatever your misgivings, I can assure you that you will not be who you are ten years from now. You had passed the Final Judgment. You have the ability. Wisdom can only come with time, and neither you nor Kinomoto Sakura are as wise as you will be. Right now, the cards need a master most of all."

It would have been reassuring if Yue had said this yesterday.

 _Well I have no choice do I?_ Syaoran looked at the book again.  _It's do or don't. Might as well get it over with._

* * *

He took the book and moved to the center of the room, sitting down on the floor on his knees. It was quiet in his hands, almost inert. But the clasp was warm, and as he opened the book, the cards fluttered and drifted up and out.

The first card was Windy, eyes closed and arms crossed. It spun once, floating into place in front of Syaoran's face. Kinomoto's first card, Syaoran remembered; the one card she had not needed to capture. 

He heard a whisper over his ears.  _Are you there?_

Starting, he looked to the right, where Yue was leaning on the wall, facing away from him. Yue also snapped his head around as soon as Syaoran's gaze was upon him.

"What did you do?" the guardian demanded.

Windy was still floating in place, as the other cards drifted aimlessly behind it. Syaoran looked at the card instead of answering him.

 _I am here,_ he directed his thought.

 _Ah, good,_ he heard, and then something stabbed into his right eye.

He saw a man in black robes. Around him were brick walls that stretched high up to form a vaulted ceiling. In his left hand was an orb of pale white light, and in his right was a staff, topped with an iridescent sphere. The orb illuminated the walls, which were painted in magnificent colors. Chinese, Syaoran noted. Scenes of boats, journeying across winding rivers lined with willow trees. A hunt through a forest and what looked like a peng in the sky. Courtesans danced and played music, and on the ceiling, the stars spun around celestials dancing above the clouds.

The hall was silent and still. No creak, no drip of water, no hiss of air. The man led the way forward, and Syaoran, the unnoticed observer, trailed behind. The sorcerer guided him past the amazing artwork, the tapestries beside the murals, scrolls of poems hanging on the walls. After some time, they arrived at a chamber, where more scenes surrounded them: lotuses and water lilies, mythical beasts, gods in heaven dining with fairies clad in glittering gold and gleaming jade.

At the center was a sarcophagus.

 _This is a tomb!_ Syaoran looked around in wonder. This must be the tomb of some king or prince. No ordinary man or woman would have such a mausoleum.

The man waved his staff, and the lid went flying off. Syaoran jumped as it hit the far wall with a thunderous clang that echoed on and on, loud enough to wake the dead. He jumped again when another lid went, and another, each one sailing through the air more violently than the last, until the last one flat-out splintered into two pieces. Heart hammering, he stared at the discarded lids while the man peered inside the coffin.

Then the man spoke.

 _"Child of Lightning,"_ he murmured.  _"What a waste."_

He reached in and grabbed, pulling out a child-sized corpse by the neck. Unlike the rest of the tomb, it was clad in robes that had faded so that the colors were an undefinable in-between brown, gray, and white. A book fell from the body's folded arms, desiccated and dark. In the light of the orb, Syaoran recognized it as the Clow Book.

The clasp of it opened and all at once, out came a howling demoness, with a hideous, rotting face, a balding head with wisps of hair that was dark with necrotic tissue, and eyes as red as blood. Her mouth opened and released an ear-splitting shriek—

Syaoran opened his eyes. He had no idea when he closed them. With a mental shove, he gathered all the cards and slammed them back in the book. They released a pulse of magic in surprise, more startled than upset, though once he pressed the clasp closed, he could feel some tendrils of hurt and indignation mixing in with bewilderment.

 _I'm sorry,_ he thought, unsure if they could sense his apology through the shield of the book. If they could, they did not respond.

"What happened?" Yue pushed from the wall to approach. Syaoran jumped to his feet to back away, keeping his distance. When the guardian saw this, he stopped.

Syaoran swallowed. "That was Windy." His voice sounded feeble, and it took great effort to squeeze the words out from lungs that seemed suddenly empty of air. His words wavered though he did not will it, and he realized his whole body was shaking. His eye hurt, and he held up his right hand to press it against the aching globe. "That." The rotten-faced demoness. It even had tattered feathers. Windy was not supposed to have such a disposition. "It was Windy."

He did not see the face of the body. Probably would not recognize it even if he knew the corpse. He did not recognize the man; he never saw his face either. But he knew that this was supposed to take place in the distant future, perhaps centuries from now. And he knew that this event would not have come to pass if Kinomoto had become Card Mistress.

"What did you see?" Yue asked.

 _Oh heavens, he doesn't **know**? _ Syaoran's mouth went dry. He swallowed once, then twice, but could not bring forth more words.

 _I can't bond with the cards._ He could not turn Windy into _that_. Windy, the beautiful fairy that glided on air and gently gathered other cards to her. Kinomoto's favorite.

"What did you see?" Yue repeated. "Tell me."

Syaoran turned away. He put the book back on the desk, then withdrew quickly to his bedroom.

Yue did not follow.

* * *

_The Windy._

It was the girl's first card, supposedly. Now it was the boy's first card to be bonded to, but Yue had never seen anything like what had happened. Windy was dangerous when provoked; tempests could kill as much as any conflagration. Yet she was not the sort to harm an innocent child. Even if the boy had the wrong approach, which did not seem to be the case, Windy would have went along with it.

The cards were unhappy. He could sense it even while they were in the book. He had attributed it to their reaction to Li Syaoran's overall unhappiness and the lack of bond, because they did not seem  _resentful._ If anything, they were behaving themselves more than he expected. Up until Windy came forward, they had seemed normal and complacent, the most rebellious of them still peaceful and relatively content, patiently waiting their turn. Many of them needed to bond with Li Syaoran because he had not been the one to capture them, but he was still involved in some way, so they were familiar with him. They did not seem to disapprove.

 _It had hurt the boy._ Specifically in his right eye. When the card hovered in front of him, it had glowed and sent white energy right into that right pupil. Though why…that, Yue could not determine. He had never seen anything like it before. Li Syaoran was the first master after Clow Reed, but the guardian sensed that this was not supposed to happen.

The boy was subdued in his room. Yue felt a flash of anger for the first time since his first quarrel with Kero. The boy passed the Final Judgment fair and square. Why was he encountering all these obstacles? Kerberus, Yue could understand; that was of the child's own making, when he was uncivil and dismissive in the beginning, and never changed his ways. But the cards—though Li Syaoran had many flaws, he had never disrespected the cards themselves, nor dismissed the responsibility they posed. His trouble with coming to terms with his new role had nothing to do with underestimating the power of the cards, and everything to do with the simple change in perspective that such a development necessitated.

The cards fell under Yue and Kerberus' influence, and Windy was definitely Yue's. He would have answers.

He opened the book. The cards remained in place, with Windy on top. The boy's subconscious command kept them locked inside the book, even with the cover open.

Yue did not need them to leave.

"Windy," he commanded, "show me what you did to the master."

He was met with a surge of dismay. The cards could react to emotion, but they were not truly sentient, and had little understanding of why these emotions were provoked. The Windy had no idea why it would distress someone, only that it did. This was appropriate, as the cards should not allow their own preferences to influence their duties. Yet they should respond to their master's instincts, so that spells could be cast without conscious thought. It was a design choice Clow Reed made intentionally.

The Windy lit up at Yue's command, and white light curled out, making contact with Yue's forehead.

 _No, that is not what happened,_ Yue told it.  _You hit his eye. His right eye._

But when the Windy did adjust its aim, nothing happened. There was no pain. Certainly no vision, and then it dimmed, with Yue feeling unchanged.

He was not the master. Whatever had happened was more because of the boy than because of the card.

"Show me what he saw," He told the card.

But the card merely pulsed helplessly from within the book. It actually had no idea what vision the boy received.

 _Something else is going on._ Yue shut the book.  _Something outside of the Clow Cards._ Something to do with Li Syaoran himself.  _But what can it be?_

_Does it have something to do with why the cards came to Tomoeda instead of Hong Kong?_

* * *

Saturday morning, after breakfast, Sakura rollerbladed down the street with her backpack full of her homework materials.

"I am really excited," she said, coming to a stop in front of the Daidouji residence. " _Li-kun_ had been practicing magic long before when the cards escaped. I bet he knows all sort of tricks. And I've never done magic without the cards before. I think it will be very nice. It's not like I need to be the most powerful sorceress or something; I just want a good life, you know?"

"Mm," Kero muttered noncommittally. He had a few thoughts about that, but what could he say to a ten-year-old?

Tomoyo came out soon after, hair braided and wearing a bright yellow dress. Her mother, as usual, was at work, leaving the girl to say good-bye to the butlers and maids only. The day was bright and sunny and warm. Sakura and Tomoyo were both in good spirits, and despite himself, Kero was feeling less grouchy than he had been for the past couple of days.

The brat, on the other hand, looked terrible. Kero had not seen him since the Final Judgment, and the guardian found himself shocked and somewhat worried when the boy opened the door to the apartment. He was pale and wan, his lower lids looked so dark they appeared bruised, and he almost seemed to have been crying all night instead of sleeping.

Actually, he was still crying. Specifically from the right eye, which did not look red, but did appear slightly swollen around the lids, and constantly filled up with water. He pressed a tissue gingerly over it every few seconds, but it would just well up over and over again.

Sakura and Tomoyo were stunned speechless.

" _Li-kun,_ " Sakura hesitated, trying to find a tactful way to express her concern. "Is everything alright?"

"Something just got into my eye," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. If he had not looked as ghastly as he did, Kero would have felt more at ease. He stepped to the side to allow the girls passage. "I should be fine. Come in."

"Maybe you should visit a doctor," Tomoyo suggested.

"That would be a waste of time," the boy dismissed, turning around to lead the way inside.

He did not acknowledge Kero, possibly because he did not see him. Kero chose to let this one slide. The girls exchanged a glance, before taking off their shoes. Tomoyo entered the living room first.

"You have a nice place,  _Li-kun._ Oh!"

The last one was an exclamation of surprise.

Sakura, startled, finished placing her shoes and joined Tomoyo.

" _Hoe!_ Ah,  _Yue-san!_ I didn't…realize you'll also be here."

Yue was leaning against the wall with his arms folded. In the sunlight, he almost seemed to blend in with the rest of the wall, which was absent of any decorations. He seemed uninterested in interacting with the guests, and in a flash of insight, Kero wondered if this was why Yue felt such a connection with the boy: they were both stone-cold machines.

"He's been staying with the  _gaki_ ," Kero lifted off from Sakura's shoulder.

"At least one of us should," Yue replied coldly.

"Whatever."

On mutual agreement, it was decided that the children would complete their homework before getting into magic, as magic would inevitably be much more interesting than homework. Kero was then subjected to the odd sight of Yue in the kitchen—it should not have come as a surprise, considering that Yue's false form does little else except eat, and Tsukishiro needed to produce that food from somewhere. Still, Kero had never seen his fellow guardian do anything culinary before, and could not help but be tickled by this.

"Do you make him breakfast, lunch, and dinner?"

"He's not comfortable with me. I allow Tsukishiro to do that, though he is not very comfortable with him either."

"Of course not. No one is comfortable with you."

Yue did not dignify this with a response.

"Seriously though," Kero muttered in a lower voice, "I'm not keen on him, but what happened? Did you two run into some kind of trouble yesterday?"  _That I did not help with?_ Kero had not sensed anything, but then he had not been trying to.

Yue gave him a slightly reproachful look, but chose to ignore the fact that Kero had been ignoring his duties. "The Windy hurt him somehow."

"The  _Windy?_ " Kero blinked, baffled. Windy was the nicest of the cards. Though he wanted to say that it might be a sign of some sort, he managed to rein the words in; even if that were true, it was still very strange.

"Not intentionally," said Yue, "but he received a vision and it frightened him. It also hurt his right eye, which has not stopped hurting since, as you could see."

"A vision?"  _That's even weirder._ "Windy doesn't grant visions."

"Indeed," said Yue, "and I do not know what he saw. Only that it might have had something to do with Windy itself. I did not manage to pry it out of him, and I was not able to reproduce the incident."

"Windy falls under your domain. If you can't do it, neither can I."

"I know. But whatever happened, has more to do with the boy than with the cards. The cards were equally upset, Windy most of all."

"Well, that's the only thing so far that makes any sort of sense."

Yue started chopping. "He shoved the cards back in the book and hasn't touched them since. Would not even look at them."

Kero watched the blade.  _Chop chop chop._

" _Ano_ …" The boy had poked his head into the kitchen from the side. His right eye was still watering, and tears splattered right under the lower lid. "Are you two alright? Do you need me to help?"

Kero had never seen the kid look so meek and awkward. He was looking at both of them too, not just Yue. It suddenly occurred to him that this was what Yue had been trying to tell him. The boy was clearly very uncomfortable at the thought of the guardians serving him.

"He's making it for us," Kero declared. "If you want food, you'll have to make it yourself."

The boy blinked. "Oh. Do you need any help?"

" _Iie,_ " Yue responded. "Go finish your homework."

"Oh. Alright then." Clearly reassured, he withdrew.

Kero stared at the place he had been. After a moment, Yue resumed chopping.

"Stupid boy," said the moon guardian in a low voice. "He actually believed you."

Kero suddenly felt terrible.

"He and I have been fighting over chores," Yue went on.  _Chop chop chop._ "He is not use to anyone taking care of him. Based on what Sakura had told Yukito, he came from a wealthy household with servants, so this is surprising to me."

"Probably thought you would ruin things. I'm surprised you know how to use that thing."

"He managed to outsmart me yesterday, even with that eye."

"How did Windy hurt his eye?"  _That's a random target._

"That was how they bonded."

"…Through his eye?"  _This is getting more and more bizarre._

Yue conveyed that Li Syaoran was now bonded with one of the forty-four cards he had not captured, which was a start, though nowhere near what he needed, especially since it seemed like the boy would be even more reluctant to bond with the rest.

"What a mess," Kero concluded. "One step forward, forty-three steps back. And Windy too. Odd."

"My guess is there are external forces at play."

"Two days after the Final Judgment? That's too quick."

"The cards had been released for almost a year," Yue pointed out, "and while you and I have become intimately familiar with Sakura's abilities, we know relatively little about Li Syaoran's outside of what he uses to subdue the cards. We do not know how his abilities react with the cards either; he has never used the cards against each other, the way Sakura has."

 _That's a good point,_ Kero conceded. Part of the reason everyone was so shocked by the results of the Final Judgment was because no one had any idea how the boy would have used the cards against Yue, because he had never used the cards, ever.

"We cannot force him to bond with the cards, not if doing so hurts him," said Yue, "and we cannot assume that he cannot bond with them at all, because he was able to capture his own cards without issue."

"So we need to figure out why this is hurting him."

Yue set down the knife.

"Hmmmm…" Kero rubbed his chin.

 


	4. Inquiries

_Magic,_ Sakura decided,  _is **amazing**_ **.**

She never paid much attention to Li's spellcasting before. They were always in the midst of some crisis, whether it was The Sand wrecking havoc, or Time turning it backwards. In between, they were always trying to proceed as usual, keeping their secrets safe and balancing their daily tasks at the same time.

But casting with her own magic was different from casting with the cards. The cards always felt like an alien presence, one that would obey her commands but was not part of herself. Li showed her how to tap into her own aura, to instill her will into the words she spoke, and she felt the world respond.

They started small, but "flashy", as Li had called it, dabbing at his right eye with his hundredth tissue. Having seen what she had, Sakura would not call floating a crumpled piece of paper "flashy", but she supposed there were more subtle spells.

"There are many ways one can lift a piece of paper," Li began, with Tomoyo watching from the side. "You can pick it up, physically. You can use air to blow it upwards, and a vacuum on top to suction. You can change the properties of paper so that it is buoyant and floats, like a piece of wood in water. There are others that are even faster, but the easiest way right now is to pick it up, and we'll practice on more suitable objects. This time, though, we're going to use the air."

"Like Windy?"

Li hesitated. "Like Windy. It's not the best way, nor even the most straightforward, but it's the easiest technique to grasp in the beginning. Now, the air has a lot of entities contributing to it. You need to get them all to cooperate with you. That's where your magic comes in. With the Clow Cards, the Windy is an avatar that is independent of the rest of the wind spirits, so you don't need to pay tribute. On your own, however, you need to pay your respects, at least in the beginning when you've never influenced the forces of wind before."

"What do you mean by pay your respects?" Sakura asked. "Like to a wind god or something?"

"Not exactly. They're not sentient like you or me, but they respond to will, and paying your respects often helps you focus on your purpose. They're not insentient either, but somewhere in between." Li paused. "It's hard to explain, but it's kind of like how a person has more cognitive ability than an insect, which has more cognitive ability than something like a plant. We're all alive, but we have different levels of consciousness. The powers that make up the air and wind are similar, in that they can react to a person's will and emotions, but you don't communicate with them. You do have to acknowledge them, however."

Sakura nodded. "I think I understand what you mean." And she did, in an odd way, though she would not be able to explain it to someone else.

He had a writing brush, a well of black ink, and a cup of water. As he spoke, he produced a blank piece of yellow paper, flattening it on the table.

"This is your spell paper," Tomoyo realized.

" _Hai."_

"You write your own cards?" Sakura blinked.

Li dabbed at his eye. "You can't reuse the paper charms. Now, we're not attacking anyone, so we don't need any amplifier, like a sword, but we do need to write the charm, at least for now. Later on, sometimes you can do without it, but it tends to be easier to do this with a charm, because part of you will is stored in the paper charm and you wouldn't need the same level of focus as you would if you didn't have this ready. It's helpful in a chaotic situation when you're probably in too much of a hurry to be in the proper mental state. Now, to write this, your heart needs to be in it. The word does not need to look particularly elegant or beautiful, but every stroke must be done without error or pause, and you must focus on what the word means."

"The Wind," Sakura murmured as Li handed the pen to her. "Does it have to be in  _kanji_?"

"I am Chinese," Li said with a straight face. "Chinese is how I communicate; it's my mother-tongue. A Chinese character therefore speaks to me more. I honestly don't know about you. I think to be safe, we should use  _kanji_ for now. You can always try  _hiragana_ later."

"I know the word for 'wind'," Sakura shrugged. "I was just curious."

She knew something about calligraphy; it was one of the courses at the grade school, though not one that was taught with any true severity. In the end, she wrote a passable word for 'wind', though it was nowhere as elegant as any of Li's charms.

Typical.

Li did not seem to think much of it. "Wind is very quick," he told Sakura. "It's not like the Windy, gentle and easy to work with. It's here and it's gone, so you have to think fast or else you'll lose whatever progress you've made. Know what it is you want before you summon the wind. You've heard how I do it."

" _Hai."_

"It helps that you've worked with the Windy before. You know what to expect."

" _Hai."_

It was, in short, an absolute thrill. She could  _feel_ the air respond to her call. As Li had warned, it was fast, and it helped to have an image of what she wanted in her mind. The crumpled piece of paper lifted up, floating above their heads in a steady trajectory and began circling around.

Li dabbed at his eye. "Good. You can summon any of the elements this way, but often the pull would not be very strong. Every element has its own cycle that it follows. If your wishes are consistent with that cycle, the effects could be as large as you want, but usually, like in this case, you're working against nature. You can lift a piece of paper, but you wouldn't be able to lift…say, the Penguin Slide, with just a charm. That's when you need an amplifier."

Sakura allowed the crumpled paper to drop. She was not really listening to what Li was saying, still swept up in her success. Luckily, Tomoyo had heard him.

"You mean like your sword?" she asked.

" _Hai,"_ he nodded.

"Where would she get that?"

"Someone would have to make one for her," said Li. "I wouldn't worry about that right now. Great feats of magic tend to attract attention. It's not good to have that when you're just starting."

"But the Clow Cards have been causing all sorts of trouble and no one's been around."

"Well, I came," Li pointed out, "but you're right. It might be that there's an inherent protection to Tomoeda. I don't know why that is. Still, it's probably better not to have an amplifier until you're more in control of your magic."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked. She felt like she was very well in control of the crumpled paper, and the wind forces that had levitated it.

"Well, it's not always that easy," Li held out the hand without the tissue. "For example, let's say you and I play tug-of-war with air."

* * *

The guardians were snooping in the boy's room.

"You're right. No father," Kerberus picked up a frame depicting the family Li. Or at least the immediate family Li, based on what Sakura had revealed. "Not even an old photo. Unless he's illegitimate?"

"That would be something," Yue remarked.

"But his sisters are all older," Kerberus studied them. "Look, this one's when the kid's probably like five or so, and his sisters are at least thirteen or older. The oldest one would have to be out of college by now."

Yue went over to take a look.

The boy's sisters were similar in appearance even in photos that were more up to date, though their baseline expressions belied differences in temperament. It was easy to see the family resemblance; in addition to the brown hair, they had similar proportions between the nose and the mouth, the eyes under slim eyebrows, and the chin, which differed from their brother only because he still retained some of his baby fat in his cheeks. They also, noticeably, all looked quite different from their mother, who was a strikingly beautiful woman with a face that looked like polished porcelain. If Li Syaoran were illegitimate, they all were.

"Maybe they don't have magic?" Kerberus' ears twitched.

"They have magic," Yue stated. He was almost certain of it.

"You think it's because he's a son and they're girls?"

"Possible."

The guardians regarded the photo then, neither of them satisfied with this conclusion.

"Seems like risky business," said Kerberus. "If I were them I'd send the mother and have her pass it on to the son when the time comes. Why would you send along a ten-year-old? It's not like they knew Sakura was ten years old."

"They might have had a way of telling."

"How? Even we didn't know. We didn't even know when the cards would escape. In fact, we didn't even know they  _would_ escape."

"They were going to escape. It's why Clow Reed designed the key this way."

"Well  _I_ certainly didn't know they were going to  _escape_. And  _you_ definitely didn't know  _when_ , because you showed up as Tsukishiro Yukito seven years too early and then had to explain away your nonexistent grandparents for all this time."

"It is strange that they would leave it up to a young child when they had other options," Yue conceded. "Perhaps despite his youth, Li Syaoran is more powerful than his sisters, just as Kinomoto Sakura is more powerful than her brother."

The two guardians contemplated on this for a moment.

"I say we get answers," said Kerberus. "From the woman herself. What an odd woman. I'm for raising self-sufficient children, but what if the kid were injured? He's in another country, for crying out loud."

"Perhaps this is best done without the boy present."

"You want me to do it." Kerberus scowled. "You realize these long-distance phone calls are going to show up on the phone bill. Kinomoto Fujitaka is going to ask questions about why Sakura is calling Hong Kong."

"Then you can go to my house," Yue pointed out. "Yukito has a phone. It is how he keeps in touch with Touya and the other classmates."

"Your house," Kerberus said seriously, "gives me the creeps."

"If it truly troubles you so much," Yue said dryly, "I can call while the boy is at school."

"Don't you also have school?"

Yue just looked at him.

"Just let me know what kind of woman gave birth to  _that_ ,"  __Kerberus waved a paw.

* * *

Sakura got use to the wind quickly, to the point where inside of an hour, she did not even need the charm anymore; just the incantation. It turned out, Li also did not need the charm, at least for little tricks like this. They played air-volleyball with a fresh piece of crumpled paper. Li was naturally better at this than Sakura, though he held back for the sake of keeping the game fun for all. Including Tomoyo, who participated in a three-way with the standard method of volleyball: using her hand to actually make contact with the object of the game.

"I feel like I can do so many things with just wind alone," Sakura noted when they all decided to take a break. Her stamina was lacking; she had a slight headache from concentrating so hard, and her strength felt depleted towards the end.

"Wind is an element," said Li. "It can do a lot. But sometimes you're not the only one with magic in the area, and it would be helpful to know other elements, and other spells, in case your element is weak against another's."

He had demonstrated as such with the tug-of-war; Li was the clear superior, and Sakura knew that mastering magic was quite different from simply knowing how to levitate origami.

They broke for lunch, which became something of a scene when Li realized that Yue had already made lunch for them. There was some kind of spell to keep everything warm, something Sakura suspected was Kero's doing. Sakura was treated to the somewhat amusing spectacle of Li Syaoran fumbling a little. He trudged over to the bedroom to ask if Yue or Kero wanted anything. The answer was obviously no, because he came back alone, looking somewhat troubled.

"What are they doing in your room?" Tomoyo asked.

"They looked like they were having a staring contest," Li frowned. "Probably talking about guardian things." He worried his hands a little, looking more uncertain than Sakura had ever seen. "I should have known they would do this."

"Do what?"

He gestured helplessly at the lunch tray.

Sakura understood how he felt. "It's alright. I'm sure Yue didn't mind." Not that Sakura knew Yue all that well, but since he was the true form of Yukito, he could not be all that bad.

_Right?_

"How is it living with Yue anyway?" she asked. "Has he been staying with you all this time?"

Syaoran rubbed his head, looking pained. " _Hai._ I don't know. I doubt he's here to stay. He just wants me to bond with the cards, I think."

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing. He's been here for a long time, hasn't he?"

Sakura blinked. "You mean… _Yukito-chan?_ "

" _Hai._ I mean, you two grew up with him. With your brother."

" _Hai._ He moved here about seven years ago now."

"He's your brother's age."

" _Hai."_

"That means he's applying to college and everything."

"That's really strange," Tomoyo inserted. "How would that work?  _Li-kun_ isn't going to college. And why would he bother going to college anyway? It's not like he needs to."

"He probably thought Kinomoto Touya was going to be the next Card Master," Li pointed out. "Probably sensed the cards would escape soon, or at least be inherited, and wanted to stay close. It would have been ideal. If Kinomoto Touya went to college, Kerberus could go with him and Tsukishiro could be his classmate and possibly room with him."

"He never told  _Oni-chan_ anything though. At least, I'm pretty certain  _Oni-chan_ never knew about magic at all." Sakura frowned. "Even when the cards attacked him."

"Do we know what Tsukishiro's plans were?"

"Does it matter?" Tomoyo pointed out. "He'll probably go where you go now, right?"

Li looked to the side and was silent.

"Are you feeling guilty about passing the Final Judgment?" Tomoyo asked quietly. She was always very perceptive, Sakura mused. It was how she knew about magic in the first place. "It's not like you did anything wrong. You came to get the Clow Cards and you passed the test. It's not like you weren't allowed to. And  _Yue-san_ was the one who chose you. He said you passed."

"I'm just trying to determine what to do next," Li replied. "Both Yue and Kerberus have ties here. Even I have ties here."

Sakura looked at him with some trepidation. "When do you have to go back to Hong Kong?"

"Not for a while. I'm trying to delay it for as long as I can, honestly."

"Why can't you just stay here?" Tomoyo raised her eyebrows. "We like having you around."

Li blinked, then blushed a little, and did not seem to know how to respond.

"I'm certainly fine with that!" Sakura giggled. "It would get lonely here, being the only magic-user. And once you leave…there wouldn't be anyone to share our memories with. It would be as if the Clow Cards never existed." The thought of it was depressing, and her mirth abruptly faded.

"I might go back for a while and then come back," Li said quietly. "That would probably be best. But I had a lot of things going on in Hong Kong too. We didn't know the Clow Cards were going to be released last year. We put everything on hold so I could come here. I can't just leave everything hanging back there either."

"Would you really come back?" Sakura asked plaintively.

"I'd like to," Li shrugged. "It depends on if  _Oka-san_ agrees. I don't know, though."

"What do you have to do in Hong Kong?" Tomoyo asked.

Li rubbed the back of his head. "It's to do with magic," he admitted, "and the Clow Cards would help a lot, but it's complicated. It's…to do with my  _Otou-san_ … _"_

* * *

Sakura spent the whole weekend practicing with the wind. There was a strict limit to what she was able to pick up with it; she could not seem to pick up anything heavier than a paperweight, much to her chagrin, but evenings were spent shuffling loose papers and shirts around her bedroom and flapping the curtains, much to Kero's wry amusement.

"He's still a lot stronger than me," Sakura noted, referring to how Li had easily overpowered her influence over the air during their contest of wills. "I'm not sure why. Is it his magic?"

"It might be. It's not that he's stronger; he has moon magic, and the wind falls under the moon, as you know from the cards."

" _Hai._ Well, what about my magic? What kind is it?"

"I don't know. It's not moon magic though."

"So it's sun magic?"

"It's not really sun magic either. I don't know what it is."

" _Hoe!_ How can you not know what kind of magic it is?"

"Well, it's not like I go around sniffing everyone's auras. Everyone's a little bit veering toward the sun and moon, to varying degrees. Yours…I just don't know. It's always been different."

"I guess I'm special then?" Sakura raised her eyebrows.

"I guess so."

"Well, at least I  _have_ some control over wind. I don't anticipate playing tug-of-war with people all the time." Sakura flew her paper crane around as she folded her legs under her on the bed. " _Li-kun_ said that he's going to teach me some magic theory next. That sounds really boring."

"It's important though," Kero warned.

"I know." Sakura groaned. "It's still boring though. It's like 'gymnastics theory'. I just want to do somersaults."

Kero snorted. "That's how everyone is. Clow once told us that he was like that himself. His kids use to give him such trouble; he could not teach them because he was a big softie and would let them get away with stuff. He eventually had to hire a tutor just so they learn some discipline."

Sakura giggled, before looking at Kero. " _Kero-chan_ , why didn't Clow give his cards to his children?"

It was a long moment before Kero answered. "You know," said the guardian, "I honestly don't know."

* * *

 

Cutting school, Yukito discovered, was very hard when one's best friend was smelling fish and had the intuition of a psychic.

"You're up to no good," Touya accused that morning as he waited outside the house. It did not help that Touya was also in the process of cutting school while he was apparently waiting for Yukito to show up at his own front door.

"Why would you say that?"

"Yuki, I know you. I know when you get up to things."

"When have I ever been up to things?"

"Never, so I know that something is going on now."

"That makes no sense."

"It makes total sense. Now you're going to tell me why you appear to be coming  _home_ in the morning instead of  _leaving home_ , or else I'll plant your face on the sidewalk. Right here. Right now."

"Am I not allowed to get up early to buy a snack from a street vendor anymore?"

"You don't have any snacks on you."

"I ate it already."

"You're late for school. Are you planning on going? Because normally you'd go directly from a street vendor to school, instead of coming home."

" _To-ya_ , come. You're being ridiculous."

"You've been acting strange and dodgy and I want to know why. The  _kaijuu's_ also acting strange and dodgy, but I'm hardly getting anything out of her, nor do I expect to because she's annoying. You, on the other hand, I didn't expect this from."

"To-ya." Yukito made a face.

Touya was silent for a moment. "You're my best friend. I tell you everything. I thought you would do the same."

Faced with that, Yukito had no idea what to say. After a moment where he struggled and failed to find any appropriate answer, he turned to open the door.

Touya followed him in wordlessly, taking off his shoes and trudging in with his socks on without putting on slippers. Yukito headed in after him, rubbing his head and wondering if this was where it all ends. He found Touya looking at the fridge, eyeing it critically.

"You need more beverages here."

"I haven't gone shopping for a while."

"Why not?"

Yukito was silent.

Touya shut the door. "Alright. Since everything seems to be tangled together, why don't you explain what's going on?"

 _He's going to know,_ Yukito thought in despair.  _He's too smart. Plus…isn't it his right to know? Magic is in his blood too._

"It's a long story," he began, unable to meet his friend's eyes. "And…to be honest, I only just learned about it a couple of days ago. Some parts, I'm still wrapping my mind around, though I guess part of me knew for a while."

Touya leaned against the counter and folded his arms, prepared to listen and be unimpressed.

"Do you believe in magic?" Yukito ventured. It was not quite how he planned, but once the words were spoken, he could not think of a better alternative.

Touya paused for a moment. "I told you before that I see ghosts."

That was true, and Yukito felt a surge of guilt at the pointed remark. Touya  _did_ confide in Yukito about everything.

"Turns out there's more to it than that," Yukito's voice squeaked when he spoke, "which I honestly just learned a couple of days ago." He debated whether to tell Touya the whole story about the Clow Cards, but in a moment of epiphany, realized that he should probably leave Sakura's part out of it. That was not his story to tell. "It turns out there's actually a whole world of magic. Out there. And…I have,  _ano_ , magic. But it's not like yours."

Touya frowned. "What do you mean?"

Yukito swallowed.  _Why is it so hard?_ He wished he had been better at behaving normally at school. "I'm not real." He clenched his fists as he spoke. "I—my grandparents, they're not real either. They're…we're all…created, somehow. I don't know how it works. But I…I have something like an alter-ego. He created me, to blend in. And he's an immortal being, who's been around for thousands of years. I-I still don't really understand it, but I know he's real and I'm not."

Touya was silent for three long seconds. " _Nani?_ " He shook his head. "I completely don't understand all of that."

"It…it's probably better to show you," Yukito turned away, scratching his head.  _Other me?_ He wondered if the other one could even hear his thoughts. Yukito certainly never remembered transforming on a whim. He could always feel it about to happen, but he could never initiate it.

_Onegai?_

* * *

Touya sat heavily on the floor.

In front of him, the angel (for what else could he be?) opened his eyes and regarded Touya with an icy stare. He was beautiful, in a way Yukito could not be, for Yukito was flesh and blood and his skin was pink and his eyes were always glittering with good humor, except when he was sad or worried. This one, whatever he was, had hair as white as snow, and his eyes were also pale, glowing with a power that almost hurt to look at.

"Do not be afraid," said the angel.

"I'm not afraid," Touya said a little stupidly, "but you just took over my best friend."

"He is here, as I was here. I was always here," said the being.

"Oh," Touya muttered vapidly.

The angel approached him, his movements slow and nonthreatening, perhaps on purpose. He dropped to one knee to be at level with Touya, who made no move to rise from the floor.

"Can he hear us?" Touya asked. "Or are you him? Is it just your appearance? Because I'm not sure I understand what's going on."

"He and I are two different beings," said the angel, "and  _iie_ , he cannot hear us. He is my false form, and as such his powers are less. I can, however, hear and see all that he hears and sees, and feel all he feels."

"Oh," said Touya. Not that this made much more sense.

"Do not be angry with him," said the angel. "He did not know of me, nor of the truth of magic, until a few days ago. When everything changed."

"Who are you?  _What_ are you? And what happened a few days ago?" Another thought came to mind. "Does my sister know?"

The angel ignored the last question. "My name is Yue. I am a guardian of the moon, servant and protector of a powerful magic that had come to Tomoeda many years ago, but had recently awakened. I created Yukito to keep watch until such time this power is transferred safely to capable hands."

It took some time for Touya to process all of that, and then some more before he understood what this could mean. "So Yukito will leave, then." Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. "He wanted to go to Taiwan. So this power you're watching over…that's going to Taiwan."

" _Iie,"_ Yue replied softly, "but I know not what the future holds."

It occurred to Touya that he should stand up, but when he moved his hands to push himself off the floor, he realized his limbs felt stiff, numb, reluctant to cooperate. Yue moved forward to help, but Touya jumped at the motion. He could not bear to have this…being, guardian, whatever, touch him right now.

At his reaction, Yue checked himself, and allowed Touya to scramble to his feet.

"I need to go," the teenager said, pointing at the door, which Yue was in the way of.

" _To-ya_ —"

" _Don't—_ _call_ me that!" Touya exclaimed. "You—"  _But he_ ** _is_** _Yukito, isn't he?_ But he's not? And Yukito's not the real one but—? "I—I need a moment."

Yue wordlessly stepped to the side. Touya took a moment to try to recover his bearings. When that failed, he took a deep breath and dashed past the guardian, toward the front door.

Yue did not try to stop him.

* * *

The first time Touya met Yukito, his mother had just died.

There was not much one could say about Nadeshiko except that she was ethereally beautiful, but it was a rare beauty in that she made everything and everyone around her beautiful as well. She had the coordination of a tangled puppet and the culinary skills of a malfunctioning microwave, but these flaws enhanced rather than embittered her. She was aware of her own beauty, but she did not use it purposefully to her advantage, nor did she take it for granted at the expense of other people's feelings. When Touya was young, he remembered always feeling like he was in the presence of some kind of angel or goddess. When she died, it seemed she took the beauty of the world with her.

And then he met Yukito.

Nadeshiko was always smiling, always happy, and her joy was such that it lifted others around her, and seemed to banish troubles the way sunlight eliminated shadows. Yukito had been the same, and Touya had been drawn to that from the beginning. Yukito had looked nothing like Nadeshiko, was not even a girl, but he made Touya feel the same way his mother once made him feel. Not only that, but Yukito was also surprisingly mature for his age, and often when Touya felt lost, or inexperienced, Yukito gently encouraged him and showed him the way. He had a good ear, and never seemed to judge Touya, even when Touya admitted to thoughts he should not have, like when he was bullied at school for being motherless and he confessed to wishing, if only for a moment, that the other students might also lose their moms, just so they would know what it felt like. He had relied heavily on Yukito then, more so than his father, for Fujitaka chose to address his grief by delving deeper into his work. Between his father being away, and Sakura needing Touya now that her mother was gone, there was only Yukito, one who was apart from it all and yet still invested enough to look after Touya when he truly needed it.

Touya never questioned Yukito's strange ability to know just what to do, despite being only seven years old. Later, when he started seeing his mother's ghost, the fact that Yukito seemed to take it all in stride just seemed to fit in with everything else the boy was. He never wondered why Yukito preferred to be with Touya instead of others either; though Yukito easily had the disposition that would make him a favorite among many, he and Touya were  _the_ pair, and neither they nor anyone else sought to break the trend. Through the years, Touya learned Yukito's likes and dislikes, and Yukito was the cheerful support to guide Touya away from the shadows that threatened to overwhelm him.

_And all this time…_

There were a lot of things that were still coming together, but one thing Touya realized, deep in his bones, was that whatever he had with Yukito had ended. They were not going to go to the same college and share classes. This Yue character had awakened; he had apparently been there the whole time, just unseen. And it all suddenly made _sense_ ; how Yukito knew things beyond his years, how he was always more self-sufficient, more capable, more  _wise_ compared to Touya at any age. He tried to entertain the idea that maybe this angel-being had possessed his best friend, but try as he might, Touya knew that he had always sensed this guardian's presence somehow.

But now, all of Yukito's likes and dislikes did not matter; their whole  _friendship_ did not matter anymore, because whatever woke Yue was also going to take Yukito away, and even if it did not, Yukito would never be the same. Yukito and Touya would never be the same.

 _Why would this happen?_ Touya kicked at a stray rock.  _Why does this keeping happening? Isn't losing Oka-san enough?_

_And why does it hurt so much?_

* * *

Li Yelan was a very intimidating woman to talk to over the phone. Without the benefit of seeing facial expressions, her concise answers created an impression of measured, but constant disapproval. It was a stark contrast to whichever daughter had answered the phone, who sounded like one of Yukito's hyperactive female classmates. Touya had always said Yukito had a talent for conversing with any odd personality— _Stop thinking about Touya, he needs time and you need to focus on Syaoran now—_ but that did not mean Yukito enjoyed talking to said personalities. He frankly preferred Syaoran over all of them.

"He's not bonding with the cards after that," he told the mother, "which is making the cards anxious and the guardians anxious."

 _"I'll talk to him,"_ said Li Yelan, in a tone that suggested that she was going to order her son to bond with the cards that hurt him, and prohibit any argument.

"That's not why I'm calling," Yukito stated, and started feeling some irritation at this woman—perhaps an emotion from Yue? He was never sure, these days. "If bonding with the cards is hurting him, we don't want to force him to do something that is harmful until we figure out why. He's not the kind of child to scare easily, so this was no minor incident. The card did not hurt him on purpose, that we are certain about."

_"You are suggesting that there is something wrong with my son."_

_You know what, lady?_ Yukito thought, temper rising,  _you're not so high and mighty that you'll reduce me to stammering when you're six thousand kilometers away._ "Is there something wrong with your son? Because you would know better than us."

Li Yelan was silent for an agonizing long time. Yukito was sorely tempted to apologize, or say anything to ameliorate the rude implications of his words, but a stubbornness took hold of him. It was safe to say that the last few days had been lousy, and this morning topped it all.

Obstinance paid off. This time.

 _"He is different from the others,"_ she said, and though her words were concise as always, there was a heavier weight to them this time, as if she were infusing each syllable with meaning where before she had been holding back.  _"A surprise. One we had wanted, but perhaps not deserved, nor meant to have. He is the only one with moon magic, and it is strong, but it sleeps, despite all attempts to wake it up. There were conditions, too, to his stay, one of which took his father from us. I do not know where he came from, but it was nowhere good."_

"What do you mean?" Yukito asked. "Is he adopted?"

_"No. But neither was he meant to be mine. He was a gift that brought great trouble ever since."_

Yukito was not sure he understood. "You mean it was his fault his father died."

 _"Of course not,"_ Li Yelan's disapproval was very apparent now.  _"He is a child. It's the fault of whatever gave him to us."_

"…You don't know what gave him to you?"  _Huh?_

 _"Does anyone?"_ she responded wryly.  _"I must go. I will speak with my son tonight, when he returns from school. He will bond with the cards. Thank you for informing me of the situation."_

She hung up without giving Yukito any chance to inquire further.

_Kami-sama, I hate when answers just lead to more questions._

 


	5. Taking the Initiative and the Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, he is not a clone; this has nothing to do with TRC, which I find too confusing and convoluted to even contemplate incorporating.

The Clow Book followed Syaoran to school.

He did not sense it, nor did he feel its weight when he actually _went_ to school, but when he opened his bookbag it was there, obnoxiously conspicuous, fit in between his notebooks and his lunch. Not that the Clow Book often exerted any kind of magical signature—the whole point of the book was as much to keep the cards hidden as it was to keep them contained, but he had clearly seen the book on the living room table before leaving the apartment, after Yukito had already gone, citing school affairs to settle, so the only way the book would have gotten into his bookbag was if it had moved itself there. And Syaoran failed to sense it.

_Bizarre._

This in itself would not have been all that bothersome; Syaoran could just simply close the bookbag and get on with his day, but the book was apparently not there to be a quiet reminder. In the middle of Japanese history, it thunked Syaoran on the side of the head. Outside his bookbag. While floating in midair.

Luckily, Syaoran was sitting in the back row, and Terada, who was the only person who had a direct view to Syaoran (the other students would have had to turn sideways or face backwards from the front of the classroom) was writing something on the blackboard, which meant there were no witnesses to this obvious display of magic. He grabbed the book and stuffed it into the bag. And then reinforced it with a mental command for it to stay  _put_. Not that he was sure this would work, considering he thought that the closed zipper of the bag should have proved a far more unsurpassable obstacle. 

It came out once more, during break between periods when the children were heading out to use the bathroom and refill their water bottles. Thankfully, the only witness was Daidouji, whose expression of astonishment and chagrin warned Syaoran of the impending tap to the head prior to said tap.

He took the book out during lunch, finding a secluded spot in the yard. It did not stay secluded, because Daidouji and Kinomoto showed up shortly afterwards.

"Why is the Clow Book hitting you over the head?" Kinomoto asked. "It's never done that to me before."

"I don't know. I didn't bring it to school. It came on its own."

"You mean the book decided to come to school with you?" Daidouji blinked.

Kinomoto worried her lip. "What do you suppose it wants?"

Daidouji looked at Kinomoto, clearly a little lost, but realizing that what sounded like something too absurd to be true actually made sense to her friend.

"Nothing I should actually do here," said Syaoran.

"What are you doing then?"

"I don't know, but it needs to stay put until at least after school." Syaoran looked at the embossed cover. "You need to stay put. Whatever it is needs to wait until after school."

The book, predictably, did not react one way or another.

Failing to come up with anything else to try, Syaoran stuffed the book back in his backpack. It stayed quiet when they stared at it, so they all allowed themselves to relax a little after a moment.

"I wonder where  _Yukito-chan_ is," Sakura murmured.

"Where is your brother?" Daidouji also noted.

Syaoran looked in the direction of the fence. " _Tsukishiro-san_ left early today," he remarked. "Sounded like he had something to start at school."

" _Oni-chan_ also left early today," Sakura frowned. "Maybe they're together?"

"Probably still inside," said Daidouji, "though it's kind of a waste. The weather's beautiful today."

Syaoran hummed, then blinked as something hit his head. He turned around to see the Clow Book floating in the air again.

"That's not alright," Sakura stated.

"No it's not," Syaoran took the book and stuffed it back into his backpack. "I'm heading inside. I'll talk to you guys later."

* * *

Yukito came to the Kinomoto household while Kero was playing video games again.

"Did you talk to her?" Kero asked, pausing the game as Yukito shut Sakura's door.

Yue was the one who turned around to face him. "Her answers were not particularly satisfying."

"What's she like?"

"Hard to discern." Yue leaned against the door and folded his arms. "The implication was that the boy was something of an unexpected surprise."

Kero wrinkled his nose. "You mean…"

Yue shook his head. "I don't know what she means, but I have a feeling it is more than simply an unplanned conception." He paused. "She suggested he did not arrive here through normal means, and whatever brought him here took his father away in exchange."

Kero stared. "We are getting into  _really bad territory_ here, Yue."

Yue did not respond.

"So what do we do with this?" Kero asked. "This could mean anything. He could be part of a debt, he could be part of a curse, and we just gave him the greatest source of magic to exist in the world. This also doesn't explain why bonding with the cards hurt."

"I don't think he's part of a debt or a curse," Yue replied. "But I do think he is an unexpected variable, one that no one saw."

"What do you mean?"

"Clow didn't know he would be part of his legacy."

"Clow didn't know Sakura would be either."

"I think he did," Yue said uncomfortably. "Remember when he made the key?"

The two guardians were silent for a moment.

"I asked why he made it pink…" Kero recalled, "and why the sealing wand looked like a crazy flamingo when literally nothing else about the cards were pink. Except the Flower. And Power. And Sweet. I also asked him why Power was pink."

"And he said that pink is a good color for a little girl," Yue reminded him, "and that even little girls can be strong."

They were silent again, contemplating this.

"When the kid showed up last year, did you know he was coming?"

Yue shook his head. "I was convinced it would be one of the Kinomotos to ultimately claim the cards. When Sakura ended up claiming the key, I thought it made sense, in light of everything. He had surprised me too, and for some time I did not know what to make of him. I remember thinking that if a descendant of Clow were to be involved, I should have had some premonition of it, but I never did, and I certainly never anticipated he would become the next master, even though…" he tilted his head, "by all logic, I should have considered it."

"Things stopped making sense after the Final Judgment," Kero grumbled.

"The boy apparently also has some sort of magic that wouldn't wake up," Yue reported, "though what his mother meant by that is still a mystery. It may be the reason bonding with the cards is hurting him. She seems confident that this is a non-issue, though. Said she will 'talk to him' to get him to bond with the cards."

"Well, clearly we have a source of his charming personality."

"So what do we know? I don't even know what we know. He's—" Kero never finished his thought, because all of the sudden there was a swell of intense magic, crackling and electric, followed by a resounding pulse that resonated outward, beyond Tomoeda, beyond Japan.

The two guardians were silent for a moment.

Kero swore loudly. "We better get to the school!"

* * *

 The safest place to do anything without onlookers was the bathroom, which was where Syaoran took out the book.

"Alright," he said to it, "what do you want, because this is not going to work."

It glowed a little, and then shook, but otherwise did not do anything. Syaoran realized it was because the clasp was still holding it shut.

He had a  _bad_ feeling about this, but seeing no other way to address the issue, he undid the clasp. Fortunately, the cards did not swarm out, or escape, as he half thought they might, but Windy did float slowly up, followed by the other cards in a neat, even row. Though they were in their card forms, something about the way they shifted around seemed dejected.

Syaoran studied them for a moment, wondering if this could really be true, and then considered what he knew from capturing the cards. In their physical forms, they all seemed to have temperaments. Why not as cards as well?

He sighed, directing his attention to Windy. "It's not your fault," he stated, and he was fairly certain. "I know you didn't mean it." Windy did not react either way.

He glanced out the window, trying to get a sense of time. Lunch had just started, so he still had a while before the afternoon classes began. Should he at least get started?

But Windy's decomposed form flashed in his mind, and he hesitated, doubting himself.

Then the cards took matters in their own hands.

As one, all of them, even the ones Syaoran had captured, began to emit a bright white glow. Before Syaoran could react, the light shot into him. His nerves buzzed, not quite pain, but nevertheless so intense that it was torturous and abruptly unbearable. He let out a choked-off scream, and felt himself hit the wall, the back of his head cracking against the plaster.

Then visions bombarded his mind.

Colors, sounds, voices, words. Syaoran's right eye started to hurt. Faster than shuffling a deck of cards, they sped through his mind like a bullet train. Blood and screams, silk scarves and glowing lanterns.  _"Who is meant to have the cards?"_ _"A darling of a girl."_ His father's face, whom Syaoran had only seen in photographs. A man's voice, echoing as if through water,  _My child._ A crane in the sky. A raven cawing. The tomb where the Windy had surged out of the book, face twisted in agony and rage. Firey, dancing in the sky. The Dash racing across a field of grass. Sakura, older, with a different staff, the two guardians flanking her sides. They turned completely white, like marble statues.  _"He wasn't meant to exist!"_ Breakfast with his sisters. The full moon, blood red, looming behind the clouds.

Syaoran opened his eyes. The bathroom was spinning around him, and he felt a nausea so profound that he could not even summon the energy to vomit. His right eye was in so much pain he could not even open it, and the rest of his head pounded with the dizziness, his ears rang, his nerves felt raw and inflamed, and his skin was clammy with cold sweat.

The Clow Book had tumbled to the floor next to him, quiescent once more. He sat there helplessly, leaning heavily against the wall. The ringing was so loud, he could not hear anything else, and the room continued to spin. His left eye seemed to tunnel in and out, and all had strength left his limbs.

_Is this what dying feels like?_

Time must have passed, because the next thing he knew, someone was pressing something onto his head. It hurt; the pain was what roused him.

 "Syaoran," he heard Mizuki whisper, "child, come back to me. Syaoran."

He blinked, but his right eye hurt too much, and watered profusely. He squinted through his left eye.

"His magic is entirely depleted," Yue noted.

"The cards are bonded though."

"He's barely holding on." A cold hand felt the pulse at his wrist.

"You need to take him out of here," he heard Mizuki remark. "He has no magic left. He needs to rest and recuperate." He felt a swell of power enter him, and some of the nausea receded.

 _Mizuki's magic,_ he thought.

"This shouldn't have happened," Keroberus muttered. "He should have had more magic than that."

"They activated, they didn't just bond," Yue replied. "All the cards that consumed magic activated all at once and drained him simultaneously."

Despite the soothing feeling of magic once again running through his veins, Syaoran must have blacked out again, because when he came to, Yue was holding him. The wind was brushing over Syaoran's face.

 _We're flying._ He wanted to see, see what that was like, but his body felt too weak to comply with his mind's commands.

Yue's flying was smooth, like gliding on ice. Syaoran did not even feel when they landed. He only saw, looking above, how the sky switched over to ceilings. He heard Keroberus fiddle with a lock, and then they were inside his apartment.

He still felt ill, but once Yue laid him upon his bed, he felt a little better. His cold sweat receded. His nerves no longer felt so raw. His eye continued to hurt, as did his head, but the ringing was less, and he felt considerably improved.

"You need to take it easy," Keroberus stated. "Why did you decide to bond with the cards while at  _school?_ "

"I didn't," Syaoran said lowly. "It followed me and wouldn't leave me alone."

"What do you mean?" Yue asked.

"It appeared in my bookbag, and kept floating out." Syaoran tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness knocked him right back down.

"I said you need to take it easy!"

"You should remain flat for now," Yue said to him. "We'll look into this once your own magic has recovered." He placed the book at the bedside table.

"Why are the cards hurting him?" Keroberus floated over. "That's not like them."

"That can wait." Yue reached out and covered Syaoran's eyes with his hand. "Sleep."

* * *

"That could have killed him," Kerberus said solemnly, as they regarded the sleeping child. "Draining his magic like that, so quickly; they could have pulled his life force right out of him. If Mizuki hadn't given him some of her magic, he might actually be dead."

"His magic never reacted this way with the Clow Cards before."

"Well it's done now," the sun guardian grumbled. "Question is, what will happen if he uses the cards on purpose?"

"We may need to test that this weekend, instead of Sakura's planned session."

"Is that safe? We don't even know what's going on."

"Mizuki might know. If we have her present, she may be able to provide support."

Kerberus scowled. "She did save his life, and allowed us a speedy getaway, but…that woman has a lot of secrets, and I'm not sure what her motives are."

"Not to harm him, I'm sure, and she knows more than she reveals," said Yue. "If nothing else, she may know more about magic outside of Clow's cards."

"True, and today was too close." His ears fell. "I don't like the brat, but I don't want him to die. He doesn't deserve that; he's just a kid! Maybe Mizuki knows something. She'd be easier to talk to then the kid's mother, for sure."

 The doorbell rang.

The two guardians stared at each other for a moment, before Yue slowly turned and moved to the door.

"…Who on earth…" Kerberus muttered.

Yue looked through the viewer. Touya stared blankly at him. The guardian inhaled slowly, and then exhaled, flicking the locks and pulling the door open.

" _Oka-san_ told me you were here," said the teenager.

"Of course she did," said the guardian.

Touya was quiet for a moment. "What happened?"

Yue drew back to allow the boy to enter. He shut the door after him.

"We're honestly still trying to figure it out."

"This the person taking you to Taiwan?"

"He's not taking me to Taiwan. Yukito was just saying that because no one knows what will happen now, but he lives in Hong Kong and it seemed like a good lead-in."

"Hong Kong?" Touya blinked, before blanching. " _Iie._ You mean—"

He cut himself off, because Yue had grabbed him by the upper arms. Yue was just as surprised by this as Touya was, but he did not let go.

"A lot of things…are…not right, right now," Yue looked in the direction of the child's room, "but if you give me a moment…I'll try to explain everything to you."

Touya's expression had not been particularly open before, but it closed even further. "Bad?" He inquired.

"He almost died," Yue's voice sounded hushed even to his own ears, and he was surprised when Touya paled, indicating he had somehow heard.

"Was he attacked?"

"I don't know."

"My sister—"

"Is fine." Yue let go of him. "Wait here."

Kerberus was hiding behind the door when Yue entered the room. The boy was still sleeping, oblivious to his new guest. Yue was not sure how the child would react; probably not positively, but Touya definitely felt that magical surge, just as Mizuki and Sakura did. Pushing him away now would hardly solve any problems.

Kerberus, though, did not agree.

"Are you out of your  _mind?_ " the sun guardian hissed. "Why'd you let him in?"

"He  _knows,_ " Yue sighed, exasperated, "and he's always known. He just chose not to pursue it, but now everything is going wrong. He has the right to know what is happening next door."

"We're not next door to the Kinomotos! And he's not part of this!"

"Daidouji wasn't part of this either!"

"Who are you talking to?" Touya asked. "Is it the  _gaki?_ Because I swear—"

Yue leaned back to look at his false form's best friend. "Touya, I want you to meet someone."

Kerberus groaned.

Touya blinked at the absence of the honorific, but did not comment.

He reacted well to Kerberus, all things considered. "I knew there was something off about that stuffed animal," was all he said, earning him a "Hey!" from Kerberus, but after a quick formal introduction, Touya turned to glare at Yue.

"So how was my sister involved in all of this?"

"You can ask her," Yue said wearily. "She's likely to visit once school lets out."

Touya leaned back onto the back of the couch and folded his arms, looking like he was about to lose both his temper and his marbles. Then, with a visible mental effort, he regained control of himself.

"So I know my sister has been fooling around with magic for the past year," he began, "and I know that a lot of frankly bizarre things have happened around Tomoeda over the past year. My best friend is apparently not real and is actually a man with wings, my sister's stuffed animal is not just a magical creature but can actually  _talk_ and the  _gaki_ is involved in all of this. Now, can you fill in the blanks for me? Because I've just about had enough."

* * *

_Eriol is going to want to know this,_ Kaho thought, as she packed her papers into her bag. Normally, she would stay behind to reorient herself and get at least some of the grading done, but after what happened that afternoon, she needed to see if the boy was alright.

She was a step behind Sakura and Tomoyo, who had the same idea; they were not able to see fully what was happening, as both girls had restrained themselves from actually entering the boy's bathroom, but they had seen enough to be concerned despite Kaho's reassurances.

 _Kinomoto Sakura._ She was meant to be the one. Clow had designed the Moon Bell especially for her. Had designed the sealing wand and key.  _But then the boy passed._  Kaho was never able to use it; there was no opportunity. _And now everything is going wrong._ This could not be a coincidence.

The best thing to do would be to separate the Clow Cards from the boy, but that would be traumatic as well. Plus, the boy's disruption of their plans had been inadvertent; he was not a malicious entity, trying to snatch power he knew did not belong to him. He was simply a player in a game he thought had yet to be determined. If anything, it was Kaho's fault, and Yue's, and Clow's, for not taking his presence into account.

 _But how could that have happened?_ The Clow Cards were Clow's creation, and their destiny was his to determine. He had seen the girl, had known her, and then tailored the book to come to her. Clow was a sorcerer of great power. He had known that the Clow Cards would be a much sought-after commodity. He had fought off rivals even in his time to protect the integrity of the cards. When he arranged for the book to go to Kinomoto Sakura, he made sure that their release would only be sensed by those that would help her claim the cards. Li Syaoran's family should never have even sensed their escape.

Perhaps it was because Li Syaoran had carried the blood of Clow. That explanation had made enough sense that Eriol and Kaho agreed to leave things be. Yet even if he failed to account for his descendants, Clow's designs were not so easily thwarted. Li Syaoran was not weak, but he was a child, and hardly had the ability to interfere with something so solidly woven.

 _And it's killing him._ Kaho had delivered a little of her magic to sustain him, but that did not mean he was out of the woods yet. Very likely, he would need a few more doses, coupled with extensive rest. Which would consume time; time which they may not be able to afford. That display from earlier in the day would have been felt worldwide, and unlike the controlled release of the Clow Cards, this would not have been restricted to those with benevolent intentions. 

" _Mizuki-sensei!"_ Sakura's voice jarred her out of her thoughts. She tried to summon a smile for the girls who had turned ahead to wait for her, but she could tell from their reactions that it failed to reassure them.

"Are you going to check on  _Li-kun?_ " Tomoyo asked.

 _"Hai._ He was very sick. I am concerned."

She did not elaborate further, instead striding ahead as quickly as she could. She heard the girls jogging a little to catch up.

Kaho was so distracted that she did not know what was waiting for her at the boy's apartment until they were there.

"Really?" Touya remarked flatly, glaring at her. "You're in this too? Is everyone in Tomoeda in the know except for me?"

"Hoeeeeeee!" Sakura exclaimed. " _Oni-chan!_ What—what are you doing here?"

Kaho nearly gaped at him—her jaw was starting to descend, but she caught herself in time and strode across the room.

"I'll explain everything later—"

"Don't bother," Touya stood up, "you obviously don't need me here—"

"Touya, please—" Yue reached out, but the boy was hurt. He batted the guardian's hand away.

"I thought—" he gritted his teeth and turned away. "You know what, forget it."

Kaho stopped in front of the child's door. A bad situation was about to get worse, she saw, and Yue would not be able to focus on the child if his heart was breaking because of Touya.

" _Touya-san_ ," she called out, infusing her voice with all the authority she could.

Touya stopped, though he did not turn around.

" _Oni-chan…_ " Sakura whimpered, green eyes wide.

"There are rules," Kaho said in a quieter tone. "Ones we cannot break, under penalty worse than death, Touya. It was not Yue's fault, and it was not mine. We did not leave you out because we did not trust you or believe you to be one of us. We simply had no opening to lead you in."

Silence descended, thick and heavy.

"Sakura needs you," Yue whispered. "Yukito needs you."

"Yukito's a lie."

" _Iie._ In many ways he is more real than I am. I did not feel. He was that one who rejoiced, who mourned, who loved, and it is only through him that I could do the same. What he felt for you was absolutely true."

"Touya," Kaho inserted, aware that she might be undoing any progress she made with the two girls, "right now the situation is bad. If you walk away now, you may not be able to return in time."

Sakura looked at her in horror. Touya turned around. He opened his mouth to speak, but then blinked.

Kaho turned around to look at the bedroom doorway.

Li Syaoran was standing there, staring at all of them.

"…I can make tea, but I don't know if I have enough cups," he said.

* * *

He had enough cups, but none of them wanted tea.

"I feel a lot better," the boy insisted when Kaho started transferring a little more magic into him, completely oblivious to how remarkable that was. Yue and Touya were on opposite sides of the room while Kaho and Li sat in the center on the couch. Sakura and Tomoyo were near the kitchen, looking at the scene, subdued.

" _Li-san_ ," Kaho said gently, "do you know why the cards might be hurting you like this?"

"I'm not supposed to have them," he replied without hesitation.

A flash of pain swept over Yue's face. If there was any evidence that Yukito had changed him, that was it. It was fleeting, enough that Kaho almost did not notice it.

"You insist on doubting yourself," said the guardian. "There is no basis for that, child."

"I saw," Li's young aura began to curdle in distress. "It felt  _wrong_ , even in the beginning, and when I tried to bond with Windy—I  _saw_. They get corrupted—I tried to avoid it but they wouldn't  _stop—"_

"Stop," Kaho commanded, meaning something else altogether, and Li fell silent.

Whatever the boy had seen was clearly upsetting. He needed to be stronger if they were going to delve into this.

"Everything happens for a reason," she said quietly. "You passed the Final Judgment for a reason. No doubt, this is happening for a reason as well. They might not be obvious, but it would do us all good to address the matter rather than dismiss it. Right now, however, we need you to recover from what happened. You should take at least tomorrow off, if not the day after. Is there an adult with you?"

Li blinked.

" _Iie_ ," said Yue. "I can write a note for him."

"I'll vouch for him," Kaho said after a pause.

"I have a test on Wednesday."

"You can make up for it."

"I already had to make up homework from last week," Li scowled, "I can't get sick  _again_."

"I'm sure your friends will allow you to copy their notes," said Kaho, wondering what it had happened to children these days, and if she had been the same. "Your health is more important,  _Li-san._ As a teacher, I would never excuse you from school otherwise."

That, at least, seemed to convince the boy.

"Now, are you hungry?" Kaho asked.

Li looked over at the clock.

"We don't have groceries," Yue announced. Clearly, shopping had been replaced by explaining things to Touya.

"I can go buy some," Li started getting up.

"What part of  _'you are sick'_ don't you understand?" Kerberus exclaimed.

"We can go get some," Tomoyo offered. "What do you all want?"

No one cared.

"You squirts aren't going to be able to carry enough food back," Touya stuck his hands into his pockets as he went to join the girls, his entire body exuding discontent.

"I'll order delivery," Li offered. "Today's a delivery kind of day."

Everyone awkwardly listened to the boy order food for everyone from a menu for a restaurant down the street. Once that was done, they all stood or sat silently around the living room, waiting for something to happen.

Then Yue broke the silence.

"What happened to your father?" he asked Li.

Startled, Li stared dumbly at him. It was Sakura who answered.

"His father died when he was three."

"What from?" asked Kerberus.

"He got sick."

"Lung cancer," Li supplied, regaining his composure.

The two guardians exchanged a look.

"It wasn't a magical reason, then," Kerberus mused.

"Not directly," said Li.

"What do you mean?"

With an absolutely straight face, Li replied, "Well, he wouldn't have died if I hadn't been born."

* * *

The Li clan had a number of seers, who were all convinced at one point that Li Yelan was destined to have four children only. While she and her husband had dearly wanted a son, they knew this was unlikely. After their fourth daughter was born, they figured she was it, so it came as a complete shock to everyone when Yelan found out she was pregnant.

"No one knew I was coming," The boy explained. "They thought I was going to be a miscarriage, and for a long time  _Oka-san_ hardly even acknowledged me. She never even went to the doctor. But I stuck around and after a few months my parents realized I was probably here to stay."

"What does that have to do with your father's death?" Touya asked, wondering what kind of mother would blame her child for her husband's death when he was only three.

"Well he was supposed to live until he was at least seventy-two, and then as soon as I was born, the seers saw that he would only have three more years to live." The boy's voice was distinctly flat. "Kind of a huge coincidence."

"Lung cancer," the stuffed animal—sun guardian, or whatever, glanced at Yue.

"So he knew he was going to die?" Touya asked, trying to wrap his mind around the idea.

" _Hai._ But he didn't know how he was going to die, or precisely when. I was told that some of the clan suggested my mother sacrifice me to the dragon kings; she and  _Otou-san_ didn't want to do that. They spent a long time trying to figure out where I came from, and why I came at all. Then  _Otou-san_ got diagnosed with lung cancer. He got really sick, couldn't wrap up his affairs after that. He died two months later. Since then, we've been trying to tie up all the loose ends he's left behind."

"You know this was not your fault, child," Kaho said gently.

"Of course not. I was a baby, and I wouldn't know any better by the time he died." But the boy's eyes took on a wounded quality. Sometimes logic does not work.

"Why do you want to know about my father?" he asked Yue.

"I spoke to your mother this morning."

The boy paused to take that in. "Did she want me to go back? I spoke to her last week; we agreed I could stay for another year—"

"She did not want you to go back."

"…Oh."

The stuffed animal turned to Kaho. "We were hoping you can help with the Clow Cards and their odd reaction to the kid."

"I would not advise using them until at least he has recovered all of his magic."

"He hasn't used them at all since the Final Judgment. Before, this sort of thing never happened. Do you know why that might be?"

"The cards did not recognize him as their master, only their captor," Kaho pointed out. "But now the situation has changed once again. Perhaps they were unstable because he delayed bonding with them for so long."

"We will need to test them once he has recovered," Yue announced. "In case something goes wrong, however, we need someone at hand who can help. We guardians cannot deliver magic to a sorcerer. It will have to be another one."

"I can come this weekend," Kaho nodded, apparently knowing what they were requesting. She inclined her head toward Touya and Sakura. "The more of us present, the better it likely will be. In the meantime I'll look into my own texts. Some seers are better than others, but this story is still very strange."

Li's expression had closed. "What are we going to do with that information?" he asked.

"Whatever we can to ensure your welfare," Kaho assured him. "Your guardians would not tolerate otherwise."

The buzzer went off.

"Food's here," said the stuffed animal.

* * *

Dinner was incredibly awkward. It started with Tomoyo paying the delivery man, which riled Li up, but he could not do much about it because he was still not feeling well and could not beat Tomoyo to her wallet (for the first time ever). Then the dinner itself was a painful affair, because no one talked. There was something going on between Sakura's brother and Yue, but neither of them were willing to address it. Kero ate everything, as usual, while Li, who grew progressively paler as the meal went on, soon had to excuse himself altogether.

Her brother was very angry. Sakura had never seen him so furious in her life. He seemed angry at everyone at the table, though he ate civilly enough. Several times, Sakura tried to apologize to him, but she was immediately rebuffed with a "Not now". Kaho's attempts were met with stone cold silence, and Yue did not even try.

After the meal, it became clear that Yue and Kero were both staying with Li, and there was no way Li could do any homework, so there was no point in anyone else staying.

"You'll let me know how you're doing?" Sakura made Li promise. "If there's anything you need me to do, you know my number."

"I'll be fine. Hopefully by this weekend we can practice more magic."

"Your health comes first," said Sakura.

Kaho left, and Sakura and her brother walked Tomoyo home after everyone cleaned up. When it was only the two of them, Sakura tried to approach her brother again.

" _Oni-chan…_ "

Her brother sighed, and then stretched out a hand. Sakura grabbed it, and he gripped hers tightly, though his walk never ebbed.

"You could have died," he said quietly.

"You almost did too," Sakura said softly. "But the cards don't mean to harm anyone, and they've never done this before."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm glad you didn't pass the Final Judgment."

Sakura bowed her head. "Are you angry,  _Oni-chan?"_

" _Hai_ ," he said stiffly, but his grip never eased. "But I'm not angry with you. You're…just a kid."

"Don't be angry at  _Yue-san_ ,  _Oni-chan_. He couldn't have told you until he actually awoke.  _Yukito-san_ never knew. I'm not sure if he knows now."

"He knows."

"…Oh."

"I'm not angry at anyone," her brother amended. "I'm angry at myself. I knew something was going on. I thought I knew more than I did, and I was…complacent. I figured, I could talk to ghosts"—Sakura swallowed at this—"and just _know_ things sometimes, so you can go ahead and be weird. I didn't realize Yuki was also part of it. I should have asked questions. But I guess all is well that ends well."

Sakura shivered. "I'm worried about  _Li-kun._ "

"I'm glad it's him and not you."

" _Oni-chan!_ "

Touya huffed. "Are you really surprised? But we'll do what we can to help him," he paused. "He's helped you too, hasn't he,  _Imouto-chan?_ "

"He's one of my best friends," Sakura declared, eyes watering. "I can't believe he feels that way about his father."

"Right, well, who knows." He transferred Sakura's hand to his other so he could loop his free arm around her shoulders. "That's his business, not ours."

* * *

Eriol picked up on the second ring.

 _"Kaho,"_ he began without preamble,  _"is the boy alright?"_

"He's been sucked dry," Kaho replied. "There's concern about what exactly he is."She related what happened that day and what the boy had revealed about his father and himself. "Do you know of anything like this?"

Eriol was silent for a long time.

 _"There are similar anecdotes,"_ he finally replied.  _"It's hard to determine if they actually apply; different seers have different reliabilities and they see some things and not others. Just because some seers did not see a birth does not mean the birth was not originally intended. The Chinese, however, are very good at fortune-telling. They have a long past and study it well; it makes their predictions both more accurate and more complete. He certainly sounds like a wild card. They turn up sporadically throughout history, in all realms. Sometimes they bring miracles; other times they bring disasters, but wherever they turn up, they throw plans into disarray."_

"Would that explain why the cards seem to be volatile around him?"

 _"It could, depending on what kind of wild card he is,"_ Eriol said without a hint of irony.  _"The more immediate concern is that what happened in Tomoeda is felt worldwide, perhaps even more."_

Kaho closed her eyes. "I suppose we should expect visitors then."

 _"He'll need to fend them off,"_ Eriol warned.  _"How quickly is he recovering?"_

"Considerably, but he'll need a few days still. Eriol, he could have died."

_"Keep watch over him, Kaho. Look out for newcomers. I'll be flying over the day after tomorrow. Until then, you should all keep a low profile."_

"Understood."

 _"Be careful, Kaho,"_ Eriol's voice took on an apprehensive quality.  _"The Clow Cards have great power, but only with a strong master. Even in Clow Reed's day, some of these people were hard to ward off. You have considerable magic, but do not engage anyone unless you have to. There are those who are far stronger than you, and would also kill you without question."_

"I'll be careful," Kaho promised. "Should I let them know you're coming?"

_"No. I want the ability to mingle amongst our enemies. Stay safe."_

"You too."

He hung up.

Kaho exhaled slowly. Hopefully this was all an overreaction, but Eriol's dread was affecting her too. He was not the type to worry without reason, though he had been planning on coming to Tomoeda after the cards were claimed.

 _A blessing and a curse,_ Clow had called the book and its contents. Kaho wondered if even he had known that this is what he would mean.

 

 


	6. Night Comes to Tomoeda

Things escalated relatively quickly.

Sakura, Touya, and Tomoyo went about their business for the next three days while Li stayed at home under something like a house arrest enforced by his guardians. Yukito, naturally, remained absent from school, leaving Touya to cover for him, which worked, somewhat, as Yukito had been a good student up till then. Kaho took care of Li's absence, and for a moment things were quiet. However, the day after the group disbanded from the boy's apartment, there appeared a hint of subtle danger in the air, somewhat like magic. Touya was skittish, Sakura was having nightmares that she could not recall upon waking, and Kaho warned both Sakura and Touya not to go to Li's apartment to visit him.

Which was fine, because Touya did not want his sister anywhere near that place, mainly because her going there would mean he would have to go there at some point, and he really did not want to see Yue right now.

The biggest point of concern, however, was Nadeshiko. His mother had generally taken a casually amused attitude toward Sakura's antics over the past year; a big reason, Touya recalled, why he had not pressed the issue before. However, she was starting to appear more often, and began wearing an expression he did not usually see on her face. Something was worrying her, and the more anxious she was, the more nervous Touya became. Even though he had yet to encounter any incident or individual to justify his wariness, he had a feeling some kind of danger had either awoken to Tomoeda, or had traveled to it.

The icing on the cake, or so the saying went, was that despite stabilizing, Li had yet to recover enough magic to contemplate using any Clow Card, even a minor one. Kaho had been the one visiting him, and every day she gave the brief report; Li Syaoran was doing well, but not getting better.

"His right eye is hurting a lot," Kaho mused. "Did he ever injure it?"

"How should I know?" Touya snorted. "I'm not the brat's keeper."

Against all advice, Li did go to school that Friday, which Touya was tempted to blame for what happened over the weekend, because if the  _gaki_ had only stayed home like he had been told, at least they would have had a full week's worth of reprieve.

* * *

The "What Will the Cards Do?" session started late Friday night. It was late because Fujitaka wanted dinner with his children before catching his flight, and did not have the opportunity for that entire week. Kaho, Yue, and the stuffed animal expressed that under no circumstances was Touya or Sakura to reveal the world of magic to his father. Which was fine, except Nadeshiko hovered over their meal, trying to rush Touya to wrap up and  _go_ , and as the minutes ticked past, she became more and more distracting.

"We're heading over to help the  _kaijuu_ with a project at school," Touya finally managed to extricate them. "Don't want to be too late.  _Gomen nasai, Otou-san._ "

"Ah, I should head over to the airport myself," Fujitaka said with some regret. His bags, fortunately, were already packed.

Nadeshiko was incorporeal, but she still seemed to sort of herd them all out of the house, disappearing as soon as Fujitaka slipped into the car. It was a half an hour drive to the airport, and then half an hour back. They dropped their father off and Sakura shifted to the passenger seat.

"You're really fidgety,  _Oni-chan,_ " Sakura noted.

 _"Oka-san_ wants us out of the house, for some reason," he said, forgetting for a moment that his sister's fear of ghosts did also extend to their mother. At her expression of dismay, he added, "She's not here anymore. She's our  _mother_ ; she's not going to hurt us."  _Embarrass us, maybe, but not hurt us._

"Hoeee!" Sakura exclaimed.

Kaho was already at the apartment, in an intense discussion with Li, who wanted to get started, while she felt it was unwise. Touya would have sided with Kaho, but her argument paled a little in the setting of the Clow Cards loose around the flat; the Dash card, as Sakura identified, was snuggling into Li's lap like a cat, while the Flower Card was admiring herself in the mirror. Bubbles was washing everything in sight, while the Thunder Card, the size of a mastiff, was watching television as its body crackled, generally looking too hazardous to be kept indoors.

Touya let out some expletives, since he was not prepared to have walked into a death trap, but since all of the released cards seemed to be minding their own business and not breaking too many important things, while Li was upright and standing, he did have difficulty believing Kaho's arguments.

" _Li-kun_ , why are all the cards out?" Sakura asked, lingering in the doorway because the floor was covered with froth.

"I let them out. See, it's  _fine_."

"Letting the cards go about their business is not the same as casting with them," Kaho said sternly, "on top of being absolutely  _reckless._ I'm disappointed,  _Li-san._ "

"Isn't that the running theme of my  _life_." Li opened the book and glared at the spirits running around the place. A few, like the Dash and the Thunder, reverted to their card forms instantly, while Flower and Bubbles required more persuasion. " _Now_ ," the boy demanded, and they sulkingly obeyed.

The flat was left squeaky clean and smelling like laundry softener; not the worst smell, Touya had to admit. Flower did leave piles of petals around the mirror.

 _Why is that a card?_ Touya shook his head in disbelief.

Letting the cards loose, even without a directive, was still taxing, particularly since Li had released so many at once. He needed to take a breather, which led to about half an hour of gentle scolding from Kaho. He refused to take anyone's magic, so Touya and Sakura tried to find something to do with themselves while the boy recovered. Yukito and the stuffed toy both hovered around the boy during this time; Touya saw Yukito glance over at him several times, but he could not bring himself to meet the other boy's gaze.

Yukito. False form.  _Kami-sama._

Kaho was still lecturing when Nadeshiko appeared again. She glanced at him, then at Li, and frowned heavily.

_Why is Oka-san so worried about the gaki?_

Suddenly, Kaho stopped. Li did not use the opportunity to retort. They both seemed to be staring into space for a moment, before Kaho slowly rose from her seat. Li did as well, but he went to the lightswitch, and wordlessly turned off the lights as Kaho went to the window.

In the darkness, everyone was silent for a moment. The Clow Book glowed faintly.

"They also think the Clow Book was destined for Sakura-san," Kaho murmured.

"Why do you say that?" The stuffed toy asked.

"Because they've just attacked her house."

* * *

" _Nani?!_ " The elder Kinomoto exclaimed.

Mizuki turned to Syaoran. "You're not strong enough to stand against them."

"How many are there?"

"I can't tell. They must be powerful, to escape my detection. It is strange that they did not sense the cards here."

"The apartment is warded," Syaoran explained.

"It is?" Kero blinked at the walls.

"What do you mean, they attacked our house?" The elder Kinomoto demanded.

Syaoran retrieved the lace that would turn into his sword.

"You're in no shape to confront them," Kero scowled.

"I'll try not to," said Syaoran, "but we can't just sit here while they roam about.  _Kinomoto-san_ , is your father at home?"

" _Iie,_ " she said, "he has a conference to go to. He's at the airport by now."

" _Syaoran-san_ ," Yukito reached out and rested his hands on Syaoran's arms, "if the apartment is warded, this is the safest place to be."

"Here and the shrine," said Mizuki.

"We can't just sit here!"

"Well I'm not sitting here," the elder Kinomoto pushed his sister inward as he made for the doorway.

" _Oni-chan!_ "

" _Touya-san!"_ Kaho called out.

"You can look after the kids. I'm going to check it out." Within moments, the elder Kinomoto had slipped on his shoes.

"Touya, wait!" Yukito exclaimed. In the next moment, he was following the teenager out. Kaho went after as well.

Syaoran made to go after them, but Kero rested a paw on him. "Ah ah," said the guardian, "you're staying here.  _Sakura-chan_ , make sure he stays put. I'm going after those lunatics."

 _He's a lunatic if he thinks I'm listening._ Syaoran turned around. He raised his hand, and the Clow Book floated over.

" _Li-kun?"_ Sakura blinked as he quickly opened it.

"Can't carry the whole thing," he pointed out, "not if these people are after it." He also could not possibly cast every card. "We have to make sure we can make a quick getaway if needed—someplace safe." An offensive card, a way to escape, a way to defend, at the very least. He already knew which card he wanted, in case they needed to retreat. "Loop Card." It could be sliced with a magical blade, but Syaoran did not plan on using it to trap his enemies. He held it between his index and middle fingers, and concentrated.

The card glowed. His right eye started aching, but Syaoran ignored this. A line formed in the living room, right in front of the doorway.

Sakura stared at the line, then at him. "Oh." She figured out what his plan was.

Syaoran tucked the card away for later. He had his own sword, so he did not need the Sword card; he knew how to fight, so he did not need the Fight card. Yue and Kero could both fly, so he was going to leave that out. An element: Watery, as it was easier to control—and Shadow, since it was night, and easier to power than something like Illusion. Yue had shields, Kero had fireballs; they should be set.

" _Kinomoto-san,_ " he turned to the girl, "Follow my lead. Do not attack unless I do, and stay close to me. You have practiced with wind magic, right?"

" _Hai."_

"It might not be enough, but any little bit may help."

* * *

Syaoran's own plans were slightly foiled when it turned out, the Kinomotos had arrived in a car.

"You  _drove_ here?" He exclaimed.

"We dropped off my  _Otou-san_ before coming here!"

He did not have the strength to catch up to a car, but that did not mean Syaoran would not try. Yukito and Kaho were nowhere to be seen, which meant they were likely with Kinomoto's brother. The two ran the best they could, though Syaoran soon had to slow to a walk; the pain in his right eye, while not severe, was deep and sagging at his stamina.

Fortunately, Kinomoto's brother parked halfway to their house. The two children eventually caught up to the others. Kero faced them with a glare.

"What on earth are you two doing here?"

"I told you they would follow," Yue hissed. "You should have stayed with them!"

"And leave you three to fend these people off?"

Syaoran ignored them. "What's happening?"

The Kinomoto residence was anticlimactically quiet. Not even the front lawn was disturbed. The lights were all out except for the front porch, which tended to be lit at night when no one was home. Syaoran stretched his senses, but did not feel any presence there.

"Are you sure people came here?" Kinomoto's brother asked.

But Yue hushed him. "They're inside. I see them."

Syaoran could not. He looked at Kero. "Can  _you_ see them?"

"Night-vision's not really my area."

"Do you think you can get closer? You're the smallest and in your false form."

Kero blew out a breath. "We'll see."

"I'm drawing the Loop to that intersection," Syaoran pointed to it about a block away. "It connects to the apartment. I'll deactivate the spell when we're all through."

"You would have to be the last one to cross," Yue glared.

"Run fast," was all Syaoran said.

Kero floated toward the house, keeping a low profile. Syaoran stretched out his senses again, but he could only sense his allies, not the enemies. He felt Kero pause for a moment, and long seconds ticked by when nothing happened.

Then a spell swelled. Kero instantly morphed into his true form. Bright light flashed from inside the house.

Syaoran grabbed Yue. "Take me up!"

Yue obeyed, grabbing Syaoran and flapping his wings once. Syaoran's stomach plummeted as they shot up, and he realized very inconveniently that Yue's agility was probably going to give him motion sickness. Taking the key, he managed to gasp the incantation as Yue's ascent abruptly halted.

"Key that hides the power of the dark, show your true form before me. I, Syaoran, command you under our contract. Release!"

The key was pink—if nothing else had pointed to the sheer  _wrongness_ of him possessing the cards, this would at least have made him suspicious—and upon its release, it turned into the same pink sealing wand Kinomoto always used. He drew the Watery out just when Kero blew a fireball, and threw it out, slamming the wand down upon it.

"Spirit of water!" he commanded, "find and subdue my enemy!"

Watery sailed from her card in a great arc, Water droplets splattered the pavement in her wake. She dove through a closed window, shattering it—but Kero's fireballs had already lit something on fire, and whomever he was fighting was likely shredding the wall.

"Yue, after it!" Syaoran ordered, and the guardian swooped over after the card. Syaoran swallowed back acid as he took out his lace and summoned the sword while they dove through the window. Kero released another fireball, which lit the dark room, allowing Syaoran to see a cloaked figure, hood covering his face.

He bent his legs, planted his feet against Yue's torso, and kicked, propelling himself out of the guardian's arms. Watery rammed at the figure from one side, compelling him to dodge right into Syaoran's trajectory. Raising both the wand and the sword, Syaoran stabbed forward, but the figure somehow sensed him and raised a staff behind him, blocking both weapons.

Syaoran landed on his feet in a crouch, then instinct had him diving left; there was another intruder. Watery surged, mouth open in an angry hiss, and crushed the second trespasser through the wall. Syaoran rolled over just in time to block another sword—there was a third? But crystals suddenly punctured outward, one of them grazing Syaoran on the forehead. Blood splattered, and the sorcerer released a choked grunt, before slumping down. Blood pooled on the floor. Behind him, Yue was glowing like the moon, arms out and more crystals forming.

Suddenly, both Kero and Yue were pushed back. Yue's crystals faded on impact. The first sorcerer had his staff out. He swung it and a blaze of iridescent light swept towards the guardians. Yue summoned a shield, but it shattered on impact, and Syaoran  _felt_ when the spell hit his guardians, their magical auras flickering, like a candle about to go out.

Watery surged back; Syaoran did not know what happened to the second sorcerer, but there was a fourth and a fifth rushing through the door.  _How many are there?_ Mizuki's magic flared downstairs. Watery rushed at the first sorcerer holding his guardians to the wall, but bounced off a barrier. Syaoran raised his sword and struck, slicing through it. The sorcerer raised his staff to block his next thrust and tried to twist his sword out of his hand. Syaoran barely held on, forced to retreat to regain his bearings. The sorcerer then lifted his staff and pointed it at Watery, who was springing for another attack.

Her figure suddenly twisted into a tunnel of pure water. Syaoran felt a tug on his magic, coming from his right eye, and pain flared through his skull. He screamed, and on instinct tried to  _pull_ _back_ —Watery splashed into him and he crashed through the wall.

Pain bled through his entire body. For a long, horrendous moment, Syaoran could not move. Something pulled him back by the collar of his neck; his hand released the sword by accident, and when he reached for it he was already being dragged away. Watery crashed into where he had been, hitting his leg. It twisted, went wild, slamming through all the windows, and then suddenly aimed for him again. Once again he was pulled, this time feeling Kero's armor against his back.

 _Not good._ Somehow, this sorcerer was influencing  _his_ card. Pushing back made his eye flare up like it wanted to squeeze into his skull. Syaoran deactivated Watery by force, turning it into its card form. It sailed quickly to him, but Yue was the one who caught it. Then a series of spells flew at him—Kero jerked him out of the way. Limbs limp, it was all Syaoran could do to hold onto the sealing wand.

Kero fled from the room, teeth still gripping Syaoran's collar. Yue flanked behind, shooting his own crystals. Downstairs, Mizuki was fighting her own battle, and the spells were rocking the very foundations of the house. Kero bounded down the stairs, the steps banging at Syaoran's hips and ribs.

They joined Mizuki, who was fending off three sorcerers by herself, but she was faltering. Yue and Kero added to the effort, but the first sorcerer was coming down behind them. Kero let go of Syaoran, who used the reprieve to select the Shadow card. This time, he did not speak, instead simply hitting the card with the wand and directing his thoughts to it.

The living room, previously illuminated by the moonlight and streetlight streaming through the window, abruptly darkened. Syaoran reached out based on his senses and grabbed Kero by the scruff. Yue was nearby, and Syaoran gave him a push with the head of the wand. He also pulled Kero, who followed.

The sorcerers stopped firing spells; they were blinded by shadow. Syaoran located Mizuki and silently directed Shadow to break the windows. The glass shattered everywhere, and he made Shadow carry him and Mizuki through one of them. Once outside, the card cleared.

Dizzy with fatigue, limbs still numb from pain, Syaoran nevertheless ran for all he was worth. Ahead, the Kinomotos were huddled at the street corner, initially in a hushed but frantic argument. He saw Yue duck to grab the brother while Kero headbutted the sister. Syaoran stumbled after; Mizuki grabbed him before he could hit the ground. Shadow flew to him in card form; once again, he did not catch the card, though Mizuki did. The Loop flared in his heart, going into his right eye, as Yue pushed the elder Kinomoto past the line. He went next himself, then Kinomoto Sakura and then Kero. Mizuki and Syaoran crossed together, and the transition from street to the interior of his apartment left Syaoran confused and disoriented for a few seconds before he remembered to shut down the Loop.

Limbs shaking, teeth chattering, he collapsed where he stood, an awkward tangle of limbs that put too much pressure on one knee and pulled at the muscles of his back, but he could not move at all to adjust. His head felt like a lead weight, and his right eye watered. The sealing wand clattered from his hand.

He heard Kinomoto exclaim, " _Li-kun!_ " and then everything went dark.

* * *

Tomoyo called about an hour later, and very surprised to hear Sakura answering Li's phone. As everyone expected, the commotion at the house had led to frightened neighbors calling the police.

"We weren't going to avoid that one," her brother muttered when she related this information.

 _"What on earth happened?!"_ Tomoyo exclaimed.  _"Was there an accident?"_

"Not an accident," said Sakura. "Can you come over to Li's?"

_"Is your brother and father alright?"_

" _Otou-san's_ at the airport; probably in the air by now. _Oni-chan_ is with me. We're all fine."

 _"Oh thank goodness! I can't come over—I need to stay with_ _Oka-san. She really wants to see both of you."_

Sakura glanced at her brother, who was pouring some of his magic into Li's limp body.

"Don't tell her over the phone," Mizuki warned.

_"What's that?"_

"Listen,  _Tomoyo-chan:_ we're all fine, no one is hurt. We weren't at the house. We might head over to visit you later, but we need to take care of something first."

Tomoyo was silent for a moment.  _"Is Li-kun alright?"_

Sakura hesitated. "We're not sure."

Tomoyo paused.  _"I can't. I can't come over, Oka-san will ask—"_

"Don't come over right now. I'll keep you updated on what's happening."

_"Promise?"_

" _Hai._ "

"That's enough," Mizuki told Touya as soon as she hung up. "You always pour more magic in than what he actually receives. Much of it gets lost. He's stable now."

Touya leaned back, drained. Sakura was tired too; she had donated before him, after Mizuki. For some reason, Li seemed to require more this time.

"This," said the teenager, "is absolutely absurd. Am I to understand that if my sister had become master of these cards, I should expect near-death experiences every time she casts a spell and lunatics attacking her in our own home?"

Mizuki folded her arms. "That is impossible to tell,  _Touya-san_."

"Don't," Touya raised a finger, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. Once again, there was that rage, simmering. Sakura reached out to him, nervous. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it so tightly, it hurt.

"These are good wards," Kero noted. Either he was oblivious to how close Touya was to losing his temper, or he was choosing not to acknowledge it. Sakura had to admit that she was not sure which one was more likely. "They still haven't attacked us here. Did the kid put them up?"

"He has charms around the flat," Yue explained, looking at Touya but apparently choosing to follow Kero's lead.

"He does?"

"Likely brought over from Hong Kong. They must have a lot of faith in these charms, considering they didn't bother sending an adult."

"Well he did alright up till now."

"Up till now."

"What charms?" Sakura asked.

Yue pointed to two scrolls hanging on the wall; they were white silk canvas inscribed with black Chinese calligraphy. Somewhat more decorative than one would expect from the boy, though they were simple enough that Sakura had not noticed them before. "One is to fend off misfortune, the other is to maintain good health. They were very expensive when they were infused with magic, back in the day, because they are impossible to break unless you damage the scrolls themselves, or you invite misfortune."

Kero stared. "I've been in this apartment for about a week and I swear I have never seen these until now."

"They were originally a couplet," Yue reminded him. "The Four seasons; something droll. And they hadn't activated until now. I also only noticed them a few minutes ago, and only because I had wondered what he meant by wards."

Sakura stared. Magic had a tendency to break a lot of rules of logic, but she had no idea such things existed.

"They're still not very active. I don't sense any spell."

Mizuki stepped away from Li to study the scrolls.

"This is very subtle eastern magic," she murmured. "Not even magic, so much as they alter the state of reality. Not something one can sense. I'm impressed,  _Yue-san._ These are not easy to spot."

Yue did not dignify that with a response.

"This is crazy," Sakura exclaimed, trying to wrap her mind around this.

Mizuki returned to the couch to gather the boy into her arms, and lifted him effortlessly. It was a little odd to see Li, normally so strong and independent, being carried like a baby. The sight was unnerving, and Sakura swallowed as she watched the teacher deposit him into his room, while Kero and Yue continued to stare at the scrolls.

"Problem with wards like these," Kero said, half to himself, "is that you can't really depend on them completely."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"They're there to account for things you can't account for," he explained. "That's why they're so subtle, and often hidden behind an illusion. They can't do much if you invite a serial killer into your home on purpose. You still have to do your due diligence. If the kid kept the Loop card activated, for example, they wouldn't do a thing to keep those sorcerers out. They don't work like that. Something like hiding when you didn't leave any tracks; it's a very intelligent way to use the Loop card, all things considered."

"Better than nothing," Mizuki stepped out, keeping the door half open. "He needs to rest. We need to figure out what to do about those sorcerers."

"Right. What are we supposed to do about the fact that our house got broken in?" Touya suddenly demanded, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"The police would expect you to show up eventually," Yue said. "Perhaps we should address that."

"Any spells to direct the police away? Fix the house, at least?"

Silence.

"So our house gets damaged and we're just supposed to deal with it?" Touya looked at everyone in disbelief.

Kero's ears fell flat. "Well, what  _can_ we do?"

Touya let out an irritated huff and turned around to go to the doorway.

" _Matte—Oni-chan_ , what if the sorcerers are still there?"

"What are we supposed to do, hide over here while someone else occupies our home?"

"I'll go with you," Yukito said. Sakura was not sure when he transformed. He looked a little disoriented. After a moment, he added, "Other me wants to, just in case."

Touya did not reply. Sakura hurried after him.

"Right, I'll stay with the kid," Kero grumbled.

"I have to leave as well," Mizuki said apologetically.

"By myself!" Kero added. " _Kami-sama…"_

* * *

The car was still parked halfway to the Kinomoto residence.

"Great," Touya kicked at the air. "We have to go retrieve the car."

It was not the worst development that could have happened that night, but the boy was cracking under everything that did. Sakura huddled to the side, alarmed by her brother's behavior.

"I know.  _Gomen nasai._ " Yukito stared at him helplessly. He had never seen Touya behave this way, but then nothing like this had ever happened before.

"Our  _home_ was attacked by  _psychopaths,_ that  _kid_ almost died  _in my arms_ today and the car is all the way out there!"

"Whatever happens, we'll get through it together."

"I don't want Sakura anywhere near that kid from now on."

Yukito did not know what to say to this.

"Did you know that they were this dangerous? The cards?" And then, something seemed to snap within the boy. "Did you know that my sister would have to face these maniacs, Tsukishiro? Or should I ask the  _other_ you directly, the one hiding behind a 'false form' pretending to be my friend."

" _Oni-chan!_ " Sakura exclaimed in horror.

"Touya—"

"Because part of this is my fault. I get it," Touya spat, and his voice grew louder as he went on, "but at least I didn't know the whole story. I'm not some thousand-year-old magical being who is well-acquainted with the magical world. I trusted her with you. You were there all this time! You admitted it, don't try to lie to me now! You babysat her! We left her in your care! You  _know_ she is the  _world_ to me and you just sat by, waiting for her to run your little errands—for what? So she can end up like that boy? The one we spent the past hour trying to save from _death?_ Did  _he_ know what he was getting into? Does your Clow Reed make a habit of exploiting all children this way?!"

His veins seemed to freeze, as if ice were going through them, and deep within his heart Yukito could feel the curdle of sick that was coming from his other self—it was the first time he had ever  _sensed_ Yue this way, because before he had always been more like a thought, something barely there, even after Yukito first blinked in Li Syaoran's apartment and  _knew_ that things were changing—but it all mixed in with the wave of nausea that came from himself, and the ill, dazed nightmare that the past two weeks had been, from realizing he might not be able to stay in Japan, to the fact that there was a very real danger threatening all of them, and now…

Touya had never been angry at Yukito before. In all their years together, though the elder Kinomoto had some episodes of temper, they were never directed at Yukito.

"Touya," he whispered, his voice weak and faint, and his heart hammered in his chest— _is it even real?_ But the pain was nearly crippling, and it was hard to breathe.  _Is that all just a front too?_ "Touya, it's—I never meant—"

"Seven years! That's quite a lie you've got going—"

" _Oni-chan,_ it's not  _Yukito-san's_ fault—"

Touya raised a finger, pointing it right in Yukito's face. "Stay away from my sister. Stay away from us. From now on, if any of you are even within seeing distance of her, I will make you beg for death. I don't care how many wings your true form carries or how many teeth your stuffed-toy friend has; I will end you one way or another. Last I recall, your blood is red, so you can still bleed."

" _Oni-chan!_ "

"Stay away from my family and my home!" With that, Touya yanked Sakura by the arm and strode away. Sakura burst into tears, but her brother did not slow.

Yukito watched them walk away. He raised his arms to hug himself as he started trembling. Soon, the Kinomoto pair were out of sight, but Yukito remained on the sidewalk for a long time, staring after where they had gone.


	7. To the Block

Syaoran dreamed.

Watery, black like eschar, viscous and slimy with sagging features, rammed into the walls of the tomb, shattering the beautiful paintings. The Jump, wingless with patches of fur falling out, as if inflicted with mange, ducked in the shadows of the coffin lid. The Light, skin stretched tight across a deformed skull, patches of bald scalp scattered across the top of its head where its crown sat toppled to the side, reared up, opening its eyelids to reveal empty, hollow sockets.

At the sarcophagus, the cloaked man continued to clutch the desiccated corpse by the neck. The tomb shook, and debris showered from the tall ceilings. To the side, the Clow Book remained open, and more cards spilled out: Voice and Song, twisting together with black fog spilling from their eyes, nose, ears, and mouths; Rain and Storm, swirling together in a torrential downpour; Firey, eyes blazing and bits of lava-like flesh dropping from its face; Glow, limbs spindly like an insect's, pulsing a dark crimson. They crashed into the walls and flipped over the coffin lid and rammed into each other in a haze of mad fury. Reflecting from the ceiling and the floor, some escaped through the open door. Then Earthy loomed up from the ground and pushed into the ceiling, cracking it open, and the rest of the cards followed suit. They sped up and out in beams of poisonous magic and disappeared into the wide world.

Within the tomb, the cloaked man dropped the body on the ground. He turned and his body melted into the shadows.

* * *

"Clearly, Clow Reed was not the only one who thought Sakura Kinomoto was the heir," Eriol said thoughtfully when Kaho visited him to give him the night's updates. "If they targeted the Kinomotos so directly, then perhaps the Clow Book was originally fated to remain there."

Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon were deferentially silent, though Ruby Moon fidgeted restlessly; she had never been to Japan before, and really wanted to explore.

"She was supposed to have the Clow Cards, then?"

"It would appear so. Highly unlikely that both Clow Reed and this new foe would be misled, though it is still possible. Clow Reed was, ultimately just a man, and hardly obligated to know all of Fate's plans."

"What does this mean, then?" Kaho asked. "If Syaoran Li now possesses what was not meant for him, will there be forces that try to correct this?"

"He will not have the smooth inheritance Kinomoto would have had. That quiet, quaint, blissful incarnation of a Card Master. His will be tumultuous, at least at first. What happens after is hard to say. He has defied so many odds as it is, the hardest of which was existing in the first place. To be born into a world that had no place made for him—others would have died long ago, yet he lives, all limbs intact, missing neither tooth nor kidney. He may have more surprises in store. Not all of them may be good for us, or for the rest of the world."

Kaho paused. "Should we turn back time, then, and ensure the Final Judgment goes to its proper end?"

"No. To ensure that, we would have to go far enough to ensure Syaoran Li never was. He has done nothing to make me feel he deserves such a fate." Eriol looked at his guardians. "Besides, he elected to be a descendant of Clow. That makes him one of mine. I protect my own, and cherish them when I can."

"But the cards hurt him," said Kaho, "and his words worry me. I am concerned that the bonding hurts both ways, and the cards would be corrupted by whatever he is made of. Either way, it seems a disservice to allow things to remain as they are."

"Based on what you have told me," Eriol replied, "Syaoran Li is exactly what we need to avoid that kind of corruption. He was brought up to believe he was entitled to the cards, and when faced with the possibility of harming them, he is defying his own destiny. Their corruption is not his doing, at least not directly. As for these…intruders," he paused, and the air cooled with his anger, "they, I think, are both powerful and willing to defile the cards for their own gain. They are many, and are hidden from me at present. I will unearth them and deal with them as is appropriate. In the meantime, protect the children as best you can. Neither were supposed to face the challenges they have, or the ones yet to come."

 "Of course," Kaho inclined her head.

* * *

Sakura wanted to be angry with Touya, but there was no question that the rest of the night was much more trying for him than it was for her. The scene at their home was a controlled chaos, and much of the house's infrastructure had been damaged by spells, leaving bystanders perplexed as to what could have caused this pattern of destruction. Neither sibling were of majority, but because Sakura was only ten years old, Touya was the one who was interrogated extensively about what might have happened at the house. The interrogation, which should have sufficed after "I don't know", led to a three-hour-long session, while a kind policewoman fed Sakura a bento box and encouraged her to use this time to watch anime.

In the end, it was Daidouji Sonomi, using her considerable influence and considerable money, who got the Kinomoto siblings out of the police department. She came with a chauffeur to pick them up and drove them over to the mansion.

"Try not to worry," said their aunt. "I know it is all very distressing, and you are scared and stressed, but know that my home is your home, no matter what. When your father returns, he will be staying with me as well. You will have a roof over your heads until your home is repaired."

They thanked her, though neither felt much relief; there was too much going on, and both siblings were drained from donating their magic. Thankfully, Sonomi took this as a normal reaction to everything that had happened and did not question it.

Tomoyo was waiting at the mansion; she instantly gave Sakura a hug. Sonomi guided Touya to the bedrooms while Tomoyo led Sakura aside.

"Is he alright?" Tomoyo asked.

For a moment, Sakura was not sure if Tomoyo was referring to Li or her brother. " _Li-kun_ is alive." She looked after her brother, noting the dejected hunch of his shoulders, and was suddenly struck by an epiphany; Sakura had Tomoyo, but Touya had pushed away his best friend. Here, in Tomoyo's big house, Sakura could seek refuge in Tomoyo's companionship, but Touya really had no one here. Most of all, Touya  _needed_ someone right now; regardless of whether or not Sakura agreed with how he had reacted, her brother was clearly profoundly upset. Possibly even terrified.

" _Oni-chan_ needs me right now," she said quietly.

Tomoyo blinked, looking a little crestfallen, but understanding dawned quickly. "Let me know if you need anything."

Touya had generally been quiet since his outburst. His countenance was very impassive, and if Sakura had not witnessed how Touya had yelled at Yukito, she would have thought her brother unusually collected and unaffected by the whole ordeal. He responded to Sonomi's directions and words of encouragement appropriately but dispassionately, and regarded the guest room allocated to him with a defeated air. When Sakura joined him to regard the made bed, with its purple sheets and pastel walls, he did not acknowledge her at first. Then he stepped deliberately to the bed, where he sat, stiff and awkward. Sakura joined him there, and he suddenly wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her to him.

"It's going to be alright,  _Oni-chan_ ," Sakura promised. "We're alright."

Touya held her like she was his lifeline. For a long time, he was disturbingly silent. When he did speak, it was something different altogether.

"When  _Oka-san_ had you," he began, voice mostly in a whisper, but loud enough that Sakura heard him easily, "I had all these names in mind. I really wanted a little brother to play with. I was going to name him Oki, or Musashi, or what must be a hundred other names, all for boys.  _Oka-san_ laughed at me and told me that I would like you better if you were a girl. I didn't believe her. I thought I could somehow convince you to come out as a boy. I didn't understand, back then. I was six. I use to talk to you through  _Oka-san's_ stomach, and every morning before school I would give her a hug and a kiss and then a hug and a kiss—the second one was for you. Then you were born. You were a girl. I was so upset. I wanted you to do it over again and do it right this time. They took you away to perform tests and exams, and then they brought you back, swaddled in this pink blanket, with a pink little hat on your head.  _Otou-san_ picked you up and showed you to me. You opened your eyes and suddenly reached your arms out to me. Your hands were so small, but you had five delicate little fingers on each, and I was so fascinated. You kept grasping at the air towards me, so I reached out and took them. You wrapped those fingers around mine and held on.  _Oka-san_ then told me, 'This is your  _Imouto-san._ She is yours.' And you became mine from that day on."

Her brother was not disposed to saying such things, particularly as Sakura and he grew older. Sakura knew of the story before; her father had mentioned it in passing, laughing that newborns were practically blind and did not have the neural control necessary for as precise gestures as that, but there had been something, he said.  _"There was no question your brother was yours. You would always be so happy to see him. Sometimes he was the only one who could calm you down."_ After Nadeshiko died, Touya became something of a second parent, helping Fujitaka take care of the three-year-old Sakura and sacrificing playtime to babysit her.

" _Gomen nasai, Oni-chan,_ " she whispered.

" _Iie._ You have nothing to feel sorry for. You're just a kid." Touya sighed, but curled his head around hers when he might have let go.

"I'm glad you know now," Sakura confessed, and as she said it, she realized she really was. The past year had been glorious and exciting, and she had viewed keeping things from Touya to be a necessary part of it all, but now that she could confide in him, she realized how unhappy it had made her, because the relief was absolute. The only way this could improve was if Fujitaka also knew, but it had been easier to keep secrets from her father, and Sakura had always been closer to Touya anyway. "I wish I had talked about it with you sooner."

"Me too," Touya stated, and then released her, smoothing her hair. "You know you can tell me anything,  _Imouto?_ I hope today shows. I'll always be on your side. If anyone hurts you, doesn't matter who they are or what they are, I'll always be on your side."

He had been ready to punch a fourth-grader, Sakura remembered. And he had essentially chosen Sakura over Yukito, his best friend for the past seven years. Feeling like she was about to lose it, she could not help but quip, "Even if I kick you all the time?"

"You're  _my_  little _kaijuu_ ," and for the first time that night, he smiled, and rubbed the top of her head like she were a dog. Sakura giggled.

They had not slept in the same bed since Sakura was six, though before that Sakura had often crept into his brother's room to be held in the dark, particularly in the early days when their mother had first passed away. This time, they both agreed to do it without any form of discussion. Their aunt raised an eyebrow at this and gave Touya a particularly long stare, but ultimately seemed to decide this was somewhat expected. She gave Touya a new pair of pajamas, while Sakura borrowed a set from Tomoyo. By the time they changed, it was two in the morning.

Touya was out like a light. Sakura followed soon after, though she noted his exhaustion as she descended; Touya did not normally snore, but his breathing was particularly deep, and when Sakura turned in his arms, he did not move or wake.

* * *

The guardians remained awake for the rest of the night.

"He's just upset," Kerberus exclaimed between severe yawns, "he'll come around. Look, I'll talk to Sakura who will talk to him. She's not going to abandon the boy now." Said boy was still unconscious in his room. Kerberus had gone in several times to check and make sure the boy was still breathing. Yue had not.

"Touya does not want any of us near his sister."

"He's just  _saying_ that. His house got attacked. That equates with 'really awful night'. Besides, he's a seventeen-year-old. Seventeen-year-olds are morons."

"Touya's not a moron."

"He'll come around, if only because they can't just  _leave_ magic. It's part of who they are. And we are part of who they are."

Yue was not comforted.

"Give him time. I've lived with the kid. I know his habits. He likes to appear broody and tough; all teenage boys do. He also spent about fifteen minutes channeling his strength into the  _gaki_. Let him flip out for a little bit—their  _home_ was attacked and set on fire and whatever. You need to allow people to say ridiculous things every so often. You shouldn't hold them to their word."

"It's  _not_ ridiculous. He is right. The Clow Cards are a source of power that we were expecting Sakura to be able to handle. We expected her to handle both the responsibility  _and_ the attention."

" _We_ were going to deal with the attention," said the sun guardian, "while  _she_ handles the responsibility, and it would have worked. This latest business—it flew over all of our heads. And we didn't know it would be this crazy. The world has changed greatly from when Clow was alive. They don't hang, draw, and quarter their criminals anymore, even if they deserve it. Women can  _work_ , and with modern technology, everyone is practically a sorcerer already."

Yue looked away.

Saturday morning dawned, bright and golden. Mizuki Kaho visited once again. Yue still had not even taken a look at the boy, and refused to enter the bedroom when she went to check on him. Kerberus ended up following her in.

"Has he woken at all?" she inquired.

" _Iie._ Been under all this time."

"If he doesn't wake up soon, he is going to need to go to the hospital."

Yue shut his eyes, trying not to react as Touya had done when the teen realized the car was halfway to the house. Normally his composure was steadfast, but something about yesterday rattled Yue.

Maybe it was Yukito's utter despair. Yue was trying hard to ignore it, to ignore the fact that part of it was his own.  _He is just another mortal._ As was Li Syaoran. As was Sakura. On his deathbed, Clow had whispered,  _"You will find love and happiness again, my child."_ It was the only thing Clow got wrong in his wisdom; no one could compare to Clow. Yue had come to terms with it a long time ago, knew that there would never be anyone who would have the compassion, wisdom, and integrity as Clow Reed, and that his own existence would be a steady stream of twinkling lives that would come and go, fleeting as flowers in the spring. He was determined to harden his heart against the love he had for Clow, because he knew it would only end in pain.

But something about Touya's departure ripped at him.

"What happened with the Kinomotos?" Mizuki asked Kerberus in the room.

"Touya freaked out. Said he wanted nothing to do with us anymore. Yue's been moping ever since."

Mizuki came to Yue at that. "Touya is still a child," she said to him. "He had handled everything with relative aplomb. He doesn't mean it,  _Yue-san_."

Yue glared at her, wanting to deny everything, but could not bring the words out. Mizuki scrutinized him for a moment, before letting the matter go. She later left, entrusting the guardians with the proper care of the child.

The boy did wake at noon, looking pale and tired. Yue shut his eyes and pretended to ignore everything going on in the apartment. He felt the boy's silent regard for a long time, before he asked about the Kinomotos as well. Kerberus gave him the same spiel, minus Yue's reaction.

"Where are they now?"

"Not sure. They took off without Yue."

Li Syaoran knew where they would be with an immediacy that shed a lot of light on his relationship with Sakura. Without hesitation, he picked up the phone and called the Daidouji residence. Their maid was the one who picked up, followed by Daidouji Tomoyo.

" _Li-kun!"_ the girl's high-pitched voice was audible on the other end.  _"Daijoubu desu ka?"_

"I'm fine," he replied. "What about the Kinomotos? Are they with you?"

Daidouji was noticeably hesitant. " _Ano…hai,_ _they are, but—"_

"They are well?"

_"Well, hai—"_

" _Arigatou gozaimasu, Daidouji-san._ That's all."

He hung up, then rubbed his forehead for a moment, looking weary.

"How are you feeling?" Kerberus asked. "Are you hungry? After an episode like that, I'd expect you to be hungry. Yue can cook. This past week's been great. I had no idea he knew how to use the stove. Moon and fire aren't best friends."

Yue did not respond nor open his eyes. He did not want anything to do with the scene. Once again, he felt the boy's regard. It slid away without any words being said.

"How are the Clow Cards?" the boy asked.

"What do you mean?" Kerberus asked.

"How are they?"

Confused, Kerberus floundered, "Well, nothing much has happened since we brought you back. Mizuki and the Kinomotos spent about an hour pouring magic into you before Kinomoto stormed out." His voice lowered. "It was a near thing, kid. You need to watch yourself. Three is a special number, and the third time might be your last."

"I won't use the cards."

Something about the boy's tone implied a heavier meaning, but Yue could not bring himself to analyze for now. He heard the boy go to the kitchen, and Kerberus exclaim, "Yue! You think you can give us a hand here?" before the boy shushed him.

The moon guardian did not react. He felt very demotivated, and would have transformed into his false form if Yukito would not have been a sobbing mess. He wanted to be alone for a while, but the threat in Tomoeda compelled him to stay by his master's side. Still, short of an actual attack, Yue figured he could leave Kerberus to handle everything. Over the past week, the sun guardian had built some affection, at least, for the boy; they still traded insults more often than actual discourse, which still consisted mostly of Kerberus yelling at the boy about the cards, but Li Syaoran, unable to go outside to buy food for much of the week due to his health, had given Kerberus full access to his chocolate cache, and had gotten Kerberus his favorite pastries yesterday when he  _did_ leave the apartment. Kerberus tended to be full of himself, but he was not so unobservant as to not notice  _that._ Li Syaoran might never be the sun guardian's favorite option, but Kerberus would not abandon him now.

Not that Yue was. He just…needed some time.

* * *

Li was out of school for the following week.

To avoid the incident interfering with their studies, both Kinomoto siblings continued going to school, which was a harrowing experience. Over the weekend, the Daidouji household was flooded with calls; news had broken out, and people from both Tomoeda elementary and Tomoeda High were concerned. Touya had a number of admirers, whom he ignored, while Sakura dealt with the calls from their own classmates. Everyone expected the siblings to be the ones out of commission, so it was surprising that Li, who had already missed nearly a week of school, but had shown up on Friday looking as good as new, should be the one absent once again.

He never reached out to them. Based on what Sakura had told her, Tomoyo expected as much. Li was never the best with social interaction, though he had gotten better over the past year. Even so, his occasional missteps were not the result of selfishness or pride, as they originally seemed. Tomoyo had since learned that it was more because Li was very aware of others, and would often anticipate the feelings of other people before even they realize them, often at the cost of his own image. He knew Touya had warned Yukito away from them, had told Yukito that he wanted Sakura away from Li, and so Li respected that. He did not anticipate that Sakura might expect him to reach out despite her brother's conditions, that normal people would think of this as a courtesy rather than a trespass.

In many ways, Li Syaoran was too smart for his own good, though that was not new knowledge. Tomoyo spent most of the week thinking about it, how Li was better than most people and would be better than most men: he would never date a girl behind her parents' back, always kept his promises even at the expense of his own joy and comfort, and would silently do things for other people without taking credit; but he would always be viewed in a poor light just because he was not outgoing or charismatic and not overt about his generosity. She spent the whole week looking at her classmates, wondering if there were any she had ignored because they had not fit with the standards of cordiality and that was somehow a reflection of their poor nature, and wondering if there were any people she had chosen to befriend too closely, just because they were loud about how nice they were. It was always something Tomoyo had struggled with; her mother was so rich, and everyone often liked Tomoyo for her money. She was not necessarily good at judging character, but it was always something she worked on.

In the meantime, she was the main correspondence between Sakura and Li. Li never requested to speak to Sakura directly, though he always inquired after both Kinomotos and even Fujitaka, who had called Saturday morning after seeing the news—the man originally planned on flying right back home, but Tomoyo's mother hijacked the conversation and the two adults reached some kind of accord, leading to Fujitaka to maintain his original flight. Sakura was initially hurt by Li's silence, but she knew their friend well too, and once Tomoyo pointed out the situation, understood Li's position very well. She could not go about to change that though, because Touya was serious this time about staying away from the Clow legacy. He did not extend his authority over Tomoyo, but he was very adamant about keeping Sakura away. This would not have been a big issue to overcome, except Sakura had always looked up to her brother and did not wish to hurt him when he was clearly feeling vulnerable—and the only time Tomoyo could talk to Li was after school, which also happened to be when Touya was out of school. He usually had work, but for the week he would come directly home, so Sakura could not sneak behind her brother's back.

Their conversations were initially clipped, but evolved into lengthier discussions later on. Li was lonely; he never said, but Tomoyo could tell by the way he hungrily sought after how his friends were doing. He opened up more as the days went on, revealing the initial hardships of passing the Final Judgment, the following days of doubt when everyone around him had been so unhappy instead of proud of him.

 _"It was really only Yue,"_ he told Tomoyo.  _"He was suddenly always around. Kero wanted nothing to do with me, of course, and I knew Sakura was very disappointed. Even Yue had issues with this development; his false form is so rooted in Tomoeda. If I picked up and moved back to Hong Kong immediately, that would have left them floundering, and Sakura would have gained nothing from this past year. So I told my mother that there were too many loose ends in Japan. We had a long argument."_

Li never explained what he had been doing at home before the Clow Cards escaped, but he did mention that they were old unfinished business left by his father, whose expected but untimely death led to a gross disruption of affairs. His father was also a Li, but the Li clan in Hong Kong was actually his mother's family. Whatever business this was had to do with some agreement between Li senior and his in-laws, and was something Li Syaoran was expected to fulfill. It was apparently an ongoing issue and revolved around magic. Li Syaoran had been allowed a brief respite due to the cards, which were also, from what Tomoyo could gather, supposed to help with this unfinished business. Li Yelan initially believed her son was trying to dodge his duties, but had relented when Li stood firm on the issue.  _"I had never stood my ground with her before,_ _"_ he confessed.  _"She thought coming to Japan was starting to make me rebellious, and I wanted to stay comfortable on my own instead of fulfilling my responsibilities to my family, but I usually break down when she makes these accusations. She knew I was serious when I told her that she could think that of me if she wants, but I am still needed here."_

Li did not know it, but this story profoundly saddened Tomoyo, enough that Touya had noticed. When he questioned her, Tomoyo could not keep it to herself. It was probably, in hindsight, something Li had told her in confidence, but she gauged that Touya was hardly going to blather this to everyone, and she doubted Li would really care what Touya thought of him, in light of everything that had happened. So she told Touya about Li's normal character, how he was always punctual at school, got good grades, never got into schoolyard fights, and if he was not sociable, at least he never broke any rules or got into trouble. He came to Japan all on his own, faced with a new culture and new language, tasked with capturing a magical power that was strong enough to lead to the problems of today, all to wrap up something his father had left behind—and yet despite all of that, these clear examples of discipline and responsibility, his own mother still questioned his integrity.

"Do you think anyone ever told him that he was good?" Tomoyo wondered. "Or did they just accuse him of being bad even when he clearly isn't?" Why would Li celebrate his own good parts if everyone only saw parts? "Does his mother really think so badly of him?"

Touya looked grim, but he gave her a quick hug. "Sometimes adults say things to dig out what isn't obvious. I think his mother must have been a smart woman, to have a son as smart as Li. She clearly doesn't think as poorly of him as you say, because she did let him come here on his own, right? That requires a lot of trust. Sometimes people say these sort of things not because they actually believe them, but because they want to provoke a reaction. It's the reaction they're looking for, not validation. And I think Li passed the test. We don't know if everyone is always accusing him of being bad. We don't have the whole story. We just have this one example."

But she could tell he did not believe this, because he was visibly saddened too, enough that his sister noticed. Unlike Tomoyo, Touya did not reveal the story to Sakura, though probably because he actually did not trust her to maintain her composure. Sakura was a rather open book; even when she knew she needed a mask on, people always knew. It was really a wonder she managed to keep the Clow Cards secret from the rest of her friends.

* * *

In the week that followed, Syaoran slept a lot and refused to use the cards. In a curious role reversal, Kero became the main guardian constantly hovering around him, while Yue remained distant and disinterested. Syaoran was not sure which way he preferred; Yue was intimidating, but Kero was annoying. The guardian was more interested in getting his own point across than listening to what Syaoran had to say. It made for a lot of pointless one-sided arguing, while Syaoran did his best to ignore the stuffed toy. The only peace he got was when he was talking to Daidouji.

Mizuki Kaho ended up obtaining a lot of information about the attackers.

"They're a clan from Japan," she told him, "the Kikutakes; Chrysanthemums. As such their magic is mainly powered by the moon, like most Asian sorcerers. Clow Reed had never run into them because they rose into prominence long after his passing, but their ancestors presided over the Muromachi period from behind the scenes. They never had official court positions, but they produced powerful sorcerers who influenced many of the Emperors from a religious standpoint. They were also the reason for the period's decline, as their own powers grew weaker and other clans rose in prominence, but recently they have gotten very _very_ powerful. They number in the hundreds—we've only seen a tiny fraction, probably because they haven't felt the need to send more. They have been seeking the Clow Cards for years. They've had clashes with many of Clow Reed's descendants over the centuries, most recently the Saunders in the United Kingdom."

"If they've never come across Clow Reed, what do they want with his cards?" Kero asked. "Clow took pains to ensure the cards were not widely known."

"Supposedly, through one of the Chinese clans. During the Muromachi period, the Kikutakes had a lot of contact with the Ming. At some point, they must have learned of the cards and what they could do. They only sought the cards after the period's fall."

"They're very strong," said Kero. "They cut through Yue's shield. That takes a great deal of magic. We barely made it out of there alive."

"That's the thing," Mizuki agreed. "There has been talk, though nothing proven, that the modern Kikutakes did not come by their strength through normal means."

"What are you saying?"

"There is a way of bastardizing the  _harae_ ," said the shinto priestess, "and instead of purifying, it strengthens, at least temporarily. Most sorcerers know better than to do this, but there are always a few…and nothing is proven, as I said, but among some circles, there are casual off-handed whispers that the Kikutakes may be practicing this form."

"How would it even work?" Syaoran asked.

"They draw magic from an outside source into them," said Mizuki. "Often people, but sometimes magical artifacts as well. The Clow Cards would be a good source. This power can last one or two, even three generations and be passed down the bloodline before needing to be resupplied."

"That sounds far-fetched. Where would they get enough people or artifacts to power them enough?" Kero asked. "I mean if they are all this powerful and it's all because they've been stealing magic, there wouldn't be artifacts left and a lot of people would be reporting kidnapping with cultist rituals. How would they get away with this just being a rumor?"

Syaoran suddenly stood and made for the bedroom.

"Kid?" Kero exclaimed, bewildered.

He shut the door behind him, hard, and then leaned against it. He was hyperventilating already, and all at once, he dearly,  _dearly_ wanted to go home. After all that effort convincing his mother that he had to stay, now he wanted nothing more than to leave Japan, to get away from this place.

 _"What's wrong with him?"_ He heard Kero remark.

Mizuki's reply was defeated.  _"I had hoped to imply the topic without directly addressing it."_

_"Eh? What topic?"_

Her voice went even quieter.  _"There was a way. The clan's power now could be completely powered this way from that time; if it's true. Which it probably was. They could ruin countless artifacts, drain tens of thousands of people. No one would question why they're gone."_

 _"Nani?"_ Kero exclaimed. Syaoran did not hear Mizuki's response, but then Kero did not utter another sound.

After a long time, he heard footsteps, and Mizuki's voice sounded through the door.

" _Syaoran-san_ ," she called. "I know you are upset. I know these past few days have been upsetting. I'm sorry I had to bring this up, at a time like this. I know you don't feel safe. I want  _you_ to know: whatever you might think, you are one of us. You have family in Tomoeda, stronger than you know, and we will defend you to our last breath. Please do not doubt that."

 _What family?!_ Syaoran wondered, and for the first time since coming to Japan, he wanted to cry. He had no family here. Kinomoto Sakura was his only real friend with magic, and her brother wanted her to have nothing to do with him. He was stuck with two guardians, one of whom despised him, the other was at most indifferent, if he was not blaming Syaoran for everything that had happened. Mizuki was the only other sorceress, and she was only his teacher. Before the Final Judgment, Syaoran had never been more than civil with her. How could he depend on her?

He had no one. And right now, he did not even have his magic.

After a moment, he heard Kero say,  _"So how are we going to get rid of those gaki?_ "

Kaho withdrew from the door to address Kero. Yue remained silent.

Syaoran did not come back out for the rest of the conversation.

* * *

The Chrysanthemums did not remain idle after ransacking the Kinomoto residence. Having absolutely no clue of who might possess the cards and possessing no direct way of finding out, they resorted to logic and actually targeted Clow Reed's old mansion.

It was not an unreasonable target, but it was still surprising. Clow Reed's mansion had the same kind of wards as Li's apartment, and it was not easily located. Eriol and his guardians were caught off-guard inside the mansion, though they were able to avoid detection. Rather than mounting a defense, however, Eriol opted to be discrete, much to the dismay of Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun. They protested, but he was firm, and they never went against his direct order. The result was a night-long game of hide-and-seek, where Eriol and his companions would retreat out of view, all the while observing the activities of the sorcerers; it was how they figured out their identities.

The intruders left empty-handed; Clow Reed did not leave anything of value at the mansion. What artifacts he had retained, he passed down to his children, and these were scattered around the three continents. The house itself only protected some furniture, initially covered with dust—the absence of which made the Kikutakes very suspicious. Unlike the Kinomoto residence, the mansion was left largely undisturbed—something which might have happened, it sounded, if Kero had been graced with better stealth, but sneaking around was never something consistent with a guardian of the sun, so Eriol dismissed any regrets on behalf of Clow.

After they left, Eriol had a feeling they would return periodically to check on the place, and removed himself and his guardians from the premises. Kaho insisted they move to her apartment, which was a touch crowded with the guardians, but they made it work, despite much griping from Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun.

After delivering their findings to the new Card Master, Kaho then inquired whether they should reveal Eriol's presence in Tomoeda.

Eriol was indecisive. The benefit of remaining unknown was that he could intervene from the outside, and be the factor that no one accounts for. On the other hand, revealing his presence could potentially be an advantage; he could be the red herring these sorcerers chase after, and with Clow's memories and magic to back him up, he could buy Li Syaoran a lot of time to recover. The boy's current state certainly argued for the latter; he could use more emotional support, based on Kaho's report.

"They are all very rattled. All of them. Even Yue. It's been two weeks and they don't seem to know how to behave around one another. And the boy avoids even looking at the Clow Book, which is fine for now, but they really need some pushing, which I don't know how to give."

"My presence may comfort the little one," Eriol pointed out, "but the main problem is his relationship with the guardians. Cerberus and Yue are both very stubborn. It was necessary as part of their nature, for there was no other way I could ensure they are able to fulfill their duties. However, if Li Syaoran has trouble bonding with them, the last thing he needs is their old master, whom they had loved and mourned and viewed as their lord and creator, back from the dead and interfering. What they probably  _really_ need is to get out of Tomoeda and to Hong Kong, where they are to build a new life anyway."

Kaho was unhappy with this suggestion.

"Leaving with unfinished business would be even worse," she noted. "Yue cares for Touya. If they leave the way things are now, he would always pine after him and what could have been. And Li Syaoran cares for Sakura, as does Keroberus."

"No, they can't leave yet. If they leave without being followed, Tomoeda still has to deal with this menace and Sakura might be hurt. If they leave and are followed, the boy could easily be killed. We have to keep them in one general area to better protect them."

For now, Eriol chose to focus on unearthing the Chrysanthemums' base of operations. This was somewhat difficult to do; Tomoeda had its share of visitors, and unlike Eriol himself, the Kikutakes did not look foreign. They also hid their signatures well; Eriol could not find them based on sensing. One option would be to use the boy's  _rashinban_ , which was very good at detecting magic, but the problem with such compasses was that they functioned like a probe, which can be felt both ways. Eriol would prefer to use more subtle methods first, before resorting to something that would give them away.

Li Syaoran's recovery remained alarmingly slow. Kaho noted that his stamina was significantly reduced, and after a week from the attack, he was still not safely restored enough to use the Clow Cards. She had managed to obtain from Yue some information he had gotten from Li Yelan, one of which was very interesting.

"Sleeping moon magic," she summarized, "which refuses to wake. Do you suppose this is what has been reacting violently with the cards?"

"His right eye was the one that was hurting?" Eriol frowned. "And the cards bonded through his right eye?"

"That is strange too," Kaho allowed. "I had not paid particular attention to that, in light of everything else. What do you suppose this means?"

"The right eye represents the sun," Eriol mused. "The left eye represents the moon. Ancient Egyptians connected the right eye to Ra, the sun god. The cards bonded through his right eye…but he has moon magic."

"So it appears."

"He has moon magic that he can use to cast spells…but it's asleep." This did not make sense. "And the cards bonded through his right eye." The Clow Cards were not supposed to bond through the eye, and if they did they should bond through both eyes, not one.

After pondering on the issue for a long time, Eriol finally relented. "I think," he announced to Kaho, "I might have to pay a visit to Hong Kong."

He loathed to leave Tomoeda with the situation at hand, but Li Syaoran's well-being was as much tied to his own magic as it was to the safety of his surroundings. Eriol was not making much headway with the Chrysanthemums, while Li was taking much too long to recover his reserves. One of these had to progress, which meant that Eriol might have to pay a call to the Li clan.

"You can't just call?" Kaho asked unhappily.

"I'm not Yue, whom they know of. They wouldn't believe me if I told them I have Clow's memories. I need to see them in person."

"Li Yelan sounds like a formidable woman. She might be difficult to deal with."

Eriol did not dignify that with a response.

* * *

The next target the Chrysanthemums selected was the Daidouji Mansion.

They should have seen this coming, and in hindsight, none of them could determine why this possibility escaped all of them. Perhaps because at the time, they were all preoccupied with other matters. Mainly, Syaoran and his guardians became embroiled in an intense quarrel.

It started when the boy wanted to buy groceries. Kero did not want him out of the apartment. Having been cooped up for a week, Syaoran was losing his mind, and did not think much of this precaution.

"Lots of people are out and about, even with the Chrysanthemums," he pointed out. "Some of them out there are even Chinese. I have no magic, true, so I can't face them head on, by why would they attack me in broad daylight? They think the Card Master is Sakura. They shouldn't even notice me."

"They," Yue reminded him, "saw you use the Clow Cards at the Kinomoto residence. It might have been dark, but between the lights of the spells, it is fair to assume that they saw your face. They can follow you back here, and none of your scrolls will be able to protect you."

"I hardly caught their faces while we were running around, plus I think they were much more concerned with  _fighting."_

"It's too  _risky,_ " Kero enunciated. "It's your fault for not recovering sooner, _gaki_. Deal with it."

He had not meant that literally, but this was the wrong thing to say anyway.

"I'm not going to trap myself like some caged bird," the boy spat. "And I won't allow these crazy people to keep me from doing what I need to do! I'm not going to hide here forever like—like a  _coward!_ " He grabbed his wallet and made for the door.

"Don't you dare," Yue's voice sliced through the air, cold as frost. "If you go out there, you throw away all of our efforts to keep you safe."

"Sometimes being safe should not be the priority," Syaoran bit back, sick and tired of the situation. And there was truth to it, but it was not what his guardians wanted to hear. As he reached to open the door, Yue suddenly felt a blaze of fury. He recalled Kero's words when this all started. _"_ _The little bastard thinks he's so wonderful; always has! He doesn't appreciate the likes of us, because to him we're not human, we're beneath him, and he'll trample over us until he finally kicks the bucket—"_ and all of the sudden he could see it, the utter lack of appreciation for what the guardians had sacrificed: Kero leaving Sakura, Yue losing Touya, and this selfish decision to head out into danger and force his guardians to flock out after him. Though he had argued with Kero before, this time Yue agreed with the sun guardian: Sakura would never place the guardians in such a position. All at once, he felt intense regret: he should have allowed Sakura to go first. She was the one who had been clearly destined for the cards; Li Syaoran was the backup, the odd variable, the unexpected factor. If only he had allowed Sakura to go first, none of this would have happened.

In a flash, he went up to Syaoran, and grabbed the boy's wrist just as he was about to turn the doorknob. He flung the child back; the boy stumbled, barely keeping his balance.

"You are not going anywhere," the moon guardian whispered.

"What are you doing?" the boy hissed, eyes hard. "Step aside."

_We're not human to him. We're beneath him. See how he treats you like a servant. Didn't Clow warn you about this?_

"You think becoming the master of the cards gives you the right to order us around?"

"I don't expect you to follow my orders," Syaoran bit back, "but I defeated you once. I can do so again."

He made for the door again. Yue blocked him and pushed him back, violently enough that the boy fell. A flash of remorse followed this—Yue had not meant to push that hard, but the boy's reaction was a bigger surprise—he cast a fire spell.

Yue blocked it easily, but the action triggered his anger again. Unable to actually harm his master, he did the only thing he could: he pressed his hand hard against Syaoran's forehead and willed him to sleep.

Syaoran sank down like a log, so quickly that Yue was alarmed. He had forgotten that the boy's magical reserves were low. The fire spell alone would have knocked him out.

"Yue," Kero began after a moment, sounding uncertain and very frightened, "why did you do that?"

Yue was startled as well. Finding nothing better to say, he replied, "I am tired of him."

And he really was. Syaoran was not the only one getting sick of staring at the walls of the flat. Both Yue and Kero were getting stir-crazy, and yet  _they_ were able to keep their minds on track.

"Yue…" Kero trailed off a little as Yue picked him up to deposit him in the bedroom, before resuming, "he's just a child. You didn't have to get that angry with him."

Yue had no idea what to do with the guilt that followed this statement. It was worse when later, he heard the child sobbing in his room for an hour. Neither he nor Kero knew how to comfort him, so they did not try.

Things were not the same after that. Syaoran eventually left the room, but he ignored both guardians, pretending they were not there. He did not join Kero for meals, and ignored Kero when the sun guardian tried to make conversation with him. He did not try to leave the apartment again, but they almost wished he did, just so they could have a chance to approach this correctly. Yue tried using Yukito's form to salvage the situation, but Syaoran treated Yukito in exactly the same manner: he refused to make eye contact or acknowledge anything Yukito said or did. When Yukito accidentally brushed Syaoran's shoulder, the boy flinched back as if burned.

" _Gomen nasai_ ," Yukito tried to apologize, not only for the unwanted contact but also for what had happened before. But Syaoran did not want to hear this from Yukito, which Yue did not realize. He did not allow Kero to touch him either, even though the sun guardian had not been the one to hurt him, and once frequently curled up on Syaoran's shoulders and head.

Such was the dynamic when the Kikutakes attacked. As soon as Syaoran sensed the spell, he grabbed his lace and his Taoist paper charms. His magic was still low, especially after his fire spell, but when he made for the door, neither guardian had the will to argue.

And that was how they lost Syaoran to the Chrysanthemums.

 


	8. Clow Reed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is kind of dark.

Li Yelan, Eriol found, was a beauty of a woman. Mother of five, she was as slender as a willow sapling, but with a back of steel. She was the complete opposite of Madoushi; poised and tempered and slow to anger. She had great power, as strong with the moon as Eriol was with the sun.

Their magic did not complement well. Eriol was more fond of her when she was absent than when she was present. He suspected she felt likewise; some things could not be helped. As they both had adult dispositions, they were able to interact civilly enough, but they would never be comfortable with each other. Rather tragic, Eriol thought. He would have liked to add Li Yelan to his company from time to time.

Entering the Li territory required great ceremony. He and his guardians were shown in from the gates; thick wood painted deep, rich red, to the pale white footways slept clean of dirt and dust. Within was a courtyard leading to a grand building, on which was written, "Court of the Blessed". It was an outer court, which the servants bypassed, but Eriol could see the interior, a tall altar across the main doors and pillars donned with embroidered silk. They were led around the corner to the back where tall jasmine trees grew, their fragrance filling the air with a sweetness that could never be found in England. Behind, along the sides, were residential buildings, and then they were taken to the Inner Hall, where they found Li Yelan presiding over a grand court.

They were announced, first, as if before royalty. Inside, Li Yelan sat behind a desk made of dark violet wood. Behind her was a figure of a mythical creature—a  _qilin_ , with scales of iridescent colors and eyes made of amber. Along the sides stood some of the clan; no children, Eriol noted. They wore the traditional robes of the Han, though with variations; some were of the early dynasties, of which Clow was more familiar. Others were more modern; the Song dynasty, or the Ming. Some even wore the Qing, with the collar that much of the western world associated with the Chinese. It made his outfit; business casual with a tie, appear almost insufficient. Fortunately, Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were imposing at his sides, more so because both were instructed not to speak. They were there for appearances only, not to participate in discourse. One thing his guardians were good at, despite their varying natures, was following orders.

When he came close enough, he stopped and bowed, low, as an English gentleman. "Lady Li," he greeted, "my name is Eriol Hiiragizawa."

"Mr. Hiiragizawa," Li Yelan returned. "Why do you seek our audience at this time?"

Eriol waited a beat, before releasing his aura, allowing the nature of his magic to be felt. "I am the carrier of Clow Reed's legacy," he introduced. Beside him, he sensed a few of the clan members flinch. Then he drew the aura back into himself, so that it was present but not as overt. "I come because of the cards."

Li Yelan's eyes narrowed. "Clow Reed," she intoned, half to herself. She had placed his signature, he could tell. She should; if Li Syaoran possessed the  _rashinban_ , then she should recognize his aura. Her eyes flicked to Ruby Moon, then Spinel Sun, and she appeared to consider something. Then she rose from her seat, pushing the chair back with her legs. "Our guests visit from afar," she announced. "Delighted are we, at such an honor. I bid you welcome on behalf of my family." She inclined her head, though she did not bow.

Eriol did the same. "Forgive our intrusion. At your convenience, I have grave matters to discuss with you."

"I will be with you shortly," Li Yelan promised. She turned to one handmaiden and ordered her to take Eriol to a chamber that was appropriate for conversation. Eriol was led away while the matriarch wrapped up business. She was quick; not a half an hour had passed before the servants announced her arrival.

The girls brought tea; four pretty young ladies with soft amber eyes and their mother's figure. It was good tea too; being British, Eriol had a weakness for it. He made a note to inquire about it, so that he might bring a bag home.

"It seems my son is causing quite the stir," said the matriarch, as the four girls bowed and retreated. The handmaidens lingered, ready to serve, but also acting as eyes and ears. She and Eriol sat on Ming-style chairs, with a small table between. It was good wood and good design, and would likely cost a fortune. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun stood at Eriol's side.

"I had expected him to be here by now," Li Yelan went on. "Instead, Clow Reed himself comes before me."

"I am not Clow Reed," said Eriol. "I bear his power and his memories, but we are not the same."

She raised an elegant eyebrow. "What is a man, except his memories and his abilities? But perhaps you are more than just Clow Reed, and a little less. Freed from many of his obligations and his duties, and burdened with new ones."

Eriol paused, and then relented. "Perhaps not so different after all."

"What brings Clow Reed to the Li clan?"

"His heir," Eriol replied. "And his descendant, of sorts. In his day, Clow Reed claimed his mother's family more so than his father's. Your son is more than a surprise to just you, Lady Li."

"Indeed?"

Eriol sipped his tea and tried to decide how to begin.

"I'm told that he was not fortune-told," he stated, "and that he is made of something most people aren't. Something about coming from a place not known, having power that can't be tapped. Trading his father's life for his own."

Li Yelan was very quiet, her face hard and inscrutable. She had not heard enough to deem it necessary to reply.

"Later in life," Eriol decided to digress, "Clow Reed had a visitor, on a sunny day in what will now be Tomoeda. A little girl, ten going on eleven years old, with a little round head and two wide eyes, awestruck at the world. This little girl shadowed him, asking dozens of questions in a language not spoken in such a form back then. She was bright, both in mind and heart, inquisitive and full of wonder. She stayed only for a little while, for she had somewhere else to be, but Clow kept her in his heart until his death, and I kept her in my mind as I lived."

Li Yelan looked away. She knew what was coming next.

"Thousands of years later, I get a phone call. There's a little girl with a little round head and two wide eyes, full of laughter. She spent a year with Clow's proudest creations, wielding his charms and his tokens. but there's another child, a little boy, with a little round head and two wide eyes. He, I am told, showed up out of nowhere, baffling everyone present. I thought, fate works in mysterious ways. Who knows what part this boy will play? Perhaps nothing at all. I did not keep him in mind, nor did anyone else. Then I learn that he had taken what I had planned to be hers. So I thought, there are two possibilities. One: Clow Reed was wrong after all. Perhaps the little girl came from another timeline, another reality. This might be true. Or two: the boy is a temporary master, and will somehow pass the cards to her. Now, if the latter is true, he might do so one of two ways. He might give them to her…or she might inherit them from him."

Li Yelan did not react.

"What is he, Lady Li?" Eriol demanded.

Li Yelan slammed the teacup down on the table. "Why does it matter?" she demanded right back. It was a calculated release of her control, which Eriol had to admire, for it had the intended effect: he was startled, as were his guardians, who did not suppress their alarm as well as he had.

"If he is a demon given flesh, what would you do?" the woman accused. "Would you end him now, to fulfill your own prophecy? If he's a changeling come here for refuge, would you cast him whence he came? His little head is just as round as your precious girl's, his eyes as filled with wonder, and if he comes from a shadowed past, who are we to fling him back? He was born as innocent as any other babe and he remains as any other child, foolish yet hopeful. What would you have me say?"

"I will know what he is," Eriol said evenly, "and for his sake as well. If he is a demon given flesh, or a changeling come for refuge, you will tell me, so I may address him so. You forget, Lady Li: the Clow Cards were spun out of many trials. So these trials continue, and not all who face them live to tell the tale." He then gentled his words. "I come as family, Lady Li. I claim your son as one of mine. Clow's creations were meant to give joy to a little girl who came to his home. Instead, they are causing a little boy immense pain. I wish to know why."

"He is an ordinary boy," Li Yelan replied quietly. "He is fond of chocolate, and tender towards all things small and weaker than he. He once rescued a hatchling that died late in the night. He wept for hours and asked me if he had been the one who killed it. There is not an evil bone in his body. All the things that are suspicious merely happen around him, not because of him. His father dies decades before he should; people sicken years before they should. They point to him, and expect me to do the same. But most of the time he is unobtrusive, often even invisible. He would allow himself to be hurt instead of fighting back. It infuriates me to no end, but I cannot ask him to defend himself; others would use any excuse to get rid of him for good."

Eriol swallowed. "And the sleeping magic?"

"Ah."

She leaned forward and stood, the silks of her gown sweeping from the seat. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun turned their heads to follow her as she slowly paced across the room, hands held behind her with a casual ease that belied her earlier show of temper.

"That is something we never understood. My son is not the strongest of sorcerers; his powers have yet to fully mature. He performs adequately most of the time, and some of the time very well. But he seems to have more power than he can use."

"What do you mean?"

"We have an exercise," she lifted a hand, and a few books levitated into the air. "Holding an object perfectly in place for a duration of time. It takes both mental effort and magical reserve." She allowed them to drop. "Once, as punishment, he was sentenced to levitating a boulder in the garden until he drops it, after which he would receive the same number of lashes to his hands as there were hours till sunset. It was summer, and through the high heat of noon, he kept it in midair until nightfall."

Eriol's jaw nearly dropped open. For a long moment, he was speechless. He hardly knew where to start. Ruby Moon, ever the compulsive one, did actually gasp, and Spinel Sun's ears rose in his shock.

"He was six years old," Li Yelan murmured, looking out the window and into the garden, where the wind rustled over the pond, shimmering the water into ripples.

"Such methods were never employed even in Clow's day," Eriol said lowly.

"There are monsters around us, and in our future," said Li Yelan without looking at him. "I would surround him with silks and soft velvets, give him bright, shining jewels and all things that make him laugh; provide for him so he may live his days in endless comfort—but there are those who do believe him demon-born. Since the death of his father, we are watched very closely. I strike hard at him so others cannot strike harder. Each blow on him pains me ten-fold, but I cannot bear it if others lay a hand on him."

Eriol set aside his tea. His mouth tasted like ash.

"The Clow Cards were meant to be his salvation," said the matriarch. "Why else would I send him on his own? I knew, just as well as you, the cards were meant for no one born of Li. I hoped my son would surprise me, as he often does. As he did."

"A gamble," said Ruby. She was echoing his thoughts, but Eriol gave her a warning look, and she went quiet again.

Li Yelan turned around and spread her arms wide, allowing her sleeves to extend like wings. "Don't we all, Hiiragizawa? Do you really blame me?"

She was a cruel woman, Eriol determined. Far crueler than Madoushi, who had been almost evil in her twilight days. But unlike Madoushi, who turned out to be supercilious under that sweet facade, Li Yelan was a good woman, who had hardened to protect herself and those close to her. He absolutely believed that she did feel ten times the pain her child suffers, and did not question that she definitely loved him.

"So he has more magic than he can access at any time," he changed the subject. "A form of…magical stenosis."

"One might say," Li Yelan agreed, lowering her arms.

"How much magic does he have?" Eriol asked.

"I do not know. I have yet to determine its limits."

The sun sets later in the summer. If the boy had started at noon, he would still have had to keep the stone airborne for more than seven hours. Even Clow Reed would have given out by the first hour. This explained some things, like why the boy would recover some of his magic so quickly, and why he always seemed to have less reserve than he should to be able to use the Clow Cards. He would be able to exhale a slow, steady stream of magic for an indefinite amount of time, but a quick expulsion of one, like the battle at the Kinomoto residence, would snuff him out—just enough for him to pass out. And then feeding him magic would be of little effect; all of it would just go to this reservoir, which would just expand like a bladder without being accessible.

 _What a strange condition._ And potentially very useful to the wrong kinds of people.

He stood. "I thank you, Lady Li, for this very useful information. It has been most enlightening."

She extended one arm. There was something mocking about the gesture, and filled with bitterness. "I am always honored to serve an ancestor."

"The honor is mine," said Eriol, "to be graced with the mother of my heir. And as a gesture of good will, for knowledge is a gift among the knowing, I would like for it to be known:" he slowed his words so the handmaidens would hear, and may spread them to the rest of the clan, "I do so claim Li Syaoran as my heir, and promise my wrath upon those who do him harm. This I swear, by the Sun and Moon, the Sky and Earth, and all that dwell between. If he lives worse for being a Li, I will rename him." He regarded her. "Do you understand?"

Li Yelan smiled. It was completely devoid of mirth, and her eyes were as cold as ice. He expected no less, for she was a powerful woman who did love her son. "You will not take him from me," she said.

"I hope not," Eriol replied, and bowed; his words were meant as much to comfort as they were to warn, and Li Yelan deserved the respect she was due—she was, after all, the mother of the new Card Master. 

He turned and left without another word, his guardians following behind. Li Yelan did not stop him.

* * *

 "That is  _insane_ ," Ruby declared. "Never mind the magic required; what six-year-old has that kind of attention span?"

"Even  _you_ don't have that kind of attention span," Spinel quipped.

"He did not want to be hurt," Eriol replied, which only ignited the guardians further.

"What kind of  _mother_ does that?"

"One who would kill her husband to save him," he said grimly. "Remember: they knew he will die. More importantly, they knew why."

The guardians wavered at this.

"That's  _sick_ ," Ruby then announced, leaping forward; she was smarter than her usual impression. "Clow's mother's family really declined over the centuries."

"I doubt it would have been much better back then," Eriol pointed out. "Life was both more sacred and less, back then. It would have been acceptable to kill a child if he posed a threat to the clan. Even more so if that child belonged to another. Likely, Li Yelan's methods secured her son from even greater harm. She would give up warmth and affection for that which is most important to her: her son's well-being."

"So much for that," said Spinel. "He's nearly died twice now, thanks to her methods."

"I don't think so," said Eriol. "I think he would have died if he were anyone other than who he is, but his mother knows him. She's actually placed a great deal of faith in his abilities, and I don't think it's misplaced. But she does not know about the Chrysanthemums. That was her only oversight." One he intended to correct.

Following his thoughts, Ruby then inquired, "Master Eriol, are you really planning on adopting our little wolf pup?"

"Ugh," Spinel exclaimed. "At least wolves are better than dogs, but must you  _say_ that?"

"If it comes to it," Eriol said gravely. "She will fight me, for she is not a perfect woman, and a mother's first instinct is to keep her child close, no matter the circumstances. But she will not come after me if I win. For now, though, he remains his mother's ward. For whatever reason, his spirit elected to be her son. I will respect that."

"So what  _would_ make you take him from her?" Spinel asked.

"What I said," Eriol growled. "I stake my claim and announce my involvement. Should anyone lay a hand on him—even Lady Li Yelan—I will teach what it means to anger Clow Reed."

But the truth was, he was already angry. He had never met Li Syaoran, had only heard of him, but he had a feeling he knew as much as he would had they come face to face. A boy with unusual determination, who would push past his limits and past his endurance, who was not use to friends and those who believed in him, and would return from Tomoeda to  _this_ : a family full of self-important sorcerers, each with the power to kill with a thought, eyeing him like a guard would an inmate. The cards might not be exactly a matter of life or death for him, but they were close enough, and Eriol was beginning to understand how the boy passed the Final Judgment with fewer than a fifth of the whole deck. The entire Li clan was Clow's kin, but Li Syaoran belonged to Eriol now. The only question was whether he could also belong to the Li clan.

That, of course, depended entirely on Li Yelan.

"She's really powerful," said Ruby. "If you really think she cares so much, why didn't you tell her about the Kikutake's?"

"I don't want that woman near Sakura," said Eriol, "which she would be if she knew." As much as Eriol liked Li Yelan, he was much wiser than Clow had been when he had loved Madoushi, and knew exactly what Li Yelan was. "She might love her son, but you heard what form her love takes. I loathe to imagine what mere friendship would look like."

* * *

They received a call from Kaho back at the hotel. Kaho's message was brief and to the point.

 _"They have him,"_ she said.  _"You need to return at once."_

They bypassed the airplane. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun both had wings, and Eriol had his own spells to keep him airborne. They made a much more dramatic entrance than in Hong Kong; Kaho, the Kinomotos, and the guardians received them at the Tsukimine shrine. They had convened there because the police were at the Daidouji Mansion, which had been named a crime scene.

Eriol did not introduce himself. Upon landing, he strode up to Kaho and demanded the particulars without preamble.

"They targeted her," Kaho explained over Sakura's  _"Hoee!!"_ while extending a hand to indicate the younger Kinomoto. "By the time I arrived, the battle was in full swing. They did it to lure him; they largely ignored the Kinomotos." Kinomoto Touya sprouted an impressive cut on his scalp, though, which was bandaged. "Once he arrived, they concentrated their efforts on him. I tried to draw some of them off, but they knew what they were doing."

Eriol glanced over at the guardians. Cerberus and Yue were both startled by his arrival. The former was more expressive about his recognition; the latter looked inscrutable. Eriol knew he was very shaken; Yue did not reveal his feelings easily, nor his thoughts. Even when he was new and inexperienced, he had a reclusive temperament.

"Clow," Cerberus exclaimed. "How is this possible?"

Eriol inhaled.  _Plans go awry._ He was clearly never going to test Sakura's ability to handle the cards, but he had hoped to test Li Syaoran's—though the Kikutakes were probably a good enough trial. One that the boy might not survive.

Kaho then produced something from behind her. A pink staff. The Sealing Wand. Eriol took it, staring. It was still in its full form. He exhaled harshly to avoid sighing, or worse, groaning.  _Plans go awry indeed._

"Best of intentions," he mused. Clow Reed had created this for the darling little girl. He still recalled the tenderness associated with that memory, of how the ancient sorcerer reflected on the child bright green eyes. Making the staff had almost felt like creating a doll for her to play with, passing along all the hopes and optimism that dolls symbolized: virtue, beauty, purity, love. Though he did not spend much time with Sakura, he had loved her, knew her as his daughter from across time. "There's always something, though," he said thoughtfully. Something unaccounted for.

He turned to Yue and Cerberus. "You cannot sense your master?"

Cerberus frowned, folding his paws. "Not a peep."

"He dispensed a great deal of magic during the battle," Yue told him. "He might not have an aura to sense."

"We've been trying to use the  _rashinban_ ," said Kaho, "but it only points to the cards."

"Both of you tried?"

Kaho nodded. "All three of us tried." 

Eriol glanced at Touya, who looked grumpy and vulnerable with the bandage over his head. It was a ridiculous look on him.

Kaho's voice lowered further. "Could he be dead?" she asked in English.

"No."

She blinked, surprised. "You're sure," she stated, and a little hope bled into her countenance.

"He wouldn't die from that," Eriol said with certainty. "I learned some things in Hong Kong. Unless the Kikutakes take it in mind to physically kill him, we have a little bit of time. He might not be in Tomoeda," he pointed out.

Sakura looked at the book. "Why would they take him away if the cards are still here?"

"They don't need to stay here to get the cards," Eriol frowned. "They can just make him summon the cards to  _him_."

Which was, they found out, what seemed to be happening, though something was keeping them in check; every so often the book would twitch and light up, as if responding to something, but then it would die down and flop back to its original position. Sometimes Cerberus and Yue would sense a pull—a whisper, something reaching out, but it was always fleeting, and nothing solid enough to follow. The  _rashinban_ did not work for Eriol either, while the cards, other than the occasional twitch, remained stubbornly dormant when they tried to obtain answers—not appropriately so, for Eriol possessed Clow Reed's magic, and the cards still technically answered to him. Meditation yielded no results, nor did premonitory dreaming—Sakura's gift, normally rather potent, sent her nothing but visions of odd colors and a profound sense of terror.

"Are they suppressing the cards?" Kaho asked.

"I think  _he's_ suppressing the cards," said Eriol.

" _Nani?_ Why?" Cerberus asked.

"To keep them from going to him," Spinel realized. "He might be suppressing his connection with Yue and Cerberus as well."

Eriol folded his arms. "We have two options. One is…" he trailed off, feeling rather foolish for bothering to say it out loud.

"One is?"

"One is to allow the connection to remain," said Eriol. "The other is to temporarily transfer ownership of the cards. Away from the boy."

"You can do that?" Touya exclaimed. He still did not know who Eriol was.

"Would they sense that?" Sakura asked with worry, less concerned with what Eriol was capable of.

"If they're holding him hostage for the cards," said Kaho, shaking her head emphatically, "this might kill him. We can't remove his ownership."

"As long as they have him, the cards are vulnerable, as are the guardians," but Eriol agreed.

Daidouji Tomoyo, who had been silently present all this time, suddenly spoke. "Would they be at a shrine?"

" _Nani?"_ Everyone turned.

Startled, and looking like she really regretted speaking up, the girl stammered, "…It's a bad version of the  _harae,_ right? So they would perform it at a shrine."

"There are a million shrines around Japan," Eriol dismissed. "We can't search them all."

"Well…what about a  _kofun?_ " Tomoyo asked.

Eriol scowled, and inexplicably felt a flash of rage. He managed to press it down before asking, "Why would the boy be in one of those?"

"His nightmares were always in a tomb," she replied.

Everyone was silent at this.

"He had nightmares?" Cerberus exclaimed.

* * *

The revelation was something of a disaster. Sakura started crying, because she had  _no_ idea; Cerberus and Yue pressed Tomoyo with questions, while Kaho and Eriol, along with his guardians, withdrew to a private area to discuss this new development.

"I can understand Sakura," said Eriol, "but Yue and Cerberus?"

"Things haven't been going well between them," Kaho reminded him, though she was surprised too. It was not very like the guardians to be so unobservant. "He's not the most approachable child. Not easy to get close," she analyzed. "And the guardians had gotten comfortable with the idea of Sakura inheriting the cards. It was a drastic thing for them to come to terms to. Not to mention, he had difficulty speaking of it. It scared him."

"I'll say," Eriol scowled. "'Child of Lightning'. Rather the opposite of what he is, I'd expect. Unless…" he trailed off, deep in thought, but had no chance to vocalize what he was considering; Kaho's phone rang, and she picked it up to hear Terada on the other line.

 _"You were pretty involved, Mizuki-san,"_ he exclaimed.  _"Did you know about this?"_

"This" ended up referring to Li's living situation; Li Syaoran was officially named a abduction case, presumed alive. Though initially the police wanted to keep the story quiet—they did not want to alert the kidnappers to their efforts, which suited the group's purposes—by the morning of the second day, word had gotten out, and the story was hot. Over the course of the investigation to look for clues as to who might be responsible for such a thing, various elements of his life were being brought to light, including the fact that he lived alone with no adult supervision or protection. As he was not a Japanese citizen and his mother was out of the country, there was nothing the Tomoeda law enforcement could do about this, but Terada was incredulous. There were likely to be more phone calls soon.

_If only they knew how much worse things can get._

"Know he lived alone?" Kaho decided to play dumb. " _Iie._ Though a lot of things make sense now."

_"Do his parents even know he's been abducted?"_

Kaho looked at Eriol.

_"Someone should call them. Who else would? Is anyone actually even looking for the boy?"_

"Someone should call them," Kaho agreed. "Listen, I'll call you right back, I'm in the middle of something."

Eriol looked very conflicted about calling Li Yelan.

"The situation has changed, Master," Spinel pointed out.

"Always foiling my plans," Eriol drawled, sounding a little like a Bond villain. "This is not something I'd like to get use to."

"You might not have a choice," Kaho stated with wry amusement, before growing more serious. "His mother may be a useful asset."

"With a lot of strings attached," Eriol said unhappily.

There was a story there, but Eriol went to a landline to make the phone call. Fortunately, the conversation appeared to remain civil, though he was very displeased when he hung up.

"Did she give you a hard time?" Kaho asked.

"No. She was not pleased, but she does not blame me. I did not tell her how long this has been going on."

"It's her fault for sending her ten-year-old out by himself." Spinel rubbed his face.

"He was taken when you were in Hong Kong. You had no obligation to protect him before," Ruby stated.

Kaho frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's a long story, one which would only be relevant if the child survives. This business with the  _kofun_ , there are many all throughout Japan."

"Are there any in Tomoeda?" Ruby asked.

"Not to my knowledge," Kaho frowned again. "Those are customs from a much earlier time."

"So it's outside Tomoeda and it can be any of them. If he is even in one."

Something suddenly caught his eye. He looked hard at the corner of the room.

"What is it?" Kaho asked.

"We have company." He did not rise to the defensive, however, instead raising a hand to indicate they should be silent. After a moment, he looked at Kaho.

"She's going to have a look."

"Who?"

"Nadeshiko Kinomoto."

* * *

 Ghosts were quick, and Sakura's mother brought the information they were looking for. Eriol rounded up Li's guardians but told Kaho to stay.

"If they get past us they will look for them," he said, indicating Sakura and her brother. "I need you to defend them. If Syaoran Li dies, Sakura will inherit the cards. You will protect her, as in my original will."

He said this in English, but Sakura somehow understood. She whimpered, tears welling again in her eyes. He wished he could take the words back, but such was the case with spoken words; they could never be undone.

"You can't face them on your own," Kaho hissed. "You  _need_ me, Eriol."

"I have faced worse," he replied, as Cerberus nudged him; the guardian was in his true form, and anxious to depart. "I do not fear the Chrysanthemums, but I do not want you to see what I suspect I will do."

"I know what you're capable of."

"No." Eriol looked at her sadly. He had never told anyone about Madoushi, his greatest failure and greatest regret. There was a reason he liked Li Yelan—the woman had many qualities that were admirable, but the main reason he liked her was because he knew what drives someone like her to be cruel. Clow Reed had been crueler than she; he had imprisoned Madoushi for an eternity, for crimes she was not to blame for; it had been Clow, Clow who had been responsible for her, for judging poorly and deeming her worthy of more power and knowledge that she should have handled. Kaho, the Sail of Song, saw Eriol as a gentle sorcerer, who carried burdens too great for a single man. She was wise enough to understand his darker side, but it was not something Eriol wished to show her.

"I'll be fine. Protect Sakura. Either way she will play a part in Clow's legacy. That is your sacred duty. And," he allowed his rage to show in his eyes, "pray for the sake of their souls, Moon Maiden, that I find the boy alive."

 _The world will know what happens when they harm what is_ **_mine._ **

* * *

They kept him blindfolded and gagged. They bound his arms behind his back, pulled tight, and cuffed his neck face-down to a platform like that for a guillotine. He tried to fight back, but they were many full-grown men and he was a single ten-year-old boy, with neither the size nor the muscle to withstand their strength. They maneuvered him like a doll, bending his arms backwards and pinning his legs. They said,  _We know you can summon the cards. Summon them and this will be over._ When he did not, they tugged on his magic, forcing it out of him, and it was like they were trying to rip his bones out of his body. When Syaoran resisted, tried to keep a hold on his magic, they would touch  _something_ on him, and it would flood out of him. It was a violation unlike any he had ever known, like his body was no longer his own, but he could feel everything that happened to it, that it did, as if his nerves were rubbed raw.

He screamed. Sobbed. Screamed again. The blindfold was saturated with his tears, and snot wet the gag around and within his mouth as they relentlessly forced the magic out of him. Sometimes they did it brute-force and direct. Other times they took control of it and made him cast spells, bubbles of magic and power spilling out of him, and he was helpless to resist.  _Summon the cards,_ they said, and that was the only thing he could deny them. He clenched down on the connection between him and the book and tightened it with all his strength, though sometimes he still faltered. Sometimes, they wanted his guardians, and when Syaoran did not comply they went on and on, for hours.

He was sucked dry. He had no idea where all this magic was coming from. They would keep drawing and somehow it would just keep spilling, an endless pour from somewhere within him that he did not even know existed, channeling out through his skin, and kept going even as he struggled to hold onto it, even some of it. He started begging, pleading, screaming for mercy. It was all muffled by the gag. He tugged on the bindings and writhed until the cuff choked him and his arms started to bleed. Sometimes he would even forget himself in his agony and terror, and would reach out—he would feel the Clow Cards stir at his call—and then his right eye would start hurting behind the blindfold, and he would remember the look of Windy, bright and beautiful turned feral and hideous, and his command would falter. It was the Chrysanthemums, he realized. It was not him; it was the Chrysanthemums. The vision was what would come to pass if he ever gave in. And he would stop, because he could not do that to the cards and the beautiful spirits they embodied, and instead he resisted as they continued to pull his magic, fearful that if they did so long enough, the cards would somehow be pulled out of him. He would beg and and weep, and they would drain and drain, and his stomach would be wrecked with cramps, his throat would choke on bile, and bright colors bloomed behind his eyelids until he hardly knew if he was human or a deranged animal.

There were breaks in between when they would stop. They wanted the Clow Cards and Clow's guardians in addition to Syaoran, so they would always stop when it seemed like they might have drained to just before the last drop. He would pass out and his mind would be filled with a rush of visions: the tomb and the corpse kept in the sarcophagus, the Clow Cards releasing into the world above, and the sky turning the color of blood. He saw Yue and Keroberus, eyes white and soulless, diving through the clouds along with ash and burning rock. He would awaken to pitch black and in cold sweat; his face would hurt as if it had been slammed into the floor, and there would be pain in his bladder, but no one ever came to relieve him. He would go, and warmth would bloom along his stomach before quickly turning cold. His elbows and shoulders ached and his muscles stabbed with pain, and he would be trapped for hours, too frightened to sleep, too tightly-bound to move, and his head would pound from the visions and the thirst deep in his throat.

Too empty of magic or strength to free himself, he would pray desperately for someone to save him. At times he would believe that there were people coming for him: mainly his guardians, who were tasked by magical contract to protect and defend him. Other times he was crippled with doubt; he had alienated the guardians tasked to him. Mizuki Kaho had promised him that she would do anything to help him. Mizuki Kaho only cared about the Clow Cards, and might be satisfied as long as they were not in danger. Kinomoto would surely rally others to save him. Kinomoto's brother told her to keep away from him. His mother and sisters would come for him. His mother and sisters probably did not even know he had been captured. Round and round the thoughts chased, until footsteps echoed and he was heaved up by the cuff around his neck. 

 _Summon the cards, gaki,_ they would demand. Choking, Syaoran would nevertheless try to apologize, but he cannot, he  _cannot_ , he was so _sorry—_ They would blast his face with water—it would go up his nose and into his sinuses and he would cry as he choked and start to drown— _"To keep the gaki from drying out",_ they said, and then they would cuff him down to the platform and his  _magic_ would bloom up at their touch, as if he had some horrible button on his body that opened it to whomever pressed.

Eventually he forgot why he was not obeying them, why he was not summoning these cards or guardians that they kept demanding. But by then, they also stopped asking.


	9. Kikukamonsho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am…totally not sure if this is how Shinto works…but these are the bad guys so whatever.

_Chrysanthemum bloom,_

_So that we may all prosper,_

_In the rising sun._

* * *

It was not a  _kofun,_ but it was a tomb, one that was empty, perhaps raided at some point, and time had hidden away. A shrine blocked its entrance, keeping it from the public eye. At the gates was a teenage girl, who sat on the steps leading to the _torii_. She wore a kimono of soft green and white, and her hair was pulled into a braid. It took a moment for them to realize that she was blind, but she was aware of them. She was a Kikutake.

"Visitors," said she. "Have you come to pay your respects?"

"To what  _kami?_ " Hiiragizawa replied. "Would that compel him to release what is mine?"

"The  _kami_ do not comply with demands from mortals," she gently scolded. "You must ask, child."

"I don't negotiate with false gods," said Hiiragizawa. He extended his right hand. "The key that hides the power of darkness, reveal your true form to me. I, Eriol, command you under our contract. Release!"

The staff appeared, but he instantly had to swing it in front—c _ling cling cling!_ went the metal stars. The Kikutake girl was on her feet, arms swept out at the ready. More  _shuriken_ were loaded between her fingers.

"Careful, child," said the teenager. "Insolence has consequences."

Hiiragizawa smirked. "You obviously are a real child. 'Tit for tat'. If your clansmen harmed my little one, I will break your neck. Spinel Sun. Ruby Moon. Bring her to me."

Yue and Kerberus drew back in alarm as the other two guardians launched themselves forward. The girl was blind, but Spinel had better stealth than Kerberus, and Ruby Moon was made to be a silent attacker. Ruby had her own red blades, and Spinel fired orbs of red energy. They were both fast and nimble, and though the girl tried her best and managed to throw a few spells, she was no match for them.

"Easy, honeypie," Ruby sneered, yanking the girl's arm behind her and up, while pressing a red blade against her throat. "If you make this too hard, I'll spill your blood. I like the color red, if you can't guess."

Yue glanced at Hiiragizawa. Clow was of a much more barbaric time, when half of all infants born died within the first year, and stupidity could be punished with death. Yet to Yue and Kerberus, Clow had always been gentle, kind, warm. He had never seen anger like this before. Hiiragizawa was ruthless. His guardians also seemed harder. Whatever this was, it was personal, and it made him uneasy.

Hiiragizawa walked casually up to where the girl was trapped. Spinel stooped low, tail waving slowly in anticipation. Hiiragizawa's eyebrows pinched, and then the girl went limp.

"Bring her," said Hiiragizawa. "Let them know my limits are the exact same as theirs."

Ruby grinned, lifting the body easily. She produced a red sash, which she used to tie the girl's wrists, and then looped them around her head. It would have been a terrible way to carry someone, except Ruby did not need to breathe.

Spinel pushed the gates open. "Let's go."

Inside, they were met with a dozen more sorcerers. They had come after the commotion. All had their staves ready. Spinel moved to the side to allow Hiiragizawa passage. Yue and Kerberus closed behind, but Hiiragizawa was unhurried. He stepped through the gates and set his staff on the ground.

"You can all die," he outlined, "or you can give me the boy."

They attacked. Yue raised a shield, successfully deflecting several spells. Hiiragizawa spun his solar staff in a blaze of gold. Above, Ruby soared, the girl dangling behind her. She swung the body around so it would kick one of her opponents. She took great delight at this, and used the trick again and again; bewildered by this, the sorcerers did not know how to properly react. But this group was harder to defeat; Yue was stretched to the limits of his reflexes, and the others were a blur among the blur of their enemies. As they traded spells, more people emerged. One carried a staff with streaming paper, and Yue was unable to dodge. The head of it struck him in the side of his ribs, and suddenly his magic was being  _pulled._ He gasped, his wings puffed away, and darkness started to descend over his eyes.

Kerberus' fireball forced the sorcerer to spin away. Yue stumbled back, limbs shaking and awkward like a newborn fawn. The man swung the streaming staff again, and he saw Kerberus leap forward to defend, but Ruby got there first, bending low to expose the unconscious girl. The staff pounded into her stomach.

She did not stay unconscious. A high pitched scream filled the air. Yue retreated even more. His magic was slowly replenishing, but he felt off, as if he and his magic were displaced somehow. The sorcerer quickly withdrew the staff, and with that, the battle suddenly halted. The Kikutakes drew to one side to regroup. Ruby remained low, wings spread to balance the girl, who was sobbing and whimpering.

"Cute toy!" she exclaimed. "Mind if I play with it?"

There was a moment of silence.

"So the rumors are true," Hiiragizawa murmured, sounding bored. "I had suspected, but still hoped otherwise. How embarrassing for you. I hope you do realize that the spirits that power that wand exact a particular kind of payment."

"You are more than you appear," said the sorcerer, planting his _ounusa_  on the ground. Normally used for purifying in the Shinto custom of _harae_ , it was, as Mizuki had claimed, now defiled, and applied to foul practices. His hood slid off his head, revealing a middle-aged man with a high, narrow nosebridge typical of most Japanese, and a beard framing his jaw. His hair was shorn short, but long enough to reveal waves. On his left earlobe was a cherry red birthmark, large enough to look like an earring. "Far different from what you seem. What price are you paying, stranger, to deny your death?"

Yue glanced at Hiiragizawa, who looked unperturbed.

"I am collecting my dues," he replied. "You, on the other hand, are very much in debt, and you have something of mine. I will ask nicely only once again."

The man grinned, revealing golden teeth that were straight and pristine. "You are in  _our_ domain, my friend. You don't get to make threats."

He lunged at Hiiragizawa, who raised his own staff to block. It flared on impact with the  _ounusa_ , which glowed in turn. Hiiragizawa drew back quickly, breaking the connection. Movement to his left compelled Yue to dodge, and he could not see what happened next. More  _shiruken_ flew at him, and with an effort he managed to bring up a wavering barrier, which shattered, but also successfully deflected the weapons.

Hiiragizawa was throwing spells, when Yue next looked. The  _ounusa_ was drinking them up, and the sorcerer even extended it to catch the blasts of light. When Hiiragizawa paused, the sorcerer turned and twirled the streaming staff, swinging it toward Ruby. The same spells Hiiragizawa cast shot from the paper frills. Ruby dodged the first few, but eventually was not agile enough. Desperate, she flashed her back, and the spells hit the girl.

The girl did not scream. There was a sickening snap and gurgle. Ruby quickly shrugged her off. The teen crumpled to the ground and did not move.

 _"Yoko-san!"_ someone shouted.

Hiiragizawa ducked toward Yue.

"That thing is demonic," he hissed, "but who knows how much magic it drank. Decades at least, if not longer. We can't stop them through magical means."

"Master—"

Hiiragizawa cast a burst of bright light. The guardians were unaffected—they were avatars of the sun and moon—but the sorcerers were all blinded, and even their leader with the corrupt  _ounusa_ could not catch the light.

"Guardians, with me!" Hiiragizawa ordered, and shot up. Yue sprang after him, reaching up and attempting to spread his wings—but his wings were gone. He fell, but his shins met the armored plate of his partner. Kerberus flapped mightily as Yue dropped down to a proper seat. Above, Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun fluttered.

"Fly, fools!" they heard a sneer below, but they were already out of sight; the shrine was but a small spot down below.

"Master Eriol!" Spinel exclaimed when they stopped their ascent. Eriol landed on him instead of continuing to hover, sitting sideways and looking down. "What are we going to do, Master?"

"We'll do this the old-fashioned way," Hiiragizawa replied, frowning. "Laws and law enforcement persist because they do occasionally work."

* * *

They called the police on the shrine.

"I actually feel more embarrassed for them about  _this_ than about having to steal magic," Kero said to Spinel, unable to avoid feeling a sense of dark amusement.

"Defeated by bureaucracy," the other sun guardian summarized. "No matter how powerful you are, this ends you immediately."

Hiiragizawa did not participate in their banter; he was watching closely for an opportunity to go in and at least locate Li Syaoran while everyone was distracted. So far, the police were investigating a death: the girl, whose body the sorcerers did not have a chance to dispose of. The shrine quickly became a crime scene, and the Kikutakes were embroiled in the same protocols that had worn down Kinomoto Touya and Daidouji Tomoyo. Payback was a beauty, Kero thought with satisfaction. But their leader, with the  _ounusa_ , had yet to appear.

Eventually, Hiiragizawa looked at Kero.

"I'm going to have to turn you into a squirrel," he said.

Kero's amusement abruptly died. "Really? Can't I just go in my false form?"

"After the disaster last time? Remember, the  _ounusa_ drinks in magic, and magic is all you are. You are not like me, of flesh and blood in addition to my powers. If it touches you for too long, you will disappear. It was a close thing with Yue." Hiiragizawa looked up at the moon guardian. Yue's wings had not reappeared.

"What if that maniac is with the kid?" Kero asked.

"Then you come back and tell us so," said Hiiragizawa. "You do not engage."

" _Kami-sama_ , I thought stuffed toy was bad, from now on that  _gaki_ is going to keep calling me a squirrel and I can't even deny it…"

"Just find the child," Hiiragizawa frowned. "Don't talk, don't try to free him. They might be drawing magic from him; let them. It would make no difference. Just come back and tell us where he is. We'll find some way to lure him out, but none of us faces this man alone. Am I clear?"

"I think I should go in. A cat is a much better form," Spinel griped.

"A cat is practically asking for attention," Hiiragizawa dismissed. "They don't have cats in the shrine."

" _Kami-sama_ ," Kero grumbled. "A squirrel!"

"Be glad I'm not turning you into a cockroach," Hiiragizawa said with a straight face.

"He'd get stepped on," said Yue, who had regained his wings and was flexing them as if to work bloodflow into the joints. "He'd have better luck walking in there in his true form." 

* * *

The wielder of the  _ounusa_ was not with the boy. He was easy to locate for Kero, however. Towards the back of the shrine, away from the commotion, in a windowless room, he convened with other sorcerers who were not being interrogated.

"They were in our grasp," he stated, frustrated. "We weren't prepared for that."

"We should have set traps at the gates."

"Who was  _that_ boy?" asked one of them, a sorceress, though with a voice nearly as deep as a man's. "Why are there so many Card Masters all of the sudden?"

"He was no Card Master; did you see a single card? He cast with his staff only."

"But he had four guardians. I don't recognize the other two."

"Perhaps Clow Reed had more legacies than we realized."

"So what now?"

"We ride the wave," said the bearer of the  _ounusa._ "Clow Reed's magic lasts ten generations. He was able to prolong his own life, until he wearied of the world and elected his own death date. Someone like that, and any of his creations, have the power to twist all spirits to our will—Izanagi himself cannot deny us. Indeed, just look at the boy; three days and still full of milk. Who knows when we'll drain the last drop? Just imagine what power the cards hold. Fifty-two, a complete deck, and the book to shut it in. We cannot give up now."

"But each day passes, and we draw more attention," said the sorceress. "It won't be long before other clans catch wind."

"By then we would be powerful enough to fend them off."

"Besides," said one of the other sorcerers, "do you want your magic, or not? Because you can always join the mundane folk toddling around these islands, gazing in wonder at the statues of the  _kami_ without any comprehension at all."

"I'm not suggesting we give up," the sorceress snapped. "However, we clearly need to enhance our strategy. Our opponents know more about us than we know about them. We don't even know how many there are."

"We can kill the boy. Sever the connection to the Clow Cards. It will reposition, and we can obtain them from whomever inherits them next. Perhaps that is the true origin of the girl."

" _Iie,"_ said the leader. "No one touches the boy. He has his own gifts. He has too much magic that he hasn't been seen to use. Killing him would be killing the goose that lays golden eggs. We keep him alive. We'll need to relocate, however. Let the trail go cold. The boy will sustain us until we start anew."

"So we'll wait for the police to disband for the night, then," said another sorcerer.

"But this boy, the one that came; he is no ordinary boy."

"No," said the leader, revealing his golden teeth again. "He is no mere boy. In shape, perhaps, but on the inside he is something else. I'm not sure what, but he is much older than he appears."

"He is formidable. All of them are."

"Fitting." The leader shifted the  _ounusa_ from one hand to the other. It occurred to Kero that though the staff appeared to consume magic upon contact, it did not seem to be doing so with him. "Perhaps when the Clow Cards are in our possession, we might consider using them as well."

"A fine idea," said the sorceress, "but their capture would not be straightforward."

"We'll plan once we relocate."

They disbanded then. Kero managed to stay undetected in the resulting scatter. The leader went out into the hall, followed by three associates. The sorceress departed in another direction with the rest of the group. Kero considered which one to follow, and decided to follow the  _ounusa;_ if he did not find Li Syaoran, at least he might obtain more information about the clan's plans.

It was a bit touch and go; squirrels were found in the shrine, but not inside the buildings. Kero had to take care not to be seen. Fortunately, the sorcerers were not looking for anything like him, so he was able to remain undetected. It was fruitless, however; with the mundane law enforcement investigating the death of Yoko, the blind teenage girl whom Ruby allowed to be killed, there was no way the clan would risk any sort of new commotion. No one went to where the boy was kept. For the most part, people packed, while the leader bearing the  _ounusa_ retreated to a meditation chamber. The only thing Kero learned otherwise was the man's name: Kikutake Youta—Chrysanthemum Sun.

Very on the nose, this clan.  _Perhaps clinging onto their glory days during that Muromachi period?_ The chrysanthemum was the symbol of the Japanese Emperor and his family, and  _Nippon_ was the land of the rising sun. Still, on the nose, and Kero had difficulty making sense out of emphasizing that connection.  _What is your ultimate agenda, Kikutake?_

In the end, though the police lingered for a very long time, Kero was unable to find his master. He went back to the others, defeated.

"Told you I should have gone in," Spinel said unhelpfully.

"I doubt that would make a difference," said Hiiragizawa, before Kero could snap at his counterpart. "But they mean to pack and flee. If they do, they would have to bring the boy. That will be our next opportunity. You said his name was Youta?"

"On the nose," said Kero.

Hiiragizawa nodded, though he did not mention how this might be helpful. "You have a good point about the  _ounusa._ He might have formed a blood pact with it; anyone else who touches it would be absorbed. You saw that girl."

 _Yoko._ Kero did not miss her either, but he felt somewhat uneasy about her death and the casual manner everyone reacted to it.

"That _ounusa_ might be one reason why the  _rashinban_ didn't work, too," Spinel pointed out.

"The other sorcerers aren't affected, nor were any of our spells. I suspect they took him to a sealed chamber."

"How are we to find the boy, even if they move him?" Yue asked. "They would still have the  _ounusa_."

"I had revealed myself," said Hiiragizawa, "otherwise I would suggest infiltrating. We'll have to see if there is another opportunity."

"There might not be one," said Yue.

"There will be," Hiiragizawa replied. "In the meantime, Ruby and Spinel, you will remain here and keep watch. Hail me if you notice them moving. Yue and Cerberus, you will come with me. We're heading back to Tomoeda."

"Why are  _they_ the ones staying?" Kero demanded.

"Because I don't want you to attempt a rescue on your own," Hiiragizawa replied, "and in light of their plans, I need an acting Card Master. We're transferring ownership to Kinomoto."

* * *

It was not, Sakura mused, how she wanted to obtain the Clow Cards, even if Hiiragizawa stated that this was temporary. Even Yue and Kero disapproved; they came to the Tuskimine shrine still arguing emphatically.

"I was worried enough about the Final Judgment," Kero was saying, "and Yue wasn't out for blood. These  _kurutta hito_ didn't even care about that Yoko. They placed a blind girl out on the doorstep to guard—clearly they didn't care about her well-being. These people are mad! I wouldn't even want  _you_ around them even when you were at your full height!"

"Sakura will obviously stay in the back," said Hiiragizawa, "but I need an extra head and an extra pair of hands."

"Is there a reason my sister has to be the one to go?" Touya demanded, holding on to Sakura's shoulders with a grip tight enough to bruise, as if he feared that Hiiragizawa might physically pull her away right then.

"The Clow Cards would work with you," said Hiiragizawa, "but you don't know how to work with them."

"Why don't you let me give it a shot."

"How much longer do you want that boy to suffer in there?" the English sorcerer snapped.

Touya's grip tightened further. "You're risking my sister. What do you think,  _baka?_ "

"It has to be Sakura,  _Touya-san,_ " Mizuki said quietly. "If  _Eriol-sama_ needs reinforcements, these are not novices."

"Well we knew that," Touya pointed out. "They took the kid, despite all of us. But I have no reason to believe that my sister would change things for the better. I think instead of losing just the boy, we'd lose her too, and then who will have the cards, hm?"

"We won't lose her," said Yue.

"Oh?" Touya whirled on him. "How do you know? Is it because you did such a great job last time?"

Yue's reply was so soft, Sakura almost could not hear him. "Because I love Sakura. I watched her grow. I gave her hugs and kisses, took her to festivals to make her laugh. I did not love Li Syaoran. Resented him, in fact. I felt he killed my hopes and dreams when I didn't even realize I had them. That is why I failed him."

A heavy silence fell, so thick it was suffocating. Touya was speechless. Nearby, Hiiragizawa's fair face was almost black with anger. Sakura saw him close his eyes, take a silent breath and let it out.

"We'll decide what happens after," he said after a moment, his voice tight with control, "but I'll remind you, Kinomoto: Li Syaoran was captured because he arrived to save you in the first place. It was my impression that the Japanese place a very special emphasis on honor."

Touya turned to face him. "I'm not suggesting we abandon him. Sakura is too young. Li  _Syaoran_ is too young. We're in this situation because these kids are both too young. Forcing my sister to face a danger too big for her is hardly going to make things right."

"We can't use you,  _Kinomoto-san_ ," Hiiragizawa replied. "It has to be Sakura. You have the right to refuse, but you cannot take her place. Make your decision. We do not have much time left."

Touya turned away, grabbing his head by both hands. " _Kuso!"_ he shouted, loudly.

Sakura went to him, wrapping  her arms around his waist. " _Oni-chan,_ I'll be alright. I know how to use the cards; they know me and I know them. I've used them for a year. I'll be careful. I can do this." There was no question she was scared, but while she would never claim to be as brave as Li, one thing she had some practice with over the past year was conquering her fears.

" _Kami-sama_ , I already lost  _Oka-san_ —I can't. I can't let you go.  _Iie._ _Gomen nasai._ " Touya's hands reached down and he held her to him, tight. " _Iie._ I don't give permission. I—"

He suddenly stopped. Sakura expected Hiiragizawa to speak up, but he was silent. Kero started to speak, but the sorcerer raised his hand to stop him.

Touya looked at him. "You're influencing her."

"She is a mother," said Hiiragizawa, "as I was a father. As she is, she sees more than all of us put together."

Touya swore again. "I'm going with you."

"You'll get in the way," Mizuki said apologetically.

"You have your own task," Hiiragizawa stated before Touya could protest.

"What task?" the teen demanded. "Filming the whole thing like  _Tomoyo-san?_ "

* * *

The Clow Cards welcomed Sakura back as their master with a warm glow. She smiled, full of contentment, as the light dimmed and everything quieted. Daidouji was showing Touya how to use the cell phone, though he glared in his sister's direction, still angry. Yet something felt inexplicably more  _right_ about her having ownership of the deck, like a square peg that found a square hole. There was no pain, no frightening visions, no crippling doubt and insecurity.

Kerberus sat on Yue's shoulder in his false form, silent.

"Time," said Hiiragizawa, looking at his watch. He withdrew the Clow key and handed it to Sakura. "Let's move,  _now._ "

Sakura took the key, taking a few precious seconds to feel the weight of it on her palm, before reciting the incantation. The vision of her releasing the staff was vivid; it seemed so long ago when she last performed the spell. Hiiragizawa released his own staff, then waved at her to follow. He leaped into the air.

Sakura drew the Fly card, slamming her wand down upon it. The wand sprouted wings, and she mounted it. Touya broke away from Daidouji to mount behind his sister. Sakura pushed off to join Hiiragizawa. Behind them, Mizuki mounted Kerberus after he transformed, and the two guardians took flight.

The moon was high in the sky by now; it was two hours past midnight. They sped over the landscape like planes, and in silence. The wind rushed past their ears, making conversation moot point anyway. The shrine was not far, and at the speed they were going, it was not long before they arrived.

Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were there to meet them, high up in the air.

"Better not go down just yet," Spinel warned. "They're on the move but their sensory range is rather broad." He looked at Sakura. "So we're doing it this way, eh?"

"Did they bring  _Li-kun_ out?" Sakura asked.

"Either in a bag or not yet, because we didn't see him," Ruby tipped forward to look down as she fluttered her wings, but shook her head.

"The leader's name is Kikutake Youta," Hiiragizawa told Sakura. "He holds the  _ounusa_ which can absorb magic and also casts with it. Be careful not to let anything touch that staff—yourself, your guardians, or the Clow Cards; they would get absorbed. Focus on those surrounding him and take them out from afar. Do not go close, and retreat if you have to. Yue, Cerberus, your priority is  _Kinomoto-san._ If it's a choice between the two, you will leave the boy. Ruby Moon, Spinel Sun, and I will take Youta and the  _ounusa._ You will try to keep others off our backs. If we need to withdraw, or if Youta gets the best of me, we'll commence with our backup plan."

"You sure it will work twice?" Kero asked.

"They'll come," said the sorcerer, with confidence. "They can't pick and choose. Whether they're timely is another matter, but while they might give up on Li Syaoran, they think I am a child. They will make haste if there's another abduction. Are we all clear on what we are doing?"

" _Hai,"_ they chorused.

Hiiragizawa dove down, leading the way. Sakura dove after, though she angled steeper so she could drop her brother off. The four guardians circled wide, Yue and Ruby on the left, Kerberus and Spinel on the right.

The Kikutakes were piling into vans. Yue stretched out his senses, but could not sense the boy. They were not done transporting though, still loading much of their cargo. Hiiragizawa's attack came as a surprise.

The sorcerers raised multiple shields, deflecting the first spell. Yue summoned his moonlight bow and, though Hiiragizawa made it clear his directive was to fend off the bystanders, aimed for the leader and his hateful  _ounusa._ The man's reflexes were too good, however, and the arrow was absorbed.

Then the Sleep card darted past him, sprinkling dust everywhere. Yue did a double-take; he was not certain what he expected Sakura would try, but this was not it. It also was not sufficient; most of the sorcerers dodged the dust, or were completely immune to it. Some did drop down, but not enough to make a difference.

Kerberus' fireballs were much more effective, though in the night his powers were lesser overall. Yue released his moon crystals, disposing of two sorcerers; he had seen what these people could do, and did not have Sakura's compunction about killing. Mizuki was also casting spells; bits of moonlight, water and wind. Blood splattered the pavement, dark in the night. Like Sakura, she was keeping her distance, picking off the bystanders one by one.

Then the Float Card drifted by, and the sorcerers were suddenly buoyed off the ground.

"You're kidding me, right?" Kerberus exclaimed, but blew a fire breath at the sorcerers scrambling to return to the ground.

It was a good try, and allowed Yue to take a few more out with his arrows, but the sorcerers quickly broke free of the spell. One then launched at Sakura, who had landed on the ground in order to free her wand to summon her other cards.

Kerberus and Yue both dove for her and summoned their barriers. The spells glanced off, but the force of them pushed them back, sliding on the pavement. Yue pushed Sakura behind him; he could not break his promise to Touya. Sakura drew another card, and seemed to abandon nonlethal means of subduing the sorcerers, for the next card was the Shot. "Shoot that one!" she called out, not knowing the name, but it worked; a bolt of light emerged and went blazing toward the sorcerer in question.

In the distance, Hiiragizawa and his guardians were focusing their efforts on Youta, whose  _ounusa_ remained a severe threat. In addition to being harmful when touched, the spells coming out of it were mighty; even from where he was, Yue could see that Hiiragizawa was struggling, and despite their best attempts, they could not get an advantage.

"Sakura," he called to the girl, "we have to finish the others off,  _now!_ " The Shot was a good method in that it was relentless, but it could only attack one target at a time. Many sorcerers were trying to distract Hiiragizawa; Mizuki was pulling them off with her spells, but she was getting attacked as well.

"You can't hold back,  _Sakura-chan!_ " Kerberus cried out.

The next card Sakura summoned was the Erase, which spun around in its checkered tights, tapping spells and sorcerers alike. Whatever it tapped, which consisted of mostly spells, winked out of existence. It was fast and unpredictable, random and dizzying. It was also very effective, but it consumed a great deal of magic and concentration. At one point, tapped a sorcerer, which should have erased him—but he remained, and pushed it so that it circled too close to Kikutake Youta, who tried to swipe at it with the  _ounusa—_ luckily, Ruby Moon pushed it out of the way, but she was hit, and her wings winked out, leaving her vulnerable. Unable to sustain it, Sakura gave out, and the Erase morphed back into its card form, sailing back.

Kikutake Youta grabbed Ruby by her long red hair and yanked her to him, holding his staff inches from her head. All at once, Hiiragizawa froze.

"Call them off, boy," the man hissed, teeth shining gold. "This one looks like it took some effort to create. Would be a shame, wouldn't it?"

Everyone stopped at this. Ruby looked over at Hiiragizawa, her eyes bright and wide.

Youta then pressed the staff to her head. Ruby screamed, high-pitched and shrill, and started to thrash. The glow of her skin, silver like the moon, began to bleed away from her face. The sight of it sent a chill down Yue's spine; he knew what that was like.

"Alright!" Hiiragizawa shouted, and held up a hand. He allowed his sun staff to clatter to the ground. Youta pulled his own staff back. Ruby went limp, gasping heavily. Shadows still cut across her face.

Sakura was rooted to the spot, but Yue maneuvered her into his arms. She fit there better than Li Syaoran did, part of his mind thought. The other part was aware that they had lost, and felt cold. Perhaps this was how Sakura was meant to be the master. If it was, it was too horrible. He was not sure he could bear it.

"But—" Sakura cried out.

" _Go!"_ Hiiragizawa shouted, and his voice was filled with rage and anguish. " _Now!"_

Yue turned before Sakura could protest further. Mizuki went to Kerberus, and all five of them fled, leaving Hiiragizawa and Ruby in the nest of vipers.

* * *

"It's just us," said Eriol, standing with his legs planted shoulder-width apart. "What will it take for you to release her to me?"

"The Clow Cards," said Kikutake, "then I might consider."

"And the boy?"

The man smirked, teeth yellow even in the darkness. "No deal."

"Why?" Eriol asked. "Why do you do this? You risk the wrath of the entire magical world."

"You truly don't know?" Kikutake pushed Ruby to one of his associates. The guardian could not even raise an arm to fight them off. Eriol kept his eyes on Kikutake, while mentally reaching out to her. She was depleted, severely for the amount of time that staff had been pressed to her. He felt her respond to his mental touch, though thankfully she did not outwardly show this. Kikutake, tellingly, kept his _ounusa._ "Then you don't know as much about us after all," he continued. "And here I thought you were a formidable foe."

"You want power," said Eriol, "and magic. You stand the risk of losing it. I don't understand why you need to replenish it by stealing it from others."

"You 'don't understand'," the man sneered. "Such is the blight of all too fortunate for their own good." He tipped his chin at the others, indicating they should continue loading the vans. Ruby's captors dragged her over to one of them. Eriol clenched his fingers, but did not look at them.

"Is it some curse?" Eriol asked. "Some spell? Some punishment? What is it?"

"It's a gift," Kikutake replied. "You speak our language well, but you're obviously not from here. Who are you?"

" _Watashi wa_ Hiiragizawa Eriol _desu._ "

"Eriol, eh? Our surname, but 'Eriol' is not Japanese."

"I come from London," Eriol clarified.

"Ah," said Kikutake, "You're  _British_. Funny people, Brits. They once pranced around here, thinking they were a gift from the  _kami_ , practically  _kami_ themselves, with their steam engines and rifles. They ignored the sentient life that is  _Nippon_ ; she who is the gateway to the other worlds. They couldn't deal with her. So  _Nippon_ remains far beyond their grasp."

" _Nippon_ remains far beyond many things, lying as it does at the mouth of the world," said Eriol, "but the world has eyes and ears as well, and more than one doorway beyond this reality. It happens to be round, you know."

"So it does, but Japan is wider than all others. We welcome gods and demons alike, and they rest here before setting forth to their destinations. We are the universal stop. And, my British friend, there are  _many_ who stop here, more than your puny little Christian mind can ever fathom."

"What you call gods," Eriol replied, "we call by other names, but do not presume we do not know them, or have not seen them. Is that how you came by your fancy staff? A 'gift' from the beyond?"

"You had Kings, famous ones, so you should know:" said Kikutake, "Those up high will always crush those down below. If they don't, what's to keep the peasants from rising up again? The world only has so much gold and grain. That is the nature of the game. In the early days, we reigned the Land of the Rising Sun. In the early days, the most powerful spirits answered to our will. They are hard to please, the  _kami_. Gods and demons alike; at the mouth of the world, all wanting different things, and any show of temper would anger the seas and shake the land. You do what you can, in such times; not like sleepy England, with her simple churches: off with her head, for she failed to bear me a son, or mad kings running around screaming late in the night. When such fools take control, you lose favor, and Kings and Queens become pawns of their own subjects."

"It is my understanding that even back then, the Japanese knew the difference between good and evil."

"Gods and demons?" Kikutake laughed, harsh and mocking. "You think demons cause less damage than gods? That they need not be as appeased? When a demon looks for you, you  _koto_ all the same. 'Kneel, when  _oni_ knock your door, and press your sorry head to the floor; Beseech and promise, and do pray, that you may see another day.'"

"And what promise did you make?" as Eriol.

"Life," said the sorcerer. "That is what all demons yearn for, above all else."

"So to get magic, you betray your kin," Eriol spat.

"There is no such thing as  _kin_ ," Kikutake spat right back. "Who spoke for us, when we fell? No one but ourselves. That is the way of the world, Peter Pan. While the realm of childhood may be sweet, it doth not life's breath keep." He pointed his  _ounusa,_ with its streaming white paper strips, toward Eriol. "Now,  _kneel_ , little Brit."

Ruby suddenly burst from her captors' hold. Eriol had been siphoning magic to her as he kept the man talking— _always a folly of villains, their love of talk—_ and she was strong enough at last to free herself. Eriol summoned his staff to him as Ruby crashed into him. The sorcerers flung spells, but Ruby was quick, and they were in the sky again, far out of reach. Below, cars pulled up; Touya had called the police.

There was a slim chance that the so-called "mundane" law enforcement officers might be able to do what the gang could not, but given the nature of this particular clan, Eriol had a feeling there would be more casualties than anything else.

"How are we going to stop them, Master Eriol?" Ruby asked, as she dove over the rooftops to join the others.

Eriol looked back, stomach sinking in his gut.

"I don't know."

* * *

Eriol sent the Kinomotos to bed, along with all four guardians. Sakura was so exhausted, she was asleep by the time he and Ruby had joined them, despite the potent anxiety for their well-being. Touya, eyes bruised and glazed over, looked ready to collapse himself. The guardians escorted them to the hotel Daidouji had secured in lieu of their ruined mansion, leaving Eriol and Kaho alone.

They were both tired too. Kaho yawned every fifteen seconds as she brewed a pot of coffee, and Eriol sat drooped over the kitchen table, slow to respond to questions and plagued with periods of forgetfulness and trouble finding words, even in English. He spoke of the discourse with Kikutake Youta, and they tried to examine the implications.

"They met up with the wrong  _kami_ ," Eriol summarized. "Perhaps before their rise during the Muromachi, perhaps after their fall. This  _kami_ was a demon, and wanted sacrifices. It promised them great magic in return. They accepted, because they are like that. They've probably spent centuries accumulating power. You saw what happened with the Sleep and the Erase. They had little to no effect. It wasn't just Kikutake Youta; his entire clan was made up of powerful sorcerers, probably all eating up the magic they had stolen over the decades. Who knows how many sorcerers and magical children the Chrysanthemums consumed in just _those_ years. If we all focused on one of them at a time, we could easily subdue each, but all at once, and with restrictions on time and stamina—I don't know if we can save him."

It was a devastating admission, and Kaho was so tired. The coffee-maker spat and gurgled out the drink, and they listened to it for a moment as it hissed and spurted and squelched.

"We tried twice in a row, and nearly lost Ruby," said Kaho. "Perhaps we really should wait until morning. Sleep might give us some ideas."

"Maybe," said Eriol.

They abandoned the coffee and ended up going to bed. Eriol was so depleted, he fell asleep instantly, but he slept fitfully, grinding his teeth as if trying to gnaw away his anxiety, all through the night. Kaho was compelled to reheat the now cold coffee, and they looked bleakly at the time.

"We need help," said Kaho. "This isn't going to work."

Eriol said nothing.

"We might need to request help from a  _kami_ of our own," Kaho went on.

"That never goes over well," said Eriol.

"Depends on the  _kami_."

Eriol suddenly looked at her. "What did Daidouji say the man called him?"

"Hm?"

"Lightning child, was it?"

Kaho paused. "Strange moniker."

"Lightning is sun magic," said Eriol. "Li Syaoran has moon magic. The cards also bonded with his right eye, which is affiliated with the sun."

"What are you thinking?"

Eriol sighed, then rubbed his face. "I don't know. I don't know, Kaho. He could have come from something to do with the sun, but why does he have moon magic? Just because his family is eastern? That can't be right. Or he could be going somewhere. He could have been…"

He sighed. "Oh, what does it matter  _now?_ "

Kaho waited a beat, watching Eriol rub his face again. "The Kikutake would have left the shrine by now," she said, "but we kept interrupting, and the police would have disrupted their work. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to have a look around there; see if there are any clues as to the source of their  _ounusa_ , or something else."

Eriol threw up his hands. "Can't hurt. We don't have many options."

"Eriol," Kaho reached out and touched his shoulder, "we haven't failed him yet. Don't give up now."

"He's been in their hands for over two days," he whispered, "and I don't know if I can get him out."

"We'll get him out," Kaho promised.

"One way or another," Eriol looked away. "He surprises his mother. Maybe he'll pull off another miracle. Whatever he is."


	10. Full Circle

They went to the shrine early that morning to find the area taped off. Multiple officers were killed by the clan. There were reporters at the scene, which the group took pains to avoid. With some Illusion and play on light, they entered the area to find the place deserted.

Police had already swept through the place, and most of the clues were taken away by the clan or by the forensics team. But the tomb was untouched; the entrance could only be opened by magic. Inside was stale air and the smell of cigarettes, but the walls were painted with glorious scenes of court ladies, scholars on the beaches, and peach trees. In one empty chamber, with a ceiling glittering with stars and celestial deities, Kero and Spinel sniffed out Li's hair, the smell of urine and vomit, and bits of blood on the ground.

Touya kept Sakura outside, leaving Yukito with her. He regarded the dark stains on the ground with a cold feeling. It was not just that this could have been his sister; it was just as important, now, that the boy himself had suffered in this room. He could sense the boy's terror in the sick on the ground that the sorcerers never bothered cleaning, his despair in the growing certainty that no one was coming for him. He felt the gnawing hunger, the all-consuming thirst, and then the confusion, the weakness, as the child's sweat finally poured out more water than the boy could physically spare. Headache and fever, and labored breathing, when he choked on his own retch and infection settled into his lungs.

The adjacent chamber was for the  _harae—_ a long wooden table with a cuff at the head and straps around the torso and legs. They had strapped the boy down, cheek pressed against the wood, and drew magic from him for hours. There were echoes of his screams still resonating in the air, back when he still had the strength to scream. The straps were leather, tough and thick. A grown man would not be able to free himself, let alone a small child. The Kikutake sorcerers stood around watching as the boy sobbed and cried, drinking in his power, before throwing him back in the other room filled with his own urine and sick.

Hiiragizawa looked like he aged sixty years. He stood in the torture chamber with his head tilted up and his eyes shut, in a posture of despair so profound, he almost looked like he was soaking up the misery around him. When he did move, he was slow, as if all motivation had been sucked out of him.

There was nothing else the tomb had to offer them. They left and sealed the door shut behind them. Kero sat on Yukito's shoulder and cried. Sakura looked at Touya with an expression of deep apprehension, and did not dare ask what they found.

* * *

The group did not track the Kikutake clan's whereabouts, but the police were now further invested in the case, and the Organized Crime Department had gotten involved. As such, they were aware of where the Kikutake had resettled, but it was fortress that was hidden with layers of magic, and non-magical people could not enter. Without a good strategy to contend with the  _ounusa,_ Hiiragizawa did not feel it wise to attempt another rescue. Another day thus passed with Li Syaoran in their clutches, with Hiiragizawa and Kaho deep in discussion, and the guardians withdrawn on their own.

Nadeshiko did not materialized, though Touya tried calling for her. The cards offered no solutions. Meanwhile, Touya and Tomoyo were responsible for warding off the adults; Fujitaka and Sonomi were both very distraught about the recent chaos, and did not understand why their children were constantly running off. "They're ten years old," he said to them, because Irony had become his new nickname, "what could they possibly be up to?"

"Drugs," Fujitaka said with a straight face. He was actually joking, but ever since then, Touya could not stop trying (and failing) to imagine Sakura taking up a joint. "When you're a parent, you'll understand," his father assured him.

 _Iie, I don't think so,_ Touya thought, but chose not to argue.

As time passed, it became increasingly clear that Li Syaoran might actually die before they reached him. The group was running out of ideas they could safely try. Yukito, who had been involved in the sometimes heated discussions, eventually withdrew—he said to think, but more likely it was to collect himself. Touya found him in the hotel parking lot, surrounded by diesel fumes, arms folded and head bowed.

They had not spoken much since the quarrel, and certainly not about it. There was too much going on, too much at stake. But now everything seemed doomed, and they were all exhausted. They were not giving up only because they knew that they would regret it later, not because they had much hope. It seemed there was not much they  _could_ do, except compulsively go over old mistakes and regrets.

Touya was not sure what to make of Yukito; he still was unsettled by the idea of Yue behind that familiar countenance, but Yue had been there when Yukito became Touya's confidante. Yue was there seven years ago when Touya desperately needed a friend. Perhaps Yue and Yukito were angry with Touya now, especially after the harsh words he said, but if that was the case, Touya would take the hint. For now though, he resolved to at least try and offer some support. It seemed the least he could do, especially considering he seemed to be the most useless of the group. Even Tomoyo at least knew some of the lore and could offer insight.

But Yukito smiled at him when he saw Touya approach. It was not a happy smile, but it was so Yukito that Touya realized he need not have worried.

Touya joined him, and they stood together, soaking in the fumes.

"Kind of stuffy here," Touya remarked.

" _Un,_ " Yukito agreed.

Neither of them moved.

 _We're such idiots,_ Touya thought.  _Of all places to mope, why are we picking this parking lot?_ But neither did he know how to extract them from this place.

They stood in silence for a long time, watching the cars pull in and pull out. A few passers-by gave them brief looks, but did not dwell on it; two teenagers standing in the parking lot was hardly grounds for suspicion, it seemed.

"The whole thing was rocky from the start," Yukito told him without preamble. "He passed and when he became Card Master, it was just so…devastating. Then he wouldn't bond with the cards and then they hurt him when he did bond…I don't know. It's all so…I mean  _Kero-chan_ and I both knew that everything would have been fine, if we could just get over ourselves. Deep down.  _Kero-chan_ didn't want to leave  _Sakura-san_ , was so disappointed, but the boy let him stay with her, you know. And he convinced his mother to let him stay in Japan. I wasn't there but…he said it was to help  _Sakura-san_ , but it's also so we could stay. So he wouldn't tear us away. He doesn't say these things, but he's always telling me to go be with you, that I didn't need to feel obligated to be with him, he's done fine on his own for the past year, he'd be alright, and so on and so forth. He doesn't  _tell_ you when he's looking out for you. Stupid boy."

Touya inhaled, smelling the gasoline, and opted not to mention what Tomoyo had told him about how exactly Li had convinced his mother.

"He's not dead yet," Touya pointed out, "there's still hope. Schrödinger's cat."

"If even Clow Reed doesn't know how to overcome this bunch, I don't know who can," Yukito looked at Touya, and Yue's eyes peered from his face, just as desolate. "And the  _harae…_ when  _Syaoran-san_ learned how the Kikutake got all their victims, he was terrified. And he was just as frightened of us as he was of them."

"Why?" Touya asked.

"Because he's not Japanese," Yukito admitted lowly.

Touya said nothing for a moment.

"Well," he stated, deciding that they had felt sorry for themselves for long enough, "I say we prove him wrong, then. Only someone of Japanese blood can possibly be as annoying as he is."

Yukito snorted. "You would say that,  _To-ya._ "

"Because I'm right," Touya clapped his friend on the shoulder,  _and isn't it so strange that I'm clapping an angel on the shoulder?_ But Yukito gave him a smile that was so full of relief, Touya decided to let the matter go. After all, it was not as if Yue were shrugging him off.

He talked a big talk, but it seemed to help; Yue went back with a much better state of morale than when he left. Sakura, too, seemed to have received similar encouragement from Tomoyo, as well as some inspiration.

"There must be some way to stop that  _ounusa,_ " she said to Kaho. "Surely the Return Card would be able to show us something."

Hiiragizawa and Kaho were not enthusiastic about this idea, though they also did not reject it.

"They might pierce through the protections," said Hiiragizawa.

"I thought only powerful sorcerers could do that," said Sakura. "They wouldn't be strong enough if they need the  _ounusa,_ would they?"

"Sending someone that far back would require  _immense_ power," said Kaho.

"We have four sorcerers," Hiiragizawa said wearily. "And they're after Clow Reed's time. Even so, we would be down for the count when it's over, and we wouldn't be able to sustain it for long."

"We need to try  _something_ ," Kaho pointed out, "and there isn't anything that is without risk."

Hiiragizawa pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't think we have much choice, then."

The person he elected to send was himself, much to Touya's relief. There were still, however, many precautions they had to take.

"Li Syaoran's ownership of the cards broke a lot of rules, some of which you are aware of, others you are not," he addressed Kero and Yukito. "Ignoring the matter of his origins; I do not know them, nor does his mother, and at present I'm choosing to view that as irrelevant; he has a reservoir of power that he cannot access all at once. This reservoir is immense, and is the reason we have as much time as we do. During the nineteen-forties, the Kikutake would drain people of their magic within a matter of mere hours, before killing them. Li's magic is, as far as we can tell, almost endless." He related the story of the kid's punishment via lifting a boulder for hours, which was the sort of thing that would horrify Touya even if it were done the non-magical way. "Magic grows as we get older," Hiiragizawa added, "so it's safe to assume that he has even more, which he cannot use all at once. He can, however, sustain a prolonged expenditure, as illustrated in  _your_ case," he inclined his head at Yukito. "You've been in your true form more often than your false form since he became Card Master. Your are made of moon magic; you cannot sustain yourself, just as the moon does not possess its own light. Your strength is derived from your master's. Li Syaoran can support you in your true form and then some for an indefinite period. Kinomoto Sakura," he gestured, "cannot. And if we deplete our energies in order to cast the Return, Sakura will be down for the count, and you might also be out. The same can be said for me and Ruby Moon: she needs my power to sustain her, so if I am down, she is down. We'll distribute the spell between the four of us, but regardless of how long this takes, it's safe to assume we're going to be on a very  _very_ tight budget once this is over, so if the Kikutake choose this moment to attack, the only ones we can rely on are Spinel Sun and Cerberus."

"That's…" Touya winced, " _really_ reassuring, _Hiiragizawa-san._ "

"Believe me," the boy (or man, Touya had given up making logic out of anything these days) looked irritably at him, "I'm as thrilled about this as you are. But the truth is, even if we give up on Li Syaoran, we can't let these people run around Japan as they are. They need to be stopped. The  _ounusa_ is the main problem; everything else can be overcome."

To reduce the amount of time they had to sustain the spell, Hiiragizawa and Kaho collaborated to calculate the exact time the  _ounusa_ might have been created, which spanned several decades. Hiiragizawa was going to "hop" between years to narrow down the event, but without overt records, since the bastardized  _harae_ itself had been rumor until it was proven at the shrine, they could not be more specific. Hiiragizawa noted grimly that they might have to do more than one session in order to find what they were looking for. Therefore, they all agreed to do this at Kaho's apartment, as there was less of a chance they would be interrupted compared to if they did this at the hotel.

The Return Card was a very unpleasant card to use. It seemed to suck out Touya's guts, and only sheer determination kept him from withdrawing; he could not force his sister to handle any more of the burden than she had to. The trip itself seemed to last forever; Hiiragizawa had warned that he might have to search a bit, but nothing could have prepared Touya for the awful experience.

The session lasted two hours. Touya felt like he was dying by the end, and Sakura straight up passed out. The good news was, Hiiragizawa found what they were looking for.

"The way to neutralize the  _ounusa_ is actually quite simple," said Hiiragizawa, looking quite put out. "It's water."

Kaho stared. "Water?"

"Because the thing is made of paper," Hiiragizawa closed his eyes, as if he had a headache. "It—it doesn't work if it's wet."

There was a heavy silence for a moment as everyone took this in.

"Are you kidding me?!" Kero cried.

"It can't be that easy," Kaho exclaimed in disbelief. "They've had this for years upon years."

"Well it  _is_ more complicated than that," Hiiragizawa admitted, "It has to be a holy water. From a  _misogi_. So water from a purification waterfall that is specifically collected on the eleventh day of a month. _And_ the Kikutake are aware of this weakness; they had doused the paper in grease after this was tried once before."

"So it's  _not_ so simple, then," Touya remarked, not sure if he felt relieved or even more irate. "We are also nowhere near the eleventh day of the month." The eleventh, as it happened, had passed one week ago. "Unless you can rewind time to one week ago?"

"We can," said Hiiragizawa, with a straight face. "The Kikutake would know, though."

"We would have used it earlier to avoid this whole situation altogether, otherwise," said Kaho. Clearly they had discussed this before.

"Time is not the kind of spell you want to use if you can help it," Hiiragizawa added. "You anger the kinds of folks that you really don't want to attract the attention of."

"We'd need time anyway," Kaho looked at Sakura. "Real time. Time spells cost the most energy."

Touya sighed. He felt restless, as if something were coming, but he did not have the strength to even  _want_ to participate in another spell, which he had a feeling a rewind would require.

"How much time am I going to feel this way?" he asked. "And how much time is it going to take before  _she_ wakes up?"

"She'll wake up before she's ready to do any more magic," Hiiragizawa leaned back, looking as exhausted as Touya felt. "We need until tonight, at least, based on how I'm feeling." It was still before noon.

"Another  _tonight?_ " Yukito exclaimed. "We're leaving the boy there for the whole  _day?_ "

"My primary goal is to stop the Kikutake," said Hiiragizawa. "I don't think we can rescue the boy."

Yukito leaned back, looking like he had been punched in the gut.

"He's still alive," Touya exclaimed, even though he had no logical reason to know this, "as long as he hasn't given up, we can't give up either."

"I know!" Hiiragizawa snapped. "And I'm  _not_ giving up on him, but we can't save him without ending the Kikutake and stopping their  _ounusa._ Tell me that you honestly think we can use the Time Card  _and_ launch an offensive against the Chrysanthemums  _right now_. Go ahead!"

There was a knock on the door. They all froze. Slowly, Kaho moved to her feet and went to the door. She took a look, did a double-take, and then opened the door.

There was an Asian woman with black hair and skin as white as Hiiragizawa's. She wore a silk blouse and a long skirt, topped with a wide-brimmed hat and Audrey Hepburn glasses.

"Big Trouble in Little Japan?" she stated in British-accented English.

"Oh  _God,"_ Hiiragizawa groaned. "That was a  _stupid_ movie."

* * *

Li's mother was every bit as intimidating in person as she was over the phone. Calm and collected, she instantly commanded the room. Even Mizuki was nervous, and she was not the one Li Yelan kept glaring at: that honor went to Hiiragizawa. Though Yukito seemed to dodge her attention altogether, he was still rather terrified.

"Kikutake," she enunciated, "the Fleas of Japan," which Yukito had to admit, was a more fitting name than Chrysanthemum, given everything going on. "I suppose there's a valid reason they still persist. What is it, nationalist sympathies? Some misplaced sense of patriotism?"

"Don't be insulting," Hiiragizawa snapped.

"Oh," she said coolly, "it seems that would be hard to do, then."

"They have a weapon. It is not insignificant."

Li Yelan folded her hands. "What weapon is this?"

She listened to the explanation of the  _ounusa,_ its original purpose and what the Kikutake were doing, as well as the difficulty in neutralizing its powers. Hiiragizawa did not hide that currently, all the sorcerers in the group had been depleted.

"A gamble," said Li Yelan.

"Don't we all?" Hiiragizawa returned.

"Mm," she smiled unpleasantly. "As for the bastardized  _harae_ , I might have something we can use in lieu of some 'holy water'."

She reached into her purse and withdrew a large fan. It was white, with an embroidered orchid on the bottom near the base.

Hiiragizawa stared at it. "Mother's fan," he murmured.

Yue also recognized it, stirring from somewhere in Yukito's mind. Kerberus also perked up, ears lifting. Clow's mother had worked on it for years and years and years prior to the creation of Yue and Kerberus; she never seemed to stop sewing it, and yet despite all the time and effort, the design was rather simple, and there was nothing at first glance to suggest that there was any complicated embroidery or needlework involved. Yue and Kerberus never figured out what it was for, either, or what it could do, only that Clow's mother had placed great importance in it, and did not pass it down to her son.

Despite its age, the fan was pristine; the white was crisp and the colors of the orchid were vivid. As in the past, it revealed nothing magical about it; it was simple and inert.

Hiiragizawa leaned forward. "May I?"

Li picked it up with both hands, one by the handle and one by the silk head. Hiiragizawa accepted it the same way, rotating it so it was upright, his right hand balancing the fan by the handle on the bottom.

"Cerberus, Yue," he intoned, "you were blessed with this very fan when you were born."

Kero floated over Hiiragizawa's shoulder at this. He peered down in curiosity, but was not particularly impressed.

"This also blessed the Clow Cards," Hiiragizawa added.

"What do you mean by 'bless'?" Touya asked.

"Exactly that," said Hiiragizawa. "Clow Reed's mother was a very powerful sorceress. She made this, and in many ways is far more powerful than anything Clow had ever created. It is an object of pure virtue. It can lift curses, break through dark shields, and shield from black spells." He tilted the fan back so it was horizontal and offered it back to Li Yelan, who picked it up with one hand. "I didn't realize it is still around. Thought it had been destroyed."

Li Yelan lifted the fan. "Touch any water with this, and it's as good as any so-called 'holy water'."

"Mm," Hiiragizawa agreed. "But that still leaves the issue of the grease."

"What do you plan to do?" asked the Chinese sorceress. "Throw the  _ounusa_ in a washing machine?"

"Actually," Hiiragizawa began, but then looked to the side. Sakura had woken up, and was staring at the group.

"Oh," she exclaimed. "I— _ano_ …"

* * *

It was agreed that Li Yelan would give them until that evening before mounting a rescue.

"You have to hit them with everything you have," Hiiragizawa told Sakura. "You can't hold back. None of these people will."

Sakura was terrified.

"Can't we just bring a bucket of water and throw it?" Touya exclaimed. He was ignored. Sakura wished someone would answer him, because she was wishing desperately for the same thing. He was also frustrated because he and Tomoyo were delegated as damage control for the adults, and would not be joining them.

"Tonight is  _the_ night," said Hiiragizawa. "She's not going to leave without her son, so either we get him out or we get his body out.  _Li-san_ and I will draw away Youta. You three will be responsible for retrieving Li Syaoran. Cast Bubbles and Watery, then  _go._ Don't let anything get in your way. We pull back as soon as we have him."

Sakura gulped. Hiiragizawa rested his hand on her shoulder.

"Stay close to your guardians," he told her, "they will protect you. That is their priority above all else."

It felt like this was the last attempt. There was an energy to it, the knowledge that if they failed this time, there will not be a next time. Li Yelan chose Kero as her mount when they took to the skies. The guardian did not complain. They sped over the buildings, soaring against the wind. Below, the headlights of cars streamed down the highways, and above were airplanes in flight. The fortress was actually at the top of a mountain, with spells that hid it from view. At first, Sakura could not see it, but when Hiiragizawa pointed it out, she focused,  _squinted_ , and then it was there. A tall, majestic  _yamajiro_ , or mountain castle, with steep stone walls at the base to repel invaders. High turrets overlooked the landscape, topped with black roofs.

Hiiragizawa fired a spell before they even reached the place: a wide series of flaming bolts that flew like meteors into the castle interior. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun added a burst of speed, disappearing from the group's formation. Kaho, who was riding on Spinel Sun, added her own spells; silvery moon magic that shimmered around where the wards use to be. Hiiragizawa cast another flaming spell, which lit one of the rooms on fire.

By the time the rest of them reached the  _yamajiro,_ the sorcerers were already waiting for them. Yue grabbed Sakura to help her dodge, compelling her to cancel out the Fly. Kero dove down with Li Yelan, who leaped off as she summoned a tempest that nearly took a roof off. Hiiragizawa also dove down, and when he landed the ground shook, forming cracks along the stone walls.

Li Yelan was very powerful—the strongest of the group, what with Hiiragizawa's magic somewhat depleted by the Return, and her rage could be felt through every spell. Her magic was sharp and cutting, lightning fast and as wild as a tsunami. She, like her son, was also good at martial arts, and though she did not use a sword, the fan seemed just as lethal, spilling blood with every blow.

Then the  _ounusa_ appeared, swiping the air in a white arc. Li Yelan twisted and blocked. There was a bright flash that knocked both of them back. Kikutake Youta stumbled but remained on his feet. Li Yelan landed more gracefully, fan shielding her face. She lowered it to eye her enemy.

"How do you like these odds?" she sneered.

Kikutake Youta charged forward, lunging with his staff. Li Yelan blocked and tried to get a blow in, but he was fast too, and physically stronger. With a burst of magic, he blasted her back. Li Yelan coughed up blood as she stumbled, but did not fall.

" _Sakura-san!"_ Hiiragizawa shouted, "Bubbles! Watery! Now!"

Sakura scrambled to draw the card as the sorcerer intercepted, shooting spells at Youta. Youta, on the other hand, merely blocked with his staff, which absorbed each spell, but Hiiragizawa kept firing. She slammed her wand down upon the Bubbles, which shot out in a wave of froth. It arched up as Sakura drew the Watery, and as the latter spiraled forward, they wound together, twisting, before shooting toward Li Yelan.

Li lifted her fan and hit the spirits toward Youta as if she were playing tennis. Her fan glowed a bright, like the moon, and Bubbles and Watery both changed, losing their color to become silvery white. Reflexively, Youta raised his staff to block, but this time his staff did not just absorb. Powered by the fan's purification, Bubbles rinsed the grease off the paper strips, while Watery wet them, rendering them useless. The rest of the spells struck Youta himself, knocking him back.

Hiiragizawa twirled his staff and struck the base of it on the ground, causing it to quake. He looked up at Sakura and waved his hand. Yue adjusted his hold, and they dove to the side. Bubbles and Watery reformed into cards and sailed back to her. She caught both. Kero joined them then, rushing forward as Yue set Sakura on the ground.

"Stay behind me!" Kero called behind. He folded his wings close and dashed into one of the buildings. Sakura followed him in, heart hammering, but there was no one inside the first room.

They went through two more rooms this way. Kero then dashed down a series of stairs into the cellar. Sakura followed, Yue running behind. They came upon a stockroom, with wooden barrels filled with  _sake_. The smell of the liquor was potent, as some of it had spilled during the mayhem. In the adjacent rooms were lumbar piles and a food cache. Some more supplies: mainly office materials, staples and papers, folders and binders, boxes of pens and yellow pads.

They came back upstairs. A young man, probably no older than Sakura's brother, gaped at them in surprise. Kero knocked him out with one swipe of his paw; he was as big as a lion and likely much stronger than one. Hysterically, Sakura noted that she should really tell  _Li-kun_ to stop making fun of Kero's false form, because his true form was  _powerful_. And kind of scary.

They searched the whole building and came across two more sorcerers, both of which were harder to dispatch; Sakura ended up using the Power card to knock them out as Kero had; a good bonk to the head with her staff, and they were down. It was almost easier this way, because none of them expected this of a ten-year-old girl, and the card actually required very little magic to use.

They found Li in the next building, in the basement. At first, Sakura did not even realize there was a human being there. The room was cluttered with bricks and bits of stone that were not used for the castle's renovations, it was dark, and there were cobwebs everywhere. Li was also blindfolded and gagged, obscuring much of his face, and his arms and legs were bound tightly together so that he did not even look like a person anymore. He lied limp and still on his face, hardly even breathing, but with every shallow movement of his ribs, a sickening gurgle spurted and popped, like a death rattle.

Yue abandoned Sakura's side, running to him. Li did not react to his touch. If not for the rales, Sakura would have thought him dead. Kero pawed at his hair as Yue rolled him over, trying to provoke some kind of reaction.

" _Ei_ , kid," the sun guardian exclaimed, his voice shaking. "we're here to get you out. Kid,"

The stairs creaked. Sakura jumped and looked back.

Yue gathered Li into his arms. "Get us out," he said to Sakura. "Get us out, right now. Right now,  _Sakura-sama,_ we have to get out  _right now!_ "

Panicking, Sakura summoned Windy, sending the spirit flying at the door. She ran after it, and heard Kero and Yue following behind. Powered by her fear, Windy blasted the sorcerers back, but a couple still managed to maintain their footing. Kero lunged forward, summoning his barrier to protect Sakura from their spells. The three were forced to stop. The barrier went down, and Kero blew fireballs forward, before extending his wings to physically knock the nearest sorcerer away. Behind her, Yue unleashed his crystal shards which sailed over Sakura's head. They struck a few sorcerers, but not enough to get rid of them. Windy doubled back, plowing across them, but it was not strong enough. They used its momentum to propel their own spells, compelling Kero to summon the barrier again. One went through, striking him in the flank, and the barrier went down.

Sakura drew another card; she had no idea what it was, only that she had to cast  _something_ —but it seemed the cards had their own ideas, and out came Sand. From the floor and the dust in the air, coarse particles accumulated and started going everywhere. Into the eyes, up the nose, between the teeth and within the ears. Blinded and choking, the sorcerers had to stop.

Sakura gaped, hardly believing her success, but Kero was already nudging her backward. She turned to see Yue kicking open a window, breaking the shutters off in his desperation. Li remained unresponsive, head lolling as if about to fall off. Kero pushed her again, and she stepped forward as Yue jumped through and out. She scrambled to follow, but could not do so quickly enough; Kero gave her another brutal push, sending her face-first into the dirt. He then jumped out after, nearly landing on her. Behind, the Sand was still wrecking havoc.

Yue adjusted Li in his hold. "We need to get him out of here." His voice cracked, and his eyes were bright. Sakura realized he was panicking as much as she had been.

"Go!" Kero yelled behind them. "I'll tell the others! Get out of here! Now!"

"Hurry!" Yue cried, leaping up. Sakura canceled the Sand card, which traveled to her, and then slammed her wand down upon the Fly. Scooting onto the staff, she and Yue both took off. Kero leaped across the courtyard toward the others, his body suddenly flashing bright gold. Hiiragizawa was already down, his staff clattered to the side; it was Li Yelan, mainly, powered by a mother's love and the blessing of an ancestor thousands of years ago, who held the battle's reins.

Sakura and Yue flew away.

* * *

Li was met with a flurry of activity in the emergency department. Fifty people must have surrounded the bed, between nurses and doctors and technicians. They cut through the gag and all of his clothes to look for any traumatic wounds, and then placed an oxygen mask over him. He was obtunded, cold, and so dehydrated that he was no longer producing urine. They weighed him and inserted a line to deliver fluids straight into his bone, bending his leg at the knee and jamming a huge needle in. They placed a warming blanket over him.  They took an EKG. They summoned anesthesia. They drew little tubes of blood and ran from the room to deliver them to the lab.

Yukito was the one they asked questions about, and of course he had absolutely no idea how to answer any of them. Any medical problems? "… _Iie?_ " Any allergies? But it was a while before Li Yelan came, sporting a broken wrist and a bruised cheek, during which time the doctors already started him on antibiotics for the raging pneumonia seen on chest x-ray, and through it all, Li lay chillingly still and unresponsive. She had come without Hiiragizawa or Mizuki. By this time, they were already wheeling him to the pediatric intensive-care unit.

They hooked him to a monitor and hung the countless bags of fluids. Upon arrival, they measured his temperature again, measured his blood pressure, and Li continued to lie there, a red band of rash across his face from where his vomit had been stuck behind his gag, a tube attached to a ventilator that hissed and beeped at regular intervals. Li Yelan did not sit with her son; instead she stood at the foot of his bed, gazing down on his form as if committing it to memory. Sakura sat at his other side, holding his hand tightly. His hands were both freezing, despite being tucked under a warming blanket.

Sakura had felt Li's hands before. They were strong, confident, capable. These hands hardly felt like his anymore, fingers limp, and with his face lax, he was hardly even recognizable.

Touya eventually called; by this time it was two in the morning.

 _"Anything?"_ he demanded.

" _Gomen nasai,"_ Sakura whimpered. "I'm at the hospital."

_"Are you hurt?"_

"… _Iie._ "

She almost expected her brother to answer "Good". Instead, he said,  _"You found him then?"_

" _Hai._ "

_"I'll tell Otou-san. Stay right there. I'm coming over."_

He arrived about an hour later, with Fujitaka in tow. Fujitaka took one look at Li and did not mention taking his children home. Hiiragizawa showed up two hours after that: "Police," he explained, and added, " _Kaho-san_ is still dealing with it." He sat on the other side of Li, arms folded and legs crossed, staring at the ventilator machine. 

The doctor came in to check on Li every hour, while the nurse came in to check his vitals every hour. Li remained unconscious through it all. Eventually, his hands warmed, and his blood pressure settled.

"You should get some rest," Hiiragizawa said to Sakura and Fujitaka. Dawn had illuminated the horizon past the buildings across the room's windows.

Sakura was too exhausted to feel any emotion, and too numb to argue. "Alright," she said.

"Take  _Tsukishiro-san_ with you. Don't forget the stuffed bear."

Sakura wondered where Ruby and Spinel were, but then figured they must still be with Mizuki.

"I can stay," Yukito protested.

"Go," said Hiiragizawa. " _Li-san_ and I will sit with him. The rest of you should go."

Worrying her lip, and feeling like she might burst into tears, Sakura stood before she could lose her composure.

"You did well,  _Kinomoto-san_ ," Hiiragizawa said to her without looking at her. "I am proud of you."

He sounded like he meant it, and yet Sakura had never heard anyone sound so disappointed. Sakura had also never felt more hurt by such words. Her brother laid a hand on her shoulder to guide her away. She tried to think of something to say, but gave up as he continued to push her.


	11. Aftermath

News broke out that morning that Li Syaoran had been rescued. His captors had been holding him in one of Japan's old castles, which had since been wrecked by fires, floods, and earthquakes. The media was in uproar, and dodging them was harder than dealing with the Kikutake themselves. Eriol, Kaho, and the guardians got to her apartment at a quarter to noon, with Kaho exhausted from dealing with the police, and Eriol exhausted from dealing with Li Syaoran's mother. The sorcerers both went to bed and slept for about twenty hours, waking up the following morning. There were numerous phone calls that they both slept through, but Ruby had fielded, enthusiastically telling everyone they had "no comment".

He had sent the group away to speak with Li Yelan alone, something he felt obligated to do considering she was present and Li Syaoran himself was out of commission. He expected that she would want to take her son home to recuperate, but given that he was not acting Card Master, transferring ownership would be complicated in this state.

Li Yelan surprised him, however.

"When he was alive," she told him, "Xiaolang'sfather tried very hard to defy his death date. it was set shortly after Xiaolang was born, or perhaps right then and we just didn't know it. It was not so much that he was afraid of death: he would never risk his son's life, and I would have killed him myself if he tried. But we felt cheated, because we were promised a longer marriage, and we could not understand why this happened. For three years, we went to all manner of people. And beings. One might say, if Japan is a doorway, Hong Kong is yet another. There are all manner of beings there. They exacted many payments in return for the promise of prolonged life. At first, we paid on our own. Later on, though, both his clan and mine contributed. Large stores, gold, jade, old artifacts. This fan I had rescued, but its loss was a near thing. And this would have been acceptable, if any of them fulfilled their end of the transaction. My husband is a powerful sorcerer. It was worthwhile to keep him alive, in service of our families."

"You need them back," Eriol realized.

"Many of these payments are not a simple matter of getting them back. There are magical pieces, that have true consequences. A number of them have been used against us already. Ours is a powerful clan; others always jump at the opportunity to crush us down."

"Such is the way of the world," Eriol intoned. "Do you need help?"

She smiled, the first honest smile he had seen from her. "We are not in such dire straits, as you might recall. The problem is more the insolence than the damage, so we must make our statement ourselves. But I think you," she paused, "and as matriarch of my clan, I will relay your good will to the others. But in addition to the threats from the outside, many watch Xiaolang for any sign of trouble. We don't know his purpose here. So you see: the situation is far more complicated."

A day later, after eating a small breakfast, Eriol went to the hotel where the Kinomotos and the Daidoujis were staying. Sakura and Tomoyo both turned off their cell phones when Li Syaoran's recovery made headlines, and the Kinomoto siblings also slept for the majority of the previous day. Yukito stayed with Kinomoto Touya, and was thus there with Sakura and Cerberus when Eriol arrived.

"How is he doing?" Sakura asked, unaware that she still looked sleep-tussled.

"He's stable. They were talking about extubating him, but I didn't stay to see if they actually did so. His mother is still with him. I have reason to believe he'll wake," he continued, "and that he should recover, at least in body, given rest and some time. The psychologic trauma, I can do nothing for. I'd erase his memories, but thanks to the indiscretion of the Chrysanthemums, his abduction and rescue are all over the news, plus the hurt is deep down where no magic can reach. As such, and for reasons I'm not at liberty to disclose, he cannot return to Hong Kong in this state. He is not going to be happy about this."

"Why can't he go back—"

"I can't discuss it." Eriol had argued already with Li Yelan, but she had ultimately convinced him of her convictions when she offered him something he never thought she would. "Suffice to say, when Li Syaoran is discharged from the hospital, I will assume guardianship of him. Indefinitely."

The three of them were shocked speechless. Sakura opened and closed her mouth.

" _Li-kun…_ " she trailed off.

"The most important thing is that we got him out." Eriol looked at her. "He will live," he promised.

Sakura did not look encouraged.

Eriol reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder. "I mean it," he said to Sakura, "you did a great job. I've been asking far too much out of you. I wouldn't have if I had any other choice, but you did your part."

" _Li-kun_ is my friend," she said sadly.

"I know. Even so, you did better than I could have ever hoped," he insisted. "You would have made a great Card Mistress."

Sakura blinked, and then he saw the revelation dawn on her.

"Li Yelan and I were talking, yesterday," Eriol went on, "about how everything went down, and where to go from here." He looked over at Yukito and Cerberus at the room table. "Obviously Li Syaoran cannot receive ownership of the cards at this time."

They were all silent.

"The question is, should he receive ownership at all," said Eriol.

" _Nani?"_ Sakura exclaimed. "Just because he was defeated by the Kikutake?"

" _Iie._ Even I would have struggled against the Chrysanthemums. I would never expect him to. It's not because he doesn't deserve the cards. As far as I'm concerned, he's a rightful Card Master. But ever since the Final Judgment, there have been hitches, and I don't know if it's worth risking them all again."

Cerberus and Yukito looked away.

"I don't know the particulars," Eriol stated, feeling somewhat surprised by his own placid tone. Must be his British upbringing, he thought. "I heard some snippets from Kaho. It's thrown everyone for a loop, this I understand. I don't think I  _want_ to know the particulars, based on what I have learned. Ultimately, the situation is this: the cards need a master, and either Li Syaoran or Kinomoto Sakura would be very acceptable. I am content with either. The choice is therefore up to the four of you."

Sakura blinked rapidly, as if struggling to process this.

"I would give  _him_ some time," Eriol went on, "because he will have enough to deal with. You can discuss amongst yourselves. If you would rather  _Sakura-san_ be Card Mistress, then it's simple. I will allow her to retain ownership of the cards. If _Sakura-san_ does not want the cards, in light of the attention they attract, and you feel you can handle  _Syaoran-san_ as Card Master, that you're willing to call him as such, protect, defend, and guide him," he paused, "and if he's willing to do likewise, I'll transfer ownership once he's stable. But you should start giving it some thought. From what I understand, what happened these past few days was not an accident, bad luck, coincidence," he paused again, "so you should consider what needs to be changed, going forward."

All three of them were silent; Sakura was the only one looking at him, and she was the only innocent one out of the trio. The other two avoided eye contact.

"I'm going to visit him," he announced, "if you want to join me."

He had given a lot of thought, as to how to address the guardians: he imagined yelling at them, scolding them, outlining his profound disappointment, releasing his anger and pain at the suffering of a child who had already suffered so much. But after a day and a night, he had woken up realizing that all of the guardians' flaws had been Clow's own fault, just as Madoushi's had been. Clow had wanted his guardians to have the ability to love, but had never taught them how to deal with heartbreak; his final lesson had been the impermanence of all things, but he did not linger to help the guardians cope with the aftermath, to ensure they dealt with it appropriately. He could not blame Yue or Cerberus for not loving Syaoran; love was not something to be commanded in such a way, and while he was furious that they allowed this to hinder their duties, at the same time it was not something Clow himself had anticipated they would face, or trained them to overcome.

In the end, as Eriol had so often insisted, he was not Clow Reed, and the legacy of his past incarnation was meant to propel itself forward without his influence. The guardians were designed to be able to make their own decisions. He might not agree with them, but it was no longer his place to dictate them as before. Eriol was not the Card Master. And the guardians must live with the consequences of their choices, as with any sentient being.

* * *

Li Syaoran looked dramatically better compared to when Eriol last saw him; the wonders, he mused, of childhood. Even in Clow's day, children were fast little things in everything they did, whether it was growing, learning, recovering from illness, or dying. He was awake, they had extubated him, and he now wore a mask, but he still had a crippling cough. He was very weak, and he was not producing much urine. As a result, his whole body was slightly swollen, and they had slowed down his fluids. He looked at his visitors with such misery that Eriol regretted inviting the group over, but that was over and done now.

He leaned over to touch the boy's cheek. "Xiaolang. How are you feeling?"

Syaoran looked at him blankly, and Eriol realized that the boy had actually never met Eriol before.

" _Watashi wa Hiiragizawa Eriol desu_ ," he introduced. "You had us worried for a long time, little one."

Syaoran blinked, then looked over to Sakura, who came forward.

" _Li-kun,_ " she called, "You're awake! I'm so glad!"

Syaoran tried to reach up, but there was a line in his hand that tugged as he moved. He winced, then tried raising the other hand, but there was a line on the inside of his elbow, preventing him from bending it. Sakura reached down for him and squeezed his hand.

Li Yelan sat across at his bedside, watching the scene without comment or reaction. Eriol moved to her as Yukito and Cerberus circled around. Touya and Tomoyo lingered at the back.

"They'll be stepping him down soon," said the sorceress. "Probably tomorrow, maybe the day after. I have a flight to Hong Kong in four days."

"So soon," said Eriol. "He needs his mother."

"I wish I could stay," said Li Yelan. "I wish I could bring him home with me. But I've placed things on hold that I cannot afford to. All the things his father left behind, the more time passes the graver the consequences. It will be a nightmare, going back as it is. He's safer away from Hong Kong," she paused, "away from me."

Eriol believed her.

"He never asks for anything, so you have to be proactive about offering," Yelan looked at him. "He doesn't even ask for anything he needs. He just endures. He would never ask for the cards back, even if he wants them. Even if he needs them."

"I'll take care of him."

"And he's gotten frighteningly good at hiding when he's hurt," she went on, "when he's sad. When he's frightened. You practically have to read his mind to look out for him."

"I'll take care of him," Eriol repeated.

She looked at him. "He is a gift," she said. "Many people don't realize. They think he's an inconvenience, because he's always unexpected."

Eriol was very quiet. "I won't forget."

Yelan paused. "When the time comes, I want him back. Let him know that I want him back."

"His name is still Li Syaoran," Eriol promised. "For now, at least, that will not change."

Meanwhile, Sakura was talking about the calls she had been getting since Syaoran had disappeared, all the concerned phone conversations with classmates, and how everyone at school missed Syaoran. Syaoran looked at her like she was talking complete nonsense, and soon had trouble keeping his eyes open. Cerberus and Yukito also tried to talk to him, but he ignored them. He was actually ignoring Sakura too, in that he never spoke a word or otherwise reacted to anything she said, but he kept staring at her, and would not look at the other two.

After a while, Eriol decided that if Yelan had to leave so soon, she needed as much alone time with her son as they could afford her. They left the hospital with Sakura muttering about what gift to give him. Touya listened to his sister with his hands in his pockets, looking as if he were ignoring her, but actually aware of everything that was said and done.

"You know everyone thinks you're ten years old," Touya said to Eriol.

"Indeed."

"Ten-year-olds cannot be guardians of ten-year-olds."

"Kaho's name will be the one listed," said Eriol.

Touya was silent at this.

"I need to thank you as well," Eriol went on, "I know this ordeal has been very trying, watching your baby sister go off into danger."

"You don't say," the teen drawled.

"Just letting you know I appreciate it."

Touya said nothing.

They parted ways after, with Eriol going to Kaho's apartment and the Kinomotos going to the hotel.

* * *

Kero, Sakura, Touya, and Yukito visited Li Syaoran every day for the next few days. Yukito often stayed longer than the others, compelled, by Yue's profound guilt, to sit by the boy's side when he could have gone home. Sometimes Eriol would beckon to him to leave mother and son to themselves, but most of the time they allowed him to be there. He was not sure if they realize why he felt the need to keep watch over the boy. If they did, they did not comment.

The hospital stepped Syaoran down from the intensive-care unit and to the general wards. He was doing well, and was much more stable. He was also starting to produce urine—in large amounts, enough that the doctors were very attentive to his fluid balance, and drew blood every six hours. It seemed like they were always poking and prodding at the boy; if they were not sticking needles they were checking pressure, but the boy endured it all with a stoic kind of silence that perturbed everyone who saw him.

They consulted a psychiatrist, who recommended a relaxed home environment with regular outpatient therapy. The media tried to obtain interviews, which the hospital blocked. Finally, the day arrived when Li Yelan had to leave her son's side.

It was the first time Syaoran learned that he was not going with her.

"Listen to me," Yelan ordered, but the boy had started to whimper. "Xiaolang, listen—be good, now—"

Li Syaoran reached out with one hand and grabbed her by the sleeve.  _"_ Mama," he sobbed. It was the first word he had uttered since he woke.

"Xiaolang, I cannot take you back."

"Mama _, please,"_ he whimpered in Chinese, his breathing coming in quick gulps, and he choked, coughed, and burst into tears.

"Be good for  _Mama_ now," Yelan warned. "You know I don't do these things without reason. Be good for Eriol; don't give him a reason to speak ill of you."

"I'll be good. I promise. I'll do better—please don't leave me—don't leave me here Mama!  _Mama!_ " He inhaled, coughed, and let out a wail. He tugged with his other hand, and the IV pulled at the tape. It must have hurt, but the boy ignored it and grabbed on to his mother in a tight grip. "Don't make me stay here! I want to go home! I want to go home with you please  _Mama—_ Mama I didn't mean it! I know I messed up but I'll do better I promise  _please—_ "

"Let go, Xiaolang. I'm going to be late."

More tears spilled from his face, and when Yelan pulled he grew even more desperate. "Mama,  _Mama! Mama nooo—please_ Mama don't leave me with them  _Mama!"_

"Quiet!" Yelan yanked herself brutally from her son's hold. This time, Syaoran lunged for her, the IV in his hand coming clean out. Blood splattered over the white sheets. Seeing this, Yelan dove forward, pushing her sobbing child back onto the bed.

"Stay down! And behave yourself!" she pushed him back again when he reached for her once more. "Xiaolang! Stop this at once! Or else I'm  _never_ taking you back!"

The words were like a physical blow. Syaoran yanked his head back, as if struck. It worked; he instantly became silent as a mouse, save for the shuddering breaths. At the door, the nurse poked her head in.

"Is everything alright in here?" she asked.

"Everything is fine," Yelan replied evenly, straightening her sleeves. "He's pulled his IV out. Do you mind getting something for that?"

"Oh! Of course," the nurse poked her head further in for a closer look, before withdrawing.

Syaoran remained where he was, eyes wide.

As Yelan retreated, Hiiragizawa murmured, "Was that really necessary?"

"Don't question my methods, Hiiragizawa," she replied. "I'll be going now."

Hiiragizawa said nothing.

As she passed, Yelan looked at Yukito. She looked away instantly, saying nothing.

Yukito looked at Syaoran after she left. Tears were still spilling from his eyes, which were wide open as if stunned. He uttered not a word though, as if afraid that doing so would fulfill his mother's threat. Hiiragizawa went forward and took his uninjured hand.

"It's going to be alright," he promised. "You'll be very well taken care of, little one."

Syaoran looked at him, then looked around the room, lost. The tears continued to fall. At one point, he looked up at Yukito, and an expression of sheer terror washed over that face. It was clear that he thought his mother had truly abandoned him.

No matter what Eriol or Yukito said, that terror remained.

* * *

Syaoran started having nightmares that night. He woke up in a sobbing, tearful mess, and cried for his mother. He was disconsolate when she was nowhere to be found. Eriol comforted him the best he could, but the child ultimately would cry himself back to sleep.

During the day, he was pliant. He spoke not a word, and barely reacted to anything around him. There was a kind of stupor that settled over him; his movements were slow, and his eyes always appeared glazed over. He never initiated any movement on his own, and never fought back or made any resistance.

"He's not usually like this," Kaho told Eriol, rather unnecessarily. "Even when he did not speak, he was still saying something, somehow. He was so defiant. He was not this…empty."

He was  _not_ empty; Eriol almost wished he were. The nightmares continued, stronger than even the sleep spells Eriol placed: horrible glimpses of his captivity, pleas that went unheard, and worse, apologies. He would wake up crying for his mother, and then sob, inconsolable, until exhaustion took him again. Then when the sun rose, he was silent and stupid again. The cycle continued, all the way until his discharge.

To reassure him even minutely, Eriol kept his magic open. It did not seem to help. At night, Syaoran always seemed to believe he was alone, that there was no one coming for him, that he had no one looking for him. During the day, he would look through Eriol as if he were not there. At one point, Sakura brought the Clow Cards, wondering if seeing them would help. The Dash floated in front of his face. He merely looked away.

Days and days passed. Syaoran's recovery was slow. He kept spiking fevers, which would prompt more blood draws, and seemed to take forever to wean off the oxygen. He ate and drank poorly, but poured out bags upon bags of clear urine, and thus they could not remove him from the intravenous lines. His body seemed to wage war on itself, leaving the child pale and wan with fatigue. The rash across his face grew dark and peeled, and deep purple bruises encircled his wrists, arms, and ankles, in the pattern of the ropes he had been tied with.

When the fevers finally stopped, and the time came to take him home, Eriol felt almost as exhausted as Syaoran did.

"It's going to be much better," he promised the boy in the cab, unsure if Syaoran could even understand. "No nurses, no blood pressure cuffs, no blood draws. You'll like the place. It's Clow Reed's home, thousands of years ago. And you'll get to meet my guardians: Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun. They've been preparing the house"—mostly preparing Syaoran's room, though they were also fortifying the place—"and they're really looking forward to meeting you," since Ruby and Spinel never actually saw Syaoran since they rescued him.

Syaoran, decompensated after his bout of severe illness, had difficulty ambulating; in the hospital he would be walked up and down the halls for about five minutes, after which he would collapse on the bed, depleted. Fortunately, the cab had parked near the entrance, which was a short enough distance for Syaoran to walk.

He was limp and cooperative until they reached the mansion itself. When Eriol opened the gates, the boy suddenly planted his feet. His aura began to take a tinge of wild fright, and he stared at the mansion with a growing pallor to his face.

It did not make sense to Eriol, but he stopped, came back, and rested his hands on the child's shoulders.

"It's alright," he said slowly, "it's home. You're safe."

A shudder rocked the boy's frame, and then his body was wrecked with tremors. A hand reached up and gripped Eriol's.

"Xiaolang," Eriol said again.

The hand tightened, but Syaoran's feet remained firmly planted.

Eriol dearly wanted to go in already, but after seeing Li Yelan's methods, he could not bear to force the youngster into anything. Li Yelan had been compelled because she had stayed until the last minute, wanting to spend as much time as she could with her son. Eriol was under no such time constraint.

"Alright," he said softly. "Alright. We'll give you a moment. Take your time."

He had no idea what terrified Syaoran about the mansion, but he could feel how much courage it took for the boy to finally let go of him and take a wavering step forward, toward the object of his fear. Eriol felt a flash of hatred toward the Kikutake, as well as a rush of deep, profound fondness for the boy.  _A gift,_ Yelan had said. He pressed his hand against the boy's back and slowly guided him toward the doors.  _Syaoran is a gift._ For the first time, Eriol could say unequivocally that he absolutely agreed.

Within the mansion, Ruby Moon rushed down the stairs, fluttering her butterfly wings to accelerate her descent. Eriol was worried that she would frighten Syaoran, and made to keep her off, but she ignored him, flitting over to the boy.

" _Kami-sama!"_ she exclaimed. "He is so  _kawaii!_ Oh but so thin! Don't worry, Ruby will feed you."

She reached out, and Eriol was worried she might try to pinch the boy's cheeks; he might have made her just a  _tad_ bit aggressive like that. Fortunately, all Ruby did was cup Syaoran's face.

Syaoran's reaction surprised Eriol most of all. He raised his arms up to the moon guardian, a universal request from a child to be picked up. Ruby, delighted, obliged instantly. "Oh, you are light! We need to put some weight on these tiny bones."

"Don't drop him," Spinel drawled from the hallway adjacent to the lobby.

Syaoran jerked, clinging abruptly to Ruby in fright. Eriol turned to see Spinel was in his cat form, tail wagging slowly in displeasure.

"Look at what you did!" Ruby scolded. "You scared him."

"My apologies," said Spinel, "I'm not as loud and obnoxious as  _you_ , Ruby."

Ruby made a face at him. "Ignore him,  _Syaoran-chan_. He's as boring as an old coot. He's harmless though. We both serve  _Eriol-sama_ , which means we're both going to take care of you. Not like the  _other_ two."

Syaoran said nothing. He leaned his head onto Ruby's shoulder and closed his eyes. He was tired.

Ruby then pressed her head to the boy's and closed her eyes as well. A tender expression washed over her countenance.

 _Huh,_  Eriol thought.  _Interesting._

* * *

Syaoran adored Ruby Moon.

It must have been the moon magic, at least in part, Eriol would later reflect. From accounts, Syaoran had gravitated toward Yukito in the same manner, though Yukito did not seem to feel likewise. Ruby, on the other hand, reacted to Syaoran's intimacy with an affection that was rather disturbing. She even started referring to herself as his  _Onee-chan,_ and took great delight in his dependence on her. It worried Eriol, because unlike Cerberus and Yue, Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were not designed to love others. They could imitate it, and had an awareness of it, but Ruby Moon especially was a selfish creature.

He had a long talk with Ruby as a result, much to the guardian's consternation.

"Relax, Master Eriol. He's a little boy who just lost his mother. Is it really that strange that I am spoiling him a little?"

"Yes," Eriol said without any humor. "You think he is a simple child with simple needs, but you do not understand humans, my little butterfly. Human children have a limited knowledge of the world, but they have a  _very_ good memory. You think he is stupid and ignorant now: he'll remember everything you do, as well as all the things you did not do. He  _will_ know whether or not you are honest in your motives. If you are not fond of him, it is best if you do not pretend to be."

"I  _am_ fond of him," Ruby exclaimed, indignant.

"You would throw him off a roof for your own gain, or mine. That is not the kind of fondness he needs, or wants. Tread carefully, Ruby. Actions speak louder than words, and lies are all the worse with gestures than with speech."

"What would you have me do?" Ruby cried. "Ignore him? Who else will cuddle him at night, when he has nightmares?  _You?_ Besides, he gravitated to  _me._ He demands hugs and kisses from  _me_. Why should I refuse him?"

Eriol wondered why it was that everything he had once thought to be a good idea ended up…not.

"You like him this way, worshipping your every act of kindness," said he, "and I don't blame you. I made you this way, a creature that delights in herself. When I made you and Spinel Sun, I thought only of your well-being.I wanted you to rejoice in the beauty of your life and the world around you, and spare you those dark things that scar us and make us bitter and ugly. I gave you what you needed to be happy with your existence, so I did not give you the emotional range I gave Cerberus and Yue. I thought I was doing you a favour, because Clow's death had hurt them both, particularly Yue, who has yet to overcome that pain. It did not seem necessary to give you that capacity for grief when it is something that gives comparatively little joy. But I will tell you this: true love would not delight in that boy's vulnerability; it should pain you, as it pains me. You are  _not_ his  _onee-chan_. He has four real ones. You are  _not_ his  _oka-san_ ; his mother waits for him to come home when the time is right. You enjoy all the attention he gives to you, how much he loves you so that you might love him back. You  _do not_ love him. You do not know what love is. You are incapable of it. He does not understand this, but I do, and I'm warning you, Ruby Moon: if you hurt him, you will have to answer to me."

"I  _do_ know what love is," Ruby fired back angrily. "I love _you_. And I am  _not_ hurting that boy."

For the moment, at least, Eriol could not argue with that. The boy shadowed her everywhere, and Ruby continued to enjoy all the attention, but she also gave him the physical affection he desperately needed, but which others would have been too good to display. On weekends they baked English scones, and in the mornings and evenings she would wipe cream over the rash on his cheeks. She would massage the boy's little arms and legs; he had severe muscle aches, she said, though how she knew this, Eriol was at a loss. The sessions, with Syaoran face down on the couch and Ruby rubbing out the knots in his back, were the only times he seemed calm and relaxed, however, so Eriol did not stop her. At nights, Ruby curled up around the child to comfort him as he slept. If Eriol had not known her better than she knew herself, he would have considered that she did care for him. Even Kaho commented on it, remarking that this was rather unexpected of the guardian.

So long as Eriol was around to keep an eye on things, Ruby should not harm the boy. And, he mused, he might have overestimated Syaoran's attachment. On the occasions when Eriol sent Ruby out in the form of Nakuru, to do shopping or deliver mail, Syaoran did not appear to miss her. It was, perhaps, just easier to be around her compared to everyone else. He did not like Spinel; the two did not argue as much as he and Cerberus reportedly did, considering the boy never spoke, but neither did they seek each other's company. Similarly, Syaoran did not seem to enjoy being around Eriol, though he was obedient and cooperative in all of their interactions. Maybe Syaoran was so dependent on Ruby because her gestures carried no meaning. It was hard to say. He seemed to always be in a daze; maybe he really was, since he rarely slept well, these days. The sight of him, staring blankly through everything, made Eriol want to scream and shake some sense into him, or burst into tears himself. He had never met the child before this all happened, but he desperately wanted to, now, and the longer Syaoran remained in this state, the more Eriol felt like something had really died before they had rescued him.

Even stranger than the boy's attachment to Ruby was his fear of Tsukishiro. From accounts, Tsukishiro was always rather amiable, quite the opposite of his true form. Unlike Ruby Moon, however, Yue possessed a heart that was fully capable of the whole scope of human nature; one reason why Tsukishiro was as gentle as he was. Syaoran seemed to have liked Tsukishiro before, and seemed to have had a much more antagonistic relationship with Cerberus. Now, however, the boy practically hyperventilated when Tsukishiro was present, ducking behind Ruby as if she could protect him. He seemed much more placid with Cerberus, or at least as tolerant of him as he was of Spinel Sun.

Ruby was delighted by this, and lorded over Yukito at every opportunity. Tsukishiro, on the other hand, was very subdued, and tellingly unsurprised. Eriol felt compelled to take him aside to ask if he knew the reason for this behavior. Yukito reluctantly told him, and what Eriol learned made him agonize all the harder about whether he should transfer the Clow Cards back to Syaoran at all.

For now, though, Syaoran had Ruby, and even Kaho, who, unlike the moon guardian,  _was_ capable of love, and was growing to care for him. The Clow Cards could wait.

* * *

Sakura visited Li every day. The first day Hiiragizawa took him home, Sakura had an unproductive day at school; she had missed two exams and numerous homework assignments, all of which Terada wanted her to make up, but did not push her to deliver on the spot. Most of the class was distracted anyway; they asked her numerous questions about Li and how he was doing. Sakura was not sure what to say. They wanted to visit him, but she and Tomoyo both managed to change their minds. When they had left, Li was not walking particularly well, and she was fairly certain that in his new state, he would not appreciate unexpected visitors.

The next day, however, people gave her presents to deliver to Li; everything from chocolates to stuffed animals that said "Get Well Soon". Yamazaki thoughtfully bought a green journal, though Sakura was not sure if Li actually had any thoughts to write down, these days. When she and Tomoyo brought the presents over to the mansion, Li ended up staring blankly at everything. He did not even touch the chocolate. Hiiragizawa ended up instructing Ruby Moon to pack all of them away, particularly the sweets, since Spinel might get to them.

It was very unnerving. He seemed like a shell. Sakura never realized how much comfort she drew from his presence before. Despite his harsh attitude and aloof demeanor, there was always something warm about him. She rarely confided in him, but he had always been a surprisingly good ear when she did, and a solid support, strong and encouraging. He would point out things she had never considered before, and she always felt like she could rely on him; she just did not always choose to. Now, he seemed empty, his presence cold. He _felt_ small—Sakura would never have described Li this way before. The rash on his cheeks were like a brand, like he had been struck, and the bruises on his arms revealed the outline of the ropes used to bind him. His eyes, normally focused and full of intelligence, were always blank, as if staring a thousand meters away. He never spoke, never made a noise except when he coughed that horrible wet cough that never seemed to go away. It was like interacting with a robot, and she suddenly realized she had a thousand things she wanted to say to him, but he could not hear her. Sometimes, he would just get up while she was in the middle of a sentence—usually this was because Ruby had entered the room, and he would go to her and forget about Sakura. He had always given Sakura his undivided attention before. The difference… _hurt,_ not only because she dearly missed Li while he was right there, but she felt that Li had done so much for her over the past year, even in the few weeks preceding the whole disaster with the Chrysanthemums, and yet she could do nothing to help him when he needed help the most.

But the one who took it the hardest was Yukito. Li wanted nothing to do with him. It was hard to encourage him to come with them to visit Li when the boy actively avoided him. Something had happened, her brother told her. Touya and Yukito had talked, before, and Yukito told him whatever it was, but when Sakura pressed either of them, neither would reveal it. Yukito would only look away, shoulders sagging with guilt, his usual smile absent from his face. It was so strange to see him look guilty; Yukito was always too kind and compassionate to do anything worth regretting.

And Ruby was  _annoying_. Sakura rarely had the occasion to strongly dislike someone, but the moon guardian tried even her tolerance. There was no question Ruby was kind to Li, and that Li favored her for some reason, always opting to stay close to her or sit next to her when given the option—but there was something about the guardian that seemed almost malicious.

"It's because she enjoys it," Touya explained, when Sakura finally had to give voice to her frustration. "She likes the kid this way, which is seriously  _wrong_ of her."

"What do you mean?"

"She's  _sick_." If Sakura disliked Ruby, Touya loathed her, in part because she always seemed to take an extra step to hurt Yukito. "Anyone who sees that boy should feel awful for him, but she's having  _fun_. She's  _happy_ he's so broken that he can't talk and needs to be with her to feel safe. If that kid were my brother, I would beat her up. I don't care if she's a girl. She's not a real girl." He had some more uncouth words for her, and later he even complained to Fujitaka, leaving out the fact that Ruby Moon was not human.

"What is it about that boy?" Fujitaka sighed. "It seems he's always surrounded by people who don't have his best interests. His own mother is an odd Chinese woman from a family resembling the United Nations."

Touya thought this analogy was hilarious.

"I do hope  _Mizuki-san_ takes good care of him," said Fujitaka, since the man believed Mizuki was the one with guardianship over Li. "The poor boy looks destined to have a hard life."

"His own mother flies away while he's still sick at the hospital after he nearly dies from his captivity, where his captors  _tortured_ him, and now he has this manic girl taking pleasure at how he clings to anyone who shows him even a bit of kindness—I mean it's not _natural_ , how pleased she is. Any normal person with a functioning conscience would feel honored and humbled by the trust this child placed in them—not her. She's so carefree and _jolly._ And his guardian looks on," Touya paused, referring to Hiiragizawa. "This kid is going to grow up with huge issues."

"Some people…" Fujitaka sighed, and gripped his son by the back of the neck, shaking his head. "We can't do anything for him, though. That's his lot in life. People like him, you let him in and you invite trouble. They clearly came to this world to pay some kind of price."

"What kind of price?" Sakura cried, aghast. "Why would  _he_ have to pay? He's just a boy!"

Fujitaka pressed a kiss to her head. "Some people come into the world, and they just have it harder than others. They're born into poor, broken families, if they have families at all. There's nothing anyone can do for them, because that is the life they have to live, and no one else can live it for them."

The implication was  _horrible_ , and Sakura had nightmares that night, of Li, clad in his green robes, facing away from her to look into a landscape of fire and shadowed beasts. She woke in tears. The following day, she went to Hiiragizawa's mansion, where Li remained out of sight, "napping", Ruby had declared. When the moon guardian left earshot, Sakura rounded on Hiiragizawa.

"I want  _Li-kun_ to be happy," she warned him.

"Oh?" he raised his eyebrows.

"I want him to have a good life," Sakura declared, "I don't want him to be sad. I don't want his friends to be the kind of people who like it when he's sad."

"Then be his friend," he said simply.

Thrown by this simple response, Sakura backed down. It took a while for her to realize that Hiiragizawa was giving her permission for  _something_ —she just did not know what, considering she had not been asking for any kind of permission in the first place.

"I don't know what he means," Sakura said to Tomoyo. "Why are adults always so  _cryptic_?"

A few more days passed. June came stuffy and hot. The air was humid and disgusting. After school, the students went to vendors to get ice cream, and Sakura saw Yukito and Touya, leaning against the park fence; Touya was shifting his bookbag, while Yukito remained hunched over, arms folded and head bowed.

 _At least he has Oni-chan_ , Sakura thought. Even though Touya had hurt him, they still stuck by each other in the end.

 _Friends forgive each other._ Like family.

She went home that day deep in thought.


	12. When Homeless Wanders

The guardians noticed two things as the academic trimester drew to a close: the first was that Yue was unable to maintain his true form for too long, and Yukito, normally possessed of a vivacious appetite, seemed to require twice as much caloric intake, and was still feeling more fatigued. He did not have this problem with the boy, for reasons Hiiragizawa had outlined. The second was that the cards were increasingly unhappy; this was not something either of the guardians had anticipated. The cards had limited ability to form desires or choices; they were more than inanimate objects and yet less than sentient beings. When Hiiragizawa transferred ownership to Sakura, they should have gone along with it, but perhaps she never underwent the Final Judgment, and they did not recognize her as their official master. Whatever the reason, though, both guardians could sense a strong pull toward the boy, blocked only by the mutual will of the two guardians and Sakura herself, along with the lock on the book. Mental fortitude alone would not be enough if this continued, and the lock would be undone each time Sakura had to access the cards. They would have to make a decision soon.

The trouble was, Li Syaoran was not well. In addition to being emotionally and psychologically traumatized, he was still physically weak, and the pneumonia had left behind a chronic cough that the child's anxiety and depression did nothing to alleviate. The boy was also afraid of Yue, something that hurt more than the moon guardian could ever have predicted. He had expected blame, expected anger and mistrust, but he never thought the child truly believed Yue would hurt him, never imagined that he might group Yue with the same monsters that had tormented him for days and left him sick and dehydrated, in his own filth, to die when the time came. And yet, Yue knew the reason why: could pinpoint it to the moment, in fact. Syaoran always seemed older than he really was, and his attitude made him seem bigger than he really was, but the boy was actually quite small. Yue felt it when he had gathered that limp, unresponsive body into his arms, how light his burden had been, and how thin. With the Chrysanthemums, Syaoran had been easily overpowered; he had been helpless against their onslaught, unable to fight back or defend himself in any way. And when Yue had pulled Syaoran back from the front door of the apartment that fateful day, he had demonstrated the same difference in strength, the same ability to easily overcome the child's wishes and assert his own. He use to see only defiance in Syaoran's resulting silence, but looking back, the boy had been afraid then as well. He had simply retained his confidence, then. Now, that confidence was shattered, and the boy felt weak and alone, surrounded by strangers he had no choice but to depend on. He had nothing left to put up any kind of brave front.

Between the two of them, Yukito was more hurt; his false form was not the one who had frightened Syaoran, and yet the boy treated Yukito the same way. It was not Syaoran's fault; they had never explained exactly what Yukito was to Yue, plus his reaction was instinctive, coming from that animalistic part of the human mind that did not work with logic or wisdom. But Yukito had tried harder than Yue to earn the boy's trust; had better rapport with the child, frankly, even before the Final Judgment, only to have that one day undo it all. He confided in Touya, who listened with a grim expression, before admitting that he probably would have done the same to the  _gaki,_ considering Touya was never fond of him before.

"He was never a particularly likeable child," said the teen.

"With a mother like that," Yukito sighed, "I'm surprised he's as well-adjusted as he is. She just…abandoned her son. Who had just been kidnapped and tortured and was…moments away from joining his ancestors."

"That woman was something," Touya agreed. "Still, doesn't change the fact that he's a  _gaki_ , and people don't look at him without thinking he ought to be smacked. And he  _was_ being ungrateful, considering it's not like the two of you were keeping him in the flat because you enjoyed his company."

"He wanted to leave the apartment because he could feel we resented him," said Yukito, "and it's really not fair, because we didn't know his mother was like that. Or that his family was like that, until you guys came over. I mean…" he hesitated, "his mother sounded odd on the phone, very cold, but I didn't think she would be as bad as  _that_." It was worse than Yue had ever been able to picture.

"Sad as his story is," said Touya, "I don't think that really matters. You have kids with psychotic parents and they grow up to be serial killers—still have to lock them up and throw away the key. It doesn't change what you are, no matter what reason you are the way you are."

Yukito shook his head. "It's not that simple. He was Card Master. He earned them, fair and square. Other me spent days trying to bring  _Kero-chan_ around to this. We were duty-bound to serve him, and we should have gotten to know him better if only so we could work better with him. Instead,  _Kero-chan_ and I…the other me, it just took us so long to come to terms. And then we scare him. He's frightened of his own guardians."

"You can't change that now," said Touya. "Does the kid know that you were the one that got him out of there?"

"I don't know. He doesn't talk. Who knows what's getting in there."

"Perhaps he's not meant to have the cards." Touya sniffed. "Though I'm not sure about my sister holding on to them."

"He'll have to accept them back." Yukito shook his head. "I don't know how the other me would be able to deal with this otherwise."

It was not until Yukito said so that Yue realized the same. If Syaoran had given up the cards out of his own free will and desire, the situation would have been rather simple. But if Syaoran refused to accept the cards back now, after everything that happened, it would be because of their failure. Worse, if Syaoran for some reason was never able to  _handle_ the cards, that would also be because of this. Yue was not sure he could bear it either.

"If it bothers you this much," Touya remarked, "the kid has to face his fears at some point. He can't cower forever, particularly if we want him to accept the cards back. You should talk to him, show him you're no threat." He twisted his face. "Say you're sorry that he was such a little brat that he made you lose your temper."

Yukito grunted. "Very contrite, To-ya."

"I'm just saying," Touya folded his arms. "Him wetting his pants at the mere sight of you makes it kind of difficult to approach him—"

"Don't even joke about that."

"Right," Touya stated, looking genuinely apologetic at this. "My point is, he's not a baby, and you can't cuddle him forever. Eventually the two of you need to talk. He needs to hear from you, or else he  _would_ always think of you as someone who can and will hurt him. And considering this caused issues last time, it's probably something you need to address if you want him to be card master again."

* * *

This was easier said than done; Ruby Moon was very protective of the boy, and actively sabotaged any attempts Yukito made to reach out to the boy. "Haven't you done enough?" she demanded. "You abandoned him to the vipers,  _baka._ He's hurt because of you. Do us all a favor and stay away from him! What are you trying to accomplish?"

Neither Yukito nor Yue knew what to say to that.

Then, a calculating look appeared in her eye. "It's about  _you_ ," she realized. "You're fading." A knowing smirk spread her lips. "You're crawling back to him.  _Kami-sama!_ Did you really—oh this is  _rich!_ "

"There are things that happened," Yukito said quietly, "that you don't know,  _Ruby-san._ I would thank you to allow me to address them."

"You think you have the right to do  _anything_ , here?" Ruby laughed. "Go home to your master, pretty boy. This one's mine, and I  _don't_ give you permission to approach him. Certain things are not forgivable. It's time you pay for your failures,  _Yue._ "

It was Kerberus who pointed out something that might explain Ruby's odd behavior.

"She's not the nicest personality," the sun guardian analyzed, "and she's selfish, shallow, and proud. She dotes on the kid—for what reason? It's not like he's such a nice kid; she did not even know him before. And she's not the kind of being that would feel pity for the child. And she picked up on your problem _really_ quickly; even Hiiragizawa had not noticed it yet."

"What are you saying?"

"I think she wants that boy's power for herself. You know how they say it takes one to know one."

Though Yue had not wanted to consider this, the more he tried to reject the idea, the more it actually made sense. Yet how could Clow Reed condone such a thing? Hiiragizawa had taken full responsibility for the boy. Would he really allow something like this to happen under his own roof?

"Well, would he choose the kid over his own guardians?"

Yue found that he was not sure.

"Li Syaoran is just a descendant. Thousands of years later. Shows up out of the blue, creates trouble for everyone, messes up everyone's plans."

Yue felt a stab of cold. This was what the boy had to deal with in Hong Kong. Everyone, blaming him for the death of his father when he was a child. They would have said he was impious, for Chinese children were taught to honor and care for their elders. If he had been abandoned by his mother, only to be trapped in a household with a guardian thinking to use him, and a sorcerer who would let her, that was too horrifying to let be.

_No. I will not let this stand._

He needed to look into this. For the boy's sake, and his own conscience.

* * *

Li's first words were to Sakura.

"The others miss you," she had been saying. "They want to know when they can visit. I told them I'd let them know as soon as you give me the OK."

"OK," he said.

It was not what Sakura had expected.

"Great!" she exclaimed, after a long, awkward pause. She studied his features, but they were unreadable. Not even a frown. "How about this weekend?"

"OK."

She was not certain if Li even knew what he was agreeing to. "Are you sure?"

" _Hai._ "

Still uncertain, she went to Hiiragizawa for advice.

"Really?" the sorcerer looked just as shocked as Sakura, but when he went to confirm with the boy, Li had reverted back to silence.

"It was me," Hiiragizawa muttered an oath later. "I scared him. But bring your friends over. I'm pretty sure he meant it. He probably thought I was trying to trick him or something."

"What could you be tricking him into?" Sakura asked, dumbfounded.

"Who the bleeding knows, but with a family like his, I wouldn't put it past them. Not to mention he is living under a stranger's roof and he knows I have to agree to host your friends."

"Oh," Sakura blinked. She had not even thought of that.

Hiiragizawa cocked an eyebrow. "Obviously, given you're ten years old and not two, you won't break anything or venture where you shouldn't go. That's all I require, at any rate. Though it does bring to mind—when do you plan on having them over?"

"I was thinking this weekend, maybe Saturday."

"I have to take care of Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun." Hiiragizawa frowned. "Mainly Ruby Moon. Spinel Sun would likely hide away to read."

"Those butterfly wings?" Sakura guessed.

"I could get rid of them, but he wouldn't appreciate it."

"You can always turn him into a squirrel."

Hiiragizawa laughed, and could not stop laughing. "I'm leaving that for when he misbehaves."

Saturday came quickly, and Sakura amassed a whole gang: the usual suspects, including Tomoyo, Chiharu, Rika, and Naoko; and then the boys: Yamazaki, a few boys named Ikeuchi, Sone, Onoda. Sakura did not know them very well, but they all seemed to know Li.

Hiiragizawa's mansion was the subject of much commentary; it  _was_ a handsome house, with its blue-gray rooftops and white walls. The place was easily as big as the Daidouji mansion, but looked rather new. The design looked almost modern, considering this house should have been the same one Clow Reed had lived in thousands of years ago. Some sort of spell had been in place to help it blend in, she suspected. After seeing Li's apartment wards, she would not put it past magicians of old to be able to do something like this. The interior, as she knew, looked quite different from the outside, and was rather Japanese, with paper screens and paintings on the walls and bonsai plants. 

A young woman with brown hair and brown eyes answered the door. At first Sakura blanched at her, not knowing who she was, but she did not have to wonder for long.

" _Ohayo!!"_ she exclaimed. " _Watashi wa Akizuki Nakuru desu!_ You must be  _Syaoran-chan's_ friends!"

"Oh," said Sakura; she had almost blurted out "Oh  _no_ " but managed to catch herself in time. "Ah,  _Akizuki-san!_ _Ohayo gozaimasu!_ We are,  _hai,_ these are,  _ano—_ "

"Come in! Come in!" Ruby's false form was exactly like her usual self; not like Yukito and Yue, then. "Anyone hungry?"

"Ah, we just…" but Ruby, or whatever she was calling herself, had already withdrawn. Sakura led the way in, feeling defeated.  _Great._ As if Ruby were not annoying enough in her true form.

Li was coming down the stairs in slow, measured steps. Sakura heard Chiharu's intake of breath; he did look different from when they saw him last. Pale and thin, the shirt he wore seemed too large on him, and there was a frailness to his movements that had never been there before. Nevertheless, there was more focus in his gaze than there had been since his rescue.

" _Syaoran-chan_ , your friends are here," Ruby said unnecessarily.

" _Ohayo_ ," he said as he reached the foot of the stairs.

Yamazaki moved forward.

" _Li-san._ Good to see you."

"Likewise," Li replied, before turning around; he still had that cough, which he expelled into the crook of his elbow. " _Gomen nasai._ _Ikeuchi-san. Onoda-san. Sone-san._ " He looked at the girls. "I…heard I missed out on a lot."

He seemed almost normal, if it were not for the lack of spirit. He seemed defeated, and his shoulders hunched over.

"That's fine," Yamazaki said. "We brought some snacks over. You want to try some?"

"Sure, come sit down—"

" _Hai!_ I want to see what these snacks are about!" Ruby grabbed Li by the arm and tugged. She was too overzealous and Li stumbled a little, though he righted himself quickly.

Yamazaki turned to look at the others. Sakura saw that his eyes were open, though she did not dwell on that; Ruby was going to  _join_ them?

Ruby Moon ended up sampling all of the aforementioned snacks, while Li touched none of them. With her chattering, he had withdrawn to his usual silence. The unfocused stare was back, and it was not long before Ruby exhausted everyone's patience. After about an hour, they declared they had to get going.

"We should hang out sometime," Ikeuchi said to him before they departed. "When you're better."

"Hm," Li replied noncommittally.

"What was that?" Chiharu asked Sakura in concern when the group left.

"Is that really his sister?" Rika asked.

" _Iie._ " Though Sakura was not certain if his real sisters were better or worse. "They're…distant relatives."  _Very distant._ "They came from England."

"She's very rude," said Naoko, "and  _Li-kun_ does not seem happy when she's around."

"He seems very off," Yamazaki agreed. His eyes had not closed. "What exactly happened to him?"

Sakura was not sure, nor did she want to know. Her friends had not seen him the way she had, tossed on the dirty floor of a basement amidst other items that had been discarded. They had not seen him fight for his life at the hospital, nor did they see his silent despair afterwards. They had no idea that his behavior today had been only slightly short of miraculous.

"I think I liked it better when he was living alone," said Ikeuchi. "His relatives seem…"

Sakura wondered if she did the right thing.

* * *

Hiiragizawa had removed himself from the mansion when the children came, heading over to Mizuki's "to discuss personal matters," he had said. He did not return until late in the afternoon. Syaoran was sitting on the steps, as Ruby Moon, now Nakuru, was doing laundry. The master of the house did a double-take when he saw Syaoran there.

"Xiaolang," he intoned, removing his shoes at the door with a quick maneuver of his ankles, "are you alright? Why are you sitting on the steps?"

"When can I go home?" Syaoran asked.

Hiiragizawa did not react for a moment. He then sighed and moved slowly over to join Syaoran on the same steps, sitting close. Syaoran kept his head facing forward, and did not look at his host.

"Your mother wants you back," he said in English. "She told me to make this clear to you. But it's not a good time to go back yet."

"Why not?" Syaoran asked in Japanese.

"You're hurt. She wants you to recover in a safe place."

"You're safe?" Syaoran demanded bluntly.

Hiiragizawa paused. "Have I not proven that over the last few weeks?" he asked gently.

Syaoran hunched over. "I never know…what people  _want_ from me."

A long moment passed in silence as Hiiragizawa processed his words.

"When Clow Reed died," Hiiragizawa said quietly, "he had already lived for a long time. Long enough that the daily grind of life was…tiresome. There were things that were to happen in the world, great things. He saw beautiful endings, joy, love, but he also saw pain, death, destruction. He didn't see the true extent of all the things to come, but he knew they will happen, knew they would hurt whole cultures in Europe as well as the land of his mother's birth…the way you were also hurt. He loved Japan, loved these divine islands, with their Saturn peaches and cherry blossoms, the mystical quality of all that these people produced, but he also knew that these same people will cause great pain to the land of his mother, whom he considered the most beautiful, the most wise, the most fair. He did not want to live to see all of these things happen. He wanted to skip over this time.

"When I was born, he got his wish; I had skipped over the worst of it, but the view is not the same. In his time, these prophecies were but ideas, abstract and formless. They had no color or sound, no smell or taste. Back then people were brutal in their own way, but they were also more naïve. They looked upon the world with wonder. Like a newborn babe's soft skin. By the time I came, there were already heavy scars, marring everyone, from England to Hong Kong to even the New World. Though I remember everything he knew, can tell you the exact way the roads were paved in Thebes, that was no longer my world. We had switched; Clow's time was the idea, and this is the present: fresh from two world wars and in the midst of a cold one. I realized many of his dreams could not be fulfilled, mainly because they were not my dreams. I did not want to be burdened by the past; as foresighted as Clow had been, he did not truly understand the weight of all the decisions that would come after his passing. The only thing was the Clow Book, and the Clow Cards. I had to ensure the proper passage of them to the new Card Master. I fully intended to let go of his legacy once this prophecy was realized."

"You are Clow Reed, then." It was the first time anyone confirmed to Syaoran that this was the case; up till now he had only guessed.

Hiiragizawa paused at this. "I suppose no one had the opportunity to explain that to you. I'm sorry."

"I figured," Syaoran shrugged.

"Nevertheless," Hiiragizawa sounded thoughtful, "I didn't introduce myself properly, and no one else did either. Yes, it's true. I was Clow Reed, once upon a time. In this life, however, I am Eriol Hiiragizawa."

"So you don't want to deal with Clow Reed's business," Syaoran leaned forward on his knees, looking down. "Guess I ruined your plans."  _Again._ He always seemed to be doing that.

"Those weren't good plans anyway," Hiiragizawa nudged him, but Syaoran did not smile or laugh. "Really," the sorcerer insisted, "I wasn't expecting you to show up, but there you were. I  _was_ surprised, but the more I learned about you, the more I became thrilled that you are here. It's clear you're a miracle, and you're here for a reason that far surpasses any mortal calculation."

"I wouldn't be too hasty saying that," Syaoran mumbled. "Haven't really caused any good things to happen. Just bad ones."

"That wasn't you, Xiaolang."

"It's pretty clear it was," Syaoran looked away, and against his will, tears welled up in his eyes. He tried to hold them back, but they sat there, burning, and he could not blink for fear that they might fall.

"Life works in mysterious ways," said Hiiragizawa. "I wouldn't be too hasty either. I possess all of Clow's memories, along with his abilities. He was very good at reading people. And I perceive a boy everyone gave up on, condemned, believed adamantly in his potential for harm—yet he comes to help another card captor capture more cards than himself, all for the sake of the greater good. He also treats his guardians with kindness, and protected both the cards and the guardians from evil—yes, I know that is what you did," for Syaoran had finally looked at him, surprised that he knew. Lifting a pale hand, Hiiragizawa reached out and wiped the tears that finally trickled down. "I swore, in front of your mother and all the forces that be, that if anyone hurts you, they will have to face me. I fought very hard to get you out. As far as I'm concerned, you're my business now. Not Clow's, unless, of course…" He did not elaborate what it was. "You are young. I can try, but I don't think you would understand until you are older. You do have a good intuition, I'm sure. So I know you'd believe me when I say that I care only for your happiness, and that your safety is my priority. I  _will_ take care of you for as long as you need, so you don't have to worry, Xiaolang."

It did not make Syaoran feel better. At home, he had to always be on his best behavior, but at least he knew what others expected of him. He had no idea about Hiiragizawa. Clow Reed was said to be a kind man, but it was not like Syaoran knew Clow Reed.

"I really want to go home."

"I know," Hiiragizawa said softly. "But believe it or not, you do have family here. And we care  _very much_ about you."

Something about that sounded familiar. Someone had said this to him before…

Hiiragizawa reached over and wrapped an arm around Syaoran. "When you were gone, we were all…" he stopped to swallow. "I slept maybe only a few hours the entire time. I think everyone only slept a few hours because we couldn't go for so many days, the way we were, between the spells and the planning, but otherwise we stayed up and planned and searched. Even the Kinomotos stayed up all night, and most of our attempts were at night, too. Kinomoto Touya stayed by the phone…kept wanting to come with, but I couldn't let him, most of the time. Yue, Sakura, and Cerberus"—he pronounced this with an 'S' sound—" were the ones who found you. Yue was the one who carried you out. He visited you every day and stayed with you for hours. I'd have to drag him out so that we could allow your mother to be with you."

Syaoran did not really want to hear this, but his ear remained hooked, despite his best efforts.

"What Yue did to you," Hiiragizawa went on, "was wrong. There is no question of it, and you may choose not to forgive him; I would support you. But he never meant you any harm. Neither he nor Cerberus meant for you to fall into their hands. They both fought hard to get you out. At the very least, I promise you, you don't need to fear Yue. If you wish, he will never touch you again, but either way he would never hurt you like he did."

" _Arigatou, Hiiragizawa-san_." Syaoran leaned away a little. He was done with the conversation. Hiiragizawa withdrew his arm slowly.

"Eriol," he insisted. "Hiiragizawa is a mouthful. I'd like for you to call me Eriol."

" _Eriol-san_ ," Syaoran said obediently, though he did not look at the sorcerer. He stood and turned to go upstairs.

Eriol did not stop him.

* * *

The next time Kinomoto visited, she came alone. Since speaking with Eriol, Syaoran had come to a decision that if he was to live under a stranger's care for an indeterminate amount of time, he might as well make himself useful. This led to some embarrassing episodes, consisting of Eriol being surprised and mentioning that Syaoran did not have to feel compelled to work, and then Syaoran inexplicably bursting into tears. He did not even know why himself; something about the way Eriol said it made Syaoran feel more ostracized than ever, but all Eriol meant was that Syaoran was still weak and recovering from his bout of severe illness. Syaoran rather proved his point, he said later, and had treated it all in good humor, but Syaoran had been  _humiliated_. He broke down twice more after; once when Ruby Moon made an idle comment about watermelon in the summer—why  _that_ had been tears-worthy was beyond him, and then once when Spinel asked if he wanted to read any books in his collection. This was not even counting the times when Syaoran woke up from his nightmares, the tomb with its vivid paintings still fresh in his mind, and Ruby would coo him back to sleep and assure him he was not alone. Syaoran could not even bother with those; the subconscious seemed too daunting when he could not even control himself while awake.

He was starting to come to terms. He still yearned to go home, and his mother's brusque refusal still hurt deep where he had always strived for her approval, but Eriol was kind and Ruby was attentive and he had a roof over his head; it was not like he had been tossed out into the streets. Unlike some people, Syaoran knew when he should be grateful, and he tried very hard to be. But he felt brittle, as if his captors had ripped out his very will along with his magic, and he could not help but feel unbearably vulnerable and alone. The past ten years, every off-handed comment, gestures meant to show him his place, the way his mother withheld affection from him, all seemed to rise to the fore when they had previously been safely suppressed. He knew logically that there was a time when he had felt  _normal_ , somehow, but that feeling seemed far beyond his reach.

It was easier with Kinomoto, he realized. Sakura was such a happy presence, and yet sensitive. She had seen him at his most pathetic and knew something of what he endured, but not enough to really change her attitude toward him. This time, dressed in a cute pink skirt and white t-shirt, she had brought snacks "for  _Li-kun alone_ ," she had warned Ruby Moon, much to the guardian's displeasure, and optimistically voiced her hopes for continued magic lessons. Given that Clow Reed himself was in the house, Syaoran doubted he was the best teacher anymore, but Kinomoto insisted that Syaoran be the one. "You know me better," she pointed out.

"How are Kero and Yue?" Syaoran asked when they went to the balcony to enjoy popsicles that Kaho had bought. Fed up with the children, Ruby had taken herself somewhere, so they were alone. He rubbed at his right eye; it was watering just a tiny bit and yet felt dry.

Kinomoto gave him a considering look. "They're fine. They'd like to see you too, if you're OK with it."

"OK," said Syaoran.

"Really?" Kinomoto looked dubious.

Syaoran frowned. "They've come by before, haven't they?" He did not really remember, but he did know Yukito had come by, and could swear he had once sat with Kero in front; the sun guardian had been saying something, but Syaoran had not been listening.

"They have," Kinomoto said slowly, "but you weren't happy to see them."

Truthfully, Syaoran still was not. He would rather he never saw the guardians again. But according to Eriol, they did save him. It seemed rude to ignore them after that.

"I wasn't happy to see anyone," was all he said.

"Except Ruby Moon." Kinomoto was still staring at him. "Is she good to you?"

Syaoran returned the stare. "Why do you ask that?"

"No reason. Just strange. Lots of people were nice to you. You didn't…like them that quickly before."

Syaoran flushed, then sucked on the popsicle to cool the itch in his throat; he was so tired of coughing.

"I'll bring  _Yukito-chan_ and  _Kero-chan_ over next time."

Syaoran nodded in lieu of verbally answering.

"Does  _Hiiragizawa-san_ take good care of you,  _Li-_ _kun?_ "

"Syaoran."

"… _Hoe?_ "

Syaoran suddenly wondered if he had presumed too much. "It…" he looked down, feeling his face flush even more. "I mean, you saved my life. You can call me Syaoran. If…if you want."

A wide grin spread across her face. She tried to repress it a little, but could not summon enough effort. "Only if you call me Sakura."

Syaoran did not expect her response to relieve him so much. "Sure,  _Sakura-san_."

" _Syaoran-kun,_ " Sakura leaned back, and then began a sing-songing littany, " _Syaoran-kun, Syaoran-kun, Syaoran-kun. Syaoran-kun."_ She seemed genuinely delighted, and despite himself, Syaoran found himself smiling in return.

It felt odd on his face, like a stranger. Syaoran did not realize that it had been so long since he had been happy enough to smile.

* * *

Li Yelan called. Eriol had honestly expected her to much sooner, but understood that she likely had too many affairs to clean up as soon as she returned to Hong Kong. It was just as well that she waited, because otherwise Eriol would have had nothing good to report.

"I can get him on the phone," said Eriol, "but before I do, I wanted to ask you something. He's been worrying his right eye recently; from accounts, the Clow Cards hurt his right eye as well. Is there anything you can think of that might explain why?"

Li Yelan paused for a long time. _"I'll have to think about it,"_ she admitted. _"I can't wager a guess at this time. I'll let you know if I remember something."_

"One other thing:" Eriol added, "does 'lightning' have any particular meaning to you?"

The pause was even longer this time. _"I'll have to think about it,"_ she said again, but this time her intonation sounded different, as if her meaning was not so straightforward. _"Why do you ask?"_

Eriol narrowed his eyes, though Li Yelan could not see this over the phone. "He had nightmares…not sure if they were relevant."

_"Nightmares of?"_

It was Eriol's turn to hesitate. "His tomb."

_"My son is not particularly gifted in premonition."_

"I see. Well, let me know if you remember something."

 _Mary Mother of God,_ this woman was difficult to deal with sometimes, though he respected that she wanted some time to determine her best course of action. Eriol's questions may be related to whatever Syaoran was, after all, and whatever Syaoran was could very well negatively impact his welfare  _now._ Still, he wished things could be more straightforward with the Li family. At least Syaoran was refreshingly blunt; once the boy started talking, it was almost amusing how direct he could be, though there were times when Syaoran was pointedly silent, which made Eriol's heart hurt.

He really liked the boy, as he expected. He could understand why the child's personality might chafe with some people, but that could be refined as he grew. As a basic foundation, Eriol could not be more delighted; Syaoran had a kind of Spartan wit that was all the more clever for how concise it was, but he was also inherently kind. He had started helping around the house, to Ruby's chagrin, and his quiet demeanor made him a comfortable presence in the home. He was not strong enough to go out that much yet, and something about leaving the mansion seemed to intimidate him; ironic, given his initial reaction on his arrival. Yet he was steadily improving, and with each passing day that fear in his eyes seemed to fade just a little more. 

With his charge on the mend, Eriol started directing his focus on a darker matter. They had neutralized the  _ounusa_ when they fought the Chrysanthemums, but this, obviously, was only a temporary solution; the whole reason they even knew this trick was because it had been used before. Getting Syaoran out was their first priority, and both Eriol and Li Yelan departed soon after his rescue. By now, however, the  _ounusa_ would have regained its vile magic, and the Chrysanthemums were still at large. They would need to be stopped. Not to mention, Eriol had sworn a vow to teach those who hurt Syaoran what it was to anger Clow Reed; Clow Reed was very much lethal when angered. Such was the style of the times. Eriol might not be obligated to uphold Clow's particular methods, but he was not above killing when he had to. A rabid dog must be put down, a tiger that tasted human flesh must be shot. Sorcerers bastardizing purification rituals needed to be stopped somehow, and with this bunch, either they were to be buried in a grave, or they were to be buried in a prison like Madoushi's. Between the two, Eriol would prefer the former; Madoushi haunts him for a reason, and even to this day, Eriol could not think of her without feeling immense heartbreak. With the Kikutake, however, Eriol was almost convinced that death was too good for them; every time Syaoran burst into tears at an unexpected trigger made Eriol's blood boil, though he was careful not to show this to the child. In any case, he would have to plan; with Syaoran safe under his care, Eriol could afford to strategize. It should be easier, since Syaoran was with him, so he could afford collateral damage as well. He could bury the clan in the earth or blast the place to pieces.

No. He probably could not. What if they found themselves another victim?

Later, during dinner, Syaoran barely moved his chopsticks. Eriol studied him, wondering what his mother had said to him. He seemed very homesick, but also a little encouraged. Maybe she had confirmed that she planned on taking him home. Syaoran would not be the one to take Eriol's word for it.  _Of course not._ Eriol wondered why it was that the ones he liked tended to aggravate him the most.  _I must be a masochist._

But perhaps that was the Clow Reed in him talking. Clow Reed was use to other people just listening to him, and doing what it took to make them. Eriol was just some sorcerer, and most people did not know him. Syaoran, too, had trust issues; with a family like that, what child would not? He just wished he could take away some of the wretched boy's anxiety somehow, though it would probably do him a disservice in the end. He could not very well make Syaoran love him more than he loved his own mother.

_Preposterous._

He was worrying at his eye again. Eriol frowned. Maybe he should take the child to an eye doctor? He had taken the boy for some follow-ups after the hospital stay, but none of the pediatricians had paid particular attention to his eyes. Maybe this was something to do with his actual eye.

" _Syao-chan,_ " Ruby exclaimed, lopping fish and vegetables over his bowl of rice, "you need to eat more to build your strength! Are you feeling alright?" She felt his forehead and seemed satisfied that at least he had no fever.

She fussed over him for the rest of the meal while Eriol decided that he might as well take the boy to the eye doctor, just to rule out the obvious.

 _Kaho can take him,_ he mused.  _That would also give me an opportunity to study the Kikutake at my leisure._  

After all, Eriol Hiiragizawa was not one to be angered, either.

 


	13. Eriol and His Motives

Syaoran was not too enthusiastic about going to the doctor, but he went obediently with Kaho, leaving Eriol free to do what he needed. The Chrysanthemums were still at the mountain castle, so Eriol and the guardians flew there. 

The battle had done a number on the place. Though the debris had been cleaned up, the damage had not been fixed, even after all this time. Likely, the Kikutake did not want their location to be found, and were hard-pressed to find materials and labour.

Eriol was curious about their usual routines. It turned out, they did not actually live together; there were portals, which they used to navigate directly to their respective homes, which he assumed could be scattered all across Japan. The blind girl Ruby killed was, of course, still very much dead, but there was a new watcher at the gate, also young and unassuming. He seemed to be guarding an empty castle most of the time; in the evenings some would occasionally arrive at the castle, perhaps to discuss their next moves, but they would go away again, leaving the boy on his own for the night.

"They don't seem to care for their young," Spinel noted. "Shouldn't the kid be in school?"

"Might have some kind of defect as well," Eriol pointed out, "and with magic, going to school might be redundant."

"Dying on the job would make going to school even more redundant," Ruby said cheerfully.

Eriol inhaled and considered, not for the first time, whether this was something that needed addressing; she had killed the girl far too easily and without remorse. Given the situation, the battle had been getting tight, and Ruby had not dealt the killing blow. Still, it was disturbing that she felt no remorse whatsoever.

Perhaps later.

He went back to the mansion to hear that Syaoran's eyes were normal, as far as the doctor could tell, but he had wanted to run some tests. This time, Syaoran was not cooperative, and they ultimately left the office without getting this done.

"I'm not  _sick_ ," he snapped at Eriol. "There's nothing wrong with my eye!"

Eriol was startled, because Syaoran had been docile enough in the morning.

"It's just a little bit of blood," he tried to reason with the boy. "You've had them drawn in the hospital before."

"They already drew all that blood every single day while I was at the hospital!"

"These are different tests, Xiaolang."

"I don't care!"

He had been a pleasant, though quiet child, ever since coming to the mansion. He did have a reputation for being rude and awkward before though; was this what the others had been talking about? But throughout the exchange, Syaoran did not meet anyone's eyes—something very unusual, Eriol noted. He looked at Kaho, who gave him a look of confusion; she was caught off-guard as well.

"What's the harm?" he tried again. "It would be good to know for sure."

"I don't  _need_ to be sure."

"Xiaolang…"

"I'm not doing it."

"Xiaolang—"

"You can't  _make_ me do it." He met Eriol's eyes at last, and then tears welled up. Syaoran wiped them off furiously, as if angry that they should materialise in the first place, but more just welled up in their place. "This doesn't help anyone, and I'm not going to do something  _just because_."

"OK," Eriol said quietly, as Syaoran dropped his gaze again. The boy glared at the space ahead of him as Eriol tried to figure out what was happening. Obviously, Syaoran was upset, but he could not guess why. His breathing was starting to become shaky; he was on the verge of another breakdown, though he was trying valiantly to hold it back. Within seconds, his aura blackened.

"Xiaolang," Eriol began cautiously, "take a deep breath, and tell me what's wrong."

Syaoran did take a deep breath—a fast one, and in the kitchen, Eriol heard the dishes shatter. It was not a deliberate spell, and he sensed no magic being cast. Kaho started, looking across, though she remained in her seat.

"Nothing is wrong!" Syaoran exclaimed—or rather, yelled. "I'm fine!"

"You're clearly upset," Eriol tried to reason with him. "Did someone say something, or do something, to upset you?"

" _Iie_ _!_ No one did anything, everyone is  _perfect_ ," Syaoran sneered, and his expression was truly hideous. Up the stairs, Eriol heard some muffled pops, like sparks going off. "You're all fine!"

Eriol reached out to touch the boy, but Syaoran shrank back.

" _Syao-chan_ ," Ruby remarked, "you need to calm down."

_Not helpful, Ruby._

"I'm  _fine!_ " and Eriol heard a truly impressive cracking of wood. With no magic he could sense. "Just leave me alone!"

" _Iie,_ " said Eriol, "I will not leave you alone. You need someone here."

"I don't need  _you!_ I don't need any of you, alright?!" and then Syaoran crumpled into full-out sobs, burying his face in his hands. Eriol reached for him, but Syaoran sprang away. "I need to go  _home!_ " he shrieked, and this time his magic did flash. Spinel crouched low as if preparing for an attack, and for a moment Eriol was worried that Syaoran's aura might just lash out in their direction, though he extended a hand to keep his guardians in check. "I need to go  _home!_ I can't  _stand_ this place! I can't  _stand_ anyone here!"

He was going to hurt himself and Kaho if he kept going. This was the worst episode Eriol had ever witnessed. He wished he understood what set the child off this time, so that he could address it appropriately, but at this moment he needed the boy to stop this, immediately.

"Control yourself," he infused his voice with authority. "I highly doubt you can get away with this behavior in your own home, let alone in mine."

This worked. Frighteningly well. Syaoran even stopped crying mid-flow, and clammed up—his aura remained black, but it also appeared to quiet down. Eriol instantly regretted what he said.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Nothing." The boy's voice was very low. " _Gomen nasai_."

"That was not nothing," Eriol scowled. "Don't lie to me, Xiaolang."

"It's stupid, just forget about it." Syaoran turned to leave. Eriol grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. Syaoran glared hard at somewhere at the level of Eriol's collarbones.

"I don't care if it's stupid, I want to know."

"It doesn't matter, alright?"

"It matters to me."  _God, this kid!_ "Just say it, and I'll be the judge of how important it is."

Syaoran opened his mouth, looking like he might push back yet again.

"Tell me  _now_ , Xiaolang!"

"It's just…" Syaoran trailed off, eyes downcast.

" _What,_ Xiaolang?"

" _Mama_ doesn't want me, that's all."

Eriol blinked.

"…Xiaolang, what made you think that?"

"It's obvious, alright? I know you know it too."

"Did someone say something to you?"  _At the office?_ Eriol looked at Kaho, who looked worried but also defeated.  _Was it Kaho?_

" _Iie._ I just—I just realised that every other kid going to the doctor's went with their mom." Syaoran actually tried to smile at this and laugh it off. Eriol could not even grace the resulting look and sound with a description. "And not only did mine not come with me, she also left the country before I was even out of the hospital, and didn't bother calling to talk to me until weeks later. She's not like other moms but I always thought she'd be there when it mattered." His face suddenly lost all colouring as he spoke, as did his aura. "I just…it didn't hit me until I saw the others."

 _Bloody…_ "Xiaolang, you need to sit down."

"I'm fine," he said ironically, and Eriol watched his lips turn blue even as it moved to form words. "I just need a little bit of time to figure things out, that's all."

"You need to sit down right now."

Syaoran did not sit down; he fell down, and Eriol caught him before he could faceplant on the floor.

Kaho and Ruby helped Eriol bring Syaoran to the couch. The boy was not unconscious for long, but he was a little disoriented when he woke, and looked very nauseated and weak. His aura had returned to his normal colour, thankfully. He looked up at Eriol, confused and vulnerable, and Eriol panicked.

"You're going to be fine," he promised, and pressed his hand over the boy's eyes to close them. "Rest now. Go to sleep."

After the attack, Syaoran had no strength to resist the suggestion. He went out.

"Eriol," Kaho whispered, her eyes wide and glossy.

Eriol could not answer her. He bent over the boy, breathing deeply. Ironic, this whole thing. He started the evening trying to get Syaoran to calm down, and now he was the one who needed to calm down. Ruby came to him, pressing a hand to his back, worried.

"Eriol," Kaho whispered again, voice thick with tears, "what do we do?"

Eriol straightened. "I have to think about it."

" _Eriol-sama?_ " Ruby Moon looked at him, worried.

Eriol pressed his palms to his eyes and groaned. "Jesus _Christ_."

He spent the whole night thinking. In the morning, Syaoran joined them in the kitchen, looking heartbreakingly ashamed. He was about to apologise for yesterday, but Eriol did not give him the chance. As soon as he saw the child's miserable expression, Eriol went to him and engulfed him in a tight embrace. Syaoran tensed, then burst into tears again. His skinny arms reached up to wrap around Eriol just as tightly.

"You are a  _good boy_ ," Eriol said directly into his ear—wanted to shout it, if only it would reach through the scars over that precious heart. "If Clow Reed had a son like you, he would never have hidden the book away. I want you to listen to me very closely," and he reached to cradle the boy's head close to his own. "Your mother loves you  _very much._ She cannot and does not love you well, but she abandoned her duties in Hong Kong when she learned you were in trouble. She did not send anyone else; she came herself. She stayed with you for as long as she could and only left when she knew you will recover. She left you with me because she knew who I am and what kind of person I am. Listen to me," for Syaoran was shuddering, "your mother _is_ a liar, and is very good at pretending she is someone else, but I  _promise_ you, I am just as good at seeing other people's hearts. I swore an oath, Xiaolang, that if any harm befell you, I will punish those responsible to the full extent of my power. She heard this. That is why she left you with me. And I promise, Xiaolang, if she were any less of a mother to you, I will tear her to shreds myself. You are loved, Xiaolang."

Syaoran sobbed.

"I know this past year has been difficult," Eriol went on, "I know you've felt very alone. Perhaps you've felt alone all your life." Syaoran's arms tightened at this. "You are not alone anymore. I have no ties to the Li clan or their troubles. I have no ties to what your father left behind. I have only the Clow Cards, and then ties of my own choosing. No matter what happens with the book, I am tied to you."

He held onto Syaoran for as long as the boy allowed, which was a long time, for Syaoran really needed reassurance, even after all that. When he released the child, Kaho took over, folding the boy to her and murmuring in his ear. Eriol did not hear what she had to say, but she had also been awake all night, crying for part of it and sighing in disquiet. She held Syaoran for even longer, and only released him because they had to feed him at some point. Ruby looked perplexed at the situation, but Eriol waved a warning finger at her before she could say anything stupid, like point out all the dishes Syaoran broke.

Syaoran seemed somewhat lost after that, staring at Eriol and Kaho openly and speaking very little. There was such hope in his eyes that Eriol hurt to look at him. He initially wanted to use the day to address the Kikutake, but Syaoran's behavior made him feel compelled to stay. He did not want Syaoran to believe his words were only platitudes. Kaho, too, showered the boy with affection, much to Ruby's chagrin—the guardian quickly grew jealous, but Eriol ordered her to stay put. She only got him back when Syaoran went to her himself. She did not give Syaoran back, but neither did Syaoran try to leave her. He continued watching Eriol and Kaho, as if confirming to himself that they were still there for him. This persisted until he went to bed; Kaho kissed him on the forehead goodnight, before Ruby herded him to their room.

"How long do you think Li Yelan's business is going to take?" Kaho asked.

"Probably for a while," said Eriol.

"Do you intend to stay in Tomoeda, then? Or take him to London with us?"

Eriol sighed.

Kaho looked to the side. "Should we give him back at all? If this family is so toxic that his mother cannot even bring him home when he desperately needs it, I'm not sure it would ever be suitable for a child."

"That is up to her. She knows that if it comes down to it, I will take him away for good."

"Sometimes I really don't understand people. He's just a child. And if Li Yelan is the matriarch, couldn't she exert some authority over them?"

"She is not unlike a queen," Eriol explained, "and as such, lives with the Sword of Damocles, like any sovereign. Among sorcerers, it is especially important to negotiate animosity into amiability. However, I do not know the intricacies of that family. There may be something else going on."

"It might have been what happened yesterday," Kaho said lowly.

They had silently reached the mutual decision not to talk about the mysterious broken dishes, the scorch-marks on the walls down the hall on the second floor, or the broken door to the study that Syaoran had somehow torn in half.

"That," Eriol admitted, "is something I have  _never_ seen before. I wonder if this has to do with his sleeping magic, but it is still… _odd_. Like it was not magic at all. And his usual magic was not depleted."

"It's hardly useful to him if the only way he can access it is to become so upset that he passes out."

"It didn't help him when he was kidnapped. But one shouldbe able to sense magic that is being cast. Just imagine the advantage you would have if your opponent could not even sense when your spell is coming, or whence."

"Do you think  _they_ know this?"

Eriol rubbed his chin in thought.

He called Li Yelan. The woman sounded harassed by something, but she fell completely silent when Eriol told her what happened. He had initially contemplated sugar-coating the ordeal, but then felt it would be a disservice to her to hide something she would need to address when she next spoke to her son. Li Yelan did not speak as he explained, nor did she speak after he finished, for a whole twenty seconds.

 _"I don't know,"_ her voice sounded slightly frightened.  _"That has never happened before. It is not likely to happen again."_

"I don't know," Eriol frowned. "It's there, and he can clearly use it."

_"He's not normally this emotional."_

"It could be developmental too. Once he reaches puberty, who knows what might happen."

Li was silent at this for a moment.  _"What do you intend to do?"_

Eriol was a little thrown by this question, before realizing that Li Yelan was worried about her son's safety, given this development.

"This changes nothing," he tried to reassure her. "The boy is not dangerous. I was more worried that some Li's might know."

She suddenly laughed. It sounded the most happy he had ever heard.  _"No, he has never done this before."_

Her relief made Eriol want to laugh too. What a world they live in. Then he sobered.

"Finish your business soon," he told her. "He needs his mother, badly. We do our best, but he is terrified of abandonment. Phone conversations are a poor substitute."

 _"The bond goes both ways,"_ she said,  _"but I am grateful for your efforts."_

"He is easy to love," Eriol told her, before they said their goodbyes.

That night, Eriol dreamed. He was in a windowless hall, cast in completely darkness, but he could see that the walls were painted in rich colours, and the ceiling above was dotted with stars and images of divine beings, floating with their flowing silks and satins. He wandered slowly down the hall. His footsteps made no sound. There was a chamber branching off, also dark, but he looked in and saw chests, lining against the walls. He went in and opened the lid closest to the entrance. There were porcelain bowls and tea sets, crystal glasses and wooden chopsticks. The next chest had little shirts and coats, pants folded neatly, all made of silk. A green robe was laid out to the side, with golden hems and fine embroidery. Another chest held folded comforters, pillows filled with green beans or stuffed with down. A small sword was in another case, followed by a case with twelve little bells.

The next chamber held a sarcophagus. Eriol pushed the lid, which came off easily, but there was a coffin inside, which he also had to open. Syaoran's body rested, clad in pristine white. His arms were crossed over the Clow Book, which lay inert. He looked like he was sleeping, but there was no movement of air, and no warmth to his form.

Eriol woke to a bright summer day, but a cold had penetrated him, a numbness that froze his limbs and had him staring in disbelief at the window where the birds were cheerfully singing.

* * *

He tracked down one of the Kikutake to find that the police had gotten there before him. The apartment where the man lived had been had been ransacked. His wife was young and nonmagical, though she had also been taken for interrogation. Eriol left them alone; they could rot in jail, as far as he was concerned, and he could always come back later.

He tracked down another one, an older man who lived alone, recently divorced, but he was not Youta. Eriol left him alone as well.

He went through several members this way, and thought he might not be able to find Youta today after all, but in the evening, he saw the man heading out of his office building. The  _ounusa_ was not obviously on him, but it had a miniature form, like Eriol's own key.

He looked like a typical Japanese man. It was the golden teeth, really, that initially caught Eriol's eye. Clad in a business suit, with an easy smile, no one could ever guess that this man tormented a child. Eriol was honestly amazed, even now; Clow had seen his share of despicable humans, and many were just like this: ordinary on the outside, save for that slight feeling of  _off-ness_ that was not usually enough to label them as a psychopath. It was frightening, even now, how close maniacs resemble normal people.

He followed the sorcerer to his home, which was actually in Tokyo. He lived in a good neighborhood, and his apartment was new and sturdy. Eriol debated killing him right then and there, but he reined in the impulse; best not attack until he located the  _ounusa_ and addressed that, first. He would prefer to attack Youta without that heinous staff.

He had been about to leave; Clow had always taken his time coming up with good plans when given the choice, but then Youta had visitors. A couple: man and woman, both tall and thin. The woman had ginger hair, while the man had tight dark curls.

Neither had any magic Eriol could sense.

 _"I'm disappointed,"_ said the woman without preamble.

Her voice was familiar.  _Is that Lamb?_

 _"I'm working on it."_ Youta's voice was calm, but his aura was edged with tension.

 _"We can find someone else, if this is too difficult,"_ said the man. _"We are not unreasonable."_

" _Iie, iie_ , I just…there have been some incidents on this side, but it's over now. It shouldn't be long."

 _"Careful,"_ said the woman. _"One can only make that promise so many times."_

It  _was_ Lamb. Beatrice Lamb; she was a sorceress Eriol had encountered once in passing. She had not known who Eriol was and did not take much note of him. At the time, however, she definitely had an aura that Eriol was able to sense; she was quite strong, but not as strong as Clow Reed. Initially from London, she was regarded as one of the more powerful magicians in the country, though often reserved, absent from most social events, and uninvolved in politics. She had been polite enough, though disinterested and therefore not the most amiable, which had suited Eriol well.

 _How did she get to working with the Kikutake?_ And since when was she powerful enough to hide herself from  _him?_ Did this mean she was more powerful? But she did not seem to notice that Eriol was present.

 _"I don't make false promises,"_ said Youta.

The man murmured something, but Eriol was too busy trying to place his face. He did not recognise the sorcerer. They had never met. He was younger than Lamb, perhaps in his twenties, and also devoid of any magical aura. Though it could be that he simply did not have magic, the way he carried himself around Lamb suggested that he was easily as strong as she.

 _"You had better get to it,"_ said Lamb.  _"A little ocean won't keep you safe from those like us, Kikutake."_

Youta slammed the door on them in a demonstration of his own defiance. They did not bother to acknowledge him, instead turning away from his apartment door to take the elevator downstairs.

Eriol followed them out and to a hotel, where he was unable to spy on them further; they raised wards of protection far more potent than even those in Eriol's mansion.

This could all be something else; not everything had to be connected, but Eriol wanted to make sure.

He was going to have to make a few more long-distance phone calls.

* * *

_"Beatrice Lamb?"_

Christopher Watson, who was a sorcerer of moderate power, but had a number of artifacts which he used to boost his influence, was not the most trustworthy of associates, but he was still someone who tended to know a lot about others. Eriol's dealings with him had been cordial, mostly because Watson knew better than to cross him. Still, Eriol had struggled for some time with his decision; word might get out that Eriol was in Japan, which would draw even more unwanted attention, but as long as he kept Watson from being too curious and divulged as little information as possible, the risk should not be much worse than when the Clow Cards initially bonded with Syaoran.

_"She hasn't revealed any diabolical plans to me, though of course, I am hardly the person to confide in. If she's in Japan dealing with unsavoury individuals, it could be for the same reason you or I deal with unsavoury individuals; they're there and they need to be dealt with."_

"Have her powers grown lately?"

 _"Hm,"_ Watson sounded like he wanted to play coy, but thought better of it.  _"Nothing overt. It's not like I have been paying attention to her; she's not the most interesting person, you see, but I will say, there has been an odd comment here and there, that something is different about her. She married Henry Logsworth about four years ago, who's rich and has a lot of magical antiques from all over the world, which he loans to individuals with interest and some binding oaths."_

"Is he powerful?"

_"Respectably so, I would say. He could hold his own, as could his wife. Don't think either of them would be particularly interested in the Clow Cards, though. Wouldn't suit their purposes; they're both strong enough on their own and it's not something you can lend to someone, especially given the guardians that protect them."_

"Well, they're with some poor company all the same," Eriol muttered, "but we shan't go into that."

 _"By the way,"_ Watson suddenly remarked,  _"do you still keep track of the Li clan these days?"_

"Not especially. Why?"

_"Have you heard about the Oracle at Delphi?"_

"I haven't been keeping track, lately."

_"Her guardian was murdered. They say it's the Li clan's doing. Which is odd, because what is the Li clan doing all the way out here?"_

"Any motive?"

_"Nothing we can tell."_

"How do they know the Li clan is involved?"

_"Well, the perpetrator was a clansman. He fled Europe before they could give chase. This was seen with their Time magic."_

"The Oracle's time magic is stronger than most in Europe," Eriol agreed. "She would know who slew her guardian. I am unaware of any relationship between them, however. I can't imagine why a clansman would go so far out of his way."

_"I don't know either, but something is going on with that clan. The Oracle's guardian is the most high profile, but there were a number of other incidents that seem to be related. Those include thefts, though, artifacts gone missing—this one's didn't include any collateral losses, just the guardian. Anyway, I figured since you and Clow and the Li's, and considering you're on that side of the planet; better stay up to date, H."_

"I appreciate it. Take care of yourself, Watson."

 _"I am a far simpler man than you, H,"_ Watson laughed,  _"Give me money and I am content. Goodbye now."_

Eriol hung up and took a deep breath. He had forgotten how convoluted sorcerers could be.

He was suddenly very tempted to actually  _take_ Syaoran from the Li clan. He really did not like how they were involved in such things. The boy was innocent, and Eriol wanted very much to keep him that way.

That would have to be left for later, however.

Ruby Moon and Syaoran were downstairs, watching anime. It looked like something Ruby would enjoy more than Syaoran, who wore a distant, unfocused look that suggested his mind was elsewhere. He snapped to when Eriol joined them, sliding into the space next to the boy with a huff.

" _Eriol-sama, daijoubu desu ka?_ " Ruby asked.

"Fine," Eriol stretched. "What is this? Sailor Moon?"

"There are other shows besides Sailor Moon, you know," his guardian snarked.

Eriol ignored her. "How are you doing, Xiaolang?"

"I'm alright," Syaoran said quietly.

Eriol reached over and took the boy's hand in his own, flipping it so it was palm up. It was nice and slender, plump with lingering baby fat, with the silky softness of a child.

"Ever had your fortune told?" he asked, thinking about the Oracle at Delphi.

"People have tried," Syaoran replied. "They couldn't read it." His hand remained limp in Eriol's.

Eriol clapped his own palm over that hand. "What about palm-reading?"

Syaoran shrugged. "That's not accurate."

Eriol was silent for a moment, as the show went on. He was initially thinking about the Oracle and her guardian; the Oracle at Delphi had several guardians, who tended to her and the temple. They were not guardians like Yue and Cerberus; they were more like priests, who took a vow and underwent a purification ritual which bound them in service of the priestess. The Oracle was one of the few entities in the magical world that did not have any conflicts of interest, and they were not known to make bargains or deals with anyone. What would the Li clan possibly kill them for?

"Xiaolang," he began, "what is your clan's relationship to other clans? Do you know?"

Syaoran tensed. "… _Iie._ Why?"

No luck, there.

"Nothing." Maybe he was just too young. Eriol rubbed that hand before releasing it.

" _Matte,_ _nan desu ka?_ " Syaoran sounded frightened as Eriol stood up. Eriol looked at him. He had not meant to worry the child.

"Mm," he kept himself casual, "just some personal business of my own. It's nothing important, Xiaolang."

Syaoran continued to stare. He did not look reassured.

"I'll tell you if anything comes of it," Eriol compromised, which seemed to make the boy feel better, for whatever reason. He pressed a knuckle to Syaoran's forehead, and was rewarded with a nervous smile.

 _God, if the Li clan ruin him, I will rain hellfire down on them…_ but he shook these thoughts away.

* * *

The Kinomoto residence was restored rather quickly, and shortly after Li's release from the hospital, the family moved out of the hotel and back to their old home. A number of things were irreparably damaged, but Nadeshiko's pictures were largely untouched, as were most of Fujitaka's collection in the basement. Even so, Touya chose to visit Yukito's house more often than not. They would sit on the front steps, drinking cool soft drinks and watching cars drive by.

"Is Yue seeing and hearing…everything?" he suddenly asked Yukito after a family with a stroller ambled past.

"He's always here."

"Did you always know he was there?"

" _Iie._ "

"…You're taking this well, then."

"I don't know," Yukito admitted. "It's like…when I knew I just…suddenly knew, but it wasn't a surprise. I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"Creepy," Touya concluded. "So he was there when that  _gaki_ crashed into you without apologzing and you scraped your knee falling off your bike."

"I guess."

"And when  _Masato_ smacked that volleyball into your face and gave you a black eye."

" _Hai._ "

"And he didn't come out or anything?"

"Well, it all worked out," Yukito shrugged, "plus I don't think he  _could_ come out."

"He told you this?"

"…I just know."

Touya stared at him. "I don't get it."

"…I don't get it either."

"But he's  _you_! And you're  _him!_ What—how does this even work?"

"I don't know." Yukito rubbed his forehead. He was very tired and dearly wanted a nap. "I…have my own thoughts, and he has his, and sometimes we don't really want the same thing."

"Such as?"

Yukito sighed.

"Were you bothered at all when you learned?"

"Of course I was. I keep going over everything I thought I knew." He had questioned everything he had believed to be true, from his age to his gender to his name, his likes and dislikes, whether he truly needed glasses and if his grades were such because he studied or because Yue had known. It should have driven him crazy, but perhaps Yue's presence in his mind kept him in a somewhat calm and collected state, dismissing such details as irrelevant. He was Yukito, whatever that meant. His feelings and thoughts were real, even if his memories were not, and that was enough. Though sometimes Yukito felt like he might lose his composure, he never did, somehow. Things just…were, and there were always more important things at hand. By the time everything else settled somewhat, he was already use to it.

It seemed Touya was still wrapping his head around this development, though.

"Your grandparents don't exist."

" _Iie._ "

"Your  _parents_ don't even exist."

" _Iie._ "

"So then why aren't you like that stuffed animal? He looks different but he doesn't have an alter ego."

"I don't know. I…" Yukito paused and stretched his mind back.  _Is it alright if I tell him?_ But Yue was silent, as usual; neither encouraging nor discouraging.

"I think he didn't really want to be involved," Yukito went on. "He was…very hurt, you see. Clow's death…hit him hard, because…he didn't have to die, right then. He had enough power to live for as long as he wanted. He just chose…to leave, and Yue didn't want him to go. When he passed away…Yue took it hard. Still takes it hard."

Touya scowled. "So…Hiiragizawa…"

"Was a shock."

"Doesn't Hiiragizawa have all of Clow Reed's memories…?"

" _…Un._ "

"Did he talk to Yue at all?" the boy asked in concern.

Yukito closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.

"He keeps saying he's not Clow Reed," Touya said after a moment. "If Clow Reed were anyone worth loving, I'd say Hiiragizawa is right. Between creating that…creepy guardian, and just flat-out ignoring you…after all of that. That's not right."

"I also nearly got his descendant killed."

"Yuki, that really wasn't your fault. Neither of you. It was a difficult situation. Who knows, maybe if the kid actually went out that day, he would really be dead. Maybe if you actually apologize…I mean I don't know. The kid's a brat but…"

"With Ruby Moon in the way, I don't stand a chance."

Touya heaved a long-suffering sigh. "You want a wingman? I'll distract her for you."

"He's scared of me too." Yukito shook his head. "Maybe some things…aren't meant to  _be_ forgiven. And it's not like an apology can ever undo what happened to him."

" _Iie,_ but it's better than being silent, in this case. At least he'd know that you care." Touya suddenly rolled his eyes. " _Kami-sama._ We're like a bunch of  _girls_. Though seriously, sometimes the gesture matters. Next time you're ready to give it a shot, I'll drag Ruby Moon away by her head-buns."

Yukito laughed.

"…Thanks, To-ya. Having you here…really makes things better."

"Ach," Touya wiped at his sleeves as if brushing off cooties. "Ew. Ugh! Too  _shounen-ai._ Too  _shounen-ai_. Ugh, when did we get all mushy? That kid ruined everything, let me tell you."

Yukito punched Touya in the arm as hard as he could. Touya winced, and maintained the grimace for a while, enough that Yukito started to get worried.

"I'm fine!" he inserted before Yukito could start the question. "I needed that. But  _ow_ , who knew that a nerd like you can pack so much?"

This time Yukito was the one who rolled his eyes. He stood up and turned to head inside.

"Get me an ice pack?" Touya called after.

"You  _are_ a girl, To-ya."

"Oh shut up."


	14. Slow Healing and the Moon Guardians

Sakura realized something was wrong with Yue when she went over to Yukito's house to visit him.

"You look tired," she noted, because the color to Yukito's face was rather like Syaoran's. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine," Yukito summoned his usual smile. "Come in. How are things going,  _Sakura-chan?_ "

"Pretty well," she replied, stepping inside to slip off her shoes. " _Syaoran-kun_ was asking after you and  _Kero-chan_ the other day."

Yukito looked up again, appearing faintly startled; part of this, Sakura guessed, was her use of his first name.

"He said he would like to see you," which was not  _exactly_ what Syaoran had said, but Sakura did not feel bad taking a little liberty with the message. After all, if Syaoran had  _not_ wanted to see the guardians, why bring them up at all? "I told him I would bring you two around, next time…if that's alright."

Yukito folded his arms. "When would be a good time?"

"I tend to just go over there when I feel like it," Sakura admitted. "I call to make sure, of course."

They moved over to the living room, where Sakura curled up on the couch.

"He's doing better," she told Yukito. "He's…talking, now."

"That's good," Yukito said from where he had veered into the kitchen, collecting glasses to pour water in.

"Still has a cough," Sakura went on, "still looks kind of sick. Doesn't want to leave the house."

She saw Yukito straighten at this and inhale deeply, but he did not otherwise react. He brought the glasses over.

"When do you want to head over?"

"It's summer," said Yukito, "I have the prep classes but otherwise I can head over whenever."

Sakura frowned. "You're still taking prep classes for the exam?"

"It's something to do," Yukito pointed out.

"What if…" Sakura trailed off.

Yukito took his glass but did not drink from it. Sakura wavered, then decided to plunge forward. It was something they had to talk about anyway.

"Do you think  _Syaoran-kun_ wants the cards back?"

Yukito inhaled. "Hard to say, with everything that's happened."

"I don't know how to bring the subject up." Then Sakura admitted, "Part of me…doesn't really want to give him the cards."

Yukito nodded at this confession.

"It's not even the power," Sakura went on. "I hardly use them, normally. I just…it feels like they're the only things tying me to…to you and  _Kero-chan._ "

Yukito looked at her. "You have magic in you,  _Sakura-chan._ That was always you, and never the cards. They presented an opportunity for you to become aware of it, but once you are aware, the world of magic will always be open to you. Whether you are master of the cards will not change that. We will always be part of you, and you will always be part of us, no matter what happens."

"… _Un._ " Sakura did not feel terribly encouraged, but this was not something they could answer without Syaoran's input. "The right thing to do is to at least offer them to him."

Yukito did not reply.

* * *

Eriol mentioned that Syaoran might benefit from some sun. Syaoran thought he could benefit just as well in the mansion's back yard, but Eriol insisted he should go out. Ruby Moon, freshly transformed into Nakuru, thus took him out with Kaho to the mall; Spinel wanted some books, and Kaho had wanted to shop for some clothes; she needed a blouse to match some skirt or some skirt to match some blouse, or whatever it was—either way it was boring.

" _Suppi-chan_ never does anything but read. All those books go to waste since he just goes ahead and reads the next one."

"It's his time," Kaho pointed out. "He can choose how he spends it. Reading is as good a way as any."

"Boring," Nakuru complained. "Ugh, and  _Eriol-sama_ wants me to enroll in  _school. Whyyyyyy._ This stinks!"

"You might as well," Kaho said dryly, "that way you will find some use for all the dresses that you buy."

Syaoran managed not to groan. If Ruby Moon also participated in this ordeal, the clothes-shopping part of this trip was going to take ages. "How exactly is buying stuff inside stores going to help me get any sunlight?"

Kaho turned her face to the side. At first Syaoran could not hear because of the traffic, but her shoulders shook; she was laughing.

"It's to get you out of the house, silly! Get some fresh air!" Nakuru tapped him gently on the head.

"Is there anything you want to buy,  _Syaoran-kun?_ " Kaho asked.

 _A plane ticket home._ It was on the tip of his tongue, but all this would accomplish is break the levity. Plus, he did not bring his wallet; his wallet was actually back at his flat, inconveniently, and he had never had an opportunity to fetch it. " _Iie,_ " he stated.

"What do you tend to do in your spare time?" his teacher asked.

These days, Syaoran usually stared into space, or read some of the books Spinel was not reading, though it was more like he stared at the pages of books Spinel was not reading. As for the past, Syaoran actually had trouble remembering; that seemed like a lifetime ago, and none of the things he use to do seemed all that interesting.

Kaho laughed again; he was taking too long. "Oh my. That's a loaded question, isn't it? What are you thinking about?"

He remembered something he use to do. "I use to go for long walks."

"Really?" Nakuru jumped in. "Where do you tend to walk?"

"Anywhere." Syaoran shrugged.

"Would you like to go for a walk after this? I'm interested in the route you usually take."

"Well, I can tell you," Syaoran replied, not feeling inclined to walk more when they were already walking to and from the mall, and he might have to sit through girls and  _shopping_. "I go from my apartment to King Penguin Park, I do a few circles around and then I go back home. It's not that complicated."

"It's a nice healthy way to spend your time," Kaho said approvingly. "Do you walk every day?"

"When the weather is good."

"We should walk today!" Nakuru pointed to the sky. "Then you would definitely get your sunlight,  _Syao-chan!_ "

Something about his profound reluctance must have shown on his face, because Kaho then said, "I think today a trip to the mall would be sufficient. He's still recovering his strength."

Shopping for clothes was every bit as boring as Syaoran predicted it would be, with an unexpected twist that Kaho actually was more interested in buying _Syaoran_ clothes.

"I have clothes at my apartment," Syaoran exclaimed in horror, both because he had not anticipated having to participate in this activity, and because of the aforementioned lack of wallet. He had been wearing Eriol's castoffs so far, something that was rather awkward but he had not initially thought much about—mostly because by the time he really had much awareness of what was going on, he had already been wearing them for a while.

"They probably don't fit you anymore," Kaho said easily, and then parried away any further argument by going ahead to the children's section and picking out a shirt. "Here, I want you to hold onto these until we find a fitting room for you."

_What!_

She made him try all these stupid shirts and shorts as if there were any difference, ignoring his protests until it was clear that any argument was futile. Syaoran gave up when Nakuru joined in; he was no match for two women on a mission. Nakuru actually had good taste; Syaoran was afraid she was going to try to make him cute, something he genuinely did not need right now, but she seemed to realize that girl's clothes should not be worn by boys, for one, and fortunately chose simple outfits that did not make Syaoran look like a freak.

The venture lasted _forever._ He also always had a tendency to underestimate how  _exhausting_ shopping for clothes could be, as if the act of taking something off and putting something on, and then taking that off and putting the first thing back on, were some kind of workout at the gym. It was not long before he had to find someplace to sit so he would not drop dead, and most of the clothes aisles had nowhere to sit, since that sort of thing was confined to shoes—and he did not want to give Kaho any ideas. Syaoran ended up sitting on the floor, feeling slightly nauseated and uncertain why.

"Are you alright?" Nakuru felt his forehead. " _Kaho-san_ , I think he's done."

"Oh," Kaho hung what they chose over her left arm. "Why is he on the floor? Bring him over to where there's a chair," which was, of course, the shoe section.

Kaho went to buy Spinel's books to give Syaoran time to rest, while Nakuru, quickly getting bored, opted to try on shoes, and then parade them in front of Syaoran where he sat. It was, Syaoran mused, probably what he might expect if he ever got married. And was a good argument for never getting married.

_Ugh._

The walk back to Eriol's mansion was far longer than the walk to the mall, with Syaoran practically hanging on Nakuru's arm in his fatigue. By the time they went indoors, Syaoran's coloring, Kaho informed him, was very pallid.

"Stamina," said Eriol, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "That sort of thing is hard to calculate. Are you hungry? Why don't you rest for a bit; Ruby can cook us something and we'll call you down when it's ready.

"I'll take you up," and Nakuru lifted Syaoran up, as if he were light as a feather. Once, Syaoran would have protested such treatment; he was too _big_ for this sort of thing, but this crowd had seen him at his worst anyway, and frankly, there was a part of him that was relieved he did not need the stairs, and another part that really wanted to be picked up by someone.

He honestly could not recall ever being picked up before Ruby Moon.

As they went up the stairs, Syaoran saw Kaho drop the bag of clothes on the couch. "They have some good ones today," she said to Eriol. "You and I should go and get some clothes for you."

The expression on Eriol's face was so  _perfect_ that Syaoran could not help but burst out laughing. They both looked up at him, startled, and then Nakuru turned as she reached the top floor, so they went out of sight.

Syaoran could not stop laughing though. That was  _brilliant._

* * *

That evening, Ruby Moon came up with a brilliant idea.

"I need to stretch my wings," she whined, and then looked at Syaoran. "Let's go flying! What do you think?"

Syaoran was very intrigued; his last experience had been with Yue, and it had been kind of harrowing, but for a good reason. Maybe a more leisurely flight would be more enjoyable. After all…it's  _flying._

"He really wants to go. Look at him perking up. Come on," Ruby laughed, extending her arms out to him. Syaoran went to her and allowed her to pick him up. " _Suppi-chan!_ Do you want to join us?"

 _"Quit calling me that!"_ Spinel yelled.

"But it's so  _apropos!_ Just you wait," Ruby adjusted Syaoran in her arms, "he's going to learn to like it. Give him time."

Flying in the air was quite a bit more intimidating in practice than in speech; Syaoran had experience thanks to Yue, but there had not been quite as much thought involved. He had the sudden realization that Ruby could  _drop_ him, and while he knew she would never mean to…he still wanted to hold on to her, which meant she had to carry him in one arm instead of both if he wanted to face forward. The risk was well worth it though; they flew high up, until the city looked like a scale model in a library. From their vantage point, Syaoran could see the school, which he had not attended for weeks; King Penguin Park, with the slide plump and fat where it was situated. Syaoran's own apartment building loomed high up, and he could see the dark windows where he would normally reside.

That had been his home for almost a year. He remembered first stepping foot in the place, hoping that everything worked and there were no holes anywhere, worried that someone might notice that there was a kid living in the flat all by himself and choosing to take advantage. He had hoped to capture all the Clow Cards quickly and get back home before something bad happened.

Then he grew comfortable.

_And then bad things happened._

" _Syao-chan?_ " Ruby tightened her hold, sensing his disquiet. "Is everything alright?"

He tightened his hold around her neck. " _Hai,_ " he said softly. "Can we stay up here for a while?"

"That's the idea!" she declared, as Spinel's small form swooped past. " _Ei! Suppi-chan!_ Don't go too far ahead, mate!"

"Stop calling me that!"

Ruby turned to him, grinning. "Want to see if we can catch him?"

Syaoran grinned widely at her. " _Hai!_ "

"Alright, hold on tight!" Securing her grip, Ruby dove. Syaoran twisted his body around to hold on with both arms, letting out a shriek. He was kind of terrified, but also very thrilled.

" _Syaoran-chan!_ You have to tap him!" Ruby called out, and reached over with her other arm. "Come on! Reach out! I'll hold on to you so you can tap him!"

" _Neh?!_ " Spinel turned his head, and then his eyes widened as they caught up. "Oh no you don't!"

* * *

When they decided to go, Touya ended up having to run some errands for Fujitaka, so he could not be Yukito's "wingman". Yukito, Kero, and Sakura went over to Hiiragizawa's mansion early in the afternoon to find that Syaoran was still sleeping.

"The brat didn't sleep all night," Hiiragizawa reported, rolling his eyes. "I should have figured, but it's impossible to tell with that child. He was giggling all the way until two in the morning before he finally settled down, and Ruby Moon was no help either.  _Kaho-san_ , make sure you have your camera ready; I have a feeling today would feature some Kodak moments."

He probably predicted that the boy was going to be a sleepy mess, but when Syaoran did wake up, he was a hyperactive ball of energy.

 _"Let's do it again!"_  they heard him declare upstairs, _"but this time you should be in your true form!"_

 _"That's up to Eriol-sama,"_ Spinel's voice sounded dry and a little put out.

_"But Keroberus always said he was faster in his true form, and I want to know if Ruby can catch **you** in  **your** true form—"_

_"I so can! Particularly at night, Suppi-chan is as blind as a bat—"_

_"How many times do I have to tell you—"_

Then  _thunk thunk thunk,_ Syaoran went down the steps faster than Sakura when she was late for school. " _Eriol-san!_ Can—"

He paused to look at the guests, and the guests paused to look at him; he was still in his pajamas, his hair was standing up like a rooster's crest, and he was hugging a very long-suffering Spinel Sun in both arms as if he were a stuffed teddy bear. Syaoran did a double-take; all three of the visitors also did a double-take, and then Syaoran promptly dismissed the situation as unsalvageable, and his guests unimportant anyway. " _Eriol-san!_ Can you transform Spinel into his true form tonight I want to see how fast he can go and if _Onee-chan_ can catch him and maybe he can carry me!"

Hiiragizawa stared at him.

"I  _so_ can catch him—" Ruby Moon—or Nakuru, shouted from upstairs.

 _Click_ , went Mizuki's camera.

"Huh?" Syaoran looked at her.

"Do you want to send this one to his mother as proof that we're not eating him?" she asked Eriol.

"I certainly can," Hiiragizawa replied to Syaoran, "but it won't happen until tonight. Unlike you, I don't have unlimited reserves of magic to power him in his true form while he's reading."

"That's fine!"

"Alright, kid," Spinel wiggled, "That's enough. I'm not actually a cat, you know."

" _Iie!_ I caught you!"

"You had me all night!"

Syaoran giggled but let him go. Spinel floated up. "You people are lunatics," he declared. "See, this is why I prefer my books."

"You're boring," Ruby Moon came down. She was, in fact, in her false form. "Seriously, an actual cat would be an improvement."

"You just have no culture," Spinel darted away.

Syaoran giggled again as he disappeared, and then turned back to look at Hiiragizawa—and then seemed to fully realize that they had guests.

"…"

"Xiaolang," Hiiragizawa said gently, "maybe you should go get changed."

Syaoran looked down at himself, and then looked up, turning red. After wavering for a few seconds, he turned around and hurried upstairs.

Hiiragizawa looked at Mizuki. "You did get a photo, right?"

She simply waved the camera at him.

"At least he slept well, apparently," Hiiragizawa shook his head.

* * *

Mizuki went to put away the camera, and Hiiragizawa went to check on Xiaolang, who was taking a little longer than expected in order to change. This left Nakuru in the room with the three of them. She explained what they had done last night.

"He was screaming and laughing like a hyena," she said, pointedly to Yukito. "if only you could have seen it. Such joy. Who knew that  _flying_ could lift his spirits so easily? It's a shame you never tried it; you would have bonded so well otherwise. We're going to fly again tonight, him, me, and Spinel Sun. That's what he was talking about earlier. I would invite you as well, but I wouldn't want to tire out  _Sakura-chan_ here over a bit of  _frivolity._ Besides, I doubt that you would win anyway; older models tend to be slower than the newer ones."

Sakura glared. "That's not very nice."

"Is that a challenge?" Kero exclaimed.

"Aw,  _Kero-tan_ , are you getting upset? It's not a big deal; we know this already."

"Why you…" Kero's head looked like it was about to explode. "Oh really? Well I'll take you up on that! You might be able to catch your partner, but you sure won't catch me!"

"Kerberus," Yukito started.

"Oh my," Nakuru sneered, "and what if Sakura needs to use magic later, eh? Are you really going to risk your mistress over a little wager like this? That is very brave of you, especially after what happened after your last master, hm?"

"Nakuru."

Hiiragizawa was not quite downstairs, but he had heard. His face was an impassive mask. Behind him, Syaoran's expression was also unreadable. He had switched into a normal shirt and a pair of shorts. The shirt had a label hanging by the sleeve.

Hiiragizawa gave Syaoran a brief pat on the arm while keeping his gaze fixed on Nakuru, who had fallen completely silent. Syaoran branched off to the kitchen, presumably to look for a pair of scissors. Hiiragizawa gave a jerk of his head, and Nakuru quietly rose and left the room.

"I apologize," Hiiragizawa sat down. "She…she is the way she is. My oversight, but not something I know how to correct right now."

"That was really mean," Sakura said angrily.

"It was indeed," Hiiragizawa agreed. "But she is good to Xiaolang. Poor child's starved for affection…" he shook his head, as if realizing he was speaking out loud. "In any case, I haven't seen the two of you for a while. I hope all is well with you two?"

"Fine," Kero said flatly.

Yukito said nothing.

Syaoran joined them then, looking solemn. The label on his shirt was gone.

Hiiragizawa rose. "Come, sit. I'll be in my office."

" _Hai, Eriol-san_."

Hiiragizawa ruffled Syaoran's head as the boy sat down in his spot. Syaoran watched him go as if wishing he would not leave, and then looked back at the others.

" _Gomen nasai_ ," he began awkwardly, "That—I didn't realize you were coming."

" _Iie,_ we're the ones who are sorry," said Sakura. "I didn't know you had such a late night. It sounded like you had a lot of fun though."

Syaoran appeared to try to smile, but did not quite do it. He looked nervously at Kero and Yukito. "I haven't seen you two for a while," he began, echoing Hiiragizawa's remark. "You look well."

"You look much better yourself," Yukito said kindly.

Syaoran rubbed his head. "I guess I would," he agreed. "It…it must be nice, now? With…Sakura?"

Another awkward silence fell.

" _Ano_ …" Sakura hesitated, "so…are you going to go flying again tonight?"

"… _Hai_ ," Syaoran nodded. "It's—I mean, I guess you would know since…you have the Fly Card and…you've flown before. But it's pretty…amazing."

" _Un._ " Sakura nodded. "The Fly is one of the first cards I captured."

"You used it a lot."

" _…Hai._ "

Another awkward silence fell.

Syaoran ducked his head. "I don't think I ever…really thanked all of you, for saving me." He looked at the guardians then. "I— _Eriol-san_ told me that you were the ones who got me…out of…there. And…I really appreciate it."

"You don't have to thank us for that," Sakura blinked. "Of course we had to get you out of there. You're our friend!"

Syaoran appeared to try to smile, but failed even more than last time, and his countenance twisted into a grimace.

" _Hai…_ well, I'm grateful all the same. I wasn't…I wasn't a good friend, really." He lowered his eyes for a moment.

The three had no idea what to say.

"I'm going to check on Nakuru," Syaoran rose suddenly and practically fled the room. It was a very tactless way to dismiss himself, but then Syaoran was never particularly good at such things.

 _This is a disaster,_ Sakura thought.

* * *

In the end, they did not accept the challenge, mostly because it was clear that the boy would have had much less fun. He started perking up as they were leaving, as if the knowledge that Kero and Yue would be gone made him happier. Unlike Ruby Moon, he was not trying to be rude; it was a genuine, guileless, childlike reaction to when something he found unpleasant was going away. Yukito could remember when Li had fumbled and blushed and strove for Yukito's approval. The contrast was stark and bothered in him ways he did not want to examine.

Kero was also thoughtful; they went together to walk Sakura back to her home, and said nothing of today's visit. Touya opened the door as Sakura looked for her keys.

"Think I'm getting the hang of this sensing thing," said the teen. He looked at his sister and then at Yukito. "Oh. That bad, huh?"

"You're not looking so great," he said later, when Sakura and Kero retreated upstairs. "You've been kind of out of it. Are you coming down with something?"

"I hope not," Yukito shook his head.

Touya boiled some water to brew tea with in the kitchen. "So what, did he freak out again, panic attacks galore, nervous breakdown at the sight of your very intimidating nerd-face?"

" _Iie._ Just…it was painful. He was awkward and we were awkward."

"Pfft," Touya came to sit down while he waited for the water to bubble. "Well, I could have predicted that. I'm surprised that he  _didn't_ need a breathing bag. It's actually quite a step."

Yukito sighed.

"How is he doing otherwise?"

"He looks well. He's bonded with Ruby Moon. She took him out flying yesterday and he was apparently so excited he didn't sleep until two in the morning. Came rushing downstairs carrying Spinel Sun asking  _Hiiragizawa-san_ if they could do it again tonight. I've never seen him so happy in my life."

" _Happy?_ Didn't figure that kid had that setting as one of his functions."

"He was laughing."

Touya mock gasped. "No way." He then considered. "Wait a second. Seriously, no way. I didn't know that kid had that function."

"I guess there were a lot of things we didn't know." Yukito looked down at his hands.

Two days later, Yukito and Touya had a half-day at their prep program, and went to a food truck to buy lunch. Yukito saw Li by accident; once again, he was with Nakuru. They were on their way to the same food truck from across the street. Touya barely had time to drop enough  _yen_ before Yukito pushed him behind a tree.

" _Kami-sama,_ Yuki, why are we hiding behind this tree?"

Yukito held his finger to his lips and pointed.

Touya leaned over. "Are you serious? What, we can't even hang out in front of a food truck when that kid is here? This is ridiculous—"

"Just—just bear with me, alright? They'll be gone soon—"

"Yuki, just because the kid has a problem with you doesn't mean you have to sneak around him. He can have a problem with you to your face."

"I'm not sneaking around! And don't tell me you really want to say hi to Nakuru."

Touya blanched. "Alright good point right let's camp out here until they go.  _Kami-sama_ , why did Hiiragizawa create someone so annoying?"

Li was chattering to Nakuru, sounding much more like his usual self compared to the ball of energy that came rolling down the stairs the other day.

_"Does Oka-san pay Eriol-san? You guys are spending a lot of money on me."_

_"I wouldn't know,"_ said Nakuru,  _"and not like I care. He's got a bank account."_

_"Still probably shouldn't spend all of it though."_

_"Kid, don't worry about it, alright? You practically live like a Jedi anyway. Tell me what you want. And don't go picking the cheapest one or else I will smack you."_

_"What's a 'Jedi'?"_

_"What do you want to eat?!"_

And then Li was laughing.

Touya's mouth dropped open as the boy made his selection.

_"Should we get something for Eriol-san and Spinel-san?"_

_"It's **Suppi** , Syao-chan. Come on, work with me here."_

_"Well?"_

_"Oh **fine** , we'll buy something for them."_

They made their purchase, and then began walking down the block past the tree Touya and Yukito were hiding behind. The tree was not big enough to hide both of them, but they need not have bothered; Nakuru was blocking Li's view, and she looked directly at them as she passed. She was smirking. She had known they were there.

" _Kuso,_ " Touya swore once they were out of earshot. "Seriously? Can I slap her? I realize she's Hiiragizawa's guardian but can I please  _please_ smack the smug off her face?"

"It serves us right," Yukito said wearily. "The polite thing to do would have been to greet them."

"Why should we be polite when she's the one that's rude?"

"Impeccable logic, To-ya."

"Seriously, I might have a few words with Hiiragizawa," Touya went on. "He owes me for putting up with this nonsense. I bet I can convince him to even the score by allowing me a few whacks."

Despite himself, Yukito had to laugh. "Right, and Ruby Moon will just stand there and allow you to hit her. She's a moon guardian, To-ya. Even if she did, you'd break your hand before she feels any hurt."

Touya just grumbled as the two of them left their posts and began walking down the same sidewalk to find a place to sit down and eat.

"Plus, what would that make you?"

"A hero. I'd be doing the world a service."

"Right, because the world needs people who resort to violence in the face of those who annoy them. That's not the least bit disturbing."

"Being annoying should be considered a crime worthy of getting smacked for."

"I can see it now. Kinomoto Touya, making Japan great again. Through violence targeted at those who are annoying."

"I would be so good," Touya declared, "then  _no one_ would be annoying, and the world would be so much better."

Yukito could no longer speak.

"Seriously though," Touya repeated, "she's not right."

* * *

Late night flying was a good cure for nightmares, as Syaoran would be too tired to dream at the end of them. But the novelty was wearing off, and he was slowly getting stronger. The adrenaline rush was not so high, and he was not as worn out by the end. It was not long before he dreamed again, and again he dreamed of the tomb.

The man was no longer there, in these visions. Just the sarcophagus and the surrounding walls. The sarcophagus never gets opened and he could never look inside, but he always knew that the same body lay there, arms folded over the Clow Book. He would witness the passage of time, as years turned to decades into centuries. The body had long turned to dust inside, but the book was trapped with it.

_Who placed the book there?_

Sakura possessed the cards now. No one had explained to Syaoran what led to this and what this meant. Syaoran, in turn, did not dare to ask. He felt great relief, on the one hand; it seemed like everything had gone to where they belonged, but he worried about going home empty-handed when everyone expected him to bring the old tome with him. He was not looking forward to the mockery this would entail.

Not that he seemed to be going home anytime soon. Between the clothes, Ruby Moon's fawning, and his mother's silence on the matter, it seemed like he was expected to stay with Eriol for some time. Syaoran had stopped asking; it seemed fruitless, anyhow. He just wished someone would let him know what he needed to do, what they expected of him. Everyone always talked in circles, even when he asked the question directly. He was always pushing himself, doing well in school, in magic, in martial arts, but he always seemed to fall short of the main point. Or maybe the main thing kept changing, and he could not follow.

He really ought to be use to it by now, but it was so frustrating all the same.

Now the dream occupied the forefront of his mind. It was not so horrifying anymore; in the past he would wake up disturbed, particularly back when that sorcerer would open the lid and pluck the corpse out like a rag doll, and then the Clow Cards would flail madly in the chambers, as if something had twisted them. Now, the tomb was quiet, and it really seemed so peaceful; centuries upon centuries of silence and stillness.

"I think I might die soon" he told Spinel, who was reading, as usual.

Sometimes it was easy to talk to Spinel, because the sun guardian usually did not pay attention. He found Syaoran boring, and though Ruby Moon was usually successful in dragging him out into the night, most of the time Spinel did not care to really talk to Syaoran at all. He never asked Syaoran how he was doing, and though he was not quite cold, his usual apathy meant that Syaoran rarely felt the need to talk to him either. But an admission like this felt like something that needed to come out, and Syaoran was not as good at keeping things close to his chest as he once was. Things have a way of spilling out, whether in tears or tantrums, and his only options were whom to spill toward. Spinel was the safest precisely because he did not care; he would not shower Syaoran with false platitudes like Ruby, or force him to break down his statement like Eriol or Kaho, or react with more horror than necessary like Sakura. Even if he did hear, Spinel would hardly find what Syaoran said worthy of much debate.

"Hm," the cat hummed, paws on the paper. "Wouldn't know."

"I don't usually have premonitions," Syaoran went on. "but it's just…I'm seeing it all the time now."

"Mm."

"I'm always in a tomb. Except this time nothing happens, for years and years and years. No one visits. Well, I guess no one would visit inside a tomb. I never go out."

"Mmhmm."

"I don't want to die, though. I want to  _be_ someone before I go."

"Hm."

"But I guess I'm alright with it, as long as it's better than last time."

There was one pleasant memory with the Kikutake; towards the end, when Syaoran started losing awareness, and his skin and eyes were parched, and his stomach was all tangled up, everything started feeling faint and  _light_ , as if nothing mattered. Not moving, not the hunger or thirst, not the pain in his bones. Everything felt departed from him. It would not be a bad way to go, he mused, though he could do without the stuff from before.

If the  _ounusa_ were less painful, less violating, he would have been alright with it.

That evening, Syaoran went flying again; he did not really want to, but Ruby Moon was the only being that seemed to genuinely like him, and she was pretty put out when he initially refused. He could not summon the joy he experienced from the first flight though. Part of it was relying on Ruby Moon all the time; she kept doing her own twists and turns that made Syaoran airsick. She finally relented when he told her he was in danger of actually throwing up; Ruby did not want to mess her clothes, naturally. They landed on a high roof overlooking the city while Syaoran caught his breath.

" _Onee-chan_ , why did  _Eriol-san_ take me in? Did  _Mama_ tell him to?"

"I don't know," Ruby replied. " _Eriol-sama_ swore an oath. Not to take you in but just that if anyone hurt you, there will be hell to pay, things like that."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, he sometimes does things like that," Ruby shrugged. "To show your mother, I suppose."

"My  _mother?_ "

"When we visited Hong Kong," the guardian clarified. "He wanted to know what was up, so we went to the Li clan to see if there was anything they knew. Your clan stinks, by the way. I hope the Chinese in general are better than that."

Syaoran had no idea what to say.

"Did Mizuki tell him to do it?" he asked instead.

"Oh  _iie_ ; definitely not. She was as surprised as the rest of us.  _Eriol-sama_ never intended to do anything in Tomoeda other than see the Clow Cards safely passed on and split his magic to his other half. He was certain the cards were going to go to the Kinomoto girl at first, you know. Said Clow had seen a little girl in a vision. Of course then you passed the Final Judgment and then everything went sideways.

Syaoran considered this. "So Sakura _was_  supposedto have the cards?"

Ruby shrugged.

"Why even have the Final Judgment if she's supposed to have them anyway?"

"Foal's got to stand, chick's got to hatch. Besides, believe it or not, Clow's not omniscient. He only  _seems_ that way."

"Did Eriol ever tell you what he intends to do?"

"About what?"

"About me."

" _Iie._ Why? What are you worried about?"

Syaoran sighed.

"We'll take good care of you. Have I not been good to you?"

"Of course you have," Syaoran said readily.

Ruby Moon nudged him. "See?"

"But you had no reason to take me in, though," Syaoran pointed out. "You didn't even know me."

" _Eriol-sama_ has an eye for such things," Ruby said knowingly.

 _Was he the one that made the tomb, then?_ Syaoran wondered,  _or was the tomb already there?_

He knew better than to ask this aloud though. Ruby would not offer any meaningful insights, and she might tell this to Eriol and Kaho, and…

_Why are you hiding this from them in the first place?_

Syaoran did not know.

"Ready to go again?" the guardian asked him.

Not quite, but Syaoran could tell she was getting fidgety. "Let's go home?"

"Ugh," Ruby sighed, " _Fine._ Only because it's close to your bedtime."


	15. Insights from Without

James Cooper, a former classmate and school friend of Eriol's, suddenly called one morning to announce he was in the area.

 _"I didn't realize you were here until I was boarding the plane to Tokyo,"_ he explained,  _"Mary sent me a last-minute text. I'm here until next Thursday, and Tomoeda's close by. Is there a train there or…? We should meet for dinner!"_

James, unlike Watson, was someone Eriol trusted implicitly, and he was delighted that the man was here. He had been considering calling someone to discuss everything that happened, and the man's arrival felt a little bit like something out of fate.

"You should stop by," he announced. "I have a mansion, courtesy of Reed. You can come and sit for a while, even sleep over, if you like."

_"Oh, I wouldn't trouble you this way; besides, I've already booked the hotel here, but I would love to see this mansion of yours. Clow Reed's time had mansions? How did it not get dismantled or shaken down by the crazy number of earthquakes you people get?"_

"Magic."

James laughed loudly.  _"Touché! Well, what time is good for you? I need to go to the convention this afternoon and tomorrow morning, but otherwise I'm free."_

It was decided that he would come over after the convention the next morning. Eriol informed Kaho and Syaoran of this during lunch.

"James Cooper?" Kaho murmured. "He must be a decent man, for you to invite him into your home."

"He's one of my best friends," Eriol replied. "We use to get up to such mischief, back in the day. I was his best man three years ago. He still hasn't forgiven me for my speech."

Syaoran looked worried, so Eriol added, "He's a powerful sorcerer and a good man, might know something about everything that's going on. He doesn't network quite as well as Watson, but he can be trusted with more information. I should like for him to meet you as well, Xiaolang. It would be good for the two of you to know one another. Also he would  _really_ get on my case if I neglected to tell him about Syaoran here."

James arrived the following afternoon, cheerfully grasping Eriol's arm and bowing to Kaho, who was instantly charmed. He lived in Canada, so Kaho had not met him when she had been studying abroad. A tall, strapping man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, he was quite the ladies man in his uni years, and had the sweeping charisma that would loop anyone into his spell.

Syaoran glared at him in mistrust. He was overwhelmed, Eriol saw. James had a bit of a strong personality, though he was quite amiable, so it did not cost him most of the time. Syaoran was anxious and insecure, and did not know what to make of this man. It did not help that most of the interaction was conducted in English, something Syaoran could understand but not without a little bit of struggling.

"Who is this?" James asked.

"This is my ward, Syaoran Li." Eriol rested his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Xiaolang, this is James."

Syaoran did not say anything.

"A ward, huh?" James looked at the boy. "He has a good face. This is quite a handsome child."

It was a rather odd thing to say, particularly for a Western sorcerer.  _He's noted something, then._ James was not as strong in magic as Eriol, though he was still respectable. His true talent, however, were in the cerebral practices of magic: reading auras, reading the makeup of magical items, reading the stars. Things that required active interpretation, as opposed to passive sensing. Eriol never had the patience for that, because he was so powerful and never needed to bother. James, on the other hand, relied more on such intellectual studies.

Eriol set that thought for later.

"Well, pleasure to meet you, young man! Does he understand English?"

"A little bit." Eriol had, of course, conversed with him entirely in English at one point. Syaoran had responded in Japanese, but his answers had demonstrated adequate comprehension. "He's shy."

Syaoran scrunched up his nose, but did not deny this.

"Syaoran, why don't you help Kaho get some tea brewing. James is of fine British breed and we would be remiss if we don't serve him some tea."

"Oh, Eriol, you spoil me."

Syaoran silently left, with Kaho following behind.

"What an odd kid," James muttered in a quieter voice as the two of them sat down. "Where'd you find him?"

"He's a member of the Li clan," and Eriol used this opportunity to give a quick summary. "Came out of nowhere, interfered with the prophecy. Won the Clow Cards and then was captured by a bunch of psychopaths here. They tortured him for five days. He still has nightmares at night. He's gone through a lot."

"Jesus," James exclaimed. "He's the Card Master, then?"

"Officially," said Eriol, "though there are other issues. I'd like to discuss them with you, if you don't mind."

"Of course."

"He's a good child," Eriol shook his head, "but he's had a hard life. Wasn't fated, supposedly. Father died early to pay the price. His clan's been eyeing him like a freak ever since, and his own mother keeps him at arm's length in order to protect him from attention. Then coming here, all alone, capturing the Clow Cards, only to be kidnapped—he was in the hospital for weeks. If we had been any later, he could have died."

"Jesus," James repeated. "The Li clan's really been something lately. Did you hear about the Oracle?"

"I heard."

"What is the world coming to? But I guess you got the boy out."

"For now."

"What? What does that mean?"

"He has a mother, and his mother loves him. I can't just snatch him away without cause. He's in my hands until it's safe for him to go home."

"Doesn't sound like it'll  _ever_ be safe for him to go home. I don't know what they're teaching their kids these days. Murdering others, sounds like. If you want what's best for him, you should probably just keep him."

Eriol snorted. Trust James to see the point and get right to it. "Won't make that decision now. What concerns me is his magic. He's got a reservoir of magic that he can't access. And he was able to cast spells without…magic, but only under extreme distress."

"What now?"

Eriol explained what had happened the day Syaoran went to the eye doctor.

"Good heavens, Eriol. You got yourself quite a puzzle. Well I'll be."

"Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

"Never! And this reservoir of magic, I didn't sense such a thing earlier."

"Neither do I, to be honest, though you were always better at reading auras than I."

"If they're not hiding, or suppressed."

Syaoran and Kaho came back at this time, bearing a tray. Syaoran was carrying biscuits, while Kaho carried the tea set.

"If it's there," James went on, "he should be able to access it. Unless someone stronger than him tied him off deliberately. Oh thank you so much, Miss Mizuki."

"Please, call me Kaho," Kaho remarked as James accepted the tea she handed to him. Eriol gestured to Syaoran for him to come over to where the two of them sat.

"Xiaolang, come let James take a closer look at you."

Syaoran visibly swallowed, but obeyed. He looked mildly irritated, but did not otherwise say anything. James leaned forward, putting his tea to the side.

"Eriol was telling me what a brave young man you are," he said kindly. Syaoran blushed and looked down. "How is Eriol when I'm not around? I'm told he's a bit of a bore."

"Hey!"

Syaoran ducked his head even more and did not reply.

"It's OK," James insisted in a stage whisper, "we love him anyway, don't we?" which made Syaoran blush all the more. "Has he been feeding you? I'm told you've been ill. He's a bit of an idiot so you can tell me if he's messed up."

Syaoran chanced a glance at Eriol, who was trying very hard to look miffed, and utterly failing. The child looked absolutely bemused.

"Is it alright if I look at his aura?" James asked.

"Xiaolang, is it alright if James has a look?"

Syaoran looked uncertain, but when James raised a hand to beckon, the boy obediently stepped closer. James touched his index and middle finger to the child's forehead, and his leafy green aura flared out as a result. Startled, Syaoran flinched away, and turned very pale.

"Whoa whoa whoa," James exclaimed, instantly withdrawing. "Hey, I wasn't going to hurt you. Hey," for Syaoran's face was contorting, and his eyes were welling up with tears.

Eriol swore. How could he have overlooked this? "Xiaolang," he shot to his feet and wrapped an arm around the boy. "It's alright, Xiaolang. I'm here. He's not hurting you. You're alright."

" _Iie_ ," Syaoran was cringing back. Eriol had to hug him tighter so he did not back away.

"He's not doing anything with your magic, he's just looking at it."

Syaoran shook his head. " _Iie,_ " he exclaimed again.

"It's fine," James insisted. "I got a quick impression. I still don't see this reservoir you're talking about, nor do I sense any manipulation. He seems like your typical moon magician."

"He does, doesn't he?" Eriol turned to guide the boy to a chair, but James stopped him.

"Wait a moment, I just want to take a look at his eyes."

"His eyes?" Eriol held Syaoran in place when the boy made to pull away.

" _Iie,_ " Syaoran said again, but James was already rising, and then crouching down before the boy.

"It's alright, I won't touch your aura again," James promised. Syaoran still cringed back more against Eriol, before grabbing onto the hems of Eriol's shirt and squeezing tight. James kept his hands in view but relaxed, draped over his knees instead of summoning the boy's aura as he did before.

"He's bonded to something through his right eye. Is it the Clow Cards?"

Eriol frowned. "He shouldn't be. Not anymore. Is he really?"

"He's bonded to something. There's a light hint of it. I only recognize it because I've seen it before. Hey," he reached out this time to take one of Syaoran's hands. "I'm sorry, little one. Those kidnappers," he looked at Eriol, "What did they do to him?"

"I don't know exactly what they did," Eriol admitted, "but they had a staff that could extract magic. They forced his out of him for many days. Doubt he appreciates any kind of manipulation. That was my fault; I don't normally link aura-reading with that sort of thing, but I should have thought of it."

James swore under his breath. "I've heard of this," he exclaimed, still holding Syaoran's hand. "The Nazis did this too. Rotten scum. Didn't figure that sort of practice is still around. And the prisoners don't last long.  _Days_ , you said?"

Eriol nodded solemnly.

James turned Syaoran's hand over, but the boy was reaching the limits of his courage.

" _Eriol-san_ ," he pleaded.

"OK," Eriol reached out, and James let the hand go. "He's had enough. You did well." Eriol rubbed the back of the boy's head before letting him go. Syaoran instantly left the room—seeking Ruby Moon, no doubt.

 _Well,_ Eriol thought, feeling rather disgusted with himself,  _I did not handle that one well at all._

"He is something," James said after a moment. "I don't know what. I don't recognize it. But he's different. I can understand why he might give someone pause, though, particularly if he's capable of what you described."

Eriol sighed, sitting down. James also plopped down, leaning back to look at the ceiling.

"You mentioned his face," Eriol reminded him. "What did you see?"

"Oh," James frowned a little. "To be honest, it's not really his face that caught my attention first. His aura is very…fair. I looked at him next and his face was very fair too. Not…fair as in light-coloured, but…there is a grace to it."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, just what he once was, just like what you once were."

"Which is…?"

James paused for a moment. "Not really sure, but then I don't know all that exists between Heaven and Earth."

He did not want to say it. Eriol scowled.

"Is it relevant?" he asked.

"Might not be."

Eriol looked away. "He's been tormented by his potential past ever since he was born. Would be nice if I could put an end to that."  _Come, James, given what we are to each other, please, out with it._

James looked solemn. "He looks like something from high up," he said vaguely, "but given what he's been through, I don't think he's here for a happy reason."

Eriol looked at him. "He doesn't have an evil bone in his body," he whispered, echoing Li Yelan's insistence.

"That's not the only kind of unhappy reason. I can't predict what the dynamics might be up there. I don't even know what the dynamics are  _down there_. And I mentioned that more because of what he's been through, not because of what I saw or felt. He wasn't destined. That means he's not supposed to be here. Some rule got broken up there, and that's _very_ odd. He looks like a very kindhearted child; his eyes are very warm and his magic is very light and pure, even cleansing, so I don't really think you need to worry about  _him_ , per say. The trouble is what might follow him."

Eriol did not know whether to be reassured or alarmed.

"His father died earlier than he was supposed to, and a number of other calamities affected others in his clan."

"Well he broke the rules. He existed when he wasn't supposed to. Doesn't matter how high up you are, conservation of matter and energy. But," James sighed, "those from higher up don't tend to do this. That's what's so confusing. They're… _good_. They have the power to choose, even more so than Clow Reed, who was able to choose when he comes back and even bring his memories and powers with him. They wouldn't choose a course of action that might harm innocents this way. So I'm…really not sure."

"But you're sure about him being from…high up?"

"Well, I can't be completely sure. There's always a chance that something can mimic but I've never heard of it. Unless it's yet another rule that he's breaking, but his aura's his aura too, and he is what he is. That part, at least, is consistent, so……"

Eriol rubbed his chin. He was not sure what to do with this. 

"Mate," James suddenly expelled, "you always find ways to make me worry about you. I thought the biggest conversation topic we were going to have was about your Clow Cards, but now you've got this kid who breaks some fundamental rules of magic and fate—you really know how to escalate things, Eriol."

" _I'm_ fine," Eriol growled. "It's the boy. I hate that he got hurt, under  _my_ watch. Oh, and speaking of which, the people that hurt him," and he related what happened, as well as Beatrice Lamb and her associate. He spoke of Syaoran's recurring dream, as well as his own version. James listened with a solemn expression.

"Well, I don't know about the vision, that's not really my forté. I can help you with Lamb though. Have an ask around. If she's really involved with vermin like the Kikutake, we can crack down on it. I have to go back to Ontario after the convention, but if you hold out I can come back and help you out with this mess. Speaking of messes, what _is_ going on with the Clow Cards?"

"They are stable, for now. So far the Kikutake are the only ones that attempted to steal them."

"There  _will_ be more," James warned. "I'm surprised you haven't had more encounters, though they're probably also trying to sneak around each other. The good news is, the more powerful sorcerers wouldn't be interested in a deck of cards that is liable to be stolen, so you only have to deal with the twits that aren't that strong but just powerful enough to think they can get away with it. It might behoove you to move them from Tomoeda, maybe take the boy with you to London. It would get the boy out of a hot zone and confuse everyone as well."

Eriol exhaled forcefully at this.

"Complicated?" James guessed.

"Can't leave yet."

"The guardians have lives here," Kaho amended.

James sighed at this. "Your guardians are  _amazing_ , Eriol, but times like these I really wish you made them less…what's the word, sentient?"

"There's yet another story going on there." Eriol dropped his head into his hands.

"Good heavens," James leaned back, "well, I'm all ears."

* * *

Syaoran was not a little bit miffed at this James Cooper, and a little bit with Eriol. He was glad to see the man go, though he took his sweet time. They had to eat an early supper together, where Eriol and James laughed about old times and university antics. Kaho and the guardians seemed to enjoy this, but Syaoran really just wanted to leave the table. Afterwards, James stayed for a few more hours, much to Syaoran's chagrin, though he was thankfully allowed to retreat to his room with Ruby, who was reading girly manga, but at the end of the night, James bid everyone farewell, and Syaoran had to say goodbye to him personally.

"What a good kid," he declared, which Syaoran was not amused by; he had done nothing but glare at the man, so he was certain Cooper was only saying this to look charming. He reached a hand out for Syaoran to shake, which Syaoran reluctantly took, but the man did not let go when he should, which Syaoran was  _really_ not amused by. "You're going to be just fine. If anyone gives you trouble, let Eriol know, and I'm always at your service."

_Ha. Right._

Eriol seemed to be in good spirits, though, and confirmed with Cooper that they would meet again; Syaoran hoped he did not have to be present. After Cooper finally departed, Eriol turned to Syaoran, rubbing his upper arm.

" _Gomen nasai_ , Xiaolang. He wouldn't have hurt you. I was right there. If he tried, I would have torn him limb from limb, but he's not that kind of man. It was my fault. I should have considered your feelings. You had less reason to trust him than I do."

Syaoran did not know what to say.

The following morning, he asked the question Syaoran had been avoiding.

"You're apparently still bonded to the Clow Cards, somehow," he said between sips of orange juice. "Might be to your other magic, but regardless, we need to make a decision about what to do. Sakura has been holding onto them for you, but we shouldn't make her do it for too long without an answer. It doesn't even have to be now, if you're not ready; just, what you ultimately want to do."

Syaoran stared at him, a little thrown by the question.

"I don't know," he said at last.

"It's fine either way," Eriol told him. "I'd be pleased in either situation. Kaho and I will support you regardless."

Syaoran stared down at his plate.

"You should give it some thought, that's all."

"Would it be easier if Sakura kept them?"

"Easier for whom?"

Syaoran looked down.

"Sakura will do well either way. I will take care of you either way. This will not change." Eriol took a bite of toast. "You don't have to give an answer right this minute. I just want you to think about it. It's not often that we have a choice," he looked ahead for a moment. "So many things get decided for us ahead of time. It's nice when we do get to decide. And I honestly think you will do well no matter what. It's just whether you want to be Card Master or not. What do you want to be?"

Syaoran use to think he knew. Now he was not sure he ever did.

" _Mama_ expects me to go home with the cards," he said quietly. "If I go back to Hong Kong without them…I don't know if they'd let me back."

"Hm," there was a tinge of rage to Eriol's aura, though his expression remained placid. "And yet you hesitated before. Why?"

Syaoran looked down. "They didn't want me. They have people that they love, here, and I…I'm not one of them, and I didn't want to tear them from…I didn't…"

_I didn't mean to ruin their plans._

Eriol took another bite of his toast and chewed in thought. "Have the guardians talked to you about this?"

" _…Iie._ "

"Hm," Eriol said again. "They've visited you a number of times by now."

Syaoran was silent.

"I'll have a word with them," Eriol took a napkin to wipe his mouth. "It wouldn't be worthwhile, I think, if you and your guardians do not trust each other. It's not fair to either of you. But I think you should reach some kind of understanding. At least part on better terms, if that is what you choose."

After the disastrous meeting with Sakura and her brother in company, Syaoran was pretty certain he did not want to see the guardians again, but he kept his silence.

"I think you should talk to them first, Eriol," Kaho advised.

"I will," Eriol agreed. "It's high time I spoke to them personally on many matters. We have a number of issues to address. Yue especially. Clow Reed…" he sighed again. "Looking back, I would have done things differently."

"If I take the cards back," Syaoran suddenly asked, "will I be able to go home?"

Eriol and Kaho looked at him. They both looked sad. Syaoran felt a swell of fear.

"I'm not going home, am I?"

"Your mother wants you back—"

"She keeps saying that and you keep saying that but that doesn't mean I will go home." Syaoran glared.

" _Gomen nasai,_ Xiaolang," Eriol said softly. "You've been very brave. I promise you, as soon it's safe for you to go back, your mother will be snatching you away from me without even a 'by your leave'. As of right now, though, even if you do take the cards, I don't think going back would be a good idea."

Syaoran suddenly slammed his chopsticks down on the table and scooted back. The motion surprised even himself; he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, as if his body were not his own— _and the magic would well up and out of him and he would expel it, despite his brain screaming in denial, as if his body were an instrument that others could just play and he was helpless underneath—_ he was suddenly so frightened, his vision almost whited out. He had no idea what lied in his future. He missed his mother and sisters terribly and wanted with all his heart to leave Japan and go back to Hong Kong, but he could not tell if they even wanted him back. Eriol took good care of him, seemed to like him, as did Kaho, but none of their efforts had the power his mother had, of eliminating a problem simply by telling Syaoran that everything is fine. He felt like he had shattered and then roughly pieced back together but it all fit wrong, and no one here could tell him if he was actually wrong. His mother would know but she was not here and never made any promises over the phone.

He was somehow upstairs, despite not recalling how he got there. In the mirror across the hall, he saw his own reflection; he looked furious, as if he were about to explode. Tears stung at his eyes, and he wanted to break something or scream or both and it took all of his will to hold himself in check because he was under someone else's roof and his mother did not want him no one wanted him—

Kaho's arms suddenly surrounded him. "Come here, baby," she murmured. "Everything will be alright."

He did not feel alright, but the hug centered him somewhat, and he felt anchored, somewhat. He hugged her back. She was not his mother, but her gentle affection felt motherly, and Syaoran dearly needed that.

"What do I have to do for her to want me back?" he whispered plaintively

"She wants you, Syaoran," Kaho kissed the top of his head. "She loves you just the way you are."

Syaoran shook his head. "I tried so hard." A sob shook him, and then he could not stop sobbing. "I-I tr-tried to get away b-b-but I wasn't strong enough—I begged them t-t-to stop—was that wrong? I didn't know what to  _do—_ " and then he keened and could not speak anymore.

"Baby," Kaho whispered, and pulled his head close against her, "you did exactly what you needed to do. You  _survived._ "

* * *

Yukito was so tired that he had to miss part of the prep course. He left class in the middle of the morning to head out, under the heavy sun. There was a gnawing emptiness in him like hunger, but food could not reach. He felt sleepy and lightheaded and fatigued, and after taking a few steps, he was compelled to find a bench on the sidewalk to sit down and rest for a bit.

It had been getting worse. He was barely able to concentrate this past week, and though Kero would frequently stop by out of concern, nothing seemed to help. Sakura's magic was just not mature enough. Yue needed another source. Touya would often look at him in worry, but the boy did not know how to save him, and Yue could not bear to tell him. He could not ask that of the teen.

If this kept going, Yue would fade, and Yukito would fade along with him.

_Perhaps that is not so bad._

Yue had lived a long long time. Perhaps nothing was meant to live so long. And the notion that he would have to live through more deaths of different masters made the future look foreboding. When Yue looked ahead, he saw nothing but heartbreak after heartbreak, as he was doomed to come to love those who were destined to leave him and move on.

At one point, Yue thought he could just mourn Clow, and close his heart to all sentiment thereafter, but then Yukito met Touya, and the two of them just…were. Yukito had gravitated naturally to Touya, and preferred the boy's company over even solitude. There was nothing Yue could do to change that, but the guardian admittedly did not try, had not thought much of it. But now, faced with his own looming death, Yue mused that very likely he would have had to go through the same process with Touya and Sakura, except it would be even worse, because neither Kinomoto sibling had the power to prolong their lives the way Clow Reed had, nor would they have held on to Clow's memories and magic in their reincarnations. Their time together would have been even briefer, and then Yue would have to live for eternity with only those sparse memories.

Perhaps it was a good thing he was fading after all.

"Deep in thought?"

This was said in old Chinese. Yukito turned to the side to behold Hiiragizawa, dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, wearing a baseball cap. The teen's mouth fell open and he blinked stupidly.

Hiiragizawa smiled. "Yue," he called softly, "I wish to speak with you."

Yue had no strength left, but he could not refuse Clow's command, even one displaced in time and life. He blinked under the sunlight, his true form like a heavy weight over his bones, his wings drifting downward. It took a moment for him to remember that he should have scanned the area for witnesses before transforming, but there was no one around, not even cars.

Hiiragizawa flicked his hand, and the air around them pulsed.

"Thought we should have a talk, you and I," said the sorcerer. "I've put it off for too long. Sit with me, Yue."

Yue sat, but did not look at him.  _Clow_.

"How are you doing, Yue?"

He did not reply.

Hiiragizawa looked at him. "You are angry with me? Seems like everyone is. Very well. I'll talk, and you can listen."

He looked ahead, onto the street, and for a moment was quiet, as if gathering his thoughts.

"First," said the sorcerer, "I want to tell you that I am sorry."

The wind blew, rustling the trees. A few of them floated down. One hit Yue on the forehead and past his eyelashes. He did not even blink. 

"Clow Reed had considered you his child. You, Cerberus, were both akin to his own children. But you weren't. Children grow, change, and go through the same things their parents do. That was never part of your design. He lived through the death of his own parents and thought you could bear his. He did not realize that you would take it so hard. That was his—my first failing. Then, I came to you in this life, knowing full well that you have grieved, and chose to set you aside for Li Xiaolang. That was not my intention. I know you feel forsaken. That is my second failing."

Yue wanted to tell Hiiragizawa that he was not quite so needy, but the words refused to pass through his lips.

"I am not Clow Reed," Hiiragizawa said to him. "I bear his memories but I do not feel as if I lived his life. When I open my eyes I do not see the streets of Alexandria or the temples of Chang'an. I see helicopters hovering and large electronic billboard signs. I carry my own set of memories and perspectives. I have my own likes and dislikes, my own aspirations and fears. So I did not want you to be confused, and think you can find Clow Reed again in me. Clow Reed is dead, as he intended. I am Hiiragizawa Eriol. But I did not conduct myself well. I let both you and Cerberus down. I just wanted you to know that I did not intend for you two to feel forgotten and dismissed."

Yue looked away.

"Clow loved you  _very much_. He would have been proud to see you as you are. Yesterday an old friend of mine came over to visit. He was pretty awestruck by you and Cerberus, how the two of you made new lives and new identities for yourselves. That's…not something even Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun are capable of."

Yue looked at him then.

"Li Xiaolang," said the guardian. Ruby Moon had been parading her bond with the boy, but Touya had been convinced she did not have his best interests at heart. Was this something Hiiragizawa was aware of?

Hiiragizawa gave him a keen look. "We can talk about him, but right now I want to talk about you. Do you have any questions? Is there anything you need? Though I am not Clow Reed, you will always have an ally in me. You can come to me if you ever require help, or just someone to talk to."

"I have someone to talk to. If that ever changes, I will keep you in mind, but the boy, Hiiragizawa. Do not lie to me. You are here because of that child, not because of my feelings."

"They are not mutually exclusive," said Hiiragizawa.

Yue looked away again. "You use to give me straight answers. When did that change? Were you disappointed in me, even then?"

"No!" Hiiragizawa whispered, sounding truly horrified. "Clow was never disappointed in you, Yue. There were simply many things he could not bear to say. Something you might not have understood…toward the end of his days, Clow was not a happy man. He had done many things in his life to get where he did, not all of them good. He had great power, and often used it. He did not always use it the right way, and as the years progressed he had more and more regrets, and saw a future where they kept compiling. He always looked to you, to Cerberus, and to his children for hope, but in the end, Clow was an immortal with only a mortal capacity, and he did not have what it took to live as long as he could. He saw a world spinning on a path he could not bear to follow; events that would corrupt goodness and lay waste to all he and his peers held dear. If he was ever dishonest with you, it was because he could not be honest with himself. Many of the things he had done haunted him to his grave and even beyond. They even haunt me. And they were not necessarily things he could have done better, or done differently, but they weighed on him all the same. Have you ever wondered why he did not pass the Clow Book to his son? It wasn't because he did not love his son, but he didn't know him. So preoccupied was he with magic and magical accomplishments, the boy grew up before Clow could even take stock. When the time came, his son had become a man Clow struggled to understand. The boy, too, did not understand his father's heart. So it was that he ultimately chose not to give such power to someone he loved, for fear of what it may do. And for all that he did love his bride, he was not the most attentive to her, engrossed as he was in the politics of that world. She died young, and at the time it was inevitable; so many people died young. But as the years advanced and technology and medicine moved forward, he began learning of all the things he could have easily done to prevent her death, if only he had _known_. Regret, my child. It's a painful beast. There comes a point where words no longer come out, but he always had faith in you, in your goodness." He reached out to touch Yue's arm. "Have you thought that all this time?"

Yue found he could not answer.

Hiiragizawa sighed. "I'm so sorry, child."

Suddenly, he squeezed the guardian's arm and remarked, "You're fading."

Yue did not reply.

"Xiaolang tells me that you haven't discussed the Clow Cards with him."

"He can barely stand the sight of me."

"He thinks you do not care about him. He thinks you do not like him."

Yue wavered. "He wasn't my favourite person."

"He was reluctant to bond with the cards because he didn't want to take you away from those that you loved."

And was that not ironic? All that time, Yue had been trying to convince the boy, convince Kerberus, that he should bond with the cards, and the entire time Li had not done so because he understood even more than the moon guardian that Yue did  _not_ want him to bond with the cards.

"You need to talk to him," Hiiragizawa went on, "because I think the two of you would be very good for each other. More so than you and Sakura, given what I've learned. But you need to approach him differently from how you would approach Clow, or even Sakura. He's regressed a lot, after the Kikutake. He is emotionally vulnerable and labile, and at times…he acts in a ridiculous manner, not because he intends to, but because he is in so much pain and cannot do otherwise." His eyes were very sad as he related this. "What had happened to him was something even an adult would have trouble coming to terms with, and he can't make sense of it. The cruelty and utter lack of compassion. It's…" he shook his head. "But even without this, he is not a superior you must serve and defer. He is a child you must protect and guide. This is something you and Cerberus need to realize: Clow Reed did not create the two of you to be servants. You two are more masters of these cards than any sorcerer can hope to be. Though you may depend on your master for your powers, you do not need to depend on their judgment. This goes for Sakura as well, and for any master that comes after. If anything, _they_  would depend more on _you_. You two have grown, Yue. You need to take your own initiative and determine your own way. You were _meant_ to forge your own road, and interact with human beings on the same level, perhaps even above. When you talk to Xiaolang, you cannot look to him for guidance on how to behave or start a conversation; he's actually looking to you. He's  _been_ looking to you. He's even more lost than you are. He stands there glaring at you," and here, Hiiragizawa looked ahead, and Yue had the impression that he was talking about 'you' in general, "looking like he's challenging you to cross him if you dare, while on the inside he is shaking like a leaf because he's terrified of you. He looks unapproachable, with his deep frown and hard scowl, because he's afraid and he thinks no one wants him and he's prepared himself preemptively for that rejection. You wrap him up in a hug and he _melts_ into you." He smiled, fond and heartbroken all at once. "I've done it. Kaho's done it. That's how Ruby Moon earned his attachment, because she's always picking him up, giving him kisses, cuddling him when he looks worried or sad, and he _wants_ that, _desperately,_ he just doesn't know how to ask for it. The angrier he looks, the more frightened he actually is. It's something he must have trained himself to do in the Li clan," he shook his head, "but the point is, you need to _give_   _him_ cues, not _read_   _his_ cues, if you ever want to have a meaningful conversation with him. You're the adult in this association, Yue. He's the one following your lead. And if he had been a strong-willed, stubborn child in the past, right now he is drinking up affection as if dying of thirst. You cannot pick a better time than now to mend any bridges."

"I am not partial to sentiment," Yue said flatly.

Hiiragizawa gave him a dry look. "You are not frivolous with your sentiment," he corrected, "but you remember how it felt, when you were scared and Clow Reed put his arms around you, how it made that fear fade away."

Thunder and lightning in the midst of a storm. The loud noises and bright flashes made Yue's heart hammer in his chest. Clow's arms around him as he shuddered, body pressed close.  _It's just a thunderstorm, don't worry. It won't hurt you._ And everything was alright, more magical than even magic in how suddenly and effortlessly that comforted him.

Hiiragizawa suddenly sat up. "Yukito," he ordered abruptly, "come back."

Yue was caught off-guard for a moment, but he transformed quickly. Hiiragizawa set his hand on Yukito's as he looked down the street.

" _Tsukishiro-san_ ," said the sorcerer, "you should go to  _Sakura-san_ now."

" _Nan desu ka?_ "

Hiiragizawa stood. "Probably nothing, but I'd like for you to be with her all the same. Keep an eye on the Clow Cards. We never know what kind of people are around us, these days." He looked at Yukito, and then sighed. "I let myself get derailed this time. We'll talk more, Yue. I'll tell you everything about Clow that you might not know; these weren't things he could have told you, because they were too close to him, but I can. You'll understand, Yue." He then turned and walked quickly away.

Yukito looked in the direction Hiiragizawa had been watching. There was a figure in a coat, which was odd because this was summer.

He sighed, feeling exhausted, and looked down the other way where the Kinomoto residence was. The journey seemed long, but…

_I guess I had better get to Sakura then._

* * *

Nakuru and Kaho went out to do woman things, and Eriol went out to do Eriol things, which left Syaoran alone in the mansion for the first time, with the exception of Spinel, who was ignoring him, as usual.

He was a little nervous at first, and took some time to find his equilibrium. Usually Ruby Moon was always around or within shouting distance. He felt logically that Spinel would be at hand to help if Syaoran actually called for him, but the sun guardian felt unreliable. For a while, Syaoran stayed only in three rooms: the kitchen, the living room, and the room he shared with Ruby. Come lunchtime, however, Syaoran felt a little better about the situation, and decided he should explore the one room he had never looked at yet: the basement.

No one went down to the basement, as far as Syaoran had witnessed. There was just never any reason to; everything they needed was above it. He had come across the door on occasion and no one specifically warned him away, but he had just never been interested until now.

For lack of anything better to do, now seemed as good a time as any.

But when he opened the door, the smell hit him; sawdust and mold, and his vision went white. He stumbled back, fell on his rump, and huddled against the opposite wall.

_No. No. No._

Hands holding him down. His neck hurt. His jaw ached. He remembered trying to pull his arm out of their sockets to get away as magic bled out of him in a steady stream. Vicious cramping, pain down in his bone marrow. He looked at the real mansion around him, tears streaming. He could see. They had blindfolded him then, but he could see now. This was real.

"This is real," he whispered, "this is real, this is real, this is real."

Should not have gone exploring, not that he went very far. A sob choked him. He was so tired of feeling this way, of feeling  _wrong._ Was he ever going to feel like himself again? He remembered he use to be eager to head out, into the Tomoeda sunshine. He use to rush into danger without second thought, because he had magic and other people did not. He once lived  _by himself_. Was this why his mother did not want to take him home? He felt like a broken toy. He never knew when something might scare him, and almost always that fright would just make him lose it. He use to handle his emotions better. He use to not be so afraid.

" _Oi_."

Syaoran inhaled sharply, hitting his head and shoulder against the wall as he twisted away from the voice, but it was Spinel Sun. The winged cat stared at him for a moment. Syaoran stared back.

"You trying to go down there?"

Syaoran looked at the door and shuddered.

"What happened? Something pop out of there?"

Syaoran shook his head, wiping his eyes. He had broken into cold sweat, and his heart was hammering in his chest. He was starting to feel lightheaded, and his lungs were beginning to tire.

" _Oi,_ " Spinel raised a paw to poke him. "Slow breaths now. What happened? Do you need me to take a look down there? If it's a rat I can kill it. I'm not going to eat it but I can kill it."

" _Iieeee_ I'm just a  _coward_ ," Syaoran grabbed his hair, closing his eyes.

Spinel nosed his nose. "Flashback?"

Syaoran nodded miserably.

He heard the sound of the door closing, and then felt Spinel settle over his chest, and lowered his hands to hug the guardian.

" _Arigatou_ ," Syaoran whispered.

Spinel just tucked his head under Syaoran's and remained silent.

After a while, Syaoran felt better; even silly about his earlier panic.  _I need to stop it._ Stop panicking at the slightest thing. Stop throwing fits like a toddler, crying like a baby at the smallest trigger.

There was no one else in the house. No Ruby Moon to lead him away again and pamper him. No Kaho to spoil him. No Eriol to distract him. Syaoran looked at the door to the basement, and all of the sudden it was not just that anymore. It was what had happened to him, that night when everything went wrong, when they rushed to the Daidouji mansion and Syaoran was dizzy from using the Clow Cards and he was grabbed, hands seizing him up and throwing him like a rag doll, the demands,  _summon the cards, boy._ Endless cycles of seizing his magic alternating with that smell of sawdust. No relief. No water except when they blasted his face and tried to drown him. No food. No hope.

 _I will face it_ , Syaoran thought, and somehow he was already on his feet. He faced the door as if it were an opponent in battle.  _Everything that went wrong with me. Is wrong with me._

No more cowering, hiding away in hugs and kisses. 

"We're really doing this?" Spinel drawled. "You sure this is a good idea? Well, OK then, but if you step on my tail when you panic I'm never babysitting again."

"Y-you can go," Syaoran loosened his hold. He could not be certain he would not do something stupid again. "I don't want to step on you wh-when…"

Spinel took one look at him and sighed. "Ugh. I think I'll stay. I guess I can live with you  _accidentally_ stepping on my tail if I survived Ruby  _intentionally_ stepping on my tail."

 _"Gomen nasai_." Syaoran felt so bad.

" _Oi_ ," Spinel paused. "This is important to you, isn't it? Well, go on then."

Syaoran stared at the door.  _Go on. Open it._

He hesitated for what felt like an eternity. Thankfully, Spinel did not push him, or else Syaoran might have lost his courage entirely. Finally, as if moving through molasses, he went and turned the doorknob. The smell hit—but he was prepared, and managed not to slam himself into the opposite wall again. He stood there trembling, trying not to panic.

Spinel bumped his head under Syaoran's chin. "You're doing great," the guardian encouraged. "Come on, just turn on the light switch."

 _Oh._ The light switch.

Syaoran turned it on, and then despite the smell, it really did seem a lot less intimidating. The walls were clearly old, but well-preserved. The steps were also well-preserved.

"You know, I've never been down there," Spinel was craning his neck. "Huh."

" _Spinel-san._ "

"I'm here."

Syaoran took a deep breath—more of the smell, and he retreated a few steps.  _Bad idea._ He should not breathe next time.

Spinel was silent.

 _You've got this._ Syaoran almost took another deep breath, but held it instead and suddenly dove down the stairs. He was at the bottom when he had to take another breath. In a blur, he slammed into a chest.

"Ow!" Spinel exclaimed. " _Oiii!_ _Daijoubu desu ka?_ "

Syaoran was hyperventilating again, and shaking badly.  _This was a bad idea this was a bad idea this was a bad idea—_ he squeezed Spinel to him and could not let go.  _No no no no no._ It was darker here; the lights only illuminated the stairs, and there were shadows stretching before him, rectangular shapes and dust on the floor, some windows above that cast even more shadows. His vision blurred as more tears welled up.

 _Move! Move, you useless piece of garbage!_ But Syaoran was frozen. Spinel was saying something to him, but there was a roar in his ears and his muscles had locked, as surely as if they had been bound.

"Spinel please help," he begged, whimpers sliding through his throat as he gasped. "Please help."

"You need to let go of me, Syaoran!"

But Syaoran could not. " _Gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai—_ please help, someone, please get me out of here—"

A pale glow flickered in the distance. Syaoran screamed and curled into a ball over Spinel, who was shouting at him, wriggling furiously in his arms. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried.  _Someone please help please help anyone please I want to go home Mama Mama Yue Keroberus anyone—_

 _"Don't cry,"_ a feminine voice called softly.  _"Please don't cry."_

Syaoran opened his eyes.

There was a girl, floating.

No, it was a ghost?

No. It was…a Clow Card?

She had long gray-brown hair, and a pair of what looked like wings on her head. She wore a long white frill dress. Her face was sorrowful, but also faintly hopeful. She hovered in the air for a moment before drifting forward.

"Please don't cry," she whispered again. "Are you lonely too?"

Syaoran's deathgrip on Spinel loosened.

"A-are you a Clow Card?" Syaoran asked softly.  _How can this be?_ All of the cards were captured.

The spirit looked at him sadly.

"All my friends are gone," she sighed, closing her eyes.

She looked so sad that Syaoran forgot his own fear.

" _Gomen nasai_ ," Syaoran whispered. "Have you been down here a long time?"

She just sighed.

"Kid," Spinel hissed, "I don't like this," but Syaoran ignored him. This creature, this being, was so desolate and despondent. He could not just  _leave_ her. He could feel her pain. It felt similar to his own.

"What's your name?"

"I have no name," she replied. "I am nothing, and nothing is what I make, what others are when I am at hand."

"Kid…"

"My name is Syaoran," Syaoran swallowed, unsure what to do with her answer other than to give his own name. "Pleased to meet you."

She looked at him. "Oh."

"It-it must be lonely down here," he looked around. The basement still looked frightening, but his courage was somehow bolstered by the presence of this…spirit. "It—I know how that feels."

"Oh." She drifted closer. "Will you stay with me?" Her countenance turned plaintive. "Will you…be my friend?"

"Kid…" Spinel warned, "wait a minute…"

"Of course," Syaoran reached one hand out, and smiled nervously at her, eager to make her happy. "I'll be your friend."

" _Matte—iie_ —"

But the spirit reached out to take his hand, and a sharp pain crashed into his left eye. His whole body felt lit up, his nerves buzzing in not-pain, but still agonizing, unbearable. He thought he might have screamed but he could not hear anything over the loud roar in his ears.

Colors, sounds, voices, words. Blood and screams, silk scarves and glowing lanterns.  _"Who is meant to have the cards?"_ _"A darling of a girl."_ His father's face, whom Syaoran had only seen in photographs. A man's voice, echoing as if through water,  _My child._ A crane in the sky. A raven cawing. The tomb, but quiet now. Eriol, kissing his forehead. Yue, extending his arms toward him, eyes wide and imploring. Kero in his true form, sprawled over a soft grass. Breakfast with his sisters. Sakura, waving a…clear card, in front of him? The sun, bright and shining in the blue sky.

_"Kid! Syaoran-san! Syaoran-san!"_

He opened his eyes. Spinel was looming over him, pushing his paw at his cheek.

 _"Kami-sama!_ _Syaoran-san!_   _Daijoubu desu ka?_ Can you hear me?"

Syaoran sat up. His left eye ached a little, but nowhere as bad as his right eye use to hurt. And he felt…empty.

"I'm alright," he told the guardian. His voice came out weaker than he expected.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Spinel yanked at his hair. "Get out of the basement, kid! I need to tell  _Eriol-sama!_ "

Syaoran managed to will his limbs to obey him, and rose to his feet. As he did, a card fluttered from his lap. He bent down to pick it up.

It  _was_ a Clow Card. And she literally was The Nothing.

"Come on!" Spinel had gone halfway up the stairs. "What are you waiting for?"

Syaoran followed after him.

* * *

 Eriol followed the figure around for a while, making sure to keep his distance. He wished he had studied aura-reading more, the way James had, because without getting closer he really could not get a good grasp of who the man was. He seemed to be alone, and he seemed to be doing some normal tasks; getting  _yen_ from the bank, buying batteries, and then getting takeout from a truck. But he was definitely not from around here, and Eriol followed mainly to imprint the signature in his mind so he could track him.

He was tall; everyone was tall, it seemed. Black haired, broad-shouldered, with hard features. Not someone Eriol would want to cross if he could help it, even if he was not strong enough to hide his aura from Eriol. Along the way, the man tellingly passed the Kinomoto residence; there was no reason for him to do so, so he was likely mapping out the area to get the Clow Cards. He never seemed to notice Eriol; that part was reassuring. Less of a threat than Kikutake Youta, though not someone Eriol wanted Sakura to face alone.

He would have kept following, but he suddenly sensed Syaoran's aura disappear.

A cold terror overtook him—did something get into the mansion? Did something happen to the boy?

Feeling almost ill with dread, Eriol rushed to the closest phone he could find: the Kinomoto residence. Yukito opened the door for him, but Eriol raced past and into the living room.

"Where's the phone?" he demanded. "I need to use it."

Cerberus floated down the stairs. " _Hiiragizawa-san?_ "

"Where's the phone?"

"It's over here," Yukito raised a hand to point. "What happened?"

Eriol quickly dialed the mansion. It rang twice, and with every ring he could feel his blood pressure start to rise. Thankfully Spinel picked up straight after.

" _Uh, moshi moshi?"_

"Where's Xiaolang?"

 _"Syaoran-san! It's Eriol-sama."_ And to his relief, he heard the receiver get transferred.

 _"Eriol-san_ ," his ward's voice filtered through, and Eriol sagged against the counter.

"Oh my god," he moaned, "please tell me you're alright."

_"I'm alright."_

"What happened? Are you seriously alright?" Kaho had told Eriol that Syaoran usually passed out when his magic was depleted. The boy was clearly talking on the phone, so that did not happen. Unless… _and he sounds a little too calm. What if this is an imposter, and Syaoran is actually dead somewhere?_  "Xiaolang?" he heard his own voice tremble.

But it was his precious Syaoran.  _"It—gomen nasai—I didn't…no one told me—_ "

"Whatever it is, it's fine." _Oh my god I can't take this._  "Just…tell me what happened."

_"I-I just—"_

_"There's a Clow Card in the basement!"_ Spinel seized the phone.  _"It went into his left eye! What the **hell** , Eriol-sama! I thought all the cards were captured! And what's the Nothing? What does it do?"_

" _Nani?_ " Eriol blinked. And then he suddenly realized what happened. "Oh."  _Sh—_ "Xiaolang, are you alright?"

 _"I—ano—"_ and then Syaoran's voice became very small.  _"Can you come home?"_

Eriol's heart warmed even as it also felt like it was breaking. "I'm coming, Xiaolang. Give me fifteen minutes. Spinel will take care of you, alright?"

_"Oh. OK."_

Eriol hung up.

Sakura had come down the stairs as well.  _"Hiiragizawa-kun?_ "

" _Sakura-san,_ " Eriol looked at her, and then went for the door. " _Gomen nasai!_ " he called without looking back, "I'll explain everything later!"

He had to make sure Syaoran was alright.

* * *

"Hi James, it's Eriol. This is kind of embarrassing but you're better at this than I am and I kind of need your help right now."

_"Sure thing. Is this about the kid?"_

"It is."

_"Well, that's kind of important. What's up?"_

"Clow Reed made fifty-three cards."

There was a pause.  _"Um…O…kay?"_

"There are fifty-two cards that exert…positive magic, but they keep building magic so he needed to balance them out. He created the final card, which is made of negative magic, in order to offset the first fifty-two."

There was another pause.  _"No way. So Clow Reed made a **joker**? Did they even _ ** _have—_** _never mind. Did this wild card hurt Syaoran?"_

"I'm…not sure," Eriol looked at Syaoran, who looked at him with wide eyes.  _God, can't this child catch a break?_ "It wasn't meant to be captured. It's supposed to stay anchored down; it's not really meant to be used. He somehow woke it, but it doesn't seem to have exerted the usual payment."

 _"Payment being?_ "

"Usually the strongest positive emotion, like…love."

_"Oh God. What was with that guy? I thought he made this deck for some ten-year-old girl!"_

"This wasn't meant to be used or captured, as I said," said Eriol. "It should have stayed inert."

_"Yeah but—alright. I'm coming over. How's the boy doing?"_

"Well, he's bonded with the card, apparently through his left eye. He…can't see anything out of that eye. And his aura's gone. I tried summoning it, but I'm not getting anything."

_"…You mean that card erased his **magic**?"_

"Which doesn't make sense," said Eriol, "because it's in its card form, which requires him to have magic to keep it in card form."

_"…Huh. OK. I'm going to get tickets; I think I can catch one of the three-o-clock trains. I should be there at around four."_

"I'll come pick you up."

" _Iie—_ " Syaoran cut himself off, but his eyes remained beseeching.

"Xiaolang and I will meet you at the station," Eriol amended. Syaoran did not look happy about this either, but he seemed reassured.

Spinel Sun also went with, and they took the bus to the train station. Sure enough, James arrived at 4:03, carrying a suitcase, likely having come straight from convention. He was dressed far more casually this time; last time he had come straight after presenting, but that was done and over with. He reached out for Syaoran first, gently ruffling his hair.

"How are you doing, young man?"

Syaoran cringed a little.

"Doesn't seem worse for wear, other than the eye."

"Nothing obvious to me," Eriol agreed.

"You can't see how many fingers I'm holding, can you?" James asked, covering Syaoran's right eye and holding up two fingers.

Syaoran shook his head.

"It's not red or anything."

"Doesn't seem to hurt either."

"Let's go somewhere where we can really do this," James suggested, and then in a lower voice, "can he handle it?"

"We'll try our best."

Syaoran did not look at James for the entire trip back. He was still anxious, and squeezed Eriol's hand in a death grip. James chattered about the convention presentations and also the options in catering.

"Did you have a dinner tonight?" Eriol asked.

"Eh. It's all optional. I only had to go for that day and the morning after; the rest of this is just me on vacation, really. I was going to explore a little more of Tokyo. That is one crazy city. Pretty wicked, though. In any case, this is far more important. Can't have the little one get hurt when he's survived so much."

They sat Syaoran down on a chair and James pulled a chair opposite him. Syaoran looked at Eriol for reassurance.

"He's going to try to summon your aura," said Eriol. "I want you to stay calm, alright? I'm right here. It won't hurt." Syaoran had tolerated Eriol's attempt, but Eriol's attempt had also failed.

Syaoran seemed to gather his resolve, and then faced James bravely.

"'Atta boy," said James, and pressed his index and middle finger to the child's forehead.

Nothing happened.

"Right, well, if you couldn't summon it, there was not much likelihood I can." James then cupped Syaoran's face gently. "Whoa. I see the bond. Left eye. What's the card again?"

Syaoran looked at Eriol, who nodded. The boy then drew the card out.

"What on earth is 'The Nothing'?"

"It's—"

"I mean, what can it  _do_?"

Eriol breathed in. "It is negative magic. It undoes magic."

"So it erases things?"

"It…it manipulates reality. Including erasing it."

James made a face and mouthed a swear at Eriol. "So what would normally happen if someone were to capture this card?"

"Well, normally nothing can touch it without getting erased, unless it's another Clow Card. And you normally have to pay the price, as I said, in order to capture it, because it's negative magic. It's always a net loss."

James mouthed the swear again. "How'd this thing get here? It was in your  _house?_ Or were you wandering around Tomoeda and came across it?" The latter was directed toward Syaoran, who looked down.

"I…"

"It was  _under_ the house," said Eriol. "It should have  _stayed_ under the house. I don't know how it got  _into_ the house, but Syaoran found it in the basement."

"Well it's definitely bonded to  _something_  in him," James reached out, then hesitated. "Mate, I don't even think I want to touch this thing. What would happen if I try to summon  _its_ aura?"

"Well, it's bonded to Syaoran, so presumably it would do whatever Syaoran tells it to do."

James looked at Syaoran gravely. "Please don't let it erase me. Or my magic. Or my love, or…whatever."

Syaoran set his jaw.

James gingerly touched the card. A pale light glowed, and then spread, like an aura. It was connected to Syaoran's eye; a bridge of light wove directly into that pupil, though it did not seem to impede the eye's movement as the boy looked around nervously. But then the light continued to spread, like unfurling a map, outlining a new aura that it merged into. Amber, hot, and bright. It kept growing, and growing, until it filled the room, and grew still more.

"Bloody hell," James breathed. "Eriol, this…"

Syaoran twisted his head around. He had never seen this before, nor felt it, for he looked just as baffled as the rest of them. The aura was  _still_ growing; it was just revealing itself, so it did nothing as it brushed past the furniture and went through the walls and floor, but it was dense, with crackling energy, all stored and ready to be used.

"Eriol, I think this is your reservoir of magic," James said.


	16. Negative Nature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I actually have no clue what is up with the Nothing and this negative magic shindig. Not sure if my interpretation is confusing (I mean, the Nothing is pretty confusing, and sort of redundant in the movie—doesn't it just do the same things as the Erase?) but they are nonetheless important when it comes to Syaoran's past and future, so…bear with me.

"Well, one positive, one negative, fifty-two and one, one that does things and one that's there, check and balance, yin and yang, female and male, and one can undo the other. Clow Cards don't disappear, one won't go crazy. Could work."

"Yes but he's bonded to the other fifty-two," Eriol pointed at Syaoran, "and she's not bonded to the one. And the guardians."

"Huh."

James and Eriol leaned side-by-side against the counter to regard the group. Sakura was sitting on the couch next to her brother. Yukito was sitting on the other side of Touya, leaning his elbow on the armrest and his head on his palm. Syaoran was sitting between Kaho and Ruby Moon on the other side, Spinel Sun on his lap. Cerberus was floating over the coffee table.

"Well why not just let her bond with that one?" James asked.

"Well she'd have to pay the price," said Eriol. "And she doesn't have an extra reservoir of magic."

James stared at Syaoran. "His moon magic has got to be there. It's through his left eye—that's affiliated with the moon."

"Right, that's the other thing: why would the cards do that? They choose the most complicated path."

"Might be how he's wired. It kind of explains what's going on. Regular Clow Cards bond through his right eye and attach to the amber."

"But they use his moon magic. That's the aura that gets depleted."

"Well then this one goes through his left eye and attaches to the green. Might mean that it uses his sun magic. It actually does make sense if you think about it; that amber magic doesn't really exist and you have a card that messes with reality so it uses unreal magic."

"But it does exist."

"Once he bonded with it."

Eriol and James considered Syaoran in silence.

"What's going on?" Touya asked, because the two of them had been conversing in English.

"Syaoran has a very dangerous card," Eriol replied, "and we don't know what it's doing, or will do."

"Are any of these cards  _not_ dangerous?" Touya pointed out.

"They are bullets to his nuclear bomb."

Silence.

"I don't feel any different," Syaoran chimed in. "I don't think it took anything away."

"You can't cast spells anymore," Eriol pointed out. "And you also are pretty much blind in that left eye.

"Well…" Syaoran wavered.

He actually seemed relatively unbothered by this, for some reason. He was also wide awake and alert, which was different from when he use to pass out from depletion in the past. Considering how labile Syaoran's anxiety levels could be, it was strange that he was so calm.

"Do you feel your magic somewhere, Xiaolang?"

Syaoran ducked his head. " _Hai_."

"What's he saying?" James asked.

"He doesn't feel like his magic's gone."

"Well I guess he's right, I mean he's got a whop-load of magic sitting there."

"But it's not the magic he can access."

"Maybe he can access it with the Nothing?"

Eriol did not want to try it.

"So what are we doing?" Touya asked, having caught absolutely nothing of the discussion between the two English-speakers.

"You know maybe he's not balanced," James folded his arms and shifted so he was leaning sideways, ignoring the teen, partially because he also could not understand Japanese. "I think without the Clow Cards, he was. He had the moon magic that he uses and the other magic for…whatever. Maybe to churn out a steady supply of moon magic? Then the Clow Cards bond with him and he had trouble with them because they're positive magic and maybe that…didn't react well with him. They made his eye hurt but I guess he could still see out of that eye? Then you take those cards away, this one bonds and they don't make his eye hurt but they make him blind. And moon magic comes from somewhere, right? It doesn't generate its own energy."

"That's not quite how it works in humans, though."

"But moon reflects sunlight and very likely he's always held steady because of the amber," James stated. "Hmph. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think this might all settle down if he just bonds with all of the cards."

"It can. Or he could end up with one blind eye and one painful eye, and no usable magic. And I wasn't able to break the bond between him and the Clow Cards the first time, so trying to undo this would probably not be so clean either."

"Well we can either take a chance or we can leave him like this," said James. "Unless you're willing to try to break the bond between your ward and your nuke card. I'm certainly not."

Eriol hesitated.

"What's happening?" Sakura asked.

Eriol explained the situation to their Japanese audience.

"I don't follow," Cerberus said flatly.

"This is what _James-san_ thinks, and I don't know if I agree yet," Eriol took out a piece of paper and drew two circles. " _Syaoran-kun_ actually possesses two separate stores of magic. One is moon magic, which he uses and composes his aura. The other is…we're pretty sure it's sun magic. It's not something we can normally detect, nor can _Syaoran-kun_ even use, but we know it's there because he is able to sustain spells for far longer than his moon magic should supply. The Clow Cards are all in the category of positive magic. They are…" he considered the more exact explanation, before deciding that this crowd might not be too thrilled with it. "They are matter. The Nothing is anti-matter, which Clow had created to balance the other Clow Cards so they can remain usable. It wasn't meant to be captured or used; it was meant to just be there. Tellingly, when _Syaoran-kun_ bonded with the positive cards, they bonded through his right eye—the eye affiliated with the sun. We never saw any hint of his sun magic otherwise. When he used the cards, they depleted his moon magic. He also had significant eye pain, but his vision was not affected. Now he's bonded somehow to the Nothing. It bonded with his  _left_ eye, the eye normally affiliated with the moon. We can't see his normal aura anymore, but we do see his sun magic now. He also can't cast his regular spells that normally use moon magic. His eye does not hurt, but the vision is gone. _James-san_ thinks if we have him bond with all of the Clow Cards…"

"He might be able to use both," Kaho murmured.

"But can he even use his sun magic?" Sakura asked. "Has he tried using the Nothing?"

"You don't want him to try," Spinel said dryly. "That card exacts a price in order to be used, on top of being strong enough to destroy the universe as we know it. There's a reason that card wasn't meant to be used."

Eriol tapped his pen against his chin. He looked up at Kaho. "What do you think?"

Her lip curled, but she looked unhappy. "I don't like it."

"I guess you can just leave him as he is," said James. "He doesn't seem to be too distressed."

Eriol studied Syaoran.  _Why **is**_ _he so calm?_

"How do you feel, Xiaolang?"

Syaoran shrugged.

"Did it hurt when the Nothing bonded with you?"

He shook his head.

"Did you have any visions?" Yukito asked, raising his head.

Syaoran was tellingly still.

"You had visions?" Eriol frowned.

Syaoran cringed a little. "They were better than the other one."

"…What other one?"

Syaoran pointed at Sakura's Clow Book. "When I bonded with them."

"What did you see?" Kaho asked.

"Well, with them I saw the cards get ruined," Syaoran stared. "With  _her_ I…it…was nicer. But—it could have been because of…of…" he turned pale, and swallowed. "…they had wanted the cards, and if they got them they would ruin them, just like they ruined me. But that didn't happen, so…"

"What's going on?" James asked.

Eriol translated.

Touya then inserted, "Well if he does bond with the Clow Cards and it doesn't work, can't we just remove the bond like we did before? He'd be back to where he is, right?"

The group was silent.

"This isn't something we should rush," Eriol said lowly.

James ducked his head. "It's not something you should postpone if you can help it."

"Well right now we're just guessing."

"We can't do much more than guess, though."

"Well then how are we supposed to choose?"

"I don't know."

"There  _must_ be something," Eriol sighed in frustration. "Something about his past, where he came from. Or something in these visions. The tomb. If his aura's not telling us and even Chinese seers don't know—just what are we supposed to do now?"

"Care to enlighten the rest of us?" Touya demanded, but the two English-speakers ignored him.

"You said that he activates some magic-less magic when he's upset. He now has a nuke card that's bonded to this magic that we never sensed before, but we are sensing now and he's got _a lot_ of it! This nuke card also happens to be something that balances positive cards, which means without the positive cards, it's not balanced! He's alright now but do we really want to see what happens if he gets upset again?"

Eriol groaned.

"The more I think about it," James went on, "the more I think it makes sense and the more I'm  _not_ OK with us sitting on a potentially ticking bomb."

"He's already gone through  _too bloody much_ and I can't stand having to put him through an  _experiment—_ "

"He's got you and me and Kaho, mainly you, we're all in this room, and he's got the Clow guardians who are supposed to  _protect_ the Card Master—"

"Which they _couldn't_ do—" and Eriol ignored the flinch from Yukito and Kero.

"But they were up against a group that even  _you_ had trouble with—"

"Well who knows if this one might be too much for all of us—"

"We're not doing this," Kaho interrupted.

Both Eriol and James looked at her.

"We need more information," she continued, and looped an arm around Syaoran protectively. "He's not in pain right now, he's not upset, and the Nothing is actually inert like it's supposed to be. I don't want to risk upsetting this calm by some fancy magical theories and assumptions. We'll sleep on it, we'll learn more in the morning, and then we'll readdress."

James and Eriol considered this.

"Well, the lady is the tie-breaker," said James. "I suppose one night's not going to harm anything considering it's been a few hours and the sky hasn't fallen yet."

"God, I thought we had more time to do this," Eriol sighed. "I still have to manage the Kikutake. And Beatrice Lamb. Kill me now."

"I'll take care of Beatrice Lamb. You figure out the Kikutake and make sure the little one doesn't Hiroshima this place. And does the Li clan know at all about the Kikutake? I mean if they attacked one of their members—"

"We can't bring the Li clan here!" Eriol hissed as softly as he could so Syaoran could not hear. "That's the whole reason he's stuck here! To get away from them!"

James blinked and swore. "But you're going up against a  _clan_. You might be powerful but you're only one person. You can't deal with all of the Kikutake at once on your own, even with your guardians, and you also need to put on a show—someone needs to put on a show, anyway, for when others arrive—"

"They've already arrived—"

"For others that have arrived. Unless you expect the kid to use that Nothing card and take care of everything for you."

"I  _know_ —look," Eriol raised a hand, "we'll address one thing at a time. You can take care of Lamb and try to see if maybe you can figure out what's going on with her. I've got a few contacts who might know a little more about these sort of things that I can also call."

"Alright. Anne should be waking up soon, I'll give her a call and have her look through the books and touch base with you in the morning."

"Alright. Thanks, mate." James turned to grab his belongings, and Eriol followed, hands in his pockets.

"Thank you, James," Kaho stated. "This means a lot to us."

"You can thank me by not dying," said James while heading to the door, "or bringing about the apocalypse." He looked at Syaoran. "Yeah, right," his shoulders sagged. "He looks like he can use a night's sleep too. I'll call you?"

"Sure, James," Eriol saw him off.

* * *

" _Daijoubu desu ka?_ " Sakura asked Syaoran later, when everyone else was puttering around the kitchen. She and Syaoran remained in the living room, with Syaoran sitting on the couch, staring into the distance. She had asked partially because  _she_ did not feel alright. Though she knew she might have to give up the Clow Cards, part of her still felt reluctant, and she wished he would say that he was fine just so that maybe he would not need them, would not want them, and maybe she could keep them after all.

"I'm fine," he replied.

He did not look fine. There was a guilty look to his posture, as if he were somehow to blame for these latest developments.

"It's not your fault," she sat down next to him.

He sighed, leaning back on the couch. "I use to think that I was such a screwup _before_. I didn't realize I could get _worse._  Now everything I do just gets wrecked."

 _Nani?_ "That's not true! You were never a screwup. And things are complicated right now."

"Right," Syaoran looked away.

"You can't blame yourself,  _Syaoran-kun!_ " Sakura insisted. "I think you're handling all of this really well. I don't know what I would have done if all this happened to me instead." She looked away. "I'm not as strong as you."

"You would have been fine," Syaoran said softly. "The cards belong to you. None of this would have happened."

Sakura looked at him. "You don't know that." 

Syaoran looked like he wanted to throw something. "I  _knew_ it but—ugh! I don't know what I was  _thinking—_ she—it just  _appeared_ , and asked if I wanted to be friends and I  _agreed—_ why did I agree?"

"She asked you to be friends?"

" _Hai._ "

"Why would you say no?"

Syaoran looked at her and blinked. He then looked away.

"I don't belong," he said quietly. "I don't belong anywhere. That's why no matter what I do, I always ruin things, even when I try to do good things. I often wonder if everyone would be better off if I hadn't been born at all."

His words hurt, like a knife through her heart. All of the sudden, she was imagining what it would have been like to never have known him at all. If he had never been here, a force beyond the Clow Cards all his own—her window to the rest of this new magical world. Never helping her with the Power card. Never sitting with her at the beach that night, telling her about his home. Never listening to her when she felt lost. She remembered those awful nights when none of them slept and the clock kept ticking, and Yue and Kero were trying not to panic, but they all knew that the longer they took, the more likely that Syaoran was already dead. Then the basement, and Syaoran was not even  _recognizable—_ his limp face and limp hand, the rash over his cheeks, the easy way the adults moved him onto the stretcher and how cold his fingers felt, how weak. Buried under all the blankets and the bearhugger, tube taped to his mouth, and then the endless weeks when he would not talk to her, would not look at her, hardly seemed to know she was there.

He could have left. She would not be talking to him now. He could have left and never come back and there would always be that void, that emptiness where he once occupied, that absence where he should have been.

" _Iie._ " Sakura scooted close as her eyes welled up, and it was silly, how he was the one hurting but she was the one who started crying. "We need you here. _I_ need you here. I don't care what other people say. I say you  _do_ belong here. And if things go wrong they go wrong. It's not like everything has to go right. As long as we're together, we can face anything." She suddenly had to hide her face in her hands as a sob swelled out of her. "They said you could die. You might have even already died and-and we didn't know. It was horrible. And-and then we found you but you were dying—and you were r-right in front of me—" she squeezed her eyes shut. That rattle, and how still he was, how weak and labored his breathing, and then the flurry of activity in the hospital, tubes and needles and people shouting orders. Syaoran, high up in the trees, looking down. Syaoran, running next to her her in that race. Syaoran, green robes sweeping with the wind, sword in hand. Syaoran, graceful, elegant, and strong. Syaoran, warm and solid beside her.

Syaoran, cold and still, almost gone forever.

"We-we finally found you and you were dying. You were going to die.  _Syaoran-kun_ , you could have died and it was the worst thing  _ever_ —" she reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh  _Syaoran-kun!_ "

His arms came around her and he hugged her as tightly as she hugged him.

"You're more important," she sniffled, and even as she said these words she came to a realization. "You're more important than any destiny, alright,  _Syaoran-kun?_ "  _You're my friend, a true friend, and you've come for me when I was in trouble, and you were hurt, in order to protect me, and you almost died, and it was horrible, more horrible than losing the Final Judgment._ There was still a part of her that did not want to give up the cards, because they were wondrous and wonderful and important to her, but Syaoran was  _more_ important to her. As she had said to Kero after the Final Judgment, she could live without being Card Mistress. She had her magic, and Syaoran could teach her, and Yukito and Kero would always be part of her. Losing Syaoran would be far more painful than losing the cards.

She suddenly knew what  _her_ decision was.

"If you need the rest of the cards, that is fine." She held tighter, and her voice was steady and filled with conviction. "As long as you are OK."

And with that, the uneasiness, the reluctance that she had felt all this time regarding the Clow Cards—dissipated. She had not looked at things with the correct perspective. She had viewed giving up the Clow Cards as a loss, and had always been slightly relieved when Syaoran never brought it up—but now she realized that it was actually a trade. Syaoran, for the cards. She could have lost Syaoran forever. The Clow Cards were an opportunity for her to give, not lose—and gain, in exchange.

There was no question which one she would choose.

" _Sakura-chan…_ "

"I mean it," and Sakura pulled from their embrace. She looked at Syaoran with a serious expression. His eyes were glossy too. "I want you to have the cards, if they will help you," she told him.

Syaoran broke down. " _Gomen nasai,"_ he whimpered. "I—I didn't mean to take them from you. I didn't know. I didn't know."

He had been hurt, she realized. When he won the Final Judgment, no one cheered him on or congratulated him. Sakura had been so engrossed in her own disappointment, she had not realized that she hurt him too. She did not know at the time that she was contributing to his sense of being an intruder in a world he did not belong in, of being an imposter.

 _"Iie,_ you didn't take them from me. They were yours. I would rather not be Card Mistress than be Card Mistress without you.  _Gomen nasai._ I would have told you sooner, had I known."

This time, Syaoran reached for her first. Sakura hugged back, and then he was sobbing, heaving, expelling a pain deep inside and long suppressed. It was more than just the cards, she sensed. It sounded like all the hurt over the years, and he clung onto her as if she were the only thing holding him together. It was so severe, Sakura grew frightened. The commotion drew the attention of her brother and the adults, who all filed back.

"What happened?" Ruby exclaimed, and tried to peel Syaoran away, but he clung to Sakura like she were his lifeline, and did not seem to hear them.

"Xiaolang?" Hiiragizawa looked at Sakura in alarm.

It was Yukito who managed to pry him from her. "Kid," he exclaimed. Syaoran allowed the older boy to pull him back—his eyes were closed and he seemed too miserable to open them. His sobs were subsiding, leaving behind residual hiccups.

Touya immediately went to Sakura. "Are you alright?"

Sakura wiped her eyes. "I'm fine…"

Beside them, Yukito pulled Syaoran into an embrace. Syaoran melted into him, exhausted.

"What happened?" Hiiragizawa asked.

Sakura was not sure how to explain it. "He—I……nothing."

" _Hic."_ Syaoran then sniffled.

She felt incredibly stupid, but Hiiragizawa just looked at her for a moment, before everyone's attention turned to Syaoran.

"I think we're done for today," Kaho announced.

"I agree," said Hiiragizawa.

Ruby pulled Syaoran from Yukito's arms. Syaoran went with her slowly, exhausted. Yukito looked reluctant to let him go.

Ruby lifted Syaoran up and turned to carry him away. Touya pulled Sakura close.

"Right, we're going home, now," he announced. "Is he going to be alright?"

Kaho looked up. "Ruby will take care of him." She looked at Sakura. "You should take her home. It's been a trying day."

* * *

He was in the tomb, and that was fine. It was peaceful here, and the woes of the common world were far away, irrelevant. In the silence and darkness, the painted figures danced, and the celestials in the ceiling looked down as if from the sky. 

Someone had made this place with love and care. The body was rested in a proper coffin, and not thrown into a nameless grave. Though sorrow clung to the air, there was no fear, no anger, no doubt. In a way, it was beautiful here, this place frozen in time, unbothered, unmoving. Serenity, and rest. Safe and hidden from the world.

But then he was blindfolded and gagged, slammed onto the wooden table. Vicious hands dug into his nape to hold him down. His magic pulled and he tried to scream but nothing would come out. He seized and tried to thrash. He sobbed. More magic was sucked out of him, and pain, deep in his bones.  _Please, stop, stop—I'll do it, I'll do it—_ but the cards were not there for him to summon, and his captors did not demand them. Just his magic, spilling out. His mind tried to flee—the gardens of the Li home, summer desserts at the trucks, candied plums—more magic pulled, and pulled, and pulled—

He tried to escape, and felt like he might just have freed himself, but he was slammed back down.

The Nothing loomed before him.  _Stop it! Stop hurting him!_  It began to raise its arms.

 _No, don't, you're too dangerous, can't activate, Eriol-san said—_ and she disappeared.

They continued to draw out his magic, until Syaoran felt like he had nothing more to give. He tried screaming and could not scream—tried crying and had no tears to cry. Tried retching—and nothing came up.

More magic spilled out, and his abdomen cramped.

He tried to move but even his fingers felt paralyzed. Crushed.

 _No one's coming. No one's coming for me._ He was not meant to be and everyone was better without him, so they left him to this place, but they wanted this out of him first, his magic, which kept coming out of nowhere, and more and more and more, and he could not  _stand_ it—

And then he was awake. His body felt numb and weak. Ruby's arms were around him.

" _Syao-chan?"_

" _Onee-chan_ ," he gripped her robes, and started to shake.

He had not dreamed about the Chrysanthemums for almost a week now. It had not been so violent for even longer. He felt cold, and his body tingled as if his magic had just been forced out of him.

 _"Syaoran-chan_ , you're alright, you're alright," Ruby held him tight. "It was just a dream. You're safe. You're home."

Syaoran continued to tremble for a long time. When he finally felt calmer, he could not bear the thought of going to sleep. The moon illuminated the room, which suddenly felt stifling.

" _Onee-chan,_ " he whispered, "can we go flying?"

Ten minutes later, they were in the air, and Syaoran felt much better. Ruby was also being more sedate in her flying, choosing to flutter lazily rather than spin in complicated circles. The night air was very warm, but the wind felt freeing. High above the world, Syaoran felt almost happy. He could almost forget about the dream, and all the things that had happened to him.

The streets of Tomoeda were mostly dark, lit only with street lamps. Many of the windows were dark. Syaoran leaned out, much braver now after many flights with Ruby Moon. He knew she would never drop him, and leaning out this way felt a little like he was flying himself.

_Flying is awesome._

He could forget everything up here. He could forget that he had missed too many days of school, and did not feel ready to start going again. He could forget that he had been captured, and tortured, and now felt like a shell of his old self. He could forget that his mother did not want him, that he could not go home, that his sisters were not here for him, that he did not deserve to go back. Forget magic, the Nothing and the disaster he had caused. That he might have to take away something precious from Sakura. It was just him and Ruby up here, and Ruby cared about him, liked him, liked holding him at night and giving him kisses. Liked flying with him.

They went through all of Tomoeda in what felt like minutes. Ruby circled around, her arm tight around Syaoran's legs as he sat on her right shoulder.

"Ready to go back?" she asked.

"Let's stay up here."

" _Un?_  Alright! This night is for you," Ruby grinned. "Nothing like flying to make everything alright again."

Syaoran giggled.

They soared high up, into the clouds, until Syaoran felt a little dizzy, and then they dove down, like the descent of a roller coaster, and Syaoran screamed for all he was worth. Then he clung to Ruby Moon, laughing, as they left the borders of Tomoeda altogether. Tokyo was a glittering city, bright with streams of colored lights glowing from long buildings, and the highways were still dotted with cars. There were a surprising number of people still awake, on their way to clubs. Ruby Moon kept a high altitude to avoid being spotted, though no one was looking up.

"Is London like this?" Syaoran asked.

"There's no place like Tokyo," Ruby Moon kissed him on the head, "and no place like London."

"I want to see London," Syaoran declared. "I want to see that big clock tower. Does  _Eriol-san_ have a mansion there too?"

"Not a mansion, but a house that's big enough. Quite respectable."

"Would I fit in there?"

"Oh I think we can make room for you. We'll kick  _Suppi-chan_ out."

"We can't do that!" Syaoran laughed.

"He's a cat. He can live anywhere."

"He's not a real cat!"

"He might as well be," and Ruby tipped him over, earning Syaoran a shriek that was both delighted and scared. She did not let him fall, but the two of them tumbled through the air, and then Syaoran grabbed onto her because this was really pushing at his nerves.

They finally stopped on the top of Tokyo Tower, which was lit up in warm amber. Surrounded by the warm glow, Syaoran leaned against the moon guardian, looking at the buildings sparkle. There were no stars here; the city was too bright, but it seemed like the Heavens had descended to paint the landscape instead.

"Can we fly to Hong Kong?" he asked Ruby.

Ruby ducked down and pressed her forehead to his. "You still miss your  _Oka-san?_ "

" _Mama_ and  _Jeje,_ " Syaoran lowered his head.

"What's so bad about staying with us, hm?"

"You're not  _Mama_ and  _Jeje,_ " Syaoran turned away.

"Kids are so strange," Ruby reached out to stroke his hair. "I can't fly to Hong Kong if  _Eriol-sama_ doesn't agree."

Syaoran looked at the city and said nothing.

He had figured as much.

After a while, Ruby suggested they go home. Syaoran was tired, so he agreed. They sailed back to Tomoeda, where all was much darker and quieter. In contrast to Tokyo, no one was outside.

Most people were not outside. 

Someone was lying on the street.

A homeless person? Syaoran leaned forward and squinted.

" _Syaoran-chan?_ "

" _Onee-chan!_ " Syaoran grabbed her with one hand and pointed with the other. "We have to get down there!"

* * *

Sakura had an early night at the insistence of Fujitaka, who was fortunately unaware of the emotional whirlwind that had been this evening. Touya and Yukito sat outside on the porch steps, drinking. Or at least Touya was drinking.

"I don't like how he was all over my sister. It's inappropriate."

"He's  _ten_ , To-ya."

"It's still not appropriate."

"He wasn't 'all over her'. He was falling apart. He had to hold onto something."

"Right," Touya sighed. "What do you suppose happened?"

"I don't know," but Yukito had never heard anyone cry like that. The memory still gave him chills. It had sounded like agony, given voice. On the whole, it had been brief, but he could still feel how the boy's body trembled.

Collapsed into Yukito, helplessly trusting that he would catch the child.

"Why is nothing easy with that kid?" Touya sighed, taking a swig.

"He almost died and was tortured for days. I think it would be a tall order to expect anything to be easy right now."

"True. Ugh, but I hate feeling sorry for him." Touya bowed his head forward. "Not that there was any chance that I would have  _liked_ him after he was such a  _gaki_ to my sister, but I wish I had known sooner. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but at least…I don't know. I wasn't the best person either, when  _Oka-san_ died. I remember bargaining, for a long time. It's alright if I don't get top marks, if my mother could get better. It's alright if I tripped and scraped my knee, if this meant my mother would get better. My grandparents blamed  _Otou-san_ for taking her away from them, but they never blamed me. I was a stupid kid—never made the connection that in a way,  _Oka-san_ would have lived if I hadn't been born, with that kind of logic, so I never thought  _I_ was to blame.  _Kuso_ , to think your whole family blames you for your father's death when you were three years old, and have that kind of be true. I don't know. That's messed up. I wish…" He rubbed his head, and then took another swig. " _Iie,_ I think I would have still thought he was a total  _gaki_ , there's no helping that. I wish I wouldn't, though. Be yet another person in his life who treats him like he's a mistake."

"Your sister gets along with him," Yukito nudged him, smiling.

Touya's vein pulsed over his temple. "Too well. That kid better not get any ideas."

"Your sister is much better than you."

"She is," Touya readily agreed. "That's why he better not get any ideas. My sister is the best person in the world. I'm not letting her settle for just anyone. And feeling sorry for him does not make him a candidate."

"Of course not," Yukito looked away. "Why do you think he would? He's got so much going on. I really doubt he's of the mind to have any such idea."

Touya set the bottle on the ground. "Call it intuition." He rubbed his face. "Though I don't know. Wish that kid never came here. Seems to cause all sorts of trouble."

Yukito looked sadly at him.

"I don't know if it's fair to say that he causes trouble," he said quietly. "The trouble was already there. Just hidden, simmering, and we can ignore it. Who knows what the Kikutake have been doing, are still doing—we wouldn't even have been aware, if not for him. And that Nothing Card has been hiding under that mansion for thousands of years. Anything could trip it to activate. He just takes the trouble mostly onto himself. Not a single one of us got hurt in the process. Sakura has the cards right now, and not the dangerous one. Your house is mostly fixed, it just looks a bit battered. Daidouji's mansion is the same. Everyone is…" he hesitated, "right where we should have been, all along. Except him. And all he did was own the Clow Cards for a few weeks."

"…Point," Touya acknowledged.

"He might end up being the best thing that ever happened to Sakura."

"Oh  _shut up_." A big brother would always be a big brother.

Yukito sighed, slumping. "I'm tired. Think I'll go home."

"You'll be alright on your own?"

"Don't be ridiculous, To-ya," Yukito stood, ready to strut off, but then a wave of dizziness hit him. He suddenly was not sure which way the ground was, and could not see or hear anything to be sure.

"Yuki!" Touya's hands braced his arms. He supported Yukito as he lowered the latter to the steps.

"What was that?"

"I think I stood up too fast," Yukito managed to gasp out. His voice sounded weak to his own ears. " _Gomen nasai_."

"You've never done that before," Touya said slowly. "And you've stood up pretty quickly in the past."

"Right, must be getting old."

Touya only frowned.

"You should probably stay over," said the teen. "We can lay out a  _tatami_ in my room."

" _Iie,_ that's alright."

"Seriously, I think you should—"

"I'm  _fine,_ Touya, I just stood up too fast."

They argued a little, and Touya even offered to walk Yukito home, but that was too embarrassing.

_Besides, it's nothing he can stop._

His goal had been to get home soon enough. He had close calls before, and it worked out, somewhat. But halfway down one block, Yukito suddenly felt very light, as if his body were made of air. Everything was foggy, blurry, muffled. The night seemed less dark, but also less saturated, and his skin felt like a layer of rubber had covered it. Sensation dulled. Everything went… _quiet_.

Yue woke, feeling a magic that was both alien and familiar. He was lying on his back, staring up at the sky. Li Syaoran leaned in his field of view, surrounded by an amber glow. In his hand he held a Clow Card.

He sat up with a start. The boy jerked back, wide-eyed.

 _That's the Nothing._ "What are you doing?"

The child opened his mouth, then closed it. Opened it again. "You were fading," his brows lowered, and he suddenly looked more defensive than anything.

That weakness was gone. Yue felt almost…too energized. Snaps and sparks twitched along his limbs. He looked down and saw that his skin was glowing with power.

"I think that's enough," Ruby Moon drawled from behind the child. "He looks much better now. You can stop."

The amber glow faded, and Li tucked the card away. "Are you alright?"

Yue looked back at him. "I appear so."

 _He was using the card to locate his other magic._ The magic that had eluded Li Yelan and the Li clan, even Hiiragizawa Eriol. Li had been donating it to Yue in order to save him.

Li looked like he wanted to say something. His face was rather grave. He seemed to think better of it, however, and turned to Ruby Moon, who instantly extended her arms to him. He was wearing a soft cotton t-shirt and boxer shorts; did he just roll out of bed before heading out? And what was he doing out this late in the night?

"Well it's something, I guess," Ruby remarked as she picked him up, "fly around Tokyo and end the night with a good deed. I'm calling it."

She jumped into the air and disappeared overhead.

 _They were flying._ They must have seen Yukito, unconscious on the street. The boy must have figured out what was wrong. He then donated his magic.

_He saved me._

There was a  _lot_ of it. Yue was not sure how much Li had channeled. The magic felt odd; it might be because it was sun magic, but it also did not feel quite like any sun magic Yue had sensed before. It was very dense, and charged, as if it might combust.

He inhaled and spread his wings to transform back to his false form. The wings closed over him and he tried to pull them  _in—_

The magic crackled, strung tight, and refused to settle and consolidate.

He could not transform.

* * *

"Generally," said Hiiragizawa, "it's not a good idea to deliver sun magic directly into a moon entity, but in this case this magic isn't really normal to begin with."

"You mean in addition to how much of it there is?" Spinel waved his tail unhappily.

"Just the texture," Hiiragizawa removed his fingers from Yue's forehead to allow his aura to recede. "You can probably already sense that Syaoran's magic is different from yours or Cerberus', and also quite different from mine. I think the fact that it can be accessed through the Nothing card tells us a lot about its nature. And a lot about what Syaoran is." He contemplated Yue. "I would watch and see if it gets converted."

It was early in the morning, and the sun was just rising. Hiiragizawa was still in his sleep clothes. Mizuki, Ruby Moon, and Li were still sleeping. Yue had come to the mansion about half an hour ago after failing to transform. At length, he finally decided that this was something that required someone of Clow Reed's caliber to resolve.

"The other option is to use the Nothing to transform the magic itself. It does have that power," Hiiragizawa went on, "but I wouldn't recommend it at this stage. It would require a lot of finesse. Even I'm not confident that I would be able to do it correctly, let alone a true ten-year-old. If it doesn't convert on its own, we'll consider it then."

"What is he?" Yue asked.

"James thinks he's from 'up high', but if that were entirely the case, there are some things that contradict that."

"Up high meaning what, an angel?" Spinel asked.

"Some equivalent,  _hai._  Beings like angels don't tend to cause this much chaos, though. Killing his father would have been a grave crime. James implied that it's possible there was trouble up there, which is not that good news if it's true. I'm not sure I agree. I think it's safe to assume that his hidden magic is a remnant of whatever he use to be. It has the same nature as the magic of the Nothing card."

"Anti-magic?"

"Obviously very strong," said Hiiragizawa, "because the Nothing can still be sensed—negative magic can still be sensed, and used. Syaoran, under certain conditions, can cast spells without any tangible magic. The Nothing altered his magic so that it became real, and that is why we can see it and he can use it, somewhat. My suspicion is that Syaoran was once a negative being. It explains how he wouldn't have been predicted."

"What do you mean by 'negative being'?" Yue asked.

"Negative events: something that could have happened but didn't. Syaoran's father, alive at seventy. A Li Yelan without a son. A potential cousin who is currently dead or had never been born. Sakura's mother, alive today. I think Li Syaoran might have been an entity that did not exist, but could have. An unrealized potential Somehow, he got pulled over. Life tends to come from previous living things. Real things. Syaoran was not real. Moreover, he was a powerful being that never was."

The two guardians were silent at this implication.

"That's going to be a tough one to explain," said Spinel.

"I'll have to call James and ask him to call Anne. She might have heard of such a thing, though I doubt this happens often."

The boy in question was gingerly poking his head past the wall separating the kitchen from the living room. He had sensed that Yue was present. He looked worried, and was staring at Yue. Yue pretended he did not see the child, just to observe what he might do.

"He would change the rules just by being here," Spinel said thoughtfully. "But for someone who's not meant to be, and with his kind of power, if he weren't some kind of angel then we'd have bigger problems, wouldn't we?"

"Well he had normal magic," said Hiiragizawa, "the one he  _could_ use; the other he could not use, so I doubt even if he had been an evil being, he could have caused much damage. At least, not intentionally. He only interfered with things that were yet to be. Prophecies. Destinies. Those things that are strictly in his domain until they come to pass. He was something that shouldn't have been but now is. To balance him out, things that should have been now aren't." He paused. "I wonder why. And how. Maybe Anne might find something. Xiaolang, are you hungry?"

He had noticed the boy too.

Hiiragizawa left the table to open the fridge. Li looked at him, then at Yue. His expression became grave. It was reminiscent of his old expressions, when he had been the unsmiling, always serious child without any levity.

 _He's afraid,_ Yue thought.  _What does he think I will do?_ Did the boy think Yue would be angry at him for saving his life?

"Hm," Hiiragizawa bent down, and seemed unusually engrossed in the contents of the fridge.

Yue looked at the English sorcerer, and then at Syaoran.  _He's giving me an opportunity._ Give the boy cues. Do not follow the boy's cues. Following Li's cues would compel Yue to try to ignore him, anyway; leave him alone, try to set him at ease by keeping his distance.

_I wonder…_

The guardian extended one hand toward the boy and tipped his upper body over so he was a little lower. "Come here, child," he beckoned.

Li looked at him as if this development were the absolute last thing the boy expected. Yue almost withdrew his hand. It took some will to stand by his request. Command, really. It did come out more like an order than anything else. But Li did not leave him hanging for long; the boy was very uncertain and confused, but he approached, and gave his smaller hand for Yue to grasp.

The old Li Syaoran would have kept his distance, stubbornly refusing to come close.

Well, Yue was actually not so sure, anymore.

"You saved my life," he said to the child. "I…did not get a chance to thank you."

Red bloomed over the boy's cheeks. He did not seem to know what to do. He could not meet Yue's gaze after that, and looked down at Spinel for help, then at Hiiragizawa, who was still pointedly ignoring the scene.

Yue reached with his other hand, wondering.  _Would he let me?_ But Li did allow him to stroke his brown hair back, and then cup that small cheek, warm from blushing. He also allowed Yue to pull him closer, enough that Yue could even slide his hands under the boy's arms to pick him up, if the guardian chose. But he still did not meet Yue's eyes, and somehow looked terribly despondent, head bowed and hands limp.

" _Syao-chan!_ " Ruby Moon exclaimed, "I thought you were still upstairs!"

She burst into the kitchen. Li turned, withdrawing his hand from Yue's.  _"Gomen nasai, Onee-chan_." 

Ruby extended her arms then, smiling at Syaoran. "Come here, big boy!"

And Syaoran went to her as well. She picked him up, and he instantly wrapped his arms around her neck and curled his legs around her waist.

Hiiragizawa turned around. "Ruby, do you think you can start making breakfast?"

Ruby ignored this. "What's Yue doing here?"

That was appallingly rude, though Yue had come to expect no less from her.

"He can't transform back to his false form," said Hiiragizawa.

"Join the club," Ruby Moon sneered.

Hiiragizawa appeared to make note of this. "Regardless," he announced, "I would like for him to remain here so that I may observe him. See if it wears off, and how quickly. Now, if you don't mind, James thinks I'm starving Syaoran, so if you can help feed him?"

"Sure.  _Syaoran-chan_ , come help me?"

" _Hai,"_ he nodded readily, and then smiled.

Ruby nuzzled her nose to his, grinning, and then carried him over to the fridge before setting him down. "Let's see what we should make!"

 _He's so comfortable with her,_ Yue thought as he watched the two occupy themselves.  _She just tells him what to do, and he does it. And she gives him affection, without him having to ask for it._  She was patting his hair, holding her hand to his back, and he was leaning into her, reaching out to take hold of her robes, even grabbing onto her red hair, as if bracing himself. Unconscious gestures of trust, requests for reassurance.

Hiiragizawa moved over to Yue's side. He did not say anything, but something about his presence felt unhappy. Yue looked over to note that he was frowning at the pair.

"What's wrong?" Spinel asked, also noticing the expression.

"Nothing," said Hiiragizawa, turning around. "Is Kaho awake yet?"

* * *

Syaoran was uneasy with Yue in the mansion, and huddled close to Ruby for most of the morning. Before noon, Kaho watched from the side as he mustered up the courage to approach the Clow guardian, who was leaning against the wall as he had done since breakfast.

 _"Was it what I did?"_ the boy asked anxiously.  _"Is that why you can't transform?"_

Yue was always an inscrutable guardian, and she could understand why Syaoran might not see the tenderness in the way he regarded the child. He bent down to Syaoran's level, reaching out with one hand to rub his shoulder.

 _"You did well,"_ said the guardian, and to Kaho's surprise, he kissed the boy on the forehead.

Syaoran was even more surprised than Kaho, blinking rapidly, and appeared even more nervous than before. He retreated, looking warily at Yue as if the guardian had tried to bite him instead. Yue folded his arms and looked faintly thoughtful as the boy finally gave in to his nerves and escaped to Ruby's side.

 _Interesting._ Kaho was not sure what to make of that.

Meanwhile, Eriol was calling Li Yelan again to give her an update. He was on the phone for a long time before summoning Syaoran to speak with his mother. Syaoran went eagerly; the boy was still terribly homesick, despite everything.

"The more I think about it, the more it fits," said Eriol, "but it's disturbing if it's true. If Syaoran really is something from the other side…how did he come to be here? Is this something that will keep happening?"

"One thing I always had a hard time understanding," Kaho remarked, "the guardians. They were all created. They were not born. They all have their own personalities, desires, thoughts. Both Yue and Kerberus are capable of love. Do they have souls, then? Where did these souls come from? Were these souls created by Clow, or did they funnel from somewhere else? And how are they different from Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, who you claim are  _not_ capable of love?"

Eriol folded his arms. "I actually don't know the answer to that, Kaho. When Clow created Cerberus and Yue, he wanted them to have the full potential of any human. The ideal beast, and ideal man. It was very meticulous work, and he also specifically designed them to be able to grow. With Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, I did not have the same goals. I made Spinel and Ruby capable of growing smarter, but I did not design them to change, fundamentally, the way I had designed Kerberus and Yue. But my design limits do not necessarily mean that they do not have souls. The souls could have come from somewhere else. Clow never  _made_ a soul, he just gave attributes. All guardians were made from magic, which Clow gathered; he did not create. And magic has a will. So I don't know. Perhaps they all do."

"So Syaoran is not the same as the guardians."

Eriol narrowed his eyes and did not reply.

"Ruby, also, is very good with that child," Kaho went on. "I can't believe she does not care for him, looking at her."

"She is good at taking care of others," Eriol replied. "That was intentional. And she is good at knowing what love should look like, for the most part. But I did not design her with the ability to love. I did not think that would contribute to her happiness, so I did not include it. She holds a child's view of what cruelty looks like. She would not strike others without reason. She would not inflict pain on others unless she is defending herself or her peers. She knows what affection looks like too. What nurture looks like. But she knows only appearances. She cannot feel sorrow. I didn't want her to ever be sad. I made her capable of fear, of anger, as these are basic survival instincts, but I never wanted her to feel the way Yue did after Clow died. That guardian suffered. I could not bear it if she suffered, Kaho. She can feel physical pain but not emotional pain. That is the biggest problem. If she cannot feel sorrow, then she does not have empathy, and she cannot love others without that. She knows how to behave, but there will be times when she does something that is fundamentally wrong, for the wrong reasons, and that reveals her limits. I am  _very_ worried about her." He sighed. "But I can't take Syaoran away from her right now. He needs her too much, even this pale imitation—and she's so good at it. I keep oscillating…what's the harm, but the harm could be very profound long-term…but I can't tear him away from her  _now_ , when he has no one else. He's starting to trust you and me, now, but he's still firmly attached to her, and he took a long time to warm up to the two of us."

"You never know," Kaho pointed out, "just because you did not design something does not mean it's not there. Clow did not design Yue to fall into despair. She could have had the capacity even if you neglected to put it there."

"True." Not that this assuaged his concerns.

"Yue's trying to reach out to him."

"I told him to give it a shot."

"Poor Syaoran doesn't seem to know how to react to this."

"Well, I wouldn't expect him to. As long as this doesn't discourage Yue," Eriol twisted his lip unhappily, "but Ruby Moon keeps interfering. I might ask Spinel to help me in this case. That's one good thing about what Syaoran did; as long as Yue is here we can try and give them opportunities to mend bridges."

"What do you think about him reclaiming the Clow Cards?"

"I'd like to see if we can find out more," said Eriol. "If this has happened before, or if we can find out what led him to come here." He paused. "He makes me uneasy. I feel he might end up being something that chews up potential. It makes me reluctant to help him reach his own, if it comes at such a cost to others." He sighed. "That is the same attitude the Li clan holds; I realize that." 

"Perhaps destiny is not so important," said Kaho. "He never took anything that belonged to someone else. Something that has yet to happen _did not happen_. He has as much right as anyone to fulfill his own potential. We all benefit from the loss of others. That is the way of the world."

Eriol bowed his head. "I know."

"He has proven to be capable of controlling the Nothing," Kaho went on. "He did not activate it, but it could have easily activated despite him. And he does have magic to spare. I actually feel better about giving him the cards. If his magic truly were meant to be balanced this way…it would be good for him. And it would not harm Sakura, to be a normal sorceress in this life. She would be free to determine her own fate. That is not such a bad thing."

"You're right," Eriol said thoughtfully. After a moment, he nodded. "You are absolutely right,  _Kaho-san_."

* * *

It had been a few days since Sakura saw Tomoyo, so she decided she wanted to head over to the Daidouji mansion. Tomoyo was excited when she heard Sakura was coming.

"There is so much to talk about," Sakura told her, "you wouldn't believe what's been happening."

 _"Is it good news?"_ Tomoyo asked.

"I don't know? But I'll tell you everything when I get there."

 _"Daijoubu!"_ Tomoyo giggled.  _"I have some new things for you to try."_

"Hoe?"

More clothes, it sounded like.

She was curious despite herself, because it had been a while since Tomoyo made anything. The last time Sakura wore a costume was for the Final Judgment. She doubted these were actual costumes, but Tomoyo was magical in her fashion design. Even normal outfits would promise to be spectacular.

She was halfway to the mansion when she encountered the sorcerer. Black haired, broad-shouldered, wearing a dark gray jacket. He seemed to be in his mid-thirties, with a hard face and sharply-defined jaw. His eyes were gray and cold, and his skin was very tan. In his left hand, he clutched an umbrella. It was long, blue-black, with a wooden handle.

The girl stopped, staring up at him.

"You are Kinomoto Sakura?" the man asked.

Sakura stepped back.  _This is not good._

The man opened his umbrella and raised it to cover his head.

"Walk with me, please," he turned.

Her vision went blurry, and the bright light of the outdoors dimmed.

_Walk…with…him…_


	17. The Wolf Makes for Poor Prey

It was Li who first sensed that someone was trying to steal the Clow Cards. The residual bond had flashed, making his right eye hurt. Then, Daidouji called, reporting that Sakura was supposed to meet her but had gone missing. Hiiragizawa and Kaho both tried to sense her, but they could not detect her aura.

Kerberus and Yue raced to the Kinomoto residence to get the book, which had opened itself in response to its mistress' call, and cards were already disappearing, one by one. Kerberus slammed the book closed to prevent any more from escaping. Li and Hiiragizawa went to his old apartment to retrieve the  _rashinban_ _._ The guardians then all flocked to the apartment, where Li was already using the board to locate any magical disturbances.

"Wait a minute," Touya glared; he had sensed danger and come with the guardians when he learned what had happened, "don't tell me  _he's_ the one we have to depend on to find her."

"Then we won't," Li snarled without opening his eyes. "You can make yourself useful by shutting up."

"Better let him concentrate," said Hiiragizawa, though he looked at the boy with some disapproval. "There's a lot of magical energy in Tomoeda."

"That's not going to be very useful, then," Kerberus frowned.

The boy opened his eyes then. "I think I know where she is."

"You  _think_?"

"That direction," Li said without acknowledging Kerberus. "I feel a tug there, and the  _rashinban_ points there too."

"There's no time to waste, then," said Kaho. "They would have sensed us scrying for them."

"Are we really just taking the kid's word for it?"

"There's a reason _I_ didn't try using the  _rashinban,_ " Hiiragizawa told Kerberus. "He still has a bond with the cards. He stands a better chance of isolating the Card Mistress' signature."

Li went with them when they set out.

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Touya asked skeptically.

"I'm  _not_ helpless," Li snapped at him. "I have a card and I have the  _rashinban_ and you need to know where to go."

Touya glanced at Yue. "Nice to see he's his old lovable self again."

"Don't, Touya," Yue warned, remembering what Hiiragizawa had told him. Li was being extra hostile to everyone, even Ruby Moon—far more so than he ever was when he first arrived in Japan, and it was easy to attribute this to his baseline temperament if Yue had not witnessed the boy's behavior beforehand. The child was terrified, and it was taking everything he had to overcome it. He would have insisted on keeping the boy out of harm's way; Li had  _just_ been kidnapped, and was  _still_ suffering from the aftermath, but unfortunately Li was right; they needed him to know how far to go.

He went with Ruby Moon, who held him in her arms as if he belonged there. His face was determined, and it reminded Yue of the night of the Final Judgment, those same eyes, steady, strong, and brave. He had to marvel at the child; he had such courage. He had suffered great trauma, not to mention the long-term hurt he endured back at home, but when someone he cared about was in trouble, he faced what hurt him without hesitation.

Li directed them to a grand-looking building, with large letters spelling out "Southern Sea Hotel". Hiiragizawa had them land on the roof, away from the general crowd of people below.

" _Arigatou,_ Xiaolang," said the sorcerer. "Stay up here, we'll reconvene here before taking off."

" _Iie,_ I'm not staying here!"

Hiiragizawa stared at him.

"I'm coming with you," Li hissed.

"I'm not trading you for her," Hiiragizawa snarled right back.

"I'm  _not_ helpless!!" Li screamed, and there was a distant pop, like a spark of electricity. Yue started, turning to look, but he saw nothing out of the ordinary. The words echoed around them, resonating, and for a moment Yue was worried that others might hear.

Hiiragizawa swept forward and to everyone's shock, he grabbed the boy by the collar.

"What do you think you'll do? Do you think you can use kung fu? You haven't practiced nor do you have depth perception! Do you think you can cast spells? You have no magic!"

"I have the Nothing!"

Hiiragizawa's face whitened. "Have you listened to anything we had said about that card? It's not meant to be used!"

"Well I wasn't meant to  _be!_ " Syaoran shouted back, and spittle flew from the corners of his mouth. "So maybe I ought to use it! It doesn't matter what happens to me! I'm not letting Sakura go through what I did!"

He flung Hiiragizawa's hands away and headed for the door leading inside the building.

"Stop him!" Hiiragizawa shouted, and Ruby instantly obeyed, diving to wrap her arms around the boy.

" _Iie—_ " Li expelled, and thrashed in her embrace. He surprised her with his vehemence, and broke free, but Yue was already diving forward, and he was prepared. The boy kicked, even bit him, but he had the child's arms pinned down, face pressed tight against his shoulder, and the child had no leverage. Even after all this time, Li had not recovered to his full strength, and could not sustain his struggles.

" _Iie_ ," Yue said to him, and turned his face to speak directly into his ear, "You don't know what it was like, losing you the first time. I will not lose you again."

Li stilled at this, as if these words were the last things he ever expected to hear.

Yue used the opportunity to turn to Touya.

"I will find your sister," the guardian promised. "Look after him."

Touya opened his mouth, and then shut it. A look of utter rage crossed his face, but he could do no more than accept the boy when Yue passed him over. Touya did not have any magical training. His participation would be a disaster. Better to have him keep an eye on Li and make sure the little one did not rush into danger.

Hiiragizawa went to Li and cupped the boy's face. "Xiaolang, I just found you. I'm not losing you.  _Stay here_." He turned and summoned his staff.

Yue summoned his magic and formed crystals above his palm. Li's magic crackled in him, and the crystals that formed were very bright, almost blinding. He fired them at the lock on the door, blasting a hole there. The door swung open.

"Let's go," Kerberus dove in.

Touya wrapped his arms more securely around the boy. Yue heard him swear at them as the rest of them filed in, but as long as the teenager and the boy were staying put, he could swear all he wanted.

* * *

 They had to go through each floor. Luckily, the building only had six, and Cerberus and Spinel were fast. Eriol exerted his own spell, felling anyone who had no magic. Sleeping tourists lined the halls. They ran over their bodies. On the fourth floor, they finally found her. Sakura stood at the end, her green eyes vacant, her hands behind her back. Eriol pulled to a stop, knowing that they were expected, and this could be a trap. He set the end of his staff on the carpet.

"Whoever you are," he commanded, "Come out. Let's talk."

"Do you truly wish to talk?" Sakura asked. Her voice was emotionless, and she retained that vacant stare.

" _Iie,_ " said Eriol, looking around. Here, he could actually sense the sorcerer, but he had also coated the halls with magic, and Eriol could not be certain where he was. "I consider myself a civilized man, however. Diplomacy is a mark of sophistication."

"In good times, perhaps," said Sakura. She lifted her arms. "Key that conceals the power of darkness, reveal your true nature to me, by my power, I command you release!"

Eriol stepped back, mind reeling at this development.  _Really? You're really going to make me fight her?_ "You can't let her die," he pointed out. "You don't have all the cards."

"But I can injure her," Sakura replied, and drew out a card. Eriol did not see which it was, but Firey spilled from beneath her sealing wand.

Cerberus leaped forward, summoning his shield. " _Sakura-chan!_ You have to fight it! I know you're in there!"

Sakura did not answer. The Firey bounced off the barrier, but it lit the rest of the hall, and soon the area was filling up with smoke. Around them, the smoke alarm began to blare.

"Get the Sealing Wand from her!" Kaho shouted, and cast a spell to try to dissipate the smoke.

Eriol drew back, allowing Yue and Cerberus to go forward to distract Sakura. He stretched his senses out to try to locate the true culprit.  _Where are you, you little vermin…_

The smoke was getting thick. Yue's crystals broke one of the windows, and Kaho summoned a wind to try to funnel everything out, but Sakura was still attacking, this time drawing the Shot.

"Yue," she named.

The Shot instantly targeted the Moon guardian. It was under Cerberus' influence, which meant it could harm Yue. The moon guardian was fortunately fast; Syaoran's magic had lent him strength, but the halls were difficult to maneuver, and it took all his focus and agility to cope. 

Sakura quickly drew a third card. If she kept casting spells this way, she was going to deplete her magic entirely—she could die, just as Syaoran could have died.

Eriol attempted to cast a sleep spell on her, but she was already asleep, and this had no effect. Any other spells that came to mind could easily harm her. Without locating the source, his options were limited. He tried to pull the Sealing Wand, but Sakura dodged him; her gymnastics skills were giving her an edge that they did not need. Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon attempted to snatch it from her physically, but she beat them back with blunt blows. She then slammed her wand down on the third card.

Time slowed, like someone had slammed the brakes. Eriol was able to stay one step ahead of it, but it caught up with him as well.  _No—_ If the spell took hold, Sakura could kill them all and they would all be helpless, and then her magic would be depleted and  _she_ would be helpless—

Yue sped past, freed from the Shot, which had been caught under the spell. He moved with his usual speed, and went past faster than light. In an instant, Time resumed. He tried to make for the wand, but Sakura yanked it out of reach. Behind him, the Shot slammed into the ground and them ricocheted back toward him.

 _Yue._ Moon magic. Time was within his domain. Eriol had forgotten.  _Thank goodness._

Then the Through Card activated, and Sakura suddenly fell through the floor.

Eriol swore.

Her aura was depleted, but they could sense it, this time. She fell down one floor, but had time to cloak the entire hall with the Dark. Only Ruby and Yue could see past it, and they charged forward, while the smoke alarms continued to blare. Eriol lit his staff, but they were too far up ahead.

Sakura waning; the Time card had taken a lot out of her, despite its short duration. Even so, she fought back hard. Firey materialized again, followed by Windy, and then the Rain, all the while Dark continued to cloak everything in black. At one point Kaho nearly grabbed hold of the Sealing Wand, but the girl struck her in the arm and knocked her attempt aside. She then summoned the Fight Card, and rained blows upon the guardians. Kaho was forced to retreat. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun went forward, with Ruby Moon swirling with red lights. Sakura moved past them and dove for Kaho. Eriol blocked her wand with his own staff.

Fighting was not his forté, nor was it Clow's. His breath left him as she struck him in the ribs, almost hard enough to crack it. He went down on one knee with the next blow to his shoulder, and his glasses went askew. Sakura lifted her wand above her head, like an executioner, and Eriol barely managed to lift his own staff for the block.

But then, without any warning, Sakura collapsed onto the carpet like a puppet with its strings cut, her head thudding on the ground and the wand rolling from her limp hand.

_They were distracting us…_

" _Sakura-chan!_ " Cerberus cried.

" _Eriol-sama! You're hurt!_ " Ruby Moon ran to him.

Eriol grabbed her by the arms as she helped him up. "Ruby, the sorcerer must be trying to escape—he's cut off his influence over Sakura. We have to get them before they get away!"

"We have to put out the fire!" Kaho reminded him. "Everyone's out!"

Cursing, Eriol grabbed on his ribs. "Come on!"

They went back upstairs. Fortunately, the problem was mainly the smoke, not the fire itself, and it was easy for Kaho to clear. Eriol canceled out the sleeping spell. Yue cradled Sakura in his arms and they all made for the roof before anyone could catch Spinel and Cerberus.

Once outside, Eriol ran for the edge, his guardians close behind. He could sense the sorcerer now; he must have raised some kind of wards around his own room to hide himself; having left the vicinity, he was out in the open once more. They could dive down on whoever this was from above, like an eagle hunting prey.

But the older Kinomoto sibling was by the edge, looking down. Syaoran was not with him.

 _No_. "Where is he?!"

The teen whirled around, his face ashen, and Eriol felt his entire body ice over.

"He jumped," Kinomoto then saw his sister and ran for her.

Eriol ran for the edge and looked down, heart pounding until his skull felt like it was vibrated. He dreaded seeing that little body on the pavement, and yet he had to look—had to know. But there was no crowd, no blood on the sidewalk—no Syaoran. There were fire trucks pulling up, though. The smoke alarms had hailed them, and he could see the firefighters leaping from the trucks and dashing into the building.

Ruby joined him, looking down. "Where is he?"

"He didn't fall," Eriol realized, caught between hope and the dread that he had simply missed the corpse. "At least, not all the way." But where did he go? "Blast that child, it's not enough that trouble finds him, he has to go looking for trouble—"

"He must have gone after them!" Spinel exclaimed.

 _What on earth? Devil take the child—_ the only thing that boy could do was use the Nothing, which was  _exactly_ what he should not do. Bonding with the card alone took Syaoran's vision and his moon magic—Eriol did not want to find out what using it would sacrifice. He whirled around. "Yue, Cerberus, stay with the Kinomotos and get them out of here before the firefighters scout the area! Kaho, Ruby Moon, Spinel Sun, we're going after that brat!"

Kaho wasted no time mounting Spinel, and they all leaped off the roof. Eriol could not sense Syaoran—had not been able to since the child bonded with the Nothing, but if Spinel was correct, the boy should be with the sorcerer. The signature was moving, and was already five blocks away.

They could not dive low; the sun had yet to set, and people were out and about. But below, a spell flared, and then the Nothing swelled, neutralizing the first spell.

_No._

Eriol directed them to land on the closest roof, which was a four-story apartment complex. Below, Syaoran had the Nothing Card in his left hand and his sword in his right— _Wh_ _en did he retrieve his sword?_ Opposite him, the sorcerer Eriol once tailed stood, holding a dark blue staff.

 _"Who are you?"_ the sorcerer demanded.

Syaoran did not answer. He leaped into the air, swinging his sword. Despite the many weeks when he was ill and then recovering, his form was perfect, and he appeared to fly. But the move announced his intentions, and the sorcerer easily blocked. They pushed away, and the sorcerer tried another spell. Eriol's nerves felt like they were imploding, but his body could not react fast enough. Then Syaoran slammed the flat of his blade against the Nothing card, and the spell winked out of existence.

Eriol thought his bones might shake out of his limbs. He could not decide whether he was relieved or horrified. Syaoran's eyes looked the same. Syaoran's face looked just as determined. Not the cold, unfeeling mask of a soulless husk—that stunt did not take Syaoran's heart.

Maybe the spell was enough for that card to consume.

The sorcerer pulled back. " _What are you?!"_

"I'm the real Card Master," Syaoran replied. "I'm far more dangerous than that girl."

The sorcerer lowered his staff, wary and perplexed.

Syaoran threw the Nothing Card to sail in front of him. He drew his sword up with both hands at the hilt, aiming the tip at the card.

 _No!_ Eriol swung his own staff, as fast as he could, and threw his own spell with all his might. It hit Syaoran's sword, knocking it completely out of the boy's grip. Syaoran himself fell back from the blow. Eriol then leaped off the roof, and his guardians followed suit. The sorcerer saw them, and whirled around to flee—Spinel and Ruby Moon were on him, as Kaho rushed to Syaoran.

Eriol left the boy to her—he will deal with him later. The sorcerer was quickly subdued by his guardians; he was not fast enough, and Ruby quickly had him in a chokehold, with Spinel standing guard.

"Easy, sweetheart," Ruby grinned maniacally, "shortcuts tend to be long. Little girls oft have big brothers behind them, and big sisters too. Ah ah ah ah ah—" for the man was struggling, and she pressed a very sharp crystal against his throat, hard enough that blood began flowing down and staining his jacket.

Eriol set his staff on the ground, coming to a stop. His nerves were practically vibrating, but his voice sounded much calmer than he felt. "State your name."

The man swore at him.

"Spinel," Ruby suggested, "bite his foot off. Maybe he'd talk."

"Takeshi Jun!" the man growled out, cringing against her. "Now let me go!"

"I don't know why I should do that," Eriol pointed out, and he suddenly hated this man, hated him even more than the Kikutake, for _daring_ to come here and attack his little one when the wounds were still healing, "considering you were so rude earlier. I gave you a chance to talk."

"I'll talk!"

"Well," Eriol narrowed his eyes, "it's a bit late for that, isn't it? My feelings are now hurt. Give me a good reason why I shouldn't kill you  _right now_."

"I won't come back!" the sorcerer cried. "I won't come back, I promise!"

"I'd believe that if you took up my offer earlier," Eriol stalked toward him, "but I'm afraid you've proven to be rather  _uncivilized_ , and I can hardly take you at your word."

"I swear! I swear, by the Sun and Moon, the Sky and Earth—"

"I have a better idea," Eriol interrupted. He moved his staff to his left hand, and placed his right palm on the man's forehead.

" _Iie, iie!"_ The man struggled, which caused the blood around his neck to drip faster.

"Takeshi Jun," Eriol commanded, "the world of magic is not for you. You will forget, and forget all that transpired here. No Clow Cards, no magic, not for Takeshi Jun."

Magic roared, and the elements spun around them. The sun and moon bore witness, the sky and earth confirmed. Takeshi's eyes grew vacant, and he slumped under the spell. Ruby Moon lowered him to lay him flat on the ground.

 _Death is too good for you,_ Eriol sneered down at the shell of a man.  _Instead, I will unmake all that you are._

Eriol turned around to see Kaho supporting Syaoran, who was looking at the sorcerer with an unreadable expression.

"Let's get out of here," Eriol snapped.

* * *

Once at the mansion, Eriol grabbed Syaoran by the collar.

"What were you  _thinking?!_ " he roared, shaking Syaoran twice and then violently pushing him back. Syaoran stumbled, eyes wide and face pale.

"You think this is a joke?!" Eriol thundered. "Did you lose part of your brain with the Kikutake?! What if that sorcerer got the best of you? Do you even understand what the Nothing is capable of?! I  _told_ you to stay put!"

"He was getting away—"

"That was  _not_ your business!"

Kaho had never seen Eriol so furious, and even she felt frightened. His aura was black with rage. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun cringed back. They had never seen Eriol so angry either.

"How many times have you heard me say, the Nothing was not meant to be used! Did you think I called James in because it's  _fun?_ Were you not paying attention to how we scanned you, trying to see what it took from you?!" Eriol stalked forward, and then grabbed Syaoran by the collar again. His magic crackled and popped. He had sun magic and the sun's wrath. "Did it not sink into that skull of yours, how this card could undo the world as we know it?! You foolish boy! Is this the kind of Card Master you're going to be? One who uses power because he has it, at his whim?"

Syaoran's face contorted in a hideous scowl. "Well, so what if I will? Everyone believes it! If you have a problem with that, you can kill me yourself!"

What happened next was so fast, Kaho could hardly keep track of what she saw. Eriol let go of Syaoran, then swung his arm. There was a loud clap of skin on skin, and then Syaoran was sprawled onto the floor.

A deathly silence descended, and for a long time no one moved. Kaho hardly dared to breathe. Only Eriol's shoulders heaved. Everyone else was as still as a statue.

Then Syaoran curled and lifted his head. He glared up at Eriol. His eyes were bright with defiance.

But Eriol finally seemed to come to his senses, and his aura began to lighten as he realized what he had done.

"Heh," he let out a laugh, completely without mirth, and then raised a hand to cover his mouth as he continued to regard the boy. He then closed his eyes and turned his face away. He looked like he was about to be sick.

Silence fell again.

Syaoran continued to glare. His face was starting to turn red, Eriol's handprint a telling outline.

 _This is what he does._ Syaoran was mad with terror. If Kaho and the guardians were alarmed by Eriol's temper, Syaoran was the target of it, taking the brunt of it, and he was reduced to reflexes, instincts honed from his years in Hong Kong where he was not allowed to be afraid, and so he turned his fear into rage. But in the quiet, Kaho realized something else: Eriol had been even more scared. He was even more frightened by the boy's risk-taking stunt, to the point where he could not maintain his usual control, nor regard the situation with his usual thoughtfulness.

The guardians were still too intimidated to intervene, but Kaho stepped forward to approach Syaoran. Eriol was not going to stop her, she knew. He loved the boy, loved him so much that nothing hurt him more than the idea of killing the child.

Syaoran could not understand this. He was too young. All he saw was that his benefactor was angry with him. All he felt was the physical blow.

She knelt next to him, and took him by the arms. "Come," she said quietly, "let's get some ice on that, before it swells up. Come on."

He was still at first, but she urged harder, and he finally moved with her, pliant. He continued glaring at Eriol, who was still turned away, hand covering his mouth as if to hold back his nausea. Kaho turned his face away. "Come," she said to him again.

Syaoran's movements were stilted; he was also in shock. He said nothing as Kaho took ice from the freezer and wrapped it in a washcloth. She pressed his hand to it after applying it to his face.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked.

Syaoran did not answer, but he let her lift his shirt to check over his bruises. He had some scratches on his arms and legs. She guided him away from the kitchen and to the bathroom, where there was a first aid kit. Band-aids, and some antiseptic. He did not make a sound when she cleaned the cuts. After she was done, she led him from the bathroom and to the family room.

Eriol and his guardians were still in the living room.

She made Syaoran sit down on the couch.

"It's going to be alright," she told him, sitting on her knees before him and placing a hand on his bandaged knee.

Syaoran blinked, and then glared at her, as if accusing her of thinking he was an idiot.

"You'll see," she insisted. "He shouldn't have hit you, but you didn't see him when he thought you were dead. He would have gone after you,  _Syaoran-kun._ "

His glare turned disbelieving.

"It will be alright," Kaho went on. "He was terrified. And he was scared of what the Nothing might do. He wasn't worried so much about what you would do with it—he was more worried about what it might do to you."

Syaoran looked away. He still did not believe her.

" _Syaoran-kun_ , the Nothing requires the most positive emotion from its captor in order to be captured. Just to be possessed, _Syaoran-kun._ Very often this is love. There were many artifacts that demand the same price. These people are never the same. Imagine what the price is to actually use it. He did not want you to change, Syaoran, and he was so afraid you would, that the Nothing would kill your heart."

This time Syaoran looked more guilty. "I don't feel different."

" _Iie,_ " Kaho agreed, "but you also didn't use it to its full power. It ate that sorcerer's spells, which sufficed as payment, but the Nothing consumes,  _Syaoran-kun_." She took his free hand. "You are a child. Children make mistakes. It is the responsibility of adults to guide them and protect them when they can. Eriol will not remain angry with you. Not for this. I know you wanted to be useful."  _I am not helpless!_ Syaoran had shouted. "He's not perfect either, and he let his fear get the best of him, but he really does love you, more than you can possibly know. Please don't hate him for what happened."

Syaoran looked skeptical again.

She was not going to convince him in one sitting. Kaho let the matter go for now.

"Let's get you something to eat," she suggested, and rose. 

* * *

"She should wake up eventually," said Kerberus.

"How eventually?" Touya demanded.

"Let her rest," said Yue. "She's very depleted. She's cast a lot of cards in a short period of time."

Sakura was unconscious, her body limp in Touya's arms as her brother tucked her into bed.

"I don't know how much of this I can stand."

Yue and Kerberus said nothing.

Touya sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Alright, the kid. The boy. Did they find him?"

They called the mansion. Spinel was the one who answered.

" _Uhhh…hai…we, ano, did find him. He's, ano, in one piece, anyway."_

"What is  _that_ supposed to mean?" Kerberus asked.

 _"Uh, drama."_ Spinel seemed satisfied with this answer.  _"Drama has happened. Not sure what, exactly, happened—still trying to wrap my head around it, but you probably shouldn't come by the mansion today. Eriol-sama's pretty upset."_

"Well, of course he's upset," Touya snorted. "The kid went and risked his life after he was explicitly told  _not_ to. If it were me, I'd beat the living daylights out of him for scaring me like that. I thought for sure he was a goner when he went ahead and jumped. Freaking made me age by fifty years."

Spinel made a very high-pitched noise as if so uncomfortable he was almost in pain.  _"Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii………riiiiiiight, heh, funny, that. Anyway, how's the girl?"_

Sakura woke up after about two hours, very groggy and fatigued. She did not remember much of her capture, thankfully, so they decided not to tell her the details.

"The kid made Hiiragizawa mad," said Touya, "which is frankly  _much_ later than I expected, considering he's such a  _sweetheart_."

Yue's own temper flared. "What has he done lately to make you say  _that_ _?_ He's only risked his life to save your sister, and braved the very real possibility that he might end up in the same hell he still has nightmares about. What does that boy have to do to make you stop thinking of him as the _gaki?_ "

Chastised, Touya muttered, "I was just joking…"

Kerberus gave Yue a considering glance. Yue ignored him.

"Is  _Syaoran-kun_ alright?" Sakura asked, worried.

"Well, it sounds like Hiiragizawa might be ripping him a new one," Kerberus huffed.

"Hoee………" Sakura looked worried and confused.

"It's a good thing," the sun guardian told her. "He needs someone to yell at him for the stunt he pulled. Even I nearly had a heart attack."

"…Oh." Sakura did not get it.

Yue spent the rest of the afternoon intermittently trying to transform back into his false form. Some of the boy's magic did convert, but not enough. He was still stuck. Touya gave him wary looks; he was not as use to Yue as he was to Yukito. He made no comment, however.

As night fell, Sakura was finally oriented enough to call Tomoyo, apologizing for missing their date. After a relatively short conversation, in which Tomoyo informed Sakura that she wanted to come over to see her, Sakura hung up and called Hiiragizawa's mansion.

Spinel answered again, and then handed the phone over to the boy.

" _Syaoran-kun!_ I have you on speaker, by the way.  _Yue-san_ and  _Kero-chan_ are here. Are you alright?"

_"…Shouldn't I be asking you that?"_

"Well, I was told  _Hiiragizawa-kun_ was mad at you."

"… _Does everyone in the whole world know this?!"_

Sakura laughed at this. "Just us."

But the boy was not amused. _"I don't want to talk about it."_

Sakura instantly sobered. "Oh."

_"Are you alright?"_

" _Hai,_ I'm fine. Thanks to you."

_"…Well, try not to waste that."_

At this point, Yue could detect the boy's true feelings behind that cold answer.

So could Sakura, apparently.

 _"_ Is he really that angry?"

_"I don't want to talk about it."_

"Alright. Well, I'm glad you're OK. I'm still a little out of it; they told me I was kind of drained of magic, so I guess it's my turn to feel all cruddy. But I should be better by morning, and then I'll visit you!"

He made a noncommittal sound.  _"I have to go. Try not to get hurt again."_

Kerberus gave Yue a look. "Well, we know already that he's feeling loads better. He's sounding more and more like his usual annoying self."

"He's upset," Yue pointed out. "I wonder what happened."

"Well, whatever it is," Kerberus yawned, "I'm sure we'll find out eventually. Man, I hope things quiet down soon. I don't fancy spending the next few decades dealing with this garbage."

Sakura twisted her lip and said nothing, but she looked like she knew something they did not. Yue considered asking her, but her tired expression compelled him to put this off for later.

There were a lot of things they needed to get on the same page for, after all.


	18. Scars and New Hurts

Yue returned to the mansion expecting a very ill-tempered Hiiragizawa, but for all that Spinel Sun claimed the sorcerer to be angry at his charge, it seemed more like Li was the one that was angry at his warden. The boy looked more like his old self than he did since the Final Judgment, and there was a challenging aspect to his gaze when he looked at Yue, but he was tight-lipped about what transpired. Not that it required much explaining; his face sported an impressive bruise, and both Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun seemed spooked. Only Kaho, who kept close to the boy, seemed to have any equanimity.

Clow had used certain maneuvers to intimidate his enemies, and even to dispose of them, sometimes lethally. He had never struck children, however; not even his own. Though he came from a time when fathers were mainly disciplinarians, Yue had never witnessed him play the part. His eldest son had grown into manhood largely in the absence of his father, and by the time Clow had any significant interaction with him, he was already far too old for such tactics. Even so, Clow had time to practice on Kerberus and Yue, and he had never been anything less than a gentle mentor and nurturer. That Hiiragizawa should strike the boy, even if he was being insolent, seemed entirely out of character.

When he found Hiiragizawa, sitting in the study staring at the opposite wall. Whatever caused his temper to snap was clearly not enough to carry over after the fact. Yue had seen that listless look before, though at the time he had not understood it. He had never imagined Clow would have anything to feel guilty about.

Of course, now Yue knew better.

"Something about the boy," said the moon guardian, "drives one to hurt him, even as one tries to protect him."

Hiiragizawa gave him a humorless smile. "You would know, I suppose."

Yue paused to silently acknowledge that.

"What did he do?"

Hiiragizawa looked away for a moment. "He challenged me to kill him."

Yue was silent. The statement was confusing. Out of context, it seemed an odd thing for the boy to do, even at his most obstinate.

"He is a thoughtless child," Hiiragizawa rubbed his mouth. "But even so, I made my choice long ago."

Yue considered this statement. "You love him."

The sorcerer bowed his head. "It hardly matters now."

"What will you do now?"

"I don't know."

Yue moved toward Hiiragizawa and lowered himself slowly to sit next on the carpet next to his chair.

"The thing is," Hiiragizawa lamented, "it's still my fault. He is the way he is, and I know it. I've always known. And he did not hesitate when Sakura was in danger, even though every fiber of his being wanted to flee, to hide. He is so. But we got along, and I thought he trusted me, and would have faith that we would handle things, would listen when I warned against using the card. I took things as they were. He was such an obedient child otherwise. That he should throw caution to the wind…is just so  _typical_ of his kind of personality. Stupid. He's ten years old—what ten-year-old truly has a grasp on the idea of consequences? And it's just like him to choose not to care, so long as he could save others. If I had bothered to think, I would have handled it better."

"You were afraid," Yue said quietly, thinking about that moment when they realized the boy had jumped. "We all were."

"I don't think I can gain his trust again. I don't know, honestly, if I ever had it. He was always asking to go home, as if we were holding him hostage." He breathed in. "I tried saying it, but…I couldn't, really. His mother still has claim on him, so I could never say that this was his home, that he should view this as his true home, even though I wanted to." He shook his head. "And he doesn't know…couldn't understand that…I remember everything Clow did, Clow thought, Clow felt. Madoushi. Elda. Miyu. They're not known to others, but I remember them. I remember the first meetings, the many escapades we had, how innocent we all were, how hopeful. You tell yourself that people change and that is what life does. But if I have to stop Syaoran, or…or…kill…I don't know if I can bear it." He bent forward and held his face in his hands. "Time couldn't even heal Clow's wounds, and I'm not Clow Reed. I can't even…"

The Nothing. Despite the boy's relative comfort in this bonding process, Hiiragizawa was, perhaps, even more concerned about this one card than he was about the other fifty-two. He had called James Cooper over to examine the child even though it was obvious the boy's moon magic was gone and his left eye lost vision.

 _Because the Nothing takes._ Hiiragizawa had mentioned as much. But the Nothing was not the only source of power to take this way. Many people in Clow's life became corrupted by their abilities. Yue did not recognize all the names, but he could remember sporadic moments that had escaped his comprehension at the time, how sad Clow had been instead of angry.  _"He was an old friend,"_ Yue could recall, or  _"She was not always this way. She was kind, selfless, and brought beauty to others,"_ and the gentleness in which Clow had handled the bodies of some of his enemies.

_Clow was not a happy man._

"He does not seem worse for wear," Yue mused.

" _Iie._ I stopped him before he could go too far. He already went too far. He was about to go further." Hiiragizawa sighed. "When Clow was ten years old, he allowed the adults to handle everything. What is this world, that a boy would feel the need to jump off a building?"

"Will you tell him?" Yue asked. "Just explain. The boy is no simpleton."

"I don't know," Hiiragizawa continued to cover his face. "I don't want him to be scared of me. I don't know if telling him would give him more reason or less. He would think I stand ready with an axe as soon as he steps out of line, and…I'm really not. I don't know what I would do, if it were Syaoran. Clow probably could but…I can't."

Yue came to a decision. "We won't let him succumb."

Hiiragizawa let out a breathless laugh. "Syaoran already showed a propensity to ruin any plan we make."

"He might not have to pay the same price, if he does not come from the same place," Yue suggested.

"You have no idea how much I hope that's the case. But wishing doesn't make this so, and the consequences are too dire."

"He's still here," said Yue, and that was what truly mattered, now. "He's here and he's relatively unharmed. He is recovering from before. There is time to talk to him. He is smart. We can make him understand."

"It's not even the lack of understanding," said Hiiragizawa, "it's that given the choice, he'd take the risk, consequences be damned. What he does  _not_ understand is that he hurts more than himself if that happens, but that's not something that can simply be said and done with."

Yue was silent.

Hiiragizawa sighed again, and changed the topic. "Have you tried transforming?"

" _Hai._ "

"Still not working."

"It's holding steady, like a rock," Yue stretched out his hand. "It is decreasing, but slowly."

"Might be a while, then."

"Hm."

Hiiragizawa pressed his fingers to Yue's forehead to display the aura. "I wonder what he was," he stated as he looked. "James would be better at reading this than I, though he had difficulty reading his aura when it was on his person. Mixed with yours…all it tells us is how it reacts with moon magic." He allowed the aura to recede. "It does not appear to be harming you, however."

" _Iie._ " Yue felt quite well, better than he had for a long time.

Hiiragizawa bent to press his forehead against Yue's. "Syaoran would be a better master for you, I think."

Yue did not argue. He was starting to agree. "Will you make him bond with the rest of the cards, then?"

"I won't  _make_ him, but I think that will happen, regardless. I don't know if he will listen to me, at this point…but perhaps you or Kaho might convince him that this would be for the best."

Yue looked down, considering.

"He'd be a pain to protect though, the little rascal. He might live for a very long time, if he had a better sense of self-preservation."

A burst of pain swelled in Yue's chest. "I can't go through that again," he exclaimed before thinking. Just the idea of it, of getting close to a master, only for him to leave Yue behind—the first time nearly destroyed Yue. He could not bear the thought.

Hiiragizawa reached out to cup the back of the guardian's head. "Then tell him so, when the time comes."

"Would that change anything?" Yue looked at him. "Would Clow have stayed, if I had asked?"

"I don't know," said Hiiragizawa, "but he would not have left you the way he did. There were many things Clow did not know, even living as long as he did. But I suppose we'll never know. He thought you might fall in love with Sakura. He thought Sakura would become Card Mistress."

Yue looked away.

"The future is fluid," Hiiragizawa sighed. "Syaoran is like no other sorcerer. Very likely, he'd be able to give you what even Clow Reed could not."

"I miss Clow," Yue said quietly.

Part of him wished, hoped, that Hiiragizawa would  _be_ Clow Reed. There were some parts of him that were definitely new, and not at all like his past incarnation, but the eyes were the same, and some mannerisms were the same, and Yue missed him  _so so much._ After thousands of years, it even made sense if Clow Reed would not be exactly as he remembered, that he would have had new experiences and new memories that would change him.

But Clow Reed loved Yue. And it seemed Hiiragizawa did not. Yue could not bear to hear the confirmation, even as he yearned to hear the opposite.

"I wish I could be Clow Reed for you," was all Hiiragizawa said. "He would have been proud of you, to see you as you are now."

"I failed the boy." The knowledge haunted him. "I failed him when he was my master."

"That was not your fault. You are only so powerful, and so wise. Some mistakes are meant to be made." Yue felt the sorcerer's fingers run through his hair. "The child is alive, and he is strong. Clow was a father to you, and you a child. Syaoran would look to you as a mentor, and that, my beautiful angel, is the most wondrous thing. To have a life, precious, and yours in a way nothing else can be." His voice grew increasingly thoughtful, though sad. "You could love him, the way even his mother and I cannot. He would love you back in a way Clow never would have."

"He does not love me."

Hiiragizawa's eyes were distant. "If fate is kind, he will. But I can't help you with that. This is something you'll have to find on your own."

* * *

Syaoran was not sure if he was still welcome in the mansion, but no one gave any indication that he should start packing. Not that he had much to pack. Kaho stayed with him for most of the day, sitting with him to watch a movie, and then ushering him to Ruby Moon so he could go to bed. Syaoran could not be certain what was going on, but it seemed like everyone was just ignoring what happened and pretending that everything was normal.

Which… _alright, I can do that. For now._ Only Eriol kept his distance, and Syaoran wished dearly that he had not…well, mouthed back. Not that he actually made a conscious decision to do so; Eriol was Clow, not to mention he was also Eriol, and those were two reasons Syaoran practically idolized him without even including the fact that he was sheltering Syaoran and keeping him safe. He had no idea why Eriol was even angry at him, at the time. What did he do wrong? He  _had_ knownthat the Nothing was not meant to be used, but surely there were exceptions for everything, not to mention Syaoran had _already_ used it after bonding with it, and nothing bad had happened. It was not like Syaoran  _meant_ to be bad, considering he really was just trying to help, and considering he had  _met_ the Nothing in person and she was not so bad, just lonely and a tiny bit creepy, and he was supposed to be the owner, and all he was trying to do was to stop the man who was hurting Sakura. He could not even understand two thirds of what Eriol had shouted at him, just that the sorcerer was yelling at him, and Eriol was Clow Reed, and Clow Reed was yelling at him, making the same kind of accusations that Syaoran had heard all his life, and Syaoran suddenly just wanted to give up trying.

Which was all very hard to explain, and quite dumb, if Syaoran really thought about it.

And then Eriol hit him.

He still was not sure what he said to provoke that.

But Eriol did not tell his guardians to stop speaking to Syaoran, and Ruby Moon still fawned over him and generally made Syaoran feel cared for. He truthfully felt even more lost about his place in this group than he ever did, but he had nowhere else to go. He made a note to try to behave himself more and not give them a reason to do away with him for real.

Yue had come back, something that Ruby Moon was very unhappy with. "Who does he think he is?" she griped as she cuddled close to him once the lights were off. "Just because he can't transform? Why doesn't  _Eriol-sama_ just transform him and let him go home? Waiting for it to convert. He's always making such a big deal of Yue."

"You're jealous," Syaoran noted.

"I'm not  _jealous,_ " Ruby spat. "Why would I be jealous of that old coot? Always pining after Clow. The man's been dead for thousands of years and he's still not over it."

"Really?" Syaoran blinked.

"Really. He  _loved_ Clow. Still does. Supposedly, when Clow died Yue remained by his grave for weeks. Declared to his son afterwards that he would never love anyone again. Pathetic."

"That's sad," Syaoran remarked, meaning something else entirely. "Where is Clow's grave anyway?"

"I don't know. You can ask  _Eriol-sama_. Why?"

 _Ask Eriol? I can't do that…_ "Just curious. It's been thousands of years."

"Hm. Well, it's all dust and bones by now. Anyway, his partner Kerberus got over it, I don't see what his problem is. And why he has to hang around  _here_. He has his own house. Go home and get lost."

"Eriol has Clow's memories," said Syaoran, "maybe he just wanted to be close, especially if he had been that hurt."

"Ugh, after a couple thousand years? Give me a break."

"Well, what would happen if Eriol died?" Syaoran asked. "Wouldn't you be sad too?"

"I wouldn't mope for thousands of years," Ruby declared.

She was irritated all night, which meant Syaoran did not sleep very well. At length, Syaoran suggested they go flying again. Ruby was eager, but as they opened the window, Syaoran suddenly thought of Yue, who was still in the house, the same house he had spent with Clow, probably feeling very lonely. Eriol was always declaring that he was not Clow Reed and yet he possessed all his memories—why would he not be Clow Reed? It must be so confusing for the guardian. It certainly got confusing for Syaoran, who did not have the additional crisis of having known Clow Reed in the past.

"Do you think Yue would want to join us?"

"That bore? Ugh, he'd be such a killjoy."

"Can you catch him?" Syaoran raised his eyebrows.

Ruby Moon could never resist such a challenge, though she refused to be the one to extend the invitation, leaving Syaoran to brave going downstairs to where Yue was staring out the back yard through the glass doors. In the moonlight, the guardian looked ethereal and imposing, and Syaoran suddenly felt awkward and unwieldy. Maybe Yue would not appreciate going flying with them; he never seemed to like Syaoran and did not seem to like Ruby Moon.

Well, Yue had been very kind, these past few days.

Well, maybe because he just felt sorry for Syaoran, like everyone had these days.

_Well…_

Yue turned his head around. "Is something wrong?"

Syaoran wavered.  _Be brave. What is he going to do, try to kill you? Under Eriol's roof? Well would Eriol even stop him now?_ His face still hurt from the slap. The ice had reduced the swelling, but it still felt tender.  _What possessed you to mouth back at him?_ But Syaoran really had no idea what he was doing, at the time.

Yue lowered himself slowly to a crouch, extending a hand. "Come here."

There it was again, that gesture, as if the guardian liked him. Or at least, did not mind talking to him. Syaoran approached, reaching out to take that hand, but Yue looped that long arm around Syaoran's waist and tucked him close.

"Ruby and I are going flying," he told Yue, "we were wondering if you'd like to join."

"You should be sleeping," Yue remarked.

Syaoran looked at the back yard. "Too restless to sleep."

The guardian reached up to touch his cheek. "He did not mean to hurt you."

That was what Kaho had said. Eriol had certainly looked mad enough to want to.

Syaoran chose to change the topic. "Is it hard, being here?"

Yue lowered his free hand. The other arm continued to embrace him, but the guardian looked at Syaoran with an inscrutable expression, and Syaoran grew nervous.

" _Gomen nasai._ "

"You said nothing wrong," Yue looked away. "It hasn't gotten easier." His pale eyes flickered in the moonlight as he gazed out into the yard again. "Clow was my whole world…it hurt more because he did not have to leave, or so it seemed, at the time. I felt as if he abandoned me."

Syaoran turned in that arm, and wrapped his own around Yue's neck. He knew what it felt like, to be abandoned. The guardian's other arm reached around to complete the circle.

" _Gomen nasai_ ,' Yue whispered. "I was not good to you. I chose you in mind, but not in heart. If you're willing, we can start over. Is that alright, Syaoran?"

 _Start over?_ As in, get the Clow Cards back? And perhaps life would always be like this, Yue in his life, holding him like this, warm and safe, with the moonlight chasing away shadows.

Yue, eyes cold, pushing him violently back from the door, and then sending him forcefully to sleep, because Syaoran was too annoying to deal with while awake.

_But you need the cards to go home to Hong Kong._

He drew back to look at Yue. Yue gazed back. Syaoran had no idea what he was thinking, why he was being so kind. He wanted—the idea of Yue being there for him, it seemed wondrous. He recalled stories they use to tell him, of Clow's brilliant creations, amazing, sentient, beautiful. When he came to Tomoeda to capture the cards, he had known peripherally that there was a chance he might meet the two guardians. It had been somewhat disappointing on multiple fronts. Kerberus, of course, was just irritating to be with. Yue was frankly very intimidating, and Syaoran could not ignore the fact that the guardian could kill him if he wanted. That first morning after the Final Judgment, seeing Tsukishiro all of the sudden when the last thing he remembered was learning that Yue did not  _sleep_. He had not thought about it again until Yue punished him for trying to leave the apartment. And then Syaoran had never stopped thinking about it, until everything went wrong, and he became wrong.

"Syaoran," Yue whispered, noticing his silence, "are you still afraid of me?"

 _Hai._ Suddenly, Syaoran felt trapped. Yue's arms were still around him, loose but very present.

" _Syaoran-chan?"_ Ruby poked her head around the corner. "What's taking so long? Does he want to go flying or not?"

Syaoran jerked his head back. " _Ano…_ " Yue never said. He pulled back, and Yue let him go. He hurried to Ruby's side. Ruby pulled him close, noting his skittishness.

"What happened?" she asked, and then glared at Yue. "Did he hurt you?"

" _Iie._ " That was long ago. Syaoran could get over it, but he suddenly wished he did not invite Yue to go flying after all.

"I'll stay here," said Yue, looking at Syaoran with that inscrutable expression again.

"Hm!" Ruby Moon took Syaoran by the hand to lead him away. "Whatever."

* * *

Sakura felt more like herself the following morning. She first called the mansion, but learned that Syaoran was having a late sleep-in yet again. She then went over to Tomoyo's, who was happy to see her best friend again. They joined up with Chiharu, Naoko, and Rika later in the day, and spent several hours in King Penguin Park, with Sakura on her roller blades and Chiharu playing a yo-yo.

"How is  _Li-kun_ doing?" Rika asked. "He still hasn't really come out, according to  _Yamazaki-kun._ "

"He's better," said Sakura. "Actually, let me give him a call, maybe he's, _ano_ , awake."

A very sleepy-sounding Syaoran informed her that he had been flying with Ruby again that night, but he sounded eager to leave the house. It seemed Hiiragizawa was still mad at him.

He showed up with a bruise on one cheek. When Tomoyo asked him about it, he said it was because he fell. Which…was…odd, because it had been a while since Syaoran left the hospital and he was no longer quite that weak. Of course, he could have gotten it while they got Sakura away from that Takeshi sorcerer, but Sakura could have sworn Spinel said Syaoran had been left on the roof.

Mizuki had come with him, and then dropped him off.

Syaoran did not like being alone, Sakura remembered.

"You're looking a lot better," Chiharu noted; she was right. There was a familiar light in Syaoran's eyes now, and he seemed more alert and engaged. " _Mizuki-sensei_ is taking good care of you?"

Mizuki, of course, was Syaoran's official guardian, something that had all the students feeling either envious or weirded out.

"She's fine," Syaoran looked away. "How have you been? Are you ready for school to start?"

" _Iie!_ " Rika laughed. "No talk of school! I don't want to think about it!"

"But what are  _you_ going to do?" Naoko asked. "Are you going to start earlier, maybe, to make up for what you've missed?"

"I haven't heard," Syaoran replied. "Maybe."

" _Mizuki-sensei_ didn't tell you?"

" _Iie."_

"She probably wanted him to concentrate on recovering," said Sakura.

"That makes sense," Chiharu agreed. "Well, either way you'll be fine. You're the smartest in our class."

"I don't think that's true."

"Of course you are. Everyone knows."

Syaoran blushed.

It was nice to hang out with friends without the cloud of magic over them. Chiharu let Syaoran play with the yo-yo; he mastered the basics but was terrible at tricks, more so because he did not seem to have the patience for it. Yamazaki joined them later; he had seen Syaoran, and wanted to come say hi.

"What happened to your face?"

"I fell."

"Did _Chiharu-san_ trip you?"

" _Nani?!"_ Chiharu exclaimed. "Why would I trip  _Li-kun?_ "

"Most people don't know," Yamazaki told them in a stage-whisper, "but _Chiharu-san_ is actually evil. Evilllllllll."

"Why you—!" Chiharu grabbed Yamazaki by the collar and started choking him. "I'll show you evil! You want to know what evil looks like?"

Syaoran laughed.

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"You just laughed," Chiharu said stupidly, still holding onto Yamazaki, whose eyes had also opened.

Syaoran flushed, but he did not stop smiling. "I missed you guys."

He looked very handsome when he smiled.

"We missed you too," Rika told him. "Now that you're feeling better, we should hang out more before school starts."

" _Hai!_ We should!" Chiharu let go of Yamazaki. "We don't have a lot of time left, so we should meet every day!"

* * *

_"I got in touch with this Russian sorceress, Elizaveta Lebedeva. Apparently Lamb's been getting blackmailed by this Scottish bloke; it's this boring thing where she's been having an affair and et cetera et cetera. He, in turn, is also getting blackmailed by this twat in Stockholm, something about having murdered a high-profile sorcerer back in the eighties. The German regularly frequents Lebedeva's shop to buy something called Baba Yaga Elixir. That must be quite some elixir, and it doesn't sound healthy for you. Anyway, long story short, Lamb's had to awaken something for the Scottish bloke in order for him to get some ingredient for that German bloke, and accidentally caused a village in Luxembourg to get stuck in time. She's been trying to harvest moon magic in order to undo it."_

Eriol rolled his eyes. "She is  _just_ powerful enough to pull a stunt like that."

_"I know, right? And that Stockholm one, he has another story altogether, though that's too far removed. Anyway, Lebedeva offered to help with the Kikutake; apparently she had always wanted to visit Japan, too. She's asking if it's alright if she came by to help you."_

"Why does Lebedeva want to get involved in this mess? She hardly needs my permission to just visit Japan."

_"Business. She wants a relationship. People don't know you're Clow Reed, but your two guardians sure turned a few heads back in London, and word got out. Maybe you have room in your life for some Baba Yaga Elixir. Baba Yaga Elixir: Perfect for getting rid of naughty children. Actually I don't know what it does but it can't be pleasant if it's called **that**."_

"No. I don't want her near Syaoran."  _God and I had hit the child._ Eriol did not need any reminders. "If she wants to make herself useful, she can go to Luxembourg to sort out Lamb's mess."

_"Well, she doesn't want to go to Luxemburg. I'll tell her that you're taking care of it, then, but maybe you can talk to Lamb yourself, if this is what's going on. Doesn't sound like she's in the position to make too many demands right now."_

"I'll consider it, thanks."

_"How's the little one doing?"_

Eriol closed his eyes. "He's been worse. We had an incident here after you left; someone targeted Sakura for the Clow Cards."

_"Oh no! Did he get hurt?"_

"Not from the sorcerer, no. He's physically fine."

_"Ah. That's good. I like that kid; he's got spirit. You can tell, he's not going to stay down for long. Say, are you planning on taking him back to London with you?"_

Eriol's stomach plummeted. "I don't know."

_"Still haven't decided? Mate, you should probably make a decision soon. What about the Clow Cards? I haven't learned anything on my end, though Anne is looking."_

"We're leaning towards trying it, once he's ready. Things are complicated right now."

_"OK. Well, I'll let you know if I learn anything. Anne might call you directly, come to think of it. I'm flying out tomorrow, so negotiating the timezones is going to be ever so fun. Watch yourself, Eriol. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."_

_Too late._ "Thanks, James."

Later, after Syaoran came back home, he called Kaho to tell her that she would have to be responsible for the boy that evening, as Eriol intended on taking his guardians with him to have another look at the Kikutake.

"Don't do anything rash." She looked at him, worried.

"I don't intend to succumb to the likes of that particular group," he told her. "Let me know if there is any trouble here."

Ruby Moon was ready for some violence.

"No holding back?" she asked hopefully.

"No holding back."

"You're in a mood,  _Eriol-sama_ ," Spinel noted.

"I am," Eriol said readily. "And I intend to show it to its fullest."


	19. Hope and Dash

_"Bloody mongrel," people called him. His mother only smiled. "Not destined for the little pleasures in life," said she. "One such as thee must do great things, which no one can deny. But Heaven smileth upon thee, the greatest magician of all time." But the fan she sewed all her life was not his, she said. "One must not have everything, or he would have nothing," she said._

_"Why **you**?!" Madoushi cried. "Why is it you? What have you done, to earn such a gift?" and over the decades came the same plaintive cry: "Clow Reed is stronger than any that has come, or will ever come again. Yet he offers no wisdom or relief. What purpose does he serve?" In the east, Confucius lay beneath stone. The sarira of Siddartha Gautama lay sealed in temples in the south. To the west, crosses decorated buildings and hung around the necks of those who prayed. Their deeds raised whole civilizations into glory. Yet Clow Reed was only vengeance, the punisher of sinners, and rained destruction on those who dared to defy him. He and his guardians, the jeweled winged lion, the silver angel, and between the sun and moon they crushed all upon the earth. It was strange, for there were others with mixed parentage, and none of them were of Clow's ilk; the full power of the sun and moon. Why was he here? But the Oracle at Delphi gave no answers. "The gods have nothing to say," said she. Across the continents, the fortune tellers read the stars but shook their heads. "They know of your coming, but say nothing further." The rest was up to him._

_He went by his mother, who taught him compassion, love and responsibility, loyalty and faith. She showed him a world that was filled with beautiful things, but constantly brushing off the dust and murk that threatens to cloud it. "The world is like a room, and oft needs sweeping." But one by one his friends abandoned him, and those who loved him were still swept away in the tide. Those who cheered him on stripped at his heart and mind, fanning his power while dismissing his person. He sought to shape the world into his ideal paradise, and the world showed him it was ultimately stronger._

_On his deathbed, they whispered, the ghosts of those he loved but stopped loving him, the ghosts of those who loved him but he did not love back, and the ghosts of those he loved but not well. "The greatest magician of all time, and still there are those stronger than thee! Make way, for thy mortal eyes see but mortal things!" And spirits, some black as night, some pale as the moon, swirled and danced in the glittering cosmos. "The world is ours, and so are you. Your powers are but infantile tricks. There are those that are, and those that are not, and those that are neither. How far can you go?" Fire, Wind, Water, Earth. "All that power, and still he dies. That is the way of all things. Try living longer, greatest magician of all time. Try and spread your time like butter, until all turns to ash." And his hope: Yue, Cerberus, that daughter from across time. Clow wanted to reach for them, but his heart was cold, and could not burn with love again. Never was there a more helpless man than the greatest magician of all time._

* * *

They studied more of the Kikutake, tracing their movements and activities. He wanted a way to dispose of the staff, but the _ounusa_ was kept out of sight and out of use, presenting no opening for them.

When Lamb visited Youta again, Eriol noted an opportunity, and accosted her after she left him.

"Miss Lamb," he greeted her. "I see that you are keeping a different sort of company lately."

She looked at him, and then at his guardians. "I know of those two, but I do not know you."

"Eriol Hiiragizawa. You may call me H. I've an offer to make."

"Oh this is  _rich._ "

"You made a little mess in Luxembourg," Eriol stepped forward. "I can help you with that."

"You?" Lamb scanned him with her eyes. She did not comment on the fact that he looked like a child; she was not such a simpleton. "Your magic is that of the sun. This isn't something you can fix."

"Not with sun magic, no. But I have moon magic at my disposal. The same place she came from," and Eriol extended his hand to indicate Ruby Moon, who smirked at her. "I can help free time, but you need to do something for me."

"Always conditions," Lamb sneered, "but I suppose that is the best you can do. What do you want?"

"I want Kikutake's staff."

"No deal. I don't know you. I have no idea if you can deliver on any bargain."

Eriol closed his eyes. "Allow me to rephrase."

At his silent gesture, Ruby Moon lunged forward. She was too fast for Lamb to avoid, and quickly had the sorceress in her hold. Ruby Moon then brought the woman to Eriol.

"Thousands of years ago," Eriol murmured, as she struggled in the guardian's grasp, "there was a powerful sorcerer named Clow Reed. He had the full power of both western and eastern magic, passed down by his parents, and had the ability to make new life, to command the elements, to reshape time, and to banish souls. Do you know what that looks like, Beatrice Lamb? See, here."

He released his full strength. His magical symbol glowed underneath him. Thousands of years ago, this was Clow's seal. All magicians of repute knew it well. With this power, magic harkened, and responded to his call. They swirled to him, and the fabric of reality rippled.

Before them, a gateway opened, opening to pitch black. Eriol waved at Ruby Moon, who plunged Lamb's head through the portal. Her body thrashed, growing increasingly desperate as the seconds passed. Eriol waved again, and the guardian drew the sorceress back. Lamb's hair was in disarray, and her eyes were wide with terror.

Eriol grabbed a fistful of those ginger locks to raise her face up. "I can send you there for the rest of your miserable existence,  _sorceress._ Do you understand me?"

She trembled. "What do you want?"

"The staff, Lamb."

"Why do you want the staff?!"

"Because it was used to harm a child who is precious to me." Eriol tilted his head. "Do we have an accord?"

"I can't! You don't understand, that staff belongs to a demon—" Eriol's fist tightened, and she shuddered and cried louder, "it's a demon that powers it! Not even you can destroy it, and if you take it from them it will know and hunt you down, and Heaven help you if it finds you! Please, I can't!"

Eriol considered her. She was not his favourite person; she was rather despicable, in many ways, but she was also not the worst person he had ever come across. She was trying to clean up her own mess, in the stupidest way possible, but she did not deserve to die for this, let alone whatever the demon may do.

"Who's this demon?" Spinel asked.

" _Ma-ou,"_ she whispered.

The Demon King. Eriol released her. That was too great an evil for even Clow Reed to overcome, let alone Eriol Hiiragizawa, who wanted nothing to do with saving the world or bettering it with his substantial powers. He turned away from her.

 _Ma-ou._ There were few things in this life that were Eriol's own. He had come into the world in the shadow of his past self. Despite trying his best to leave it behind, he could not help but venture close to all the things that were close to Clow Reed. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, two guardians he had hoped would replace Yue and Cerberus in his mind, but even they were reflections of those creations Clow had made and tenderly nurtured. Kaho was really the first that Eriol could call his own. Wise and beautiful, he had been content to have only her. Then Li Syaoran showed up, unexpected, unpredicted, and Eriol wanted  _dearly_ to exert all his power to protect and care for that child, and unleash the full extent of his wrath on those that dared to harm him…

_Xiaolang. I fail you, even in this._

He could not touch the Kikutake. Not where it mattered.

"Let her go," he said quietly.

 _Vengeance,_ he thought,  _really does not pay._  

" _Eriol-sama?"_ Spinel inquired.

"We're done here," Eriol looked at the sorceress, still in Ruby's hold.

Lamb stared at him, terrified and hopeful.

"You're on your own," he said to her.

* * *

Eriol and the guardians had gone out for some errand, during which time Kaho stayed in the mansion to watch after Syaoran. Yue was always around, presumably because his magic would not allow him to transform into his false form, but Syaoran had a feeling the guardian was also there to keep an eye on Syaoran while Eriol was away. Their interactions were largely awkward; most of the time Yue just stared at Syaoran, which would prompt Syaoran to leave the room to avoid him. Sometimes the guardian would just summon Syaoran to him, and then for some reason Syaoran would always obey. He would allow Yue to hold him, but nothing would really come out of it—Yue would just ask him how he was doing, Syaoran would say he was fine, and then they would fall silent. It was almost as if Yue just wanted to hug something and decided Syaoran was available and small enough.

Syaoran never imagined Yue was the hugging type, but he wondered if maybe Clow's death had changed Yue and made him more cold and distant. He could never imagine Yue being much more outgoing, but Yukito's personality came from somewhere. If he really tried, he could at least picture a more child-like Yue, newly created and awkward and uncertain like a newborn fawn, perhaps regularly seeking comfort from Clow as he learned more and more about this strange world he had entered.

Despite himself, after a while Syaoran started feeling a little more comfortable with the moon guardian. In a way, being with Yue was nicer than being with Ruby; she was always moving, talking, and was noisy and restless. Yue was calm, still, and after a while Syaoran realized that he really did not have to talk or make conversation with the guardian: the guardian did not really expect him to. Their interactions became moments of quiet contemplation, and Syaoran stopped wondering what Yue was thinking or what he wanted. It was kind of boring though, and at one point Syaoran even fell asleep—he had just eaten lunch, his belly was full, and he had wanted to take a nap anyway. He had a dream that they went to the Summer Palace in Beijing, and Sakura was with him, and his mother was buying them fruit candy while his sisters were taking photos of each other at the statue of the bronze bull, and Syaoran was…happy. There were pandas strolling around, and Syaoran would pick one up and snuggle, and it would squeak. Pandas were cute. People said some nonsensical things that Syaoran could not understand, but that quiet contentment persisted. There was only one short moment when something interrupted the mood: he dreamed that Yue was hugging him tightly—squeezing him, in fact, and the guardian was crying as he pressed Syaoran hard against him.  _"Don't leave,"_ he whispered, and wet poured down his fair face.  _"Please don't leave. Don't die. Take us back. Take them back. Just please don't leave at the end, I can't bear it. Not again."_  Syaoran wanted to reach up to comfort him, but his arms were pinned down by Yue's own hold.  _I won't leave,_ Syaoran wanted to say, feeling bewildered.  _Why would I leave? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?_ He started to get worried, but then felt the angel's lips against his forehead, and then Yue exhaled,  _"Shhhhhhhhhh…"_ which sank Syaoran back to idle dreams: going to school, sitting in class by the sunlit window, flying over sheep—why sheep, he could not say. Everything was nice, and when he woke he found himself alone in his room, in his bed with the covers tucked around him.

He tried to imagine Yue doing this after disposing of him, but then figured it was probably Kaho.

There was something sad about Yue after that, or at least he looked sad every time Syaoran looked him. He wondered if that vision in the dream was a message, somehow; it certainly changed the way Syaoran saw him. He remarked on this to Kaho, who just smiled at him.

"Interesting, isn't it," she commented, "the people who are the most sorrowful, often don't look it."

Yue eventually was able to transform, and he left the mansion once he did. Just before, however, Syaoran summoned the courage to give into his curiosity, and approached Yue first. It was late at night, and Syaoran had roused from visions of the tomb again, his stomach turning with disquiet. Yue was downstairs, looking out the back yard, when Syaoran came down for a glass of water. Kaho was, of course, still sleeping, and the rest of the mansion was quiet. Syaoran looked at Yue's fair profile, considered it, and decided to venture close. In the moonlight, Yue's face was hard to see, but the smile was clearly visible as he crouched down to gather Syaoran close. He did not ask any questions; neither of them spoke. Syaoran wrapped his arms around the guardian's neck, and Yue's arms tightened in response. He embraced Syaoran hard, with increasing fervor, and though he was not crying, it was familiar enough that Syaoran wondered if the dream had been a reflection of what was happening in the waking world, before Yue and Kaho put him to bed.

They stayed for a long time this way, enough that Syaoran ended up drifting off. He dreamed of nice things again, school lunches in the cafeteria, Sakura spinning him in a circle while Tomoyo filmed, Kero whining about the lack of chocolate, but not biting Syaoran or yelling at him.

This time, Yue did not put him to bed; Syaoran woke in the morning still cradled in the guardian's arms, and the guardian was sitting against the wall with Syaoran in his lap, head touching Syaoran's and eyes closed—asleep.

* * *

 When Eriol, Ruby, and Spinel returned, Syaoran started having severe nightmares. Harsh hands and magic, tugging out of him, ripping. He would wake in tears, and Ruby Moon would hush him, and they would go flying to take his mind off of things. Maybe it was because of Eriol; so far the other sorcerer had yet to talk to him directly. Considering this mansion belonged to him and not Kaho, Syaoran found himself at a loss. But the nightmares seemed to get more and more violent, and he was so exhausted now, he was starting to fall asleep in the middle of the day.

"I can cast the Dream Card," Sakura suggested, after Syaoran zoned out while she was visiting. "If it's the nightmares…"

"I wish they would just go away," Syaoran looked away. "I'm so sick of them."

"I know," she looked sadly at him. "Look, I'll leave the Dream card with you. You can use it to dream about something nice instead."

The Dream card lifted from his hand when he took it, and fluttered around him in a single circle before lowering itself back into his hand.

"I think it's saying hello," Sakura suggested.

The Dream had been one of the cards Syaoran initially captured. There was a touch of familiarity with the card; it probably  _was_ saying hello. Syaoran was not sure what to make of this.

"I think they miss you," Sakura said.

She had been pointedly trying to get him to accept the cards, something that Syaoran felt very touching, considering this could not be easy for her. He wanted to go home to Hong Kong, and knew he would likely not be able to return until he had the cards back. But so much had happened, and he did not  _feel_ ready. Not when he still woke in tears all the time, and felt like he might shatter with a flash of shadow or a whisper of cruel words.

He would probably have to get them eventually, since the Nothing was supposed to balance them and no one felt comfortable breaking the bond he had with that card, but for now he wanted as much time as possible to piece himself together.

Still, he did miss them, too.

"You're still somewhat bonded with the cards," Kero pointed out. "You wouldn't even need Sakura to cast it for you."

Syaoran and the sun guardian have somewhat of an odd relationship right now. They were politely civil to one another but very uncomfortable, and both tended to try to avoid the other if possible. Syaoran was much more comfortable with Spinel Sun, who had a tendency to just ignore him, even when he was being ridiculous—other than that one time when Syaoran had braved the basement. Spinel had taken that as a hint to never get involved again.

So far it seemed to be working.

"Does this mean I'm still bonded to you two?" Syaoran asked.

"It should."

 _Then why did Yue run out of magic?_ Syaoran frowned, but did not want to make Sakura feel bad. 

"What did  _Mizuki-sensei_ say about going back to school?" Sakura asked.

Kaho had been ambivalent when Syaoran had approached her, partially because he had first asked if he was going to return to Hong Kong before the start of the trimester.  _"Do you feel ready for school?"_  she had asked. _"There's no reason to torment yourself if you need more time."_ When Syaoran insisted that he had to try—he was behind enough as it was, the sorceress then said,  _"Well, let's find out where you'll be, first of all. If your mother has not settled things in Hong Kong yet, would you be alright with coming to England with us?"_

Why Eriol would even want to bring Syaoran with him to England was bemusing enough; the sorcerer had not spoken a word to Syaoran since the incident.

 _"Is he really planning on bringing me to England?"_ Syaoran had asked, to which Kaho had replied,  _"I wouldn't say planning, but it's on the table."_ When Syaoran pointed out how absurd this was, Kaho told him seriously,  _"Syaoran, Eriol loves you very much. Whatever else, you need to believe that."_

In other words, according to Kaho, Syaoran might be going to school in London. Which…was kind of brilliant, if it were not absolutely insane.

"She doesn't know. And I guess…I'll have to follow whatever…they have planned for me."

"Maybe you should ask  _Hiiragizawa-kun_ ," Sakura suggested.

_Huh._

Before that, though, there was an afternoon with Takeshi, who had invited Syaoran over to play videogames. Takeshi had this Playstation and was trying to introduce Syaoran to the world of Final Fantasy VII. Syaoran never figured that videogames featured this much reading. It was actually quite exhausting; Syaoran developed a mild headache behind his eyes towards the end, after which Takeshi suggested they take a break, since the game "could take four years to finish". His mother made something of a feast for them; for some reason she was instantly fond of Syaoran. Syaoran had a feeling that Takeshi might have made up some story about him, though the woman had yet to mention anything that Syaoran had to pretend to understand.

"It's very kind of  _Mizuki-sensei_ to take you in," said she. "You must have been quite the capable young man, however. Living on your own for a whole year. I don't think our Takeshi-chan can possibly do it."

"Who knows," Takeshi said easily.

"Do you like pork buns?" his mother asked Syaoran. "If you do, next time  _Oba-san_ will make you some." She was referring to herself as Syaoran's aunt. "You are from Hong Kong, so I imagine you should like pork buns."

"I like pork buns." For some reason, hearing her call herself  _'Oba-san'_ made Syaoran's eyes water a little. He rubbed his eyes, pretending they were irritating him, but he doubted he fooled anyone. Luckily, neither Takeshi nor his mother chose to acknowledge it.

"Then it's settled. This weekend, you must come over."

"He has to come over anyway. There's too much of the game he still has to play. he's barely skimmed the beginning."

"You and your videogames," the woman looked at her son in disapproval.

"It's summer!" Takeshi whined, "am I not allowed to have some fun in the summer?"

It turned out, Takeshi got his story-telling skills from his mother, though she did not make things up the way Takeshi did. At least, Syaoran did not think so. Her tales were a lot more convincing, anyway. When she heard about the potential for Syaoran to go to London, she started talking about the Queen's guard, how they would stand as still as statues no matter what was happening around them—until they started moving, anyway. Presumably they would move if something dangerous were happening.

"Those uniforms are hot and stuffy," she told Syaoran, "I mean they even look it. Those tall hats. And every time they have a ceremony in remotely bearable weather, at least one of them passes out. You'd think they'd get a summer uniform or something; how would they be a formidable defense if they're all suffering from heat stroke? You look in the photos and there's always one of them on the ground. And they collapse on their faces too—you'd think they should fall in all directions but it's usually on the face. How are you supposed to defend your Queen like that?"

Well, some of what she said sounded convincingly real, anyway.

"They store ice in their hats," said Takeshi. "The ones who pass out are the ones who ran out of ice."

"…Wouldn't that make them wet?" Syaoran blinked.

"Of course they don't store ice in their hats," Takeshi's mother dismissed. "You try balancing ice on your head."

"Why do you think those hats are so tall?"

"It's a fashion statement."

Syaoran wished he were smart enough to tell if the mother-son duo were pranking him right now.

"Anyway," Takeshi's mother went on, "you don't have to worry about it. You'd never wear one. Those hats are expensive. They use an entire bear to make one."

 _No way,_ Syaoran thought, with some relief and satisfaction, _those hats are way smaller than bears,_ but it was too impolite to call her out on it.

* * *

Syaoran's magic was still humming in his veins. Yue almost found it harder to maintain his false form than his real one. It was to the point where Yukito did not even want to eat, much to Touya's utter shock.

"Who are you and what have you done to my friend?" the boy demanded.

 Yukito and Yue were both feeling quite good. Yue, of course, was the one with the memories, but Yukito had a mild awareness of them, and was looking forward to seeing Syaoran again. Mostly, it was the realization that Syaoran did not hate Yue or Yukito, and was even open to connecting to them. Eriol's tip about how to handle the boy worked like a dream, and the child's trust felt like a precious gift. After everything that happened, Syaoran really had no reason to trust Yue, and yet he always came when Yue beckoned, and even went to him on his own. Not one to hold a grudge, that boy.

"So you think he might accept the Clow Cards?" Touya asked.

"Maybe." Yue was certainly hopeful.

"Does that mean you'll be going to Hong Kong with him, then?"

The teen asked this casually. Yukito paused at this. It  _was_ something that he had considered, but had not been sure Touya had done so as well. From his behavior, it seemed like he had for a while.

"When he goes,  _hai,_ " Yukito said quietly.

Touya hummed quietly. "I kind of figured," he said. "You'll visit, though?"

"I'm sure."

"Mm." The teen then started looking sad. "Well."

"He'll come back," Yukito assured him. "He still has to teach Sakura how to cast spells. You can even take a few lessons."

"Ugh. I'll pass."

"He just needs to go home for a while. He needs his  _oka-san_. Some rest and recuperation. He's had it hard, this past year. He's just a child and he's had to deal with all of this on his own. Mizuki and Hiiragizawa and the guardians try but it's not the same; he's really needed to go home."

"I know. He's a good kid."

"And it's in the future," said Yukito. "Who knows when Li Yelan will clear matters up over there."

"He better not stir up more trouble, or unveil, or whatever. Ignorance is bliss," Touya grumbled. "I miss ignorance. Life was so much simpler."

Yukito laughed. "Sound judgment, that."

As summer was drawing to a close, the group decided to meet up for a day of fun before school started. There was still no word on whether Syaoran was going to start school in Tomoeda, though everyone just assumed he would, since there was no word from Hong Kong either. Syaoran looked like he could use some levity as well; his countenance was very pallid lately, and though he reported that the Dream card worked wonders, overall he still looked rather unwell. It was agreed that they should go to the natural history museum to do some "normal" things. Hiiragizawa would not be joining them; he had still not mended matters with the boy under his care, but Spinel Sun and Nakuru would be coming with Mizuki.

They convened at the mansion in the morning after breakfast. Touya came with, mostly to see Mizuki and keep an eye on his sister, and Daidouji also joined in, presenting a new dress for Sakura to wear that matched her own outfit, and an ensemble for Syaoran as well.

"How did you know it would fit?" Syaoran asked with some bewilderment mixed with chagrin. Nevertheless, Yukito had to admit that it was actually a good-looking outfit, if very Daidouji. Green top with a Chinese-style collar and intricate patterns in indigo and cerulean. It was made of very airy material, and the pants, which were long and pale gray with green trim, were also soft and silky. He looked very fresh and cool, not to mention very beautiful. Touya, who was initially laughing his head off when Daidouji first presented this to him, actually became speechless when child finally put it on.

" _Kami-sama,_ " said Kerberus.

"You need to eat more," was Ruby's assessment. The outfit made Syaoran look even slimmer than he already was.

"I look like a girl!" Syaoran exclaimed, his cheeks blooming with embarrassment. "No offense,  _Tomoyo-chan_ , but you can't make clothes for me the way you dress up  _Sakura-chan._ You can make her look cute and pretty but I can't go out like this!"

"It's alright," Mizuki said from next to Touya, sounding very amused and fond. "You look very handsome."

"He looks so  _kawaii!_ " Ruby exclaimed. "Why, if I had known that male outfits can look so cute…ehh, probably I still wouldn't. But I'd give it more thought."

" _Sakura-chan_ , go up there and let me take a picture of the two of you," Daidouji ignored Syaoran's protest to push her friend.

Touya finally came out of his stupor. "This," he pointed, "this is a conspiracy—"

But Sakura was already up there, clad in her little pink dress with patterns of white, red, and purple. She sported a similar gray skirt with pink trim. Like Daidouji, she was delighted, and eagerly hugged Syaoran for the photo shoot. Touya sputtered, but could not come up with anything eloquent while Daidouji snapped her camera. Mizuki then offered to take a photo of the three of them; Daidouji was wearing a purple dress that followed a similar pattern as Sakura and Syaoran.

Hiiragizawa was similarly stunned when he finally joined the group briefly to help transform Ruby Moon. "Where did you get that?" he asked after raising his eyebrows and peering at the boy with wide eyes.

"I made it," Daidouji said proudly. "It's been so long! It looks good on him, no?"

"It does," Hiiragizawa agreed, and looked a little disquieted for some reason. He seemed to tear his eyes away from Syaoran with difficulty, and looked at Sakura, in her matching outfit. Faint amusement and something like relief crossed his expression. " _Sakura-san_ looks lovely, as always. _Daidouji-san_ as well. I see that there's a theme here."

"Oh!  _Ano…arigatou,_ " Sakura blushed. Daidouji giggled after echoing the same.

Ruby bounded over to her master. "Come on, they're all waiting! I have to change into something nice now that they're all so pretty. Why didn't  _Daidouji-chan_ make  _me_ an outfit?"

"Oh!" Daidouji exclaimed. "I should have!  _Gomen nasai!_ Next time I'll do it!"

"Enough. How old are you again?" Hiiragizawa gestured to her. "You have enough clothes as it is."

Ruby Moon's transformation was a bright spectacle, with Hiiragizawa's magic circle illuminating on the floor, lighting up the room and moving the air. Yukito had to close his eyes at first, but eventually he was able to open them. He stared into the light, though he could not see anything past it.

Did all of Ruby Moon's transformations take this long?

Eventually, the glow faded, but Ruby Moon had not transformed. Next to her, Hiiragizawa was frowning. He stared at her.

"…What happened?" Touya asked.

Hiiragizawa looked at Syaoran. "Xiaolang," he said seriously, "have you been giving Ruby Moon your magic?"

Syaoran frowned, confused. " _Iie._ Why? I've only given it to…" he trailed off. "I never did."

Hiiragizawa studied Syaoran for a moment. Suddenly, he lunged forward and pressed his fingers against Ruby's forehead. She cried out, and her aura flared, crackling with tiny sparks inside. Ruby fell to the floor, Hiiragizawa's fingers still on her forehead. His other hand grabbed her by one of her hairbuns to hold her still as he stared at the aura. His face turned white and his mouth went slack.

Yue stirred from within Yukito's form as horror made his magic swell. His grip on his false form faded, and his own body glowed as it transformed. When he pulled his wings back, Hiiragizawa was still staring at the aura, frozen.

"What's going on?" Sakura asked, frightened.

" _Iie_ ," Mizuki breathed, and then swept forward to pull Syaoran against her.

Hiiragizawa looked down at Ruby Moon, who was not looking at him. His expression was still that of shock and disbelief.

"You…" his body started trembling, and his aura deepened into black. "You…my own butterfly…"

Suddenly, he shoved the guardian away from him. Ruby Moon's aura snapped into her form, which instantly curled as she cowered.

" _Eriol-sama, onegai—_ "

"How long have you been doing this?" Hiiragizawa asked quietly.

Beside Yue, Mizuki pulled Syaoran and turned him around to face her so he would not look at the scene. Syaoran was shaking too, and his joints were locked so that he could not turn easily.

" _Eriol-sama—_ "

" _How. Long."_

Ruby Moon started sobbing. "Master," she wailed in English, "Master please, I'm sorry—"

Hiiragizawa switched to English as well. "Did you think I would never find out?"

Mizuki still had not managed to turn Syaoran, who was glaring at the scene in a severe frown. If not for his trembling, one would think he were just angry. Yue himself was very frightened; he had never even seen Clow Reed this angry. He moved to block the boy's view of the scene with his wings, which finally allowed Mizuki to turn the boy around. Unfortunately, both Sakura and Daidouji were still watching, and the girls were just as terrified.

"… _Hiiragizawa-kun,_ " Sakura managed bravely, "Wh-what's wrong? What happened? What did  _Ruby-san_ do?"

Hiiragizawa was silent.

Sakura looked at Yue and Kerberus for help. Yue exchanged a look with his fellow guardian. Kerberus looked just as frightened as Yue felt.

"What's going on?" Touya asked.

Mizuki looked up at him and whispered, "She stole it."

"I warned you," Hiiragizawa said in a voice both smooth and deadly. "I warned you, what would happen if you hurt my child."

"He wasn't hurt!"

"No?" Hiiragizawa advanced on her, and Ruby cowered back. The sorcerer's face was thunderous. "The nightmares. The bruising around his eyes during the day. After what has happened, what made you think that this was  _OK?_ You saw what that  _ounusa_ did and why it was so evil. You were right there with him as he relived the torture every night, and you're telling me that what you've done did not hurt him?"

"He had plenty to spare!" and then Ruby lifted her eyes to glare at Hiiragizawa defiantly. "He had plenty to spare and he even donated some of it to Yue. He's _fine!_ He's not hurt! After everything I've done for him,  _how_ is this—"

"So you asked him?" Hiiragizawa hissed. "You asked him to donate some to you? Is that how his magic got into you? Xiaolang, tell me the truth: did Ruby Moon ask you for your magic?"

Syaoran could not answer.

Hiiragizawa stalked forward, his hands glowing with power. "You stole it from him in his sleep. He trusted you, trusted you would care for him and protect him from his nightmares. Instead you  _caused_ them, and while he was helpless you took from him without his knowledge, and you  _knew_ this was wrong—you never took from him during the day. You never asked him. You hid from  _me_ , you waited until it was nighttime,  _your_ domain, when the rest of us might sleep unknowing, and that was when you acted. My butterfly, I warned you."

"No!" and in her panic, Ruby struck out— _against her own master—_ a series of sharp red crystals that Hiiragizawa deflected, but one of them still grazed him on the cheek, drawing blood.

"Ruby!" Spinel exclaimed. "What are you doing?!"

Hiiragizawa fired a spell from his palms, which blasted Ruby Moon into the wall. She fell to the ground, where she remained, starting to cry.

"Please please please, I'm  _sorry_ , I didn't mean—"

"You didn't mean to get caught," Hiiragizawa walked forward, and a deadly intent took over his form. "What were you aiming for? Was it to break free of my influence? You wish to go out on your own? Your wings have hardened enough to leave the nest, I see. I had thought it strange that you took to the boy. You are my creation, and I know you, and you're not the type to care for others. But I had hoped, because I loved that child and thought that perhaps, even if you did not love him, you might have some tenderness in you to spare for him. But this was what you've been after all along, wasn't it? This was why you worked to endear yourself to him. You knew about his power and sought it for yourself. Very clever. Very clever, Ruby Moon. You have even outsmarted me. Alas, your lack of heart proves your downfall." He raised his right hand. "You were there when I made my announcement, Ruby Moon. You have betrayed me and my own, and are a threat to me and those I hold dear. I cannot tolerate this any longer."

 _Kami-sama_ , Yue realized as cold penetrated him deep to his bones.  _He's going to unmake her. Hiiragizawa Eriol is going to destroy Ruby Moon._

She had stolen the boy's magic without his permission, behaving no better than the Kikutake. She had done so without any need; Yue had needed magic and had been given it without asking, but Ruby Moon was sustained by Hiiragizawa and Hiiragizawa had enough to maintain her. Her greed drove her to steal even more, which might allow her to break free from her dependence on Hiiragizawa, and thus her loyalty. It was more than a betrayal of Hiiragizawa's ward; it was a betrayal of the very essence of their relationship.

She had gone rogue. And rogue guardians were dangerous. Too dangerous to be allowed to exist.

Ruby realized this too, and cracked. "And what else would you expect,  _Master?_ You're always telling me about my limits! Limits that  _you_ designed! I am not human enough, I cannot love, I cannot feel grief, and even as you claim to have done this for my benefit, you constantly compare me to your precious  _Clow Guardians_ ,  _Yue_ and  _Cerberus_ , how they are both superior even as they cling and mope after a master long gone!"

"Ruby, shut up!" Spinel cried. "Don't you see that you're in no position to—"

"Every time I feel even remotely good about myself, you shoot me down!" Ruby shouted over him. "Even when I do good things, you don't believe they're good! Because  _I am not capable of it!_ That's what you say! So kill me if you wish, but know that this is all your fault!"

 _"Iie!_ " Syaoran had heard, and he ripped away from Mizuki's embrace and darted around Yue before the guardian could even react. In a blink of an eye, his body was shielding Ruby Moon's as he faced Hiiragizawa, arms out and eyes challenging. "You can't kill her!  _Eriol-san!_ Don't hurt her! I gave it to her, I swear! She didn't do anything wrong!"

Everyone in the room knew better.

"Move aside, Xiaolang. This has nothing to do with you."

Syaoran then fell to his knees and almost cracked his forehead as he bent over to press his head to the ground; the ultimate gesture of supplication.

"Someone move him aside," Hiiragizawa commanded, but no one dared; they knew that right now, Syaoran was all that kept Ruby Moon alive.

"Please!" Syaoran cried. "Don't! I forgive her! I don't mind! She can take more if she wants, don't hurt her because of this,  _please_ _Eriol-san_ , don't! I'm not hurt! I'm fine!"

Hiiragizawa's movements were slow and measured. He lowered his hand as he regarded the boy. Syaoran's form was shaking like a leaf. He dared not raise his head. After a moment, Hiiragizawa turned to the side. A pause, for now.

Mizuki went forward to gather the child. Syaoran resisted at first, but she pulled him up, checking his forehead for any injury.

Yue looked over at Kerberus again. Sakura was pale and frightened, her green eyes filling with tears. Daidouji was similarly terrified, and hiding a little behind Sakura. Kerberus's ears were flat, and he was actually starting to look angry.

"All of you," Hiiragizawa said in measured tones, "need to get out.  _Now._ "

He meant everyone except Ruby Moon.

No one moved. Leaving could mean Ruby's doom. Though how could Ruby Moon have  _done_ this? To the boy she held in her arms every night, who clung to her, who  _chose_ her to be his nurturer and protector. To someone her master had clearly loved with all his heart. And what did Hiiragizawa mean when he said he had warned her? Did he  _know_ this might happen? But he had looked so aghast.

" _Eriol-san—_ " Syaoran began.

" _I said **get out!**_ " Hiiragizawa snapped, his voice like a thunder clap. A warning: he would not ask politely again.

Syaoran inhaled, shakily, and looked like he might burst into tears. Mizuki lifted him up, and pushed him toward the main doors. Spinel Sun wasted no time leading the group. Mizuki tilted her head at Touya, who numbly gathered the girls. They followed him and Spinel Sun ahead of Mizuki and Syaoran, who was still craning his head back to look at Hiiragizawa and Ruby Moon. Yue filed behind them, heart still hammering and adrenaline thrumming in his veins.

" _Matte—_ " Syaoran protested, but Mizuki pushed him forcifully, and he was forced to focus on his steps to avoid falling over.

"Don't look back, Syaoran," she whispered to him. "Don't look back. Don't look back, Syaoran."


	20. Yue Stakes His Claim

They were only outside for half an hour; long enough for many things to happen, but ultimately Hiiragizawa did not kill Ruby Moon as they feared. He had every intention of doing so, but Syaoran's terror stayed his hand. "For the time being," the sorcerer said lowly, explaining that he did not want Ruby's death to be remotely connected to Syaoran. He would wait until she made a transgression that had nothing to do with the boy. In the meantime, Syaoran was not to stay at the mansion anymore; Ruby Moon had nowhere else to go, and Hiiragizawa did not want Syaoran near her. Or Spinel Sun, for that matter, as Spinel Sun was made of the "same stuff".

In the meantime, Hiiragizawa said, he wanted Syaoran to stay with Yue. Uncharacteristically, he did not give Syaoran the chance to decide. Syaoran did not protest—was completely silent, in fact. He made a visible effort to look brave, but he still ended up looking like a kicked puppy. Sakura and Tomoyo held each of his hands as he focused on maintaining his composure. Mizuki quietly murmured that she would help the boy pack. 

They filed to the room Ruby Moon shared with Syaoran. Mizuki showed all the new clothes they had bought for him while he was here, and then some other knick-knacks: wooden puzzles, figurines. Hiiragizawa had every intention of keeping the boy and raising him as his own, Yue saw, for little bits that were meant for the boy spread across the rest of the mansion: Syaoran's cup, Syaoran's towel, even a stuffed wolf on the couch, though it looked more like an Alaskan husky. Yukito had spare items to provide for a guest, but Mizuki packed them anyway, just in case, like the practical woman she was.

He did not have too many things, overall, so it was easily inside of an hour when everything was packed. Syaoran almost seemed to be in a stupor, reminiscent of his first days out of the hospital. Slow to react, slow to move, and perhaps even slower to comprehend. Hiiragizawa approached the child and took the boy's face in his hands. His thumb smoothed over the cheek that use to be bruised, but had healed entirely by now.

"I am so sorry," said Hiiragizawa. "I keep failing you. My Xiaolang." He swallowed, and then pulled Syaoran's head forward to kiss him on the forehead. He then stepped back and let Syaoran go. Syaoran did not react one way or another.

They made their way to the Tsukishiro residence. Mizuki, Hiiragizawa and his guardians remained at the mansion.

"This is all very sudden," Touya admitted to Yukito, "and I still don't really understand…I mean, are we overeacting? Is there a chance? What exactly was her crime?"

"She stole his magic in his  _sleep_ ," Kerberus hissed in a whisper so that Syaoran would not hear; not that the boy looked like he was in any shape to be paying attention to them. "That's what it sounded like, anyway. And  _iie:_ not cool to steal magic from others. You only do that to your enemies, and it's not a particularly honorable thing to do either. I can't believe she would  _do_ that…"

"How exactly did he figure this out?" Touya asked, looking really rattled.

"He couldn't transform her," Yukito replied. "The only way that was possible was if she had Syaoran's magic in her."

"And how did we know this?"

Yukito looked away.

" _Matte_ —it was  _you_ wasn't it?" Touya whirled at Yukito. "When did the kid give you magic?"

"It was a while ago—"

"And  _why_ _?_ "

"When  _did_ the kid give you magic?" Kerberus turned to Yukito as well.

That was not a fun conversation.

The day became even less fun when they actually arrived at the Tsukishiro residence, and Syaoran seemed to finally wake up from his stupor.

"I have an apartment," he looked around, having never been to Yukito's home before. "It's fine. I'm not a baby, and I'm weeks out of the hospital—months."

He might have been even slightly more convincing if he did not look like he might fall apart even as he insisted he was fine.

"Hiiragizawa wants you to stay with me," Yukito said to him.

"What, you just do everything he tells you now?" Syaoran glared.

Realizing what he said wrong, Yukito amended, " _I_ want you to stay with me."

"Why?" Syaoran shot back, unmoved. "Do you want my magic too? You don't need to babysit me just for that. Here,  _take it_ —" and he drew out the Nothing between two fingers. Yukito grabbed his wrist; uncharacteristic, but everyone was behaving unlike themselves today.

"Don't insult me, or the other me," Yukito warned, more serious than he had ever been in his life.

"Or  _what?!_ " Syaoran exclaimed, looking like he might break into hysterics. "You really expect me to believe that you  _want_ me to stay with you, just because?"

"Kid," Touya said carefully, "put the card away—"

"You're all just  _sorry!_ I don't need you to be  _sorry!_ What, are you worried I might use the Nothing and destroy the world—ha, ha," his laugh sounded unhinged, and then he was staring at the Nothing with a particularly intense gaze that had Yue's every instinct blaring in alarm.

"Kid…" Kerberus was feeling the same. "Kid, what are you doing…"

" _Syaoran-kun!_ " Sakura whimpered tearfully.

This seemed to jolt Syaoran out of whatever dark thoughts he might be harboring. He looked at her, concerned despite himself.

"Don't say that," she reached out to grab his free hand. "We love you. Don't say such horrible things. If—if you really don't want to stay with  _Yukito-san…Oni-chan,_ can we…"

Touya rubbed his head, looking harassed.

Syaoran stared at Sakura, the hand holding the card lowering. Yukito took a chance and plucked it from his grasp. Syaoran did not even notice.

"I don't need to stay with  _anyone._ I have an apartment." This time the boy sounded much more collected.

"I want you here with me," said Yukito. "Other me wants you here as well."

Syaoran turned to him, his amber eyes full of doubt, a million challenges to the integrity of the people he was with in light of those he left behind, but he chose not to contest Yukito's answer this time. Nor did he acknowledge the card that Yukito put away in his pocket. Not that this was much protection if Syaoran really wanted it, but Yukito did it more as a message than to truly prevent Syaoran from accessing it.

Sakura moved forward to hug him, which the boy did not return. She held on for a while even so, before letting him go. Touya stepped forward when his sister retreated and crouched down to look up at Syaoran.

"Yuki will take good care of you," he said to the boy, "but if he doesn't, since he's a nerd, my sister is right. You can stay with us too."

Syaoran looked at him, and then looked away.

After dropping off Syaoran's pack, Touya sensed that they were starting to overstay their welcome, and Syaoran needed fewer people to come to terms with his new surroundings. Kerberus wanted to stay behind, but Yukito told him to go: Syaoran had too much to take in as it was.

Finally, it was just the two of them. Syaoran stood next to the couch, too upset to sit down. He glared at the floor across the room, arms folded in front of him. Though the movements on his face were minimal, he seemed to be filled with dark thoughts, and slowly his posture changed. Back straight, shoulders set, jaw determined. Drawing strength from whatever it was he was thinking. He looked, all at once, like the Li Syaoran that first came to Tomoeda.

Yukito's stomach twisted uneasily. "Whatever you're thinking," he said softly, "it's not like that."

"I'm not stupid, you know," Syaoran said, his voice very flat. "I'm not going to fall for it over and over."

"No one's trying to trick you—"

"No one?" Syaoran looked at him, eyes sharp, and Yukito fell silent.

"Syaoran—" he reached for the boy, but Syaoran slapped his hand violently away.

"Don't  _touch_ me!" he exclaimed. "And when did I become 'Syaoran' anyway?  _Tsukishiro-san._ "

Yukito let his arm drop, at a loss for words.

Syaoran looked back at the far wall. "I thought it was strange, the other you just started behaving—so  _stupid_." He seemed to mentally kick himself, and then turned fully away so his back was toward Yukito.

"Syao— _Li-san_." Yukito did not know how his other self was behaving, but whatever Syaoran was thinking, he knew in his heart that was not what Yue was doing.

"The Kikutake took away my common sense," Syaoran hissed. "Should have—shouldn't have—but it's over, either way.  _Ugh_ and I just  _fell_ for it like the pathetic  _loser_ that I am—"

" _Syaoran-san_ ,  _iie._ You don't understand—"

"I  _didn't,_ " Syaoran agreed, "but now I do. Ever since the Nothing," he strode forward to put more distance between him and the teen. "I was getting better. I wasn't having nightmares about—but then all of the sudden they came  _back_. I thought it was a  _relapse._ Just, all of the sudden it was like I was  _back there again_ ," and his voice broke as it rose, but his face was harsh and stony. "I thought it was all me, I was broken so anything that went wrong must have been me, but it was  _her_ —she realized where my magic was hiding and did the same thing  _you_ did—she's also a moon guardian and has the same powers, so she must have forced me asleep so I couldn't wake up and know. I was trapped in those nightmares for  _hours_ every  _night_ because of her!"

Horror washed over him all over again, and Yukito had to cover his mouth.

"And then when she's done, she'd let me wake up," Syaoran began to pace. Tears had collected in his eyes, but he ignored them. "She'd tell me I'm safe. Let's go flying. Take your mind off what  _has been done to you_. And I thought, how lucky I was to have her, and this entire time…! Oh don't act so  _surprised_ ," he snapped, when he saw Yukito's expression. "You think I wouldn't put two and two together? Shocking coincidence, right after I donated some magic to you, you suddenly decide you wanted to get along with me after all—"

" _Iie,"_ and Yue's control over his false form faltered. It had always required more effort to transform into his true shape than the other way, but with Syaoran's magic, it was like his false form was under pressure, and he just had to slip free.

At the sight of Yue, Syaoran dodged back, face pale and glossy eyes wide. He braced his legs, as if ready to bolt. Despite everything, he was still afraid of the guardian.

Yue held still. He was afraid to move.

"I had held you in my arms," the guardian whispered. "I could have taken your magic the way she did, many times. I never did."

"Well I wouldn't  _know_ , would I?" Syaoran sneered, still in his defensive pose. "Not like you have a shining sign on your  _forehead_ stating that you did it. I didn't even know Ruby Moon was doing it and I was with her  _every night_."

"You can read my aura," Yue tried to speak soothingly as he lowered himself to one knee.

"You already have my magic, I wouldn't know if you just kept taking it."

"If I did, I wouldn't have been able to transform."

Syaoran turned away, and then thought better of it, deciding he did not want the guardian behind his back.

"Well then what  _do_ you want?!" he shouted, whirling around. "Clow Reed's blood, is that it?!" He held out his wrist as if offering it to be sliced. "Or Clow Reed's old  _stuff?!_ You want the  _rashinban?!_ Or maybe it's the Nothing, now that it's been captured! Give me a hint, moon guardian, because I am  _sick_ of people who  _want things from me_ and pretend that they don't! I am  _sick!_ "

Yue reached out. "I just want you."

"Liar!" the boy cried and he swung his arm around to push a lamp over. The bulb shattered as it toppled. Syaoran raised his hand to move his hair out of the way, before suddenly approaching Yue.

"Give me the card," he ordered in a lower voice, arm extended. "Give me the card—it's mine—give me—" Yue reached out to catch the boy's wrist. "Let  _go!_ Who gave you permission to take the card—give it to me—"

"Syaoran—"

"Let me _go!"_ Syaoran flung Yue's grip off. "And when did  _you_ start calling me that?! When did we become first-name basis—"

Yue grabbed the boy by the arms, and Syaoran thrashed wildly out of his grip.

"Don't _touch_ me!"

He stumbled back, and Yue let him. Syaoran brushed at his arms, as if trying to wipe off Yue's touch. His breathing quivered, and tears spilled from his eyes in endless streams.

Yue wanted to reach for him, but he knew that Syaoran would just throw him off again and become even more upset.

"Syaoran," he whispered.  _Take control; do as Hiiragizawa suggested. He's hurt and frightened and he does not know how to react._ But that, Yue decided, might be why the boy should be allowed to vent it all out.

_I'm so sorry._

"I'm going home." Syaoran's voice was a little hoarse, but composed. He dried his cheeks with his palms, and drew himself together with an effort. "I'm going home. I'm calling my mother to tell her that whether or not she's OK with it, I'm going. Very likely she'd want me to reclaim the Clow Cards. If that's what's needed, I'll do it, and if you need to come with me away from here, we'll do that. So if you or Kerberus have any affairs to wrap up, you should go ahead and do that, because I'm not going to wait for you."

* * *

"Yue really cares about him," Kero said thoughtfully when they got home. No one, of course, was in the mood to go to the museum after that.

"It's nice that he's living with him now," Tomoyo said. "I remember when  _Li-kun_ didn't like  _Tsukishiro-san._ "

He still did not seem to like Yukito, though Sakura did not bother mentioning it.

"I can't believe Ruby hurt him," she exclaimed. "Like that. I mean, she was…I never expected…"

"I'm pretty sure  _none_ of us expected that one," Kero drawled.

"And  _Hiiragizawa-kun_ was going to  _kill_ her?" Sakura's eyebrows pinched.

"She hurt an innocent," said Kero. "That's pretty bad. I mean, that kid  _is_ an innocent, and he did nothing to provoke her. Did the opposite, in fact. And she still hurt him."

"Maybe Ruby just didn't understand…?" Tomoyo tried.

Kero shook his head gravely. "She wouldn't have tried to hide if that were the case. Ruby Moon knew what she was doing. And it's  _really_ bad, because she's powerful. She's probably as powerful as Yue, all things considered, and when someone like that is able to do something like that…that's bad."

"But  _Hiiragizawa-kun_ created her," Sakura exclaimed, "can't he just…fix her?"

"Well, certain things he can fix," Kero pointed out, "but this goes a lot deeper than that. This is morality. She deliberately went against morals that she was designed to understand. There's no patching that. He'd have to unmake her and rebuild her from scratch." He shuddered. "Honestly, she deserves it. That boy had gone through a lot, and had depended on her so much. And despite everything, she  _was_ hurting him…I mean, look at his face. He looks like a panda. I bet she's been doing it every night, that's why he's been having those nightmares. Then she takes him out flying as if that makes it all better.  _Kami_ …"

"Yue will take better care of him," Sakura said confidently. She then looked at the Clow book, sitting on her desk. " _Syaoran-kun_ really needs him. Needs you."

Kero looked at the book too. " _Un,_ " he agreed. "I don't want to leave you,  _Sakura-chan_ , but…Yue really cares a lot about him. When the kid goes back to Hong Kong and whatever his clan is, Yue's going to want to go with him."

" _You_ also want to go," Sakura said knowingly. "Come on. He's not so bad."

"Hmph. I'm not dignifying that with a comment."

"Plus, I have a feeling he'll come back," she reached out to take the Clow Book in hand. "It's not goodbye, not really. He just needs to leave Japan for a while, but he'll come back. We'll always be part of each other's lives. The only question is how to get  _Syaoran-kun_ to accept the cards. He doesn't seem to want them."

"Maybe when things settle down a little bit," said Kero.

Sakura nodded. After a moment, she exclaimed, "I still can't believe Ruby Moon did that to him."

"Join the club," Kero muttered.

"Poor  _Li-kun,_ " Tomoyo intoned.

"Poor  _Hiiragizawa-san_ too," said Sakura. "He had trusted her too."

* * *

Eriol was due to call Li Yelan to give her an update, and he did not even know what to say to her.

"You'll have to tell her the truth," said Kaho. "She's going to find out, and it's best if it came from you."

That did not make it easy, and Li Yelan was predictably irate when she heard what had transpired.

 _"I had trusted in your ability to care for and protect him,"_ she said coldly.  _"At his most vulnerable, I defied my own wishes, believing that he would be safer with you. Where is he now?"_

"He is under the care of Yue, the moon guardian."

_"And is a moon guardian capable of protecting him?"_

"His power is not insignificant, and he cares deeply for the boy."

 _"I want my son back,"_ she announced,  _"with the Clow Book. It is clear that Japan is no longer suitable for him. He will come home, where he belongs. You will conduct this without delay."_

Eriol knew he was hardly in the position to ask, but he could not help it. "Will he be safe?"

 _"I have protected him for nine years,"_ Li's voice became, somehow, even icier.  _"My mistake was believing that you can do better. Do not fool yourself, Hiiragizawa. This is my domain, and I know how to rule it."_

"Bonding with the remaining cards is not without risk. He reacted poorly to the cards in the past. With the Nothing in the picture, I hesitate to try anything without knowing more." Cooper had not come up with anything, despite the stretch of time.

 _"We have resources on our side; I'm sure you knew from the start,"_ Li replied. She knew that Eriol had kept this information from her on purpose.  _"I will have this looked into and contact you once we know more about this negative magic."_

"I will wait for your call."

He was fortunate in that he had called Li first, because shortly afterwards, the boy also called.

 _"I'm going to Hong Kong,"_ said the boy. No request for permission, just a declaration.  _"I need the Clow Cards."_

"We're looking into it," Eriol tried to explain.

_"Don't bother. I know the risks. Let's not waste time when we all know I'll have to bond with them one way or another."_

"Xiaolang—"

 _"Look,"_ Syaoran interrupted,  _"I appreciate everything you've done for me, alright? I know you're trying your best, but I'm done with waiting around, letting others decide. This is my decision, and if you have any respect for me at all, you'll honor it."_

Eriol was silent.

"Your mother is doing some research. Can we at least give her a chance to find something?"

_"I know she is. I spoke to her already."_

_Don't do this, Xiaolang._ "Please, I know you're angry. I promise, we'll get the cards to you. I just need a little more time."

 _"You've had weeks._ _"_

"I know."

There was a long pause.

 _"I'm trying my best here,"_ the boy said.

"I know."

_"Is there something you need from me?"_

"Iie."

Syaoran sighed audibly, and then hung up without saying goodbye.

He is rude when he is hurt or scared, Eriol reminded himself. This did not make him feel any better.

* * *

Syaoran wanted to go back to his apartment, but Yue refused. After talking to his mother, and then to Eriol, at some point Yue's attitude to this whole affair changed. He did not physically approach Syaoran, but his words became statements, with no room for discussion. Syaoran tried to leave anyway, but the door was locked, and nothing Syaoran tried could get it to open.

Magic. The house was magic. Syaoran should have figured.

He might have been scared, but it seemed distant from him, separated. He spoke with great composure, but the words seemed to come out of thin air, or someone else. The only time he felt like he was actually doing anything himself was when he broke things, and he broke a lot of them. He was so done with trying to win over others. He had thought that Tomoeda would be different, but it was the same everywhere, and nothing he did was good enough, so why bother? Yue tolerated this, giving Syaoran a wide berth, at least up to a point. After Syaoran smashed several glasses, the guardian suddenly lunged for him. Syaoran tried to dodge, but Yue was fast—he was even faster than he had been at the Final Judgment. He had Syaoran pinned against the back of the sofa so quickly that Syaoran's head spun.

" _Stop,_ " Yue snapped. "Stop it,  _now_. That's  _enough_."

Stunned, Syaoran did not understand, at first. He tried to thrash, but Yue's hold was too effective. Despite his best efforts, Syaoran's struggles weakened while Yue was hardly even exerting.

It was only after Syaoran finally gave up that he realized his arm was bleeding profusely, staining the couch. Another stain had bloomed where his head had been.

When had that happened?

Yue lifted off him, but kept a grip on his wrists. He then pulled Syaoran to the kitchen. When Syaoran tried to resist, Yue yanked harder.

"Enough," he said again. He grouped Syaoran's wrists together in one hand and reached for the sink with the other, turning on the faucet. When the water was warm enough, he pulled Syaoran's bleeding arm under it. The pain came as a surprise, as did the wound itself, which, though not very deep, was long. The sight of it cut through the burning rage, and then Syaoran abruptly felt listless and tired.

Yue then grabbed a sponge, looked at it, then put it down to pull a fresh paper towel from the rack. He wrapped this one around the boy's arm, and pressed Syaoran's other hand over it, and then under his own to hold pressure. He then got another towel, tugged Syaoran to spin around and pressed the towel against Syaoran's head. This time, there was no pain, but when Yue withdrew, the towel was saturated with blood.

"I need to stop the bleeding," said the guardian. "Stay still for me, alright?"

He then let Syaoran's wrists go.

Syaoran's arm stung, but he continued to press. It was the only part of him that could seem to feel anything.

Yue got a fresh paper towel, and folded it, and pressed it against Syaoran's head again. He used his other hand to push from the other side. For a long time, they stood there, Syaoran's head between his hands, neither of them speaking. Syaoran closed his eyes, wishing he could block out the world and just  _escape_ for a while.

Yue went through several towels before being satisfied. Head wounds did bleed a lot. Syaoran stared at the stained sheets in the garbage pin. The towel over his arm became saturated, so Yue went to address that. The pain was somehow more severe, there, and he hissed, but Yue held firm.

"When we found you," the guardian said while looking down at where he applied pressure, "we had several altercations with the clan already, each of them resulting in failure for one reason or another. We knew it wouldn't be good, but we had no idea what we would find. And then we found you, and the first thing that crossed my mind was that we were too late. The second thing that crossed my mind was that I had killed you. The third thing that crossed my mind was how you were that night, trying to make me feel comfortable and welcome. I thought, I had killed that boy, and that boy is now dead. And he thinks I hate him. Then your lungs rattled and I realized, you were alive. I went to you. You were so small. They had starved you, neglected you, left you trussed up like game, and you were as light as a bird. I gathered you into my arms and I could feel you dying right there. I could almost see that frail thread by which you hung. That firey-eyed boy. I could not even see your face. I held you right there in my arms and I could not stop you from dying."

His hands squeezed, then, around Syaoran's arm, almost tight enough to hurt even without the wound.

"We made it out of there and I just kept feeling how small you were, feeling you dying even as I was holding you, and I could not stop thinking about that first night, and all the nights afterwards." He released, and the towel, newly stained, lifted to reveal the bleeding had finally stopped. At least, for now. But Yue took his arm again after dropping the towel to the side.

"I thought, after all of that, this is all he'll remember of me. This boy will die and he will die thinking I hated him. And I didn't know what to do."

Syaoran thought of Yue's cold eyes. His heart felt so dead that the memory did not even faze him.

"You did hate me," he said quietly.

Yue looked up. "Sometimes," he said after a moment. "I wish I hadn't."

 _At least he's honest,_ Syaoran thought bitterly, withdrawing his arm.

"You don't owe me anything," he stated. The words seemed to come from somewhere beyond him; he was so numb, now. "I forgive you. We can put that behind us now."

Yue closed his eyes. "You don't understand. I saw a world without you in it and I realized I had been blind all this time."

Syaoran looked away. What does that even mean? Did it mean what it sounded like?

He was suddenly so tired that he did not care about the truth anymore. What was the harm in believing a lie, just for a moment? What reason did Yue have to lie to him?

But what reason did Ruby Moon have, to do what she did?

And then tears were pooling and then spilling again, and he felt so empty and raw inside. Yue opened his eyes to look at him. After a moment, the guardian pulled him close. Syaoran let himself be enfolded in that embrace, head resting against Yue's shoulder.

"We'll start over," he heard the guardian say. "Kerberus will also come around. We will go to Hong Kong, together, and we'll protect and defend you from whatever your mother is afraid of, and all of this—the Kikutake, Ruby Moon, will all be in the past, things you had overcome. Alright?"

That was a nice illusion, a nice little lie. Syaoran reached up and fisted at Yue's robes, suddenly wanting nothing more than to allow himself to be swept away in it again, but something nagged at him, like a thread that had caught even as the rest of him tried to glide by.

"I don't need you to like me if you don't. I'd rather you be honest with me," he said seriously, cheek still pressed against the guardian, but ready to be pushed away.

Yue was silent for a moment.

"You do the opposite of what you want," he said after a moment. "I see that more and more now. I think I saw you at your most genuine when you were with Ruby Moon. She was the only one out of us that you truly felt safe with, wasn't she?"

Syaoran felt so empty inside, the words hardly ignited anything more than wry acknowledgment.

"You're a boy who loves flying," the guardian went on, his voice taking on a hypnotic quality. "You love being hugged and giving hugs. When you laugh it is pure joy. When you love it is with your whole heart. When you care about others, you protect them even when they hurt you, and you give everything, you would even sacrifice yourself to that which you fear most. When you buy food from the food truck you think about bringing extra shares home to your loved ones. And when you need comfort the most, you act tough and push others away so no one would know how much pain you are in, inside. If you want me to be honest, then here's the truth."

His arms tightened around Syaoran, as if trying to squeeze the words into him.

"We'll go flying, but not after nightmares. We'll go so that you'll dream happy dreams. You'll get all the hugs you can stand, and give all the hugs you like. We'll give you every reason to be joyful so that I can hear you laugh. So long as you stay with me, I will protect you from those that try to hurt you, and I'll be your bow and arrow so that you won't ever feel the need to act tough when you are in pain. When you no longer have to ask me if I like you, I'll consider my task fulfilled."

Syaoran swallowed, at a loss for words. Ruby Moon had never said anything like that to him. Yue did not seem to be the type to make false promises.

Though what did Syaoran know?

"You're a good child," the guardian whispered, "and you'll grow to become a kind man, and from now on, nothing will ever convince me otherwise."

 _Do you mean that?_ Syaoran wondered, but it was too rude to voice it.

* * *

He was given the guest room, where they had put all his stuff. Once alone, that protective numbness fled, and it was all he could do to keep his sobs inaudible so that Yue would not think he were even _more_ of a lost cause than he already was. At some point, he fell asleep, and woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare, which he expected. He could still feel the head of the staff against his navel. It felt muted, compared to when he was with Ruby Moon, probably because she was not there to _actually_ do it. But he was still faintly nauseated, and there was a tight headache and cramping behind his eyes.

His nose was stuffed and his throat felt like it was on fire. Every muscle hurt, and he felt cold.

He had enough experience to realize he was likely running a fever. If he had been in his own apartment, he would have gotten up to go to the kitchen to take some medication and at least get a thermometer, but he was in Tsukishiro's house, and Yue was somewhere, and Syaoran did not want to ask him where anything was.

He tried to go back to sleep, wishing half-heartedly that this would somehow go away by morning. He succeeded, somewhat, for after a few miserable hours where he used half the tissues provided at the bedstand, he did sink into dreams, but when morning came the headache woke him again, and he was so cold and tired he could hardly move.

He was not sure what exactly he hoped to happen by lying there, hiding in the room, but eventually Yukito knocked on the door and poked his head in, asking if Syaoran wanted breakfast. A minute later, Yue's cool hand was on his forehead.

Syaoran felt so sick, he did not even care.

"Syaoran," the guardian whispered, and sat down by the side of the bed. "Child, can you wake up for me?"

Syaoran wanted to ignore him, but then Yue repeated the request, sounding  _frightened_ , somehow, and he had to open his eyes.

Yue was not the type to emote very expressively, but he looked relieved. "How are you feeling?"

Syaoran tried to answer, but as he blinked, his eyes stayed closed, and he drifted.

A moment later, he smelled vinegar. There was a sizzle on a pan, and he opened his eyes to see Yue in the room, holding a steaming wok. He swirled whatever was in it around and waved it about the room.

_What the…???_

There were a number of things that were odd about this, but Syaoran ultimately settled for one.

"Why are you in your true form?" he rasped.

Yue swirled the wok and pointed it at a corner. "It takes less effort to be in this form, lately," he said without looking at Syaoran.

"…That makes no sense."  _Ugh._ His head hurt too much to think.

Yue did not choose to respond. After filling the whole room with the smell, he took his sizzling wok and waltzed back out, as if he did not just do the strangest thing ever.

Well, boiling vinegar was not so strange—Syaoran's own mother and sisters often did this whenever someone had the cold or flu. _Yue_ doing it, though…that was bizarre.

The aroma stung his nose, but did not clear it as he half-hoped it would; it never did, but for some reason Syaoran always expected it to. Once awake, his stuffy nose started to bother him. He made a small mountain of used tissues before Yue came back, carrying a steaming mug of what looked like boiled mud, and a glass of water.

Syaoran blinked at this. "You know herbal medicine?"

"Clow had to use them," Yue said easily, setting the two on the bedstand. "Colds would occasionally get the best of him. Use to try them on Touya; works better than anything in drug stores."

"Ugh," Syaoran groaned. "What good is being the most powerful sorcerer ever if you can't avoid colds?"

"That's what he use to say too," Yue reached out to him. "Here, sit up."

He was casually tender, reminding Syaoran of how Kaho would be so effortlessly motherly. He felt very overwhelmed, and the mug just appeared in his hands later before he could remember why he should not drink from it.

It tasted incredibly awful. No poison could taste as bad as herbal medicine.

"Eugh!" Syaoran exclaimed, his face contorting on reflex. "Agh! Couldn't Clow have come up with something that did not taste like death?"

"According to him, the recipe was his mother's. One does not insult one's own mother."

"Eugh!"

Yue ran a hand through Syaoran's hair. "Drink the whole thing."

The gesture had Syaoran gulping down the whole thing, and before long he was rinsing his mouth. The brew had been so bitter that the water actually tasted sweet, but it took the whole glass before the taste dissipated in his mouth, and Syaoran's stomach felt awfully bloated.

Yue helped him lie flat, and Syaoran thought of all the horrible things he had said the previous day, how he broke everything downstairs, Yue's lack of temper at it all.

_Why are you being nice to me?_

Yue tucked him in with that same motherly calm. "Are you hungry?"

Not really. He felt bloated. The headache was still there, throbbing behind his eyes.

"Alright," said Yue, and squeezed his shoulder. "I'll let you rest."

Syaoran shut his eyes. His head still hurt and he was too tired to make anything out of anything.

* * *

 Sakura learned about Syaoran's illness from her brother.

" _Hai,_ he was really upset. It was going to happen." Touya dumped the dishes in the sink. "Yue's around full-time now because he's worried and the kid's magic is still bouncing around. Kind of annoying, actually. I wanted to hang out with Yuki before they head off to Hong Kong."

"I don't want them to leave," Sakura sighed, despite knowing that Syaoran had been begging to go home ever since this whole thing started.

"Well, they're not going anywhere right now," the teen said blithely. "He sounds like he's super sick. I'm actually going to head over to see if he needs any help."

"I'll come with."

"I don't want you to get sick too," Touya dismissed.

"Well it's not like  _you're_ immune!"

"I'm not there for the  _kid,_ I'm there for Yuki."

"Well, so am I! Well I'm also there for  _Syaoran-kun._ "

"What are  _you_ going to do?" Touya scowled. "Make Ruby Moon not be a piece of garbage?"

"Well, times like these are when he should be reminded that he  _does_ have real friends."

Touya blew out a breath.

"You just don't want me to see him," Sakura pointed out.

"That's absurd. Not that I do want you to see him, but I don't care. It's more because he's sick and I don't want you to get sick. Every time you do, I end up having to do all of your chores."

"You're such a jerk,  _Oni-chan!_ " Sakura kicked at his shin.

"Ow!" Touya exclaimed. " _Kami-sama_ , think I'm doing them a favor, keeping the  _kaijuu_ away."

" _Oni-chan!_ "

Syaoran  _was_ really sick, and was asleep when they arrived. Yue was in his true form, as Touya had mentioned. There were also a lot of things missing in the living room and the kitchen.

"Let me guess," Kero looked around, "he flipped out."

"So to speak," said the moon guardian, looking solemn. "He is very hurt."

Kero did not need to hear any more. "I'm going to go check on him."

"Ask him if he's hungry, if he's awake," Yue called after the sun guardian as the other floated up the stairs, and then leaned against the back of the sofa, which sported a blood stain.

"How are  _you_ doing?" Touya asked. "Can't be easy, suddenly having this kid thrust to you. A kid with issues, no less."

Yue was silent for a moment. "Honestly, I wish I had taken him in before any of this happened."

"Hindsight," said Touya.

"Can we help?" Sakura asked.

"He'll always be happy to see you," Yue said to Sakura dismissively, "but right now we're already doing all we can. He's called Hong Kong, also. They've summoned him back."

It took a moment for Sakura to parse these words.

"With or without the Clow Cards?" Touya asked.

"With," said Yue, "but Hiiragizawa put it off, for the time being. They wanted to make sure there's a safe way to do it. It's not going to happen while he's ill, at any rate. He's not strong enough to withstand any kind of disaster, should things go wrong."

"Oh." Sakura knew that Syaoran would have to go to Hong Kong eventually; he had only been begging and pleading for it ever since they got him back—but the notion that he was going to leave still hit her hard.

"He must have been very upset," said Touya, "to get sick like this."

"This might be difficult for you to understand," said Yue, "but I've felt the effects of that  _ounusa._ It's a very profound violation. It doesn't just inflict pain, though it is painful. It also draws your essence out of you, against your will. All of the sudden, your magic is no longer yours. Instead, it's this alien thing in your body, and it gets pulled away, leaving you hollow. Afterwards, it is as if everything about you were rearranged, and you don't feel like yourself for quite some time. I had only felt it for a few seconds, but that boy…he had been with them for days, and they could have had that thing on him for hours at a time, if they chose. You remember how he was practically catatonic for such a long time, and never became quite the same as the boy he was before. Then Ruby Moon does the exact same thing. Not only that, but she used her moon powers to keep him submerged and forced him to stay asleep, while undergoing this process that is just as painful and violating. He had been completely helpless against her, and he had felt every bit of it; his mind simply interpreted it as a nightmare where he was prisoner again. He woke up none the wiser, and she lied to him so that he would remain so, would continue trusting her so that she could violate him the same way again every night. Who knows how long she has been doing this—likely when he bonded with the Nothing, I think, because that was when his magical reservoir became much more accessible."

"…This sounds like…" Touya glanced at Sakura for some reason, and then looked at Yue.

"It is of a sort," Yue agreed, though Touya never finished his sentence.

"Is this  _Hiiragizawa_ reliable, then?" Touya asked. "I mean, he created this monster."

Yue bowed his head. "He has all of Clow Reed's memories, but he's not Clow Reed. He makes different choices and his heart is touched by different things. I don't think he meant to harm the boy, though. He was ready to kill Ruby Moon for her crimes. The only reason he did not was because Syaoran was so frightened."

"I'm not sure I feel reassured by how willing he was to kill his own guardian."

Yue said nothing.

"You're also taking this well," Touya went on, "considering she's just like you. Other than the whole ra— _ano,_ hurting an innocent child thing she had going."

"I am angry too," Yue stated blithely. "If she were not associated with Hiiragizawa, and, in turn, Clow Reed; I would have killed her myself. She and I are no more similar than you and Kikutake Youta."

Kero suddenly floated down the stairs.

"Kid's throwing up in the bathroom," he announced.

Yue instantly followed him up. The Kinomotos went after.

Syaoran was kneeling in front of the toilet in the bathroom, hunched over and shivering. His face was pale and colorless and he squinted, as if having trouble focusing. In the toilet bowl was a brown murky stuff.

"You made him the tea?" Kero asked.

"Won't do much good now," Yue murmured. He got a cloth towel and turned on the sink faucet to wet it, before kneeling down in front of Syaoran to wipe his mouth.

" _Gomen…_ " the boy whispered.

"It's fine," said Yue, setting the towel aside, and then slid his hands under the boy's arms to lift him up. Syaoran's eyes were shut as he rested his chin on Yue's shoulder. He looked very weak and frail. There was gauze over one of his arms.

Yue put him to bed, and as the guardian was bent over him, Syaoran started keening.

"What's wrong?" Yue asked, bending lower.

But Syaoran just began to whimper and sob.

Sakura had never heard him make such sounds before.

Kero floated close, and the guardians whispered something to Syaoran. Touya and Sakura stood awkwardly to the side, wishing they knew what was going on. Eventually, Syaoran quieted.

"I got him," Kero finally announced. "You've done your part yesterday. Go back to your false form for a bit and take a break."

"It's harder for me to be in my false form now," said Yue.

"Well take a break anyway. I got this."

After a moment, Yue drew away. He led the Kinomoto siblings out of the room.

"I still might kill Ruby Moon," he said.

"What happened?" Touya asked.

"He's having nightmares," Yue went downstairs.

* * *

Tomoyo joined them an hour later, which was not really what Yue wanted, though the guardian seemed to accept this as par for the course.

"He doesn't have pneumonia again, does he?" the dark-haired girl asked.

"If he does, I'll find a gun," said Touya. "Do bullets hurt moon guardians?"

" _Oni-chan!_ " Sakura exclaimed.

"She wouldn't enjoy them, at any rate," Yue folded his arms and leaned against the couch. That was still blood-stained. Sakura took one look at it and drew out the Bubbles card.

Yue moved aside to let the card do its work.

"Do you think we should bring him to the doctor?" Sakura asked. "Colds can be bad but he looks really sick."

This seemed to remind Yue that Syaoran just vomited up his medicine, so he went into the kitchen and pulled some dried roots from one of the cupboards.

"I don't know. He's too volatile right now. I don't know how we'd explain this to the doctor. If he doesn't get better, I'll have Mizuki take him."

"Are you making that tea?" Touya jumped up from where he was sitting. " _Matte_ , I want to see what you're putting in it—"

Yue looked up, and then looked down again. "Might as well. You might need to make it on your own from now on."

A cold silence fell at this.

"Right," said Touya. "I'm surprised that kid drank that thing. It tastes like the inside of a maggot boiled in still water that's been sitting there for three trillion years."

Sakura wrinkled her nose. She had tried that stuff. It was every bit as bad as her brother described.

"You've tasted the inside of a maggot?"

"I'm just saying."

"He's a good boy," said Yue, "but he had a lot to say about it."

"So Yuki didn't learn it from his grandparents."

" _Iie._ "

"Where'd  _you_ learn to make it from?" Touya asked. "Do you even get sick?"

"I don't get sick."

"…Really? Clow Reed got sick? What's the point of being the greatest sorcerer ever if you can't dodge colds?"

Yue gave Touya a look.

"Considering the number and variety of truly serious illnesses, you humans really seem to hate colds."

"Well you'd think that we can be spared  _that_ one at the very least." Touya paused. "And don't call us 'you humans'. That is very disturbing."

Yue's eyes swept over Sakura, mostly as an afterthought, but the sight of her seemed to remind him that she was there. "Are you alright?" the guardian asked.

Sakura blinked. "Hoe? I'm fine. I'm not the one who's hurt. And sick."

"It couldn't have been easy for you," said Yue.

Touya turned. "She's fine. She's got other stuff to worry about. Like school."

"Ugh," Sakura groaned.

They hung around as Yue brewed the medicine. The guardian put very little water this time, and instead of a glass of water he found a piece of candy. Touya grimaced, just looking at the mug. Even Sakura scowled a little; she had firmly rejected that in favor of honeymilk for a reason.

"It's going to be ten times more foul as a concentrate," said Touya.

Yue stared at it, wavering.

"The taste alone is going to make him vomit again," the teen went on.

Yue sighed, and then grabbed two more pieces of candy before taking the drink upstairs.

"I guess we'll be helping Yuki do laundry," Touya muttered.

Syaoran was sitting up in bed, against Kero's wishes, from the looks of it.

"You're going to have to listen to me at some point," the guardian said to him, looking put out.

"If I lie around any more I'm going to go crazy—oh  _no_ ," Syaoran moaned at the sight of the mug. " _Really?_ "

"You know, some people don't even have access to such medicines," Kero floated away.

"Is that supposed to be a bad thing?"

Yue held up the candy in his other hand, which earned him a huff.

"You can do it," Sakura tried to encourage him, though she was not quite able to mean it sincerely.

" _Kami-sama_ ," Syaoran covered his face. "Ugh, I think I prefer just dying."

"Don't say that ever again," Yue snapped. It was so harsh and sudden, even Touya started. Syaoran looked up at Yue, as if slapped. Eyes wide, he instantly straightened his back and lowered his hands. Yue pressed the mug to him. "Drink."

Sakura had to give it to Syaoran—he drank the whole thing, albeit with a break in the middle to make a truly disgusted face. Of course, if anyone could manage, it would be Syaoran.

He sucked on all three candies at once. It still did not look like it was enough.

"If you keep it down this time you wouldn't have to drink another dose for another twelve hours," said Kero.

Syaoran stared at the guardian. "You mean I have to drink this thing  _again_ _?_ "

"Usually two doses are all you need," said Kero, "though Clow didn't tend to vomit up his medicine. Not sure if this works for stomach flus."

"I don't have the stomach flu," said Syaoran. "I threw up because that thing made me sick."

"What thing?"

Syaoran sucked a little more. "The magic thing. Whatever it was." He blinked rapidly.

Sakura went forward and took his hand. "You're not there anymore,  _Syaoran-kun._ "

"I  _know_. It's the stupid  _dreams._ "

"You can use the Dream Card again."

Syaoran looked at her despondently. "I can't keep using the Dream Card. When are these dreams going to go  _away?_ "

Yue took the mug. He and Touya disappeared from the room to bring the mug back to the kitchen. Sakura sat down on the side of Syaoran's bed.

"You'll be better now," said Sakura. "Yue would never do what Ruby Moon did."

"We'll see."

" _Oi_ ," Kero exclaimed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

" _Sumimasen,_ " Syaoran snarked, "but I didn't exactly expect this of Ruby Moon either, so really, what do I know?"

"Yue's nothing like Ruby Moon!"

Syaoran grabbed at his hair. "I don't  _know_ that, alright? And you can stop being all high and superior, because I don't care. I don't care, I don't  _care_ about  _anything!_ "

He screamed the last part, and Sakura was so frightened that she left the bedside, even though she knew that Syaoran would not do anything to her. Was not even talking to her, really.

Syaoran looked just as startled by his own outburst, and he immediately reached out for her. " _Gomen nasai, gomen nasai—Sakura-san_ —"

" _Iie,"_ Sakura came back and reclaimed his hand. "You're upset. I know you don't mean it."

Syaoran inhaled harshly, before pulling his hand away. He covered his eyes.

"I should never have come to Tomoeda."

Sakura could only stare at him, heartbroken.

"Don't say that again either," said Kero. "You can say any stupid thing you want, kid, but I haven't seen Yue this invested since Clow died. I'm not joking, boy. You'll seriously hurt his feelings."

Syaoran brought his hands down to give Kero a condescending look, but Kero was serious.

"And it's not because you're Clow's brat," he went on. "He really cares about you. We all care about you. I know you feel really insecure right now. There's no excuse for what Ruby Moon did. But we're not all like that. You saw what  _Hiiragizawa_ was ready to do for you. If we hadn't been picking up our jaws from the floor, any of us would have been ready to do the same. Yue especially. He plays the tough part but he's always been sensitive. That's how Clow made him. Don't say things like that, alright? You'll really hurt his feelings. I'm serious."

Syaoran blinked, then blinked again. He opened his mouth, then closed it, before giving up to sit silently, deep in thought.

 


	21. The Card Master

Syaoran got better eventually; he remained indoors for two days, sleeping most of the time with the help of the Dream card. On occasion he would head downstairs to watch television, but usually he would end up falling asleep there as well. Twice a day, Yue would make him drink the draught, but it really did seem to work; by the end of the first day, Syaoran was sweating his fevers out, and then by the second day he no longer felt nauseated at the mere idea of school.

School had already started, of course; Sakura and Tomoyo had already gone, tasked with the unenviable duty of explaining away Syaoran's continued absence without stirring any suspicion. There was a noticeable lack of children outside during the day, as everyone was in class. Tsukishiro, of course, was absent, because Yue was always around, though the guardian had a way of being accessible without being overtly present; Syaoran would usually not notice him if he was not thinking about him or did not want to see him, but somehow Yue would always be at hand if Syaoran needed anything.

He was different from Ruby Moon, who was always in Syaoran's face, loud and cheerful and vivid, distracting Syaoran from any dark thoughts. Yue, in contrast, allowed Syaoran to dwell on past events, but there would always be something, whether it was a passing touch, or a summons for a meal or even a snack, that would interrupt a bad memory and draw Syaoran back to reality and the knowledge that he was in a safe place. And Tsukishiro's house felt safer than Eriol's, for some reason. Eriol's mansion was ancient, despite outward appearances, and there was always that enigmatic and slightly haunted feel to it. Tsukishiro's house was probably made of just as much magic, but it felt like Yue's magic, and Yue's magic had always been oddly comforting.

Syaoran would never have pinned Yue down as the affectionate type, but that natural tenderness from his first morning here persisted through the days. Yue was not at all discomfited by any gestures he felt he had to make, whether it was brushing Syaoran's hair out of the way, rubbing a hand down Syaoran's arm when the boy shivered, or even pressing his face against Syaoran's cheek to feel his temperature. The attention had Syaoran blinking like a bewildered fawn, but Yue did not seem to think anything of it.

Kerberus seemed somewhat perplexed by Yue's behavior at first, but quickly got use to it. The sun guardian would pop over every day for a few hours while Sakura was in school. He would at least check on Syaoran, but at first usually Syaoran was asleep when he came over, and he would find the two guardians engrossed in discussion downstairs. Their discourse was not exactly  _heated_ , but Kero always seemed upset. In fact, the sun guardian seemed to be rather depressed, never really smiling and always with a kind of bowed posture.

Syaoran was aware that soon, he was going to have to settle everything between Kero and himself, but he was not sure how to go about it. He was relatively certain that Kero was upset because he did not like Syaoran and yet was stuck with him. In fact, the whole situation reminded him eerily of the early days right after the Final Judgment, when the two guardians were over at his apartment and Syaoran did not know what to do with either of them. The only difference, really, was that Yue seemed to have found his equanimity. Maybe being in his own home was all that was needed.

Still, as his head cleared along with his nose, Syaoran had a hard time imagining what the two guardians could be arguing about all the time. If it was about Syaoran's potential as Card Master, he could not imagine Kero keeping that to himself. The guardian never made any mention of it, and only asked Syaoran how he was feeling whenever the two interacted. If Kero had any strong opinions, he would have tried to intimidate Syaoran away, the way he use to when there were still cards to capture. If it was about the next plan of action, why would his guardians be arguing with each other and not with Eriol? Eriol was the one who transferred ownership to Sakura, so he would be the one to talk to about transferring the cards back. 

Speaking of transferring the cards, Eriol was being frustratingly reserved on the matter. Syaoran could understand the delay while he was too sick to concentrate on anything for more than five minutes, but now that he was getting better, the wait seemed long and unnecessary. No one had ever been able to find answers, and a lot of people had died along the way. Eriol's attempt was touching, but Syaoran knew it would be fruitless. Syaoran just wanted to get it over with.

Oddly enough, Yue was also pushing Eriol, which Syaoran was a little surprised by. He would have expected Yue to be reluctant to leave Tomoeda, knowing what Syaoran's plans were, but the guardian seemed as anxious to finish the business as Syaoran. Maybe that was what Kero and Yue were arguing about?

Still, for some reason that desperation to go home was not so potent now that he was staying with Yue. Syaoran was not sure why, but somehow he felt a little more collected here. Yue had scared him, had hurt him, but something about the guardian's presence felt healing, soothing, in a way even Eriol and Kaho did not.

At length, Syaoran's donated magic finally dissolved, and Yue reverted to Yukito more and more to conserve energy. It was around this time when Eriol finally came around.

* * *

_"The trouble was,"_ Anne Cooper explained,  _"negative entities really aren't a thing. I mean what even_ ** _is_** _negative magic—it's this thing that's not positive magic but that doesn't really tell us how it works. And a being that doesn't exist—he clearly exists. So is he still a negative entity? I mean it's so confusing; where do you even start to look?"_

 _"But the thing is, if you math it,"_ said her husband,  _"you can turn imaginary numbers into real numbers."_

 _"But mathematics as we know it is limited by mathematicians,"_ said Anne,  _"and you can math wrong without knowing it. Like that business with the sum of all numbers being negative one-half."_

Eriol made a face. "So what did you find?" 

_"As I said, nothing definitive, but we're going into I-Ching and Yin Yang territory here, along with a bit of Doctor Who. So there are situations that are the reverse of what we have here: one of the ways you can definitely generate a negative entity is through a time paradox: basically, something or someone existed, and you use a Time spell to go back in time and erase them, but they needed to have existed so that you would go back in time in the first place, and that generates negative energy. Now, as for getting a negative entity to become a positive one, it's not possible to go back in time and just conceive someone who wasn't supposed to exist, because nothing happens without a reason and usually someone exists because they were meant to. Well, I say usually, but I mean **always**. Except for Li Syaoran. He's the one exception, quite literally. A lot of examples I've encountered have to do with time travel—Time travel actually creates a lot of positive garbage, because you have all these timelines that fold over themselves, and when they flatten out at the point of the loop when you went back, the way they balance it out is often by erasing lives, and not always the life you'd want to erase. Never the life you'd want to erase, actually. Time travel's not as cool as Doctor Who makes it look."_

_"Ruined my childhood,"_ said James.

 _"Now I didn't actually know this,"_ Anne said,  _"but apparently I never understood what Yin and Yang actually were. Yin is colder, darker, but it's actually more solid. It's affiliated with the Earth. Yang is hotter, brighter, and less solid—more like energy, so it's affiliated with the sun. Everything in this universe is a mix of the two, so the moon is also more Yin than Yang and yadda yadda yadda—but the point is that Yin is_ _the_ ** _physical_** _component, whereas Yang is the **immaterial** component, things like souls and spirits and—so basically—and this blew my mind: the regular positive magic is actually  **Yin** magic, whereas  **negative** magic is  **Yang**. Who on earth would have thought of that?! My mind is blown."_

Eriol rubbed his mouth. "That's right," he stated, unable to summon much bewilderment.

 _"Well of course **Eriol** knows," _James grumbled, and said something rude.

 _"And here's the other thing,"_ Anne went on,  _"Yin and Yang turn into each other. That's why everything goes in a cycle; stars turn into black holes and…et cetera. So the reason why messing around with Time and having these incidents when positive entities become negative ones didn't destroy the universe is because that's actually natural. Somehow. In fact, that's kind of how death works: we go from Yin, where we have a physical vessel, to Yang, where we are all spirit. Or ghost. Or whatever you want to call it."_

"So how is Syaoran different from anyone else, then?"

 _"Well, normally people come from positive entities,"_ Anne replied,  _"and he wasn't. This information was also really hard to find, and kind of hard to understand, but apparently the way conception works is, the spirit doesn't just show up in someone's womb. There's a whole process involved, but the gist of it seems to be that there has to be vessel already present. So you conceive, and then the spirit goes in. Or maybe it happens at the same time, but the point is there's a vessel. Now we don't really know how your kid works, but there was this really creepy Chinese story one of my friends told me. It took place in imperial China and is recorded in one of those texts that catalogs strange phenomena. There was apparently a fellow who was about to be beheaded for some crime or other; I'm not sure if he deserved it or not. He was good friends with the executioner, and was terribly frightened of dying. He begged the executioner to save his life. The executioner, of course, could do nothing to help him, but he felt very sorry for the poor fellow, and thought to at least comfort him. He told the man that he will save him, and that there is only one thing the convict needs to do. On the day of the execution and he is on the stands, the executioner will yell at him to run. The convict must then run as fast as he can and keep running without looking back. For some reason this guy believed in it, and was reassured until the day of his execution. At high noon, the executioner led him to the stands and readied his sword. Before he swung his sword, he shouted at the man, 'Run!' and so the man ran. He ran like the wind, as fast as he could, for leagues upon leagues."_

"This sounds like 'An Occurrence at Owl's Creek'," Eriol inserted.

 _"It's way creepier,"_ said James.

_"So the man finally stopped after passing a few towns, and he felt he was finally safe. He settled down, became an innkeeper, and even married and had children. About ten years later, the executioner was on a trip for some business or other, and happened to come across the inn. The innkeeper, of course, instantly recognised his saviour, and welcomed him warmly. He showed him his wife and his children and allowed him to stay free of charge, with free room service and a five star treatment. Meanwhile the executioner was incredibly confused, because last he remembered of the man was dropping his body and his head, which had been cut off, in a ditch. Yet here this man was, alive and clearly well. He kind of played along because he had no idea what else to do. After bidding the man farewell, he went back to the original town where he had the body exhumed, and it was indeed there, though all bones by now, complete with the severed skull."_

Eriol blinked. This had to have happened after Clow's time, because the sorcerer would have heard of it otherwise.

 _"So of course this was huge news,"_ Anne went on,  _"because it was just so **weird** , and everyone started talking about the convict that was clearly beheaded a decade ago but was now running an inn somewhere, with a wife and child. The news eventually spread to the town and reached the innkeeper. The book records that he heard the news, went back to his inn and was never seen again. When his wife and children looked for him, all they found was this puddle of blood on the floor of one of the rooms. The thought was that the man went home and thought back to the execution and realised for the first time that he was supposed to be dead, and that knowledge took away the one thing holding his physical form together."_

"…That's…"

 _"Creepy as hell,"_ said James.  _"I'm trying to recall if I had ever been killed and just forgot about it or something."_

 _"It's quite a bit different from the situation with your boy,"_ Anne went on,  _"because this guy was a positive entity that…well, stayed positive, I guess, but his physical form was actually all spirit, since his real body had been dumped in a ditch. But that's the thing, his spirit **created a body** , if this is true, and considering the strange circumstances we're facing now, it probably is! My guess is that Li is similar, in that he did not have a physical vessel waiting for him: he just created one, though how, or why, is beyond me. But if this is how it works, it's important not to let him know: otherwise you'd find a puddle of blood on the floor where he should have been."_

Eriol hissed.

 _"But if he really is a spirit made flesh, bonding with the cards should not be an issue,"_ James told Eriol.  _"There_ ** _have_** _been records of items bonded to spirits. Your usual kind, like ghosts and such, or echoes. Assuming ghosts are negative, which…they might be? They exist and yet don't. In any case, there should be no harm in bonding with the Clow Cards. The key, I think, is that he didn't want to bond with the positive cards. He was very reluctant, and if he really made this body from sheer force of will, his will is the deciding factor in everything, and is far more important than the will of your average person. Whether he wants something or does not want something will have ten times the impact any of us could have. He didn't want to bond with the other Clow Cards, but he did want to bond with the Nothing. My vote is to try it, but he needs to be ready."_

 _"I agree,"_ said Anne, no longer feeling the need to elaborate further.

Eriol narrowed his eyes. "Hm. Thanks a lot. I think I know what to do."

* * *

Hiiragizawa found Yukito in the grocery store.

"We're going to try to do this tonight," said the sorcerer.

"You figured it out?" Yukito asked.

"I think I know what he is, or more about what he is. Chances are, things will work better this time around, since he has the incentive to go back to Hong Kong." 

"What is he?"

"I don't think it's wise to tell you. It's essential that he does not know, and better if no one else does."

Yukito frowned. He did not like that.

Hiiragizawa sighed. "Our world is a gateway. It's easy to get into, and easy to get out of. I think Syaoran was an entity that desperately needed refuge. Whatever he use to be was a being of great power, for his will was enough to bring him here when all other factors fought against it. But even the strongest of wills has its breaking frequency. This is a question I prefer he never learns the answers to. If you are to be his guardian, I'd rather you not have to keep secrets from him."

Yukito did not really understand, and neither did Yue, but they did not argue with him. Something about Hiiragizawa's demeanor lent an ominous undertone to his explanation, one that foretold dire consequences. Hiiragizawa did not elaborate on what they were planning to do to ensure Syaoran's safety that night, and after Yukito went home, the more he thought about it the more worried he became.

Syaoran, in contrast, was eager to get on with things. The child was a little miffed that Hiiragizawa did not come straight over, but ultimately relented on the notion that Hiiragizawa likely had other errands to run, and having more sorcerers present might be better. When the time actually came, everyone convened in the Tsukishiro residence. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were tellingly absent. Yue changed to his true form and held Syaoran in silent support; the boy was still not completely at ease with him, but he had yet to push Yue away the way he had when he first arrived. Kerberus remained with Sakura at first, not arguing but not entirely enthusiastic.

"We're just going to do this now?" Touya demanded. "I mean, anything we're doing that's different from how it went before? Because last I remember, it didn't go so well before."

"Last time he did it," Hiiragizawa said simply, "I wasn't here to supervise."

" _Kami-sama_ ," Syaoran groaned, "just do it! I want to go home!"

"Shut up. Wanting to go home isn't a valid excuse for doing something dangerous. Or stupid. Or both."

Yue tugged Syaoran back before the boy could rise up to an argument with Touya. Syaoran glared at Yue in betrayal, but Yue returned with a stern look. "Let it go," he said quietly, so no one else could hear.

Syaoran did not know that Touya wanted Sakura to get rid of the cards as soon as possible, had been pushing for this as well, and that his harsh words were entirely the result of concern for Syaoran's well-being. To explain that would take too long, and this was not the setting for it.

Hiiragizawa gave Mizuki a look. "Are you ready?"

" _Hai,_ " she said easily.

The Clow Cards seemed eager to transfer, which was a little odd—perhaps it was the residual bond. Hiiragizawa removed their attachment to Sakura's magic, and her pink aura dimmed down to its original state. The book thrummed bright gold, and reached out to Hiiragizawa himself—he pushed them back and directed them to Syaoran.

They glowed, all at once, and beams of light materialized from each and then shot into Syaoran's right eye. It was so violent that the boy's head was knocked back into Yue, who caught him as the body seized.

" _Syaoran-kun!_ " Sakura cried, horrified.

Hiiragizawa waved his staff and tried to stop the process, but then the Nothing swelled, and Syaoran's entire body lit up, bright green. It was so bright, even Yue had to shield his face. He could not see anything, could not stop—could not save him.

_Syaoran!_

* * *

The Clow Cards formed a circle around him, all in their true forms. Beyond lay stars, gleaming lights of yellow, blue, white. Fifty-two spirits, like gods, forming a perimeter. The Nothing floated beside him.

Syaoran was floating too. He had no form, however; it was only his point of view. He saw the wide stretch of black, and comets, intermittent, while the galaxy spun and the universe grew. It was beautiful and vast and quiet, silent.

But then thunder rumbled, distant at first. The cards turned the sound died down, but then it rumbled again, closer and louder.

_Child of Lightning._

The Nothing sailed past Syaoran, through the circle of other spirits.

 _"Evil comes, sisters,"_ she whispered,  _"We must away."_

They linked, through their arms or their auras. Though he perceived no visible change, it seemed like they were moving, because the next thunder was far again. After a moment, he sensed them slow to a stop, though he still did not see anything in their environment to suggest they changed locations.

 

He looked around. He was unafraid, but he wondered. There was a familiarity to this. He had been here before, but he could not pinpoint when or how.

 _"Master,"_ the Nothing reached out to take his shoulders,  _"what is this place?"_

_I don't know._

Thunder cracked, right overhead. The cards turned as one, and the Shield Card expanded to cover all of them in a blue-green barrier.

_Child of Lightning, I have looked for you for a long time._

The Nothing pulled Syaoran back.

 _"Master…_ " she whispered.

There was something familiar about that voice, now that he heard it the second time.

 _"A great evil lives here,_ " said the Dark.  _"We cannot stay here."_

_"Master."_

Evil? Syaoran sensed no such thing. What were the cards talking about?

The Time Card floated forward. He lifted his hourglass. Sand was running down, but it was quickly running out.

_"Master._ _"_

They had to leave.

Before him, a figure flashed, but Syaoran was already drawing back. The stars fell away from him, and the cards formed a line after him as he withdrew. Then, a powerful, twisted magic shot toward him. It bounced on the Shield, but Syaoran still recognized it—remembered it, even, and—

* * *

Syaoran suddenly lunged from Yue's arms—and then promptly fell over.

After Yue and Kerberus checked him over—he had slammed his head on the coffee table, and would sport quite the goose egg from that—Hiiragizawa grabbed him by the arms and demanded to know what happened.

"Did they hurt you? How are your eyes?"

Syaoran rubbed his right eye. "It doesn't hurt," he noted. Then he exclaimed, "I can see!"

From his left eye, he meant.

"His aura's back," Sakura noted.

"It worked?" Touya asked hopefully.

"What happened when the cards bonded?" Hiiragizawa demanded again. "Did they send you visions?"

Syaoran was still fixated on his eyes. "I see double," he announced, after he stopped messing with his right eye.

"Xiaolang," Hiiragizawa tried to get his attention.

"I saw something. The cards…"

"What do you remember?"

"I was in…space," Syaoran blinked his eyes. "Ugh. They were there, in their true forms, but…there was something there."

Hiiragizawa stared at him.

"Ungh," Syaoran squeezed his eyes again.

"What was there?"

"I don't know. It looked like the man from the tomb."

"…Hoe?" Sakura blinked.

"What man from the tomb?"

"I don't know," Syaoran replied, to everyone's frustration. "He called me Child of Lightning, said that he had been looking for me for a while."

Hiiragizawa scowled. "He didn't say anything else?"

"The cards wanted to leave, so we left."

Touya groaned.

" _Kami-sama,_ " Kerberus exclaimed, "you sure know how to make a big deal out of things, kid."

But his vision came back—with depth perception, and without the right eye pain. It seemed like Cooper had been right; balancing the Clow Cards did end up balance Syaoran as well.

Yue leaned into the boy, relieved beyond words. He had not known what to think when the cards had behaved oddly  _yet again._

"Well, now I can tell Li Yelan that I did not kill her son with that stunt," Hiiragizawa said flatly, still too shaken to be all that pleased. "Mary Mother of God. Please tell me this is it."

The Clow Cards hummed contentedly from the Clow Book, still glowing that bright golden aura. Hiiragizawa leaned back.

"No. We're still not done," he informed everyone. "There are two more things we need to do."

"Oh  _come on_ ," Kerberus cried, "haven't we done enough for one day? I'm finished."

"Well the first one's not too bad," Hiiragizawa looked at Syaoran, "the second one can wait. He can even do this in Hong Kong. You need to transform the cards, but I'll explain that later. We'll first take care of the staff."

"The staff?"

The sealing wand was, of course, still pink. Hiiragizawa had Syaoran hold it with both hands. He then brought out the Moon Bell and touched it to the wand's head.

Both objects glowed, though nowhere as bright as Syaoran had when he was bonding with the cards. They then merged. The staff darkened from pink to brown, and then to green. The head of it also changed. A white crystal ball was balanced on the stem, surrounded by a lacework of green zigzags that tapered to a point on top, on which sat a green bead.

Syaoran rotated it upright.

"Are those  _green lightning bolts?_ " Touya asked.

"Child of Lightning," Hiiragizawa murmured.

Syaoran did not remain mesmerized by his new staff for long. He silently reduced the staff to its key form, considered it, and then looked up at Hiiragizawa. A brilliant smile appeared on his face.

"I can go home."

Somehow, Hiiragizawa managed a smile as well. "Indeed, Xiaolang. You are going home."

Yue looked at Touya and Sakura. Sakura was smiling sadly. Touya had no particular expression on his face.

Syaoran suddenly reached out and hugged Hiiragizawa. " _Arigatou. Arigatou. Arigatou gozaimasu."_

Hiiragizawa hugged back. "Of course, little one."

Syaoran let go abruptly and ran off without another word, leaving the Clow Book at the table. He was calling his mother to let her know that it was done. It was a testament to how badly the child had needed this. Yue and Kerberus looked at each other.

"Well," said Kerberus, "that's that, I suppose."

Hiiragizawa turned to them. "I don't like this."

"What now?" Touya demanded.

"What on earth is a Child of Lightning?" Hiiragizawa looked at the book. "And the man from the tomb…what did  _Daidouji-san_ say about his vision of the tomb?"

"He was following a man," Sakura recounted.

Hiiragizawa looked at the guardians. "So that vision is still fair game."

There was a pause.

"Chinese tomb in China," Touya remarked snarkily. "Why didn't we think of that."

"You two will need to be extra vigilant," Hiiragizawa told the guardians. "He may be back with his mother and sisters but he's also apparently going into a nest of vipers."

"Great," Kerberus exclaimed. "Leaving Tomoeda for that. Home sweet home."

"But if he's in danger…" Sakura broke in.

"I know," Hiiragizawa agreed. "Thing is, this confirms what James thought. He feels it's likely that Syaoran was a spirit who came to be to seek refuge."

"Something's after him," said Kaho. "We should come up with a plan, then."

"Might have to visit some Oracles, by proxy," said Hiiragizawa. "You two," he pointed to the Kinomotos, "stay put. And don't tell Syaoran about this. He doesn't seem too distressed, but I don't want to worry him."

" _Un_ ," Sakura nodded.

Touya groaned. "This is a terrible idea."


	22. Fragrant Harbor

Syaoran's four sisters came to pick him up from the airport. They were four beauties that all looked somewhat like Syaoran himself, as the guardians had expected from the photos. They were also incredibly hyperactive, fawning over Yukito and remarking on how handsome he looked—awkward on many levels, but not something Yukito could protest, because despite this, their main attention was on their little brother, who practically got smothered between them. Kerberus also provoked some squealing from them, enough that it was actually a little traumatic. Syaoran did not say anything to any of the girls, just held on to the eldest like a baby sloth.

Yukito was not sure what he expected, but their entrance into the Li territory was not particularly dramatic. On the way from the airport, they were treated to some nondescript scenery, mostly buildings and some occasional greenery, along the highways, before exiting into the local traffic where different restaurants opened. The Li territory was a large area in the middle of the bustling city, but it was walled off, gated by a pair of very traditional Chinese doors. Within were actually several buildings, some very modern and others very Chinese. Syaoran's family actually lived in one of the modern ones, though the interior, again, was very Chinese. It was kind of a mess of styles.

No one else greeted them when they came in, though there were clearly more people living here. Syaoran abandoned Yukito and Kero, and bolted ahead of his sisters to reach the house first. Unfortunately, Li Yelan was not there; she had gone out. Syaoran was visibly disappointed.

"You'll see her, silly," his eldest sister exclaimed. "You're here. She'll come home."

"I know…"

Caught up in finally being home, Syaoran also left the task of settling the guests to his sisters. For the large house, the sisters actually roomed together in two's, and there were no servants in their particular household. Syaoran's own room was more like a closet, with a small bed that was only big enough for one person.

"It  _was_ a closet," the second sister clarified.

"…OK," said Yukito.

There were some things in there, though, and after familiarizing himself with his own room and getting his suitcases situated, Yukito went back to take a look. Syaoran had already lied on the bed before, for the covers were lifted, but the boy had gone to the kitchen with his sisters to get something to eat. Kero joined him as he looked through the books on the bookshelf.

"He likes Journey to the West," Yukito noted. There was a figurine of the Monkey on the table. "He also likes the Romance of Three Kingdoms."

"So cliché," Kero rolled his eyes. The sun guardian had not been too enthused to leave Tomoeda, and while the boy had been sick, he and Yue got into multiple intense debates about how to approach the inevitable transfer of ownership. Fortunately, he and Syaoran got along quite well on the flight here. It seemed like things might be peaceful, if not exactly harmonious.

"Maybe, but he's never talked about them before," Yukito picked up what turned out to be a comic book. "Tales of Afanti, Jin Yong. He likes  _wuxia_ novels."

"Of course he does."

"Not a lot of toys in this room," Yukito noted, opening drawers just to check. There was one stuffed wolf, which looked more like a wolf than the plushie from Hiiragizawa's mansion. Also uglier.

"What's this pile of paper here?" Kero asked. "Homework?"

But they were doodles, many of partial faces, a couple of cartoonish lizards. There was one amazingly detailed one, that looked like a robed scholar with a feathered fan, squeezed under a few random rectangles and Syaoran's own name in an attempt at imitating a calligraphic font.

"This is kind of awesome," Kero remarked, genuinely tickled by this particular finding. "I'm surprised he kept it."

"I don't think he thought to get rid of it," Yukito then proceeded to steal it. He knew Yue would want it.

By the time they went to join the siblings, Li Yelan had come home. Contrary to her disposition on the phone, she was hugging her youngest child, and it was immediately apparent why Syaoran had longed so desperately to come back to her.

It took a while for her to acknowledge Yukito and Kero.

"You are the Clow guardians," she looked at them for a moment. "You are not what I expected."

"They're in their false forms," Syaoran supplied, coming over to join his guardians. " _Mama_ , this is Yutsing Syutou, he's the false form of Yue. This is Kerou."

Yukito felt compelled to bow. Something about this lady made him feel meek.

"It is an honor to meet you, Guardians of Clow," Li Yelan bowed in turn. "I hope my children have taken good care of you before I arrived."

"They have," said Yukito.

"Good," said she. "My son is fortunate to have the two of you. I foresee many good things to come."

Li Yelan stayed with them for the rest of the day, and seemed to eye her youngest with a particularly keen eye. She seemed disquieted by his behavior and his overall look, though she made no obvious comment. Syaoran, for his part, seemed completely oblivious; he ate as much as Yukito did, which was a lot, and was largely silent, unwilling or unable to laugh or smile. He did not seem happy so much as intense; he had been that way since going to the airport in Tomoeda earlier in the morning. Too desperately excited to feel true joy.

After lunch, Li Yelan suggested they take all take a nap. Ignoring the perplexed looks his sisters gave him, Syaoran went with his mother without any question or room for argument, stopping only in his room to retrieve his pajamas. The ones he left behind when he left for Japan were too short for him, so he had to put on the ones Mizuki and Hiiragizawa had bought. One of his sisters went with him and saw Daidouji's outfit.

"Where did you get that?" she asked.

"A friend made it," he replied.

She wanted to see him in it, which Syaoran wiggled his way out of. He then went to his mother's room. Li Yelan guided him in, wearing the same expression she had since reuniting with her son, though once again, she said nothing.

"He is so thin," said his sisters. "I'm told Japanese food is horrible; they don't  _cook_ their food, they just eat it raw, and they have no flavor. Did you see how he stuffed himself at lunch earlier?"

"He's very wounded. I wonder what had happened in Japan."

"Don't suppose  _he'd_ tell us, now that he's here."

After the nap, Syaoran's sisters finally bullied him into Daidouji's outfit, and then dragged him downstairs to show his mother. She had company, however, and they all froze as Syaoran came downstairs.

" _Ng kau,_ " one of the sisters greeted, and all five of them sobered.

 _Ng kau._ Fifth uncle.

Yukito also came down with Kero on his shoulder. The man did not feel very remarkable, but something about his posture made Yukito suspect that he was actually a very powerful sorcerer.

"Ah, there is our lad of the hour," he turned, and his face became very considering. He was a tall man, much taller than Li Yelan, with black hair and dark eyes. His skin was fair, and his face was long and angular. His nose was higher than most Asian's and just a touch crooked to the side. Overall, he was not an unpleasant-looking man, but something about him made Yukito's nape tingle.

"He's turned into a lovely-looking boy, if a bit thin," he remarked dispassionately.

"Xiaolang," said Li Yelan, "don't you know to greet your uncle?"

" _Ng kau,_ " Syaoran bowed a little.

"Come here," said the sorcerer, extending a hand. "Let me have a look at you."

Syaoran went, and Yukito resisted the urge to reach out to pull him back. The man reached out to take Syaoran by the face.

"He looks more and more like his father."

"So it seems," Li Yelan agreed.

"Well," the sorcerer released him, "the Card Master now, eh? That is quite an achievement. Took you a while, but you did it." He looked up, and his attention zeroed in on Yukito. "And this, I assume, must be one of the guardians."

Yukito inclined his head; he did not wish to bow to this man. "Well met," he replied.

Kero did not even bother to make his presence known.

The sorcerer turned to Li Yelan. "Well, a congratulations are in order, dear sister. You must be glad to have your son back home."

"Thank you, brother."

"I won't trouble you much longer. I'll see you in a couple of hours, then?"

"Indeed." Li Yelan went with the sorcerer to walk him out.

Syaoran darted to his sisters as soon as they were out of sight. "I  _told_ you they make me look like a  _girl!_ " he hissed, and then wiped at his face, hard enough that the skin turned red.

Yukito grabbed his wrist to get him to stop, though he understood why the boy was doing it. "Who was he?" he asked the sisters.

"Fifth uncle," said the youngest, "always hated that our brother was born. Messed up his plans."

_Great._

"I'm not wearing this all day," Syaoran pulled away and tugged at his shirt, his fifth uncle immediately forgotten. "Ugh, how did this get in my suitcase anyway?"

* * *

Later that evening, Syaoran obtained the idea that he wanted to fly over Hong Kong. He also wanted to know which of the guardians was faster. Li Yelan did not approve, but did not refuse him very firmly, and Syaoran persisted with carrying this out. He had the Fly now, of course, but his first instinct was to have Yue carry him.

Neither Kerberus nor Yue remarked on how this reflected Syaoran's relationship with Ruby Moon. They were both surprised that Syaoran did not shy away from any reminder. It was actually quite touching, how much faith the boy had in him. He did not question whether Yue would drop him, taking for granted that he was safe with the guardian. They soared high over the city, where Yue was treated to a view of Hong Kong in modern times; strewn with glittering lights, such that the stars in the sky were obscured. They raced above the rooftops, with Kerberus in his true form, and Syaoran turned out to have quite the daring streak, leaning out of Yue's arms so that even the moon guardian was afraid he might fall. He grabbed Kerberus by the ruff and moved from Yue's arms to transfer himself to the other guardian's back.

" _Ai!"_ Kerberus exclaimed, flapping his wings to keep himself steady so the boy would not fall, "What are you doing?!"

Yue would like to know as well. This was an incredibly bold move. Enough that he felt like his heart might stop. He had not anticipated this at all; Syaoran never demonstrated enough trust in Kerberus for him to predict such a thing.

Syaoran grinned, the first time since arriving in Hong Kong. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing!"

"Well you better unless you want to end up as a pancake down there! Yue!"

It was already apparent why every time Syaoran went flying, he would have a late morning. Clearly, once he was in the air, he threw all caution to the wind. Yue wasted no time getting him back, as Kerberus had no arms to prevent the blasted child from some other reckless stunt, but Syaoran seemed to relax after that, content to hold on to Yue from there and just enjoy the view. They made their way to the International Commerce Center, where Syaoran requested they sit and rest. Yue thought Li Yelan might want her son to come home sooner rather than later, but Syaoran did not seem to be in any hurry. He sat next to Yue, legs dangling over the edge. Yue anxiously kept an arm around the child, just in case the boy made a false move and plummeted down.

"You two use to live in Hong Kong, right?"

"In the general area," Kerberus remarked, "it wasn't called Hong Kong then, and it looked nothing like this."

"It was called Bao'an," said Yue, "and later it merged with two other counties and became Boluo."

Syaoran snapped his head to look at him. "You were  _here?!_ "

Of course the boy would pick up on this. "Yes, we were here. It was a chaotic time."

The boy did not smile, exactly, but a look of awe crossed over his face. "You  _lived_ through the Three Kingdoms period?! Are you  _serious?!_ "

"You didn't know this?" Kerberus teased.

Syaoran twisted around to grab at Yue. "You lived through the Three Kingdoms!! Did you meet Liu Bei? Have you met Guan Yu? What about Cao Cao?!"

"You realize most of the stuff in the romance isn't true."

"But they were real!" the boy exclaimed, and Yue thought wryly that he was not going to sleep at all tonight. "You were there! That is the  _best thing ever!_ What about Zhou Yu? He's my favorite!"

"Zhou Lang?" Yue looked at Kero, a little surprised by the selection. Zhou Yu, often nicknamed "Zhou Lang", or Zhou the Youth, was a historical figure from that time, said to be fair of face and talented in both civil and martial arts. He had a keen strategic acumen that would have been ranked among the best of that period, were it not for his untimely death at the age of thirty-five. His reputation among modern times was somewhat tainted by the Romance of Three Kingdoms, however, as there was a more successful strategist named Zhuge Liang, whose intellect was slightly exaggerated compared to his true accomplishments, but he was often the fan favorite. Zhou Yu was often depicted as his nemesis, with fits of jealousy and attempts to undermine Zhuge to no avail. Between the two, most people would not choose Zhou Yu, even though the real man had been much less petty; he was no friend of Zhuge Liang, but he was known to be magnanimous, and earned the highest of respect from everyone around him. "No, we've never met him."

"'If Yu is sired, why sire Liang?'" Syaoran quoted. "When I first read that line, I thought, ah, Destiny can be so unkind, because why _was_ there Zhuge Liang if there already was a Zhou Yu? But it is no kinder to Zhuge Liang either, for he could not reunite China any more than Zhou Yu could."

Kerberus made a low purring sound. "You know he never said that."

"Shut up. It's a good line."

"He still never said it."

"Shush! You've never met him. He could have said it."

Yue found himself smiling. "We can tell you what he  _was_ like. He was a treasure of his province. He was incredibly intelligent and talented, in both warfare, arts, and literature. To befriend him was to gain a brother—to offend him was to rain down Heaven's wrath. Others tried to slander him, mainly to break up his relationship with his lord, Sun Quan, but rumors had no power over his reputation—not at that time. He died young, and it was a sad time. I remember even Clow Reed had been affected by the news."

"He was?"

"He was like a celebrity," said Kerberus, "everyone knew him. Everyone knew Zhuge Liang too. But Clow Reed  _was_ sad about his death. It was pretty abrupt too."

"Wu would have won if he had lived," said Yue. "One might say that he was crossed off because he was too good; only cruel nature could have removed him from the game. The Three Kingdoms were never meant to reunite, the way they were."

"Was it scary to live during that time?" Syaoran asked.

"The war did not touch us," said Yue, "but we did leave Bao'an after the _coup d'etat_. China was so young, then. We weren't sure it was possible  _to_ reunite, and how long that would take. Clow had enough problems as it was."

"But you kept track, still?"

"Clow did. It was his mother's land and he had a fondness for it. One reason why he chose to settle in Japan rather than somewhere in Europe, like Ireland."

They watched the nighttime traffic in the city for a while.

"Your mother probably wants you to come home," Kerberus said at last.

Syaoran yawned. "Fiiiiiine. Can we go flying again tomorrow night?"

"Sure." Kerberus yawned as well. "Whenever you want, kid."

* * *

 The next morning, Syaoran woke as soon as he felt his mother's warmth dissipate.

"You can sleep a little more," she suggested, when he sat up to watch her pull out her clothes from the closet.

" _Mama,_ " he frowned.

She frowned in turn. "What's wrong?"

"I want you to stay."

She sat down at the edge of the bed. "Xiaolang, you're a big boy. You don't need your mother with you all the time."

Syaoran looked down.

"You're Card Master now. You have nothing to fear."

"I know." That did not make Syaoran want her any less.

She considered him for a while. "They'll expect you to finish what we started, now that you have the cards and you're back from Japan."

"I know."

"What's wrong?"

Syaoran looked to the side. "I don't feel right…I thought…I thought coming back here would make me right again."

Li Yelan reached out to cup his face. "You are my flesh and bone. I know you. You're fine. Don't be like this."

Syaoran inhaled deeply and sighed.

"You've suffered a great deal, my child," his mother said gently. "But you are no longer alone. Those guardians really care about you, especially Yue. If you're ever in danger, you can always go to them. That is what they're there for."

Syaoran nodded.

His sisters brought up the subject of school later, when they all convened for breakfast. Li Yelan had already left the house.

"When's he going back to school?" Feimei asked. "The term's already started for a while now."

" _Mama_ said she wants him to acclimate this week," Fuutie announced.

Yukito looked over at Syaoran, who stared at his sister. He had no idea.

"Lucky!" Fanren exclaimed.

"Not lucky," Shiefa pointed out, "he's going to have to make up for so much work."

Syaoran barely managed to sink his face into the table at the thought.

"Well,  _Mama_ doesn't seem worried."

"Does he even remember school?" Fanren teased. "You've been out of school for like, months."

Syaoran abruptly lost what was left of his appetite. It was odd, how the memory of starvation and thirst would make him  _not_ want to eat.

"Don't stress him out," Fuutie scolded.

"What made you miss school anyway?" Feimei asked.

Syaoran blinked.  _They don't know._

_They don't know._

Time seemed to slow. He felt like he was moving through water. He heard voices, but they felt muffled and far away. His skin felt numb and his mouth felt dry. He was aware he had left his seat, but he was not sure where he was going. Somewhere to hide, but there was nowhere to hide in this house. Nowhere he could hide from himself.

A white wing draped over him, and strong arms wrapped around him, pressing his head to a shoulder.

"… _breathe. Slow."_

_"You're OK."_

_I'm OK._ Syaoran inhaled. Yue's moon magic was silky and flowing around him.

"There we go," he heard Kero say. "He's calming down."

"What was that?" Fuutie demanded.

"We'll answer your questions," he heard Yue reply, "but best not ask him about that for now."

"This is not good," said Shiefa. "The others are going to want to know. If he has a fit like that, they'll be down on him faster than you can blink."

Syaoran shuddered, and Yue's embrace tightened.

"They'll have to get through us," the moon guardian reminded them.

After a moment, Syaoran drew back. Yue let him go. He turned to look at his sisters, all of whom were staring at him. He opened his mouth, but no words even formed in his head. How could he explain what had happened? He never had to, before. His friends in Tomoeda just knew. His mother had known. He never had to put it to words. He could not even begin to imagine how he would try.

"Brother?" Feimei inquired.

He closed his mouth.  _No. Not right now._ He looked at his seat, contemplating resuming his breakfast, but his mouth tasted bitter.

"Why don't you take him away?" Kero offered. "I'll tell them."

Yue's arms came around him again. "Come, little one," the guardian murmured.

Syaoran followed a little blindly. "Where is  _Mama?_ "

"She'll be back soon."

He was led to the couch in the living room, where Yue sat him down, and then enveloped him in a close embrace, wings stretched over him to hide him from the world. Syaoran wrapped his own arms around the guardian's neck and hung on for a long time.

 _Why is this still happening?_ He thought he was getting better. Hong Kong was so far away from Japan. The conversations were all in a completely different language. He was finally surrounded by the people he dearly needed, and yet he was still acting like a  _baby_. What was  _wrong_ with him?

Yue must have sensed his frustration. "You're being too hard on yourself."

"I thought I'd stop  _doing_ this," Syaoran snapped.

"What happened to you scares all of us too," said Yue, "and we weren't there. We only saw what could have been, and how close you really were to being lost to us. We will never regard that time without horror and grief." His voice went low. "Centuries later, I will still remember."

Syaoran looked up. It had not occurred to him that what happened to him had also hurt others. In a way, he should have realized this, but he had been so focused on trying to make himself  _right_ again.

Every time Syaoran freaked out, the guardians, Eriol, Sakura, even her brother, also felt that same pain from the reminder. And the guardians will remember this forever, for they are immortal.

"I'm sorry," he buried his face into Yue's shoulder.

"It's nothing compared to what you're going through," said the guardian, moving his hands soothingly up and down Syaoran's back. "I mention it because you are not alone, and what you are feeling is not abnormal, because we feel the same, if to a lesser degree. You are strong and brave. Never doubt that. None of this is a show of weakness. Needing help is not being weak. You have fought the battle and emerged victorious. All of this is just the healing process. Be patient."

His sisters were much more subdued after listening to whatever Kero said to them. They made no outward mention of it, but Syaoran was aware of their looks. Yue stayed in his true form and kept close, a silent support most of the time. But the rest of the meal passed with no further incidents.

Syaoran showed the guardians outside, where the tree he use to curl up on to read as a child had grown even taller. Initially, he climbed up himself, out of reflex and also the desire to connect to that old habit he had formed here. Kero, small and light, floated up with him, which left Yue by himself on the ground. Not wanting to leave him out, Syaoran invited him up as well, and somehow, as the conversation went on, he ended up cradled on Yue's lap, with Kero sitting on his own stomach.

"Guan Yu had a long beard," Kero said, "but not that long. And not that thick. Good heavens, like, his beard wasn't even really all that special for the time. People sure know how to exaggerate. And he never had a red face—that's a sign of heart failure, which is not conducive to fighting battles."

Rather than be disappointed, Syaoran just became more fascinated.

Yue stayed out of the conversation this time, and he would sometimes move a little to adjust his gentle hold on Syaoran. He had become a platform of sorts; Yue was sitting directly on the branch, leaning against the trunk, and Syaoran was sitting entirely on him, legs over his and rump right on Yue's pelvis. Yue had his wings curved on either side, as if to catch the boy if he tipped over, but he also had his arms around Syaoran's middle. Syaoran was not sure how comfortable Yue was, but Syaoran felt really cozy and happy.

"Was Cao Cao really ugly?"

"Don't know. Never met him."

"But Zhou Yu was handsome."

Yue's stomach contracted and vibrated under him. He was silent, so it took a moment for Syaoran to realize he was  _laughing_.

"You are  _really_ fixated on Zhou Lang," Kero noted. "Do you have a crush on him?"

His amazement at this rare display from Yue was quickly overwritten by the need to defend his pride. "I don't have a crush on him! I just like him!"

"Don't tease, Kerberus," Yue chastised.

"I think that classifies as a crush," Kero persisted, looking bemused. "You know, he's pretty and everything, but there were others that were attractive too. Like Zhao Yun."

Sacrilege, comparing Zhou Yu and Zhao Yun. Those were totally different men. "He's not as smart as Zhou Yu."

"This kid," Kero exclaimed, and Yue's stomach vibrated again.

After a few more questions, all of which revealed that the book was complete nonsense, Syaoran curled up and rested his head against Yue's shoulder. It occurred to him seconds later that Yue might not appreciate Syaoran treating him as an  _actual_ mattress, but the moon guardian simply shifted with him to keep him properly supported.

_This is really nice._

"Do you miss that time?" he asked the guardians. "The world must have been very different. Less noisy."

"They didn't have as much good food," said Kero, "and they didn't have videogames. There are things I miss about that time though. People knew a lot of things that they have since forgotten."

"Must be amazing, seeing how the world changes."

Yue's arms suddenly tightened, and the guardian leaned forward so his head pressed against the side of Syaoran's own. Syaoran was not sure what he said, but something seemed to bother the guardian. Startled, he was afraid to say any more. After a moment, Yue relaxed, but it was difficult to restart conversation. Even Kero did not seem inclined to talk.

The breeze rustled the leaves above them, sending a few showering down. Through the gaps, the sunlight soaked into Syaoran's skin. He closed his eyes and relaxed as well, sinking into Yue.

In what seemed like a blink of an eye, Fuutie was below, murmuring, "Always choosing trees. He's a monkey in a past life."

Syaoran blinked his eyes open, every muscle on his limbs like heavy silk, as Yue murmured from around him, "I don't mind."

Kero was already floating into the house.

Feeling Syaoran move, Yue murmured, "Syaoran, do you want to eat now? Lunch is ready."

Already? Had he fallen asleep for that long? He tried to move again and only let out a sleepy groan.

"Come in when you're ready," Fuutie turned to go back into the house.

Syaoran tried again, and somehow fell asleep for a few seconds, seeing random things behind his eyelids that were deeper than daydreams and yet not quite so immersive that he was unaware of the real world. Did Yue put a spell on him? Or maybe it was just Yue himself. Maybe moon guardians were a soporific. He was so comfortable.

"Syaoran, come, you can sleep more after you eat."

_Nnnnnnnnnnnnyuh._

"Syaoran," Yue shook him a little, a smile in his voice, "aren't you hungry?"

Hungry. He was eating chocolate noodles. They were not nearly as good as they should have been. He could not really taste them, for one. Wait, that is a dream. He was not eating anything right now.

"Man," said Kero, who had come back. "This kid can really sleep. I don't remember him being so good at sleeping back in Tomoeda. Maybe you're just a nice pillow."

Yue shook him again. "Come, Syaoran, you have to get up. It's time for lunch and we need to get down."

"Ullllllllllh."

"Syaoran," Yue was relentless this time. "Come on." Syaoran felt the guardian press his lips against Syaoran's temple. "Time to wake up."

Kero laughed.

"Did we tire him out that much last night?"

Yue kissed him again. "Wake up."

Syaoran finally managed to open his eyes and keep them open. With that, the hunger pangs started.

"Did he turn into a fairy?" Fuutie exclaimed at the door, "doesn't need to eat anymore?"

"He's coming," Yue swung his body around so they could jump down. Syaoran still felt woozy, but the smell of food had reached his nostrils and his stomach started actively growling.

Lunch. He wanted that.

"Boys," Fuutie rolled her eyes as Syaoran slipped past her.

* * *

After lunch, Syaoran was awake and alert enough that the boy went out to the gardens instead of taking another nap. He headed out with Kerberus, while the sisters kept Yue in the kitchens, asking him dozens of questions. Li Yelan did not see fit to inform her daughters of Syaoran's kidnapping, nor did she talk about the negative magic.

"It explains a lot," said Feimei, "but I don't think the rest of the clan should know."

"Of course the rest of the clan shouldn't know," Shiefa exclaimed.

"It's strange how the Clow Cards could expose his magic like that," Fuutie mused thoughtfully.

"At least he doesn't seem to have a bad reaction to them now."

They were tickled when Yue told them about Syaoran's enthusiasm about the Three Kingdoms.

"He loves that tale," said Fuutie. "Loves Zhou Yu of all people, the dork."

"I think he feels a kinship with Zhou Yu," said Fanren. "Zhou Yu feels a little bit like an unnecessary addition to the ensemble of geniuses in that time, particularly with Zhuge Liang in the picture."

"Zhou Yu was not like that at all," Fuutie laughed. "But the Romance is a fun read."

Something compelled Yue to head out, afterwards. In the garden, he saw why: Syaoran, Kero on his shoulder, stood opposite a number of adults—three sorcerers composed of two men and one woman, all wearing dark robes, while behind them were servants clad in  _hanfu_ uniforms, numbering about five. None of them saw Yue at first, so the guardian inched closer.

 _"You have not come to greet the clan,"_ the woman was saying.

 _"My apologies, aunt,"_ said Syaoran, in very measured, professional tones,  _"I had some important errands to take care of."_

 _"Really?"_ the man raised his eyebrows.  _"What errands are these? Gardening?"_

"Syaoran," Yue called.

Syaoran turned his head. The three sorcerers also looked at him.

"Who are you?"

"This is Yue, the Moon Guardian," said Syaoran, stepping over to Yue.

"You call your master by name?" the second man noted.

"I want him to," Syaoran replied, stopping before the guardian. Kerberus turned his head around to look at Yue, frowning. He had not attracted their attention yet, and uncharacteristically, Kerberus was keeping a low profile. "That is between him and me."

"So you  _are_ the Card Master, then," said the sorceress. "Here we thought our dear cousin was lying."

"I'll be sure to let her know you came around," Syaoran said icily.

"Very good," said the first man rubbed his hands, "you can finally gain back what your dead father had lost."

The second sorcerer was glaring at Yue. "Will he not greet us, this guardian of yours?"

"Why should he?" Syaoran pointed out. "He is more your elder than you are his."

The sorceress released a laugh. "Elder?" she then looked at Yue. "One who is not even human? I see going to Japan has made you insolent, boy."

Syaoran stepped forward, his aura suddenly flashing. "I am Card Master!" he snapped. "Take care how you address my guardians,  _aunt._ I can be a  _lot_ more insolent!"

The sorcerers were surprised by this show of defiance.

" _Wa,_ " said the first sorcerer, "his wings have hardened, I see! Do you no longer wish to remain a Li, now that you are ready to fly,  _Card Master?_ "

"His mother will hear about this," the sorceress sneered.

Syaoran turned his back on them, a statement in of itself, though the boy did not appear to have done so for that purpose. He reached out for Yue's hand. Yue gave it, and the child squeezed in a death grip as he marched away from the trio.

"Really!" the second sorcerer exclaimed. "Walking away! Japan really  _has_ stripped him of all his morals! You stop right there, boy!"

Syaoran wavered for just a millisecond, but Kerberus whispered something into his ear, and somehow this encouraged Syaoran to keep moving forward. Yue kept his senses on high alert for any movement behind them; eight to three were not the worst odds, considering that five of them were not magical from what he could sense, but speed and surprise could always sway the tides. But beyond verbally complaining about supposed lack of manners, the sorcerers did nothing else.

Syaoran and his guardians made their way back into the house.

"I was  _this_ close to releasing the Nothing on them," Syaoran admitted as soon as they were indoors. His aura was black with rage. He had been very angry.

"You did well," Kerberus floated off his shoulder. "You stood your ground and you ended the conversation on your own terms."

"I was running away."

"But you were in control."

It took some time for the child to calm down.

"They  _will_ bring it up to  _Mama_ ," he lamented. "I don't know what she'll do."

"She won't do anything," said Yue.

"Don't be so sure."

"She won't," Yue said confidently. "You have me and Kerberus now. She wouldn't have to do anything." He gave Kerberus a look. Kerberus looked grim.

Syaoran heaved a sigh, clearly not encouraged.

"Kid, have a little faith in us," Kerberus poked him in the head. "Stop worrying, alright? Let's go watch television or something."


	23. Friendly Branch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zhou Yu = Shu Yu in Japanese  
> Zhuge Liang = Shokatsu Ryou in Japanese
> 
> Yes these were real people, and they are very well known throughout the sinosphere, as were the accounts of the Three Kingdoms era in general.

Tomoeda felt emptier after they left. Sakura was so use to finding Kero playing video games in her room, or seeing Yukito's gentle smile whenever her brother showed up to ruin her day. Syaoran's seat, empty since the start of the trimester, felt like a heavy reminder of what should have been. It was more difficult, too, to really cope with the change, because there were so few people she could talk to about it. Chiharu, Yamazaki, Naoko, and Rika had no idea about magic, Hiiragizawa and Mizuki were preoccupied with Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, and the only people she could really talk to were Touya and Tomoyo. She would sit during lunch with her friends and sigh, and they would ask her why, and Sakura would be unable to explain how she had lost so many friends all at once.

Hiiragizawa did pick up where Syaoran had left off in terms of magical training, now that it was clear Syaoran would not be around to do it. It was somewhat difficult to learn from him, because Hiiragizawa found magic to be so easy, unlike Syaoran, who knew all sorts of little tricks and missteps that he would teach in order to increase Sakura's success with her spells. The older sorcerer was patient, but his explanations were not as clear.

She really missed Syaoran.

Tomoeda's trees blossomed into hues of reds, golds, and browns as the leaves lost their green, almost as if overnight. The chill in the air grew more tangible on her tongue. School was school, and home was home, and in between, Sakura struggled to find that blissful state from the past, before the Clow Cards, when she had just been an ordinary girl. But that void in her life hovered about her, refusing to be ignored.

She received a letter from Syaoran, Yukito, and Kero a week after they left. They arrived in the same envelope. Syaoran's letter was suitably brief, asking after her and their friends in Tomoeda, and confirming that he was well. Yukito and Kero provided far more information, overlapping somewhat with each other; clearly, they did not write their letters together.

Kero was pleased to announce that the ' _gaki'_ had yet to annoy him, but had plenty to say about Syaoran's family, mainly his more distant relatives and their 'cocky attitude'. They seemed to have the same reaction to his false form as Syaoran initially did, which explained a lot, and seemed to treat Syaoran with a kind of hostility that Sakura would have found difficult to believe, if Yukito's letter did not corroborate. Yukito's letter was much more subdued in tone; his letter to Sakura was actually more brief, focusing less on Syaoran and more on the scenes and sights of Hong Kong, the kindness of their direct hosts, and Yue's observations about how times have changed, but he had included a letter to Touya that was much more detailed about Syaoran, as well as Li Yelan.

"'In front of the relatives, _Li Yelan-san_  would feel the need to remonstrate her son,'" Touya read, "'but in private she never raises her voice at him. His sisters tell me that this is unusual; she seems to have altered her approach due to her concerns for him, but it's still odd to me that she should put up a performance in the first place. She is a very formal woman, even with her children, though she has allowed _Syaoran-kun_ to come close to her at this time. He is eager to please her, as one might expect, and has been very stressed by the conflict between his need to defend me and  _Kero-chan_ , and making things easier on his mother.  _Kero-chan_ and I have tried telling him that we can handle ourselves, but appearances are very important in this family, and he is correct in making a consistent stance. His relatives are also applying pressure on him to obtain the family artifacts, but he hasn't been eager to start, and his mother doesn't seem keen on sending him. She hasn't even enrolled him in school yet. Truthfully, he still seems to be finding his equilibrium.' Good grief, are all Chinese families this weird?" Touya made a face. "'As for me, I have been spending time with _Syaoran-kun_ , at least when Yue is not. He is a huge fan of the Romance of Three Kingdoms; his favorite character is Shu Yu, and he's been peppering us with questions about him as well as the Three Kingdom's period'— _matte_ , Yue and Kero lived through the Three Kingdom's period?" Touya grabbed at his hair. "That is so cool and  _so_ unfair! I've had Yukito for far longer! How come I didn't get the inside scoop on this?"

 _"Hoeeeeee!"_  Sakura exclaimed.

"' _Kero-chan_ has been teasing him for having a crush, which I think was rather unfair; everyone had a crush on Shu Yu back then, even when  _Shokatsu Ryou_ emerged in the spotlight. In any case,  _Syaoran-kun_  has taken us to see a few tourist sites. The food is very good; great pork buns. They somehow taste different from the ones in Japan. The weather is quite warm. At some point, you and your sister should come visit.' Well, not sure I want to, with that crazy family."

" _Syaoran-kun_ still hasn't started school?" Sakura was a little jealous.

"Well this was written a few days ago," Touya pointed out, "but not entirely surprised. I mean, a lot has happened and he should probably get settled first. Especially with his stupid relatives, plus clearly his mother is worried about him. And for good reason. Shu Yu? What a dork. Why would anyone pick _him_ over Shokatsu Ryou as their favorite figure in the Three Kingdoms? _Baka_."

Sakura and Touya wrote back, though neither of them had much to say.

The same day, she was at Hiiragizawa's mansion, having little luck manipulating fire; she never mastered the other elements as easily as she had mastered the wind. Something about the magic just did not want to work with her. After about twenty minutes without luck, Hiiragizawa stopped her.

"You're upset," he said. "No power would obey you in this state. What's wrong?"

Sakura sighed. " _Gomen ne._ "

"Don't worry about that. What is bothering you?"

She shrugged despondently.

"Just…magic doesn't seem that great anymore."

Hiiragizawa was silent for a long time.

"It's not usually this chaotic," he finally said. "What you've seen…what we've gone through…that's outside the norm."

"Is it?" Sakura still remembered the dream where she had seen Clow Reed.

"There are always shadows. The dark side of the moon, the flip side of things. Even in the nonmagical world, there are bits of evil scattered around. Murders. Fighting. You've read about assassins in history textbooks, gangs and mafias in the news. But they don't tend to touch the common man. All the politics, the battles, take place elsewhere. Not in Tomoeda. And it's the same thing with magic; there  _is_ a community, and it can get dire, but there are a lot of sorcerers around, and they live their lives as normally as anyone else."

" _Syaoran-kun_ is normal, and yet he got hurt."

Hiiragizawa paused. "Syaoran is not normal."

She supposed he was right, though this did not make her feel better.

"I understand,  _Sakura-san_. Magic was initially this exciting world, full of promise, but it turned into a rude awakening. I'll admit, it's brought its share of problems to me as well. Actions have greater consequences.  _Wishes_ have greater consequences. When you can level an island with a single thought, it seems like the whole world is working against you even as it bends to your will. But for all that there are scary things out there, there are good things too. Spirits of great beauty and kindness, beings that defy your wildest imaginings. And it's part of who you are. This is a power that is yours to use as you choose. You can use it to protect those you love and understand phenomena no one else can. Isn't that a good thing?"

"Spirits?" Sakura looked at him. "Ghosts?"

Hiiragizawa laughed a little. "There are many beings out there. Some are bad but…some are good too. In any case, maybe in a few months, we can go over to Hong Kong together to visit him."

That was an idea.

"Not sure  _Otou-san_ would be willing, though."

"We'll see."

Two weeks later, Sakura dreamed. She was at the Tsukimine Shrine, and a tall figure was standing by the trees. The silhouette was poorly defined and she could not see the face, but she knew it was looking at her, summoning her. She approached.

 _"Where is the Child of Lightning?"_ it boomed. Magic tumbled, and her heart hammered in sudden fear.

 _"He's not here,"_ Sakura whispered.

As she came closer, the figure illuminated, and she saw it. His skin was as white as paper, and his hair was an iridescent sheen of gray, green, and blue. Two small eyes peered from where eyes usually were, but at the center of his forehead was a large one, yellow like a cat's, with a horizontal slit pupil like a goat. He had no nose or mouth. Around his head was a chain mail hood like those of western knights, but over his shoulders was a black cloak, tied around his thick neck by strings of silver threads. On the top of his head, a crown of bones and teeth wove into a wreath. They were stained glossy crimson, and even as she stared, they dripped.

 _"A little Star Maiden,"_ said the monster.  _"I will take you for now."_

 _No._ Horror washed over her, and Sakura yanked herself back as a black shadow, with multiple fingers like spider-legs, extended toward her.  _I must get out of here!_

She woke, shuddering, and dared not sleep. She rolled over to confide to Kero, but she was alone in her room. Frightened and dismayed, she burst into tears and sobbed.

She missed Kero. She missed Yukito. She missed Syaoran. She wished Syaoran did not have to go back to Hong Kong and take everyone with him. She felt so lonely and abandoned and scared.

The lights suddenly came on. Sakura nearly screamed.

" _Imotou-chan?"_ Touya stepped in; he had opened the door already and had clearly observed that she was awake. He looked at her, took in her wet face, and then looked around the room.

"Was someone here?" he asked.

"Hoe?  _Ano_ — _iie._ No one was here." Sakura had to stop to sniffle.

Her brother came to her bed. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I just had a bad dream."

Touya frowned, though. "What did you dream about?"

Sakura felt very stupid. She was ten years old. She should not be crying over stupid nightmares. "Just a  _kaijuu._ A real one."

Touya's frown did not ease. "Can you tell me about it?"

* * *

Touya wasted no time calling the Hiiragizawa mansion.

 _"Alright_ ,  _I'll come over."_

"You can't come over," Touya stated. " _Otou-san_ is here."

_"Don't worry about your father. Just keep her awake until I get there."_

"That's not ominous at all," Touya grumbled.

But Hiiragizawa did do something, because the weight of his magic settled across the entire street about half an hour later, and when the doorbell rang, Fujitaka did not rouse. He came in, carrying a large cardboard tube meant to store long posters.

"So it's real," Touya demanded. "You wouldn't come over here in the middle of the night if it were just a silly dream."

"Of course it's real," Hiiragizawa replied, making Sakura gulp. "It's a good thing she got away. Sakura is strong enough for that, but it's not something we should count on. That demon is powerful."

Sakura shuddered. "That was a demon?" Though what else could it be?

"I actually know that demon," Hiiragizawa replied. "Clow Reed was aware of his profile, back in the day. He is  _Ma-ou_ ; the Demon King. He was responsible for defiling the  _ounusa_ used to hurt Syaoran. He must have sniffed his way to Sakura because of the cards."

"…What are we going to do about this?" Touya asked.

"He's a great evil, and cannot be destroyed by a mortal man. Even Clow Reed would not have been able to defeat him if the two met. But there are ways to avoid such beings. You got away; you woke up, which means he lost you. He can probably find you through dreams, but you can also hide from him in dreams."

"But…"  _How am I supposed to do that?_

Hiiragizawa took the long tube and opened one of the ends. Out slid a blank scroll.

Syaoran use to have those in his apartment, Sakura recalled.

"You know how to make wards?" she blinked.

"Ah, so you know what this is," Hiiragizawa looked at her with approval. "Wards are tedious and hard to do, but Clow Reed had need of them back in the day, as did my family. Usually there are professionals, and in this life I purchase from them, but back in Clow's day, he was too high profile to risk depending on the generosity of strangers, so he had made them himself. Wards are more potent against evil spirits than evil men. As long as you hang it in the house somewhere,  _Ma-ou_ cannot find you in your dreams. If some idiot were to summon him to the physical realm, it would be a different story, but then we'd all be in trouble."

He had a calligraphic brush and a bar of ink, which he dissolved in some water. He wrote a long line of  _kanji_ —or rather, it was strictly Chinese, because the structure of the phrase was grammatically reversed from Japanese.  _Evil wake not in sleep_ , it seemed to say. He wrote far more slowly than Sakura thought he required, and every stroke was precise and careful.

He let the ink dry, and then painstakingly traced over them again with another layer of ink. The way he did it made both Kinomoto siblings afraid to breathe for fear of distracting him.

He wrote the same line three times with ink. Then he flicked his right hand, creating a spark of magic, and carefully pressed against the strokes on the scroll. The magic oozed, as slow as a snail, filling the lines of ink and replacing them. He did not speak at all. Sakura and Touya stayed silent, even though they could already tell why this might be considered tedious.

In total, it took Hiiragizawa about three hours to finish the scroll. He hung it on the wall without a nail, somehow, and then passed a hand over it. With a shimmer, the scroll became invisible.

"Alright," he sighed, "you can sleep. I'm sorry this took so long."

" _Iie,"_ Touya said, subdued, " _Arigatou gozaimasu."_

The sorcerer inclined his head at them. "This should keep you safe. Get some rest. There's nothing more to be done tonight."

"What about tomorrow?" Touya asked, eyes narrowed.

Hiiragizawa sighed. "I'll look into it."

* * *

" _Ma-ou_ ," Kaho murmured. "She's lucky she got away from him."

"I don't have the power to face him on my own," Eriol sighed, "and she's ten years old. Syaoran's ten years old. I can't ask James to help with this. I don't know who would be willing."

"Perhaps the Li clan."

"Perhaps, but they wouldn't move for Japan." Eriol folded his arms. "Would that I had been wiser."

He was referring to Ruby Moon. Rather than allow her to do something disastrous, Eriol had put her to sleep. She was in the workroom, on the table in her full form, like a cadaver for an embalming. Kaho avoided that room; the sight of the guardian so quiet and still made her feel uneasy. Spinel Sun had also been put to sleep. Likely, Eriol intended to take them back to England before disposing of them.

It was a little nauseating to think that they would be…undone, this way. Ruby was such a vibrant personality, and Spinel Sun could be quite amusing with his acerbic wit. They both had such endearing traits that made them seem…alive.

Real.

"Even with them," Eriol went on, "I wouldn't have been able to do it. I don't know how to withstand this; this is a demon, and not just any demon."

"At least we know which one," Kaho pointed out.

The Demon King, as Eriol had told Sakura, was actually not a great threat most of the time. Though he reigned over demons, which were always a maliciously powerful bunch, their affairs tended to stay separate from mortals. Japan on the whole was a gateway between worlds, and many demons and deities in turn tend to pass through, but the mortal realm was not very hospitable toward those that were not native; there were a lot of defenses in place, from the magic to the basic foundations of the land and sea and air. In terms of a direct encounter, however, few entities were as dangerous as the Demon King. No matter how powerful, humans only live to be a hundred or so.  _Ma-ou_ was at least five thousand years old, if not more; he was old even when Clow Reed had been around.  _Ma-ou_ saw more than humans, heard more than humans, and was a thousand times smarter and wiser than the greatest of sages, even if he used that wisdom for harm.

"If he's going to poke around human girls," Eriol looked at Kaho, "then I think we need to call in the brigade."

Kaho felt unhappy. "If that's what's necessary," she said anyway.

"Well, he tried to attack Sakura," he pointed out. "That's not subtle. And there are rules."

* * *

" _Oi,_ Kinomoto!"

Touya paused before he remembered that it was not a good idea to do so. The boy who had called to him, Hamadawa, was jogging up to catch up to him.

" _Hamadawa-san_ ," he turned, feeling resigned.

" _Daijoubu desu ka?_ " Hamadawa slowed to a halt. "Look, we're having a senior social meeting this Friday. We can really use your input about where and when."

Touya sighed. "I really don't have any ideas about any socials."

"You never know," said Hamadawa. "See you on Friday?"

Touya hesitated. He did not really feel like hanging out with them, though these days, without Yukito around, there was no one better to be with. One reason why all of the sudden, the other seniors in his class were starting to bother him with nonsense like this.

He waited too long.

"OK," Hamadawa waved, turning around. " _Ja ne!_ "

_Well, there goes that._

Honestly, Touya would rather spend time with his sister, something he never imagined he would ever think before that summer. He spent enough time with her as it was, and then more besides, plus Yukito liked her, so usually Touya called it a good day if he did not have to worry about her. Nowadays, though, she really needed him, and when Touya felt like it, he admitted he needed her too.

This whole magic business was just a complete and total mess.

Home was no refuge either. Fujitaka was starting to wise up to things, which was exactly the wrong moment; the university entrance exams were looming in a few sparse months, and Fujitaka was getting pushy about Touya's studying. Which—Touya  _was_ studying, just not happy about it. It was difficult to worry about things like college when a kid he knew had been kidnapped and tortured, his own sister had been kidnapped and…whatever that sorcerer did to her, and then whatever Hiiragizawa did to that sorcerer, and then he lost his best friend who turned out to be some kind of moon angel spirit thing. Touya prided himself in his ability to maintain his composure, but against all of this, he found he just could not care about a stupid entrance exam.

But Fujitaka wanted Touya to do well. And Touya appreciated that, he really did, but lately his own patience was wearing thin, and sometimes he wanted to snap at his father and demand why he thought he knew what was best for them when he was not even around half the time.

Granted, Fujitaka was good at connecting the dots. Touya had to give him that.

"You haven't been around your friend lately," his father said after Touya came home.

"Yukito's gone."

"…He moved?"

" _Hai._ Hong Kong."

"…When did that happen?"

"A while ago." Touya grabbed a drink from the fridge.

"Oh." Fujitaka blinked. "Isn't that where that Li boy was from?"

" _Hai._ " Touya was not sure how to explain this one, so he left it at that.

"This year has been ridiculous," his father remarked.

_You're telling me._

His father gave him a scrutinizing look. "When's he coming back?"

"I don't know."  _Never. Who knows._ "Whatever. This sort of thing happens all the time, doesn't it? Not like you still hang around with your high school friends."

"True," Fujitaka allowed, "but you and Yukito were together since you two were little. After your  _Oka-san_ left." He paused. "It's alright to feel upset, you know."

"Right." Touya turned away. "I have to do my homework." Because there was still homework. He longed for the day when he no longer had homework. Whenever that would be.

"Listen, after the exam," Fujitaka called to him, "I was thinking the three of us can go…somewhere."

Touya blinked. That one was unexpected. He turned around. "Like a vacation?"

Fujitaka shrugged. "You and Sakura have your studies, so I hate to interrupt them…but I think after this year we could all use a little change of scenery. Tomoeda's been kind of a mad town lately. It would be good to visit other places. If you want to visit Hong Kong to see Yukito, that would work too. Hong Kong's a fun city. And these days, it's not so difficult to travel to places, even if the tickets are absurd."

Touya kind of wanted to go to Hong Kong  _now_ , even if it meant facing Li Syaoran's lunatic clan. Maybe he could drag Yukito away for a while and let Li Syaoran handle his relatives on his own. The brat had done it for the last nine or ten years already.

"Sure," he looked at his father, because after the exam was better than never seeing Yukito at all. He was certain Sakura would want to go too. And his father was right; Touya was kind of sick of Tomoeda, lately. "That…Hong Kong sounds like a place worth visiting."

Fujitaka approached, setting a hand on Touya's shoulder. "I'm proud of you," he said seriously. "I know this past year has been trying on both of you, but especially you, as the eldest. Don't think I haven't noticed."

_You have no idea._

Touya found he could not muster up even a grunt, so he ducked his head and escaped.

He ran into Kaho one day after work; she was coming home from the Tsukimine shrine. Not quite ready to face his father yet, Touya offered to walk her home.

"You've been unhappy lately," she noted.

"Not much to be happy about," he pointed out. "School's wrapping up and everyone is going crazy. Entrance exam is in a couple of months and cram season has started."

"Have you been taking care of yourself?"

Touya shrugged. "No less than I usually do."

"I know that you must miss _Tsukishiro-san_."

"Everyone keeps saying that."

"Is it false?"

Touya resisted the urge to sigh. Even Kaho was being unbearable, he realized.

"I wanted him to leave. Those cards are endangering my sister." He paused. "Of course now that they're gone, she's still a target, somehow." He looked at Kaho. "Why is Yukito like that? Even Kero was just Kero."

"Eriol never explained that," Kaho admitted.

"You know Yukito use to feed me this awful-tasting brew," Touya made a face at the mere memory of it. "Cured my cold within a day or so, but it was the nastiest thing I've ever had. Turned out it was  _Yue._ I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. Which one was Yukito and which one was Yue?"

"They're the same."

"They're not the same. Yue's nothing like Yukito."

"We all have different sides to us," Kaho pointed out. "Yukito was a side that Yue was not comfortable showing, or accepting."

"It's like multiple personality disorder," Touya grumbled, ignoring her.

"Syaoran wouldn't keep him from you," Kaho said soothingly.

"Who said anything about keeping Yukito from me?" Touya bowed his head. "It's just…the last ten years. Feels like a big lie."

"It wasn't a lie," said Kaho. "And just because Yue is prioritizing Syaoran right now doesn't mean Yukito cares any less for you."

"Things were better before the Clow Cards came along." Touya did sigh this time. "And now that they're gone we're still cleaning up the mess."

"It'll die down," Kaho reassured. "In the meantime, though, you might want to consider learning some magic."

Touya was silent.

"If you don't wish to learn from Eriol, that is fine. I can teach you instead."

He inhaled. "I don't want to learn magic."

"Why not?"

"…Seems to do more harm than good."

Kaho considered this. "It can," she replied, "if you don't use it properly. But you should note that there are many who use it. You can't avoid it, and it's part of who you are. These things can always happen around you. There are bad people, and that doesn't change when you switch to the magical world. But there are good people too, and many good things to be done with magic." They were approaching Eriol's mansion, and Kaho slowed them to a stop. "You should give it some thought."

Touya looked around, squirming a little. "You're the only normal person I know with magic, and even then I'm not entirely sure. You're with Hiiragizawa, and he's clearly got issues and the memory of his several-hundred-year-old past self. Yukito's the false form of this thousand-year-old immortal moon spirit. That Li kid's family sounds almost as psychotic as the Kikutake, and then there's the Kikutake. I don't want my life to turn into some kind of fantasy adventure book. I just want a normal life."

Kaho smiled at him, which Touya found a little infuriating.

"What is a normal life?" she pointed out. "Did you think a normal life would be free of problems? Life will always have problems, Touya. Each of them is something you can do without. People fall ill, and you have to divide your attention between your affairs and theirs. Things happen at work that interrupt your flow. People do things that are inconsiderate, and you are forced to be inconsiderate in turn so that you don't drown in their wake. Things happen to us that are beyond our understanding, and just because you avoid knowing about them doesn't mean they won't happen to you. Disasters. earthquakes. Tsunamis. And just because you avoid one world does not mean your life would be any less troubled. You'll just be less equipped to deal with it all." She extended her arm and touched Touya's elbow. "There was a time when I was in your shoes," she said, making Touya feel a little patronized. "I felt, despite knowing better in my head, that there was a right answer to everything, that there was a way to live life without making mistakes. I was a good girl and listened to my parents and heeded the advice of adults and I thought that this would protect me, somehow. But some mistakes have to happen. Some trials have to be faced. And you have magic in your veins for a reason. You can use it how you will, but magic is meant to be used. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be so gifted."

She turned to head into the mansion.

"What was your mistake?" Touya asked.

She paused.

"Falling in love with a man who would never belong entirely to me," she stated. "Such is the lot of a great man." She gave him a wistful smile before turning back and heading past the gates.

Touya watched her until she disappeared inside the mansion and thought wryly that falling in love in general seemed to be a bad idea.

* * *

Sakura dreamed.

She saw the three-eyed demon, with his pale face and goat's eye, floating in front of Tokyo Tower where Yue had been during the Final Judgment. His black cloak flapped into the darkness. He raised a hand, and glowing orbs surged up from the households below, gathering into his palm. His eye wandered, and then fixed on her. His two smaller eyes opened.

Lightning flashed, and then all became black.

 


	24. Guardians and Wards

Syaoran, as Yukito outlined in his letter to the Kinomoto siblings, took the guardians on a tour of modern Hong Kong. It was a bit of a mixed affair, because Syaoran seemed to prefer staying at home and away from everyone, but he did not complain when Li Yelan suggested they head out. The sisters would have gone, but they all had school, and Syaoran was the only one who had the week off.

Hong Kong was a busy city, and during the day the streets were full of people. They earned some odd looks because Syaoran and the guardians conversed in Japanese, but for the most part people ignored them. Syaoran had a favorite  _dim sum_ place, where they bought takeout; Syaoran told Yukito that it was better to have more people for such things, and since the restaurant would only perceive the two of them, they would not be sure where all the food was going if Kero were to join.

They went to a history museum on that day; Syaoran had a feeling the guardians might be interested in seeing what happened in the area over the last few thousand years. He had gone there before himself, of course, but he read the captions along with the guardians and asked them about some of the exhibits. Kero stayed on his shoulder, looking at the old pots and mirrors and articles of clothing, and Yukito could sense a subtle sadness from Yue, as they looked at these old items that echoed an ancient world, long gone.

Syaoran stayed close to Yukito, hands in his pockets to hide from the cold. He was quiet for the most part. After the museum, they went to a garden where they sat on a bench and watched people walk their dogs.

"Is it nice being back?" Yukito asked.

Syaoran looked up at him, and his normally solemn countenance relaxed for a brief moment. " _Hai._ "

Yukito smiled back. "You seem quiet."

Syaoran looked away, looking serious again. "I guess I'm just tired. But I'm happy to be home." He looked at Yukito and Kero. "How are you two liking it so far?"

"We're fine," Kero was eyeing an ice cream truck.

Syaoran followed his gaze. "Isn't it a bit chilly for ice cream?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Ice cream is not just a summer snack."

Syaoran was standing up. "Which one do you want?"

"Chocolate," Kero sniffed. "With sprinkles."

" _Yukito-san_ , do you want some too?"

"I'm fine."

The guardians watched Syaoran go.

"Don't say it," Kero growled.

"I'm not saying anything," Yukito replied breezily. "That's between you and the other-me."

"I can feel you being smug," Kero glowered.

"It's good though, isn't it?" Yukito pointed out. "He's the new master of the Clow Cards now. He should be a good person."

Kero sighed.

"He's trying," Yukito pointed out, as Syaoran paid the truck some money.

"…" Kero's ears fell flat.

"You saw what his family is like," Yukito went on. "And he's really trying."

"He could try apologizing. Even once."

"I think we can afford to let that slide for now. Even adults have trouble with that, and the way his relatives are, apologies might actually be hazardous to his health. Not to mention, at this point I think we're all kind of even."

"Just because he got kidn—" Kero broke off when Syaoran joined them. Syaoran held out the ice cream to Kero, but looked at them warily; he could tell they had been talking about him.

"You didn't get one?" Yukito noted.

"I'm not made of fire," Syaoran replied. "It's too cold."

He thoughtfully got an ice cream in a bowl with a spoon, because a cone would have been too big for Kero to maneuver. Kero dug into it instantly and proceeded to ignore the other two while he was enjoying his dessert.

"Do you have any friends you want to catch up with?" Yukito asked. "I don't think I've ever heard you mention them."

"I don't have any."

"No school friends?"

"They're not friends."

Yukito looked at Syaoran. Many thoughts ran through his head with that one, but he chose not to voice them.

"I asked my mother about you going to school," Syaoran went on. "She said it's up to you."

Yukito was silent at this.

Going to school would be odd, without Touya. He should not be nervous but…he still was.

"Probably better if you do," Syaoran went on, "takes you out of the house for a while. At least gives you an excuse." He looked ahead. "You know how some of them are."

"Are you looking forward to school?" Yukito asked.

"Does it matter?"

Yukito hesitated, before leaning forward. "If you're not ready, you should tell your mother."

Syaoran looked at him, eyes dark.

"I have to finish what my father started," he stated without expression.

Yukito frowned.

Syaoran looked away. "School is nothing compared to that."

Kero was still wolfing down his ice cream. He was inching towards the bottom of the cup, and completely oblivious to the conversation.

"What would this entail?" Yukito asked, a curl of apprehension and even outright fear coiling in his gut.

"I don't know."

He looked composed. He sounded composed.

"Your mother—" Yukito started, before rewording, "you won't be expected to do this alone, will you?"

"My mother will help me. This I know."

"No one else."

"I honestly don't know. Maybe they will. The Clow Cards turn the tides around."

"What exactly did your father fail to finish?"

"We have to reclaim some important artifacts. Things my parents had traded, in exchange for his life. They're important, and the people who have them right now are formidable in their own right, otherwise my parents wouldn't have believed their lies." Syaoran looked at Yukito. "Seven years is a long time for mortals."

"Are we talking about other mortals?" Yukito asked in alarm.

"Some of them are."

Yukito was silent for a long time. Syaoran clearly thought the conversation was over, so he started when Yukito asked, "What would happen if you didn't pass the Final Judgment?"

Syaoran looked at him. "I don't know. I guess I would have come back and done it the hard way. Whatever it took. Might have had more time, though. They wouldn't expect me to succeed, the way I was."

"They still shouldn't expect you to do it  _now_."

Syaoran shrugged.

Yukito had thought Syaoran was oddly subdued. Now he knew why.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

The look Syaoran gave him could only be described as wry.

"What now?" Kero asked, having finished his ice cream. Syaoran turned to collect the now-empty cup.

"Where do you want to go next?" the boy asked, done with the conversation.

Yukito was not quite finished, but he allowed this to slide for now. "I don't know. We're following your lead."

"Do you want to go to the promenade?"

It was still afternoon, and the waterfront in Tsim Sha Tsui was not, according to Syaoran, at its best when the sun was up. He felt it looked better at night, when the sky was dark and the skyscrapers were lit with a myriad of spinning colors. It was not a place Kero was familiar with, and Yukito mused that perhaps, back when Clow Reed had been here, this river did not look like this, if it even existed. But they watched the ferries as they drifted past, the seagulls gliding in the sky, and around them were various other tourists, many Europeans and Americans, taking pictures with their cameras.

They walked the stretched, and then back. They stopped in the middle as the sky began to darken. The lights started coming on, and Syaoran stared ahead, watching them flicker. Eventually, the sky became black, and the waterfront lit up, hundreds of neon lights streaming.

Hong Kong was nothing like it had been, but the guardians already knew that.

"We should start heading back," said Syaoran. "Mother would expect us for dinner."

* * *

Early in the week, Syaoran actually felt quite good. The other clansmen did not harass him overly much, especially as he was constantly out, taking Yukito and Kero to see the sights. But as the weekend approached, and with it the following week, his stomach started curdling more and more. With school came responsibility, and Syaoran was really not ready. He could feel it in his bones.

He could not say it aloud. Syaoran had not been ready for Tomoeda either. He was use to having his fears ignored. And school was…school. As Syaoran had said, it was hardly the worst of the challenges to come.

His mother had not spoken about his father's debts, even though his uncles and aunts already did. Syaoran avoided the thought as much as he could. He still had nightmares, though they were muffled, and did not have him waking in cold sweat, but the idea of him going to these people who had outsmarted his parents sent a dark chill through his bones.

He was not sure why he had thought everything would be alright as soon as he came back to Hong Kong. He always knew that all of this was waiting for him. In some ways, it was better than he had hoped. Yukito was with him, and Yue seemed to like him, now. Even Kero did not seem to despise him as much as he use to. He had the Clow Cards…which was…something.

But his sisters had no understanding of what had happened to him, and his mother was always away. His uncles and aunts and cousins could not know the details—his mother had told him she managed to divert them from any media news reports coming out of Japan at the time. The added pressure of keeping things secret made him feel like he was being crushed.

At least the cards were behaving themselves. Sometimes, when he and the guardians were alone in the house, Syaoran would let them float out. They were quiet, though present, and did little other than hover where he wanted them to.

He was a ball of nerves by Sunday. He sought the tree that use to provide him refuge, but being up top brought no comfort. He considered bailing after he gets dropped off at the school. He thought about using the Time Card to repeat today so that he would not have to face tomorrow. He was not sure why going to school felt so intimidating; Japan had been fine, and that was a new country with a new language and not a single familiar face. He had grown up with the students in Hong Kong, and while they were not friends, at least they knew each other. And Syaoran had only been gone for a year.

He just felt different, though.

"You don't have to worry."

He was not sure how Yue sneaked up on him, but when he looked down, the guardian was already there, looking up at him with his pale eyes.

Syaoran turned to slide down. He did not need help, but Yue raised his hands anyway to catch Syaoran as he descended. He set Syaoran gently on the ground.

"You're going to be alright," he said.

Syaoran looked away, but Yue brought his hand to Syaoran's cheek and gently turned his face back so he was looking at Yue again.

"You don't have to be afraid."

Syaoran pushed Yue's hand off. He  _knew_ that. Well, sort of. He slid past the guardian without looking at him, because he felt close to losing his composure and he needed to be alone.

He went to his room. He had not stayed there since coming back; he had stayed with his mother for the past week. He sat down next to the dresser and pressed his fists to his mouth.  _What is wrong with me? It's just school._ He knew everyone, they were just kids. His cousins were going there too, and now he had the Clow Cards so they could not bully him. Not that they did it much before. Syaoran was good at martial arts, and they quickly learned that it was pointless if their target was better at dodging than they were at hitting.

 _I don't know if I'm good at it anymore._ He had not been practicing, for obvious reasons. The thought made his stomach twist, and he felt sick.

 _It's fine. School is for studying. Learning math. You're good at math. It would be nice not to have to study Japanese anymore. Or at least not in depth. And Mama hasn't talked about the artifacts yet. She probably planned on getting use to school first._ It did not mean anything. Just a small challenge, that was all. Not even the biggest one to come.

He had not gone to school in…months.

Fuutie knocked on his door, summoning him to lunch. Syaoran crawled into bed and pretended he was napping. He heard Kero squeal outside; apparently Fuutie made one of his favorite dishes. Which is fine. Kero liked eating, and that was fine. Maybe Kero could have Syaoran's portion. There was no way he was going back out there anytime soon.

_What's wrong with you? You were fine earlier in the week._

He sensed Yue's presence outside the door and wondered how to get rid of him.

 _"What's with him today?"_ he heard Fuutie mutter.  _"Is he throwing some kind of hissy fit because of tomorrow?"_

There was a long pause. 

 _"He is genuinely nervous."_ Yue's voice was very sardonic.

_"It's just school. He can't languish around forever. Are you going in?"_

Yue did not reply, but there was a knock on the door, and Syaoran covered his head with his blankets. There was no way he was fooling Yue, but maybe he could get his message across.

The door opened.

"The food's going to get cold," Fuutie tossed at Yue, "and Kerou's going to eat everything."

"He can have Syutou's share if it comes to that." Yue shut the door. His robes rustled as he turned.

"What do you want," Syaoran groaned under the covers.

"I can sense how you're feeling," said Yue, pulling the covers off. Syaoran caught an edge and held on in a tight grip.

"Syaoran."

"I'm fine. I'm not hungry. You should go join the others. The other you, anyway."

Yue let go.

"What are you worried about?"

"I'm not worried."

"…Please don't lie to me."

Syaoran buried his face in the pillow. "I don't know."

That was the rub, really. He was not sure why he was so nervous. So he did not go to school for the past few months; part of that was vacation time anyway, and he was not _that_ far behind. Well, he was, but…he could catch up. And waiting longer would only make things worse. And as for the other students, well, he did not like them anyway, and it was no big deal if they did not like him, and he had the Clow Cards so if any of them decide—

Yue rolled him back. He was checking to see if Syaoran was crying. Syaoran was feeling far too proud of the fact that his face was dry. And his eyes were dry. And he was not crying.

This sucked.

"The anticipation is the worst of it," Yue promised. "When you actually go through with it, it won't be so bad."

"Nmph."

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You're a child and you're still growing. Come on," Yue pulled. Syaoran allowed himself to be raised into a sitting position, but he did not cooperate further when the guardian tried to get him to stand. He was aware that he was being difficult, but he could not help it.

"What are you planning to do?" Yue asked, sounding puzzled. "Coop yourself up in here? What is that going to accomplish?"

"I'm not trying to accomplish anything. And I'm  _not_ throwing a hissy fit."

"No," Yue looked at him.

Syaoran flopped back down. "Can you just leave me alone?"

"So you can work yourself up into a panic attack?"

A spike of anger shot through him. "You know what? I was doing fine until you busted in here. I don't recall giving you permission to come in."

Yue's voice softened. "Don't try that. You always push people away when you need the opposite. I've learned. You need to learn that we are here for you."

Syaoran folded his arms and looked away.  _Right. That's helpful._ Still had to go to school tomorrow. Still had to go face his father's unfinished business, whenever that would be.

"Syaoran, even if you end up having a bad day tomorrow, we'll make it better."

_Right. How?_

"No matter what goes wrong, we'll fix it. You're not in this alone."

Syaoran shuddered. Nice as that sentiment was, he knew better. There was only so much friends and family could do. When it mattered, he was always on his own.

"Not like it matters," he muttered.

"…Come, little one. The food's getting cold."

"If I eat I'm going to throw up." He was fairly certain of it too. "Please…just go. I'm going to take a nap." He might even actually try.

Yue hesitated for a long time before actually stepping away. Syaoran listened to him leave without a word.

He curled up on his side and shut his eyes.

He did not think he would actually fall asleep, upset as he was, but sleep was a funny thing; the less one tried the easier it was to fall.

* * *

Yue and Yelan had a long argument.

"He'll be fine," Yelan dismissed, looking at her notes on her desk. "He needs to face his fears."

"He  _can_ face his fears," the guardian insisted. "But for once he needs his fears to be heard and acknowledged. Everyone in this family seems to either deliberately misunderstand him or dismiss his feelings as irrelevant. One more week. It's not going to cost much in the grand scheme of things, but it will mean the world to him."

"He'll learn to put things off. That is  _not_ a lesson I am willing to teach."

"You claim to know your own son," Yue replied coldly. "Do you really believe he is that kind of person?"

"Full-grown, perhaps not. But as a child—children are malleable. They are quick to learn the wrong things and grow astray. So I give him one week. One week turns into two. Two turns into three. How many weeks am I supposed to give him?"

"Maybe as many weeks as he needs?"

"He does not even need this week."

"He's not just a little bit nervous," the guardian loomed over her. "He cannot eat because he is so frightened. He is hiding in his room. I have seen children who are anxious about new experiences. This is not it. You can force him to deal with it and he will because your regard means everything to him, but I am telling you that this will hurt him in the long run. He already does not ask for anything he wants or needs because he is use to being ignored. Perhaps that is easier for you, oh Matriarch of the Li clan, so that you might pretend that just because he is silent, he does not want for things, but you should be doubly afraid, as your child is suffering and you do not even know how much."

Yelan's expression became cool. "You think I do not know my own son?"

"I think you are so used to looking out for external dangers that you do not notice your own attempts to protect him might kill him," said Yue. "You are a mother who suffocates her crying babe to prevent its discovery from enemy ears. You have been fortunate that he has yet to let you down, but he has his limits and sooner or later, ignoring them will have consequences neither of you will recover from."

"He will survive school," Yelan said dryly, "and I will survive making him  _go_ to school."

"One more week," Yue pressed. "Kerberus and I are at hand to deal with any difficulties that come with this, but he will get this week, or more, just as he would get them if he were injured or physically ill, because he  _is_ sick in his soul, and he did not return to you in Hong Kong so that he may be assigned missions and sent out to undertake tasks like an operative. In fact, just what does the clan expect this ten-year-old child to do, just because he owns the Clow Cards?"

Yelan eyed him. "One more week," she stated, and then pulled a drawer open to retrieve a folder. "And if you're so eager to help my son," she slammed the folder on the desk, "you can take care of this yourself."

Syaoran's sisters were a little dumbfounded when Yelan announced the extended week that evening.

"Are you sure?" Feimei blinked. "Hasn't he missed enough as it is?"

Syaoran's sheer relief, however, seemed to have more of an effect on Yelan than Yue's adamant persuasion. Fitting, Yue thought, and his previous irritation dissipated at the proof that for all that Yelan might be oblivious to certain things, she did care for her son. Kerberus gave Yue a look at this, however, and later on the two guardians convened in the study to discuss what was happening.

"You made her keep him home," Kerberus accused.

"You weren't paying attention. He's afraid. And I don't want him to be ignored again."

"He won't thank you later when he's making up for all the time he lost."

"You and I both know school is not everything. He needs more time. He needs to be listened to, to be cared about. He doesn't need to rush into school just to be on time with other children. In addition, I think you should go with him to class for a while, the way you did with Sakura."

"Uh…"

"Can't be much different."

"No, I just…thought I was going anyway. Whatever." Kerberus shook his head. "What's this folder?"

"Li senior's unfinished business."

Syaoran's parents had gone to many different entities, but the files in the folder seemed to include only the ones that Syaoran's late father had not managed to wrap up. There were twenty three names, and only eight of them appeared to be human. Five were clan names.

They expected Syaoran to just go to these clans. These beings. After being kidnapped and tortured for days by a clan of sorcerers, nearly killed.

Yue and Kerberus exchanged a look. Neither guardian said anything, but they had come to an agreement.

That night, since the next day Syaoran did not have to wake up early, the guardians took Syaoran out flying again. The boy was happy; this really did mean a lot to him. He turned in Yue's arms to wrap his own around the guardian's neck. Yue squeezed tightly back. They went to the International Commerce Center again, which was actually one of the buildings they could see when they visited Tsim Sha Tsui. Syaoran sat over the ledge, legs dangling and uttering a sigh that betrayed just how stressed he had been about this.

Yue looked at Kerberus, who was in his true form. Kerberus was ignoring Yue. The sun guardian was being stubborn again, just as he had been back in Tomoeda. On a whim, Yue lifted the boy, earning him a puzzled look from Syaoran, before scooting closer to his fellow guardian flanking Syaoran's other side. Kerberus raised his head to attention, which suited Yue's purposes exactly, as this allowed him to place the boy so that when Kerberus lowered his head, it was right on the boy's lap.

Syaoran grabbed Kerberus by the scruff of the neck for balance. The sun guardian flicked his ears at Yue in discontent. Yue grabbed one of those ears, something he had not done for thousands of years.

"You need to grow up," he said.

"Oh  _please—_ "

"You need to try, anyhow."

"I am trying!"

"What's going on?" Syaoran asked, still holding on to Kerberus.

The sun guardian groaned, and then dropped his head, forgetting it was right over Syaoran's lap. He glared up at Yue when he realized, giving him a dirty look, but Yue pressed on his head, holding him down to get the message across. After a moment, he let go and pushed up on the ledge to rise into a stand, leaving Kerberus to keep Syaoran from falling.

"Manipulative," Kerberus muttered, but complied anyway because Yue left him no choice.

Syaoran was confused, but settled an arm over the big guardian. Kerberus shut his eyes.

"What was that about?" the boy asked.

"Yue is just being stupid."

Yue ignored this. "Your mother gave me the list of names," he told Syaoran, deciding they should talk about important matters while the boy was in a good mood. "Kerberus and I will handle them. You don't have to worry."

Syaoran placed both hands over Kerberus' big head, one palm over the red jewel. "It—you don't have to do this. It's my task."

"Your task is ours," Yue reminded him, "and this should not fall to you, especially not now. And we know you don't want to do it."

"It's not about what I want, though."

"It should be, and we can do it," said Yue. "Your only task is to supply us with magic, of which you have ample."

Syaoran stared up at Yue in dismay.

The moon guardian dropped back down so the child would not have to crane his neck. "This isn't supposed to worry you more."

"I'm sorry."

Kerberus lifted his head. This time, Yue let him.

"What's the matter?" the sun guardian demanded.

Syaoran folded his hands over his now-empty lap. "I didn't mean to drag you into this."

Kerberus snorted. "You didn't think we'd be dragged into this when you went to Tomoeda to capture the Clow Cards?"

It was the wrong thing to say, and the boy's eyes welled up in tears.

"No—it's—I didn't think that far. It was never my idea—" his breath hitched, and Yue settled a hand on his back to steady him. Syaoran hunched over miserably as his eyes streamed. "I didn't think that far. Mama said I had to go, said the Clow Cards were my—she said I had to get them. I mean, you know what my family is like…but they were a lot worse before. They all thought I was bad luck—and they're probably right, but I didn't bring anything to the clan, and my magic was—the way it was, and no one saw any potential. I never understood how she convinced others not to go and only sent me, and I didn't know Sakura was…supposed to…I didn't know. And I didn't think the two of you would have chosen her already. I didn't—"

"Calm down," Yue said slowly. "It's alright."

"I didn't care about your feelings at the time," Syaoran admitted wretchedly. "I didn't even think you two  _had_ feelings. You were magical beings that Clow created, it wasn't like you were  _alive_ , I mean no one told me that Kerberus liked sweets and videogames and Yue had a false form that also liked eating. I just wanted to collect the cards so I could go home, and maybe they wouldn't want me dead for a change."

"Were you really worried that your relatives might kill you?" Kerberus exclaimed in disbelief.

"I killed my  _father._ They—didn't think I belonged here. They thought I was cursed. Things kept going wrong—I don't even know how, or how to prevent them, but Mama said that if I got the Clow Cards they might be willing to let some things slide. And they—you didn't see them from before. And I didn't want to go to Tomoeda—I _hated_ studying Japanese. I didn't like anything about Japan. Just—nothing was what I expected when I got there." Syaoran covered his face.

"You didn't expect Sakura," Yue intoned, "just as we didn't expect you."

"I guess Mama knew she was there, but I didn't know," Syaoran mumbled. "And I didn't know you had already picked her. I didn't know you two had already settled down there."

"You know," Kerberus said loudly, "your family is seriously messed up. Why would you even want to come back?"

Syaoran wiped at his face. "I didn't want to come back for  _them_ ,  _baka,"_ he exclaimed defensively, "I wanted Mama, and my sisters. And I would have come back without bringing the two of you along, but everyone here expects me to be the Card Master, and they'd expect the two of you and I wouldn't have been able to come back." He sniffled. "I'm sorry. I know I'm selfish. You won't have to stay if you don't want to—just for now. I'll figure out something—"

"Hush," Yue stopped him. "You are not being selfish. We are not here against our will. Did you truly believe we would have let you come back to all of this on your own?"

"You weren't our first choice," Kerberus supplied, "but you're our final one. That's just as valid. Stop punishing yourself over things that are not your fault and focus on things that are. Like the lack of aforementioned video games.

"You don't have to always submit to other people's plans," Yue told the boy. "You're allowed to make your own, and they can be just as good. You brought Kerberus and me back to Bao'an. You gave Hiiragizawa Eriol someone else to love. You gave Kerberus and me a future of our own making. None of these are regrets. None of these are  _mistakes._ And you are not a mistake. A surprise, but not a mistake."

Kerberus did not say anything further, but he extended a paw behind the boy so he was hugging Syaoran against his great head.

"You wouldn't have had to deal with all of this if I hadn't come along," Syaoran said in low tones, and big globs of tears flowed down his cheeks.

Yue reached over to pull Syaoran's head to his. He wished that Syaoran would just know what he thought, the way Clow Reed often did—he was not actually that good at talking about his own feelings. Hardly wanted to acknowledge them, most of the time, even to himself.

"You'd have to deal with all of this on your own," Kerberus exclaimed, sounding horrified. "That's even worse."

"I'm use to it."

"That doesn't make it right."

"We'll handle what your father left behind," Yue said, giving up on sharing his thoughts to get back to the matter at hand. "As I said, you are to supply us with magic—any magic, for whatever we face, but you will manage your own affairs: school, homework, exams, and let us handle ours. No arguments. And," he leaned back to look at Syaoran in the eye, "if you feel threatened by any of your relatives, no matter how silly you think you're being, you have to summon us. Either one of us will do. You can summon through this," he tapped the key that was hidden under Syaoran's shirt. "It makes it easier and faster."

"Right," Kerberus lifted his head. "Even if it's nothing, at least get me. You know my false form's really convenient for things like that."

"I can just summon you?" Syaoran blinked, momentarily distracted by this revelation.

"The way you can summon the Clow Cards," Yue told him.

"But what if you two are in the middle of something?"

"We're your guardians,  _baka_ ," Kerberus bumped his head into Syaoran's stomach. "Doesn't matter what else we're doing."

Syaoran looked dubious. Yue grabbed him by the face.

"Promise us," he ordered.

Odd, to be demanding things of his master, but Syaoran looked at him, wide-eyed, and nodded. He was clearly not certain about what he was agreeing to, but it was enough for one night. Yue wanted to head back; he could tell Kerberus did too.

They had a lot to think about.

"It's probably time to head home," Syaoran said regretfully, after a moment of silence. His face had dried.

Yue made Kerberus carry Syaoran this time. He could tell the guardian wanted to, and if Yue carried him, he was not sure he would have been able to let the boy go once they were home.


	25. Awakening the Star Maiden

_"You are a busy man these days, H,"_ said Watson.  _"I hear that there's been quite a bit of activity in Tomoeda."_

"It's been an interesting few months," Eriol allowed. "And how are you doing, my dear?"

 _"Nowhere as exciting as you, my dear,"_ Watson returned.  _"Been rather quiet lately in these parts. Any chance you'll be coming back soon?"_

"That remains to be seen."

_"Is there something I can do for you, H? You sound like you're on business."_

"I was hoping you would know where I can find the Oracle."

 _"Oh?"_ Watson sounded very intrigued.  _"Is there trouble in Tomoeda after all?"_

"No more than anywhere else."

 _"Hm,"_ said Watson.  _"That is somewhat hard to come by. It would require some labour on my part to find you the right information."_

Eriol smiled thinly, though Watson could not see. "I'll be certain to compensate you, my friend. How soon can you get me the information?"

_"Not so fast. Word travels, as you know. What can I expect once I give this to you?"_

"Why, I have no idea," said Eriol with a laugh. "Can't imagine anything particularly exciting. You are free to make any sort of claim you wish."

Watson clearly did not know what to do with this. After a hesitation, he reluctantly replied,  _"Very well."_

"Slimy bastard," Eriol muttered after he hung up.

Kaho was cooking. Eriol went to the kitchen and sat at the table, watching her slice vegetables.

"What did he say?" she asked without turning around.

"He'll do it. Probably after a little digging." Eriol sighed. "Sakura has been depressed lately about how convoluted the magical world is and I'm starting to feel it too. I can't believe I have to rely on the likes of Watson."

"You have James and his wife."

"They've been helpful, but I can't imagine going to anyone else." He rubbed his mouth. "The Demon King. Of all the spirits. Why couldn't it be an _oni_? I can handle an _oni_ without having to go to  _Watson_."

"There are friends back in England, I'm sure."

"I do have some," Eriol admitted, "but they'd still be out of their depth."  _Just like I am._ "The sorcerers of the east developed their form of magic for a reason. Western sorcerers have no handle on the entities that come through these doorways. And I have long been out of touch with the folks here. Kikutake. Good God. If the Li clan had been worth anything close to what they use to be, I would have liked to have gone to them. They would have been a great resource."

It was pointless to dwell on would-have-been's, though.

"You have me," Kaho said with a smile in her voice. "Tell you what. I'm going to take a trip tomorrow."

"Oh? Where to?"

"Kyoto," Kaho replied. "You need a seer, and I am a _miko_ , plus I have some powers of my own. I know how to talk to people there."

Eriol blinked. "There's an idea."

"We'll get through this," Kaho promised.

Kyoto was about a three-and-a-half hour train ride from Tomoeda. Kaho departed early in the morning. Eriol stayed behind, because he was not comfortable leaving Tomoeda completely unsupervised. The day passed uneventfully; Sakura remained protected by the wards, and she came to the mansion later in the day to study magic—to better success, as she was naturally talented, but she was still largely disheartened and unwilling to excel, and so her magic cooperated only so far.

Kaho returned late that night. Eriol had meant to pick her up, and was surprised when she announced her arrival.

"You could have called," he remonstrated.

"I meant to," she admitted apologetically, "but there were delays, and I fell asleep on the train. Next thing I knew, I had arrived at the station. I didn't think it made sense to make you go all the way out there. I'm fine."

She was exhausted. Eriol brewed her some chamomile tea while she showered and changed into nightclothes. She gave him an amused look; she liked making fun of how British he sometimes was.

"What did you learn?"

"Well, the priestesses were very interested in the Star Maiden," Kaho informed him. "Turns out, our little cherry blossom had appealed to Clow Reed for a reason. She has a very unique gift, because stars are celestial beings. They have a very subtle impact on the elements, but their talents are with creation and transformation. Not to mention, stars are a beacon to good spirits. That is why Sakura seemed so full of light, and so full of luck. If the Clow Cards had remained with her, there would not be nearly as much trouble as Syaoran generated, because her very presence wards away misfortune. Alas, that is not to be."

"I wouldn't say she is so lucky," Eriol disagreed. "One generally wants to avoid the attentions of the Demon King."

"Well she got away," Kaho pointed out. "But in terms of the Demon King and drawing his attention away, the _miko_ there pointed me to someone. They suggested I take Sakura with me to Kyoto this weekend."

"Oh?" Eriol raised his eyebrow. "Who is this person then?"

Kaho sighed. "She is a  _geiko_ , named Kagayakashi, or Resplendent. Typical flamboyant name, and said to look the part. According to the priestesses there, however, she is a  _kitsune_."

Eriol blanched. "Oh  _no_."

"I know it sounds—"

"Seriously? A fox spirit? And a  _geiko_ _?_ You're joking."

"It's not ideal," Kaho agreed, "but if we want any advantage over the Demon King, we'd need a demon either way. And a fox  _geiko_ isn't the worst party to negotiate with."

"I've had dealings with fox spirits." Or rather, Clow had. "Clever things, wily, quick to play on fancies. But they have their own agendas and don't abide by morals; they're fast and agile and eager to take advantage before scuttling away. Little animals with big ambitions. Those are the worst. We can't push Sakura into  _that_. The  _kitsune_ would eat her up."

"I honestly don't think this one can," said Kaho, "because at their heart, as you say, fox spirits, like any other, aspire to beauty and light. Their nature limits their vision, and they are use to taking advantage because that is how they are treated in turn. But someone like Sakura is a beacon, one which those like fox spirits would cradle and cherish—not snuff out. And this Kagayakashi had been around for a few years. There has yet to be any reports of clients going missing, or falling ill. Fox spirits are not evil. They are just very unreliable."

"That almost makes it worse," Eriol grumbled. "I can work with evil. Chaos—that is just bad news. I need to think about this."

He almost considered going himself, but remembering what Clow had gone through, that would not be a good idea.

Foxes  _really_ liked men. And Eriol  _really_ did not like the  _kitsune_. Which was a bad combination, because the only thing worse than falling prey to their charms was to make them feel scorned, as those things can rain hell's wrath down the way any woman can, except with a touch of cunning long-lived fox; they could live for centuries and one never knew when a grudge would erupt (though guaranteed to be the worst possible moment).

He was no happier about the idea after sleeping on it. Kaho was no happier about the idea after sleeping on it. The weekend was a couple of days away.

"She is a  _geiko_ _,_ " said Kaho. "They abide by a strict code of ethics. She could have been anything else. The Prime Minister's mistress. The wife of a Korean business giant."

"She's a  _fox_."

"Even foxes can be interested in different things. She clearly values art more than power."

"For now, anyway." The weak ones were sometimes more troublesome than the strong ones. They get twice as clever and thrice as vicious, where their more powerful cousins would be more complacent.

"I'll be with her," Kaho reminded him, "and Sakura is smarter than we give her credit for.  _Kitsune_ have little advantage over children."

This…was true.

"She can still outsmart you," he told her.

She turned her lip unhappily. "I know. But do we really have a better option? Watson may or may not pull through, and the Oracle isn't going to be the answer for everything. The priestesses haven't tried to oust her."

"Do they normally get involved with the  _geiko_ _?_ "

"If there's a malevolent spirit, they would."

Eriol remained ambivalent. He wished Sakura had Yue and Cerberus around, as the two guardians would have been able to withstand the  _kitsune's_ charms. Even Ruby Moon would do, though he did not trust that she would stay true to her mission. As it was, Yue and Cerberus were preoccupied in Hong Kong, and from the letters; Syaoran's brief and somewhat insubstantial, and Yukito's lengthier, more troubling accounts, the guardians would not agree to abandon their young charge, and Syaoran was not ready to leave Hong Kong quite yet.

In the end, he asked her.

"A  _kitsune?"_ Sakura blinked. "As a  _geiko?_ "

"You don't have to go if you don't feel comfortable," Eriol pressed, not sure if he hoped she would refuse. "It was just a suggestion made by the priestesses in Kyoto."

"Are  _kitsune_ evil?"

That was a tough question.  _Kitsune_ were not evil, no more than humans were. Some were worse than others. Some were even helpful. But all had their own motives, and they cared little for mortals. They did not observe boundaries of propriety except when it fits their purposes, and their purposes could range from a simple desire for comfort, vengeance for a past insult, or ambitions towards immortality.

"They're like people," Eriol said at last. "Some are. I don't know if this one is. But they are very dangerous, more so than most people, because they understand us while we don't understand them."

That was not entirely true; foxes did not understand people on a fundamental level. But they did have ways of predicting behavior and provoking desired reactions.

"Maybe this one is good, then," said Sakura. "And then we can be friends."

Eriol was floored by this. Trust Sakura to have the kind of childish optimism that could melt the blackest of hearts. If anyone could befriend a  _kitsune_ , it would be her.

"I guess you're going to Kyoto this weekend," he told Kaho.

* * *

Bringing Touya along, Mizuki warned, would be disastrous, because Touya was handsome and male and all fox spirits liked handsome specimens. Touya would most likely scoff off at the fox, because that was usually what he did when women expressed interest or admiration, unless it was Mizuki. And that was worse, Mizuki said, because foxes get jealous as easily as anyone did, and they had no scruples about lashing out with it. So Touya had to stay in Tomoeda, which meant Touya had to  _not_ know about Kyoto, or at least the specifics of why they were even going.

Sakura recruited Tomoyo, who really wanted to see the  _geiko_ , because Kyoto was the birthplace of  _geisha_ culture and an epitome of all things beautiful in Japan.

"It's probably dangerous," Sakura warned.

"I'm good at staying out of trouble," Tomoyo reminded her.

And filming the excitement while at it, Sakura thought ruefully.

Getting to Kagayakashi was the trickiest part. They worked, and were very busy. They were often booked in advanced, particularly the popular ones, and Kagayakashi, true to her nature, was a favorite. They had the option of seeing her very early in the morning or very late at night. Mizuki suggested possibly when she was dressing, as this could take quite some time. "Don't they need to eat?" Sakura asked, before realizing that this might not pertain to fox spirits.

Mizuki wanted to meet with Kagayakashi on an informal basis, because they were not interested in the  _geisha_ aspect of things, or in being entertained. This was a little difficult to manage, because Kagayakashi was the  _geiko's_ professional name, and they did not know her real name. Somewhat unconvincing, this particular combination. So they went first to the temple.

It was a long train ride there, despite it being high-speed and smooth as ice. Tomoyo wanted to make a day of it; neither of them had actually been to Kyoto before. "If she turns out to be a lousy person," the dark-haired child declared, "then we should make it up by making the rest of the day  _amazing_. Oh! We can have you dressed up as a  _geisha_ , and then take photos! They can do your hair and makeup and the  _kimono_ , and we can go to a teahouse!" She remained over the moon with the idea throughout the whole train ride, and tried to convince Mizuki to join in. She even offered to pay for the older woman. Mizuki just chuckled and declared that she was quite willing to allow Sakura to be the  _geisha_ of the trio.

Sakura thought Mizuki would make a beautiful  _geisha._

Kyoto was beautiful. Entering the city felt like stepping back in time. The architecture, the ambience of the air, whispered of a world long ago. Here lied the heart of Japan, its love of beauty and grace, the mysterious wisdom of the spiritual world, only lightly touched by the essence of modern times, with its fast-growing technology and globalizing economy. Many tourists flocked the place, with their sturdy, large cameras, snapping photos. Some _geisha_ stood on the streets; they were tourists who were dressed up, Mizuki told her, because the real  _geiko_ did not have time to pause for tourist photos. Not without payment, anyhow.

The temple was called the SikaTemple, named for the sika deer on its premises. The grounds were large, set in broad territories with serene gardens and trees. Wide pagodas loomed tall, and statues of deities stood vigil within and without. There were many tourists here too, but Mizuki had been here before. To Sakura's disappointment, there were no deer that were immediately apparent as they made their way around to the back.

There were  _miko_ hanging lanterns, or dusting them, it looked like. They wore the same kind of red skirts and white tops that the _miko_ at the Tsukimine shrine would wear. When they turned around, they recognized Mizuki instantly.

" _Mizuki-san!"_ One of them exclaimed, and then looked right at Sakura. "Oh!"

" _Ohayo gozaimasu,_ " Mizuki called back in a warm tone. "This is Kinomoto Sakura, and Daidouji Tomoyo."

"Welcome! Welcome!" the shamanesses came over to peer down at Sakura. Sakura blushed under all the attention. "You must be the little Star Maiden! Oh how precious!"

"She's so  _kawaii!"_

"I can't believe it's really her!"

"How old are you, child? Ten?"

 _Kami-sama_ , Sakura was going to melt.

They did not linger long at the temple. Mizuki was quick to relate their business, and the  _miko_ were equally quick to deliver. Not all of them had magic, though even the ones that did not seemed to be in the know, strangely enough.

"We don't know her real name," said the priestesses, "but we can contact the  _okiya_ and tell them it's a different kind of business. We don't usually interact with them like this, but they'd be willing to at least give us an approximate time. She might be booked all day today."

But as it happened, it was Kagayakashi's day off. And her real name, or at least the name she called herself, was Kikuchi Rena. The  _okiya_ and the Sikatemple must have had good relations, because the proprietress gave the _miko_  the phone number to contact Kikuchi without asking too many questions. Mizuki seemed to think this was a little unusual and unexpected, but she did not comment aloud on this.

Kikuchi seemed reluctant to come to the temple, though once Mizuki explained that there was a child in question, the  _geiko_ was willing to meet in a public place. Mizuki agreed to a noodle shop, even offering to pay for lunch. They agreed on a time, and then Mizuki had to figure out where this noodle shop was.

They arrived with a minute to spare.

Kikuchi was already there.

Sakura probably should have known better, but she was startled to realize that Kikuchi looked normal. She had in her head the figure of a  _geisha_ with the white makeup and cherry blossoms in the hair, but Kikuchi was wearing a jacket and jeans, a pair of leather boots, and large Audrey Hepburn sunglasses. She looked pretty, with large, doe-like eyes, small nose and mouth, and a delicate jaw, but certainly not someone Sakura would have imagined was a living work of art. She also looked totally human, and there was nothing fox-like about her.

Not immediately, anyway.

"You are Mizuki Kaho?" she confirmed. "Well met. And these are your children?"

"Of a sort," Mizuki laughed. "This is Daidouji Tomoyo, and Kinomoto Sakura."

" _Konnichiwa_ ," Sakura and Tomoyo bowed a little.

"How precious," she smiled. "Come, have a seat. This place is a favorite among the locals, I'm sure you'll see why."

They ordered.

"I admit," Kikuchi began, after the waiter took their order, "I was surprised when the temple contacted me. Certainly not at this time. There are no festivals to prepare for. And requesting me in person, and not for entertainment…that is new. The Sika and my o _kiya_ have been on good terms, but we tend to walk different paths. All to the same goal, as it were." She looked at Sakura, and something about her eyes, the shadows on her face, shifted and sharpened. She suddenly looked ethereally beautiful, but in a disturbing, uncanny way. "I wasn't expecting a little Star Child to show up."

Sakura looked back, managing not to gulp. "Is that…that's a good thing, right?"

Kikuchi tilted her nose down at her, but then smiled, and the effect faded. "I have nothing against Stars, so long as they have nothing against me. I've done my best to stay out of trouble, which is difficult, being what I am. I suspect you already know."

"The priestesses told us," said Mizuki. "They seem to regard you very well."

Kikuchi's shoulders loosened; Sakura had not realized they were tense. "Ah. You said you needed help."

"The story is long," said Mizuki. "I don't know if you are aware of a sorcerer named Clow Reed."

"Everyone is aware of that man," Kikuchi said placidly. "The most powerful sorcerer to ever live. What about him? Is this one of his descendants?"

"So to speak," said Mizuki. "However, her destiny has changed. That is not what's important. The problem is that in the process of it changing, something woke, or we captured its attention."

"What is it?" Kikuchi asked.

" _Ma-ou_."

Kikuchi did not react for a moment, but her face remained frozen even as she started leaning back.

"That is no mere foe," she said in low tones. "How did you provoke the Demon King?"

"He provoked us," said Mizuki. "One of the children, another descendant of Clow, inherited a strong power, however his nature made the initial transfer a rough process. It attracted some sorcerers, including a dangerous group: the Kikutake clan."

Kikuchi grimaced, though she did not interrupt.

"I don't know if you know the rumors of them defiling the  _harae_. Their leader possessed a corrupted  _ounusa_ and tortured that child for days, nearly killing him. It turned out, the  _ounusa_ had been corrupted by  _Ma-ou_ , somehow. For whatever reason, the clan was serving him."

"That child was you?" Kikuchi looked at Daidouji in alarm.

"No. He's a boy. He is a member of the Li clan. He is currently out of the country."

"The Li clan," Kikuchi looked back at Mizuki. "They are not so pure either."

"So I hear, but the boy is innocent."

"Of course," Kikuchi said readily. "Go on."

"Afterwards, there was a long recovery process, but eventually we were able to fully transfer the power to the boy so that he inherited it properly. During that transfer,  _Ma-ou_ became aware of his presence, and tried to find him. By the time he reached out, however, the boy had left, and he found  _Kinomoto-san_ , who managed to escape him. We have erected wards, but are concerned as he had identified her as a Star Maiden; he might try again."

Kikuchi frowned. The waiter came back, bearing their noodle soups. She spoke over the bowls being placed in front of each of them. "Why would  _Ma-ou_ care about a boy? Even if his clan tortured him and nearly killed him, that is hardly grounds to leave his realm."

"That, I don't know," said Mizuki, and if Sakura had not been in the know, she would not have heard the lie in her voice, "but I do know that he is interested in  _Kinomoto-san_. If there is anything you can do—"

"He wouldn't happen to be the Undestined child, that boy of yours," Kikuchi interrupted.

Mizuki was silent.

"If you don't trust me, I don't see why you're coming to me for help." Kikuchi folded her arms.

"Pardon me," said Mizuki. "I did not wish to divert the conversation to a child who is not here any longer. I did not think his identity was relevant. We are not even certain ourselves."

"What do you mean?"

"The usual question. What exactly he is. Where he came from. How he came to be without being destined. All of this, though, draws us away from the matter at hand."

"He is away. Where did he go?"

"Home, to his family."

"The Li clan?"

" _Hai._ "

"…I would not have let him go," Kikuchi remonstrated. "That clan is dangerous, and they cast more and more shadows as time goes on."

"His mother loves him, and he dearly needed her, if only for his own healing," Mizuki said quietly. "We did not send him away alone. He has two of Clow's most prized creations with him."

"The Clow guardians."

" _Hai_."

"That's better, then," said the  _kitsune_. She picked up her chopsticks and dipped it into the soup, though she did not begin eating. Mizuki did the same. "I suppose that does make him less relevant, though I would not keep him with the Li clan for long." She looked at Sakura. "As for the Demon King, and his interest in you: that is difficult. He is a king of demons. He may not be the most powerful, or the only one, but a king is still a king, and a demon is still a demon. There are precious few ways to fend against one such as he. The only good way is to secure the protection of a deity. My powers are substantial, but I dare not call myself a god."

"But you must have known some."

"'Known' is one way to say it," said the fox spirit. "The gods do not like us,  _youkai_. They view us as bastardized imitations of better forms. No matter what we do, they find us ugly, abhorrent. They love you more, you humans with your flesh and blood and  _passions_ ," she said this with bitterness. "They use us as they use their mounts. You would have better luck simply praying."

"I don't understand…why don't they like you?" Sakura asked.

"We  _obake_ are shape-shifters, and belong nowhere." Kikuchi looked at her again. "Too powerful for the mortal world, and yet not good enough for the Heavens. We carve a  _niche_ best as we can, but trouble finds us wherever we go. We are the ultimate outcasts, and that is the way it is. Whenever something does not belong, it causes problems where it is. Such is the case with all who come from the _makai._ "

_The spirit world._

"But surely the Demon King has his weaknesses," said Mizuki.

"All beings do, but that does not mean we are all equipped to challenge them."

"So there is nothing you can do to help her."

Kikuchi looked at Mizuki, and then back at Sakura.

"I can protect you for a while," she said after a long pause, "but I will not be able to protect you indefinitely. Not on my own. Even a deity will only protect you for so long. You need to be able to protect yourself." She hesitated. "I can try…introducing you to the spirit world, but there is a lot there, many that would prey on an innocent child. You'd need to be much stronger than you are now, if you are to traverse that realm."

Sakura bowed her head. She was not sure she wanted to traverse a world of spirits. That sounded intimidating on many levels.

"You have room to grow, though," Kikuchi said softly. "At least, I would assume so."

"She is largely untrained; we are still teaching her," said Mizuki, "but it's been a difficult few months."

"The boy."

" _Hai_."

Kikuchi looked at Sakura. "I see. Then there is something I can do about this. How long are you in Kyoto?"

"We are here for the day."

"This might take more than a day."

"Are you available for more than a day?"

Kikuchi smiled a little. "I am established, and this is no light matter. I will handle the consequences; it is not insurmountable for someone like me. I do not wish any harm to befall on our little Star Maiden. Certainly not by the hand of  _Ma-ou_. If necessary, you two may stay at my place for tonight. I assume you have school on the weekdays."

Sakura and Tomoyo glanced at each other.

"You're a descendant of Clow," Kikuchi smiled thinly. "If it comes to it, I will come with you to…wherever you're from."

"What do you plan to do?" Mizuki asked.

"I know some deities," Kikuchi sounded a little coy, "and I learned a few things. Well enough to teach. And I think they'll do very nicely for a little Star Child."

* * *

Kikuchi lived in a modest apartment about five minutes away from the  _okiya_. It was a little cozy for four people, though for temporary purposes, it was adequate. The living room was broad, and the whole home was done in a very traditional and minimalist style; there was a small table, low on the ground, and  _tatami_ arranged according to the etiquette of seating. Kikuchi did have a television and a computer, which Sakura thought was rather endearing; a  _youkai_ , watching television and browsing on the internet.

"Star magic," said Kikuchi, "is a rare form of magic. Most mortals have either the sun and moon. Some, like Clow Reed, had a mix of both. But stars are another thing entirely. They have less to do with the elements, and more to do with beginnings and endings. Among celestials, a key talent is transformation."

And then, almost in a blink of an eye, the woman disappeared. In her place trotted a fox, which jumped onto the chair and table. It was not tawny red like most foxes, but white and gray, with black-tipped ears and tail, as if dipped in ink. It had beautiful cyan-blue eyes that seemed to glow.

Sakura gaped. " _Waaaa…_ "

The fox jumped off, landing as Kikuchi, except instead of wearing the jeans and and jacket, she was wearing a trailing silver robe, and her hair was black with white streaks, trailing free below her waist. Her eyes remained that cyan-blue.

"Humans," she told Sakura, "can transform into many shapes, but it is difficult for them. _Youkai_ can transform more easily, but we do not have as many forms. Deities have the best of both. It is a good way to fend against enemies; it thwarts them, startles them, and opens up new paths and new options. Among mortal sorcerers, it is a rare art to know. Even Clow Reed, the most powerful sorcerer of all time, was confined to his own form, though his creations were said to be able to change. Your star magic will help you achieve what he could not."

"You will teach me how to do that?" Sakura exclaimed in wonder.

"I will try, anyhow," said Kikuchi. "I have never taught a mortal. I have never taught anyone. To the  _youkai_ , shapeshifting is innate. It was how we transcended from being mere beasts. For you, however, so attached to your flesh, and your mind so closed to all except your own perceptions, this would be harder."

"You are very generous,  _Kikuchi-san_ ," Mizuki intoned. "Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"I would not worry about that right now." Kikuchi's smile was tight. When she looked at Sakura again, her eyes were brown once more. "Let's not waste time."

She had Sakura try to transform herself first. It was something of a disaster; Sakura made no headway, partially because she did not understand Kikuchi's instructions at all. Mizuki and Tomoyo watched, the former grim and the latter fascinated. Kikuchi was not unkind, but she was far more ruthless than Hiiragizawa, and a little stubborn about having Sakura try the same thing over and over again. An hour passed this way, and Sakura developed a headache towards the end. The _kitsune_ finally allowed the girl to have a break.

"It's not in your nature," she said, making everyone some tea. "You weren't going to get this in a day."

During the break, she asked Sakura and Tomoyo what they wanted to be when they grew up. It was odd, hearing such a normal question come from a being that could turn into a fox. Or perhaps she was actually a fox that could turn into a human…either way, it was disorienting. Tomoyo mentioned going into business, so that she could help her mother run her company. Kikuchi seemed to find that very amusing.

Sakura actually had no idea what she wanted to do.

"I use to want to be an archaeologist, like my _otou-san_ ," she admitted.

"You changed your mind?" Kikuchi raised her eyebrows.

Sakura shrugged. "He's never home. And I don't know if I want to have to go out all the time."

"Your life is what you make of it," said Kikuchi.

"Maybe she can be a _geisha_ ," Tomoyo looked at the  _kitsune_.

"A _geiko_ _?_ " Kikuchi raised her eyebrows. "And what about you,  _Daidouji-chan?_ Are you interested in being a  _geiko_?"

Tomoyo blushed. "Oh…I don't know. But  _Sakura-chan_ will be very beautiful; her  _oka-san_ was a model, and her  _otou-san_ is handsome too. Her  _oni-san_ is also handsome, everyone agrees."

"You have a brother?" Kikuchi's eyes became very keen. "How nice. Is he also a Star child?"

"…Well, I don't know," Sakura blinked, feeling a little startled by the change. Something about Kikuchi's intense gaze made her feel uneasy. The  _kitsune_ could not possibly be interested in Touya  _already_ , could she? "He has magic but he doesn't like it. Doesn't like that I have to learn it."

"That's a shame." Kikuchi seemed to dismiss Touya then, and Sakura could not help but feel relieved.

"What about you?" Sakura asked. "How did you end up being a  _geisha?_ "

"The proper term is  _geiko_ ," said Kikuchi, "when in Kyoto. And I became one because I liked it. I had been a  _geiko_ many times. I liked men, and men liked me. We create a world within a world, where time stands still and all was as it had been three hundred years ago. All the troubles beyond, of family, of government, war and famine and changing powers, were irrelevant in our teahouses. We are wardens of a sanctuary of beauty. And of course, I liked the  _kimono,_ the hair, the music and dance. The games."

"You've done other things, then," Tomoyo said perceptively.

"Some," said Kikuchi. "I was a wife. I was a courtesan. And at times, when I tired of the human world, I went to  _ma_ _kai_ to make things interesting."

"What is the  _makai_ like?" Sakura asked.

"Far stranger than you can ever guess," Kikuchi's smile was still thin. "Perhaps, when you are ready, you may traverse there and see for yourself. But it would be pointless to attempt to describe it to you. No mere mortal can imagine it. But it is not a place one wishes to linger, for  _Ma-ou_ is one of its kings, and most beings are like him: cold, cruel, and crass."

"Were you born there?" Tomoyo asked.

" _Iie._ No one is born in the  _makai_. I fell. The  _makai_ is not a birthplace for good things. The  _makai_ is a prison from which all beings therein seek to escape." She smiled again, and it looked even more wrong than before. "That is why I became a  _geiko._ Once we don our clothes and paint our face, people never see us for who we are—only what they wish to see. And that is the perfect disguise."

"But you would go back, you said," Sakura frowned.

"I am  _kitsune_ ," said Kikuchi, and this time her smile was more genuine. "Men may be good, but nothing flirts better than Danger."

* * *

Though Kikuchi had not dared to be so optimistic, Sakura  _did_ get it in a day. Something, at least. She changed the color of her eyes; they went from green to hazel. Not, Kikuchi declared, the greatest of changes, but it was a vital step, because now Sakura had an inkling of how it  _felt._

It felt like nothing. No effort at all. Because, Kikuchi explained, the body was the same as the mind, and anything the mind could do, the body should too.

"That is the power of star magic, or any transformative magic," Kikuchi told her. "All bodies exist to house spirits, and all spirits are minds. The bodies are what the minds require."

Sakura was able to change her eyes to more colors: different shades of green, gray, and even yellow. She could not manage more than that, though; the thought of transforming frightened her. Made her feel unanchored, as if her powers might carry her off and she would be utterly lost. If her body could just do whatever she imagined, what if she messed up? What if she accidentally turned herself into a rock, or half of a flower, or a half-tree-half-bird? This was not like the Clow Cards. With the Clow Cards, Sakura was still herself. They could make her big or small, grant her strength and swordsmanship, make a double of her…but Sakura had always looked like herself. This…this was different.

"Mortals," Kikuchi scoffed, and the white streaks in her hair darkened before their eyes, while her whole hair shortened to her shoulders and curled, as if ironed. "So attached to their flesh. I suppose in a child, it's a little more palatable." She displayed a rather unbecoming toothy grin, and Sakura had the sudden suspicion that Kikuchi did not choose that word by accident. "But what good is your body, stuck in one form? It is neither fast, strong, nor large."

"What if I can't remember how to change back?" Sakura asked. What if she forgot the length of her hair, the shade of her skin, the height of her nose?

"You are what your soul is," said Kikuchi, "or did you think it was an accident that your face is the way it is, that you happen to be the daughter of whomever your parents are? So long as you don't hold other forms for too long, your spirit bears the template of your true form."

Sakura was not entirely reassured.

"Go home and sleep on it," said the  _kitsune_. "You've already done far better than I predicted. Perhaps that is a little fast. Humans are very bad at this, after all. You will never be able to acquire many forms, because your minds are such delicate, prissy things. Go home, sleep on it, read about what exists and think about what you would like to be, and if you want to learn more transformations, come back next week. There is no point in learning how to change when you have no forms to change into."

 


	26. A Father's Debt

The second week passed seemingly as quickly as the first, with one major difference: Syaoran began spending the night in his own room.

The first night started off poorly. Syaoran woke with his heart in his throat, and was suddenly inexplicably afraid. He had enough warrior sense to know he was alone in the room, but he still harbored that vague dread that something was hiding in the shadows, under the bed, or waiting to come through the window. He had curled up under the blankets, afraid to move in case he provoked this unseen threat, and then he heard footsteps outside his door. Three knocks on the door, and then Kero floated through first as Yue pushed the door open. The moon guardian turned on the light.

"Syaoran?" Kero hovered above him.

Having them there instantly made Syaoran feel better, but he did not understand what prompted both guardians to seek him out.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"We should be asking you," said the sun guardian.

"Was something in here?" Yue asked, shutting the door quietly behind him. "I don't sense anything."

Syaoran suddenly remembered how Yue once mentioned being able to sense how he felt. He groaned in dismay.

Luckily, Kero and Yue did not make him explain himself. Yue checked out the window; how he was able to see anything with the lights reflecting back was beyond Syaoran, but it might be some work of moon magic. Kero, in the meantime, settled on Syaoran's chest; the boy hugged him obediently.

Clow must have designed Kero's false form for a little girl to hug, he thought. Probably did not expect a broken boy to hug him instead.

_Whatever._

Yue came to Syaoran's bed and nudged the boy over. Syaoran scooted without realizing the implications at first. His bed was short, and Yue had to bend his legs in order to fit, but the guardian curled around the boy anyway, adjusting the blankets around the two of them (or three, counting Kero) as if this were something they did all the time.

"Kerberus and I use to stay with Clow all the time," the moon guardian said conversationally. "Particularly when it rained or snowed outside. Kerberus use to stay in his true form and try to squeeze me off the bed."

"Ha! You still remember that," Kero chuckled.

The random subject distracted Syaoran from his initial embarrassment. "What about Clow's wife?" he asked. After a moment, he added, "He did have one, right?"

Yue and Kero were silent for a moment. "Clow's wife died young," Kero replied. "By the time we were created, she had passed already. His children were raised by a governess, and then went away to boarding school, so most of the time we had him to ourselves."

"What were his children like?"

"…We did not associate much with them," Yue admitted. "His sons did not like us and we did not like them. They felt that Clow loved us more than him…Clow was certainly more attentive to us, but I don't think he loved us more. He just took his own children for granted. They never quite understood each other. Or if they did, they never could make anything of that." He stroked Syaoran's hair. "But they were…they picked up some bad habits from the friends they made in school. They were…vindictive. I never thought they were bad people…perhaps Kerberus would disagree, but at heart none of them were cruel. They just did not like us."

Syaoran hugged Kero tightly and squeezed Yue's wrist that was around his own waist. "They hurt you." A flare of protective anger glowed within him. He could almost see it; young men, jealous of their father's creations, jealous of all the attention these guardians stole, taking advantage of the fact that they were naïve and vulnerable and—

He felt Yue kiss the back of his head, and the anger dissipated to be replaced with that warm hope which always washed over him whenever Yue did something tender like that. "They did not care much for us, but they never dared to hurt us, no. Clow Reed's children were not bad people. They had morals and they abided by them and Clow Reed was proud of that, if nothing else. But they were never able overcome that jealousy. Stayed away from their father, and their father's creations, most of the time. Clow never voiced any intention of which son would inherit the cards. Later, one son died from illness—Black Plague, in Europe, and another was killed in an accident. Clow tried to reach out to the last one—his eldest. I think he might have considered passing the Clow Book to him, but so much time had passed that neither really knew how to forge a bond anymore, and ultimately Clow abandoned the plan."

"He wasn't a bad person," Kero allowed, "but he wasn't half the man his father was."

"He did well for himself, though," Yue broke in. "He got married, and had a relatively happy family."

"It's all well into the past, anyhow," Kero flicked at Syaoran's hand with his tail. "You should get some sleep."

They stayed with him all night. Syaoran did drift off, and he dreamed of happy things; a picnic by a great blue lake, under the cool shade of trees. Yue was holding him, his head pillowed against Yue's shoulder, while Kero was eating an ice bar. In the distance, he saw Sakura, who was wearing a white _kimono,_ and her auburn hair was long free and flowing.

He had never seen Sakura with long hair before. The visage was indistinct, but he knew she was beautiful, and Syaoran wanted her to come closer so he could see her better. He strained so hard to focus that he woke up.

It was still dark. Kero nuzzled him a little when the guardian sensed Syaoran moving, though he did not fully rouse. Yue was still holding him close, and it was peaceful. Safe.

Syaoran allowed his mind to duck back down in slumber.

In the morning, he decided that he should get Kero the video games that the guardian had been subtly whining about. Li Yelan left early, leaving the sisters to get ready for school on their own. Syaoran asked Feimei for an allowance for the day. She rolled her eyes at him; his sisters were a little miffed about his extra week off, though other than complaining a little, they did not give him too much of a hard time.

Yukito opted not to join them.

"You two have fun," he ruffled Syaoran's hair. "I'm not so interested in video games."

Syaoran was not either—at least, not other than Final Fantasy, though he did not have the console and Takeshi would also be very disappointed if Syaoran went ahead and finished the game without him. Not to mention his mother would kill him.

"You're boring," Kero declared. "What are you going to do,  _read?_ Touya was right; you are a huge nerd."

Yukito tapped Kero's head; the equivalent of a headslap. "Behave yourselves."

"Ha!"

It was getting increasingly chilly. Syaoran was glad for the bus, and ducked quickly into the store once they arrived. Kero poked his head out of Syaoran's front coat pocket and sneered a little at their collection. He still wanted to get eight games. Syaoran did not bring enough money for this, so they whittled it down to three.

"You can't play all of them at once."

"I so can."

"No you can't." That physically would not work.

"I can if you had more computers."

"You're ridiculous," but Syaoran laughed. He knew that Kero was doing it on purpose.

"I'm not boring like Yue."

"Yue's not boring."

"Yue is so boring. You haven't been with him long enough."

Syaoran laughed again. "He's only boring to you because you've been with him for too long."

"That's probably true," Kero allowed. "You should get a console. A Playstation."

" _Mama_ wouldn't agree to it," Syaoran stated. "She thinks I skimp off school as it is."

"Hmm," said Kero, sounding like he had more to say but was choosing not to say them. "If you get a console, we can play Mario Party."

"What's Mario Party?"

After Kero showed him, Syaoran was honestly intrigued, but his mother would murder him if she caught Syaoran playing games instead of practicing his sword or doing his homework.

"She's not going to kill you."

"She will."

"No she won't!"

"Yes she will! Besides I don't have a Nintendo 64!"

They argued enough that the store clerks stared at them, unaware that Syaoran's stuffed animal could talk. Syaoran bought three games and hurried out of there.

On their way down the block, a group of men came from the opposite side. Syaoran's stomach suddenly iced over.

"Kero," he whimpered, breaking out into cold sweat.

"I'm here," Kero sensed his fright. "They're not here for you."

"Kero,"

"Move to the side. They didn't even see you. See?"

Syaoran somehow made it to the side, though he felt like he had no control of his limbs. As Kero predicted, the men did not even notice him, filing past and speaking to each other in a jumble of Cantonese. Syaoran could not hear what they were actually saying through the roaring in his ears. As the group retreated down the block, he felt lightheaded and sick.

"Hey, you're OK," said Kero, reaching up with one paw to tap Syaoran's jaw. "Look, I'm here. If they wanted to hurt you, I'd have transformed and ripped their throat out. Don't worry."

"You'd transform in public," Syaoran said dully.

"So? They'd be attacking you in public."

That was true. Syaoran should have thought of that. It was broad daylight and there were other people on the streets. He suddenly felt very stupid, but the nausea did not ease.

"You're fine," said Kero. "I'm here for you, see?"

Syaoran nodded. "Sorry. I didn't mean to doubt you."

He felt wretched.

Kero bumped his head under Syaoran's chin. "Silly boy. You're fine. These things…instincts. Can't help them except with time. Say, let's find some tea place. Warm your tummy, and then we can go home and play these games."

Syaoran obliged, moving in the opposite direction of the group of men.

"Kero?" He asked after a moment.

"Hm?"

"Would you really just transform in public like that?"

Kero seemed to want to say something snarky, but his answer was proper. "Of course I would, kid. I'd do a lot more than that."

"But there are rules."

"Shove rules. You're more important. Yue thinks so too, otherwise he wouldn't let the two of us out alone."

"Oh." Syaoran did not know what to do with this. "Well…if…would you do that in a school, too?"

"…Huh?"

Syaoran felt his face grow really hot. "Never mind," he tried to dismiss, feeling stupid.

"If you get attacked at school," Kero said seriously, "I would for sure transform in a school."

"Oh." Syaoran was still feeling stupid, but now he was feeling touched, and very very awkward. "Um. Thanks."

"Do you expect to be attacked at school?"

"No!" Syaoran wondered if it was possible for steam to come out of his ears. "That's not…maybe. Not magic, like. No."

Kero gave him a look. "I'm coming with you to school next week, you know. Or whenever you end up going back. Yue and I already talked."

Syaoran blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"…Oh. Thanks." He did not realize that worry could be a physical weight until he felt how light relief was. He almost thought he would float straight off the ground.

Kero considered this answer.

"Kid. You're going to be OK."

"Yeah…thanks."

"Yue and I won't let anything happen to you."

"Thanks."

"You're an idiot."

"Th—oh shut up."

Kero laughed at this, even though Syaoran was being serious, and the rush of indignation and hurt washed away. Kero was joking?

"You're really cute, kid," said the guardian, and he sounded…genuine. "Brave boy. You don't have to be afraid, OK? Whatever is worrying you, don't. You have me and Yue. With your magic and our teamwork, them bad guys don't know what's coming."

* * *

The first name on the folder was a sorcerer named Yang Bihe. He lived in a house in a very pristine neighborhood. He also had a very mean bulldog, which was what Yukito struggled with the most. In his false form, Yue's magic was undetectable except to those familiar with his aura. It made Yukito appear harmless, which suited his purposes. Dogs, though, were creatures of habit; sometimes they were insightful, and sometimes they were just temperamental, but even Yukito had trouble with the latter.

Fortunately, dogs, like children, were distractible, and Yukito disposed of the dog by veering its attention to the television that was broadcasting a show about cats. The dog went barking at the screen, leaving Yukito to wander around the house.

It was a decent house. He had a wife and two children, one that had gone to college and one who was in high school, from the looks of it. From the photos around the place, it was difficult to tell that he was a man who cheated the Li's out of any specific heirloom. Said artifact was nowhere to be found on a cursory search, but simply stealing it back would not solve Syaoran's problems. There was always a chance that Yang might strike back.

He had a study, in which he kept some paperwork. A sift-through showed they were transactions of some kind. They seemed to be mere money, but something about the wording suggested that Yang dealt with magical trade of some kind, and not just artifacts. He seemed to have many associates.

Like many people in China, Yang had a bunch of idols perched on the display cabinet shelves. These, Yukito noted, were actually the same as the wards on the scrolls that hung in Syaoran's old apartment, and much of the Li clan's estate. Statuettes made more solid mediums for such wards, compared to scrolls. It was therefore strange that all these protections failed to keep Yukito out.

They might be more than they appeared, even to Yue.

He took a risk and transformed. The dog was still barking at the television. The guardian withdrew his wings and looked around. His aura would be detected when Yang came home, but so long as he was careful, Yang should not know how to trace him back to the Li clan. In any case, the only way he could truly determine the artifacts in his surroundings was through his true form, so this was not avoidable.

He extended a hand and touched one of the statuettes: a bearded man with a calabash in one hand and a rather disturbing open-mouthed grin. There was a swell of aura that had Yue shrinking back.

It felt like nothing Yue had sensed before.

_Are they all like that?_

But without contact, the statuettes stood, unassuming save for the wards that failed to keep Yue out. Rosy-cheeked gods with ten arms and fierce glares; bald monk-like deities in sweeping robes, holding giant peaches. A woman, sewing serenely, with a head full of jewels.

 _What **are** these things? _the guardian wondered.

He could go home and research. The Li clan had a lot of resources. But assuming they did not have the answers, if he left, he might not be able to return, and Yang would know his home had been infiltrated. His other option was to pull on the Clow Cards, use the Return card to view the past. That would alert Syaoran though, and he did not want to worry the child. Not to mention, being distracted by the Return could be very dangerous.

The dog was still barking loudly at the television. Yue wavered with indecision.

 _If the Li clan does not have resources, that is not insurmountable._ But if Yang caught Yue and managed to get to Syaoran through the guardian, that would be disastrous.

Decision made, Yue transformed back into Yukito. He looked at the statuettes and then did something Yue had not planned to do: he touched the statuettes again.

This time, nothing happened.

 _False form._ These things could not detect false forms. At least, not Yue's.  _Interesting._

* * *

 Watching Yue do research was almost as strange as seeing Yue boiling vinegar in a wok. Syaoran tiptoed by the library to stare at the sight with no small amount of astonishment. The guardian flipped through the pages noisily and made a rather messy pile. After a moment, curiosity getting the better of him, Syaoran cautiously called out, "What are you looking for?"

Yue slapped the book shut and looked up, face composed as usual, but his eyes went from glacier cold to warm and soft when he focused on the boy.

"Did you and Kerberus have fun today?"

"Um…" Syaoran hesitated, trying not to read too much into that expression. "We did. Kero got a bunch of games." He stepped into the large room. "What is all this?" he asked as he gestured to the small mountain of books on the table. One looked like it was in danger of sliding off.

"Nothing terribly important," Yue said in a tone that was awfully casual, "just occupying myself." He put the book down and approached the boy. "Where is Kerberus now?"

"Napping," The sun guardian had been so worked up over the video games that he declared he had exhausted himself. "Why does Kero need sleep and you don't?"

"Kero does not need sleep," said Yue. "He's just lazy. But perhaps you should take a nap too." He had an odd look in his eye. "Sleep is a good thing for growing boys like you."

Syaoran was trying to interpret that expression. "I suppose," he stated, though he really did not feel sleepy.

In a rush of panic, he remembered the two times Yue  _forced_ him to sleep. The thought was so sudden, he took a step back before he had time to rationalize that Yue would not do that anymore.

At least, he did not think so.

He was not sure why the thought came  _now_ , when Syaoran had certainly slept in Yue's arms before. Aware that Yue probably sensed that spike of fear, he tried to distract the guardian. "Are you researching something?" The books did not look like idle reading.

Yue folded his arms. "Kerberus and I have been asleep for some time. Since we last walked the earth, there have been many developments." He did not stop Syaoran from approaching the table and taking the book that was sliding off. "This is for my father, isn't it?" He looked at the title. "Wards and Protections."

Syaoran actually did not know what artifacts had been traded in order to attempt saving his father's life. He wondered if one of them might actually have been a scroll of some kind.

"In part," Yue said noncommittally.

"Maybe I can help," Syaoran said, and then felt stupid: help with something that was his own duty anyway? How ridiculous was that? He went on, hoping Yue would not notice, "what are you looking for?"

Yue hesitated, before replying, "I'm looking for any book on the subject of infusing statues, or statuettes, with spells."

"That's pretty broad."

"So it is."

"Is it a particular kind of statue? A particular kind of spell?"

"Possibly both."

Syaoran waited for Yue to elaborate, but the guardian reached for the book, taking it from Syaoran.

"Why don't you go take a nap with Kerberus?" Yue turned around.

"I'm not tired." Syaoran was getting  _less_ tired, now that it was apparent that Yue had been up to this business when his false form ushered Syaoran and Kero out of the house earlier in the day. "You don't have to keep me out of it, you know. I can handle this."

"I know," said Yue, "but I don't even know what I'm looking for, yet. Involving you would just be wasting your time. You should spend a little more time with Kerberus." He paused. "He would get jealous, knowing you chose to come to me instead of staying with him."

Syaoran frowned. "Why would he get jealous? He's  _sleeping_ , what am I supposed to do, watch him?"

Yue hesitated a little more. Despite no obvious tells, Syaoran had the impression that the guardian was struggling to make a decision on revealing a certain truth.

"He's not as confident as he appears," the moon guardian said at last. "He can be very insecure. It's one of the reasons he was unhappy when you passed the Final Judgment. He had always believed Clow favored me over him and he felt you would do the same."

Syaoran's forehead pinched.  _Well, Kero wasn't wrong._

"You are the source of our power," Yue went on, tones even softer. "We depend on our master for our very existence, and regardless of our preference, you become our world, our priority, the one we must cherish and protect above all else. And it can be frightening if that loyalty is not returned."

Syaoran stepped back, feeling like he had been slapped.  _So there it is, again._

"No," Yue reached out and took Syaoran by the wrists when the boy continued to back away. "I am not talking about you personally. I meant in general. Having a new master…knowing we must serve him…it can be frightening. I…was too."

This was not comforting. Syaoran tugged back, but Yue did not let go.

"Please…I only intended to convey to you that whatever facade he wears, he would appreciate the reassurance. Clow spent a lot of time with me because I always asked for it. Kerberus was…strong, and so Clow thought he did not need him. He was wrong."

Syaoran blinked. Yue was trying to get him to do something. For his fellow guardian. He set his own feelings aside to try to understand. "…What do you want me to do?"

"Just spend time with him, today," Yue slowly let go and reached up to cup the boy's cheeks. "He wouldn't mind, as long as your intentions are good."

What was Syaoran supposed to do? Watch the guardian nap?

"You are probably more tired than you feel, anyway." Yue withdrew.

_Oh._

Well, Kero  _was_ a stuffed animal. And Syaoran did not like Kero feeling hurt that way. He was their master now; he needed to take care of them. But…

Syaoran's eyes flicked over the books. "Are you sure—"

"I'll let you know as soon as you can help," Yue reached up to smooth Syaoran's hair. "Go to Kerberus."

* * *

Two hours later, Yue found what he was looking for.

The god with the manic grin was more of a demon, he found, though not a purely evil spirit as would be associated with such beings. Wantong was a troublemaker, and delighted in mischief and games of wit. He did not cause suffering just for the sake of suffering, but he enjoyed seeing people suffer from their own stupidity. The idol, Yue found, had been one of his eyes, and the magic Yue had sensed had been that of the spirit behind it, activating at the touch of Yue's aura.

The other idols were more of the same. None of them were necessarily evil; some might be even good, but all of the idols were the eyes and ears of spirits. Why Yang had them all collected in his home, Yue had no idea. One reason, he noted, was probably because none of these spirits were popular enough to warrant their own temples in Hong Kong.

He did not like that such beings were aware of Yue's own existence. This could easily lead to Syaoran, and given what happened when Syaoran officially bonded with the cards, Yue was wary of any spiritual being knowing of the boy.

He would have to talk this over with Kerberus. They might have to investigate Yang again.

Syaoran's sisters came home in the afternoon while the boy was still asleep. Yue cast the Silent over Syaoran's room so they would not disturb him and Kerberus. The girls went about eating snacks and watching a little bit of television before getting to homework, during which Syaoran, hair sleep-tousled and face groggy, emerged from the room. Kerberus floated out drowsily from behind him, looking like he regretted the decision to take the nap, but he perked up at the crinkle of snacks and abandoned the boy in favor of those.

"Hi Kero," said Fuutie, " did you two have a good time?"

Syaoran went up to Yue, ignoring his sisters. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Yue raised a hand to indicate that Syaoran should not say any more in front of his sisters. "Yes. Everything is alright."

Syaoran was still sleepy, and when he blinked, his eyelids stuck together. Yue reached out to cup the child's head, running his fingers through the hair. Syaoran's scalp was warm under his palm, and his hair was soft and young.

"This is a stupid homework assignment," Feimei was complaining as the front door closed. Syaoran turned before Yue could withdraw his hand. The guardian followed suit to find Li Yelan kicking off her shoes, her eyes steady on her son.

" _Mama._ " Syaoran went to her. Yue's hand dragged his messy hair up in tufts, and Yelan reached out to smooth it.

"Were you napping?" the matriarch asked as she bent down to move her shoes to the side.

" _Un._ "

She then looked at Yue, and there was something rather frosty about her gaze. Syaoran reached for her then, and she dropped her eyes to enfold her son in a careful embrace.

" _Mama,_ you're home early," Shiefa noted.

"So I am," Yelan released Syaoran, who lingered by her side as she went further in toward her study.

He did not always cling to her, but sometimes he seemed to need some reassurance. Li Yelan took this in stride and paid no attention to this. His sisters watched them disappear down the hall.

Fanren sighed. "He's still not well."

"He's only been home for a week," Feimei pointed out.

The teenagers dismissed their brother then in favor of their respective homework. Kerberus floated back to Syaoran's room with a bag of snacks. Yue used the opportunity to follow him and speak to him in private.

The sun guardian said nothing until Yue finished.

"Figures. The Li clan wouldn't go to just anyone for something like this."

"No, but the question now is: what do we do about this?"

Kerberus sighed. "Well, we can wait, or we can strike, on our terms. I vote the latter."

"We don't even know what we're striking."

"Wantong, Yang Bihe, a bunch of other spirits. What? We can't cower here forever. Plus, remember, the kid has an unlimited supply of negative magic."

"That doesn't mean we can afford to be careless. That unlimited supply of magic did not prevent him from getting hurt."

"Don't remind me," Kerberus grumbled. "But he's not meant to cower forever, and neither are we. These threats won't go away just because we don't provoke them."

Yue looked away. This went against his own instincts, but that was why Clow had created two of them, with a third, a master, to balance them out. Though for the time being, neither of them wanted Syaoran involved. The boy was stressed enough as it was.

"We can't just confront him. Syaoran is not Clow. Not only is his magic not fully mature, he needs us. If we get hurt, he can't patch us up the way Clow can, and he'd be even more vulnerable than he already is. If we get captured, he'd do anything to get us back, and he isn't as clever as Clow was." Not that Syaoran was not smart, but Clow Reed simply had more tools at his disposal. "Keeping Syaoran safe means we have to be very careful. We can't take unnecessary risks."

"He's got a real mother, you know," the sun guardian muttered. "It's not like he has no one else if something happens to us."

Yue thought of Yelan in her office, Yelan hugging her son, holding him at night, but then leaving him again in the morning and stranding him for most of the day. Whatever her reasons, she was not fulfilling Syaoran's needs. "We still need to watch ourselves."

"Fine. We do this your way, then. What is your way anyway? Waiting?"

That would be intolerable, even for Yue. "He has children. One of them is in high school."

Kerberus raised his ears up. 

"Going that route, eh?"

"As long as Yukito does not break our cover, Yang should not suspect."

"What if he had cameras in his house? He might recognize you."

"I doubt he'd put two and two together. Security cameras tend to have poor resolution."

"What exactly do you hope to accomplish?"

"Gather information. You should never discount any sources."

"You're wasting time."

"This isn't exactly time that would have been spent. That boy is ten years old. If it weren't for the Clow Cards, they'd be waiting anyway. The likes of Yang Bihe wouldn't even know."

"But the Clow Cards have come to Hong Kong," Kerberus pointed out, "which ups the clock, if Tomoeda had been anything to go by. Hiiragizawa may have kept everything under wraps in that regard, but the good ones would know."

"Then they can strike and we can be reactionary in that case. But we shouldn't stir up waters before they already boil."

"You know, I promised the boy I'm going with him to school."

"You can go with him to school."

"What if you need backup?"

"Yukito has to go to  _some_ school."

Kerberus inhaled. "I suppose you might as well. But be very careful. Yukito might have been protected in Tomoeda, but this is a different territory."

"Yukito has secrets of his own," Yue replied. "He is not defenseless."

"Neither is Syaoran," the sun guardian pointed out. "That doesn't mean you're invulnerable. Be careful."

"It's just school," said Yue. "I think I can handle a bunch of teenagers."

* * *

He was floating above his sarcophagus in the tomb. A man was keening, sobbing. _"Xiaolang…Xiaolang…"_ He sounded like he was right by Syaoran's ear.

 _Father?_ Syaoran wondered.

He woke. Kero was still snoring.

Syaoran sat up abruptly.

The guardian woke up. "Nngh. Eh? Kid? You alright?"

" _Baba?_ " Syaoran blinked, feeling very disoriented and confused. Part of him knew that his father had long been dead, but the other part was still hearing his voice.

Kero spun out from under the blankets. "What now?"

Reality was sinking back in, though, and Syaoran felt very stupid, though also a bit alarmed.

"I thought I heard…" Syaoran felt foolish.

"You thought you heard your dad?" Kero settled back down on the blankets. "You do that often? You never did that in Japan."

"I don't dream about him," Syaoran admitted. "I don't remember dreaming about him before. And…" he was about to mention the tomb, but decided against it. "Never mind. Go back to sleep."

Yukito had gone out by the time they got up for real. "To enroll in high school," said Kero.

"Why would Yue want to go to high school?" Shiefa raised an eyebrow as the sisters piled before the front door to change their shoes.

"He was in high school in Japan," Syaoran shrugged.

"We're alright with this?" Shiefa looked at Li Yelan.

"Your brother determined that this was reasonable."

"So he's going to have to study and do homework and all of that?" Fuutie exclaimed.

"What else is he supposed to do?" Syaoran defended.

She shrugged at this, though she clearly thought this was all absurd.

Later that morning, Yukito came back.

"I'm starting tomorrow," he announced casually after kicking off his shoes. He took off his glasses suddenly. "Though I think I need a new pair of these. Would…your mother be alright with me getting a new pair?" He had no money in Hong Kong.

"Are you alright?" Syaoran asked.

"I'm fine. Why?"

Something about Yukito needing Li Yelan's permission for anything felt a little odd, and wrong. "Just…" the boy scratched the back of his head. He felt like he had looped the two guardians into a prison of sorts.

"Xiaolang," Yukito reached out and slid his hand under Syaoran's to move it from his head. "I'm fine. What are you worried about?"

 _You won't be happy here,_ Syaoran thought, but it was too complicated to voice out loud. "Nothing."

The whole thing felt off, from the fact that everyone called Yukito 'Syutou' around here, and now the Japanese boy was speaking fluent Cantonese as if he had been speaking it all his life. Syaoran was pretty certain Yukito did not know how to speak Chinese before, and it was all Yue's doing, talents bleeding into his false form as needed.  _I have to take better care of them._ He could not sit around feeling sorry for himself, having stupid flashbacks and breaking down into tears at every little thing.  _They are mine to protect, mine to support, mine to defend._

"Kero should accompany you on your first day," he said, to distract everyone. Kero and Yukito both gave him a look Syaoran could not understand. "Well…" he backtracked, wondering if he sounded too domineering, "if you want."

Something about their posture relaxed at this.  _Did they really have such a low opinion of me?_

"What are you going to do by yourself for a whole day?"

"I've been by myself before," Syaoran protested. He had  _lived_ by himself. Before everything went haywire. "I think I can manage."

"As long as you're alright with it," Yukito shrugged. "I can't protest having another pair of eyes."

Another pair of eyes for what purpose? Syaoran tilted his head to one side, but his guardians moved away, with Yukito going to the kitchen to scavenge for something to eat. Syaoran considered going after him, but held back.

 _Yukito use to live alone. Just as I did._ Syaoran already felt stifled by having to live under someone else's rules again. With Eriol, it had been similar, but he had been a guest there. Li Yelan was the matriarch, and his mother. He could not disobey her. Yukito would not be use to that. Kero would not be use to that.

 _They had their own lives._ Who was Syaoran to bully his way into knowing all of their affairs?

"Syaoran, do you want something to eat?" Yukito asked, looking in the fridge.

"I'm fine," said the boy. "I'm going out to the garden."

He should give them a little bit of privacy. Though this also worked to help him escape into his own thoughts.


	27. Two Halves

 

When Watson called back, it was to deliver bad news.

 _"She's dead,"_ the man sounded completely devoid of his usual arrogance.  _"Poisoning. It didn't seem to be self-inflicted; she was halfway between the table and her landline phone."_

"Oh my God," said Eriol, because that was the only thing he could do. "When did this happen?"

 _"Not long ago; sometime yesterday morning. Her guardians are trying to keep everything hushed up for now."_ Watson's tones grew firm.  _"H, what is going on?"_

"Do they know who was responsible?" Eriol asked instead of answering.

_"If they do, they chose not to reveal it to me. Whatever is happening is serious, though. Someone wants to keep things quiet and clear all witnesses. H, does this have something to do with the Clow Cards?"_

"I don't know." Eriol rubbed his face. The only way anyone would be brazen enough to kill the Oracle and offend her patron god was if they also had a patron god. Or an especially powerful demon. Apollo's influence had only decreased since the fall of Rome, but so did most of his fellow deities on that hemisphere. On the eastern half, however, there were too many candidates to count.

_"There was a reason you were looking for her."_

"I was seeking her counsel regarding the matter of the Clow Cards, but I wouldn't expect those to warrant something like this." This, strictly on its own, was true; even in Clow Reed's time, the Oracle had never been touched. Never been involved, even. Not even for advice.

 _"Hm, this might be bigger than that. There's talk about that youngster of yours."_ Watson did not need to clarify which one.  _"There have been some whispers of him in the past. The curse upon the Li clan. It's a wonder they allowed him to live, given his origins, but it's interesting what people have been saying."_

"How so?" Eriol asked, keeping his tones cool.

 _"The only thing definite is that he's a person of interest,"_ Watson replied.  _"For all parties."_

Not just mortals, he meant.

 _"No one seems to know where he's from,"_ Watson went on,  _"or at least, no one is willing to talk. There's a chance he comes from shady beginnings. I wonder if he is related, somehow, to the Oracle's murder."_

"He could hardly have done it himself."

_"Oh, I don't mean that. Though that wouldn't surprise me either, given what I've been told. What I mean is, the Oracle probably knows something about him that someone doesn't want her to share. This might actually go for any seer."_

Eriol blinked as the epiphany hit him. Seers were often depicted to tell the truth, and in general they were obligated to speak of the future only as they see it and no more than that—part of the conditions to keeping their gifts—but what people tended to forget, himself included, is that seers occasionally do not wish to divulge information, or were ordered not to. In these cases, they were allowed one type of lie: feigning ignorance.

"We'll see if other seers are murdered during this time," he replied, turning the idea over in his mind.

 _"I suppose that is all we can do."_ Watson hesitated.  _"Keep me apprised, will you, dear boy? I do not like this. If you need any help, I am at your service."_

Watson was not the type to offer such support without squeezing some promise out of others.

"I appreciate that, Watson," Eriol murmured, even somewhat sincere. "Do take care."

* * *

His sister was up to something again.

Normally, Touya would ask his mother, but Nadeshiko had not turned up for a while. Which was not unusual, except she did not even appear when Sakura was attacked by  _Ma-ou_. This, in combination with this new development with his sister, had Touya's every instinct blaring in alarm.

Sakura was tight-lipped about her trip to Kyoto. Tomoyo produced some pictures, but if anything it was more evidence that the trip was not a straightforward one. Sakura's eyes were tight above the forced smile, and her silence on what should have been a fun day out made Touya all the more suspicious.

Confronting her directly, however, made Sakura withdraw all the more.

"I can't say," she finally said. "I—I don't want you to get hurt."

She was too good to lie to him, never mind that Sakura's face was an open book. Touya took a deep breath and reminded himself that in this case, Sakura was not to blame.

"I am your brother," he said tightly. "If knowledge wouldn't hurt you, it wouldn't hurt me either. But lack of it would. Do you understand,  _Imotou-chan?"_

Cowed, Sakura ducked her head. "It's…it's because you're a  _guy_ , though."

Touya wished his mother were still around. At some point, he needed to ask Hiiragizawa about her. If this truly were a girl thing, perhaps Kaho was doing them a favor by being Sakura's confidante in this case, but Touya highly doubted it. What kind of girl problem required going to Kyoto? It was true that Sakura went to Kyoto with only females, but as far as Touya was concerned, the only girl issue that might be acceptable to keep from her brother and her father were those that required buying pads.

He called the mansion while Sakura stood opposite him, wringing her hands in dismay.

"What did you do last weekend?" Touya demanded when Kaho answered the phone.

" _Touya-kun._ "

"Don't  _Touya-kun_ me, Mizuki Kaho. She's sneaking around behind my back and  _you're_ involved. I realize that we have to keep this from our father since he didn't already figure this out, but you don't have that excuse with me."

Kaho was silent for a long time.  _"It's not safe for you to know."_

"I'll be the judge of that."

_"You can't. You don't know what is at stake."_

Touya nearly slammed the receiver. "If it's not safe for me to know then it's not safe for her to  _do_ , do you understand? I am her  _brother_. I am turning eighteen in a few months; I would be going to  _college_ in about half a year. She is  _ten years old_. She's certainly not anywhere  _close_ to being qualified to make these decisions herself, and  _you_ are  _definitely_ not qualified to make them for her. Are you  _kidding me_?"

Kaho was quiet again.

 _"Perhaps you should come over._ "

"Oh no you don't. _You're_ coming over to explain yourself. I'm not running out for  _your_ mistake."

_"Very well. I'll be there in half an hour."_

This time, Touya did slam the phone.

" _Oni-chan…_ " Sakura looked at up with wide eyes.

"Not now." He told himself he was not angry with her, but it was hard to say for sure because he was furious all the same.

When Kaho arrived, Hiiragizawa was with her.

Touya did not offer them tea.

"What happened in Kyoto?"

"We went to the Sika temple," said Kaho, legs together and hands folded on her lap. She was anxious. "We met with the _miko_ there in hopes that they might give us some advice. They directed us to a _geiko_  who taught Sakura some new powers."

"What new powers? Who is this  _geiko?_ "

"Well just one power," Sakura mumbled, eyes lowered. "Just…I can change the color of my eyes."

She demonstrated. Touya was floored.

 _That is amazing._ Also, very unnerving. Somehow, Sakura should not have brown eyes, or blue eyes. Her eyes were green.

"Why is this a secret?" Touya asked. "Why did you feel the need to keep this from me?"

"It's not the power itself," Kaho said wearily. "It's the one she learned it from. _Sakura-san_  is a novice still, and has to refine her control, but the one she learned it from is such that even  _Eriol-san_ hesitates to meet with her."

Touya squinted at Hiiragizawa. "You're intimidated by the  _geisha?_ " They were certainly a pride of Kyoto, and by extension Japan, and everyone generally agreed that they were the epitome of grace and beauty. If Sakura had gone ahead and become a  _maiko_ …Touya was not sure how he felt about that, but she was certainly pretty enough to be one. Graceful, not so much, but pretty, yes.

"She is no ordinary  _geiko_ ," Hiiragizawa replied. "She is not mortal, for one. A child is more protected against the likes of her, for she would not be offended by a little girl, much less one such as  _Sakura-chan_. Someone like you and me, however, are more at risk. We are old enough to be accountable for our actions."

"She's not mortal?" Touya tilted his head. "Is she a  _kami_ , then?  _Iie._ She's a  _demon._ You took my sister to see a  _demon?_ "

"She's not a demon," said Hiiragizawa, "but that does not make her less dangerous to the wrong people."

"Like my sister."

Hiiragizawa's eyebrows pinched. " _Sakura-chan_ was not in danger. We decided it was a worthwhile trip, as the  _miko_ of Kyoto endorsed her, and Kaho, too, went with her for extra security."

" _You_ decided. Why wasn't I part of the decision?"

"Even I was not part of the decision," Hiiragizawa replied.

Touya pointed at his face. "You take advantage of both of us, Hiiragizawa and Mizuki. We have no mother and our father is not allowed to know of our exploits, so we depend on  _you_ , and  _this_ is how you do things?!"

" _Oni-chan…_ "

He rose to his feet. "She's not  _yours_ , she's  _mine!_ "

"You are  _both_ mine," Hiiragizawa suddenly snapped, and something powered his voice, even though it was not loud. The entire house seemed to hush at this announcement.

Touya swore at him. "We are not your playthings, Hiiragizawa Eriol!"

" _Iie._ You are my children."

"Are you out of your mind?!" Touya shouted, ready to punch the bastard.

"Sit down!" Hiiragizawa ordered, and some compulsion folded Touya's legs under him.

"Eriol," Kaho warned.

"Stop!" Sakura cried out. "What are you doing?" She stepped in front of Touya, but Touya grabbed her by the waist and tugged her back, away from Eriol.

The phone suddenly rang.

Everyone stopped to listen.

Kaho had her hand on Hiiragizawa's arm. She looked at Sakura. "Go answer that."

Sakura was reluctant to move, but Touya loosened his hold on her. She slowly went over to the phone and answered it just as it was about to go to voicemail.

" _Otou-san_ ," she exclaimed. " _Hai._ You are coming home soon?  _Un. Iie._ S-sure.  _Ja._ " She hung up.

A long silence fell.

"When your father comes home," Hiiragizawa finally said, "give me a call. I'd stay for this talk, but it's better if this is done at the mansion."

"Why?" Touya bit, as Kaho looked at Hiiragizawa in concern.

"There have been some developments," he replied, "and you are right. This is no longer something that can be handled on your own. Sakura is too young. You are also too young. And we cannot be accountable for the two of you without keeping your father in the loop."

Touya's rage simmered down as the implications set in.

"Wouldn't this be breaking the rules?" he asked.

Hiiragizawa shook his head. "Keeping Fujitaka out of things is a matter of convenience, not rules. The rules do not apply to him."

"Why not?" Sakura asked, voice small.

"Because he and I are the same," said the sorcerer. "It's just I got the power and the memories, so that he may be free to raise the two of you without the burden of Clow's legacy. But he is the reincarnation of Clow Reed, just as I am, and it's time he embraced his identity. For better or worse."

* * *

Fujitaka arrived with his two offspring just as it started raining. Tall, with a cheerful countenance and a pleasant demeanor, he carried much of Clow Reed's presence even without his magic. He was familiar with Kaho but had never met Eriol before, though he treated the latter with the same warmth. Kaho made some udon noodles, which everyone partook, and they spoke of nonsense, at first; little things like the weather and the changing seasons. The elder Kinomoto seemed comfortable and casual enough; his children had not explained everything to him yet. Eriol observed him and could not help falling deep in thought.

In many ways, Kinomoto Fujitaka was a lot like Clow Reed. He lost his wife early and neglected his children. Clow Reed had to navigate the magical society, and in a way his career kept him away from his family. Fujitaka was the same. Eriol wondered if he would end up with the same frosty relations as Clow had; two dead sons and one estranged, none of whom could carry his legacy.

Not that it was theirs to carry.

 _What was it about us?_ About Clow Reed? Even without his great powers and prestige, the pattern of his life remained the same. He was still a widower from an early age and unaware of his children's exploits. When they were in trouble, he had no idea. When Clow was alive, he had no idea his second son had been so ill. Word only reached him after the boy had passed away. The Black Plague was known for killing quickly and efficiently, but Clow, with his vast powers, could have at least been at the child's bedside. Then the third, the youngest, died in the accident, a blow so brutal for both how abrupt and meaningless it was. Eriol could recall that hollow feeling that gouged inside him after each strike. The second son had been the clever one. The youngest had been the innocent, slightly selfish, but well-meaning one, most comfortable with his own wants and needs. They had grown up so fast, and before Clow could have wrapped his head around the fact that they were adults, they were gone, leaving behind only the eldest, who wanted nothing to do with the father he barely knew. He would have gladly given up his magic if it meant he could have a family. He would have even given up Cerberus and Yue, if he had known.

Towards the end of dinner, the Kinomoto siblings were getting increasingly agitated. Kaho began clearing the plates when Eriol asked to speak with him alone.

"Your children have magic," he began, ready for questions.

Surprisingly, Fujitaka had little to say. "Must come from their mother," he said after asking for a little clarification. He did not seem to feel the need to challenge the statement, or request proof.

"You already know?" Eriol asked.

"I wouldn't say that," said the professor. "It's just not very surprising." He suddenly narrowed his eyes. "There's a reason you're telling me this, other than because I should know."

"They are under attack, and they're scared."

Fujitaka's amiable face hardened, and the change was drastic. Some of Clow's friends had mentioned "that expression" to him before.  _"Your face goes dark and your eyes glint like iron blades."_ Clow had never seen this himself; he would hardly look in the mirror when the occasion came, but Eriol now understood what they had been talking about.

Recalling Clow's own eldest son, Eriol went on, "You need to support Touya, especially. He has magic but he hasn't learned to use it, except the passive senses and enhancements. He feels overwhelmed and is overwhelmed. He needs his father."

"He's been distracted lately. I thought it was because Yukito left."

"Touya likes being in control." This, actually, was rather like Clow; Sakura, while someone Clow had felt an instant kinship with, resembled her own mother rather than anyone in Clow's life. "He likes taking care of things on his own and being independent. He also feels very responsible for those he cares about." Again, like Clow. In many ways, Touya was more like Clow than any of Clow's true sons. "But he's young, and he is going head to head with those who are much wiser and stronger than he. He doesn't trust me, but he'd trust you."

Fujitaka lowered his head as he folded his arms, absorbing this. Once again, he did not seem to feel the need to question Eriol's remarks. It was far too easy; almost suspiciously so. And yet, Eriol could not bring himself to challenge this either.

And then, as if sensing his thoughts, Fujitaka asked, "Who are you?"

Sometimes, Eriol was not sure himself. "I am you," he said, for simplicity's sake. "We are both reincarnations of a powerful sorcerer named Clow Reed. In some ways, he was responsible for where we are today, though not all of it."

It was here that Fujitaka seemed to lose some of his equanimity. "What do you mean, you are me? You are a child, and you're not Japanese."

"I am far older than I look……It is a long story, and begins thousands of years ago. We were both Clow Reed, who is still known as the greatest sorcerer of all time. He was the son of an Anglo-Saxon, Reed Alpert, and a Chinese lady, Li Shi. Normally, western and eastern magic compels their users to avoid each other, but those two fell in love, and produced Clow as their only offspring. He somehow came to be with both western and eastern magic, and easily surpassed his peers. Everyone saw great things of him, and he did too. But he didn't realize that his power would come with so many conditions. He was expected to take care of a society that would not cooperate with him. People thought that being the greatest sorcerer meant that he did not need a life of his own. For a while, he thought that too. Devoted his whole life to magic, to the betterment of the world, futile though it was. Along the way, he lost his wife, lost his children. He didn't want a repeat of that way of living, so he made a pact. In the next life, he would not retain all of his power. In the next life, he would not be the greatest sorcerer of all. And so there are two of us, one for each half."

"So he split his soul into two."

" _Hai_."

"In order to divide his magic in two?"

Eriol nodded.

"Do I have magic then?"

" _Iie._ He had some unfinished business. The plan was for you to have a normal life, for the benefit of your children. I was to hold onto the power until my tasks are done, before giving you the other half."

Fujitaka tilted his head. "You still want to do that?"

Eriol knew what he was asking. He smiled wistfully. "I have Clow's memories as well as his power. I remember all the reasons he wanted to do this. I have no need of that kind of life. But Touya and Sakura are not the only ones I have to protect."

"That Chinese boy," Fujitaka remembered. "Didn't he go back to Hong Kong?"

"For the time being," said Eriol, "but I am still responsible for him. He is not safe with his family."

Fujitaka's brows pinched as Eriol explained the situation with the Li clan. He looked to the side as Eriol elaborated on everything that had happened in Tomoeda, from the planting of the Clow Cards here, their capture, the Final Judgment, the Kikutake, and then Syaoran's own identity, and Sakura as the Star Maiden.

"So what exactly is the plan now?" Fujitaka asked.

"Sakura needs to mature, and Touya needs to learn how to use his magic, if only to protect himself."

"He's refusing to learn magic?" Fujitaka guessed.

"He hasn't seen the good sides of it, lately."

"I'll talk to him," said Fujitaka. "What do you plan to do about the boy?"

"He can't heal properly while under my care, but I might have to retrieve him from Hong Kong eventually. Right now he has his guardians, who should protect him for now…" Eriol thought of the guardian who had been murdered and wondered if the Li clan had something to do with the Oracle's death after all. "His family might be going down a path he shouldn't follow. I can't let him."

"You plan on taking him from his mother?"

Eriol sighed. "We'll focus on Sakura for now."

Fujitaka nodded. "Can we trust this  _kitsune?_ "

"She's less likely to hurt Sakura than you or me, though you need to keep your son away from her."

"Touya won't like that."

"Touya already doesn't. It's why I felt it best that you get involved. He's more likely to listen to you than to me."

"I don't know. At his age, boys have their own view of how the world works." Fujitaka looked distant. "Boys  _and_ girls. Hard to make them see sense and avoid mistakes when every fiber of their being points them in that direction."

"If he gets on the wrong side of her, it would be a mess we cannot afford to clean up."

"I'll talk to him and try my best, but while he's a kind boy, he doesn't have the nicest manners."

Eriol snorted at this; he could not help himself.

"He didn't have a mother figure," Fujitaka went on. "He doesn't quite understand that certain things cannot be crossed between sexes. A woman's pain cannot be unburdened by a man. Nadeshiko was much younger than I was when we met. She was vibrant and beautiful and trusted me completely. I had the audacity to believe that I could be all the family she needed. I was a teacher, a scholar, and at the time I thought I could learn all I needed to know through books and research. But time went on…I knew things but didn't understand them. She thought that if I didn't know, then it didn't matter. That was our folly."

"How did she die?"

"Uterine cancer. Rare before menopause. We didn't know. She got ill very quickly. Being a man, I didn't understand the nuances of the process. Her bleeding became a little irregular, but that has happened before. She kept complaining that she didn't feel right. I had no idea what that meant. Neither of us did." Fujitaka looked down, his face tight with grief. "When she fell ill, her family blamed me. Said she wouldn't have been sick  _there_ for no reason. Thought I was…hurting her. But I would never." He looked at Eriol, his eyes glistening. "She was tired and…it was more important to me to let her rest as much as possible. I hardly dared to touch her for months leading up to her diagnosis."

"Oh," Eriol breathed out in sympathy. No wonder Touya and Sakura had no clue why the Amamiya's blamed Fujitaka for Nadeshiko's passing. It would have been too ugly for polite company or impressionable children. " _Gomen nasai._ "

"It's in the past," Fujitaka shook his head, and composed himself. "She gave me the best years of my life and left me two beautiful children. I will always miss her, but there it is."

"She hasn't been around lately," Eriol noted.

"What do you mean?"

"Her spirit sometimes appears in times of trouble."

Fujitaka frowned. "Touya use to mention seeing her. I thought he was just imagining things, or still bereaved. He hasn't done that in years."

"He's learned not to say so, but the point remains that she hasn't turned up in a while, even to me. You can ask him personally; I never thought to do that."

"You're able to see her?"

There was such longing in the man's eyes that Eriol felt bad admitting to it.

" _Hai,_ " he said. "I was planning on giving that gift to you at a later time, though perhaps now is just as well. I fear I may still need that power, however."

Fujitaka looked like he was at a loss for words.

Eriol looked away. "I'll give it to you now if you agree to help me."

"Help my children?"

"And mine," said Eriol, thinking of Syaoran. "Not as a condition so much as…I do need it, in some form."

Fujitaka leaned forward. "That goes without saying. You've protected my son and daughter all this time. It's the least I can do. Besides…" he paused, "we are the same, are we not?"

Something in Eriol relaxed at this. "So we are," he replied.

* * *

Seeing her father and Eriol side-by-side made for a very surreal experience, because they had the exact same expressions despite being of different ethnicities. She and Touya found them sitting on the couch, bent over what looked like a small journal made out of vellum and wearing identical frowns.

"At that point," Eriol was explaining, "she had already died. It wouldn't have been the worst offense if he did choose to succumb, but he felt it was too much trouble."

"This is what she looked like?"

" _Hai._ "

"…Doesn't look Japanese."

Sakura managed to sneak a look at the page they were staring at and saw an illustration, obviously hand-drawn, of a woman with long flowing hair. It was actually sparsely drawn; the hair was not even colored in. Of course, there was a possibility that the woman's hair was simply white, but that was difficult to say, and she certainly had no idea how her father could tell how Japanese the woman was supposed to be.

"She wasn't Japanese," Eriol confirmed. "She actually adopted the face of a dead ethnicity: the Qiuci. Well, it use to be a kingdom…they were related to the Tocharians."

"Oh! The nomads in the Tarim Basin?" Ever the archaeologist, it figured that Fujitaka would know what on earth Eriol was talking about.

"They looked the part too. Appealed to Clow Reed's Anglo-Saxon tastes. Everyone else thought she was a devil-bred, though. Firey-red hair, green eyes. It was strange to the locals."

"Well, in her case…" Fujitaka pointed out.

"She didn't care. The thing about the  _kitsune_ is that while they are very amorous and they pursue love single-mindedly, love is not actually their motivation. The  _kistune_ can live for hundreds of years and they often lived for a long time before that, in their original fox forms. The traditional appeals of romance in human cultures mean fairly little to them. They simply find it easier to make a wealthy man fall in love with them, to fulfill whatever purpose they're aiming for. That's why they generally adore men."

"So what are they actually aiming for?"

"I have no idea. Like most such mysteries, I suspect it is something simple and obvious and yet difficult to understand. Likely, each of them have a different agenda as well. Perhaps even more than one. Many sorcerers have tried to explain their behavior…with no success. Some things just elude us mortals, I suppose."

"But this Kikuchi wants to help my daughter?"

"She's willing to, anyway. And one thing I'm rather certain of is that demons are as bad for each other as they are for us."

"Probably wants a favor," Fujitaka guessed.

"She hasn't demanded that, but I would be prepared for it."

Fujitaka looked up. "I'd like to meet this  _geiko._ "

"I wouldn't advise that," Eriol said immediately.

"She wouldn't have much use for me. I don't have money nor magic."

"I wouldn't draw such conclusions so blithely. You're a relatively young man, a widower, with two magical children and the potential to gain magic at a later date."

"She doesn't know that."

"She can find out. Vixens have their ways, and she may have a network we don't know of. She wouldn't withhold her charms from you and  _kitsune_ get  _very_ offended if you reject them."

Fujitaka frowned. "If this spirit is too dangerous for me to even meet, I don't know about letting my daughter near her."

" _Kitsune_ generally are disinterested in children unless they get in their way. Not to say that they are completely harmless, as children do have a good sense for the spiritual world, even nonmagical ones. But the foxes tend to be apathetic unless they feel threatened. Plus, the  _miko_ were the ones who referred us to her."

Fujitaka inhaled deeply. "And we trust these  _miko?_ "

Sakura had never seen her father be cynical before. This was new, and she was not sure she liked it.

"She's been entertaining tourists and patrons for years and the temples were aware of it. They haven't kicked her out."

"They are capable of it?"

"The temples? Of course they can."

"And if they feel she's harmless, they'd be right?"

"She's not  _harmless,_ " Eriol clarified, "but if they deem that she has no ill-intentions, that is likely correct. And certainly, a  _kitsune_ would not be eager to incur the wrath of temple patrons."

Fujitaka looked up at his children. "Then I suppose we'll work with her. For now."

"Just like that?" Touya exclaimed, after managing to hold his silence all this time.

"Not much choice," Fujitaka pointed out. "If your sister needs to learn these techniques, we don't know anyone else who can learn them. We have the support of Kyoto's temples too, so while it's not ideal, it can certainly be worse."

He seemed very calm and sure about it, and his demeanor seemed to comfort her brother. Sakura saw Touya's shoulders relax. She had not realized they were tense until they fell.

"Alright," said the teen. "Alright."

Her father's face twisted in sympathy. "We'll discuss Li Syaoran at a later time," he said to Eriol, "but for now I'd like to take my children home. There is a lot we've discussed today, and I don't want to make any more decisions tonight."

Eriol nodded. "Very well."

Fujitaka came to them and held his arms out to herd them out of the room. He pressed a kiss to the side of her brother's head.

" _Otou-san,_ " Touya whispered, sounding very young all of the sudden, for all that hours earlier, he had been ranting about going to college soon.

"It's all good," said Fujitaka, squeezing his nape before bending down and suddenly lifting Sakura up. "Oh, my little girl," and he pressed a kiss on Sakura's cheek too. Sakura hugged him back, suddenly feeling like she wanted to cry. She had no idea that she had needed her father to know everything until this happened. The relief made her want to weep.

Her father set her down. "Come, let's go home."

 


	28. A Step Forward, a Step Back

Being a new transfer student could be a nerve-wrecking experience, but it paled in comparison to being a new transfer-relative of the Li clan, and the first day was almost comically easy. He was introduced to the class, everyone said hi, and the teachers ignored him in favor of calling the other students so that they did not scare him too much on his first day.

The subjects that were taught in high school, now that he had Yue's perspective, were almost laughably irrelevant to everyday life, to the point where Yukito actually felt almost annoyed by having to learn them. Who exactly decided that all of this was necessary? It was a little grating on the nerves. Add to it, his foreign language this time around was Japanese, and the Japanese being taught at the school was quite horrid.

Yukito could tell that he was in for quite a year.

Yang Bihe's second child, a daughter, was in the same classes as Yukito. She was one of those teenagers who treated her body a little like a sketchpad. She wore gauche makeup, gaudy clothes, and dyed her waist-length hair multiple neon colors that she apparently did herself. As with many cases of dyed hair, particularly self-dyed, it did not hold up to close examination. Wherever she moved, she would leave strands of frizzy, flashing hair; on the tables, on the floor, over the chair, by the windowsill. Half of it was done up into a bun, like in costume dramas, but it was a tiny knot, done without finesse. Her nails also dazzled, almost glowing, and she wore cheap, giant, plastic jewelry on her fingers, wrists, and from her ears. She had a good figure, but the clothes she chose were two sizes too small and the squeezing effect made her look more plump than she actually was. Yukito was a little baffled by this; of all the types of personalities he had prepared himself to face in the offspring of such a sorcerer, this was not it.

Like others in the class, she was curious about the foreigner. Yukito was a handsome enough specimen; many students in Tomoeda gravitated toward Touya for obvious reasons, but on his own, Yukito had his share of admirers, and it was no different in Hong Kong. Because he was on a mission, he allowed this walking canvas to sit next to him.

"I'm Yang Liming," she introduced herself while twirling a finger around a clump of long hair. "You are Yutsing Syutou? How do you say that in Japanese?"

He told her.

"Tsekashilo," she attempted, and Yukito did not bother to correct her. "That's a cool name. What made you come to Hong Kong?"

"My whole family moved here."

"Oh," she stated, as if this were somehow unusual. "New job?"

He smiled.

"Must be different, compared to Japan."

"That's not a bad thing." He did not deny this.

"Do you miss it?"

He shrugged. "Yes and no."

"Well, maybe someday you'll go back."

"…Maybe."

"So," she went on, "what are you doing this weekend?"

"I have no plans."

"If you're not busy you can hang out with me and my friends," she offered. "What do you say?"

Yukito wanted to laugh. He thought this would be harder. "I'm in."

"Great! We're still figuring out where to go, but I'll let you know once we do. Where do you live?"

Yukito chose to give the general area rather than any specific address that pointed to the Li clan.

"Hm, that's not far. We can come pick you up!"

_That's not a good thing._

"Sure," Yukito nodded for the time being. He will figure out a way to meet with them without revealing the Li territory.

Kero was just as flummoxed. He expressed this during lunch.

" _Kami-sama_ , who would have thought, guy that pulls one over a scared dad and his wife produces a kid like  _that_. I mean what is she trying to dress as? Some kind of demon witch?"

"A Clow Card?"

Kero snorted. "Clow Cards at least color-match."

Yukito chuckled. He had to give him that.

Yukito got a chance to know some of the male classmates in the afternoon, where they proceeded to not-so-subtly try to warn him away from Yang Liming. Yukito listened to them awkwardly and mused that he was starting to understand Syaoran's uncouth manner in the beginning; here Yukito was, with the primary goal of getting to Yang Liming, and he was getting impatient with having to deal with the sidelines. A ten-year-old on a mission to capture the Clow Cards would fare even worse.

 _He really just wanted to get the job done and go home,_ he realized.  _He wasn't in Tomoeda to make friends._ It was only once he realized that he was in for a long haul, and possibly warmed up to his classmates there, that Syaoran had relaxed his stance.

"I mean she is  _always_ like that," said one boy, as if people who looked like Yang Liming usually never do. "And last year, there was this semi-formal, she showed up in this  _hanfu_ with  _polka dots_ on the top, and big floral patterns on the bottom, and green and red stripes."

"Christmas," said another.

"I mean she's pretty, I guess," said the first, shrugging. "I can even dig the hair. Sort of."

"She really wants a boyfriend," said a third, "which makes me feel sorry for her, but good grief…who could handle someone like  _her_ _?_ "

It was a mean comment, typical of inconsiderate teenagers, but Yukito had to wonder just what kind of person  _would_ be a good match for the character that was Yang Liming. He could not picture it.

Ultimately, though, when the time came to go home, neither Yukito nor Kero were particularly enthusiastic. This was validated when they arrived to find two clansmen walking quickly through the courtyard—so fast that they ran into Yukito.

" _Ai!_ " one exclaimed, before narrowing his eyes at Yukito. "Who are you?"

Yukito narrowed his eyes in return. "Who wants to know?"

The second clansman studied him from next to his partner. He was tall and slim, with medium-length hair that pooled just past his shoulders.

"This is that Jap," he told the first. "You know Li Yelan's brat that came back from those islands."

"Huh," said the first. "He looks quite delicate, for a boy."

From inside the backpack, Kero, who had been silent and still, started to gather his magic. It was subtle, and the only reason Yukito knew was because Yue could sense his fellow guardian's rage.

"All sorts, over there," said the second, approaching Yukito. He was taller than Touya, Yukito noted uncomfortably.

Then a strike of magic knocked Yukito to the ground before he even knew what happened. He landed on his side, so he did not crush Kero, but he heard the soft  _umph_ that was covered up by the thud from his own body. Then another spell blasted through his bones.

He knew nothing but pain for a small eternity, but it ended abruptly. Over him, Syaoran's body sailed like a bird. The boy struck out with his staff and Yukito heard something like the snapping of celery. Blood burst, splattering the ground.

Kero then loomed over Yukito, in his full form, hackles raised. Yukito blinked. Everything was blurred. He felt like his very vitality had been sucked out of him.

Ahead, Syaoran had engaged the first clansman. The boy said not a word, striking without question. Yukito had not seen the boy practicing, and from all accounts he had not practiced under Hiiragizawa's care. He made up for it with sheer viciousness, though, and the staff, too, seemed to be a living thing. The first clansman stumbled back, and Syaoran planted his feet, staff held in front.

Yukito took a deep breath, and then transformed.

Kerberus moved off. When Yue unveiled his wings, Syaoran was talking.

"I haven't used my cards," he said. "You don't want to see what happens when I do."

His staff was glowing. On the ground, the second clansman was cradling his arm.

"Brat!" said the first. "One year with those Japs and this is what you get!"

 _So we can add racism to their many virtues,_ Yue thought belatedly. Good thing Touya gave no indication of visiting anytime soon.

The boy did not outwardly react, but from the bond Yue sensed a pang of sharp, deep hurt. He could almost sense Syaoran's resolve falter.

"I ought to teach this worthless spawn a lesson!" The first one cried. "Should have killed him as soon as he was born!"

Yue expected Syaoran to block the spell, but the child stood there, frozen, and Kerberus actually acted before Yue did, tossing up a barrier. The spell bounced off harmlessly, though Syaoran's stance wavered.

The two men seemed to realize the guardians' presence for the first time.

"What on earth?" the second one exclaimed.

Kerberus growled, making sure to show his sharp teeth. Yue moved in front of the boy, who was still frozen. Through the bond, he could tell Syaoran was cracking badly.

The two clansmen studied the guardians as they moved to protect their master. During the pause, other clan members arrived; they had sensed spells being cast.

"What is all this?" one sorceress demanded.

"What happened here?"

"What are the Clow guardians doing?"

Syaoran seemed to come out of his stupor. "My dear uncles attacked my guardians."

"They attacked first!"

" _Fangpi!_ " the boy spat, practically frothing at the mouth. "They were in their false forms when I arrived, how were they supposed to attack you two fancy pants? Huh?"

"Silence!" The first sorceress glared at Syaoran. "Watch your tongue around your elders!"

There was a swell of anger from Syaoran, so potent that Yue nearly went blind. Then a vague, yet profound pain in his gut, potently enervating, so that he thought his own legs might collapse. He looked at Syaoran to make sure the youngster was alright, but dark blood oozed out of Syaoran's right nostril, then his left. The boy's skin bleached pale right before his eyes. His face took on an almost serene expression, muscles lax, eyes half-lidded.

Then Syaoran's body toppled backwards, his head hitting the ground with a sharp  _thud._

* * *

" _Xiaolang,_ " his mother sighed, "Why are you always causing trouble?"

Syaoran would almost describe his current state as serene. He felt too depleted to rise up to anything, much less anger. He was certain if someone had attacked his guardians again, he would not even be able to lift a finger. Could not even care. There was a gnawing pain in his stomach, very vague and unpleasant, but for the most part he just felt languid. A little drowsy. It was nice, because it meant he could not feel hurt by his mother's words.

 _If I'm so much trouble,_ he thought dispassionately,  _why not just let me bleed to death next time._

His aunt, who was his mother's cousin twice removed, had been the one to resuscitate him. Right now, her hands were still on his face, glowing with golden healing magic.

"Children are always too much work," she remarked, and then  _tsk'd._ "For all that, Japan was still a stressful episode, wasn't it?"

Syaoran did not reply. His aunt was not looking for one, and he would not know how to. Yes, Japan was stressful. Particularly towards the end, when he really wanted to come home, but for the most part he had loved Japan up to that point. If the Clow Cards could have remained free and inactive, and he and Sakura could just be ten-year-olds exploring Japan with Tomoeda Elementary, he would never have wanted to come back home. Not to this, anyway.

"This stinking boy will be the end of me," his mother complained. "Every time I think, surely nothing can go wrong  _this_ time, he comes up with a new way."

"Boys will be boys," said his aunt.

The thing was, his aunt, Aunt Lu, was actually one of the kinder ones. She did not care much for Syaoran, but she did not go out of her way to antagonize him. She thought he was bad luck and told her own children to avoid him so that he would not rub off on him, but when they did interact, she treated him like a normal kid. She had two sons of her own, and a pair of twin daughters. Sometimes she would tell Li Yelan that seeing Syaoran often touched her maternal side. He was pretty sure the only reason he was not being beaten right now was because she was more concerned about his health than about clan etiquettes.

But as she and his mother started one of their rants about how children were the bane of every woman's existence, Syaoran decided that he still did not like her. Knowing that his mother, after lamenting about how bothersome he was to raise, would still cut off her hand to save him, did not comfort him either. There was a difference, he mused, between loving someone because you chose to and loving someone because you had to. Li Yelan had always essentially stated that she would not love Syaoran if she had a choice. Not exactly inspiring.

Li Lu finally drew her hands away. "Child," she said, in a gentler voice, "rest for a bit, alright? Don't worry about anything else. Your mother and I will take care of things."

Syaoran really wanted to say "Whatever", but he nodded instead. He could not meet her eyes though. She might see through his profound disinterest.

Li Lu retreated from the room. His mother said other things to him. Syaoran grunted and nodded whenever there was a pause but not a single word actually penetrated his mind. At length, he realized his mother was leaving the room and he had no idea what she just said.

" _Syaoran-kun_ ," Yukito said softly, and he felt the teen take his hand. " _Gomen nasai._ I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

"It's not your fault." Syaoran drew his hand away.  _It's mine. It's always my fault._ A kind of dark shadow settled over his mind.  _I should just stop trying._

Bright, cheerful Yukito, gluttonous, silly Kero, stuck in Hong Kong with this clan because of him, attacked by his uncles, called names, tortured, and Syaoran, who was supposed to be their protector, their host, could not even defend them adequately, and went ahead and passed out himself.  _What utter rot._

"Hey, kid," Kero looked at him, ears low, "whatever happens, it's going to be OK, alright? We're here with you. We're not going to let them hurt you."

Syaoran inhaled. He suddenly thought about what happened earlier: seeing Yukito on the ground, and a fierce rage shooting through him—summoning the staff, taking the lightning card, trying to activate it, feeling the magic press, press—nothing. Trying again, still nothing. Finally leaping out with just the staff itself. Thank goodness that crystal moon on the staff was harder than bone. Syaoran had never wielded a more effective club.

The Clow Cards were supposed to help him with this.

_Why is everything always a disappointment?_

He said nothing. Kero and Yukito both fell silent, neither knowing what to say.

* * *

There was so much  _work._

" _Xiaolang_ ," his mother had clapped her hands in front of his face after dinner. Syaoran had been aware that she was speaking, but could not pay attention to what she was saying until that moment. _"I've enrolled you in school. You're very behind, so even though you won't start until Monday, you need to start catching up. There is some reading that you should try to do on your own, since you're not in classes anyway. Are you listening to me?"_

 _"Sorry, Mama,"_ he had bowed his head.

 _"You need to stop fooling around,"_ she had told Syaoran. _"Vacation is over. You are already behind; you need to start working. Life isn't all about play."_

He had ten whole chapters to read in Chinese and three whole chapters to read in English, two essays, a list of questions totally sixty two, and three hundred and twenty-five math questions. There were four history chapters for him to read, six biology chapters and five physical science chapters. He had to do all of this in three days.

Syaoran pushed it all aside. His stomach hurt, which was strange. It did not feel like he needed to use the bathroom, but it bothered him a great deal.

He rubbed his belly, disconsolate. He did not want to tell his mother this. She was already aggravated enough by him and his antics as it was. He thought about going to Yue or Kero with something that might be poop-related and wished there were a way to clamp down on the bond between him and his guardians so they did not have to know things they did not have to know.  _Ugh._ Maybe he should try using the bathroom.

The bathroom did not work, and the workload did not get any less. Syaoran tried to read, but nothing penetrated. Trying harder only gave him a headache.

_This is going to be a long weekend._

There was a knock on the door. Syaoran looked up when Yukito poked his head in. Kero fluttered over his shoulder.

"Hey," said the teen, "you're—doing homework already?"

_Well, define 'doing' homework._

Syaoran turned to face them. "Is something wrong?"

" _Iie."_ Yukito frowned. "I was just…going to tell you that I am going out this weekend."

"OK." Yukito probably hung out with Kinomoto Touya all the time in Hong Kong. It seemed rather appropriate that he should make friends quickly here.

Yukito gave him a long look. "Syaoran?" he murmured, sounding like he was asking a question he did not verbalize.

"I don't know," Kero stated. "I think maybe I should stay."

"I think so too…" Yukito came forward and crouched down in front of where Syaoran sat. "Hey, are you alright?"

Syaoran blinked, his mind flashing back to the first time he ever met Yukito. The teen had popped up with a smile and offered him a pork bun despite not even knowing him.

He use to be so mortified because he had such a crush on Yukito. Now he just felt a kind of detached listlessness. That seemed like a lifetime ago. It was hard to believe that was only a year ago, or that he had even been that same person.

"Syaoran?" Yukito's hand suddenly covered his. "Is your stomach bothering you?"

Syaoran looked down. He had been rubbing his belly.  _Huh._ His stomach still hurt.

To distract them, Syaoran asked, "Do you have money for this outing?"

"Money?"

Syaoran had some money left over from when he got a sum to take his guardians out around the city. He took out a wad of bills and handed them to Yukito, who looked at him with more and more trepidation.

_I want them to leave me alone._

"I have homework," he said quietly.

Yukito gave him a pointed look. "Syaoran, if you're not ready to go to school yet…I'll talk to your mother again."

"…Again?" Of course. Why would Li Yelan change her mind on her own?

"Look," Kero said seriously, "school is important, but it's not always the  _most_ important. Do you understand?"

Syaoran's stomach hurt. He rubbed at it as he turned away.

"I don't want to get behind," he stated.

"Syaoran."

"Is that enough money?" Syaoran asked. "Where are you going?"

Yukito said something, but Syaoran was not sure what he just said. He was thinking about money, and how Yukito had money back in Tomoeda. It is so wrong that Yukito has to ask  _Syaoran_ for money.

"OK," he said, when Yukito stopped talking. "Have fun."

The guardians left him alone after a moment, but Syaoran could not do his homework. He tried anyway, was pretty sure he got all the math questions wrong, and then curled up in bed without even taking a shower. Sleep came quickly, and was dreamless.

* * *

Yang Liming, Yukito learned, was actually very talented in magic. She surreptitiously used spells to augment the outing, which consisted of them going to the bay area to fly kites. It was a solid twenty-two degrees, which was perfect weather for a picnic. Yukito found himself with five other girls, though Yang Liming remained the most colorful, both figuratively and literally. One boy, a complete stereotype of a nerd, with glasses that shrank his beady eyes into microscopic proportions and acne all over his face, tried to impress the girls with tricks involving the diabolo, but none of them were particularly interested in it while Yukito was around.

He had to admit, the attention was amusing. He had never been the recipient of such intense interest. It was a nice distraction from the troubles in the clan, and for all that Yang Liming looked like some sort of freak to her peers, she actually seemed very normal in comparison. Of course, like Yukito, she was hiding herself. She was just not as good at hiding as he was. Yue was a creature of the night, and he performed best in the shadows, unseen until too late.

In fact, ignoring her tastes in attire and self-decoration, and the fact that she was the daughter of the shady Yang Bihe, Yang Liming would actually have been someone Yukito liked.  She was cheerful and considerate and full of fun. Quite childish in her curiosity and wonder, but by no means stupid. She whipcracked jokes with the best of them and Yukito found himself chuckling despite himself. It was almost difficult to remember why he wanted to befriend her in the first place.

They got some pork buns at a street vendor, which Yukito chose to share with her. The other girls were clearly jealous, but she was a bit oblivious, simply happy with the kindness in the gesture.

"Do you have pork buns in Japan?" she asked innocently. "I heard you guys eat mostly fish."

"We have a lot of fish," Yukito replied, "but we do have pork buns, yes."

"You know, your Chinese is very good," said one of the other girls.

"I spoke Chinese at home." It was the only believable way to explain it.

"Your mother is Chinese?" the nerd asked.

Yukito nodded.

"That's so cool," said another girl. "How did they meet?"

Yukito had to concoct a story about how his nonexistent parents met. He tried to keep it as simple as possible, aware that he might have to remember whatever he did reveal later.

"Awww!" Liming exclaimed. "They sound so cute. And then they had you!" And she reached up to pat him on the head.

It was nice, Yukito mused, to see some Chinese people who were not overt racists. He suddenly had another epiphany; if Syaoran had grown up with the Li clan, did he come to Tomoeda with such prejudices in mind? And then overcome them on his own?

 _He really hadn't meant to stay in Japan for as long as he did._ Audacious of the boy, but a ten—no, a nine-year-old could not have known better. Most people did not truly understand the nature of the Clow Cards, or the guardians that protected them. They were an old relic, out of sight and mind for many centuries. He was probably more wary of the people than the cards. For all he knew, his mother was sending him by himself to a land filled with people that, only fifty to sixty years ago, had raped and slaughtered those like him.

Seeing the easy-going teenagers around him, still laughing and talking about Japan—this time about the monkeys in the hot springs, and the best ways to get to Mount Fuji—gave Yukito some semblance of balance, but he felt a strong urge to go back right now and check on Syaoran. The boy had suddenly been behaving strangely lately; there was a look in his eyes that made Yue and Kero feel uneasy, though very little came through the bond. No sense of grief, or anger, or fear. Just a kind of dull static. It was like the lights have gone out.

A little like when Syaoran was first discharged from the hospital.

They had tried to get through to him, but Syaoran would respond appropriately, even normally, only to forget things later. The guardians were at a loss.

"You look deep in thought," Liming broke into his musings. Yukito blinked, and realized that the two of them were sitting alone together by the park bench; the others were trying the kite, and one of the girls had finally picked up the diabolo and was trying to keep it spinning to no avail.

"Sorry," he gave her a smile.

"Were you thinking of someone?"

"…Ah?"

"Did you leave a girl behind?" she asked, looking sympathetic.

"Oh, no." Yukito chuckled, though his mind did flash to Touya, that tight look on his face when he said to Yukito that he was glad Syaoran was getting the Clow Cards back—knowing full well everything this would mean.  _Well, he left first._ He did not allow himself to dwell on that.

"Well was it someone?" Liming pointed her index fingers at her temples and pretended to concentrate. "Mmmmmm…am I close?"

Yukito sighed. She seemed so nice. Surely a little information would not hurt.

"I have a cousin," he told her. "He…well, he's young. A kid. I only met him recently, when he visited Japan last year. He's like a little brother to me, and I adore him. But while in Japan…he got hurt. It was very bad. He spent weeks in the hospital and wasn't quite right even afterwards. His mother wants him to go back to school because he's been out for so long, but he's…he doesn't seem ready. He's still hurting."

"I'm sorry." She seemed genuine. "How old is he?"

"…" Yukito hesitated. Giving her the age could be all the clue she needed to be suspicious.

"Don't remember?" Liming scowled playfully at him. "How many cousins do you have?"

"A lot," Yukito replied. "I can't keep track of them, alright?"

"Well give me a ballpark! Is he seven? Nine? Eleven?"

"I don't know, maybe eleven?"

"OK. What exactly happened? Was it a car accident?"

Yukito sighed.

"No," Liming suddenly said. "It was a kidnapping."

 _…No._ She had retrocognition?  _Oh no, just how strong is she?_

But Liming was not so strong that she knew who she was talking to, and she was trying to hide her own identity too. "I mean…ugh, I don't know why I just said that."

Sensing an opportunity, Yukito said, slowly, while narrowing his eyes to appear suspicious, "Yes," he stated, "it was a kidnapping. By  _yakuza_. How did you know?"

" _Uh…_ wasn't there a news story?" Liming widened her eyes for effect. "I saw it, some Chinese transfer student was kidnapped and tortured by this crazy mafia group—that was  _your cousin?_ "

The news. Yukito had a faint impression of the police and the media; they had even used the police once to disrupt the Kikutake, but he had since dismissed their presence as unimportant, in light of everything. Later, when Syaoran finally returned home, his sisters and the rest of his family did not have any idea that this had taken place. It must be Li Yelan's doing, and her influence must have been limited to the Li clan.

"Yes," he said again, "but how did you know that? What made you think of  _that?_ "

"I-I-I don't know…" Liming looked back at him, dismayed. "I…sometimes I draw conclusions like that. I don't know. Girl stuff."

Yukito narrowed his eyes.

"Look, how do you think? It's not like I have some sort of  _magic_ _!_ "

It was interesting how the tables have turned to his favor. "I have seen things," he said gravely, "that make me think outside the box these days." He watched her carefully. "What those people did to my cousin—are not normal, human things."

Yang Liming looked clearly alarmed, but she remained silent. Yukito gave her another long look, before releasing her.

"At this point," he stated, partially a confession, "I'd welcome  _magic_ if it could take away his pain."

Yang Liming did not confess her part, of course, but he did not expect her to. There was a seed planted in her mind, and he could see it germinating as she looked away, contemplating the others who were still playing with the kite. After a moment, she joined them, and Yukito remained on the sidelines, aware that he had started something that he will have to monitor closely.

* * *

Syaoran's teachers were nowhere as strict as his mother, and did not expect him to catch up completely. Li Yelan had done him the generosity of informing the school that he had been ill. Considering he  _felt_ ill when he first arrived to school, this probably was very convincing.

"Some of you probably remember him," said the teacher when she introduced him to the class. Indeed, most of the faces were familiar, though there were a couple he did not recognize. Syaoran could remember the tall one; he had gotten fat. And the girl was as lanky as ever, and that boy had changed his glasses. He was directed to a chair, and someone asked him something, but he could not remember what it was nor what he said in response.

The teacher turned around and started the lesson. On the first day, she did not pick on him at all. Which was fine, because Syaoran could not remember a single thing from that day. His mind kept wandering. He kept thinking about having to go home. Do all that extra homework. Face his mother. Face the guardians. The Clow Cards that were not working for him. His relatives, who should not bother him but still do.  _Why are you always causing trouble? You're trouble. You're trouble. You're always creating problems…_ and he really did not want to go home.

Ironic. After all the tantrums and the begging and pleading and arguing, now that he had finally come home, it was to realize that he did not want to be here. But he had nowhere else to go. He certainly could not go back to Japan. There was no one there. Eriol—after Syaoran had made a point of leaving him, to go crawling back to him—he would rather melt into the ground.

His stomach hurt, and kept hurting all day. He skipped lunch and gave his portion to Kero, who refused it anyway. The sun guardian said something to him and Syaoran replied that he was just tired. Kero said something and Syaoran said he would eat it later. He did not. He came home, released Kero, and locked himself up in his room. He chose not to join the others for dinner, declaring that his stomach was bothering him. Yukito gave him a worried look and tried to ask what was wrong. Kero said something about how food was good for him. Syaoran could not remember what he said back, but he closed and locked the door, curled up in bed, napped without doing his homework. No dreams. He only roused when Shiefa knocked on the door to remind him to shower.

The rest of the week passed this way. He remembered the teacher pulling him aside. He had not completed any of his assignments. Syaoran had looked at her despondently while thinking, what was the point? Not like having good grades would make up for what he was. Other students said things to him. He probably just passed them whatever materials they needed; they had never been interested in him before anyway, and the feeling was mutual. Some things, at least, did not change.

At the end of the week, his mother called him to her office.

" _Xiaolang_ ," she said, in a voice that use to have Syaoran quaking in terror, "your teacher called me today and told me you haven't been doing your assignments."

Syaoran blinked, almost languidly, and did not say anything. He had a feeling this would happen.

"What do you have to say for yourself, boy?"

_Nothing. You always find a reason why they don't matter._

" _Xiaolang_ , I asked you a question."

"I don't have to answer!" he suddenly snapped right back.

Li Yelan's eyes narrowed, and the room chilled. "Is that so?" Her voice went quiet. "You're learning to talk back now. Your wings have hardened, have they? Do you no longer want to live under my roof?"

"No," he said flatly, because right now that was the honest truth, and then a well of anger bubbled out. "Are you going to throw me out? I don't  _want_ to live here. I wish I was never born! I wish you had aborted me! Why didn't you?!"

A strike of pain flared up the left side of his face. Syaoran found himself on the floor. For a moment, he had a strong sense of deja vu, and almost swooned with the sensation.  _Didn't this already happen?_

But…last time it was with Eriol. And Kaho had been there to pick Syaoran up. Walk him to the bathroom. Hold him. There was no one here this time. Only his mother, who just hit him, eyes shining so much that they were glowing.

Syaoran picked himself up. He was out of the room before realizing he had never been dismissed, but it was too late for that. In any case, his mother never called him back.

He saw himself to the bathroom. Washed his face. The skin was red, so he left it alone; the thought of it bruising later did not occur to him. He took himself to his room. Locked the door.

" _Ei,_ kid?"

Oh. He forgot that Kero was with him. Syaoran unlocked the door. Opened it for Kero to fly out. The guardian just sat on top of his backpack, looking stricken.

"Syaoran," Kero said again.

Syaoran looked at him. He did not want to talk to him. Or to anyone. If Kero was not going to leave the room, then he will.  _Didn't Mama say I can't live under her roof now?_ Something something. He could go out. Get lost, maybe. No one will miss him.

He stepped out, but moments later, Kero alighted on his shoulder.  _Oh. OK._ So Kero was going to come with him, then. That was fine. Kero was surprisingly unobtrusive, lately. He supposed the guardian did use to go to school with Sakura. Before Syaoran stole the guardians from her. He should figure out what to do about that. Maybe he should tell them that the cards were refusing to work for him.

The day was very chilly. It was the cold that woke Syaoran out of his stupor. He stood in front of the house and realized he had no idea where he was going.

Suddenly, arms were circling him, and his mother's warmth enveloped him from behind.

" _Zaizai_ ," his mother's voice was very close, "child, come inside. No more of this."

Her voice was very gentle, and the surprise of it was what made Syaoran obey. She kept her arms around him as she pulled him back to the warmth of the house. She shut the door, and then wrapped Syaoran in a proper hug.

"No more of this," she said quietly, sounding very calm, but there was a methodical character to her motions as she helped Syaoran take off his shoes, his jacket. "Come, baby. Come.  _Mama_ is sorry.  _Mama_ is wrong. Let me look at you." She touched his cheek, and it was tender—the pain was a small shock. "Does that hurt? Let me put some ice on it."

Kero floated off, watching them with a frown as Li Yelan took care of him, putting ice and smoothing out his hair.

"Is school really that bad?" she asked softly.

Syaoran looked down. It was not school. School was…school. It was just everything in general. Or it was him.

" _Xiaolang_ ," Yelan sighed. She took the ice off and then pulled Syaoran to her again. The smell of her, the warmth, finally penetrated the haze in his mind. It was moments like these when he felt like his mother actually loved him, instead of going through the motions, and it hurt, worse than any names he was called, worse than any slap. He choked and the tears seemed to squirt out of his eyes like they were faucets.

" _Mama…_ " he sobbed.

His mother did not say anything, only squeezing him tighter, and Syaoran succumbed, burying his face in her shoulder and letting the hurt take him.

 


	29. A Different Sort of Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So according to the wikia page, if you do the calculations, Fujitaka is 2 years older than Nadeshiko; she died at age 27 when Touya was 10 and Sakura was 3, and seven years later in the series Fujitaka was listed as being 36 years old. What? How was he a high school teacher already when she was sixteen? I thought you'd need at least a bachelor's degree even in Japan to teach stuff in high school! Unless he skipped grades but that would mean he went to college when he was fourteen—why wouldn't CCS mention he was a child prodigy? And now he's a professor?? I am so confused.

Having her father know everything was fantastic. Sakura felt like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Fujitaka seemed a little mortified once he learned precisely what his daughter had been up to for the past year, but after recounting the capture of each card, and then demonstrating a few spells (mostly wind, because those were still the easiest spells for her), at the end of it all, he looked at Sakura like she was a miracle, and Sakura could not help but feel that same wonder and awe that was possessing magic for the first time.

Because magic was  _brilliant_ , and for a while Sakura had not thought so. But the truth was, it was the people who were horrible, never magic. She could do amazing things, and seeing the surprise and delight on her father's face made her realize that again.

If she got strong enough, she can even help Syaoran, defend him against those who try to hurt him.

Fujitaka encouraged her to find what else she could do with her magic, and Sakura realized there was actually quite a lot, even without the cards. Unlike Touya, he was not at all alarmed when she altered her appearance, and did not seem worried about attracting attention. He borrowed some books from Hiiragizawa and Sakura found that she actually enjoyed reading them. Many were written by Clow Reed himself, written entirely in  _kanji_ , which made it a little difficult, but he wrote well and the books read well. They talked about the principles of magic and how it was applied to spells, and all of the sudden the reason why some spells were easier than others, why some spells clashed with others, why moon magic and sun magic generally did not get along, made so much  _sense._

"Did you know that wind and wood actually amplify each other?" she chattered to Tomoyo when the girl visited. "I had noticed that they seemed very similar when I used the cards, but I didn't get why. It's because they  _are_ actually the same. The Chinese elements are divided into five: fire, water, earth, metal, and  _wood._ Wood produces air. Wood produces oxygen! So when you use wood and wind spells, they actually double up on each other! And he also talks about mind-control spells, how they generally don't work as well as people think they should, because you need to steer the person toward something they already want to do."

"He teaches mind control spells?" Tomoyo asked in alarm.

"Well, not really. Not the kind you're probably thinking about. He says most spells don't really accomplish much, and people do what they were going to do anyway. You can kind of lower their judgment a little bit—but then you're just confusing them." Sakura shrugged. "He had a few spells but he also warns that the people you use them on might identify that you did it, so it's really just not a good idea, even if you're an evil monster."

Tomoyo laughed at this. "I'm glad you're enjoying it." She looked at Sakura with a soft smile. "You've been sad lately. It's good to see you happy again."

She supposed she  _had_ been sad. Between  _Ma-ou_ and the pressure everyone was under, it was hard to be happy. Her brother had been stressed, Hiiragizawa had been stressed, and Sakura had been stressed. Everyone was angry with each other, everyone was worried, and Sakura had wanted to hide away and wait for the storm to blow over. She was surprised by how different everything felt now that her father was in the know. It was as if he was the one vital element they had been missing all this time, and now that he was part of this, everything was going to be just fine.

School had entered exam season. On Tuesday, Sakura headed out with the other girls to study together. In good spirits, Chiharu started turning it into a slumber party. Sakura wanted to join, but a call home had her father refuting the idea.

 _"The demon attacked you in your dreams,"_ he reminded her gently.

That broke through the illusion. She forgot. Everything was  _not_ alright. There was a demon after her, and Hiiragizawa's wards were what protected her at night. She could not risk spending a night outside.

"Seriously?" Naoko exclaimed. "Why does he care all of the sudden? Your father never said you couldn't sleep over before!"

"Well he's always away," Sakura pointed out. "He's around more now and he wants to spend time with me…honestly I want to spend time with him too." That made the situation a little better, even if she was still sad to leave the other girls.

Fujitaka gave Sakura a warm hug when she came home. "I know you're disappointed, sweetheart."

"I'm alright." She kind of was, after that hug.

"I was looking at the wards in your room," Fujitaka admitted. "I honestly don't understand it, but I wonder if there's a way to make them portable? Probably not, but it's worth looking into. We can ask Eriol."

It was not a bad evening, ultimately. Fujitaka had cooked for his children, and then they watched some episode from a bad television series. Sakura curled up next to her father while Touya sat on the other side, munching on roasted seaweed.

"Hey  _kaijuu,_ " her brother pointed during a scene where two girls were discussing the cute guy they met, "grab me some water, will you?"

She was so comfortable though. "Grab yourself some water."

"You're closer to the kitchen!"

"Sakura," Fujitaka nudged her.

Groaning internally, Sakura reluctantly went to the kitchen. While pouring the water, she had an evil idea.

Using a surreptitious amount of wind magic, she levitated the cup in front of her and followed after until she got to the door. Touya and Fujitaka were both fixated on the screen. She carefully floated the cup on top of Touya's head and tipped it slowly over.

Touya did not react at first when the drops hit his hair, but when he realized what was happening, he leaped up, spilling roasted seaweed everywhere.

" _Gyah!"_ he yelled, stumbling away.

Sakura lost her control over the cup as she bent over in laughter.

" _Kami-sama!_ Seriously?" Touya shook out his arms, looking over his shirt to see how wet he was. He was mostly wet at the back, which he learned when he twisted his head around to investigate. "Ugh! You brat!"

Sakura made a face at him, still giggling.

"I think you should start learning magic, Touya," Fujitaka said mildly.

* * *

_Bang._ "Ow."

Kaho looked over from folding the laundry. "Funny bone?"

"Not funny," Eriol griped, rubbing said limb. Ever since releasing the inhibitions on his physical age, the growth spurts had tried to kill him at every turn. From nearly breaking his neck while going down the stairs, to knocking his elbows and knees and toes on every doorframe in the house, the last few days had been something of a nightmare.

Kaho chuckled. "You could just stay little forever. I think I quite enjoy towering over you."

Eriol rolled his eyes. "I don't mind that as much," he was use to it, actually, "but I'm not letting Syaoran tower over me without a fight."

She burst out laughing. "I suppose there's that."

"The price is a bit much though," Eriol lifted his arm to look at it. He had a number of bruises already that he did not remember getting. "This is one thing I'd rather skip."

"If you morph into your full adult form, there would be even more problems."

That was true, but Eriol did not choose to dignify that with an answer.

"What are you doing laundry for?" he asked instead. It was a Thursday; usually Kaho did not do laundry until the weekend.

"We're headed to Kyoto tomorrow," said Kaho, "and this time I booked a room at the hotel there."

 _Oh._ "Daidouji going along?"

"You couldn't keep that girl away if you tried."

Eriol chuckled. "That's true." He paused, worried again. "I hope Fujitaka and Touya are staying out of it."

Having Fujitaka on board made a lot of things much easier—though Fujitaka was the incarnation of the same man, he still possessed a different mind, with different experiences and different choices. Having him around was like having a sounding board; he could not contribute very much, but his agreement made Eriol feel validated in a way that even Kaho could not quite achieve, simply because all the decisions were regarding his children, and Fujitaka loved them far more than Kaho would. It was simply the nature of things. But Fujitaka having a mind of his own also posed certain problems; the fact that he possessed no memories of Clow Reed and could not comprehend the gravity of certain dangers, like the  _kitsune_ and their potential for jealousy, made him very likely to throw himself into danger, particularly where his children were involved.

"Last I heard," Kaho informed him, "they're also going to Kyoto, but they're not meeting with Kikuchi. I suspect Fujitaka is behaving himself because he wants Touya to remain out of danger, but they wanted to be close by in case something happens."

Probably a bit much to expect both of them to leave Sakura entirely in Kaho's hands.

"I suppose," Eriol sighed. "Touya has a sense for when his sister is in danger. That could be helpful." He was not sure how, but it would not be the first time he was surprised.

"Someday you and I should go," Kaho said mildly. "Kyoto is a beautiful city, and I think you would feel rather nostalgic."

Eriol looked at her. "Maybe when I stop tripping over things."

Kaho covered her mouth, her eyes curving in mirth. "I would like that, actually. We can go on a proper date, without people giving us looks."

 _A proper date._ Eriol had never actually taken Kaho out before. He had invited her over, dined with her, researched with her…but he had never taken her out in society as anything other than an acquaintance.

She had sacrificed a great deal for Eriol's own plans.

"We can get married in Wiltshire," he said, in a moment of tenderness, "and then have our honeymoon in Kyoto."

Kaho froze.

_Did you think I wasn't going to ask?_

But after a moment, Kaho went on doing the laundry, and remained conspicuously silent.

 _I've disturbed her,_ Eriol realized, and felt an intense spike of dread.  _Why is she disturbed? Did she not have the same plans? The same hopes?_

Kaho turned. "I'm going to put these away." She then fled from him as quickly as she could without running. Eriol stared after her and tried to keep himself together.

One of his many failings, just as Clow's, was his propensity to assume he understood how others thought and felt. He was overconfident in Kaho's feelings for him, too certain that she wanted the same things he did. If he saw past his own arrogance, he would probably have made better choices than he did.

Why  _would_ Kaho want to marry Eriol? He had all this baggage. He was also inherently selfish; he was so focused on his own agendas and had no problems looping others into his plots. Sweet, gentle Kaho had nothing to do with Clow, should have been kept apart from his legacies, but he used her anyway to funnel Sakura toward the Final Judgment. Then he drew Syaoran into their home and had no issue making Kaho take care of him. Now she is escorting Sakura to the  _kitsune_. Everything had been about Eriol, and of course Kaho was the type of person who would help whenever she could, but Eriol had never taken care of Kaho's needs. Had not expected her to have any, or if she did, none of them were as important. One could tolerate many faults from a friend, even a boyfriend, but that did not mean she would want to marry someone like him. Besides, with his memories of Clow, he did not exactly have a great track record; Clow's wife died when she was young, mainly because Clow did not take proper care of her. Kaho would not ignore that, no matter how forgiving she was. And Eriol had always told her that there were sides to him he did not want to show her. He had always assumed that she dismissed this because she always insisted she could handle it, but perhaps these warnings registered with her more than he had thought.

Probably best, then, that she retreat on her own. It would be one thing that Kaho would have done for her own sake, ever since they met.

 _It's better this way,_ he told himself.

It did not feel very comforting.

* * *

 Sakura baked a cake for Kikuchi, who thought this was very charming.

"I can see why Clow Reed liked you," she stated. "You're not fazed at all by me, are you?"

It seemed like a very transparent way to woo oneself into another's good graces, but it did work. Kikuchi was softer this time around. Part of it was probably also because Sakura was less frightened of what she must learn, and thus a more eager student. The _kitsune_ had also been studying which creatures would be good for Sakura to switch into; turning into another person, she informed everyone, was easier on a pure technical level, but it was mentally challenging because humans make a great deal out of their individuality.

"They also notice details with each other more," she pointed out. "If you see a fox, you might not realize what distinguishes it from other foxes; it does not matter much if the eyes are a touch too narrow or the fur is a shade too pale. But a person—such mistakes would be very glaring."

She had selected the sika deer, which Sakura was actually very excited about. To do this properly, Kikuchi brought Sakura to the Sika temple.

"First transformation is always the hardest," she told the group as they rode the bus there. "It depends on your affinity. Some creatures you'll just take to more easily than others. Others, you won't get right no matter how hard you try; particularly when you pose as a deity. That generally never worked, though I was able to avoid notice for long enough to suit my purposes."

 _"Hoeee!_  A _deity???_ "

"What do you think  _kitsune_ do?" Kikuchi laughed. "There's a saying: the fox loves trouble. Life's no fun without a little danger. I had my run of the Celestial Gardens quite a few times back in the day. May do so again at some point. Hm…" she tapped her bottom lip, pondering.

Sakura was expecting some kind of to-do when they actually reached the temple, but all the temple hands just ignored Kikuchi, grouping her with the other tourists. They wandered to the back where some sika deer were roaming. They were lovely creatures, with a reddish-brown pelt dotted with white spots. Plum-blossom deer, they were called, for the flowers in their hide.

"Why sika deer?" Tomoyo asked.

"It fits,  _iie?_ "

"It does," the dark-haired girl smiled, "but I didn't think you would necessarily choose that one."

"Well, I was torn between that and a bunny." Kikuchi looked at Sakura. "Honestly, I'm still torn, but she can do both, eventually, and see which one she prefers."

Tomoyo was starting to gush over the idea, so Sakura quickly tried to distract her. "I think I like to start off with a sika."

"It's probably more of a challenge," Kikuchi warned. "You wouldn't be use to walking, among other things. But go ahead and touch one. Use your aura to get to know it."

"How do I do that?" Sakura wondered.

It was Kaho who answered by demonstrating, reaching out to touch Sakura lightly with her aura. It was like sensing someone, except this felt more solid, more intimate. Sakura was surprised.

"I've never tried doing that with nonmagicals," Kaho admitted to Kikuchi.

"It probably matters less for you," said the  _kitsune._ "Go on. They're skittish but if you reach out with your aura first, they might feel more at ease."

They  _were_ skittish, and reaching out with her aura did not make them feel more at ease. Still, the connection gave her a subtle insight into what they were. Sakura froze on the field, trying to make sense of the new feeling, this alien sense of  _self_. There was something strangely familiar about it. The smell of pine, plums, jasmine. The sun in the sky.  _The forest sings. Birds are sending messages. An old man, reaching out to her._

_A bridge made of thousands of iridescent stars._

" _Sakura-chan!_ "

Sakura blinked. Tomoyo was holding her hand.

" _Daijoubu desu ka?_ You weren't responding…"

"She had a flashback," Kikuchi gently nudged Tomoyo out of the way. "Looks like the sika deer was more appropriate than I thought."

"I was…" Sakura blinked, and suddenly felt very lightheaded. " _Hoeeeeee…_ "

"Come," said Kaho. "Let's sit you down."

* * *

"…going on and on about the documentary. I told  _Harada-san_ , this isn't going to go anywhere. He wouldn't listen. I shudder to think how this thing would turn out."

"So they're going to bring a camera crew with them on the expedition?"

"That was the plan. Normally these broadcasting companies are a bit more judicious about which expeditions to follow. We tend to bring our own camera crew—for liability reasons, if nothing else. Harada thinks he'll find something there, and you can't insist that he won't without seeming like a killjoy." Fujitaka shrugged as he chewed on some bubbles. He looked mournfully at the tea. "I'm going to get diabetes."

"Everyone in the world is going to get diabetes."

Fujitaka shrugged again. "So anyway, in other news, Oki is on steroids,  _again_ , for his what's it's disease."

"Harada's disease?" Touya raised his eyebrows.

"Something like. Von someone Harada, or something. He's already got the white eyelashes; it's really bizarre."

"No way! So is he turning into an albino?"

" _Iie._ That's apparently something else altogether. Can't treat that with steroids, anyway. He's already got this moonface. I feel really bad for him." Fujitaka shook his head. "Stuff like that makes you wonder. Say, do you suppose magic can cure things like that?"

"What, cure autoimmune disease?"

"Or cancer."

"I don't know?" Touya was floored by this. "I've never thought of that before."

"That's because you're young," his father replied infuriatingly. "You don't think about getting sick."

"Ugh!" Touya hated it when older people brought things up like that. It made young people seem so…inconsiderate. "Well, I was more concerned about…other stuff."

"I suppose. Like jumping higher."

Touya sucked up bubbles from his bubble tea, sulking.

Fujitaka laughed. "That's normal. And, you're mostly surrounded by kids your own age—it makes it hard to see everything from a more worldly point of view. I remember when I was in college, it was three separate communities: the students, the faculty, and everything beyond. The stuff outside didn't matter much to us. The faculty—only in terms of grades. For the most part, it was other students; these eighteen-to-twenty-year-olds. You can't help but live in a bubble; that's what society has herded you into. Then you go out into the real world and all of the sudden…college just seems so small. And all the other troubles…like the economy, healthcare, global warming, this and that…it feels so much closer to you. Once, they were other people's problem. Now you are likely part of the problem. It's a big shift in perspective."

Touya peered up at his father. "Did you ever think  _Oka-san_ was……"

"Hm?"

"Well," Touya shrugged, "everyone gave you a hard time because she was young."

Fujitaka chewed on his bubbles a little more deliberately at this. "She was," he admitted. "Sometimes when I think back, I notice that she really was a child. Compared to my current coworkers, in any case, there were things she was just not mature enough to do. She always needed someone to take care of her; she loved taking care of others and had a big heart, but she was very dependent on others taking care of her in return. But I knew this, even back then. A few years seems like a large gap at your age, but it really wasn't a lot in the grand scheme of things. The two of us related well. Besides," he laughed a little at himself, "I couldn't risk her falling for someone else."

" _Tch._  She wouldn't have fallen in love with anyone else."

Fujitaka laughed outright. "You say that now." He pointed at his son. "I'll have you know: there were a lot of contenders, and they put up a good fight. You didn't think I was her first date, did you? Someone like your mother?"

"Right," Touya insisted, "but she obviously didn't choose them. She said you were the only person she went on a second date with."

"That's true." It figured that his father knew. "For better or worse. But…sometimes I wondered if she really was too young. She gave birth to you when she was seventeen. Now I look at all these articles condemning teenage pregnancies and I think to myself…" it was the first time Touya witnessed his father allow himself to look unhappy about something related to his mother. "They say that there are health risks and this and that and I wonder sometimes if that was why she left so early. Only twenty-seven.  _Kami-sama._ "

Touya regretted bringing up the topic, but his father seemed to want to talk about it anyway.

"She didn't go to college," he sighed. "Then again, a lot of women back then didn't, but I think if she did, she would have been happier. She was always self-conscious about her intelligence. She wasn't stupid, but she didn't have a great fund of knowledge. The fact that she didn't go to college; your grandparents blamed me for that too. They didn't understand why I had to marry her instead of just date her like a regular person."

Touya chuckled. "Like you were a regular person."

Fujitaka smiled wistfully, eyes distant. "And then to have a child so soon…that locked it down quite solidly. They were pushing for an annulment up till that point."

Touya wilted.  _Talk about awkward._

"When you are… _with_  someone—"

_Oh **kami—**_

"—you are responsible for them," his father looked at Touya with a grave expression. "There's a lot that can happen. They can get pregnant. They can get sick. You can get sick. Teenagers, particularly boys, think it's no big deal. They believe girls have to carry the consequences, they're the ones things happen to, it's their business. It's a bigger deal than young people give it credit for, and in truth it's a burden you carry without even knowing, even if you are male. And you have to live with it, sometimes for the rest of your life."

Touya tried to wash away the bile rising in his mouth with more bubble tea; it was starting to get very diluted from the ice.  _Did I kill Oka-san?_ The thought had never occurred to him; she had died when he was ten and Sakura was three; neither of them had been young enough to have anything to do with her illness. Or so he had thought.

"People also don't always tell the truth about their past," Fujitaka warned. "You are going to college soon—"

 _Oh great._ It figured that his father would choose  _now_ of all times to start talking about safe sex. Of course, Touya should have seen it coming, considering his father had started talking about sex in the first place, but  _good grief,_ they were in Kyoto having bubble tea and talking about his moon-faced colleague on steroids—could his father maybe pick another time to talk about this?

"—I don't know what kinds of folks you'll meet—"

" _Otou-san…_ " Touya groaned.

Fujitaka relented, but had to add. "If I had a choice, and I suspect if she had a choice, we would have waited," he told Touya. "All things considered, I think she would have preferred things the way they are. All the studies pointed to this being inevitable." 'This', Touya knew, meant her illness. "I'd rather have you and Sakura, just the way you are. But after seeing what I've seen, I've found that it doesn't hurt to wait. Even if she were to die at around the same time and we spend less time together, if I could go back and talk to myself, I would have waited. Let her live as her own person for a little more, instead of binding herself to me. Perhaps she would go to college, explore the world, before coming back to me, and then our time together would have been different. We wouldn't have had the shadow of your grandparents blaming us for our childhood idiocy; it would have been a decision made by wiser adults, for wiser reasons, and I think both of us would have been even happier for it, despite the shorter time. Likely, though, it wouldn't have been so short at all; we would both have grown as individuals apart from each other, and might have been better at picking things up early enough. Contrary to what television shows and movies tell you, in real life, people rarely regret  _not_ pursuing a romantic interest. In fiction, people pine and recollect and wallow, but in real life, what people regret is not working hard enough in school, getting the wrong degree, not fighting for a good job opportunity, not being there for their kid. When it's about pursuing romantic interests, people usually regret being too  _hasty_ , and then ending up wasting their time because the person wasn't right for them after all. Whoever is meant for you, truly yours, would wait for you until  _you_ are ready. If they don't, then they're not really yours. And there really is no reason to waste time and resources for someone who isn't yours. Plus, most of the time, when you find that right someone, it's very easy and natural." He leaned back with a smile that looked particularly wry. "Sometimes they literally fall into your lap."

* * *

"Feeling better?" Kikuchi handed Sakura a bottle of juice.

"What happened?" Sakura asked, accepting it as she slid back a little on the bench. "I saw…visions. Was that supposed to happen?"

"You probably remembered something," said the  _kitsune._ "It can happen."

"Remember something?" Tomoyo asked.

"From a past life," said Kikuchi. "You might have been a deer. Who knows? How do you feel now?"

"Better," Sakura uncapped the bottle and drank it in deep gulps. The juice was very refreshing. "That was very strange."

"What did you see?"

Sakura was not sure what she saw. "Some disjointed images," she admitted, and told the _geiko_ about the old man, the star bridge, the forest with the birds.

"A bridge of stars," said Kikuchi, rubbing her chin. "Sounds like you were a cervine messenger."

"Messenger?"

"They deliver messages between the deities. Usually they are white, though they can be any color. Sometimes they appear in the mortal realm, as a message from the deities to man. They can take on other forms, but their natural form is that of some kind of deer. They're supposed to be benevolent beings, and often accompany celestials. I have never come across any myself." Kikuchi tilted her head. "Would be interesting if you had been one. Would explain a lot."

" _Hoeeeeee!_ "

 "Sakura use to be a  _deer_ spirit?" Tomoyo was loving the idea.

The  _kitsune_ laughed. "No big deal if you were or you weren't. It has no real bearing on what you are now, other than that you might have more affinity to its form than whatever you haven't been." She put her hands on her hips. "You ready to give it a try? Or do you need another minute?"

Sakura needed another minute, but she decided she did not want to spend that minute thinking too deeply on this. This was too overwhelming. "I think I'm going to give it a go."

_Can't be that much different from changing my eye color, can it?_

* * *

_"How is this possible?"_

_"We have to locate it! Imagine how much worse it would be if a demon king gets hold of it?"_

_The court was in uproar, with some shouting, some murmuring to each other, leaning to the side to whisper in tilted ears. The High Lord of the Sky stood, the only one who was absolutely silent; he was the one who delivered the news._

_Recently, a demon had risen from the abyss, with powers unlike any have ever seen. It was initially a lesser demon, one that ate ghosts and hardly bothered anyone, but recently it had started eating other things. It worked its way up, demolishing spirit realm after spirit realm, before it all culminated several years ago when it ate a dragon prince. Far from being a beastly creature, it was actually a cunning, intelligent spirit, one that proved to be very difficult to take down, despite the military minds in the divine court. One thing that proved to be a major hindrance was its mastery of a form of primordial magic, very old and very powerful. How it came to possess this power, no one really knows._

_According to the High Lord, however, there was more to this primordial magic than just brute strength."_

_Next to her, a goddess, covered in jewels, turned and said to her in a low voice, '"They will need to look into this."_

_Her mistress tapped her on the shoulder. "Go to the Peach Blossom Island. Tell the Keeper that I call upon the debt owed to me. Come back with what he gives you."_

_She bowed her head. "I will do so, Mistress."_

_The goddess raised her hand to stroke her cheek. "My dear girl," she said fondly, "I shall miss you when you go. Once you return, you will be quite different."_

_"I am not leaving yet," she pointed out. Her mistress was not referring to her trip to Peach Blossom Island._

_"It still seems soon enough," the goddess sighed. "Go, now. I will remain at court. If anything else should happen, Shika, I will let you know."_

_She dove through the stars to the island of peach blossoms where the Keeper, an elderly-looking deity with a large, bulging forehead and an omnipresent grin, came hobbling out of a pavilion on his walking stick; he did not need it, but he liked using it, claiming it helped his back. Around them, the peach blossoms bloomed; they bloomed year round for a hundred years, at the end of which they would bear fruit for about two weeks, and then bear new flowers for another century. It had been about sixty years since the last fruit harvest. The Keeper, of course, watched over and tended to them._

_"Welcome, welcome!" he called. "Shika maiden, what can this humble Keeper do for you?"_

_She bowed low. "Lord Keeper, my mistress sends her regards, and calls upon the debt owed to her."_

_He started, and stammered, "O-of course! Right this way! Right this way!"_

_He led her past the trees, with their shimmering, iridescent bark, and the flowers, some white, some pink, blooming in thick adornments on the branches. Above, the sky was dark, and the stars glimmered in many colors. Below, the grass grew under a carpet of white mist that parted with their footsteps. Ahead was a mountain, which lurched, steep and sharp, high up; its rocks were dark, but its features were still clear; moss padded the sides, and willow trees wafted in the wind. There were steps, made of white stone, leading up along the walls._

_The debt owed to the goddess was a golden gourd that glowed like amber and emitted a fragrant scent of jasmine. The Keeper had it kept in a small cave in the mountain, where it sat collecting water that flowed down from the mountain peaks._

_"What is that?" she asked, for it was no ordinary gourd, for the water it collected never seemed to flow back out, despite the volume._

_"The Infinity Gourd," said the Keeper. "She lent it to me. Now I return it. Perhaps it is to harvest something too big to be stored—but that is what this does. Good for trapping things too, which is what I had done. In its belly are all sorts of vicious beings, though I would be careful not to release them; some take several thousand years to dissolve."_

_He handed it to her with a bow. She accepted it in kind. Then, with a whisk of her skirts, she transformed, and dove back up with the gourd in her possession. The stars streaked past and the island disappeared behind her. She went up, up, and—_

* * *

"There's no way," Touya insisted. "Nakayama is way too old. By the time the World Cup actually happens, some new upstart's going to replace him."

"But he scored the only goal for Japan in the last World Cup. They _have_ to keep him when we actually host; he's the best chance we've got!"

"So? He's still old. Just because he scored in the last Cup doesn't mean he can score in this Cup, or that someone won't score Japan's second goal."

"He'd be thirty-four. That's not  _old_."

Touya poked his father. "Are you sure?"

Fujitaka chuckled. "You little brat."

"Bah!"

"Nuh!"

They were still bickering about football when they joined up with the girls.

" _Mizuki-san, Tomoyo-chan,"_ Fujitaka looked at his daughter. " _Sakura-chan._ What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry."

"Her stomach has been growling ever since we left _Kikuchi-sensei_ , poor thing," Tomoyo sighed.

"What do we want?" Fujitaka asked.

"Udon."

"Sushi."

"Ramen."

"…Alright," Touya looked at Kaho. "You're the ones that have been here before. Where would we get all of that?"

"Let's walk and find out," said Kaho.

Sakura suddenly came forward to hug her father. Fujitaka hugged her back, looking vaguely concerned.

"What happened?" he asked Kaho.

"She was able to transform," said Kaho with a smile. "Quite a pretty thing too."

"She turned into a fawn!" Tomoyo clapped her hands together. "Oh you should see it! She should do it when we get back to Tomoeda! It was the sweetest!"

Touya frowned. His sister looked more unnerved than anything. "Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Sakura mumbled with her face buried in her father's shirt. "I'm just really hungry."

"Probably expected," said Fujitaka, kissing her on the head. "Let's go get some food in you. What did you want, udon?"

She continued to behave strangely until they got their food, perking up, apparently, as she refueled on the calories. After all the bubble tea (he and his father got three of those throughout the day, different flavors, including a wasabi one which Touya's sinuses still deeply regretted), he and Fujitaka were very interested in something savory, so the restaurant they found (with only udon and ramen; the sushi was hideously expensive) was actually quite perfect for their purposes. Tomoyo continued to chatter about Sakura's deer form, which Touya would rather die before admitting that he was actually really curious about.

Sakura, true to form, allowed her friend to continue to sigh and gush over her, too embarrassed to do anything else. Kaho watched all of this with amusement. On occasion, she would say something to Fujitaka; it was kind of bizarre that she seemed to have more in common with Fujitaka than she did with Touya. Maybe because she was a teacher? Still kind of creepy. To think, a few years ago she and Touya had gone on dates.

"By the way," Sakura asked absently between bites, "what is 'primordial magic'?"

* * *

_"Primordial magic??"_ James exclaimed.  _"That doesn't make any sense. That's like eating the Big Bang, or wearing lightning as a hat."_

"That's apparently what happened," Eriol frowned, "and I don't know what has been happening since Clow Reed died before I came back. Was there such a demon causing havoc? Because she was pretty explicit about the demon possessing primordial magic. It's possible she's come across this terminology in one of the books, but she doesn't know what it is, so I doubt it."

 _"But it doesn't make any sense,"_ James insisted.  _"Primordial magic doesn't exist. The whole point of it is that it's primordial. It's the magic before magic. I don't even know how you'd get **to** it, let alone use it, since it all becomes regular magic. It's not something you **have**."_

"…Unless it's negative magic…"

James paused.  _"…You think that maybe…?"_

"I don't know. The timing doesn't really fit, unless Sakura was viewing something in the life right before this one. It still doesn't fit. I don't know of any realms being  _destroyed_ , though I suppose some of it might not have reached us." There might be a delay, after all. By several thousand light-years.

_"…I don't think Syaoran was a demon, Eriol. With or without this primordial magic."_

"Well, I think it's worth looking into."

_"I don't—I don't even know where to start, mate. I mean…primordial magic? How do you get to magic before magic? You might as well go to the time before the universe existed!"_

"Maybe that's the whole point," Eriol pointed out. "In any case, whatever it is probably got sucked up by that gourd. The Infinity Gourd, and whatever goddess owns it…honestly I can't keep track." Goddess covered in jewels was not very specific. "There's a bunch that have a fondness for gourds but the name should narrow it down. And maybe there is some kind of log…" some deities keep meticulous notes about everything they did, particularly the Chinese ones. "Like what went in there? They probably would have to keep track somehow, if they have demons they are trying to…dissolve."

Disturbing.

_"Well, I'll ask Anne. In the meantime, how cool is that, your Sakura-chan was a Shika maiden! That's wicked! Forget this primordial nonsense; she can turn into a bleeding **deer**?! She's far more accomplished than you are, Eriol."_

Eriol could not help the smile. "Thanks, Jim."

_"By the way, heard from the kid lately?"_

"…No." Eriol felt uneasy about the relative silence these days. Usually, Syaoran would write really curt notes, too short to be considered polite, often consisting of 'How are you's and 'Things are going well, bye'. Eriol tried to encourage Syaoran to talk a little more about what was going on in Hong Kong, the things happening in his life, but Syaoran remained reserved. He never went completely silent though, and usually Yukito and Kero would pick up the slack, but there had been nothing from China lately.

 _"Hm."_ James intoned. _"Well, hope the little one is doing alright. I'll check out this primordial goop thingamajig. Blimey, I don't even know where to **start** …"_

Before they were able to disconnect, there was a sudden swell of magic from outside. All the lights in the mansion went out, and the line went dead.

"Eriol?" Kaho materialized in the dark. "What just happened?"

Eriol hung up the phone. "I have no idea." One thing was for certain, though: "We need to get to Kyoto.  _Now_."


	30. Coalescence

_She was in a dark space, and a deep voice rumbled, **I have you now!**_

_Frightened, she shifted. On four legs, she leaped, then dashed. Behind her, she could feel a dark aura surge in pursuit, but she was as fast as light, and she galloped out of reach._

_There was no time to pause though, or to consider how she got here. She was in danger, and she had to flee. Before her was a path of glitter in an otherwise black void. Her hooves were silent against the trail of stardust, fleet and tireless._

_**You cannot run forever, little Star Maiden!** _

_It certainly felt like she could. She seemed to expend no energy; her lungs expanded easily and her head was clear. When she needed more speed, her limbs obeyed, and the stardust went past her, blurring into a stream of light. But she did not know where she was running to; before her was pitch black, like a black hole. Something was once there, and swirling shadows hinted at the vestiges of what was missing; crackles of not-light, flashes of not-spark. She would have been safe there, if what had been there had not disappeared._

_A figure suddenly loomed over her. She kept running but tilted her head up to look. It was a fair youth, with long black hair and rosy cheeks. He wore lotus flowers and a red sash about his waist. His bare feet stood on spinning wheels of fire. In his hands was a spear, which he had tilted to the side. He looked at her with two velvety eyes, then descended down. Sliding his spear to one hand, he looped his free arm around her body and lifted her effortlessly off the path._

_She bleated, thrashing her legs, but he tilted her body so that they swung harmlessly out._

_Behind them, the deep voice roared in rage. The youth glanced back with a smirk, before leaning forward. The fire wheels spun faster, and the starlit path disappeared under them_

* * *

_"Sika deer are messengers,"_ said Kikuchi, _"so they can run very fast, and often to places out of reach of others. It was why I elected to show her that form first, though it also seems to be a good fit."_

"She's not a Sika deer," said Eriol. "She's a mortal child."

The _kitsune_ heaved a sigh. _"Humans and your idiot children. Fine. I'll come over."_

 _"Iie,"_ said Eriol. He, Fujitaka, and Touya were all in the hotel, and the last thing he wanted was for a  _kitsune_ to distract all of them with her wiles.  _"_ I think it would be better if you can look into your own networks. I can try to rouse her; my magic does not pale compared to yours in that regard, but I want to know if the Demon King has captured her already. If not, it would be helpful if you can delay him."

 _"Delay the Demon King?"_ Kikuchi sounded amazed.  _"You want me, a mere kitsune, to engage a king of demons."_

"Are you saying this is beyond you?"

_"It's not about capability. There are rules in Makai. But don't try to hide how this is the first time you have chosen to engage with **me** personally. You feel intimidated by me, little man."_

"I have dealt with your kind before," Eriol replied. At least, Clow Reed had. "I had other errands to handle, which I won't go into this time. Will you help?"

_"I will, if you swear you will defend me if I should run into trouble from this. In the name of that which you hold most dear. Otherwise, this is none of my business. I've done more than enough already."_

Kikuchi talked tough, but Eriol had a suspicion that this particular fox spirit was much more benevolent than most of her brethren. Her demand was not unreasonable at all.

"Heaven and Earth bear witness," said Eriol, "I won't abandon you in your time of need, as long as you do not abandon Sakura."

He regarded the girl on the bed after the call disconnected, and sighed.

"This wasn't your fault," said Fujitaka.

" _Iie,_ it was. My oversight. I should have thought of it."

"I knew about it too," Fujitaka pointed out.

"You have less experience," Eriol shook his head.

They had all forgotten that Sakura had been protected by the wards. Fujitaka likely assumed that her relocation itself would have spared her the danger. Eriol should have known better. He had forgotten entirely;  _Ma-ou_ would not have been restricted by such mundane things like geographic boundaries. He was a spiritual entity, and could go wherever dreams go. He should have reminded Kaho to take some wards with her when they went to Kyoto. Once Sakura fell asleep, she was instantly vulnerable. Now they could not wake the girl up.

"Can we all stop blaming ourselves and figure out how to wake her?" Touya demanded. "What is it? True love's kiss? Because if that's the case—"

"I don't know," Eriol admitted. "I don't know what this demon has over her. Her body seems to be unharmed, at least."

Kaho looked at him. "Do we need the cards?"

Eriol sighed. He hated the idea of bothering Syaoran when the child had his own issues to worry about, but part of the reason Clow Reed created the cards was because they did make certain things easier. If he was going to break the spell on Sakura, he needed to know what that spell was, and the cards would easily tell him that. He just needed Syaoran to ask the cards, and then relate to him the answer. They should not let Sakura stay asleep any longer than they can help.

One of the servants in the Li household answered the phone, followed by one of Syaoran's sisters. Li Yelan was unhappy with the disturbance.

 _"He hasn't been sleeping well,"_ she admitted.  _"He has been sick, lately. I would prefer not to wake him."_ It was two in the morning.  _"I can try to summon my own diviners to help you. Please stand by."_

The longest half hour ensued, during which Eriol tried other ways to at least figure out what kept Sakura under. There was no magical spell he could detect, nothing about her aura that had changed. She was just not waking up or responding to any of their attempts at all.

When Yelan called back, she sounded very confused.

 _"Has Kinomoto Sakura been dealing with spirits lately?"_ she asked.  _"We are receiving conflicting reports."_

Eriol winced. "She has been training under the tutelage of a fox spirit."

_"A fox spirit? Why?"_

"Because she has star magic, one that is transformative, and we felt it was necessary for her to reach her potential."

 _"Star magic."_ Yelan paused.  _"She can change her shape. That would explain some things. But a fox spirit is a dangerous entity to have liaisons with. Our divinations show that she has caught the attention of a demon."_

"She has. That actually came before we contacted the  _kitsune_."

 _"Before?"_ Yelan paused again.  _"I see. And what about this kitsune?"_

"She is trying to find out what happened, same as us."

_"Is this spirit trustworthy?"_

Eriol sighed. "We don't have much choice at the moment."

 _"She is not in the mortal plane,"_ Yelan told him.  _"For some reason, our readings indicate she is with the stars. Her body is still alive?"_

It was Eriol's turn to hesitate. "She is breathing, and her heart is beating. Her body is warm. What do you mean, 'with the stars'?"

 _"Well, her spirit has left her body,"_ Yelan replied.  _"Normally, that is associated with death. In this case, it seems like she is merely astro-projecting, but she is far away and if she stays detached for too long, she might not be able to make her way back. The Li clan use to have items that can guide such souls to their vessels, but we had lost them, or else I would have offered them to you. As it is, this is the most I can do for you. You will have to find a way to summon her back on your own. I am sorry."_

* * *

Syaoran had indeed been sleeping poorly; in fact, he seemed to worsen once everyone acknowledged that he was unwell. The boy avoided the guardians and clung to his mother, preferring to stay with her at all times and looking disconsolate whenever she had to leave him with his sisters. He was very brittle, and would burst into tears without warning. His eyes were also always downcast, unable to look at anyone in the eye. The girls were concerned, but very bewildered by his behavior. The eldest, Fanren, took off from school to stay with him as Yelan could not excuse herself from her duties. Yukito also took a leave of absence, but because Syaoran seemed repelled by the guardians all of the sudden, he ended up being of little help.

He and Kero did eavesdrop. And Syaoran, needing reassurance, unveiled a lot of things to his sister that he never mentioned to the guardians or his mother. Some of it was chilling.

_"Doesn't Kerou like you now?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"He hasn't tried to bite you that I remember."_

_"No."_

_"And Yue was always smiling when he hugged you. I think they both like you now."_

_"I don't know. They do their best. When I passed the Final Judgment, they were really upset."_

_"And that hurt you."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Did you tell them?"_

_"What would that do?"_

_"Xiaodi, I really think they like you. Not every friendship has to have a good start."_

_"We're not friends though. They're forced to be here because I made them come. And they get hurt, and I'm no good at protecting them. Why would they want to be my friends? And they both like Sakura, and Sakura likes them, and now I took them away."_

_"That's not your fault."_

_"I don't know."_

It got even worse when Syaoran spoke of his captivity for the first time.

_"I was really scared."_

_"Of course you were. That's normal."_

_"I thought I was going to die. It took so long. I didn't think anyone would find me."_

_"You know they were looking for you, right? Mama even flew to Japan just for you."_

_"No…I didn't know if she'd even know I was gone. And it hurt."_

_"I know."_

_"It hurt a lot. It still hurts."_

_"I know, baby."_

_"D-do you think it's because I took the cards…and I wasn't supposed to?"_

_"Sweetheart, you did not deserve what happened."_

_"You and Mama are the only ones who say that."_

_"Xiaodi, no one else knows you as well as we do."_

_"I don't know."_

_"Truly."_

_"I don't know."_

Eventually, as if revealing as much were as painful as pulling out his own eyeball, Syaoran confessed to his sister that the cards had not been working for him.

_"Please—please don't tell Mama. I—I don't know what I did wrong, but please don't tell her. Don't tell anyone…"_

It was not exactly that; when his sister made him demonstrate that day, it was apparent that he was still magically linked to the cards; they floated up at his command and settled quite happily in his hand. But when he tried to summon their true forms, nothing happened.

"It's the staff," Kerberus realized, when Yukito shared this with the sun guardian. "Hiiragizawa changed the staff in Tomoeda before we left, remember? It's now powered by Syaoran's magic. The cards are still his but they don't recognize the staff!"

They called Hiiragizawa, but no one answered at the mansion. They called the Kinomotos, but no one answered there either.

"What's going on?" Yukito wondered, disturbed.

It was Shiefa, after she returned from school, who told them that Hiiragizawa had called in the middle of the night, requesting to speak with Syaoran. Yelan had intercepted the call, not wishing to wake her son.

But Yelan was gone all day, and that evening…she did not return.

Syaoran, distressed, paced restlessly back and forth between the living room and the front door. As the minutes stretched, his anxiety grew. Feimei and Fuutie tried to keep him occupied with bad television shows and even the Romance of Three Kingdoms, but when the clock turned to eleven, Syaoran went to the front door and suddenly headed out.

Yukito caught him about twenty feet from the door. The boy had not even brought a jacket.

"Get back here," said the teen, "you can't go wandering about at this hour."

" _Mama_ ," was all Syaoran could say, in a whimpering tone. He was already beside himself.

Yukito hugged him, partially to comfort and partially to keep him warm. Syaoran felt small in his arms; somehow, the boy had lost an alarming amount of weight. He hugged back though; sometimes Syaoran would push him away. Yukito lifted him up to carry him back inside. Syaoran did not cry this time, but he looked like he was just a moment away from it.

Yelan did not return all night. Syaoran did not sleep all night, and neither did the sisters. This has not happened since Yukito and Kero came to Hong Kong, but apparently it has happened enough that the sisters were less concerned than Syaoran was. He would fuss, and they would have to soothe him. Both Yukito and Kero tried their turn. Somehow, the hours passed, and dawn broke. Syaoran, exhausted, finally rested.

That was when Yelan did return.

"Where were you?" Yue demanded. "Your son has been freaking out all night."

"Is he awake?" she asked. Something about her face was very shadowed.

"He just fell asleep maybe half an hour ago," the moon guardian reported. "What were you doing?"

"Clan business," she replied, turning, and Yue saw small splatters of blood on the back of her robe. He stared until she turned back around again. "I'm sorry you had to deal with this. His sisters should have helped you."

"They did," said Kerberus, sounding subdued, "but he was very anxious. He nearly went out looking for you; we caught him right as he left the house."

"I'll have a word with him," said Yelan, still sounding cold, but it seemed habitual, like she had been speaking in this manner for so long that she could not quite change her tone.

Fanren, the eldest, came out to greet her mother.

"You must be exhausted," she noted.

"I need to wash," said the sorceress. "Your brother is alright?"

"Now he is. He was fussing all night."

"I'll see him after I take a shower."

Syaoran woke easily, despite Yelan being otherwise unobtrusive. He clung to his mother like a baby monkey. Yelan allowed him to do so.

"Where were you?" he asked plaintively.

"At work. It's alright now.  _Mama_ is here. Come, let's get some rest."

"OK."

Yue debated whether he should broach the subject of Hiiragizawa, but Yelan looked so weary that he figured this could wait. After all, Syaoran would not be using the cards right now.

* * *

_She wiggled, thrashing her legs desperately. The youth held her out with both hands as if she were as light as paper, making sure her legs were directed away from him. She bleated, upset._

_"Easy!" he exclaimed. "I'm just helping! Goodness!"_

_She thrashed one more time, trying to use some momentum to launch herself out of his grasp, but he held on firmly. At length, her struggles abated, and she glanced around to take in her surroundings._

_It was bright here, almost brighter than day. The ground was covered with a white fog, and peach blossoms bloomed all around them, each flower like a deliberate adornment on the branches. Their fragrance wafted in the breeze, but it made her sneeze. She licked her nose, which irritated it more and made her sneeze again._

_"What are you doing, little troublemaker?"_

_The youth looked up as the distant voice resonated. "Actually trying to minimize trouble, for your information. Caught this little one fleeing one of the demon kings. Didn't know we had another fawn."_

_"We did not," said a familiar voice, and she turned her head to behold that jeweled goddess from her vision. The fair face softened as their gazes met. "Ah. Shika. Oh, you poor thing."_

_The goddess reached out, and the youth handed her over. The tip startled her and she flailed her legs, but the goddess's hold was more secure, and she felt safer than with the youth. The goddess supported her bent legs with one arm and stroked a white hand over her head and ears._

_"First the boy, and now this," said the goddess. "Certainly, the Child of Lightning stirs things up. Let us bring this little one to the gardens. We will need someone to escort her back home, but I know no one who is available right now."_

_The first resonant voice belonged to a tall, white-haired god, donned in white and silver robes and a colorful headdress that streamed blue silk down the back._

_Who are they? She twitched her ears uneasily._

_"We should really do something about that demon king," said the lotus youth, still on his fire wheels and floating above them now. "He stole it in the first place and he is going to wreck havoc trying to steal it again."_

_"We have to control matters here," said the goddess._

_"By the time we settle things here, who knows how much damage that fiend will do, or how many other demon kings might get the same foul idea."_

_"The other demon kings do not know about the lightning child," said the white-haired god. "We have kept it secret, even from mortals."_

_"It will not be kept secret for long," said the lotus youth. "Even if you erase this cherry blossom's memory, it has been ten days. Give it another day or so and everyone will be after these two."_

_She looked up at the goddess. What were they speaking of?_

_"They already have what they need to defend themselves against the likes of the demon king," said the goddess, sounding unconcerned. "And their allies, too, have what they need to defend them against those that threaten them, particularly our little anomaly. They simply need to learn to work together." She bent her head close. "Well, Shika, if they understand nothing else, make sure they understand this: in a world where demons grow ever more influential, your little love needs both love and trust. He is very special, so take good care of him, as we cannot until he is ready to join us."_

_She bleated. That, at least, she felt she could understand. Kind of._

_The goddess smiled, then pressed a kiss on top of her head. "Good lass. Come, now. Your friends will be sending an escort soon enough, but I have missed you so. How time does stretch when one misses another…and your mortal excursion is nowhere near done. Let us make the most of our time here; the fairies have collected peaches, which I think you will like very much."_

* * *

 

Trying to rouse Sakura without running into Kikuchi while in the same city proved to be a major headache for everyone involved. The  _kitsune_ , for one, was not inclined to go out of her way to cooperate. Kaho found herself playing intercepter multiple times, much to the  _geiko's_ amusement.

At least it was amusement, and not offense.

"They're really scared of me, huh?" the fox spirit smirked when the sorceress met her at a Starbucks cafe. "What do they imagine I would do?"

"I wouldn't wager to guess," Kaho said, reserved, "but I think we can agree they don't need more distractions now."

"True," Kikuchi allowed. "Men are so easily distracted."

Her concern for Sakura was genuine though. " _Ma-ou_ does not have her, this I know. She is still unconscious?"

" _Hai."_

"Careless," said Kikuchi. "If you knew she was being attacked in her sleep, you shouldn't have allowed her to sleep outside of the wards."

Kaho twisted her lip and did not comment. Eriol and Kinomoto had been beating themselves up over it enough as it was. She did not appreciate the comment, but she did acknowledge that it was, perhaps, unavoidable.

"She seems to be a resourceful girl," said Kikuchi. "Clearly, she put her new skills to use, or else  _Ma-ou_ would certainly have captured her, and we would be having another conversation entirely."

"That is all well and good," Kaho sighed, "but the fact remains, we cannot wake her up. According to the Li matriarch, the more time she is away, the harder it would be for her to return."

"That is true."

"I don't suppose you know of any ways."

"To be honest, this sort of thing was never a concern of mine," the  _kitsune_ admitted. "When human spirits wander into the  _Makai_ , we don't worry about how to return them. That is often pointless, and irrelevant. Add to the fact that she is  _not_ even  _in_ _Makai_ —well, this would be even less of a concern. Did the temples not offer anything useful?"

"They've tried. Eriol and the Kinomotos have brought her to the Sika Temple earlier, but they've used all the instruments they could think of, including the gong, the  _ounusa_ , the bell…"

"She might be too far away to hear," said Kikuchi. "She might need an escort."

"…An escort?"

"A guide," Kikuchi gestured. "She's ten years old. Wouldn't surprise me if she simply doesn't know how to come back, even if she knows she should."

"We don't know where she is though," Kaho said cautiously, "and we can get lost too. All the Li matriarch said was that she was with the stars."

"That's specific," Kikuchi said sarcastically. "You might as well say 'she is out there'. Well, I don't suppose there's some kind of compass you can use to find your way?"

Kaho frowned in thought.

"There  _is_ a compass you can use," the  _kitsune_ interpreted her expression.

"There is a compass," said Kaho, "but we don't have it here. I don't know if we'll be able to use it."

"Well, you should find some way," said the  _kitsune_. " _I'm_ certainly not going up there. They'd expect me, for one, and I do so hate being predictable, especially by that pompous lot." She rose, taking her iced coffee. "One thing is good though: if she's with the stars, then she's not with the sulfur. But I wouldn't dally too long; bodies expire quickly without proper support."

* * *

Hiiragizawa dialed Hong Kong on speaker, with everyone surrounding the phone in the hotel room. To their surprise, Syaoran was the one to answer it.

" _Xiaolang?"_ Hiiragizawa frowned. "What are you doing home? Is there no school today?"

It was probably not the best way to start a conversation, but no one had slept all night, worried as they were over Sakura. Syaoran's response was total silence.

Hiiragizawa winced. Touya winced too.

" _Gomen ne. Xiaolang,_ is your mother around, by any chance?"

Syaoran did not answer immediately; he took a deep, wavering breath. " _Iie,"_ he said, sounding very small,  _"she's out."_

Even Touya could tell something was wrong. The boy's voice sounded off.

Hiiragizawa was more concerned about Sakura at the moment, though. "When will she be back? Do you know?"

_"…Iie."_

Hiiragizawa let out a sigh. "Is there any way you can contact her for me? It's kind of an emergency."

Syaoran's responses were very delayed.  _"………Iie."_

Touya and Fujitaka glanced at each other.

" _Xiaolang,_ are you alright?" Hiiragizawa's voice gentled considerably. "We haven't heard from you in a while."

_"……………What's the emergency?"_

Hiiragizawa winced again, clearly regretting revealing this bit of information to the boy. "It's not a big deal. I just need to ask your mother for a favour."

 _It **is** a big deal,_ Touya thought mutinously, but chose not to voice it; Syaoran did not sound right, and he agreed that they should not go into it.

 _"……I'll………tell her you called,"_ Syaoran said slowly.

He almost sounded like he was drunk, except he was not slurring his words.

"… _Syaoran-kun,"_ Fujitaka interrupted, "you don't sound well. Are you ill?"

The silence was more bewildered this time, even across the phone.

"I'm Sakura's  _otou-san,_ " Fujitaka clarified, realizing that Syaoran probably did not recognize his voice.

_"……I'm…fine………how are you?"_

"I'm well," Fujitaka said warmly. "Thank you for asking."

"Your mother said that you had been sick," Hiiragizawa remembered. "Can you tell me what happened?"

An agonizing pause followed. Touya thought Syaoran would not answer, but the boy ultimately replied,  _"……Nothing."_

 _"Xiaolang,"_ Hiiragizawa looked visibly frightened, "are the guardians treating you well?"

For some reason, Syaoran's voice sounded tearful.  _"Th-they've—they've been good…they've been really good to me. Ano…I—I have to go. Gomen ne."_

 _"Xiao—"_ but it was too late. Syaoran had hung up.

Hiiragizawa leaned back. "Jesus f—what happened over there?"

"That boy does not sound right," said Fujitaka. "He sounds like he was drugged."

"He sounds like he did when I first brought him home," Hiiragizawa's eyes were distant. "What's going on over there? I thought getting him to Hong Kong would make him better. Do we need to get him out of there? And with Sakura?" He grabbed at his head. "This is absurd! _Both_ of them? And they're in two separate countries now."

"Would it be easier if we had them in one place?" Fujitaka asked.

"Of course it would, but we can't bring Syaoran here. The whole reason I had to let him go was because he needed his mother. Though I wonder now what she's doing."

"What if we take Sakura to Hong Kong?"

Hiiragizawa looked up.

"I don't know if I want to go near that clan," said Touya. "Also, would that interfere with bringing her back?"

"It wouldn't interfere if she had a guide," said Hiiragizawa, "but I don't want her near that clan either." He took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Alright. One thing at a time: Sakura first. We need that  _rashinban._ I'm going to try to call through the proper channels; that might actually get me to her faster."

He never had a chance though. The clock on the stand suddenly reversed, and the speaker turned on to five minutes ago.

_"…Ano…did it work?"_

_"Hiiragizawa,"_ Kero's voice came across,  _"Are you there?"_

"…Cerberus," Hiiragizawa frowned.

 _"Oh good! We've been trying to reach you! Kid, go with Yukito. Go go, go. I'll take care of this."_  They heard the sun guardian heave a breath in preparation. _"Hey. How's it going. Was there something we needed to do with the Clow Cards? Because they're not working right."_


	31. Propulsion

 It turned out Hiiragizawa neglected to mention something Syaoran had to do once he returned to Hong Kong.

 _"He **was** supposed to transform the cards," _said the sorcerer in a slightly harassed tone,  _"but it's not something that can be done at once. It's draining, on mind, body, **and** magic, and while Syaoran has quite a bit of the last, I intended to give him a break. The staff was to secure the cards to his ownership. The rest of it is hardly an emergency. Why was he trying to cast spells with the wand? Don't tell me he's being attacked in Hong Kong."_

"Well, his darling relatives attacked Yukito," Kero explained, "apparently your little descendant tried to use one of the cards to stop him. When it didn't work, he just clubbed them with the wand."

 _"…"_ Hiiragizawa was clearly at a loss for words for a moment. When he recovered, he still sounded dumbfounded.  _"His relatives **attacked** Yukito? What do you mean by 'attacked'?"_

"Attack as in threw a spell meant to cause pain and harm. You know, the conventional definition of the word 'attack'."

There was another moment of silence.

_"And his mother allowed this to happen?"_

"Well, I don't know about 'allow', but I don't know what she did about it either. There was a lot of general upset."

_"Well, you just told Syaoran to go with him, so I'm assuming he's alright."_

"He's no worse for wear. Kid's been shaken up."

 _"…"_  Hiiragizawa let out a long-suffering sigh. _"…Well,_ _if he needs the cards I guess he needs the cards. I can't go to Hong Kong right now; you three will have to bear with this for a little longer because we have to clean up a mess here. In the meantime, he needs to transform them magically, and then write his name on them. This has to be done to each card individually. Make sure he doesn't go through all of them at once; I have a feeling the brat's going to try. At most five at a time, or else we'd have yet another problem on our hands. And in the meantime, what cards he has not transformed should still respond to his magic without the enhancement of a wand; if he just holds them, he can cast partial spells with enough focus. They would not be able to unveil their true forms, of course, nor unleash their full potential, but they could get him out of a bind or a tight spot in a hurry. You three hold on for now; I'll get to you once I deal with this hogwash over here. Tch, I need to figure out what to do about his clan."_ and with that Hiiragizawa said his goodbyes and left the guardians to convey all of this to Syaoran.

Telling the boy what the solution was did not seem to bring him any relief; in fact, through the bond, the guardians actually felt a spike of anxiety. He did not outwardly react, and in fact did not seem to even hear what Kero said. 

Syaoran elected to transform Windy, but his initial attempts were not successful. His focus was too poor, and trying to force the issue made his head hurt, weakening his resolve. Yue had never seen this kind of behavior from the boy. Even bribery with evening flights barely worked; lately Syaoran had been disinterested in flying, or anything he use to enjoy. Knowing that the boy needed a good way to defend himself, the guardians pressed and pushed, but this made Syaoran withdrew his efforts completely. He stomped away, breathing deep and fast, close to hyperventilating.

"I can't, I'm sorry—"

Yue gathered the boy to him and pressed his face against the child's cheek. "You can, I know you can."

" _Iie,_ I can't—I don't have what it takes—"

"Shhhhh, what are you afraid of?" Yue moved his head back and tried to get Syaoran to look at him. "You've done  _amazing_ things with far less, little one."

Syaoran shook his head fought to free himself for a moment, before relenting and allowing Yue to pull him close. His aura stirred restlessly. Yue held him, resigned to the truth that there was no way Syaoran could concentrate on such a task when he was so upset. Kerberus was also dismayed, and had no idea how to comfort him.

"Well, there goes that," the sun guardian remarked. "What should we do?"

The boy had a poor appetite and constantly complained of various aches and pains; headaches, stomachaches, nausea, feeling sick and tired. His eyes were dull and he  _looked_ like he was in constant pain. He never smiled anymore, and never met anyone's eyes. It was terrifying and heartbreaking, and no amount of hugs or kisses, pleading or compliments helped—in fact, it all seemed to make things even worse. Yue could not help but remember how Ruby Moon was once able to make the child laugh hysterically in sheer delight, racing down the stairs to ask Hiiragizawa if they could go flying again that night. She turned out to be a complete facade, and now it seemed no one could lift the boy's spirits anymore.

"We'll have to wait," said Yue, cradling the little round head to him, wishing there was a way to heal the little one. "We can't push him now; he's crossed some kind of threshold and he's at the limit of his tolerance for this kind of thing. We'll have to follow his lead. He's not the type to languish. If he can't perform it's because he's exhausted his endurance."

"I suppose. If transforming the cards were so easy, Hiiragizawa would have done it with him already."

"I'm sorry," Syaoran mumbled.

"Shhhh, you're fine," Kerberus said gently.

Yue ducked his head, running his fingers through the brown hair. "We'll try when you're ready,  _boubui._ "

The term of endearment had Syaoran looking up at him.

"Let's get some food in you," said Kerberus.

* * *

_"This was your room," said the goddess. "One of the younger fawns wandered in here and spilled nectar, that's the spot there."_

_The sika looked over the goddess' arm. Beside them, the lotus boy held up a slice of peach. The deer sniffed, nibbled, then gulped it down. It tasted divine._

_"Where is she?" asked the white-haired god._

_"Delivering the nectar to the_ **_correct_ ** _room," the goddess chuckled. "She'll be back to clean it up. She's a good girl. Now, Shika, I suppose you are ten years old at this point. Will you change for me so I see what you look like?"_

_Change? Confused, she bleated into the goddess' face._

_The deity laughed and kissed her on the nose._

_"Perhaps a little much, this time around," she acknowledged._

_"What are you looking at?" the lotus youth asked. He was directing the question at the white-haired god, who was standing at the balcony, looking down._

_"You remember that power source?"_

_"Power source?"_

_"The one that demon was using."_

_"What of it?" said the goddess._

_"He's unwell." the white-haired god turned._

_The goddess and the lotus boy went over in an instant. They all looked down. A brown-haired human boy was being cradled in the moon guardian's arms._

_"The Li clan is involved in some shadowed business," said the lotus boy, sounding subdued._

_"Looks like you have your work cut out for you, Shika," the goddess murmured. "Hm. Why don't we give you something to take with you when you leave?"_

_"Oh no," said the white-haired god. "You know such things often do more harm than good in the mortal realm."_

_"Nothing like **that** ," the goddess chastised. "Something to make her life easier. Besides, it was hers to begin with." She turned. _ _"Now…"_

* * *

In the end, it was the cards that broke Syaoran's handicap. The book started floating above Syaoran when the child ate, and then started following him everywhere once he left Yue's arms. The child was very nonplussed and glared at the tome with suspicion. He did not want to open the book, but people would start asking questions when they see it hovering around him, so after some long looks of distrust, he finally gave in and opened the clasp, pressing against Yue like he wanted to go through the guardian and to the other side. As soon as the covers flipped outward, the cards spilled out and assembled into formation.

The first card was Windy, which was also the first card Syaoran had attempted to bond with when he first passed the Final Judgment. That time, he had seen a vision, and whatever it was had deterred the boy from using the cards for a long time. Though Syaoran had selected Windy for his first attempt anyway, Yue was worried something similar might happen, and Syaoran's clear reluctance hinted that he might have been recalling the same thing.

But the nature of the transformation was quiet, peaceful, and nothing like anything Yue had ever experienced. The wave of magic washed over them: Windy, cool and soothing, seemed to revert to its rawest, most basic form, before reassembling, but with a purity that even Clow was not able to attain. The whole process did not take long at all: all Syaoran did was touch the card with the head of his staff and concentrate on it. There was light, a low, deep hum of forces assembling around them, and then Yue felt Clow's magic, which had originally powered the cards, shift, give, and become replaced by the boy's.

And it was that strange  _negative_ magic: bright, profound, poorly defined, and yet endless, like the depths of the sea or the breadth of the stars. He had faint impressions of Syaoran's past—old memories that seemed to have come from before time itself. Darkness, emptiness, a lone sun in the midst of space. Echoes of pain, and terrible sorrow. Underlying everything, however, was a sense of enduring kindness, love for those that were hurt, pain at the suffering of others, more than even that for himself.

He had an abrupt understanding of what Syaoran was supposed to be, more so than he did when he had Syaoran's magic in him to sustain him. That magic had separated from Syaoran, donated in a moment of need. This one, however, was still connected: a bridge, between Syaoran, Windy, and Yue, whose powers and existence depended on the card. He could feel the boy's essence as if it were part of himself, and Clow's presence subsequently fade. With that, came an intimate sense of Syaoran's very nature.

He was not sure exactly _what_ Syaoran had been, but whatever he was, it was beautiful beyond imagining…but something had happened to him. Something had hurt him, terribly. He was still living with the pain, even in this life.

Windy was only one out of twenty-six cards that fell under Yue's domain.

When the glow faded, and the hum softened, the card that floated to Syaoran's hand was green and silver and gold. Windy was silver on a green background, adorned with a golden headdress. The back, however, was probably the oddest: on a green background, it showed a solar eclipse, with the moon completely covering the sun, leaving only the sun's rays. The circle of the moon was pitch black, and the ring of sunlight was bright white. Iridescent lightning bolts, fine and delicate, laced across the back in front of the eclipse.

"…What on earth does this mean?" Syaoran asked, sounding worried. Clearly, he did not have the insight Yue just had. The boy did not seem to notice any change; not even his new connection to the cards. Other than the anxiety at the new card design, he seemed completely unaffected.

"It's beautiful," said Kerberus, sounding awed. "And it doesn't…it doesn't really look cartoonish like the old design."

"Am I a black hole?" Syaoran looked up.

" _Iie,_ " said Yue, a little floored as to how to answer the boy. How was this child was so used to thinking of himself in a negative way? Then it occurred to him that Syaoran probably did not even know what the picture was representing.

"This is the moon," he pointed, "and behind it is the sun. You are an eclipse, see? That is a very rare phenomenon, as it can only be viewed at a certain time, in a certain part of the world. But the sun was there, all along. The lightning must be your negative magic."

"This is supposed to be an eclipse?" Syaoran looked up at him. "Why am I an eclipse?" He looked troubled.

Yue kissed his temple. "You're a marvel, that's why." He knew this would not erase Syaoran's self-doubt though.

"Hurry up and write your name on the card," Kerberus urged, "or else it's going to feel hurt."

When Syaoran penned his name, Yue was suddenly struck with a vision. He saw nothing, heard nothing, but felt a tightness. Something was binding him. A fear unlike any he had ever known threatened to overwhelm him, and he fought against the binds desperately, ready to tear out his insides in order to be free of his evil enslaver—

_"Yukito-san!"_

Yukito opened his eyes to find himself on the floor and Syaoran bending over him, his young aura pale with fright. Yukito's glasses were hanging off his face, so the world was out of focus. He raised his hands to adjust them and sat up. Syaoran backed away as if afraid to touch him.

Yue's presence was alert, though a little scattered. He could feel the guardian collect himself.

"What happened?" Syaoran asked tremulously, eyes glassy.

 _Just a vision,_ Yue related,  _nothing to worry about._

"Yue just saw something, that is all," said Yukito, reaching for the boy. Syaoran blinked and his tears spilled, though he seemed too afraid to breathe, much less move.

"You OK?" Kerberus asked.

Yukito nodded.

"Yue?" Syaoran blinked.

"He's alright," said Yukito, because he could tell Yue was. He reached out again. "Come here.  _Gomen ne._ We didn't mean to scare you."

Instead of coming to him, Syaoran drew up and buried his face in his hands. Yukito had to pull him close.

"It's really alright!" he tried to reassure the boy. "I'm not hurt! I just saw a vision, that must have knocked Yue out for a moment, but we're not hurt, I promise."

Regardless, Syaoran was reluctant to transform the other cards. The guardians did not press; Windy was a formidable card, a main element, and could suffice for now. Hiiragizawa had warned that he should not try to transform all of them at once. The British sorcerer had been worried that Syaoran might do so anyway; he had no idea that Syaoran was in no shape for such an endeavor.

"It's enough for today," said Yukito. "That's enough for now. It's OK. Are  _you_ alright?"

" _Un."_ Syaoran squeezed back tightly.

"Hey," Yukito rocked him back and forth, "look, I'm alright, and you're alright. These things…they may react in ways we can't predict, but it doesn't mean it's bad, alright? Don't be scared. In fact," and Yue ushered the knowledge over, "I think Yue was just unprepared, but he's connected now to your magic, and…it's really good."

Syaoran did not react, so Yukito bent his head low. "Whatever you were, you were very  _very_ good. But you were badly hurt, and…that might be why you're here. We'll take care of you. Don't worry."

Kero frowned, but said nothing. Yukito nodded at him. Syaoran should transform a card aligned with sun magic next time, just so the sun guardian could be on the same page.

* * *

Calling through proper channels did not get them to Li Yelan; in fact, the entire Li clan seemed to have disappeared off the grid. Sensing that something big was going on, Eriol called James first, who suggested he call Watson.

 _"I've been trying to reach you,"_ Watson told him as soon as the call connected.  _"You're needed back here."_

"What?"

 _"It's been insane._ _Monsieur Raoul Dupres was found dead yesterday evening along with his five daughters and his newest wife. Aaron Lee was sent to the hospital this morning in critical condition, thought to be a burglar attack, but nothing was missing from his home. Selena Warner has been declared missing, the Triquetra is also missing, and mortal agents have uncovered a number of unidentified bodies in Denmark that may actually have to do with all this."_

Eriol swore. They were all seers. "This is all happening in Europe."

 _"Yes, and here's the thing,"_ Watson went on,  _"I did some digging, and one of my sources tells me that everything points to the Li clan."_

"Not a chance."

_"…How do you know?"_

Because while Li Yelan might be cutthroat, might even be the type to authorize certain shady dealings, she was not going to draw this much attention to herself in such a sloppy manner when her son was ill.

"They're a scapegoat, clearly. It's all a little too convenient, blaming all these attacks on the clan. They might be responsible after all, but we need to take care not to let the true perpetrators off the hook."

_"Either way, you're needed back here, because people are already starting to say some stupid things."_

Eriol rubbed his face. The timing could not possibly be worse. "What exactly am I expected to do?"

_"Why…get everyone in line, of course! Help with finding out who's behind all of this, too, while you're at it, because right now everyone is pointing fingers at your Chinese clan."_

Eriol closed his eyes. This was the life Clow Reed had wanted to avoid…that  _he_ had wanted to avoid. In the past, Clow Reed had felt it was his duty to use his power for the good of others, but there was always more to do, other crises to address, until he was stretched so thin that he no longer recognized himself in the mirror and everyone he had loved was lost to him, one way or another.

"I can't," he said. "I'm needed here."

_"In…Kyoto? Listen, this could all be connected—"_

"Regardless, I can't leave where I am. I'm needed here."

_"You're needed **here**."_

Eriol pinched the bridge of his nose. If everyone was pointing fingers at the Li clan…first of all, that meant the real culprit was at large and safe from suspicion. Second…it might explain why the Li clan was too preoccupied to work with him.

"Alright, first tell me if you've heard anything about the Li clan. I'll try to wrap up matters here as quickly as I can."

_"The Li clan? Nothing new. Besides, aren't you in a better position to find that out than me?"_

"One would think." Eriol inhaled; he was so reluctant to do this, but he could not afford wasting more time. "It would be helpful if you can locate a compass for me."

 _"A compass? What sort of compass? You know the Chinese—oh."_ Watson was silent for a moment.  _"Didn't the Li clan have one?"_

"Yes. I am unable to contact them."

 _"Oh dear."_ Watson paused again.  _"Hm. Hm! Well if I manage to track down one of those for you, does that mean you will come back?"_

Eriol swallowed. "If the compass accomplishes what I need it to do."

_"What do you need to do?"_

"That's—"

_"Listen, Hiiragizawa, whatever is going on, it's **bad**. First the Oracle, and now this—someone wants us in the dark. All of us. If it's not the Li clan, it's someone else."_

"I know! I'm working on it. Do you have a compass or not?"

_"You'll fly straight back here once you're done using it?"_

Once he used the compass, he should be able to bring Sakura back, at least, and then…maybe the Kinomotos can help him with Syaoran. "Yes. Fine. I'll fly back to London." No promises beyond that, however, he told himself.

_"Alright. I'll call you back."_

Eriol turned as he set the phone down. Fujitaka was already there.

"You have to go."

"It's apparently a mess back there. Listen—"

"The boy."

"Yes," Eriol blinked, not use to having someone follow his thoughts so closely. "Can you go to Hong Kong?"

"I'll need time to set up a visa."

"That's fine. Get that set up as quickly as you can."

"What do you want me to do there? Just check on the boy?"

"I told Li Yelan that if he's being hurt by his clan then I'm taking him. Cerberus told me his relatives attacked them and Syaoran needed to use his cards to fend them off. That's grounds for removing him from their care."

Fujitaka's eyes were wide. "You realize that in the normal world, that's abducting."

"We're not in the normal world now." Eriol looked up at him. "You heard how he sounded…I love that boy."

Behind them, Touya and Daidouji looked on with Kaho. Eriol could feel their gaze on the two of them.

 _"You love him,"_ Yue had said, and Eriol had not answered him one way or another, but the words seemed to permeate his bones. All at once, the last few weeks flashed through his mind—how empty the household was. Spinel and Ruby were both put to sleep, but he did not miss them nearly as much as the young little life with that mop of brown hair and glowing amber eyes, so strong despite all the hurt he endured. To hear the listlessness in the child's voice on the phone cut him to the core.

"That doesn't mean you can just take him."

"I'm not just taking him, and they know that." Eriol looked beseechingly at the older man. " _Please."_

Fujitaka frowned. "I make no promises. I'm merely a professor of archaeology. I can talk big when fighting budget cuts, but this group is different altogether."

"You're the reincarnation of Clow Reed, just as I am," said Eriol. "The Li clan is being framed, somehow. Regardless of their innocence or guilt, Syaoran is not safe with them as long as they're a target. Tell them that this is for his safety, and at the very least Li Yelan might be convinced to help you. If not, call me and we will figure something out." The phone then rang; Watson was calling back. That was quick. "We'll stay in touch. Hello? Great. Yes, I can get there. Will do."

* * *

To distract Syaoran, Yukito and Kero suggested he leave the estate and go for a walk. Syaoran was tired and despondent, but they managed to drag him out. Yukito held his hand.

Hong Kong was not like Tomoeda, and there was something unspeakably unfamiliar about it all. Though the streets were busy, Yukito had the bizarre sensation of loneliness. It took a few blocks before he realized this was coming from Syaoran.

They went to a café to get bubble tea, and Yukito felt a wave of frustration when he could not exactly buy Syaoran anything when he was using Syaoran's money anyway. And Syaoran, of course, had no interest in any of the drinks or snacks. Even a particularly creamy chocolate cake, decorated with sprinkles, did not stir up his appetite. Yukito got it for him anyway, and he and Kero sat near the window as Syaoran sat across, staring at the cake without really touching it. The boy started pinching his forehead and rubbing the back of his neck as if he had a headache, but he did not say anything.

He was so focused on Kero coaxing Syaoran to eat that when Liming showed up, he nearly fell out of his chair.

" _Neihou!_ " she exclaimed, popping up with  _glitter_ in her hair and a coat with giant pandas crawling over it. "Goodness, Syuyue!Haven't seen  _you_ in a while! And who's this?"

Her face darkened as soon as she saw his face. Luckily, Syaoran was too stunned by her appearance to realize this. Yukito knew that she had sensed that shadow in his aura.

"Syuyang," he greeted, and glanced at the clock. School had let out.  _Huh._

"Where have you been all this time?" she asked Yukito.

"Family matters. This is Syaoran. Syaoran, this is my classmate, Yang Liming."

Syaoran blinked rapidly, still startled by her hair.

Liming tilted her head. "Syaoran huh? Very glad to meet you. Hm, he has a good face. Very handsome. He's going to grow to be a charmer."

Yukito blinked. That sounded rather familiar. He would have to reflect on why later.

"What are you eating? Ooh, the chocolate one. That one's a good one; I'm going to get it myself." She stepped away to do just that.

Yukito leaned over as she got in line. "You alright?"

"She's your classmate?" Syaoran whispered back.

Yukito smirked. "Can you believe it?"

He chose not to reveal anything more about her. Syaoran knew better than to reveal too much about himself.

"She seriously going to join us?" Kero whispered from under the table. "You're going to get rid of her somehow, right?"

"She has magic," the boy whispered. "Does she know you're…?"

"She wouldn't," said Yukito. His false form was very hard for others to penetrate. "But she is a seer of some sort."

Syaoran looked at him in alarm.

"I don't think she knows what you are. Even if she did, she'd have found out anyway."

"That…" The boy's fists tightened just as Liming returned.

"My, this looks delicious!" she exclaimed, as Syaoran not-so-subtly scooted closer to Yukito. He was glaring at her openly now. Yukito was abruptly reminded of how hostile Syaoran had been in Tomoeda. His end of their bond was tight with stress and fear, almost to the point of hysteria.

He never took to anyone easily in Tomoeda except for two exceptions: Yukito and Nakuru. Nakuru had betrayed him, and sometimes Syaoran still seemed to be afraid of Yue. Likely, he never felt safe, but Syaoran certainly never made things easier for himself.

Yukito reached out and grabbed hold of Syaoran's head. The boy was close enough that he could tuck him against himself easily.

"Sorry," he said to Liming, "he's not feeling well." The statement was easily sold, considering Syaoran's generally intact cake made for good proof.

"Oh," she looked at the boy in concern. Syaoran's face was tucked away from her. Below the table, Syaoran's fists remained clenched. Kero had scuttled to Yukito's lap, though with her so close, he could not speak.

"I'd stay and chat," Yukito said to her, "but I think I need to take him home."

"Wait," she looked down as she reached for her bag, "If he feels better by then, come over to my place for the weekend." She took out a pad of sticky notes and wrote down the address. "Bring him too," she nodded at Syaoran. "I'm having some friends over. Should be fun. Hm?"

Yukito slowly accepted, tightening his embrace on Syaoran. "We'll see," he said without promising anything.

 _Interesting,_ Yue thought.


	32. Red Evening

Li Yelan did not return that night.

The sisters maintained a superficial calm, but they were worried. This was not normal. Syaoran paced about, sensing the same thing, but unwilling to panic while his sisters appeared unconcerned.

"Stop fussing, brother," Shiefa tried to console him. "Why don't you go flying with Yue and Kerou?"

"I don't feel like it," Syaoran protested. "They can go flying if they want."

"Well if you stay here and wait, it will feel longer. A watched pot never boils. Go out and get some air."

"It's chilly out."

"Then bundle up. And take that card book with you."

Syaoran obeyed, but he was very distracted throughout the flight. He had not enjoyed flying, Yue reflected, for some time now. He kept requesting they turn back, but eventually acquiesced to a rest stop first. They found the ledge of Tsim Sha Tsui. Syaoran sat, huddled under Kerberus' wing. 

"You should try transforming another card."

"Shouldn't I wait till we get back?"

"There's no one around," Yue pointed out. "No one would look this high up, and the airplanes wouldn't know what to make of this anyway."

Syaoran took out the book. The next card was Watery, but Yue suggested he transform one of Kerberus' instead. "You can alternate," he told the boy.

So Syaoran chose Firey.

When he closed his eyes and focused on the card, Kerberus turned bright gold and his features washed out. Yue stared, entranced. Did he do that too, when Syaoran transformed Windy?

The change itself was actually quick. Kerberus slumped when Syaoran was done, producing the same eclipse as he had done to the Windy. Firey's image was a brilliant gold against a green background, and its red jewel on the forehead turned orange.

Syaoran shook Kerberus' shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Kerberus lifted his head to look at Syaoran. "Don't worry about me." He then looked at Yue.

He had seen something.

Syaoran heaved a sigh. "Let's head home now." He put the card back and then made to close it, but then stopped.

"What is it?" Kerberus asked.

Syaoran took the first card out, but instead of the Firey, it was the Nothing.

Hiiragizawa had not given any instructions regarding the card. Yue looked at it uneasily.

"I think you should leave that alone, Syaoran."

"She wants to be transformed," said the boy.

"Not now, Syaoran," Yue took the boy's hand. "Wait a little bit, alright?"

Syaoran allowed the guardian to take the card and place it back in the book.

"Let's go home," said Kerberus.

* * *

Sakura opened her eyes.

" _Imotou-chan?_ " Touya was holding her left hand.

" _Oni-chan_ ," she whispered. Her mouth was so dry she could hardly speak.

"Thank the  _kami_ ,"her brother exclaimed, leaning back and running a hand through his hair.

"How are you feeling?" Hiiragizawa asked on the other side.

Sakura blinked, Her mouth was still very dry, and she tried to wet her lips to no avail.

Fortunately, her father seemed to sense what was wrong. "Let's get her some water."

They gave her a cup to sip. Sakura felt weak, like her limbs did not quite belong to her. She needed her brother's help to drink. The water did make her feel better, though, and she felt able to talk again.

"What happened?"

"You were lost," said Hiiragizawa. " _Ma-ou_ attacked you when you fell asleep here. There were no wards; I thought you were too far for him to think to find you—that was my oversight. Fortunately, it seemed he did not manage to capture you, but you fled to a far away place. It required some doing to find you and guide you back."

She reached up with her right hand to rub her temple, but there was something in it. She opened it to reveal some kind of hairpin on her palm. It was small, barely two centimeters long, and looked like it was made of bone.

"What's that?" she raised it up.

Hiiragizawa stared for a moment, before reaching over cautiously to take it from her. He held it up, moving his glasses down his nose to study it over the rim.

"I sense magic," he announced, "but it's very faint. I wouldn't have been able to notice it if I weren't holding it."

"She didn't have that in her hand before," her brother remarked. "I would have noticed."

"She must have brought it back with her." Hiiragizawa handed it back.

"What are you doing?" Touya exclaimed.

"I don't sense any harm from it," Hiiragizawa explained.

Fujitaka watched curiously as Sakura took it back. She tried to sense it, but she honestly could not feel anything.

 _Still a lot to learn,_ she thought.

"I wonder if it's in a false form," said Kaho, "like the Clow Key."

"Could be," Hiiragizawa nodded.

"But how would she transform it?" Tomoyo asked. "We don't know the incantation."

"Might have to meditate," said Hiiragizawa. He held up something that looked like Syaoran's _rashinban_ , except the coloring was different and the edges were lined with velvet. He lifted some kind of box that seemed to be a container for this item, opening it to place the board in. "A little help from an outside source would be quite useful now." He sounded a little resentful. "Still, it appears we're on our own for the time being."

He had to leave. Something was going on in Europe and he had to be present, for some reason. Syaoran's family, apparently, had also been alarmingly quiet, and though no one said as such, they were worried about Syaoran himself. Sakura's father was already working on heading to Hong Kong.

"We have two options," said Hiiragizawa. "One is that Sakura can come with me. The other is that she can go with you. Either way, we shouldn't leave her alone in Japan."

"I don't even know how I'd protect her," Fujitaka admitted. "I hardly even know how I'd be able to handle myself. I can bluff reasonably, but I'm sure the Li clan would figure out that I don't know what I'm doing sooner or later."

"You'll have half of my magic to back you up," said Hiiragizawa, "and even half is considerable enough that they wouldn't want to cross you. I'll send Kaho with you, just in case; her magic is subtle, but the subtle kinds can make a huge difference, and in any case, Li Syaoran himself, as well as his guardians, are allies from within. I will take the siblings with me; they'll miss school, but they're safer if they're with someone."

"You want  _me_ to go with you?" Touya asked unhappily.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're also a child, and I don't want anyone by themselves anywhere right now. Not until things calm down." Hiiragizawa glanced at the bone hairpin. "Though before we go, I wonder if we can first figure out what  _that_ is from Kikuchi."

"You want to give her a call?" Touya asked.

Hiiragizawa sighed, looking very put upon. "I'd appreciate if someone else can make the call. Kaho?"

Having interacted with the  _kitsune_ , Sakura thought his reservations were a little unfair.

"Maybe I should call," she said softly. "I mean, I'm able to call her."

Hiiragizawa looked at her thoughtfully. " _Hai._ I think that would be good. It would let her know you're alright, and might stroke her ego."

Sakura was not sure why her calling would stroke anyone's ego, but the others dispersed to find the phone and phone number, and soon she was dialing.

Kikuchi seemed to be at some sort of event, because there was  _shamisen_ playing in the background. The number must have been for a cellular phone. Her initial greeting was very cold. " _Moshi moshi._ "

" _Kikuchi-sensei_ ," Sakura said shyly, "it's me, Kinomoto Sakura."

"… _Kinomoto Sakura-san! You've woken, I see."_

" _Hai._ "

" _Good, good. How are you feeling? I was worried about you. It was getting long. If it had gotten longer, I would have made my way over to see you myself, and try to escort you back, though I had no idea where you were."_

Sakura flushed.  _"Arigatou gozaimasu._ You've always been so kind."

_"Mm. You are a good girl. I'm glad to hear from you."_

_"Kikuchi-sensei…"_ Sakura felt so embarrassed to bring this up; she wished she were just calling to let the other know that she was alright, and not to ask for something. "I…I need your help. If—if you don't mind."

" _Hm? Nan desu ka?"_

"I…I came back with something. It…the others say that it wasn't there until I woke up."

_"What did you come back with?"_

"Some kind of hairpin…made of bone."

Kikuchi was silent for a moment, though there was singing in the background and strumming; she must be at the teahouse.

_"Interesting. You might have brought it back with you. Hm. Remember we thought you might have been a cervine messenger."_

_"Hai?"_

_"A lot of female deities use hairpins as false forms for various artifacts, like swords, spears, arrows, and other priceless items. Female demons do it too, though I doubt you got this from a demon. If you really were a cervine messenger, this might have been an antler. What it's true form is…that's harder to say. It might be a spear; usually cervines use spears. Might also be a staff."_

"Oh…" so Hiiragizawa was right. "…Then how do I use it?"

 _"You'd need an incantation, as with many such things. Sometimes you can just think of the incantation in your mind, but you'd still need to know it. I wouldn't know what the incantation is. You should go to the Sika Temple to find out."_ The music in the background was getting louder, and there was a voice murmuring in serious tones.  _"Sumimasen. I need to go. I am glad you are well."_

" _Arigatou gozaimasu, Kikuchi-sensei._ "

After she hung up, Hiiragizawa absorbed this information with a frown. "Then I suppose we need to go to the temple," he declared. "I want to get to the bottom of this before we go to England. If this is potentially a weapon we can use to defend ourselves, it's best that we know, rather than carry it around in ignorance."

* * *

When they returned, it became clear that Li Yelan's absence was due to dark reasons; Syaoran's sisters had also disappeared while Syaoran and the guardians were away.

Kero was the first to notice something was wrong, even when they were a distance away from the estate. The lights were on but the curtains were not. They could see inside, and all the furniture had been pushed askew. Yue held Syaoran tightly as they waited on a far rooftop while the other guardian went to investigate. He joined them with a grim expression.

"Whatever happened was violent," he told Yue. "No blood, but no sign of the girls."

"It's alright," Yue said softly, embracing Syaoran tightly while the boy's heart began to pound in fear. His world seemed to tunnel in as he realized the only allies he had in this world were missing, possibly dead.

"It's alright. I'm here. Kerberus is here. You're alright."

"No—"

"It's alright. You're safe."

" _Mama—_ "

"We need to get  _him_ out of here before we figure out what happened."

Yue had extended his wings already.

"Wait!" Syaoran wriggled, twisted, but Yue was so strong—he was always so strong, and Syaoran was starting to tremble so badly that his limbs ended up thrashing fruitlessly. "No! My sisters! My mother!"

"You need to stay safe!" Yue pressed him even tighter. "We won't let anything happen to you. We'll find out what's going on, but we need to get you out of here."

"No!" Syaoran cried out.

But they were already in the air.

"Please!" he cried, fisting Yue's robes, squeezing some of the guardian's silvery hair. "I can't leave like this! Take me back!"

The guardian did not slow, and they were too high up for Syaoran to risk struggling. He keened as panic gripped him, so tight that he saw swirls of color in his vision. The lights of Hong Kong blurred together in his tears, and as Yue swooped, Syaoran's stomach sank and twisted, and a dizziness took hold of him.

They landed on the other side of the city, on top of a warehouse that was dark because of the lateness of the hour. Syaoran's face was cold and wet. Yue held Syaoran tightly, murmuring in soothing tones that vibrated through his chest.

"Your mother and sister are all powerful sorcerers," he was saying, "whatever happened was dangerous, but we don't know how they are. They may be just fine. It's going to be alright. Kerberus and I are here for you, and we will take care of you. It's going to be alright. It's going to be alright."

The feeling of loss felt like a yawning abyss deep inside him. Yue and Kero pushed their auras through to him, and after a long, agonizing while, Syaoran's tears dried and his mind surfaced from the terror. Kerberus was in his true form, pressed behind him, and Yue was sitting so that Syaoran was sandwiched between them, Kero's paws over his legs, Yue's arms around him, hands cradling his head. Though the night was chilly, Syaoran was warm.

Shelter. He was not alone.

His eyelids were swollen, and Syaoran's head dropped onto Yue's chest, drained. One of his hands fisted Yue's robes with some strands of his long hair. The other fisted Kero's fur.

"What am I supposed to do?" he whispered. He wished he knew. Some master he was.

Yue kissed him firmly on a damp cheek. "You will do what we tell you to do, for you are our charge and we are your guardians. We will never allow anything bad to happen to you or those you need. Do you understand?"

Syaoran looked up at Yue. Do what they tell him to do? He supposed he had been doing that, somewhat, but he had never heard it in those terms before.

"We are here to protect you," Yue said solemnly, "and to guide you,  _Xiaolang._ You are a child. Your relatives, your mother and sisters, have all been expecting you to do things no one should expect from a boy your age. The cards are yours because we have claimed you, for you have the potential to become a great Card Master, but until you are old enough, you need to let us take care of you. We will never let anything happen to you. You are ours. There are certain things we know more about than you. You are a remarkable boy, but you've only known life for a fraction of the time we've been around. Trust me. Trust Kerberus. Do what we say, and all will be well."

Syaoran blinked rapidly. He wanted to, to let go and just…just let adults handle things. But he was so not use to that; he had  _never_ done that—

Yue pulled him close and kissed him fervently on the temple. "Good child. It's going to be alright."

Kero nuzzled his side, great and big and warm, and Syaoran felt something in himself loosen. The guardians were here. He was not alone. They were going to figure out what to do, and they might know better than him; Yue was right. They had been around longer.

"Don't be afraid," Kero murmured.

Alright. He will not be afraid. Syaoran inhaled and exhaled. He was going to trust his guardians. Completely. Because he had no one else and no other choice. 

"We can't have him just out and exposed all night," said Kero. "Maybe we should head inside?"

There was no good way to get into the warehouse without breaking the locks. Yue did so with ease, which sent a spike of unease through Syaoran's chest and down his gut; the guardian was so  _strong_. It was hard to believe that there was ever a time when he had not been afraid of Kero too, because the great beast was a mass of almost two hundred kilograms of bone and muscle. But he brushed his tail gently across Syaoran's legs, and Yue's arms were soft and tender around him. As they located a suitable room, Syaoran felt something inside him settle, and he could think, now.

Something had happened. His mother had been on edge for a while, and she had disappeared. His sisters sent him away; could they have known that something like this would happen? Either way, he was going to have to stop hiding and simmering in his own self-doubt.

"I need to transform more cards," he murmured, as Yue laid him down on what felt like folded cloth. They chose to keep the lights off; the guardians did not need it, and Syaoran understood the need to avoid attention.

"You're exhausted," said the guardian.

"I can't just wait around like this."

"You won't be able to find them tonight," said Yue. "But if you want more cards at your disposal, you can try to transform a few more. One of us will stay with you while the other goes to investigate." He glanced at Kero. "What do you think?"

"I'll go," Kero replied without hesitation. "Nighttime is your domain, and it would be better if the stronger of us stays with him in case there's any funny business."

"I agree. In that case,  _Xiaolang_ , you should transform the cards aligned with me. Two to three cards tonight, I think, at most."

Kero gave Syaoran a nuzzle, before drawing away and transforming into his smaller form. "I'll be back in an hour, regardless of what I find."

Syaoran looked at Kero with wide eyes, his skin tingling with dread. "Wait," he whispered, seeing Kero flash off into the shadows along with his mother and sisters, "what if—"

"Inside of an hour," said Yue, resting a great palm over his forehead. "If he's not back, you can summon him back."

"Summon?" Syaoran blinked.

"Through this," Yue reminded him, touching the key.

"Oh." Syaoran blinked, feeling a little better about being able to pull Kero out of trouble if needed.

"I'm good at taking care of myself," Kero declared, ruffling Syaoran's hair with a paw. "Start the clock." He then whisked out through a partially opened window.

Syaoran opened the book, taking the key off from around his neck, but there was a soft sound, and Yue suddenly yanked him back, standing up and stepping protectively in front. Syaoran tried to press forward—he did not want Yue to get hurt, though his heart thudded so hard his chest hurt. Yue planted down, tucking an arm back to keep Syaoran behind him, and would not budge.

"Who goes there?" the guardian demanded.

The voice that answered was familiar.

 _"It's me,"_ said Yang Liming.


	33. Preparations

The group made their way to the Sika Temple at a horrendous hour. Fujitaka and Eriol were not even sure if there would be anyone there to receive them. Luckily, a priestess was indeed there, apparently doing some late night cleanup. She was actually on the older side—older than Kaho, with lines of grey through her hair. She looked at Kaho, looked at Eriol, then looked at Fujitaka, Touya, and Sakura, before wordlessly letting them inside the gates.

Nighttime at the temple grounds always had that cloak of loneliness about it. The absence of light, of people, of colour, gave everything a gloomy tone. The priestesscarried a traditional lantern as they wound up the steps over the bridge and into one of the buildings. Inside, various deities sat on their thrones, porcelain faces glimmering with painted eyes casting down upon their worshippers.

"The spirits watch," said the priestess, turning to the group. "These halls may hear truth or silence, but no other. What is your purpose here?"

"The spirits watch," Eriol intoned. "If they speak to you, then you know of the turmoil brewing across the realm."

"I expected you to have departed by now," said the priestess.

Her mannerisms and gestures were not typical of the Japanese, who were often observant of common protocols of courtesy. She had not even introduced herself. Eriol had expected that from Kikuchi, but not from a temple hand.

"I have an antler hairpin," Sakura held it out. "I don't know how to transform it though. We were hoping you can tell us."

The woman looked at it from the distance, not bothering to approach. She seemed to know what it was.

"I can tell you what to do," she said gravely, "but be mindful; if you summon it, others will sense you."

"Others?" Touya blinked.

The priestess looked at Eriol and Fujitaka. "They already sense her. The Star Maiden. But she was supposed to have been Card Mistress—she was not supposed to have this relic from her past. It is all already unfolding."

Eriol leaned forward. "You are a seer."

"Sometimes."

"Is there anything else you can tell us? About what is happening."

"I can tell you that there is a great deal of turmoil in the  _makai,_ " said the priestess. "For one, the new Card Master was never supposed to be the boy. His claim on the cards has upset the balance of forces. Chaos is stirring, and it is felt from east to west."

"You're blaming this all on the kid?" Touya exclaimed incredulously.

"We all felt when he became the official Card Master, and gained his own scepter," the priestess explained. "That is, ultimately, the point I make. Each staff is a statement; it is a signature, a public insignia. Everyone is now aware of not just the boy's presence, but the nature of his identity. There are allies, and there are foes. Like him, the girl is an old spirit, though she possesses a young heart. She had come to this world to fulfill a promise. That promise cannot be kept now, and her destiny, the power behind it, is now available for anyone to take. She had already captured the attention of the Demon King. Cervine messengers can be used by many others, for good or ill. Before, only the Demon King knew of you, and he can only find you when you are vulnerable and your guard is down. If you use your scepter, you will not be able to hide."

"Will it be able to defend her?" Fujitaka asked.

" _Hai._ "

"What is it supposed to do?" Tomoyo asked.

"It is a weapon," the priestess replied, "as all headdresses deer wear are. Messengers are some of the most versatile warriors, for they can travel the length of the cosmos, and oft meet hostilities along the way."

"You really were a deer  _kami_ ," Tomoyo stared at Sakura in awe.

"I don't understand," Eriol interrupted. "How did Syaoran's ownership of the cards cause turmoil in the  _makai?_ "

"I'm not sure I know how to explain," the priestess admitted, subdued. "I only know what I saw. I know that the girl was once a Celestial. She was supposed to inherit the Clow Cards, according to an agreement struck long ago. The identity of the Card Master was a major affair, for the Clow Cards embodied all of magic and made them accessible to anyone with talent, strong or weak. She had been born specifically to take this role; the boy stole it from her. Some spirits are outraged. Others see potential in using the girl's unrealized destiny for their own agendas. Everyone has a different reaction to what has happened, as well as a different vision of the future. Whoever prevails will set the course of history thereafter."

Eriol looked at Sakura. " _Ma-ou_ is already hunting her. You mean to say others might, simply because of the power behind her unfulfilled destiny."

" _Hai._ "

He looked at Fujitaka. "What do you think?"

Fujitaka glanced down at his daughter. "They'll come after her anyway. Hiding won't solve anything." He reached over to hug her. "Their mother will help protect them, surely?"

The priestess was morbidly silent.

_Something happened to Nadeshiko._

Kaho looked over. "We'll have to be extra vigilant once we use it," she stated, "but,  _Eriol-san_ , if those hunting her don't hurt her, other things might. Whatever is going on with Watson may very well threaten her. Threaten Syaoran."

"What  _is_ going on with Watson?" Eriol asked the priestess. "Do you know what is going on in the West?"

"That is not something I can see," said the priestess.

"Figures," he muttered. "I suppose I'll have to see for myself. She is safer so long as she doesn't use the incantation, though? Knowing it is fine?"

"Divine objects are powered by thought," said the priestess, "and will. She does not have to utter the incantation aloud. If she is not careful, she may activate it without meaning to."

Eriol glanced at Fujitaka.

"Knowledge is better than ignorance," said Fujitaka, squeezing Sakura's shoulders.

"I'll be careful," Sakura whispered. It somehow felt more right to know.

After all, she must have obtained the hairpin for a reason.

* * *

" _Syuyue?_ " Liming called out again. _"It's alright. I'm a friend, I swear."_

Yue bent down and wrapped Syaoran in a close embrace. He was thinking quickly. He had given away his location to her, but she had also given away her location to him. There was time before she would come upon them, which meant time to prepare.

How had Yang Liming found them? Yue knew she was a seer of some sort. Did a vision lead her here? If so, for what purpose? She was the daughter of someone who had exploited Syaoran's father, but all this time, the man had never actually harmed Syaoran. But could they afford to trust her?

_"I'm here to help!"_

Syaoran's arms were tight around his neck. Yue closed his eyes. Even if they fled her now, she might end up waiting for them at their next hiding spot. She had not shown any evidence of being a threat yet.

He should be able to handle her.

But if he was wrong…

"Syaoran," he whispered softly, "I'm going to meet her. I need you to stay very…very quiet."

Syaoran shook his head. "No, please…"

"Syaoran," Yue tried to remove the child's arms, but Syaoran only clung on tighter. "Syaoran, if she ends up—"

"No!" The boy's distress made him sob. He was clinging so tightly that if Yue were to remove him by force, he would seriously injure him.

He was in no shape to hide while Yue took care of things. The guardian moved to the window; they would have to delay this particular encounter until he had Kerberus with him—

 _"I know you are the guardian of Clow, and the boy is the new Card Master,"_ Liming continued.  _"The Li clan matriarch has been imprisoned by the clansmen. They're hunting for him now. The spirit world is stirring; they've tasted his essence and seek him. If you wish to prevail…you can't do it alone."_

Yue extended his wings before flexing them forward and over the boy, a thick shield in case she chose to attack through the door. "And you mean to help us? Against the might of the Li clan? I fail to see how you can help, Yang Liming. For a sorceress, you are not strong."

 _"I'm not,"_ she replied. She had stopped her progress, based on the distance of her voice.  _"But that does not mean I have nothing to offer. I'd like to not shout it all out loud, if that's alright with you."_

Neither Yue nor Syaoran were ready for a more intimate setting. "Why would you want to?" Yue demanded. "What's in it for you?"

There was a pause.

 _"There isn't a lot of time,"_ she finally exclaimed.  _"This warehouse isn't a fort. They're coming."_

Almost as soon as she said it, Yue sensed it too: Kerberus. He was flying back.

"Syaoran," he whispered, "summon him."

Syaoran felt the guardian as well. "I don't know how!" the boy whispered, panicking.

"Reach for him," Yue found the pendant and moved the boy's hand to grip it. "Bring him here."

Syaoran was too rattled at first to focus. Fortunately, his strong magical upbringing prevailed, and he managed to draw Kerberus through. The other guardian slid out of the pendant in a stream of light, before solidifying into his full form.

At first, he was a little disoriented, but this only lasted a second.

"We need to get him out of here," he turned to Yue.

"We have company," Yue informed him.

"Already?!"

"She might be a friend, but I'm not sure. I intend to find out. Take the boy; I'll find you—"

"No, Yue!" Syaoran grabbed onto him.

"Syaoran, remember, do what I tell you—"

"Please!" the boy sobbed.

In the darkness, his face was in shadow, but Yue could see the desperation, the bone-chilling fear. Syaoran was on the verge of tears again, and he had the sudden sense that this was a key moment. Syaoran was use to having his needs and wishes ignored. Li Yelan did it because she wanted to keep him safe, but ultimately she ended up hurting her son as she did it. Now, Yue was about to make the same decision, because he wanted to recruit a potential ally in order to keep Syaoran safe, but he needed the boy out of the way…

_No. The boy just lost his mother. He needs both of us right now._

"Alright," Yue whispered to Kerberus. "Open the window. We're staying together tonight."

* * *

Hiiragizawa returned the compass via an odd-looking portal that managed to look like it was made of metal and fog all at once.

"I didn't know those things exist," Sakura blinked.

The phone rang immediately afterwards.

"Yes, yes," he said in a frustrated tone, "I'm heading over. I'm bringing someone along. I have to stop by my house."

 _"Your Japanese girlfriend?"_  everyone heard the phone's speakers drawl out.

Hiiragizawa's eyelid twitched, but he stated, "As a matter of fact, no." He did not mention Touya or Sakura. 

_"You've already taken your sweet time, whatever you were using this thing for."_

"Don't get your knickers in a twist. What's so urgent anyway? Nothing has started over there; it's only morning."

_"You know how things like to happen at night! In any case, sure, hurry up and get everything. Can you meet me at Bushy Park in one hour?"_

"One hour?" Hiiragizawa blanched. "What on earth is going on that you need me in an hour?"

_"Well it would have been longer if you hadn't taken your sweet time, H."_

"I'd need two portals then if you want me there in an hour. I'm coming from the far end of London!"

There was a sigh.

_"Fine. I'll give you two portals. Make it quick."_

Hiiragizawa cursed when he ended the call. He looked at Mizuki. "This sounds bad."

"Are you sure you want the children to go with you?"

"I'm not certain about anything at this point. But the house should be safe."

There was no time to make new plans. Another odd-looking portal opened, this one spitting out two vintage keys. Hiiragizawa caught them. They were huge, each the size of his head, and were encrusted with jewels.

Hiiragizawa swore again. "He's not even giving us enough time to pack."

"Why couldn't we go through one of those portals?" Touya suddenly asked.

"They're no good for transporting anything living," Hiiragizawa said absently. "To cross over without dying, you need these, and they are very hard to make and there are few in the world. Watson has five of them, I think, which he loans out. He usually demands a much more selfish price."

Sakura was staring at the keys, entranced. By themselves, they seemed unremarkable; there was no feeling of magic about them. But Hiiragizawa took out his own pendant, and summoned the sun staff. He inserted one of the keys into the head, somehow. He then spun it to one side, then the other, and then stamped it hard on the floor. A gate opened before him, shining bright. The sides were woven golden braids, swirling up to an arch and crackling with yellow sparks. Within the frame was a swirling, white mist, thick and dense so that nothing on the other side was visible.

Everyone stared at the gate for a moment. It looked and felt a little like Syaoran's other aura.

Hiiragizawa turned to Fujitaka. "We'll be in touch."

"Take care of them," Fujitaka replied unhappily.

"I will. Besides, I have a feeling they'd take better care of themselves," Hiiragizawa looked at Sakura, who was wearing the antler hairpin. "Sakura now has something neither of us have."

Her brother hugged her at this. Everyone was nervous.

"Kaho," Hiiragizawa looked at her, "do what you can. Stay safe."

"Don't worry about me," she replied.

Hiiragizawa gestured to Touya.

"This is happening too fast," Touya complained.

" _Gomen nasai_ ," was all Hiiragizawa could say.

Sakura and her brother exchanged a look. Touya took her by the hand and squeezed it, both for her and, she could tell, for himself. There was something very comforting about the gesture; in the past, they had always taken solace in each other's presence. Though nothing had been as terrifying as the dangers that had threatened them recently, it had been the same; Touya and Sakura, Nadeshiko's favorite flowers, together against the world. They were always stronger together than when they were apart.

Hiiragizawa took her other hand. As one, they stepped through.


	34. Two Roads Moving Forward

Syaoran was exhausted, and slept wrapped into Kerberus. They had flown for a while, and finally stopped at a playground. It was designed for very young children and had colorful combined structures, including a slide, a bridge, and a den to crawl through. The den had openings on three sides, but it was a shelter of sorts, and with the guardians, Syaoran was well-surrounded.

Kerberus also slept, curled around the boy, paws tucking him close; he was in his true form, as this seemed to provide the boy with a greater sense of security. Syaoran snuggled into the sun guardian's warmth, but every so often his aura would unconsciously reach out, looking for Yue. Yue was on watch, but he sat so that his hip pressed against the boy's back, and every so often he would run his fingers through the brown locks. For now, they were waiting, and in the quiet of things, Yue could not be distracted from his thoughts.

He remembered a time when he resented the boy for passing the Final Judgment and shuddered internally. He wondered how he could ever have thought that. Now, the thought of anything happening to Syaoran filled him with a deep, bone-chilling fear. He thought of finding the child, bound tightly in rope and near death. They had been so close to losing him, and it had all been their fault, yet here Syaoran was trusting them, holding tight to them and defending them in his own way. Yue doubted he would ever find another individual who was so noble. He felt the child's warm skin, taking solace in the boy's real presence, the evidence of his vitality in every breath, small and innocent like the child he was. If Kerberus were not holding him already, Yue would want to curl around the boy himself, shield him from the world, from all that made the boy sad and afraid.

Nothing disturbed them. When dawn broke, Kerberus woke. Syaoran remained a dead weight in his paws.

"We probably need to move," he predicted. "People will start coming to the park. Plus they found you guys really quick."

"That was a seer," Yue whispered back.

"Not just your probable friend. I mean the Li clan."

"The  _Li_ clan? What did they want?"

"I don't know. From their conversations, I was able to catch that there was some kind of upheaval. Almost like a  _coup d'etat._ Someone new had taken Li Yelan's place. Can't imagine they plan on doing anything good with her children."

Yang Liming had mentioned that Li Yelan was imprisoned. Would this person keep her and her daughters alive?

"Why did they…overthrow Li Yelan?" The idea was baffling.

"Something else is going on with that clan," Kerberus said solemnly. "We need to find answers."

Yue thought back to Yang Liming. "I think I might know whom to ask."

He did not imagine that he would be going to someone he had perceived as an enemy, but as he thought about it, there was something off about the whole situation regarding Li Yelan and her husband. All those people they went to, all those 'beings', and  _all_ of them tricked her? He had assumed, he realized, that somehow they were all villains in this story, but given what he had known, even then he should have been alert to the possibility that the  _Li clan_ had been the enemy in this tale.

It was possible that everyone Syaoran's father went to had taken the artifacts to cripple the Li clan—and they had good reason to.

"Your seer?"

"I wanted her to talk to her at the warehouse," Yue stroked the boy's hair again, "but I couldn't risk him. And he needs me more. He's already lost so much, and he's vulnerable. I couldn't frighten him more. But now that the initial shock is over, perhaps I can try again, when the situation isn't as tense and he's not in a state of panic."

Syaoran did not take to this idea very well when he woke. He was still exhausted, depleted, and very,  _very_ hungry. There were echoes of that gnawing pain even through the bond, but they had no money on them. He  _looked_ weak, and Yue had the nagging impression that if the situation did not turn around soon, the boy was going to become physically ill.

"I want us to stay together."

"Syaoran, we need you to be safe."

"If I'm in danger then so are you. I don't care if something happens to me. I just don't want to be alone."

"Syaoran," Kerberus inhaled as if to gather his patience, "Yue and I are very hard to hurt. We are beings of  _magic._ You are flesh and bone and you are a  _child_ , besides. It's easier to hurt you."

It was not the right thing to say. Syaoran drew inward, curling up and hiding his face in his hands. He wept wretchedly, and despair yawned through the bond, and Yue caught the faint shadow of a moldy room, arms and legs tightly bound, a man speaking Japanese, _Summon them!_

The Kikutake.

Yue wrapped him in a hug. "Alright," he looked at Kerberus, "we won't go anywhere." Syaoran was not ready. Not right now. Honestly, Yue was not sure he was either.

The boy clutched him, wide-eyed in surprise.

Kerberus sighed.

They had to leave the playground to avoid attention. They found a rooftop, where Syaoran managed to transform ten cards: Watery, Shadow, Shield, Time, Create, Thunder, Fly, Power, Woody, and Sleep. Each time Syaoran transformed a card under Yue's domain, the guardian had a stronger impression of Syaoran's other magic. There was a timelessness, something ancient, and yet Syaoran himself was so young and new. The contrast was jarring, and Yue was almost more puzzled at the end of it than he was before.

Syaoran looked better after the cards were transformed; doing so became easier with each one. He seemed to feel better too, looking up at the guardians with more light in his eyes. But transforming the cards drained him, and soon the boy nodded off.

"Should we go back to Tomoeda?" Kerberus asked, once again tucking Syaoran against him with his paws. "We can use your house. He shouldn't be outside like this."

"With his mother and sister missing, he wouldn't want to leave."

"We told him to listen to what we tell him to do."

Yue shook his head. "You can't just do that. We leave him in Japan to scout for information, he'd just feel betrayed and abandoned. It's been difficult to earn his trust even this time; we can't afford to lose it. He's terrified of being alone; right now we are the only family he has. The fear alone would cripple him. We'll have to discuss this with him when he wakes again."

"I'm not sure he'd make the most rational decision."

"Perhaps not, but he's safer with us than with anyone else."

"That's true."

"And he has converted almost a quarter of the cards," Yue looked at the Clow Book. "I don't know if it was just my imagination, but he seems more grounded."

"He feels our presence more," Kerberus reminded him. "Each card connects him to us better."

That was a good point.

"His magic is very old," Kerberus said suddenly. "It's a lot older than he is. It's almost older than anything…anything  _here_."

"Did you get a sense of  _what_ he is?" Yue asked.

"You know that's not my strength. So I don't know if I'm just making all of this up. I do have an impression that his magic—his soul? Is connected to his body in a very strange way. His magic is all raw, mostly unrefined, and it feels like it's just jammed into him, instead of evenly dispersed. Not that it's causing any sort of…problems, per say, but it's just odd."

"His  _other_ magic is very raw," Yue agreed. "It's almost…"

"…Not magic."

Hiiragizawa and Cooper had gone over this before, though.

"But what's really baffling," Kerberus went on, "is that I'm pretty certain he's his first life."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, he had no past lives," Kerberus went on. "Did you note a past life? Any memories…anything? I mean with magic that raw—even Sakura had impressions of her past life in her aura. His is so empty. It could be that we simply can't perceive it, but the more cards he transformed, the clearer his aura becomes to me. There's nothing there."

"He's had a past life for sure," Yue blinked. "He was hurt."

"Oh, so you saw that?"

"He was a very benevolent being," but even as Yue spoke, he was considering. "Something happened that he did not want to happen. It caused him great pain. Something that would lead to the suffering of many others. But…"

It was all "raw", as Kerberus kept saying. Like the far reaches of the cosmos.

"See, that's what I mean," the other guardian reiterated. "His magic is really old, but I don't think he's ever been alive before. Something about him actually feels a little like us. He wasn't really put together right. Not for a human being."

"He has a solid connection though."

"But it's different from everyone else." Kerberus flicked his ears. "I get the feeling his soul didn't come from your usual factory."

Yue contemplated the boy.

"I have the same feeling," he admitted. "There is something really off about him, and how he came to be here." He looked up. "Remember when Hiiragizawa first transferred the cards to him?"

"I do."

"He said to me that Syaoran had needed refuge."

The two of them looked at the sleeping boy.

"He was on the run," Yue said slowly. "This was his hiding spot. This is his camouflage. But what he was…he wasn't alive before. He had a conscience, but he wasn't alive."

Hiiragizawa had suggested that Syaoran was better off not knowing what he use to be. Something about breaking frequencies, that even the strongest of wills…that premonition of Syaoran's tomb then flashed into his mind.

"All things come from nothing," he murmured. "All things become nothing."

The two guardians regarded each other in silence.

Syaoran slept on.

* * *

The journey itself was anticlimactic; Sakura and Touya materialized in Hiiragizawa's home to find it rather dull and gray.

"Oh beautiful," Hiiragizawa exclaimed when he looked out the window. "It's raining. Blimey, I don't miss this part of London."

It  _was_ raining, light drops that looked more sparse than it really was; there were big puddles outside, and the streets glistened like glass. People walked with raincoats with their heads bowed against the wind.

"We still have about an hour," said Hiiragizawa. "We have time for a quick tour. Welcome to my home. This belonged to the Hiiragizawa family—no relation to Clow Reed, as it happens. Unlike the house in Tomoeda, this house has nothing to do with Clow Reed." He waved at them. "Let me take your coats."

It was actually a fairly oriental-looking; more so than Tomoeda. There was an upside-down picture for the Chinese word for Fortune on the far wall of the living room. The main hall had a European-style chandelier, but the living room had a large lantern hanging from the ceiling, made of embroidered silk. The kitchen had a bead curtain, with a random strings of Chinese red-pepper decorations lining the frame. There were Japanese screens too, and some bonsai plants. It was all very Asian, so much so that the statuette of a figure on a cross at the side of the room actually stood out rather than blended in. It was displayed a little carelessly, half covered with books and leaning a little on the side. Out of everything, it was the oddest detail here.

"You're Christian?" Touya asked, trying to imagine Hiiragizawa as such; he did not really understand Christianity or what Christians did, but he tried to imagine Hiiragizawa trying to convert others—that was the only context where he had ever actually encountered Christians—and he could not quite picture the sorcerer handing out pamphlets behind posters about Jesus…

"…That's a loaded question," Hiiragizawa replied. "Why do you ask?"

"You have a statue over there."

"…Oh that. That's not Jesus. That's…that's…" Hiiragizawa coughed as he reached to grab the figurine. "I have to deliver that to Theresa, that reminds me. That's nobody. It's just a guy on a cross. It predates Jesus, actually. It _is_ a magical artifact, though."

"It's 'just a guy on a cross'?" Touya echoed.

"Crucifixion was done to others, you know," Hiiragizawa pointed. "It was a fairly standard way to execute criminals. Some artifacts, even modern ones, reflect standard events, like executions, particularly if they're for morbid purposes. This one is a compass, actually, though not the kind that we used for  _Sakura-san_. It…finds unhappy things, let's put it that way. It points in the direction of…well, said unhappy things."

"Someone designed a compass…to look like 'a guy on a cross'." Touya frowned, baffled by this, "…for the…purpose of finding unhappy things……. Why would anyone do this?"

"Romans," was all Hiiragizawa said, as if this explained everything.

"…Why do you have this in your home?"

"That…is a long story. We can get to it some other time. The short of it is that…well, a non-magical person thought it was an actual statue of Jesus and placed it in a church, and that didn't…sit well with, uh, folks, so I had to retrieve it. I was supposed to give it to Theresa but it slipped my mind. By itself it's harmless, it's just…it shouldn't be in a church, let's put it that way."

"And you just tossed it behind some books?"

"Honestly that was probably Spinel. He…loved it, for some reason." Hiiragizawa seemed to contemplate this for a moment.

"You're a complete weirdo," Touya declared.

This provoked a laugh from their host. "So people tell me. Let's go upstairs; I have two guest bedrooms but one of them I'm actually using as storage, so the bed is covered with boxes. You two can decide if one of you wants to take it, if either of you do."

"We can stay together," Touya hugged Sakura to him. They had done it before at their aunt's, and he had a feeling she needed the familiarity as much as he did.

"That's fine. There's a queen-sized bed in the other room."

The guest bedroom was rather neutral, and had the feeling of a hotel room; there was little by the way of personalization, though there were a few photos of people—Hiiragizawa's relatives, it seems.

"You had parents?" Touya exclaimed, finding this the strangest bit of news so far.

"I'm not Jesus," Hiiragizawa pointed out, "and even he had a mother. Of course I had parents."

"Are these your parents?"

"Probably." Hiiragizawa came over to take a look. "Mmhmm. That's Mum and Dad."

Touya stared. Though Hiiragizawa had always looked like a child, somehow Touya had never thought of him as one.

"Your  _oka-san_ is really pretty," Sakura told him.

She really was. Hiiragizawa resembled her more than his father; his mother had the same colored hair, and her eyes were the same. His father was blonde with dark eyes and a strong jaw, which Hiiragizawa may or may not share. His eyes were actually more Asian-looking than his wife, despite his otherwise Caucasoid coloring, and looked nothing like Hiiragizawa's.

"Are they alright?" Touya asked. "Where have they been all this time? You've never mentioned them or contacted them."

"They're fine," said Hiiragizawa. "They don't have magic. Their families aren't magical. I try to keep them out of magical affairs, partially because they're not aware, partially because it's safer for them to be left out of it all. They live in Surrey and think I'm an investor."

"How'd you keep that up?" Touya exclaimed. "Did they realize you haven't grown since you were, like, eleven?"

"I've confused them a bit. Made them see what they expect to see."

"Since you were  _eleven?_ "

"Well, not since I was eleven. I know many tricks, young padawan."

"Why did you anyway?" Touya asked. "It's creepy and kind of pointless."

"I wanted to keep a low profile. Most of my peers didn't know me as a child. I was expecting to guide Sakura into her new role as Card Mistress and I wanted to do so without outside scrutiny." Hiiragizawa shrugged. "In any case, the bathroom is over here, and…towels are in the other bedroom, let me go get some for you. Why don't you two rest, and I'll be back as soon as I can. This house has many wards, so you two will be safe here."

Sakura was having trouble keeping her eyes open; despite having been unconscious for so long, it was way past her bedtime.

"Be careful," she managed to say to Hiiragizawa.

"Don't worry," Hiiragizawa promised, "I don't go down easily."

* * *

Syaoran wanted to approach Yang Liming.

"I'm not leaving Hong Kong," he said solemnly. "My family fought to defend me. Without me, everything would have been better for them. There's nothing I can do to repay all they have done for me, and I can't run away now that they're in trouble. If this person is related to someone who owes my mother, I need to confront them anyhow."

"If they're after you, which they very well might be, you'd be walking straight into a trap."

"So would you!" Syaoran scowled. "I don't care if you think you're invincible or something. I know you're not. I saw you fading once. That was when you didn't have enough magic to—to keep existing. Right now you're alright, but what if they're able to cut off the connection between us? Then you'd die. I once defeated you in battle. I'm not so easy to beat either."

"That's true," Yue acknowledged with a certain amount of delight—after Syaoran's kidnapping, and with him so dispirited, and he had forgotten that the boy could actually hold his own to some degree. This was a pleasant reminder.

"I have very strong cards right now," Syaoran went on. "If she tries anything, I'll send them after her."

Yue looked at Kerberus. "What do you think?"

"He has a point," said Kerberus. "We're guardians. Our job is to guard. And now that our connection is more solid…we shouldn't hide every time there's trouble. And the kid can handle himself. As long as we work together…that's how we were supposed to be."

"I think if she knows where my mother is, we should talk to her," said Syaoran.

"Alright," Yue kissed the boy's temple. He had not realized how discouraged he had been himself, until his hopes were bolstered just now. "I know where she lives. She gave Yukito the address to her party this weekend." He had also gone to her house himself. Maybe he would learn more about those strange idols.

Syaoran's courage wavered considerably when they actually arrived. He was flashing back to his captivity, Yue could tell. The little hand gripped Yue's painfully, while the other arm squeezed Kerberus' false form as if clutching a lifeline.

"Eugh! It's going to be alright, kid," Kerberus gasped out. "We're not going to let you get hurt. I'm not a stressball!"

In the residential area, the traffic was quiet, but there was still the occasional pedestrian. They paid Yue no mind, even though he had to look odd in his garb, with his long hair streaming down. They managed to make it to the front of the house before Syaoran turned into Yue and hugged him, little shoulders tight and nervous. Yue hugged back.

"Just stay behind me," he said gently, "and let me do the talking. Kerberus and I won't let anything happen to you."

Syaoran took a shuddering breath and let go, though he kept a firm grip on Yue's hand.

Yue rang the doorbell.

Liming answered after less than a minute, her multicolored hair loose over her shoulders.

"Oh thank Heavens," she exclaimed. "Get inside. Inside." She looked out at the street, as if to see if there were spies, before closing the door behind them and locking it.

" _Ming-er?_ " a man called from deeper inside the house.

"It's them," she called back. "It's the Child of Lightning."


	35. Trinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long interval; man these stories, and life, too! Man the plotlines seem to be multiplying, though I only have myself to blame; none of these things are particularly new, they were all natural extensions (or at least I feel like they are natural extensions) of everything that has happened before. Thank you everyone to your wonderful reviews; they really inspire me and keep me going!

Watson was already there when Eriol arrived. The rain kept visitors to a minimum. It was wretchedly cold, even more so than Japan, and Eriol found himself wishing he could have dumped this task on Fujitaka and gone to Hong Kong instead.

"You're all twitchy," he remarked without preamble. "What's with all the fuss?"

Watson held up a photograph. It was of poor quality and there were lens flares, but Eriol could see the outline of a decapitated head.

He considered it for a moment. "Who's that?"

"Selena Warner."

The one that had been missing. Until now. "When did you get this?"

"After I sent you the compass. You were right though: it wasn't the Li clan."

"Of course it's not the Li clan. Who was it?"

"Some Slavic clan. Unclear which. Might be Russian, but could also be anything from Bulgarian, Romanian, Ukrainian—haven't pinned it down. Thing is, they're on the move. Alexopoulos and his team are tracking them down."

"Who's Alexopoulos?"

"Greek hunter. This is just the latest. The Academy has called for an emergency meeting, to take place today at around two-o-clock in Luxembourg. They're turning their attention away from the Li clan for now, but it's been mad. Ever since the new Card Master inherited the cards in a not-so-subtle fashion, things have gone topsy-turvy; there's talk that it's mainly the spirit world, first on the east side but also here. It's obvious that—" Watson covered his mouth, "there is something about the new Card Master that has everyone astir."

Eriol managed to keep his expression placid. "Do we know anything about what that might be?"

"It's obvious that you know something too," Watson returned. "Calling James and Anne Cooper, while you were still in Tomoeda."

"He happened to drop by Tokyo."

"Yes, convenient that."

"Are you implying something, sir?" Eriol's tone became frigid.

Watson paused. Rather than replying, he stated, "You are aware of the barrier between the physical and spiritual world."

"Get to the point."

"Clow Reed's cards break these barriers, if in a subtle and usually miniscule way."

Eriol waited.

Watson turned to the side. "Before all the seers were getting up and murdered, they mentioned something interesting. Anything that is old enough tends to become sentient. That was what they said. Even if it's something you wouldn't expect. Now a few decades ago there was this whole mess on the other side, manifesting on our end as a boom in the number of stuff that can kill people: machine guns, jet planes, the atom bomb. Time passes differently for spirits for for them it was probably something like a few hours of madness, even if for us that nonsense lasted a few decades and killed millions of people besides. It was a similar picture though, other than seers getting killed. Everyone just started losing it."

Eriol realized where this was going. He had been so emotionally invested in Syaoran that he had not been able to think of it until Watson mentioned this.

"Then all of the sudden, poof, gone. Cold War ended too. That driving force had dissipated. We didn't question where it went. A few years later this youngster's born; not foretold, the seers said. Unexpected. Troublesome. His presence kind of threw everyone off kilter, and this and that got changed, people died earlier then they should, others didn't get where they needed to go. Got a tiger of a mum though, this one. That Li Yelan, you don't mess with her."

"The Cold War ended after he was born."

"The Cold War was poised to be a real war," Watson pointed out, "and you don't just switch from hating each other's guts to being bar buddies. Even now, as much as I love the Russians when we all go out drinking, I'm not touching their bloody Baba Yaga elixir. Even the name sounds suspicious."

Eriol managed not to snort. "Lebedeva got a hold of you too?"

"Barking mad," Watson muttered. "In any case, we've got to settle the crises here, keep the seers from dying. That is why I called you here. We need to track down the seers and place them under protection. Aside from that, we may need to reach your little protégé."

Eriol's lips thinned. "For what purpose, exactly? To use the cards?"

"Perhaps," said Watson, "but…he clearly doesn't come from a good place." He looked Eriol in the eye. "It may be that your guardians chose the wrong master, H."

"No."

Watson blinked, seeming surprised by this adamant statement.

"He's a good boy," Eriol insisted. "He's suffered enough. I won't allow him to be involved."

"He may be involved whether you like it or not."

"No. If anything, he should be placed under similar protections like the seers. He is a child through and through. A better soul, you'll be hard-pressed to find." Eriol glared. "I will help the Council on the matter of the seers, but you will not lay a finger on that child."

"I certainly won't," Watson agreed easily, "but others, well, you know what I mean." He held out a floppy drive. "This here is collection of dossiers; all the seers, including the deceased, as well as the suspects of the murders. It would be good for you to read up on those before you go to the meeting."

"At two-o-clock. Short notice."

"Your own fault. You would have had more time if you didn't dally," Watson pointed out. "Fortunately, the main goal you already know: we have to protect the seers. Whatever is driving these people to kill them is from the  _other_ side. Very likely, the Council will assign you the task of sniffing out the latter."

Eriol had many thoughts on that, but he understood that Watson was only the messenger, in this case. "And what about you? What will be your role?"

"To spare no resources for the community." Watson leaned close. "This is serious, H. Something wants all the seers dead. There is something they don't want us to know. We need all of Clow Reed's might on this."

Eriol pocketed the floppy drive. "Much obliged, Watson."

* * *

The man who emerged into the sitting room was clad in clothes from the Republic era. Like most Asian sorcerers, he had moon magic, and his aura exuded a kind of silky, watery quality. He was of average height, but quite thin, and looked almost unassuming compared to his colorful daughter.

"Child of Lightning, hm?" his eyes were scrutinizing. "So we finally meet face-to-face."

Syaoran's every muscle was tense, and when Yue looped his arms around him, he was aware that his heart was pounding hard.

He thought he was prepared to handle the encounter, but now, seeing the man in the flesh, someone who had taken from his parents and then allowed his father to die…he was not sure how to go about this.

"Do you know who I am, boy?" the man asked.

"Yang Bihe," Syaoran managed, his voice softer than he intended, but at least it did not quiver. Drawing some confidence from that, he pressed, "Why didn't you save my father?"

A heavy silence fell. Even the teenager looked dumbfounded. Yang Bihe regarded Syaoran with a piercing gaze, but Syaoran did not back down. He had some practice in glaring contests, after all. One might say he was a master.

"Why don't you and your guardians sit down," the sorcerer offered. "Would you like some tea?"

"Let's not waste time with pleasantries," Kero growled. "Your girl said you wanted to help us. Is this true?"

"It is indeed," said Yang, "but no need to have this conversation by the door. One might assume you wish to flee at a moment's notice."

Yang Bihe had Yang Liming, now meek and quiet in her father's presence, pour out tea for their guests. Syaoran, though he was starving and thirsty, did not dare touch his cup, and was not happy with Kero touching his. He could not stop the guardian in time though. After nothing happened for a few seconds, Yue took the initiative and handed Syaoran the cup, indicating with a tilt of his head that it was safe.

"Ming-er," the man called this daughter, "do give us some privacy, please."

Syaoran thought he meant for her to leave, but instead she did the most peculiar thing: she went to the side of the room and retrieved what looked like an Indian sari. It was actually quite plain, with very sparse designs; a mere green with a patterned bronze rim. She brought it to the cabinet with the idols and shook it loose, before flinging it over the top, draping it down the front so it hid the statuettes from view.

There was a sudden muted quality to the place, like a presence had vanished.

She then went around to draw the curtains and blinds, casting the room in darkness. Frightened, Syaoran pressed close to Yue, who wrapped an arm around him in reassurance. He could sense the guardian's aura rearing up, ready to defend or attack, whichever was warranted.

"Fortune is an odd thing," Yang Bihe reflected, leaning back. "Here we are, the first ones you've come across. Ten years ago, I was the first one your parents approached. More for proximity reasons, really. I wish I could say that was planned, but, as I'm sure you're aware, nothing revolving the Child of Lightning really is. Your father approached me on his own, which was fortunate; had your mother been with him, I highly doubt you would be here today."

"Get to the point," Syaoran snapped, ready to lose his nerve.

Yang frowned in reproach. "I didn't save your father because he couldn't be saved, boy. A life for a life, and it was generous that you even had him for three years."

"Then why did you take the payment? Why didn't you just say that you can't save him, and be done with it? Were you that desperate for a magical item?"

"Is that what your clan told you? Typical. Do you know what was given in payment to begin with?"

Syaoran had not reviewed the files. Had avoided them, stressed as he was. To his surprise, Yue was the one who answered.

"You got a puzzle box."

Kero turned his head. "Guessing it's not just a fun puzzle."

Yue did not even dignify that with a reply.

Neither did Yang. "I have no use for such a thing, myself. It's quite valuable in its own right, but the type of magic that powers such objects is complex, and thus they are good for spells which require…discretion. Your father was not a simpleton. He is the type to ask the right questions, and instead of asking such stupid ones like 'why am I suddenly supposed to die in three years', he asked, 'what is my child running from'."

Syaoran frowned, confused.

"You see, you were born a beautiful child, according to him. Healthy, with an aura of grace that could only mean you came from something that embodied goodness. But the circumstances around your birth were bizarre. You weren't planned, and you inserted yourself into the family in the rudest way possible. Those two combined can only mean one thing: you were in danger, and seeking refuge because you had no choice. If he had gone and simply tried to save his own life, well, he would have trumpeted your arrival to all the realms, and you would have been lost right then. But he already suspected that you were hiding from something, and you materialized in a human form to disguise yourself from a potential captor. I had a much better reputation back then, before the Li clan went and tried to sully it." Yang smiled without mirth. "Your father was the one to steal the treasure. We performed the spell right here, in this room, curtains drawn, cabinet covered, and we took a peek at what was going on in the spirit world."

"Someone was after him," Yue whispered.

"Someone had him," Yang replied. "Thanks to Clow Reed's relative  _lack_ of discretion—not his fault, since he is as puzzled as the rest, but he has been talking about you, by the way, with his friend in the Americas, his girlfriend, and the Star Maiden, all without the necessary precautions, while otherwise broadcasting your negative magic for everyone to see and hear—and his cards, too, did a lot to expose you, along with the Chrysanthemums, so everyone is talking about you now. There will be a lot more chaos to follow. Thankfully, those cards should give you more of a fighting chance, since they open up your positive magical potential."

"What are you talking about?" Kero asked.

"A long time ago, a demon suddenly started lashing about the Gardens," Yang pointed up at the ceiling. "He was a minor  _Mo-Wang_ ; a demon king. Not insubstantial, but not the most powerful, and certainly not enough to warrant the amount of damage he was doing. There was a commotion among the spirit world to contain this new menace, but his powers were very strange; primordial in nature. Negative, as we would call it. Much like… _lightning_. No one else could quite defend against it. He felled whole pantheons in his bid for conquest and many gods and goddesses fell to his lethal strength. But then it vanished. Poof. And he was hurled back down to the  _Mojie_ —the demon world, where he belonged.

"Time flows differently among spirits compared to humans. Often, a short time for them is a long time for us. So it was quite a while before we mortals would feel the effects of anything in the spirit world. Not to mention, there was a lag between events; when the demon king lost his power and when that power turned up somewhere else. That did much to protect your little pup, because as you can imagine, others besides the demon king were very interested in acquiring it for themselves. The other thing no one could have predicted was this bundle of negative magic, so powerful and mighty, somehow turned itself into a soul." Yang peered at Syaoran. "Not only that, it went and created a vessel for itself to live in. One with moon magic, no less."

Syaoran shrank back. Yue and Kero were both looking at him, eyes wide.

"As it happened," Yang went on, "When Liand I performed the spell, most spirits were still up and grousing over the loss of this power; they were all distracted by this, or else I think they would have paid more attention to this new life that should not have been born. We saw the situation and connected the dots, so your father cast a powerful spell on you to hide your true nature. He did not tell your mother, because she was too involved with the Li clan and your secret might be out, and the nature of the spell meant that anyone your parents went to afterwards had no idea they could not save him from his fate."

"…So Li Yelan did not know," Yue said slowly. "And they were going to different people to try to save him and he just went along with it to keep his secret?"

The boy blinked, realizing that his eyes were wet. "Why?" he whispered. "If I use to be a demon, why would he want to protect me?"

Yang's daughter was the one who answered. "Because you weren't a demon," she pointed out. "You were fleeing from him."

* * *

 Unlike Eriol, Kinomoto had no portals to go to Hong Kong, so he had to go in the traditional way.

"It's a twenty-five day wait," he exclaimed. "Is there any way to go there without one?"

"I don't know?" Kaho frowned.

"In any case," the professor pushed his glasses up his nose, "the mail won't be picked up until tomorrow anyway. I'll head out early to get the forms, fill them out; I have passport photos which should do the trick…." He had some experience with filling out the forms, as his job required a bit of traveling.

"He's supposed to take the college entrance exam soon," he was grumbling when they were hailing for a taxi for the train station, "and with all this…it's been hard enough on him, with the houses, the mafia—though I guess that wasn't a mafia but a  _cult_."

" _Touya-kun_ will be fine," Kaho assured him. "In the grand scheme of things—"

"I know." Kinomoto sighed. "And this child," he sighed again.

He was referring to Syaoran.

"Can't believe this is happening," he confessed, when they departed from Kyoto. "Feels like my life's been turned upside down."

" _Gomen nasai_." Kaho was not sure what else to say.

"Well I prefer it this way. Better than having the kids deal with it on their own. I wish they had told me sooner."

"They didn't know they could. And Eriol wanted to protect you, to ensure that at least one of you had a relatively normal life."

"Well that's out the window." Kinomoto looked at Kaho. "You don't suppose something happened to her? No one is saying anything."

Kaho was not sure how she was able to follow this man's train of thought, except that he was similar enough to Eriol that she could easily read his expressions. It was bizarre; he had a similar face despite being a completely different ethnicity, and different age.

"Spirits have their own rules," she pointed out. "I can't say for sure what is happening with your wife. She…can't be easily hurt, as she is, at least."

"How am I supposed to take him from his  _mother?_ " he lamented, jumping topics again. "I don't even know where to start!"

"We'll see how he's doing first," Kaho reassured. "Perhaps she may be convinced to part with him temporarily, at least at first."

"I can't imagine how. I mean that poor boy had been kidnapped. If it were Nadeshiko, she wouldn't have let him out of her sight…" Kinomoto suddenly paused.

" _Kinomoto-san?_ "

"Spirits ought to know more than we do, right?" Kinomoto looked at her.

Kaho followed his train of thought as she had been for the past few hours. "You think she is with Li Syaoran?"

"If she knew I would eventually be involved, that's something she would do."

That was an interesting thought.

"Would she leave Sakura alone for his sake?"

"If she knew Sakura would be alright."

_Hm._

Kinomoto turned to her again. "Can  _you_ see ghosts?"

"That is not one of my powers, no."

Kinomoto turned around and sighed again.

Kaho took a risk and laid a hand on Kinomoto's shoulder. "It will be alright."

Kinomoto huffed. "How did you get involved in all this anyway?"

Kaho considered the question. She realized that Kinomoto might not have deduced the exact nature of her relationship with Eriol, given that Eriol was still going through a growth spurt and Kaho had known Touya in the past.

"I fell in love," she admitted.

Kinomoto looked at her for a moment.

"Really?"

" _Un._ "

Kinomoto looked down thoughtfully. "Are you…" his eyes flickered over at her left hand, where there was no ring.

_"We can get married in Wiltshire,"_ Eriol had said.

He had not brought the matter up again, and perhaps there was just too much going on anyway, but Kaho knew that her lack of acknowledgment hurt his feelings. He had said it reflexively, a Freudian slip if there ever was one.

She had not been prepared for that. In truth, when Kaho learned Eriol's true identity, she had somehow convinced herself that all this was temporary. In solitude, and sometimes when she shared a quiet companionship with him, Kaho had silently reflected that she really was no match for Clow Reed. Eriol, in his typical British indifference, was not especially prone to affection, and weighed with Clow Reed's legacy, had never given Kaho any inkling that he thought too far about their own relationship. Kaho understood him well, and had figured that he enjoyed her company, found her useful, and cared about her well-being as much as any good friend would, but romance seemed out of reach. She had assumed it would be one-sided, and when she could not convince herself to stop loving him, she managed to reach an equilibrium about the state of affairs regardless; she would have the honor of being at Eriol's side until he found someone more suited to him. The revelation had caught her completely by surprise.

Elation seemed dangerous, especially given everything else that was going on. She was just not ready to handle any emotion of that caliber, so she fled. Once the moment passed, though, they never went back to it. Now Kaho wondered if they ever would.

"He does care about you," said Kinomoto. "You know that, right?"

Kaho blinked, embarrassed.

"The way he looks at you," Kinomoto went on, "I see it sometimes, in my students."

Come to think of it, Kaho was still not ready to talk about it. She looked out the window. 

"Let's…get all this sorted out before we do anything else."

Kinomoto frowned. " _Hiiragizawa-san_ really cares about that boy. Seems to have every intention of keeping him if the situation warrants. Is that alright with you?"

Amber eyes and soft hugs. Syaoran had taken to Ruby most of all, but he had been affectionate with Kaho too. Such a turnaround from his initial mistrust. She had kept him at a distance in her mind, but when he was gone, the mansion felt so empty. Eriol had missed Syaoran terribly, though he did much to hide the fact. Kaho found that she was also thrown by his absence, the lack of a helpful youngster at her side in the kitchens, or helping to sweep the floors. But to raise the boy as her own? Kaho genuinely never thought of that, just as she had never allowed herself to envision a life married to Hiiragizawa Eriol.

"We have to get him back first," she pointed out. "He's not a hard child to raise, though."

"No child is easy to raise," Kinomoto said disbelievingly. "And he will be harder than most."

That was true. Syaoran was not typical, and already he had gone through more trauma than most adults.

"I suppose that is for  _Hiiragizawa-san_ to discuss with you," Kinomoto sighed again, and allowed the conversation to die. The man closed his eyes and drifted off, exhausted.

Kaho studied him. Kinomoto would know. He was a single-parent of two children. The key to his parenting, she remembered, was that he had been very supportive of Touya. Nadeshiko had laid the groundwork until the boy was seven. When she died, Kinomoto had the acumen to realize that Touya needed far more emotional support than Sakura did, and had paid particular attention to him when most parents might have done the opposite. This ended up being a winning strategy, because Touya was then able to take care of Sakura, which allowed Kinomoto to essentially focus on one child with twice the results. Even so, he was doing work that often required two people, and Touya was not without his flaws. He had good intentions, but he did not know how to treat women. Kaho sometimes wondered if he even liked women at all. His bond with Tsukishiro had been far deeper than anything between him and Kaho.

_Perhaps you're overthinking this_ , Kaho thought to herself. After all, who knew how to be a parent when they start?

But she could not stop herself from imagining Syaoran being with them. Was that really something she could live with? Could she really take on the responsibility? For the first time in a while, she pondered on how all of these events affect her own life. Eriol was the one with the big name. Syaoran was the one with the big family. Sakura was the one with the big aspirations. Kaho had always meant to play merely on the sidelines. She could step away, if she chose to. Forge her own path, independent of Clow and his great shadow.

Maybe they would not even need her.

She spent the remainder of the train ride deep in thought.


	36. Around the World

Syaoran was exhausted, thirsty, and in shock. His countenance was so nauseated and pale that it was a wonder he kept anything down when Yue fed him. It was not so much what Yang Bihe revealed about his father and his past; Yue should have figured that Syaoran's father could not have been passive in the face of everything that had happened. It was more that Yang Bihe was an ally, if not a friend, and his home was a refuge, and after the turmoil of the past two days, everything Syaoran had been able to set aside before had come back to overwhelm him. After Syaoran downed two cups of water and managed to swallow a couple of bites of bread, the Yangs showed them to the spare bedroom, equipped with its own bathroom, but by then the boy had become nearly catatonic.

He roused enough to shower and don Liming's shirt, which served as an awkward nightgown. Brushing his teeth took some effort. By the time Yue guided Syaoran to bed, the boy had completely shut down and was unable to do anything on his own. He wedged him between himself and Kerberus and stroked the boy's hair after turning the lights off. Though Syaoran was silent and his eyes were closed, his aura thrummed too much for him to be asleep.

"It's alright," he whispered, stroking the boy's hair. "It'll be alright."

Syaoran did not respond. He drifted off slowly, but at least once he did, his exhaustion kept him deep under. Kerberus' tail would sweep every once in a while, but Syaoran never moved. Past midnight, the boy's body burned up. His body had finally succumbed.

Yang Bihe was roused by the commotion as Yue cooled Syaoran's forehead with a wet towel. He offered some antipyretics, which helped the fever. Syaoran woke only part-way, too drained to do more than whimper in protest when they made him swallow.

By morning, the fever broke, and Syaoran looked a little better. It seemed the physical ailment did something to relieve him emotionally, because he was much more responsive to Yue and Kerberus than he was the night before.

"There really are no coincidences," Yang Liming exclaimed. "Out of all the people who could have raised him, he went to the Li clan. Never in a million years would I have chosen that clan, but he picked the right father and mother and now he has Clow's guardians to look after him. The Li clan's not even directly descended from Clow, but it's close enough, I guess. It's amazing what a couple thousand years can do to a bloodline. They get all twisted. But here the two of you are. He's lucky to have you."

"…No," Kerberus denied, but did not elaborate when the girl looked at him in question. Yue did not care to amend; his mind conjured up a reality where Li Syaoran went home without the cards, and everyone in Tomoeda went about their business, never knowing of the missed opportunity or the fact that Syaoran would be going back to this world—a world where his very family could turn on his mother and sisters, and now here Syaoran was, without home. If he had not brought Yue and Kerberus back with him, he truly would have no one left in the world. The boy might even be dead by now, and no one in Tomoeda would have any idea. The thought was chilling, and made Yue want to cry. It felt less like Syaoran had dodged a bullet, and more like the guardians had.

Yang Bihe had his daughter go with Syaoran to play with the dog. Where that dog had been the night before was anyone's guess, but the creature was very aggressively affectionate, and Syaoran was a bit overwhelmed. The seer had the children go off with the pet anyway, mainly so he could have a conversation between adults.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you need," he clarified, "but you need to decide what to do in the long-term. This isn't a permanent solution. The Li clan is looking for him. A lot of…beings are. I don't care how powerful you lot are supposed to be; he's not up for managing this."

There was no question about that.

"You should call an Eriol Hiiragizawa, if you don't know of him already," said the seer.

Hiiragizawa's mansion seemed empty. It could be that he and Mizuki went out; after Ruby Moon's stunts, the guardians would not have been around to answer the phone.

"We could wait until evening," Kerberus suggested.

Evening yielded no better results.

"Should we call the Kinomotos?" Kerberus asked.

Kinomoto Fujitaka answered the phone, forcing Yue to use Yukito's voice to tentatively ask for Touya.

 _"Is something wrong?"_ the man asked. _"I was working on getting a visa approved, but those things take forever."_

"A visa?"

_"Hai. How is the boy doing?"_

"He's…well, it's complicated. Is  _To-ya_ there?"

_"Iie. He's in England with his sister."_

"In  _England?_ "

Turned out, there were a lot of things going on in Japan while Yue, Kerberus, and Syaoran were in Hong Kong, not the least of which was Kinomoto Fujitaka knowing about magic. Yue and Kerberus both reeled at the news about Sakura and her transformative abilities.

"Even Clow couldn't do that," Yue murmured.

Kinomoto, in turn, went very quiet when he heard about the Li clan.

_"Where are you calling from, then?"_

"An ally," said Yue. "A seer, in fact. He has a way to hide us, but it's not going to last too long. We're trying to figure out our next steps."

 _"We all need to come together,"_ Kinomoto sighed.  _"They've gone to England, but I don't know how long they'll stay there. Hiiragizawa used some kind of portal his friend gave him. I don't suppose you happen to have any. If you do I can use one; this visa is going to take weeks and I think we should probably rendezvous in England."_

Yue and Kerberus exchanged a look.

* * *

"I don't know how I'm going to get to Luxembourg in three hours and look at all these files," Eriol groaned. "Do they even have flights to Luxembourg at the right times? Should have asked Watson for another portal."

"Why can't you just use the ones he gave you already?" Touya asked.

"They need to recharge," Eriol folded his arms. "I suppose I can go to Stonehenge. That's a natural gate."

"Stonehenge is a gate?"

"It's not actually a gate, but it can be used as one." Eriol grumbled. "At least, it once could. Trouble is, that thing's almost completely dry. Not to mention missing pieces. In Clow Reed's time, that place was saturated with magic. I don't know if it can still function as a portal."

"How did it run out of magic?" Sakura asked.

"People stopped speaking Old English," Eriol replied. "Believe it or not, many spells depend on the language they were written in."

 "What is Old English?" Sakura asked.

" _Ic nāt_ ," Eriol supplied. " _Ān geþēode is nǣfre genōg._ Believe it or not, I've largely forgotten how to speak Old English. It's been a while, and doesn't quite roll off the tongue anymore. I guess you lot wouldn't understand; Japanese hasn't changed all that much over the many centuries. You people are different like that. Even Chinese sounds nothing like what it use to."

" _Otou-san_ would be fascinated by this," Touya looked at his sister.

"I can catch a train to Salisbury," Eriol muttered to himself, "and I can read printouts along the way…hour and a half, and there's a train that leaves every half hour. But if Stonehenge doesn't work then…well, I suppose there's nothing for it then."

"Are you sure they'll start on time?" Touya asked.

Eriol huffed. "Oh, they'll start on time. Germans."

He had a printer, a dusty thing that jammed every ten pages unless one fed it by hand. It only printed in black in white, which meant none of the profiles had colour.

"I could have read two dossiers in this time," Eriol muttered in annoyance, as Sakura, bless that child, took over feeding the printer so it would not jam again.

"Are we supposed to just sit here and wait for you to come home from the meeting?" her brother demanded.

"I don't know if you really want to get yourselves immersed in bureaucratic nonsense. Besides, there are some unsavory sorts, and neither of you are comfortable enough with your magic to handle that. There's also always a chance that your father or Kaho might try to contact this house, so someone needs to stay."

The elder Kinomoto sibling sighed. Eriol squeezed his arm as the teen closed his eyes in frustration.

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You don't even have  _groceries._ "

"I know." He really was not being a good host, but he had absolutely no time to go shopping, and he did not want the siblings out and about. "I'll be back soon," he promised again.

The train was delayed, and there was traffic to Stonehenge. The site did work, though the magic was creaky and arthritic. Eriol arrived in Loxembourg about forty-five minutes late. The meeting took place in the back of a rather cosy little eatery called Die Gromperekichelcher. For good measure, Eriol bought himself a serving of potato biscuits from the front before joining the others. It was a trick he learned from Clow Reed; if arriving late and everyone was staring, munching on something was a good way to effect nonchalance.

In this case it was perhaps not necessary. Without missing a beat, the sorceress presiding over the meeting called him out as soon as he entered.

"Glad you could join us, Hiiragizawa." She said in English. She even pronounced his name correctly.

Reflecting on the dossiers, Eriol instantly identified her as Teren, a sorceress of considerable power. Her hair was very red, with tight curls, and her skin was very fair, with dense freckles over her cheeks and nose. She was wearing a long-sleeve turtleneck given the chilly weather, but even the backs of her hands were spotted. She was sitting at the long edge of a wide table, while others were all sitting around, with one sorcerer reclining against the windowsill instead of in his seat. The room was actually quite like a conference room; shockingly so for an area behind an eatery. There were even classical paintings on the walls.

"There are spirits at work," she said.

"So there are," said Eriol, setting his potato biscuits down.

"Your Card Master—"

"Is not involved," he interrupted casually.

"H," came a growl. It was Watson. "Be reasonable."

"He's a child," Eriol glared.

"He's an  _abomination_ ," one of the other sorcerers growled. "A soul without a destiny, doesn't fit into the lives of others—in fact, is  _disruptive—_ "

" _Enough_."

Had Eriol been more in control, he would have allowed the rant. As it was, he showed his bias immediately—not that it could have stayed hidden in this setting. Still, he was tired, and he was worried, and it all showed as he laid down his terms.

"This child," he informed them in the ensuing silence, "would lay down his life for all of you in a heartbeat. He's been told throughout his life that he was unwanted. He would not think much of the sacrifice. But I think we are all men and women enough not to require a child to die for us."

"No one is saying he must die," said Teren, in a soothing voice—she was a mother of three, and while she initially exuded an aloof indifference, Eriol realized that something about his passionate words must have spoken to her maternal side. "He was the one who was kidnapped by the Chrysanthemums, wasn't he?"

Eriol allowed himself to sit down before speaking. "Yes. And much hurt they caused, from which he has yet to recover, last I saw of him."

"That was a Li child?" Another sorcerer at the table exclaimed. "I did not know that. Of the Li clan?"

"It must have been him," said the first sorcerer who had accused Syaoran, though he did so without as much ire. "See what he's doing?"

"What do you mean?" asked a sorceress.

"With the Li clan up to shady business, first the Chrysanthemums, and now the clan's deposed their matriarch. The boy's creating a mess of things!"

"So what do you propose?" the second sorcerer asked dryly. "Do you want to murder the child, and see if that solves all of our problems?  _Magically?_ "

"At least figure out what he is, and what sort of entity now holds the most powerful magical artifacts of all time. These are Clow Reed's spell cards, you realize."

"That go through a judgment process," Teren pointed out.

"Well he could have bypassed that! With everything else he is causing!"

Eriol was still dwelling on the comment on the Li matriarch. He was perplexed, and that made him uneasy. He could not bring himself to interrupt.

"Of course, correlation does not equate with causality," Teren looked Eriol's way. "If we are to do something as heinous as killing a child, we cannot do so on a whim."

"At this point, the Li clan's going to kill him before anyone else does."

"We shouldn't rely on a kid to be our answer to everything," Watson interrupted.

"Assuming he really is a child."

"He's not Pinnochio," Eriol interjected, fed up with all this. "And I thought we were going to try to figure out how to protect the seers."

"What we do know of the seers points to your protégé," said the sorcerer by the windowsill. Eriol did not recognize him at all, but something about his body posture had Eriol instantly on alert. "Nothing is a coincidence, as they say. The Li clan, your cards, the Chrysanthemums, now the seers."

"The Chrysanthemums answer to some kind of eastern demon lord," said a blonde sorceress; she was very fair and blue-eyed, and Eriol vaguely recalled something about her coming from Iceland. "They use that Japanese paper wand to draw energy out of their victims. They kept that boy there for ages and he still has enough magic to wield the Card Master. He's no ordinary child."

Eriol folded his hands on the table. "Do you want his help to protect the seers?" he asked, realizing this might be the only way to remove the target off Syaoran.

"Assuming he doesn't bring further disaster on us," said the sorcerer by the windowsill.

"Can he be trusted? He is a Li."

"He's ten years old," Eriol scowled.

"He  _looks_ ten years old."

"You realize he is halfway to the other side of the world?"

"The source  _is_ on that side of the world," said Teren, "which is why only the seers are being affected  _here._ Something is stirring in the east that the spirits don't want us to know about."

"Some spirits, anyway."

"And whatever it is, if it keeps going unchecked, it won't  _stay_ in the east."

"We need to remove the Card Master from the Li clan."

Eriol inhaled.

"H can keep an eye on him," Watson turned to regard him. "He did inherit  _your_ heirloom, after all. If this child proves to be innocent, you are best equipped to protect him. If he proves to be a threat, you are also best equipped to handle him."

Eriol's palm stung as he remembered the blow he struck on the boy's face, so hard that the cheek had bruised. Syaoran, eyeing him with defiance, when Eriol knew that inside, that child had been terrified out of his wits. The thought of being expected to harm the boy in any way made him feel faint and sick.

"The seers need to be guarded too," said Teren. "As Hiiragizawa pointed out, we can't assume the child alone is the source of all these problems."

"We'll need to establish wards and strongholds, in case these clans try to attack."

"Might be worthwhile taking them to protective custody."

"I may have a sanctuary…"

The topic shifted, though Eriol stopped paying attention. He had wanted Fujitaka to take Syaoran away from the Li clan, and the goal was to bring the boy to England, but with all this attention, this seemed like bringing the child right into the jaws of a lion.

Still, Syaoran was not safe as he was, and danger was hunting him anyway. Better keep him under Eriol's own roof, where Clow's old magic could shield him just as well as in the mansion in Tomoeda. With Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun asleep, the boy was in no danger from anyone within. Yue and Cerberus will protect him when Eriol cannot. The arrangement was probably ideal, and was what Eriol had planned anyway. He just had not wanted other sorcerers involved, but…given the circumstances, that was perhaps asking a bit too much.

Just as long as Syaoran's mother—

But the matriarch was deposed, they had said.

Eriol frowned. He was going to have to get to the bottom of that one, as well. If this was true, Syaoran could be in immediate danger, and Eriol was just sitting here, listen to people talk…

He was practically jumping out of his skin by the time the meeting adjourned. He meant to request more keys from Watson, but Teren intercepted him before he could reach the trader.

"You cannot withdraw yet," she warned, "not with so much at stake."

Eriol eyed her. "I'm not withdrawing." Whatever that meant. "Now, if you'll excuse me—"

Teren held out a key.

Eriol blinked. "What is this?"

"Key of the Silk Road," she replied. "This will take you to Xi'an."

"That's miles away from Hong Kong."

"Closer than Luxembourg."

Eriol wordlessly took the key. He still had to find some way to go home, where the Kinomoto siblings were still waiting for him, but so far no one else knew of their presence in England and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Best not waste any time," said Teren, "before he gets kidnapped again by another stupid cult. They might kill him this time, or worse."

* * *

Touya picked up the phone when it rang.

 _"There have been some developments."_  His father explained the situation.  _"I still need a visa, since I can't just open some kind of portal with a staff. When is Hiiragizawa coming back?"_

"Beats me," Touya deadpanned.

 _"Well, this is a mess,"_ his father summed it up.  _"Whenever he does return, be sure to drop a word to him about the situation in Hong Kong. If he could use one of his keys to go there sooner rather than later, might help the little one before they decide killing the matriarch isn't enough."_

"Do we know she's dead?"

_"I don't know, but she's certainly out of commission."_

"This is crazy," Touya blinked rapidly. "All this, from winning a deck of cards. This is insane."

_"Hiiragizawa wouldn't happen to have anything that can help, would he?"_

"Well I don't know. The keys have to recharge, like in a video game. He has this, uh, guy on a cross that helps you find unhappy things."

_"…You mean Jesus?"_

" _Iie,_ he specifically said it wasn't Jesus."

_"Why would……whatever. Surely he has other resources in his house."_

"You want us to go snooping through his things?"

_"He's the one that loves the boy so much. He'll get over it."_

_Huh._ Touya did not expect that from his father. "Sure. I'm sure the  _kaijuu_ would love this."

_"Call me before you decide to do anything. Mizuki told me that he shouldn't have anything immediately dangerous, but if you're not sure, give me a call. Make a list of what you find and call me back; Mizuki might be able to identify them for you and instruct you on how to use them, if they're helpful."_

"Sounds good,  _Otou-san_."

The siblings ended up staring at Hiiragizawa's figurine on a cross for a good half an hour.

"It's not Jesus," said Sakura.

" _Iie._ "

"He doesn't have nails through his hands and feet, they're just tied with rope."

"I guess because he's not Jesus."

The face was twisted to the side, as most such figures were. The subject had long shaggy hair and a shaggy beard. His ribs showed prominently, and his belly was bowed inwards.

"Why didn't the Romans just make them do  _harakiri_?"

"I don't know. They're Europeans."

"Or just tie them to a pole. Why go through the trouble of building a cross if all you're doing is putting them on display and leaving them to starve to death?"

"I think something about the cross itself kills them," said Touya, hardly able to believe he and his sister were having this conversation.

Sakura stuck out a finger, but Touya caught her before she could actually touch the thing.

" _He_ just—"

"I know, but haven't you learned not to touch random things now?"

"Well we can't help  _Syaoran-kun_ if we don't touch anything. This is the only object we know of that is magical."

"And it looks for unhappy things."

"It was good enough to be in a church."

"It was bad enough that he had to take it away."

"Well, maybe because they didn't want to confuse people and have people praying to someone who's not Jesus."

They stared at each other.

Touya grabbed the figurine.

" _Oni-chan!_ " Sakura snapped. "You just told me not to touch it!"

"I didn't say  _I_ wouldn't touch it!"

"Well I'm the one who actually knows magic!"

"You're the one that was comatose because a demon was after you! Besides, nothing happened. Look." Touya held the figurine up. 

It was inert.

"How do you make this work?" he wondered.

It was probably just as well that the figure was not Jesus, because among the things they tried was banging it on every possible surface in their quest to activate its properties.

"It probably needs an incantation," Sakura pointed out, but as it happened, neither of them were particularly good at poetry on the fly. "And maybe in Latin."

" _Kami-sama._ " English was hard enough.  _Latin?_

"We should probably look for something else," said his sister. "If he has this just lying around, maybe he has other things?"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

"Right."

Touya blew out a breath. "This is such a bad idea." He took his sister's hand anyway, and together they began to search the other rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crucifixion can cause death due to environmental exposure depending on the weather and the subject's health, however its primary mode of execution is actually through asphyxiation. Under normal circumstances, humans breathe by using the muscles of the chest, such as the diaphragm and the muscles between the ribs, to expand the ribcage, creating a vacuum that causes air to flow into the lungs. The natural elastic properties of the torso forces the air back out during exhalation; this can be enhanced by using abdominal muscles, such as when blowing into a balloon, but the chest has to shrink down first and this happens involuntarily. Therefore, asphyxiation usually happens because the individual is unable to inhale (choking, strangulation, etc). 
> 
> Crucifixion stretches the torso out, countering the natural elastic tendency to shrink back down. The lungs are kept expanded so that they cannot force the air back out. The victim can overcome this by contracting their pectorals, which would require pulling themselves up with their arms, or pushing up with their legs if they have the proper support; this would allow them to reduce the size of the chest cavity. Inevitably, fatigue prevents the victim from sustaining this practice. Inability to exhale causes carbon dioxide to build up in the victim's blood and also prevents new oxygen from being inhaled. Usually death follows within a couple of minutes.
> 
> On occasion, the strain can cause the heart's vessels to rupture. The heart is surrounded by a tissue called the pericardium, which is basically a bag that separates the heart from other tissues of the chest so it doesn't scrape and rub against other structures as it pumps. When the heart vessels rupture, a pool of blood forms between the heart itself and this pericardium. Because the pericardium is not elastic, it cannot grow to accommodate the blood, which continues to build and presses on the heart so that it cannot expand. If it cannot fill with blood, it cannot pump it either. This condition is called cardiac tamponade, which is what Jesus Christ was said to have died from.


	37. Pressing the Hours

Prior to going to Xi'an, a city known for the Terracotta army (which, in Eriol's experience, was far more boring than most people might anticipate), he called the house to make sure the siblings were alright.

 _"Your not-Jesus is useless,_ " Touya told him.  _"It's pretty sturdy though; we banged it up pretty good but somehow there's no scratch on it."_

"Of course there's no scratch on it!" Eriol exclaimed. "And what are you doing with it?"

_"We were trying to figure out if it could help us. Like, point us to an unhappy thing. Like an unhappy boy. Whose mother may or may not be dead."_

"How did  _you_ know about that? And what do you know?"

 _"Otou-san called,"_ Sakura piped in,  _"and Yue-san had called from a friend's place in Hong Kong, and said that there was some kind of coup. His mother and sisters have disappeared; the only reason Syaoran escaped was because he was flying with the guardians at the time."_

_"They're with a couple of seers over there, with some way of protecting them, but they said they can't stay there for too long. They were trying to locate you, actually. When are you coming back?"_

"I have no way of coming back because Watson made off before I could accost him," Eriol groused. "I've been given a key to Xi'an, which is a few hours away from Hong Kong, but it's a pretty old city and they've used the same language for thousands of years, so everything still actually works." Hopefully the Terracotta Mausoleum has something usable. "Hong Kong also has some sites that can be used as portals; I can use those to teleport back to London."

_"Does Luxembourg not have any sites?"_

"Luxembourg's only a thousand years old, and they couldn't decide which language to use."

The Kinomotos grunted, and Eriol thought idly that it figured the Japanese children would not be impressed.

 _"How long are you going to be gone?"_ Touya exclaimed.  _"The kaijuu is getting hungry and you have nothing in the fridge."_

 _Oh sh—_ "Ugh. Order pizza or something. Aren't there coupons on the fridge door? Just order delivery."

_"We have no money."_

"Use mine. There should be some money in one or two of the coats; just search through them."

 _"What if we order three thousand yen of pizza?"_ Sakura asked, sounding genuinely worried.

"You're not going to order three thousand yen of pizza. And they're in pounds, my dear. If there's change let them keep it; it can act as tip."

 _"A tip?"_ Touya exclaimed, sounding stressed.  _"Kuso. We're supposed to tip here?"_

Eriol blanched. "Oh God. Don't worry about it. Just let them keep the change."

 _"What if there's no change—_ _"_

"Don't worry about it; tipping's not a big deal."

The children were understandably nervous about the whole thing; normally self-sufficient, they were out of their depth in a foreign country without even a booklet to prepare them for how to conduct affairs. Eriol ended up calling for pizza delivery for them after Touya managed to find some money, because upon reflection, he did not think their English would be particularly comprehensible, and they might very well order a hundred pounds worth of pizza just because the restaurant could not parse their request.

After making sure the youngsters will be fed for the evening, Eriol used the key and emerged in Xi'an. At this point, it was past midnight. The Terracotta Mausoleum was actually an hour out. 

Fortunately, Eriol's magic could shorten that by half.

* * *

 Daidouji Sonomi was not impressed when Kinomoto had dropped off her daughter.

"What were you doing?" his in-law demanded.

"Visiting Kyoto."

"And then  _staying overnight_ there? Who are you?" she glared at Kaho.

Kaho was honestly too exhausted to deal with this, though she knew the woman deserved an explanation. "I am Mizuki Kaho—"

" _Oka-san_ ," her daughter began.

"Quiet," her mother interrupted, still glaring. "What is going on? What about Touya and Sakura?"

"They're fine."

Daidouji's eyebrows pinched as she turned her formidable gaze on Kinomoto.

"You do realize what time it is?"

Kinomoto folded his arms. "I do."

" _Oka-san,_ " Daidouji Tomoyo tried again, but her mother dismissed her attempt.

"You've been up to no good lately, Kinomoto Fujitaka. Don't think I haven't noticed! I don't care what you're doing with this woman, but you involve Nadeshiko's children—"

 _Kami-sama_. "There's nothing going on—"

"Touya and Sakura are none of your business," Kinomoto stated coldly.

This seemed to be what Daidouji wanted to hear. She stalked forward. "I can unmake you," she hissed. "Don't think that I can't."

"Why? Because you're rich?" Kinomoto drawled back. He was exhausted too, Kaho saw, and a little of Eriol's steel was showing through. A lot, actually. "Pay attention to your own child instead of fixating on mine."

Said child burst into tears. Daidouji actually continued to press, apparently not hearing her daughter sobbing.

"With all this business lately, how can you take these children running around in the middle of the night—hey! Where do you think you're going?"

" _Oka-san!"_ Tomoyo cried out in horror when Daidouji reached to grab Kinomoto in an attempt to stop him from turning around.

Kinomoto grabbed her wrist and flung it away. Startled by this display of strength, Daidouji was stunned speechless.

"Tomoyo is unharmed," he said calmly. "She needs to be put to bed. Do you remember how to do that,  _Itokou-san?_ Or do you need me to do it for you?"

Daidouji blinked. Her daughter stared at Kinomoto in shock.

"We'll talk in the morning," he went on. "I can't talk to you right now. Too much has happened."

Daidouji's eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

"In the morning," Kinomoto turned away again. This time, Daidouji allowed him. After a moment, Kaho joined him.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Sonomi and I never saw eye to eye," Kinomoto replied tonelessly. His face was slack from weariness as they walked side by side in the night. "She was Nadeshiko's best friend and closest confidante, much like Tomoyo and Sakura. Never forgave me for taking Nadeshiko away from her. She knows in her heart that Nadeshiko was never hers. That doesn't make it easier for her, though. She enjoys it when I appear flawed.

"Really, she is sick," he went on, because he was too tired to maintain any filter between his tongue and his true feelings. "She tries to make her daughter look like Nadeshiko and it's just…even I don't try to do that and Sakura really is a clone of Nadeshiko."

Kaho was realizing that she was also too tired to listen to this family drama, but once Kinomoto started, he seemed unable to stop.

"She loves Touya and Sakura and would have liked to be their mother. Would have adopted them, I think. Ignores her own child, though. Meanwhile, Tomoyo is growing up and she's barely even aware. She's her own flesh and blood; Nadeshiko's her first cousin. What on earth is going through her head? I really can't understand—certainly, I'm not the perfect father; I'm not there for my children nearly as much as I should be, what with having to earn an income and all, but if Sonomi dropped off Touya and Sakura on my doorstep in the middle of the night, I wouldn't be raging about what she's doing with Tomoyo. And did you see how she totally ignored her own daughter in order to yell at me?" He pointed in the general direction of the Daidouji mansion. "Not a word to her daughter. Not 'Are you alright?' or any such thing."

Kaho had no idea what to say.

"I mean she does love her daughter," Kinomoto grumbled, "she's just…" He sighed heavily and raised his hand up to rub his face.

They almost reached Eriol's mansion when Kinomoto spat out, "Selfish."

"…" Kaho had lost track of the conversation at this point, mainly because they had gone for the entire duration of the walk without speaking.

Kinomoto seemed to realize this. " _Gomen nasai._ " He inhaled deeply. "You didn't need to hear all that."

Kaho still said nothing, and tried to be silently supportive.

"Would you believe it," he laughed in a self-deprecating manner, "but I miss them already. They're the only ones who make my life somewhat bearable."

There was the weight of years of mourning and loneliness in those words. Kaho raised her hand and laid it on that strong shoulder.

"She didn't die because of me," he went on, "but when everyone insists on that, you start to wonder. And with the children, you don't make enough money to give them the life they deserve, you don't make enough time to give them the attention they deserve, and there are only twenty-four hours in a day and seven days a week and one's seven years old and the other's only three—you're a man, you don't have a mother's instinct; you're not manly enough to be a good father; now Touya's sick and it's your fault and Sakura's hurt and you should have watched her more closely and none of this would have happened if Nadeshiko were here instead; maybe we should take them away—they were going to take them away, or at least try. Not that any court would have allowed it but with all that pressure, the children were bound to feel it, and that's no way to live—how were they supposed to trust me as their father—"

" _Kinomoto-san,_ " Kaho took his hands. "You're not alone."

They were in front of Eriol's gates.

"Why don't you stay the night," Kaho suggested. "It's very late and there's room enough."

" _Iie,_ " Kinomoto said immediately. "I appreciate it."

"Are you certain? I don't know if it's wise for you to be alone."

"Perhaps not," he replied, "but hardships are not to be avoided, even if it's solitude. We need no rumors about you and I. Good night,  _Mizuki-san._ "

She had not thought of that. The Amamiya's really had no idea how lucky they were that Kinomoto was the one who claimed Nadeshiko's heart. Any other man might have married a second time by now, or perhaps even a third, and Touya would have grown up with a different idea of what a family was. It was not so much that a stepmother could be a bad idea, because over the years, no doubt people have pressured Kinomoto on this vein as well. It was simply that few people would have treated the potential consequences with the gravity they deserved, and it was all too easy to give in to impulse during moments of weakness. Nadeshiko was barely more than a child when she married Kinomoto; he would have had to consider how his behavior might reflect on her virtue, because few girls her age would have known what to watch for. It was clear that he devoted his entire heart to her well-being and happiness, and even now, years after her passing, he still conducted himself with the same honor and integrity, so that his children may continue to hold their heads high.

 _What a man,_ Kaho thought with a heartfelt admiration, as Kinomoto Fujitaka bowed and left her at the gates.

* * *

They were having dinner when Yang Liming looked up and said, "Oh no."

A heavy silence fell over the table. Syaoran looked at everyone, before stretching his senses out, but as he sensed the familiar auras, muffled under heavy shielding, he suddenly felt dizzy, and almost swooned.

He was not ready. He was so exhausted, he felt sick, and half of him wanted to give up while the other half wanted to hide, to become small and invisible so that no one and nothing could find him.

"They're on their way," said the teen. She looked at her father. "What do we do?"

"We have our defenses," he replied, eating a bite of tofu with a nonchalance that actually seemed genuine. "There's a reason they didn't try this before. Now it's only worse for them. We have a Card Master among us."

Syaoran did not feel much like a Card Master. He was drained and dry. He was not sure how he was supposed to lift a finger, let alone wield the cards.

Yue gathered Syaoran to him. "How far out are they?"

"They're on their way," Liming repeated. "I don't know. They'll be here soon. We need to decide what to do."

"Don't panic," her father replied. "Syaoran, child, eat. You need food to build your strength and grow."

Syaoran stared at the array of dishes and buried his face into Yue's shoulder. How was he supposed to muster up any sort of appetite?

" _Baba,_ weren't you the one who told them they can't stay here indefinitely?"

"They're not staying indefinitely, but neither will we be driven from our own home, and so long as they are here, they are our guests."

Syaoran turned his head. "We should go," he croaked. If he was the reason the Yang's were in danger…

"Nonsense," said their host. "Don't worry child. Finish your dinner. You're a growing lad."

"It's alright," Yue agreed, keeping a reassuring arm around the boy. Meanwhile, Kero was hovering by the window, for once ignoring the food on the table.

Liming squinted at her father. "You're waiting," she realized.

Her father took another bite, before suddenly slamming his chopsticks down. "He's not going to make it."

"Who—"

The world flashed.

Blinded, Syaoran was entirely helpless as his retinas burned. Yue's magic tugged on his, and Syaoran let it flow; if his guardian needed it, Syaoran would provide. The moon guardian's arms were tight and secure around him, palm cradling his head as they moved backwards.

"They're attacking from afar," he heard Yang Liming hiss.

"They're trying to crack the wards."

"Say, Card Master!" the teen called out, "think you can put your fancy cards to use?"

Syaoran could not even open his eyes yet. "I can't see," he whispered to Yue. "I can't see…"

"That will pass," he heard Yue murmur. "Don't be afraid."

_I'm so scared…I can't be scared, they need me—what am I going to do—_

"Where are they aiming from?" Kero exclaimed. "I can't see them because it's so dark out. Yue!"

"I can't," Yue murmured.

"You and your arms," Kero grumbled.

There was a swirl of magic as something activated within the house.

Syaoran tried to open his eyes. They hurt, and were watering. He grabbed at his key, but felt, rather than saw another flash. The floor shook, so hard that Yue's grip tightened as the guardian fought to maintain his balance.

The dog started barking.

"I think they're all around."

"We can't just sit there and wait for them to keep firing spells!"

"Boy," Yang Bihe called out, "can you use the cards?"

_They need me._

Summoning the staff, fortunately, did not require sight, but he still could not see anything because of the afterimages. The book was heavy and the cards were all nameless; he had no idea which each one was.

"Shield!" Syaoran exclaimed, and threw it out, swinging his staff at it and praying that it was the right card. Shield's magic, a peculiar kind of hard, impenetrable aura, bloomed out, went through all of them, and solidified like ice.

"… _Wa_ ," said Liming.

Syaoran tried to blink the colors out of his eyes. He was starting to be able to make out silhouettes. "Did I do it?"

"Syaoran?" Yue's hands tightened. "What's wrong?"

Syaoran blinked again. "I can't see."

"When the wards flashed," Yang Bihe realized.

Something struck against Syaoran's shield. He cringed against Yue, though the defenses remained strong.

"Are they seriously going to keep batting all night?" Liming exclaimed.

"That's a good level shield," her father noted. "How long can you hold it up,  _Xiaolang?_ "

"As long as he needs to," Kero replied, "but are we just going to sit here as they launch spells all night?"

Syaoran's fingers brushed against the cards. Yue pressed his head against Syaoran's.

"Just hold the shield steady," said the guardian. "They'll work it out."

_Oh. OK._

"They're going to stop," said Liming. "They can't keep this up. It will attract too much attention."

But the spells battered against the shields in denser and denser volumes. Yue's magic entwined with Syaoran's as the boy's own concentration faltered. They were his own family; surely they would not do what the Kikutake did? Why were they after him at all?

Yang Bihe ducked down as the windows lit up.

"Heavens," his daughter cried, "they're mad!"

"What's happening?" Syaoran clenched at Yue's robe.

"They lit the bushes on fire," Kero reported. "Syaoran, you need to put it out!"

Watery sailed out, but did a quick circle around him and Yue for some reason before going through the walls and into the flames on the front lawn. As she circled back, Syaoran felt a sudden tug. It felt like someone was pulling him by the navel. Pain stabbed through him, and he doubled over.

"Syaoran!" Yue squeezed him.

Black tunneled from the sides of his vision. He was restrained and in the dark, the gag in his mouth and the blindfold over his eyes. His wrists burned, fingers swollen, and his toes prickled from the rope around his ankles.

Fire blazed from beyond the windows as Watery failed to extinguished them, sailing through the walls in its card form as Syaoran's control faltered. Then a ripple followed as Shield also went down.

"Li!" Yang Bihe exclaimed.

Yue turned Syaoran to him. "Syaoran!" he called again.

Syaoran blinked as he focused on the guardian in front of him. Tears clung to his eyelashes, and he trembled helplessly, skin glistening with sweat. 

"What just happened?!" Liming cried.

The windows blew in. Magic shimmered along the walls while the shards of glass ripped through the air like bullets. Yue pushed Syaoran down, his great wings extending over them to protect them from being shredded. When he opened them, Syaoran saw a figure wearing black armor, wielding a spear that seemed to manipulate the shadows with every spin. He could make out a long, dark beard, a featureless face, and a headdress with long feathers that streamed from the top and back.

Yue pulled back, tugging Syaoran with him, and released a flurry of crystals at the newcomer, who blocked them all with a casual spin of the spear.

"Stop!" Yang Bihe exclaimed. "He's on our side!"

Kero bound forward as Yue continued to withdraw. Another set of spells flew in through the windows; huge balls of light and sizzling magic, with tails like those of comets. Wood snapped with deafening cracks, and plaster rained down from above them.

The armored figure was gone, but there was a fire within the home, and smoke blinded everyone.

Without Yue, Syaoran would have been completely helpless. He sensed the Yang's summon their magic, heard Kero bellow out a tremendous roar, felt the bunching of Yue's muscles as the moon guardian heaved his wings, but Syaoran himself was unable to do anything. He clung uselessly to the staff, holding onto it like a lifeline, and as Yue swung the two of them to the side to avoid the crashing debris and flying spells, Syaoran turned and buried his face into the strong shoulder. His mind was washed out with white. He could not formulate thoughts, could not parse the meaning of what was happening around him. It was only when Kero was hit, and Syaoran felt pain flare from that end of the bond, that Syaoran could even construct a meaningful idea.

Too fast. Everything was happening too fast. Kero was sprawled on the ground over the debris, golden fur stained with blood. Liming's hands were glowing, and there were other figures in the house, some clad in armor, others in robes, all with faceless heads. From one of the windows, a distant cousin leaped inside. He pressed something on the ground and lines flared from it in fine curlicues.

Too fast. He needed to slow things down.

He  _can._

The Time Card was somehow in his hand, responding to his desperation before he could even think of the name. The elderly spirit loomed as it activated, before its form evaporated. All at once, the world was tinted under its influence. A hanging beam of wood froze in midair. Spells stopped in place.

The faceless figures also stopped. They were not frozen in time, though. They turned, as one, to fixate their featureless countenances on Syaoran. There were seven of them, all tall and looming.

Idols, Syaoran realized. They were the sort of porcelain figurines that one would place at altars and displays.  _Why don't they have faces?_

Yue's hands smoothed across Syaoran's chest. Throughout the chaos, the guardian had never left Syaoran's side, had held tightly to him, in fact. The Time Card fell under his domain, Syaoran remembered numbly. Even Kero was affected, though the great beast's sides lifted slowly as he inhaled, slowed by the effect of the card. Syaoran shrank against the moon guardian again. Why were these faceless figures staring at him? They had no eyes, but Syaoran could feel their gazes, heavy and searching.

Yue's arms tightened.

The idols lunged.


End file.
